It's Just a Crush
by The Accident-Prone Klutz
Summary: Instantly the gravity of the situation really hit me like a giant yellow school bus, Roxas likes me. But he knows I like Sora. And I know Sora likes Namine. But Namine likes Riku. And Riku likes... well he likes girls." AU Roxiri Namora SoKai Namiku
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:**

**I didn't really plan on uploading it but I don't know, maybe I'll continue... who knows?**

**I DON'T OWN KINGDOM HEARTS OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS USED IN THIS STORY! SO DON'T DO ANYTHING RASH, LIKE SUE OR SOMETHING**

**x.X.x**

**Prologue:**

Is it wrong of me to wish my best friend were blasted off this earth? Is it really wrong? Is it so wrong to wish she never existed? How could I even call myself her best friend for thinking those horrible things? We're supposed to love each other no matter what. But, I can't help thinking these disturbing thoughts lately. I can't help feeling these ugly feelings whenever I saw him look at her. Why did he have to look at her like that? Why couldn't he see me? I know I'm nothing special, heck; I'm a nobody, but why?

Every time I see them together talking, it annoys me. Every time he texts her I feel depressed. Every time he hugs her when they meet each other in the halls, it tears me apart. When will it be my turn?

I really did like him, I liked Sora. He was everything to me, and he didn't know. No one knew.


	2. Chapter 1

It was just another first day at high school, a miserable day. When I say miserable day, it usually involved Namine and Sora. Like I've said before, it was completely obvious he had a mad crush on her, which made me incredibly irritated. Sora wasn't the typical 'popular' guy, like Riku, his best friend, was. Riku was the loud mouthed, girl magnet, which had his own fan club. Sora wasn't the silent, cool guy like his other best friend, Roxas. He was the smart, sensitive, soft-spoken best friend, who was always the biggest sweet heart. Sora wasn't the best looking guy in school, but he wasn't completely anti- eye candy. He had periwinkle blue eyes that seemed to light up every time he smiled his irresistibly cute grin. His face was flawlessly perfect in every way, except for his messy brown hair that always seemed to cover his gorgeous eyes. It annoyed everyone greatly how badly he needed a haircut, but I didn't care. He was perfect anyway.

There was only one problem with this guy. He didn't notice me. I mean, he knew I existed, he knows my name and every thing, but, he doesn't see me the way he sees my best friend. Namine was the best friend I could ever ask for. But she was taking away Sora. He only had eyes for her. I mean who could blame him? She was beautiful, with her sparkly cerulean blue eyes, and platinum blonde hair, she was a goddess. And I was her dorky four-eyed red headed bff. I knew I never did stand a chance, with Namine next to me, you could drastically see the contrast of our physical features. Whenever Namine was around he would completely ignore me, and act like the whole world revolved around her. I knew she didn't like him the way I did, and I knew she hadn't the slightest idea I harbored feelings for him either. She was entirely oblivious, as was he. And thus, explains the cause of my miserable day.

Namine and I walked down the hall to our lockers; she was humming her favorite song, while I was looking furiously at the piece of paper the office lady handed to me earlier. It had my locker combination on it. I couldn't read the numbers clearly, since the stupid lady smudged the ink.

"Ugh, I can't even tell what locker number I am!" I muttered, pulling the paper up to the long fluorescent school lights on the ceiling. It didn't help.

"Relax, Kairi, if you can't figure it out by today you can bunk with me, "she said putting on a smile as people greeted her. It was always like this, well, it started last year when she started getting attention. More and more guys started to notice her, and it really made me irritable. Now, don't get the wrong idea, I'm not in love with her, I just sometimes hate that fact that we're growing apart. She started to get all boy-crazy last year too, and it makes me a bit depressed that my best friend is 'growing up'. It felt like yesterday we were making cupcakes in the easy bake oven in first grade. Anyway back to the point, lately it feels like every guy in school has Namine-fever. Even Sora.

"Thanks." I said, stuffing the small paper into my jean pocket. She nudged me playfully in the stomach.

"It's a new year Kairi! Aren't you excited?" she said eagerly. I nodded, smiling uneasily. It's just like Namine to get so worked up over a new school year.

"I wonder what classes we have this year." I said curiously. We had finally reached her locker. She fidgeted with the lock before answering.

"Don't know, they'll tell us during homeroom." She replied, before opening the locker. I looked around hopefully, trying to find that certain someone. There he was walking toward us, well towards Namine. His eyes were lit up, and he was wearing a big toothy grin. He was closely accompanied by Roxas and Riku. Typical, I sighed. He was always around his two best friends, Riku and Roxas. I don't know how they all became friends because they're nothing alike. Riku was tall, muscular and the intelligent one, that was always the at the top of the class, after me of course. He was the good looking guy with long silvery hair, and those apple green eyes. Roxas was the quiet, blonde blue eyed one. I don't really know much about him, actually I don't know squat about him. It was really weird.

"Hi Namine!" Sora said nervously, scratching the back of his head. She turned and looked up at him. He had definitely gotten taller, and… cuter. I blushed looking away.

"Oh, hey Sora." She greeted him with a warm smile, making him blush. I tried not to let my expression turn sour. "Did you have a good summer?"

"Huh? Oh yeah! It was fun. We spent most of our time at Riku's house." He smiled. Roxas and Riku laughed, confirming what Sora said. "What about you? How was your summer?"

I stood there watching the two talk animatedly. My blood boiled in anger, but I did my best to keep it hidden in my expression. They didn't even seem to notice that I was standing right there. I was about to walk away when Roxas stopped me.

"Kairi, I heard you have the same homeroom teacher as me." He said. "Do you want to go together?" I glanced at Sora and Namine who stopped talking.

"Hey Kairi, I didn't see you there." Sora said then quickly turned his attention back to Namine.

"Um, fine, let's go." I told Roxas. Riku stayed behind, I guess he had the same homeroom with Namine and Sora. Roxas put his hands behind his head; I could feel his eyes on me.

"So your summer was nice I'm guessing." He muttered. Was he seriously asking me how my summer was? Roxas and I were never close. Whenever we were alone there was this awkward silence, very similar to the one right now.

"Huh, yeah, magnificent." I said sarcastically, before asking about his.

"It was fine." He said indifferently, returning to his silent exterior. It was quiet the whole way to class. I wished the whole summer for classes with Sora. Maybe that was the reason he was all over Namine, because they had so many classes together last year. I sighed, imagining what kinds of fun he and Namine were having in homeroom. Stupid, school.


	3. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER:**

**ok..sorry this one is like really short.. yeah I'm sorry..anyway, I'm trying to show how Sora really likes Namine, so that might take a while, and then I'll start on some Kairi/sora action..lol and some Kairi/Roxas oh yeah..lol jk, or am I**

**Please review.. you really don't know how much motivation I get from reading reviews _**

**I DON'T OWN KINGDOM HEARTS OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS USED IN THIS STORY!!! SO DON'T SUE PUH-LEASE!!!  
**

We walked into our home room class late only because we tried taking a short cut. It was stupid idea now that I think about it. I was trying to distract myself from the awkward silence between us. A short stubby old man glared at us as we came bursting through the door.

"Glad you two could finally join us." He muttered, pushing his glasses higher up the bridge of his nose. I gulped, smiling apologetically. I hope I didn't look as bad as he did wearing glasses. Roxas merely stared.

"I'm- We're sorry," I spoke up, glancing at the silent Roxas. He nodded curtly, looking back down at me with his icy blue eyes. I shivered involuntarily. Creepy. The teacher eyed us suspiciously before grabbing two pieces of parchment from his desk.

"I assume you're Roxas," He said, handing me his paper. "And you're Kairi?" He gave Roxas the other. The whole class burst out laughing. I flushed, stumbling to find a desk and immediately took a seat in the back, avoiding more embarrassment from the classmate's eyes. Roxas walked more slowly, glaring at all the students, making them turn away. Boy did he look scary. He sat next to me, pulling the paper I had and handing me his, well technically my schedule. I scanned it quickly and peeked over at Roxas' expression. He was glowering at his schedule the same way he did our classmates.

"We have five classes together." He spoke my thoughts out loud.

"Yeah, English, Geometry, P.E," I cringed at that thought. "And Biolog-"

"I can read." He muttered, folding his paper and stuffing it into his pocket. I think I mumbled an apology, or at least tried too. It was always like this, awkward and quiet. I didn't even act this way in front of Sora, and he was the one I was crushing on.

"First Period, English," I read aloud, while Roxas was silently walking next to me. "Room 212, wow there are more than 200 rooms in this school?"

"I think it means it's on the second floor." He said to me, making me feel like an idiot. I went back to the silent 'What-should-I-say?' Kairi.

* * *

When we went through the doors of room 212, I instantly saw Namine. She looked over at the door and her eyes immediately lit up. I sat next to her, wrapped my bag on the back of the chair, and demanded to see her schedule. We traded, and discovered we only had three classes together, which included English, Geometry, and academic support for seventh. Her face fell, but quickly regained her composure, trying not to let me see her disappointment.

"Well, at least we have the last period together," I tried to cheer up. "I don't have to go crazy looking for you at the end of the day." She laughed softly, before looking at Roxas' schedule.

"Wow, you guys have almost all classes together. I wish I was you," she muttered to Roxas. He grinned briefly, and then turned his attention to the door. A silver haired boy and a brunette boy had just burst through the door, arguing loudly.

"This is the right class room you dweeb." Riku said annoyingly.

"No! We passed it! It was-"he stopped because his attention slid over to us. He spotted his favorite blonde and joined us in a hurry, tripping over a chair. I smiled unintentionally, he was so cute. But I quickly dropped the smile because of the weird look Roxas was giving me.

"Namine, hi" he said twice in the same morning. She laughed at his absurd behavior, greeting him again too. "I was looking for you after homeroom; you just bolted out of the classroom that I had to end up being stuck with this punk." He jerked his thumb towards Riku.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't want to be late." She admitted sheepishly.

"It's ok, I forgive you," he winked looking incredibly adorable. He jumped and sat on her table. "So you have first period English."

"Yes, and so does Kairi!" she said happily, tugging at my arm. Sora's attention shifted towards me for the first time, and smiled.

"Hey Kairi!" he said," English huh?"

"Hi," I said a little too happily. Crap. He turned his head to face Roxas almost falling back in surprise.

"Roxas!! You have this class too!?" he questioned loudly, making the teacher from her desk glare at him. "Boy I didn't think you were smart enough." He joked.

"You're one to talk, I thought I wouldn't live to see the day when Sora gets's into and Honors class." He teased, laughing. But his laugh sent chills down my spine, something was creepy about it. I don't know why.

Before any of us said anything the bell rang loudly, making all the lingering kids outside rush inside the class room. Sora took the seat in front of Namine, since our row was full, Riku sitting beside him. The teacher stacked some papers, and took her place in front of the classroom. I decided to mark this class as bad, since I had Namine and Sora in this class. I knew I would get hell from it later on. I took on quick glance at the back of Sora's head, picturing myself running my fingers through his untidy hair, before giving the teacher my fullest attention.

**K...LOL i'll try to update asap...i'm really busy,,, doing nothing lol, I like to procrastinate alot _**


	4. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER:**

**Um, hey, hi... hello, another chapter... ugh, sorry it's still in the same day as the other chapter.**

**Ugh I hate this my chapters are so short..I'll try harder to make them longer! lol yeah, ok..so I know this is kind of going slow, I want you guys to get to know the characters and where their relationships lie...before I get real deep into couples...or fluffy-ness action! :3**

**Oh if you're confused about the scheduling...yeah it's block schedule if u don't know what that is it's the **

**I DON'T OWN KINGDOM HEARTS OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS USED IN THIS STORY! DON'T SUE, DON'T ARREST ME.. AND YEAH! O.o**

* * *

**Chapter 3:**

x.X.x

My next few classes weren't as bad as first. Second period, Namine and I sat near the front while Sora and Roxas sat in the back, they all had this class with us. I didn't have to deal with the obvious flirting Sora was doing with her.

But now I quickly regretted sitting in the front and I had a feeling Namine did too. Our geometry teacher Ms. Hart had a real spitting problem. Every time she talked gallons and gallons of her saliva would drench us. By the time that class ended Namine and I looked as if we went swimming in our uniform.

Lunch wasn't so bad; apart from smelling like your teachers spit, because Namine wasn't there so Sora was completely mine. Ok, well let's just say he wasn't distracted. I sat with the boys, watching Sora constantly looking at the cafeteria doors, as if waiting for someone to suddenly come bursting through the doors. I had an idea who he was waiting for. I sighed.

"Where's uh, Namine," he asked casually, but I noticed his cheeks tinted red. To keep my mood up, I tried to pretend I had caused him to blush… even though I didn't.

"She ran off to the art room." I said. He just replied with a simple 'oh'. We sat there for a quiet moment before I decided to break the silence. "What do you have next?" He stuffed his hand in his pocket and pulled out a tattered piece of parchment.

"Uh… Cultural Geography with…" he trailed off, squinting to see the name on the paper. "Leonhart." My heart lifted. Hope.

"Really, I have that class next too!" I blurted out, failing at trying to hide my ecstatic mood. Yes, finally! A class with just him. I felt Roxas' eyes on me, which made me feel awkward, as always.

Once we got into the classroom, which we arrived early, I took a seat in the back. Sora followed, making my body shiver in pleasure. For the first time I felt like he was acknowledging me, for me, and not Namine. There was still a few minutes left before class started. Yes, chatting time, I thought happily. As usual he started off the conversation.

"So, how do you like your first day?" He asked.

"It's ok, it could be better," I said being subtly honest. He nodded understanding.

"I know what you mean." He seemed lost in thought for a little moment before snapping back. I smiled, he was so cute. "So how was your summer? Were you being a lazy bum?" He grinned.

"No I wasn't. It was fun; I spent most of it at the beach." I said softly remembering Sora in just his trunks diving head first into the salty ocean.

"Really?" He said curiously. "I was there too, I didn't see you there." I looked away trying to think of some pathetic excuse.

"Uh… you were there too?" I sputtered feeling my face rise in temperature. Crap! "Maybe we just missed each other or something." I finished rather lamely, but he seemed convinced enough. Now I know what you're thinking, that's total 'stalker' status, because it's not! It just happened that one day while I was strolling to the beach I caught sight of Sora and his pals hanging out at the beach. It's not like I was spying on them, I was standing next to a bush… that hid me completely. And it's not like I purposely went to the beach every day after that because he might be there, I just "happened" to want to go to the beach! Stop misunderstanding!

"Yeah, you're probably right." He agreed finally dropping the subject.

"How was yours," I asked honestly curious. I was always curious when it came to Sora. His face lit up like a little kid's.

"It was fun too, actually." He exclaimed. "Roxas and I spent most of our time at Riku's! That guy is freakin' rich!"

"Wow, he must have a nice house." I commented, taking in his excited expression, noting how adorable it looked.

"Ye-hah! You should come over some time! It's really-"He stopped, blushing. "And Namine too of course… I mean if she wants to." I felt my face fell. Crap, I thought as I tried to put a smile back on but I think it ended up looking like I had a tooth ache.

"Oh, right." I mumbled. We stopped our conversation after that because the late bell rang. So the teacher, pop bellied man, walked to the front of the class to introduce himself. That was when I tuned everything out. It was such a bad habit, and I couldn't believe I started zoning out at the start of the year.

I walked into my seventh period feeling drained already. I know I shouldn't being feeling that way since it was the first day and all, but it seriously was not starting off good. I honestly wondered how I was going to last the rest of the semester, or the year for that matter. It was official I hated first and second period, Nutrition and lunch too, but they were more bearable.

Namine was waiting patiently for my arrival, her bag in the seat next to her saving me a spot. I walked over to the seat, and she moved her bag so I could sit.

"About time," she muttered. "What took you so long?"

"Sorry, Sora needed help finding Iran." I said quickly. She twisted her eyes in confusion.

"What?"

"We had a treasure hunt worksheet," I explained briefly. "We had to find things in the textbook. And Sora needed help with his work." I felt a surge of pride running through my chest. I couldn't help showing off my skills to Sora.

"_Wow Kairi, you're really smart."He praised, watching me in amazement. I smiled, blushing deeply at his compliment._

"_Not really, I'm just observant."I muttered embarrassed. "I would use the index next time Sora."_

"_Oh right," He laughed, scratching the back of his head, while I handed his textbook back._

I tried to hide the broad smile that was begging to play on my lips, it would have been a dead give away. But I could have sworn I saw Namine give me a suspicious look.

"Oh, ha, Sora." She laughed. I laughed with her. But inside I felt irritated, god I hated the way she said his name, and how happy he got when she said it. I wish he would get just as happy when I said it. "Hey Kairi, did you get any homework from your third period?"

I shook my head. "Did you?"

"Nah, well only from biology," she grimaced. "The teacher wants our parents to sign her syllabus." It was always the same drill for almost every teacher we've had. There was always a syllabus that needed to be signed and turned in by the next day. "Boy is she weird! Be prepared tomorrow Kairi!" I had it for sixth period.

Academic Support started just like every other one I had today, teacher goes up in the front, teacher introduces themselves, teacher explains the curriculum of this class, etc. The only thing different was that the teacher wanted us to introduce each other by passing around a scrunched up ball of paper. It was a stupid exercise really, but it definitely beat writing paragraphs about yourself and reading them out to the whole class, like in English. The teacher, Mr. Coolidge ended up being really well… cool, hence the beginning of his name. He was the best teacher I had so far.

Namine and I walked to my house in silence. She started to hum her favorite song again, which started to annoy me because I really hated that song. She knew it, that's why she was wearing a small smirk. Well two can play at that game. I put the tip of one of my fingers in my mouth and chewed, biting off edge of the nail. I saw her purse her lips, and furrow her eyebrows. She absolutely hated it when I bit my nails.

"Ok! You win!" she snapped throwing her arms in the air. I smiled gloatingly. We both ended up cracking up at how stupid we were being.

"You know, sometimes I feel like you haven't grown at all." Namine laughed, pushing my shoulder.

"I'll take that as a compliment. But I'm afraid I can't say the same about you," I said putting on a fake disappointed face.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh come one! Namine! Are you trying to tell me you haven't realized that every boy at school has been struck with the deadly Namine-fever?" I asked incredulously. Her eyes widened and her pale cheeks became pink.

"Shut up, no they haven't!" she snapped suddenly very angry. I only laughed at her red face but inside I felt a pang of jealousy, knowing that Sora in fact has also been struck with Namine-fever. Damn this, I thought, making fun of Namine isn't even making me feel better. When will it be freakin' Kairi-fever? When will Sora fall for me?

Namine didn't talk to me the whole way home; she was trying to give me the silent treatment. But I knew very well that she'd forget she was mad at me and end up talking to me again. She was terrible at holding grudges, unlike me. And unlike her, I was very good at hiding my feelings.

**WAZZZAH! that's all i got for you today..I'll try to update tomorrow..so yeah _**

**thanks for reading, i really appreciate it.**


	5. Chapter 4

**Hazzahh!!! Oh gosh I'm sorry I haven't updated in a very long time**

**I just get easily distracted...lol I have now OFFICIALLY fell in love with NaminexSora,it's just so adorable and cute..lol don't get me wrong i love SoKai, and Roxiri...but *sigh* it's still cute**

**anyway back to the story, ok, well I know it's really boring right now...not much Roxiri or Sokai is happening but I promise it will happen soon!!! Once I figure out how I want to stick it in there...[lol that's what she said oh god now i feel like a perv xD]**

**lol I'm still loving the 'line' button xD  
**

**oh and I promise FIGARO will be important later on!!! *hint* he will bring roxas and kairi closer xD xD ok...that's all i'm saying lol**

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Namine and I parted ways, silently, (She was still Mad.), when we crossed the street. She walked over to her house, which was right next to mine. I walked up the pathway to the front porch of my house and paused with my hand on the front door knob. I glanced over to Namine who was doing the same thing. She stared at me, not smiling, but not frowning. I smirked before walking inside my house. She'll get over it, I thought smugly.

As soon as I walked inside, I felt something rub against my legs. I looked down and smiled at the black fur ball next to my feet.

"Hey Figaro! Oh, come on, your going to get cat hair all over me!" I laughed, looking at him as he meowed. Figaro, my black and white cat purred affectionately when I bent down to scratch the back of his ear. I threw my bag on the couch, glancing up at the clock. It was barely 4:40.

"Mom's not home yet huh?" I said to him as he meowed. My mom came out of work at five, so I had twenty minutes to myself. My dad came out later like around nine, but I barely see him because of his weird hours, only on the weekends.

I ran to the kitchen, grabbed some hot cheetos, and ran to the living room, throwing my self on the couch. I rested my feet on the coffee table (My mom would have thrown a fit.) and groped around the cushion for the remote. Failing to find it, I glared at the powerless TV, wishing I had telepathic powers to turn it on. That's when I found the remote on top of the DVD rack.

"Dang it, who puts the remote up there? Isn't that the function of a remote to wirelessly use the TV without getting up to change the channel or turning the freakin' TV on?!" I complained angrily to Figaro who meowed loudly that would have translated to 'Shut up and get it you lazy bum!'

I ended up getting the remote and resting comfortably back to my original position this time with the TV on. But before I could get into what I was watching, which was the Sims 3 commercial, something vibrated angrily in my pocket. Annoyed I pulled my phone out and flipped it open.

"Hello?" I huffed, and slapped myself inwardly.

"_Hello! Kairi!?"_

"Yes Namine?" I smiled proudly, this has got to be a new record for Namine, it was only what, like five minutes of the silent treatment.

"_Kairi, hey are you busy?"_

I looked at Figaro, who gazed up at me lazily. "No, what is it?"

"_Can I come over, I need some inspiration." _Inspiration, hah! That was just her lame excuse to come hang out. She always claims it helps her with her sketches, but I doubt it.

"Sure." I said before hanging up. In a matter of minutes the doorbell rang, which really irritated me because it was just Namine. I walked over to the door, yanked it open, and let her in. She smiled at me, her sketchbook clutched her side.

"Huh? Your mom's not home yet? It's already five." She said as she looked around and noticed she wasn't there. How she knows my mother's schedule, I don't know, maybe she was just observant.

"You're right, she'll come around soon. Anyway what kind of inspiration did you have in mind?" I asked giving her a furtive look. Namine grinned guiltily, setting her book on the couch.

"Ok, I was just bored," she admitted, perching herself on the couch next to Figaro. She scratched the top of his head, while he closed his eyes enjoying the massage.

"Wow, that's a shock," I said sarcastically. She wrinkled her nose.

"Hey now, I brought my book just in case I did get inspired, you have to give me props for that," She said with a large absurd smile.

"Yeah, yeah, ok fine."I muttered, flopping back down on the sofa. I resumed my position, flipping through channels lazily. I felt Namine's eyes on me, which made me uncomfortably awkward. So I tried flipping the channels faster, and pretended to be very interested on the channel I stopped on which was playing a documentary on Cat mating. I felt like a pervert, and a bad parent for letting my little Figaro watch this kitty porn. I finally gave in and looked at her. "What?"

"Shush!!" She muttered, jumping up from her seat and snatching her sketchbook. "I'm getting inspired!" At first I thought she was just messing with me, because well, just because. But it wasn't until I saw a very good sketch of my ugly face that I realized she was serious.

"Namine don't draw me!" I cried, but she didn't look up from her sketch. She scratched at the paper with her pencil frantically, looking like she was just making lines, but she was making a picture.

"Oh, hush!" she scolded.

"Hey," I slapped my hand on her book, making her stop and glare at me. "Why are you adding ugliness to your beautiful collection of sketches? Namine-"

"Stop being so dramatic, it's just a drawing," she laughed, moving my hand away to continue. "Besides it's not ugliness! Kairi, you are so self conscience. You're pretty."

"Pretty ugly," I muttered under my breath but she still heard. She ignored that and still continued to draw. I complained the whole time until Namine's phone rang, well more like beeped.

"Can you get that?" she asked, not even tearing her eyes away from her drawing for her phone. I sighed, grabbed her phone and looked at it.

"You have a text message."

"From who?"

"Uh…"I trailed off, opening the message. My draw dropped instantly as the name appeared in thick black bold letters. No, this couldn't be? Could my day get any worse? I desperately wished to burn his name off of her contact list.

"Kairi, who is it from?" She pressed. For a moment I couldn't speak, I literally couldn't my throat was clogged up with anger, no, jealousy is more like the word. I gulped and tried to calm myself down before I found myself yelling at her.

"So- Sora," I almost cried out. I glared at her phone. How the heck did she ever get his cell number!? I spent a year trying to figure it when she had it all along!?

"What's it say" she asked clearly not affected by the text message sender. I blinked, frustrated, and fumbled with the phone.

"He say's 'Hi Namine, how are U?'" I read aloud, feeling my heart sink as I said each word. What the heck? He just saw her today? Doesn't he ever get enough of her? He's never asked me how I've been. Heck he doesn't even text me. I scrolled down to look at his number.

_Sora: 359-1436_

I had a sudden urge to record that number on to my phone, but thought it unwise since Namine was sitting in front of me.

"You have Sora's number? How did you get his number!?" I demanded, completely forgetting to disguise the tone of my voice.

"Last, year I got for a project, I just never deleted. But it's not like I text him, he's the one that usually starts it." She said nonchalantly. I felt myself glare at her. What luck?! I was never ever a partnered up with him for anything. The one time I was partnered with him was in seventh grade for science but that was it. Ah, seventh grade, that was when Sora first transferred to our school. It was love at first sight.

"He texts- he texts you every day?" I tried my best to keep my voice even, but it was shaking. Namine seemed to notice because she looked up from her sketch.

"No, not everyday," she said slowly, studying my face. Crap, she's going to see right through me, I thought. "Are you ok Kairi, you look a little-"

"I'm fine," I lied, looking away, and putting her phone down.

"Ok," She said completely unconvinced, I could hear the doubt in her voice.

* * *

The next morning I felt an incredible pang of guilt roll over, also a twinge of fright. What if Namine discovered my real feelings because of yesterday's little fiasco? No, she couldn't have, I mean I didn't do anything suspicious, besides glaring at her phone, but that wouldn't tell her anything, right?

All my doubts seemed to clear when I saw Namine sitting on the steps in front of the school waiting for me. She looked the same as any other day, her nose in her book.

"Hey," she said quietly when I went to sit next to her.

"Hey," I replied cautiously.

"So," she said calmly, waiting for me to say something else.

"So…."I trailed off leaving a lot of emphasis in the 'o'. Her eyebrow twitched in irritation, and she pursed her lips. I could tell she was on the verge of blowing up, which was really rare when it came to Namine.

She sighed. "Ok, let's cut the crap, Kairi, what happened yesterday?"

"What do you mean?" I asked

"You know what I mean! Why did you act all weirded out?" she pestered, setting her sketchbook down rather harshly. I gulped, trying to think of something.

"I don't know what you mean, I wasn't acting 'weirded out'," I said making quotation marks with my fingers around the last two words.

"Is it because of Sora?" She asked now really annoyed. Crap, I thought.

"Wha-"I started.

"-Are you… mad because of it?"

Serious crap!!!! What the heck? This is so not happening.

"Why would I be mad, honestly Namine you make no sense," I lied as convincingly as I possibly could. "I was just… um surprised that he even had a cell phone, y'know how clumsy he is! I'm shocked his mom would even let him have one." I laughed warmly trying to make it sound real. Namine looked at me strangely, before joining in my completely FAKE laughter.

"I guess your right, I'm sorry Kairi," she apologized.

"Yeah, no problem," I said in a relief. Oh, wow, that was actually a close one. I praised my quick thinking briefly before turning my attention back to Namine, who started to pack up.

"We should probably head out, the bell's going to r-"And boom, the bell rang at the exact moment she said that. "Oh well...That."

* * *

I trudged into my homeroom class, feeling incredibly happy. I had a right to be happy didn't I? I mean, there I was almost admitting my feelings, but now, I'm completely safe. Roxas noticed my cheery mood, scowling at me when I took my seat.

"What are you so happy about?" He asked. I turned my head to face him and smiled warmly. His icy blue eyes widened with shock, and he almost fell out of his seat.

"Oh nothing," I said.

"Whatever," he turned away, but I couldn't help but notice his expectant eyes on me. I ignored.

Fourth period wasn't as bad as I thought it would have been. The P.E clothes didn't fit big in the wrong places, it actually felt comfortable. They were knee high black shorts and a white shirt which I rolled up, because that unfortunately was still too long. I hoped I looked as good as I felt.

Roxas didn't look bad in his uniform, in fact he looked rather… you know, I'm just not going to finish that. We both went to sit on the bleachers in the gym with the rest of the class. The coach blew her whistle shushing the whole classes little babble.

"Ok, class, as you all know this is obviously Phys. Ed, so I'm expecting certain things from you. The first is that everyday you must be in your uniform, if you fail to wear it, there will be consequences…" Blah blah blah, they were pretty much the same rules as the ones from eighth grade.

The sport we were starting to play was hockey, oh joy. The last time I played hockey for P.E, I got whacked with the stick when someone did the stupid thing of mistakening my leg for the ball. Who does that?! To ensure that that never happened to anyone, like me, the coach explained the rules.

NO THROWING THE HOCKEY STICK

NO RAISING THE STICK ABOVE YOUR HEAD

NO SWINGING THE STICK LIKE A SWORD

NO HOCKEY STICK FIGHTS

NO PURPOSELY HITTING PEOPLE (ok that one was really stupid)

Anyway, the teacher told us to pair up and practice passing the ball to each other. I looked around the class; the only person I knew was Roxas. But I couldn't bring myself to ask him. A few moments passed before he tapped my shoulder.

"Hey, go grab a ball," Roxas muttered, a hockey stick in his hand. Ok, so he didn't directly tell me we were partners, but who gives?

"O-ok," I stuttered, running off to go grab it, and grab a stick too. Ok, that sounded weird, I meant hockey stick, you perverts. I felt the stick tremble in my fingers, remembering the last time I'd played, praying that it wouldn't happen again. Roxas waited there impatiently, scowling.

For about twenty minutes we passed the ball to each other, but I kept missing it, making him groan in annoyance every time. It was really starting to irritate me. Every time he hit it to me, the stupid ball would either bounce over the stick, or completely deflect it. There was obviously something wrong with the hockey stick and not me…..

"You know, you really suck?" He said bluntly, whacking the ball in my direction. I tried to stop it but it kept rolling around me. Ugh, stupid hockey.

"And you know, you're a real jerk, "I blurted out suddenly. Uh-oh, what the heck did I just say? I clasped my hand over my mouth, and stared at him wide eyed, wishing I could take back what just escaped my lips. I cannot believe I just said that out loud!

He glared at me coldly; his eyes were piercing and almost seemed as if they could stab me. I didn't know what to do, my mind froze up entirely.

"I'm- I'm sorry," I said, but he ignored. Roxas threw his stick on the ground and walked off, leaving me there gaping after him. He shoved a kid out of his way, when they were in his way. What was his problem?

For the rest of the class time, Roxas and I were running laps, because apparently waiting for your partner to come back after being really angry, is not participating. I blame Roxas. And he also broke a rule.

It was irritating to run and also embarrassing because of watching eyes, but what was more irritating was having Roxas pass me by every time, he was probably like ten laps ahead of me. It made me look like one of those girly girls who never want to run, but I can't help it if I'm such a terrible runner and can only keep a pace for like 3 laps!! I think… I'm starting to hate P.E.

* * *

**okely dokely, that's it for today..or will it be..ok I swear that I won't take as long as a gap to update like b4 for the next chappie...I'm sorry I kinda was distracted..lol i already said that**

**I also had writer's block...**

**anyway ...reviews would be nice..actually they would be awesome!!! lol  
**


	6. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER:**

**Hey guys!! OMG I AM SO INCREDIBLY SORRY!!I know I swore I'd update soon, and then I don't in like over a month!!! I feel really really bad! I'm serious, and now I can't update as much because I have tons of Homework!! grr school sucks, there's so much work to do in tenth grade!!! UGH**

**anyway after all ur patient waiting i finally had the decency to upload _**

**So yup it's still the same day so don't get confused, also I'm sorry if I'm annoying you with the constant Namine/Kairi moments, but I need to get it in there, it's really important for u guys to know that they r really REALLY good friends. Okely dokely!? xD ok well enough of this i'm just babbling, I present to u ch. 5..I think, lol i already lost count.**

**ALSO I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IN THIS STORY THEY ARE COMPLETELY FAN MADE ..sorry if i get tifa's last name wrong i always forget last names :/  
**

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* * *

  
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No scratch that, I think I'm starting to hate Chinese. First of all, what kind of high school offers Chinese as a class, I mean come one? What happened to French or Spanish classes? Anyway the 'regular requirements were to take two years of a foreign language, here, all four years were mandatory. Pretty lame right? So, back to the point, Chinese is by far the most uncomfortable class I had so far. Sitting next to Roxas for almost two hours was torture, at least in the gym I could move away from him. Why the hell does he want to sit next to me anyway!? Was he trying to talk, or apologize to me about what happened in the gym?

My thoughts and suspicions immediately washed away once the class had actually started. He didn't even look as if he were attempting to apologize, let alone say one word. My attention immediately focused when I caught sight of the teacher.

A very tiny Asian woman walked to the front of the class, well more like hopped. She was so tiny it was almost cute, like a little girl. Heck, she didn't look a day over twenty five.

"Hello!" she said brightly, waving her hand awkwardly to the class. "Or, Ni hao, I should say! I am Miss Chang."

Nobody spoke.

"Um, well…" she started her face turning red. Oh boy, this looks like a super fun class already, I thought. I was being sarcastic…obviously. It took Ms. Cutie-pie a while to remember what she was going to say next without stuttering. I wondered how she coped with teaching her previous classes.

The teacher went around the class room asking us for our names, so she could translate them into Chinese the next time we met. I hoped mine didn't sound too weird or something that sounded perverted. Ok, I really don't know where I came up with that one. After that she scurried to her desk to pick something up and ran to the front of the class again, holding up some large colored cards that looked a lot like over sized flash cards.

She held a red one up, turned it over to reveal, something in Chinese and English letters above them. I squinted reading them.

"N-ni hao?" I muttered under my breath reading the letters. What in the world? "What's that supposed to mean?"

"She said that in the beginning of the class, if you don't remember," Roxas said suddenly. I gasped, making everyone turn away from the teacher to look at me. I sunk down in my chair smiling shyly. Eventually their eyes focused back on Ms Chang who was trying desperately to hold our attentions.

"It means hello," Roxas spoke again, this time I was prepared for it. What?

"H-how do you-" I started.

"Now class, Ni hao means hello!" Her voice rang loudly.

"Oh…right," I mumbled awkwardly looking down at my glossy desk, it was one of those shiny white marble desks that no matter what the room temperature was, remained incredibly cold. I remembered in middle school our teachers made us move the old desks out and replace them with these new and improved ones. I banged my finger against the door frame trying to carry it, but I ended up dropping it, getting me a week's worth of detention. Stupid desks. My mind shifted from the desk to the blonde boy sitting next to me. Stupid Roxas, oh now all of a sudden he's talking to me? What the crap!?

He didn't talk to me the rest of the period, I didn't either. Instead I tried talking to this brunette named Olette, sitting on the other side of me. It was fun while it lasted, well fun ignoring Roxas. But occasionally she would look over my shoulder, a look of fear on her face. I suspected it was Roxas with his signature glare. So that didn't work out for long.

* * *

Lunch was absolutely dreadful. Namine was talking to Sora and constantly tried to include me in their conversations, which I happily avoided. Ugh, since when did Sora and his gang hang out with us, oh wait, since he's liked Namine! Duh! But it's not like I completely hated it, except for the whole 'flirting with Namine' fact, it gave me an innocent reason to stare at Sora without looking like an obsessive fan girl freak.

"So while me and Riku were behind Roxas, we pushed him in the pool, "Sora was explaining some of the events that happened at Riku's wealthy house. I looked around to see their expressions, Namine was laughing, Sora was grinning proudly with his chest poking out slightly, Riku cracked a grin, and Roxas remained silent, with a rather disgruntled expression on his face. I didn't know if it was because of the story, or me. It couldn't have been me, I mean I didn't do anything wrong!

"Was that true?" Namine asked Roxas.

"Yeah," he grunted, looking down at this food. That's when I noticed that there wasn't any food there. His tray was completely empty. He couldn't have eaten it in like two minutes, lunch started two minutes ago. Well, then again, he was a boy. I would have asked him where his food was but the intense glaring I received from him today shut me up well.

"Come now, Roxas, no need to be rude," Riku scolded, while Sora agreed grabbing him in a headlock.

"Yeah, where are your manners?" Sora asked, with a struggling Roxas, trying to pull his arms off of his head. He let go of Roxas after he turned red in the face, I couldn't help but let a small giggle escape my lips. He looked up angrily, glaring at me even fiercer than he ever did. I flinched. Sora and the others didn't notice, they went back to their own conversation again, leaving Roxas and I, in an awkward silence. I tried to think of something to say, but my mind went all fuzzy.

"Hey," I raised my head up in surprise to see Roxas' face crunched up, as if he were trying to struggle to say something. "Um, listen… "

"Yes?" I responded all too eagerly, honestly curious.

"About… um-"he started, but the bell rang suddenly, making us both jump. "Ugh, whatever." He leapt to his feet, grabbed his empty food tray and bolted for his next class. I sat there gaping at him, still trying to process what happened.

* * *

I walked into my Biology class feeling really weird. I was still trying to figure out what Roxas had struggled so difficultly to say. It couldn't have been an apology, could it? I glanced over at Roxas who was seated next to Sora, he was wearing his usual hard expression but I could have sworn I saw something flicker in his cold eyes when his met mine. I looked away quickly, pretending to be distracted by pulling out my binder from my backpack.

The class bubble and chatting diminished as soon as the tardy bell rang. The teacher strode up to the front of the class. My first impression of her was 'Wow she's gorgeous!' , not that I'm lesbian or anything, but she really was. I could tell you all the guys in the classroom were goggling at her. I think even Roxas managed to sneak a few glances at her.

"My name is Ms. Lockhart; you'll address me, as… "She trailed off staring at all of us, with a rather bored expression. " Ms. Lockhart."

Sora stifled a chuckle, causing Ms. Lockhart to glare at him with her dull brown eyes. She stared at him for a long time, until he uncomfortably turned pale and looked away. I gave a small smile in his direction.

"As I was saying," she continued turning her attention back to the class. "My name is Ms. Lockhart and this is your new Biology class, so get used to it. Now before you all get too cozy and comfortable, I want everyone to stand up and go to the back of the room. It's seating chart time."

No one dared groan or complain, still fearing the weird vibe she was giving off. I soon realized that her bored expression she had plastered on her face was permanent. She pulled off the roster from her desk, but put it back down and began pointing at people instead of calling their names.

After Sora was seated next a boy named Hayner, the teacher pointed her finger at me.

"Oi, you Red," I cringed. "Go sit there," she motioned to the seat in the back right behind Sora. I tried to repress a smile as I walked cheerfully to my seat, ignoring the fact that my new Bio teacher just gave me a weird nickname. But my 'joy' immediately deflated when she told Roxas to sit next to me. I couldn't help but notice him pull his lips slightly into a smile, no more like a smirk. No, maybe it was just my imagination.

Ms. Lockhart assigned the last seats to a boy named Pence and Seifer, who grudgingly sat next to each other.

The whole period went on with pretty much the same drill as the first day, introduce ourselves, etc. (She gave us a syllabus explaining all the class expectations, grading policy, and consequences, except hers was, I'll admit, more demanding than any of the other teachers.) But it wasn't as comforting as the first, one the teacher was a complete freaking weirdo, seriously she reminded me of some kind of emotionless robot, and two Roxas was silent as usual, making the room even more uncomfortable than the norm.

I couldn't help but feel that every moment the teacher was explaining something; Roxas was trying to speak to me. But I ignored, refusing to look at him.

Serves him right.

The dismissal bell rang loudly, but Ms. Lockhart, held us back.

"Alright, class, remember… "She said, moving her long dark curtain of hair behind her shoulders. " You. Are. Alive. Remember that. And always strive to do your own personal best." I stared at her strangely. Ok, this year is going to be absolutely different than eighth grade, I mused.

"That is all," she muttered dismissing the class. Roxas jumped from his seat while I slowly packed my things. I swung my bag over my shoulder, knocking his bag off of his shoulder, and spilling all of its contents. My eyes widened with fear. Crap! What the crap! What did I just do!? Roxas glared, and bent down to pick up all of his fallen possessions. I gazed at him for at least a minute before realizing what happened.

"I'm sorr-"I began desperately, squatting down to help him. My hands brushed against his when we both picked up the same book.

"Its fine," he snarled, yanking it out of my grasp. His face was slightly red and disheveled as he straightened off, and stormed out of the class room, leaving me there alone with Ms. Robot.

I stood up and stared at the door he aggressively walked out of.

"What… the crap?" I muttered, forgetting I was in the presence of the teacher.

"Nice going Cherry," she muttered tonelessly, but I could have sworn I caught her smirking when she turned to erase the white board.

* * *

I was still thinking about Roxas in seventh period, I couldn't get it out of my head.

"_It's fine," he snarled, yanking it out of my grasp._ I really didn't understand where Roxas' attitude came from; I mean he was fine the first day of school.

"Are you okay Kairi?" Namine asked worriedly. I was still in shock at what happened during bio, I didn't notice Namine waving her hand in front of my face, impatiently waiting for my response.

"Huh? Oh yeah," I muttered reassuring, but she wasn't convinced.

"Kairi, I'm not your best friend for nothing_, really_ what's wrong?" she pressed. I sighed in defeat.

"Ok, ok," I said, putting her hand down away from my face. "Well, I've been getting this feeling that, well, Roxas doesn't like me."

"Do you want him to like you?" She said, a small smile playing on her lips. Great, leave it to Namine to get the wrong idea.

"That's not what I meant," I said rolling my eyes. "I'm saying that I don't think he likes me as… a person."

"That's nonsense, I'm sure he likes you!" She laughed, nudging my arm.

"No, I don't think so," I said stubbornly.

"He's just really quiet," she countered. "If you talked to him more, I'm sure you guys will be really good friends."

"That's the thing, every time I attempt to talk to him, I freeze up! He makes me nervous because he's like a freakin' mute," I said furiously. Namine laughed.

"It's not his fault if he's socially deprived," She tried to reason. "Besides, you guys might become closer than you think. Who knows?"

I snorted. "I'm probably bound to have more luck befriending a rock than him," I said sarcastically.

"Oh will you quite it with that pessimistic attitude!?"

"Fine, only if we drop this subject."

"What? Why, it was getting so good too," Namine joked.

"This discussion is over." I said with a tone of finality. Namine didn't press on the subject again after that. She consumed herself the rest of the period by sketching around the margins of her homework. I smiled as I recognized two of the figures as Namine and I. She never changes, I thought.

"_What's that supposed to be?" I asked curiously, looking over the small blonde's shoulder._

"_That's me and you silly" she laughed, clutching the yellow crayon in her left hand. I poked my head closer to the drawing._

"_Why do I have purple hair?" I questioned._

"_Oh, I didn't have a red crayon," she said seriously._

"_I have red!" I exclaimed, digging in my pocket for my crayon box. I thrust the crayon box in her hands. "Here you can have it; I'm not good at coloring." I admitted sheepishly. Namine's blue eyes lit up with joy, as she held on to the Crayola box tightly, pulling out the fresh new crayons._

"_T-thank you Kairi!" she stuttered._

"_No problem, but," I paused switching my gaze back to the drawing. "Can I have the picture when you're done?"_

"_Deal," she agreed. And then we shook hands on it._

I smiled to myself, watching her recreate a replica of that old drawing from Pre School. That's my Namine.

**DUN DUN DUH!!!!!!! XD lol until next time**


	7. Chapter 6

**Hey Guys!!! **

**Yay!! I finally updated again xD! wow this has got to be like my longest chapter, I'm sorry if it's too much i just felt that it needed to all be together. Ok well this chapter gets a bit interesting on the Roxiri side lol. There are a little more flash backs in this one so yeah it's the italicized words. Oh and sorry about all the lines...lol I can't resist I love the line button!! lol**

**Um what else ..oh I kind of skipped all the way to lunch and Kairi's sixth period, I didn't really want to go through the whole day, it might have been boring..lol anyway yeah I felt bad about not updating in a while so wa laah! It's a present for all of my reviewers! xD**

**I'd really like to thank:**

**AngelJeanne and Angel heart-chan for reviewing ALL of the chapters, it must have been freakin' annoying xD but it really made me happy so thanks really!!!**

**So enough of me talking, I'm just babbling lol enjoy!  
**

* * *

A few weeks have passed and Roxas and I still haven't had a normal conversation, not that we've ever had a 'normal' conversation before. But it was more uncomfortable than usual. No one else noticed his extremely silent cold behavior, not even his supposed 'best friends'. Is he still mad? It can't be! No one can hold a grudge for that long. No, this is just how he is, a silent mute, he was always like this right?

* * *

"_Look that's the new transfer kid," Namine said in a hushed voice when we saw the blonde boy sit near the back of the class. I glanced briefly at him._

"_I heard he was from Twilight Middle School," I murmured, watching him shift uncomfortably in his seat._

"_Wow, really?" Namine's eyes lit up. She'd always wanted to go visit the big city of Twilight Town. "Do you suppose he still lives there?"_

"_Uh… no!" I said incredulous. "Namine that's like on the other side of town, it's too far!"_

"_You're right," she agreed._

* * *

"_It looks like we have a new student joining us class," the teacher said out loud grinning at the blonde, who looked as though he were wishing he could melt away from his audience. "Why don't you introduce yourself to us?"_

_The blonde's eyebrows furrowed in annoyance, as he got up from his seat._

"_What's your name?" The teacher encouraged._

"_Roxas," he mumbled, looking away from the teacher's face._

"_Well Mr. Roxas, we're glad you're here to join us!" the teacher replied happily, motioning for him to sit down. I glanced back at him, he was trying to hide the blush from his face at all the attention._

"_He's kind of cute." Namine whispered behind me so suddenly that I almost jumped._

_Not as much as Sora, I thought. "Oh, yeah I guess," I muttered. He lifted his head up to look in our direction. Our eyes met. He had blue eyes, just like Sora's._

_I flashed him a friendly smile, making his eyes bulge out and his jaw drop. He turned away, frowning._

_

* * *

  
_

"_Hey guys!" Sora exclaimed waving towards us. Two figures followed him, as he walked in our direction. I immediately recognized the first figure as Riku once I saw his silver hair. The second took me a little time to realize that it was Roxas._

"_Did you guys meet our new best buddy?" He asked wearing a childish grin, pulling Roxas' arm. Namine shook his hand and I tried to reciprocate but he pulled his hand away just in time._

"_I'm Roxas," he murmured in the same tone he used during class. _

"_I'm Kairi," I said, wearing the same friendly smile. He pursed his lips and looked away again._

Roxas was probably anti social or something. Maybe Namine was right, it wasn't his fault he was socially deprived. Or he could just freakin' hate me.

* * *

I walked into my homeroom class, and spotted Roxas, waxing the wheels on his skateboard. The teacher was glaring at him, as he rested the board on his desk. I sat down in my seat next to him, and watched as he determinedly prepped his board nice and neat. It was amazing how he had so much skill with a skateboard and so little with socializing. Heck, I'm not even that good at socializing. Maybe, he was just shy. That was my conclusion.

There had to be some way to get him to open up, so I had took it upon me to get him out of his shell and start talking.

"Hi," I said shyly. He nodded his head in acknowledgement, his eyes never leaving his skateboard.

I bit my lip, trying to think of something to say. "So," I started, feeling completely stupid. "Are you good at skateboarding?"

"I don't know," he murmured.

"Come on now, you have to be-"

"I don't know!" he snapped, irritated now. I flinched. It was quiet for a few moments before I began again.

"Is it hard?" I questioned.

"No,"

"How long have you been doing it?" I asked, desperately trying to start a conversation.

"Years," He sniffed.

"Oh," I said, looking away. I glanced back at him suddenly having an idea. "Do you think it's possible for someone like me to learn?"

"I," he paused, lifting his head up slightly. "I don't know, maybe."

"Can you teach me?" I pressed, letting the excitement hit my voice. Roxas stared at me wide eyed like I had just lost my mind. Ok, maybe this wasn't a good idea after all. "I-I mean, you don't have to if you…." I trailed off as I noticed him opening his mouth to speak. He had stopped what he was doing all together.

"I-"He began, but the loud speaker interrupted him.

"_Will Roxas please report to the principle's office!!!!?"_

Roxas jumped to his feet and ran off, leaving his things behind. What an idiot, I thought, but smacked myself inwardly. That's mean.

But I still couldn't believe he would leave his skateboard too. I eyed it curiously. He wouldn't get mad if I just… touched it right? My lips curved mischievously, as my arm extended towards the board on desk. I let my fingers brush the hard rough surface that felt like sand paper. I rocked the board back and forth hearing the freshly waxed wheels rub against the desk. But all of a sudden the dismissal bell rang making me jump in shock. Reflexively I pushed my arms out as well, sending the skateboard flying off the desk and hit the wall. It flipped over and landed on its back, the wheels still spinning. I leapt from my seat looking frantically hoping Roxas didn't see that.

"Crap, crap crap!!" I shrieked, picking up the skateboard and putting it back on the desk, but it kept rolling off because my hands were shaking. "Dammit, stay put!!"

He'd kill me; I knew that for sure, that board looked new. I grabbed my bag and ran for it. I couldn't be seen with his banged board! I'll just play it cool, he won't know anything!

* * *

Avoiding Roxas seemed much more difficult than I thought it would be. Where ever I went he always seemed to pop up. I had ultimately given up trying to hide being convinced that he didn't suspect anything. But he was grumpier than usual, so he did notice the skateboard.

It was lunch already, and Namine was in the art room so it just left me, Olette, Hayner and Pence alone at the table. They had started hanging out with us after the first week of school. I had assumed Sora and his gang was with Namine, but I was proven wrong when I saw the three of them make their way to our table. Sora looked deep in thought, Riku amused, and Roxas frustrated.

He was murmuring to Sora and Riku probably about his board. Sora looked over to me and I felt my face rise up in temperature. I averted my gaze, trying to look down at my food.

"Just ask her," I heard Sora's voice say impatiently.

"No!" Roxas' voice snapped.

"Ugh," Sora sighed. "Fine if you're not going to do it I will."

"Wait no! Sora!"

I lifted my head to see Sora sitting in the chair in front of me; he pulled Roxas into the seat next to him.

"Hey Kairi," Sora said, wearing a smile. I felt my heart flutter slightly; I couldn't help but smile back.

"Hi," I greeted, and then I turned to Roxas who refused to look at me. "Hi Roxas."

"Hn," he mumbled. Sora glared at him briefly, before switching his gaze back to me.

"Well anyway, we wanted to ask you something." He said.

"Ask away," I encouraged, leaning closer on the table, showing that I was paying attention. My lips curved into a small smile as he scratched his head nervously. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Roxas staring at me wide eyed. His blue eyes glanced from me to Sora as his mouth slowly dropped. Some kind of emotion flickered in his eyes; it was almost like realization, like a light bulb went on in his head. I would have turned to give him a questioning glare, but Sora's voice held my attention.

"Ok, so I wanted to ask if you know anything about Roxas' board." Sora said. My face instantly paled. Crap!!

"Um, no sorry," I lied. Sora sighed sadly but Roxas remained frozen the same look on his face. What the heck was wrong with him?

"Oh ok, no problem then," He replied flashing another smile at me. My head spun and my stomach over flowed with butterflies.

The bell rang loudly and Sora and his gang went off to their next class. Well Sora and Roxas went to biology. I packed my things quickly and walked with Olette, Hayner and Pence to bio as well.

* * *

"Alright class," Ms. Lockhart aka Ms Robotic said. "Today we're going to be using light microscopes. These things cost a lot of money so if you break them I'll personally make sure you pay and I don't mean money." I flinched, wondering what she meant. I looked over to the bulky white microscopes uneasily; I wasn't very good with taking care of my possessions. I was lucky I still had my phone in one piece.

I looked over at Roxas, who was glaring back at me coldly. I shivered. Crap! What the crap did I do this time, I mean besides screw up his skateboard.

"Since there aren't enough microscopes for all of you, you will be in groups of four, " she continued, grabbing a microscope and setting it on our table.

I ended up being paired up with Hayner, Olette and freakin' Roxas! Why, could this day get any worse? It has to get better; I mean what could possibly happen now. Oh, I was wrong terribly wrong.

Once we were well into our groups, it started to get uncomfortable. Olette insisted that she and Hayner look through the microscope first while Roxas and I answered the questions. I think she was just scared of him. Thanks a lot Olette, I thought miserably.

I glanced at Roxas who was still glaring at me, not even looking away when our eyes met. Ok, something was up with him. I opened my mouth to speak, but closed it immediately, looking back down at the questions in front of me. Just ignore him Kairi, think of Sora, Sora! I thought angrily. Sora, that's right! I looked over to his group; he was leaning against his hand staring up at the clock. Poor him, he must be bored out of his mind. My cheeks burned shyly when he caught my eye and grinned brightly, waving. I smiled back shyly. This was just perfect, no Namine to distract him, just me. I was just about to have my usual crazy fantasies of him, when I suddenly felt a hand clench on to my arm tightly, and pull me away. It took me a moment to realize it was Roxas who was steering me off to the corner.

"Ow, that hurts!" I whispered furiously afraid the teacher would look at our group. Roxas snapped back an apology that made me flinch. Gosh he was so cold. I looked over at Hayner and Olette; they didn't even notice Roxas dragging me away from the table.

Once we were out of ear shot, he spun around to face me; his eyes were as icy hard as ever. I had a hard time staring back at them without feeling guilty, but I had nothing to feel guilty about right? He glowered at me, making me gulp nervously. What was his problem?

"Um, do you mind explain-"I started.

"Don't act dumb," He cut me off, dropping his arm to his side. I glanced at my arm and it was red. "I'm sorry about that too." He pointed to my arm before returning to his cold disposition.

"Ok, but I don't know what you-"

"I know your little secret." He muttered coldly. I stared at him wide eyed; the fear was obvious in them. What secret is he talking about?

"What?" I stuttered, all the possible secrets I kept ran through my mind. What if he knew about my crush on Sora or that I lost Namine's favorite sketchbook on the train over the summer? Or worse, finding out that it was really me that accidently chipped the front end of his skate board today in class? I was scared to admit that it was me, fearing what he would do if he found out. I felt the color drain from my face, hoping that the last one, or the first one weren't correct. Oh god, I hoped none of them were right! He stared at me intently waiting for my response, confession was more like it.

"Roxas I don't understand what you mean!" I cried, feeling my lips tremble with fear. He was freakin' scary! I felt intimidated and he barely even said anything.

"You know," he pressed, narrowing his eyes with annoyance. My pulse raced as I tried to think of what he was talking about it. OH, god he knows, he knows!! I suddenly started to feel my forehead break out in cold sweat of guilt. God damn my conscience!!

"Ok Ok! It did it! I chipped your board in homeroom when you were gone!!"I blurted out feeling my cheeks rise in temperature. I peeked at his expression, he was completely flabbergasted. He opened his mouth to speak but I interrupted. "I'm sorry!! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to! I just, I don't know!!"

"You chipped my skateboard?" He questioned his tone icy. Crap, I thought. Nice one Kairi! You just screwed yourself over.

"Um…no."I lied pathetically but he did not look convinced. He seemed to have washed away the skate board because his expression returned to the one before.

"That's not what I'm talking about."He snapped. Oh, was the only thing that seemed to have escaped my lips. He rolled his eyes. "Look, I'll just get to the point instead of messing with your head; I might damage your brain cells." I glared at this. "I know that you like Sora-"

I jumped up and clamped my hand over his lips. Then I hastily looked over the room, everyone was busy working on their microscopes. I sighed in relief, good no one heard. My attention shifted to Roxas whose mouth was still covered by my hand. He was staring at me in disbelief and shock at my unexpected behavior. It took me a moment to process what he had said.

"_I know that you like Sora" _My mind was spinning crazily. This could not be happening. NO one is supposed to know about my feelings for Sora; I made sure I showed no signs. How did this weirdo mute, figure out? How!? I felt like yelling at him right then and there but I quickly remembered we were in a classroom and in Ms. Robotics classroom too.

"Who told you?" I hissed, removing my hand. He smirked smugly. God I hate that smirk, I would totally smack it off his face if I weren't so embarrassed.

"No one, "He said simply. I hit my self on the forehead, what a stupid question. Of course no one told him because I never told anyone.

"Right," I muttered to myself. But then the horror struck to me. He knows. "D-don't tell, don't tell anyone, especially not him." I looked over at Sora who was smiling into the microscope. Roxas glowered at me icily. I flinched.

He stared at me for a long time, making me uncomfortable. I was confused and scared at his answer. But he never said anything.

"You two over there in the corner, do something!" The teacher's robotic voice suddenly rang in our ears. He dropped his gaze and looked over at the teacher, I followed suit. The whole class then looked at us curiously. Crap, I blushed lightly, going over to sit next to Olette. Stupid, Roxas.

Ms Lockhart then told us that if we spoke we would get detention. Isn't that just the cherry on top? Stupid Roxas.

He sat in the seat next to me, ripped out a piece of paper from his spiral and scribbled. He thrust paper at me, looking away. I looked down at the paper.

'_I won't tell' _

I pursed my lips, before writing a response.

'_Thanks.'_ I passed it back to him and watched him read, furrowing his eyebrows.

'_Don't thank me; I'm not doing it for you'_

I looked at him, he was staring back, but there was something different about his eyes, they were soft, like they had melted from their usual hard state.

'_Then, who are you doing it for?' _I pushed the note back to him. He grabbed it and read. He stayed there for a while, debating whether to put an answer or not. He wrote, stopped, erased, and wrote again. I stared at him puzzled.

'_No one.' _Was written in smudged pencil writing.

"What?" I mouthed the words, but he ignored me.

After class I pulled Roxas aside and interrogated him.

"What did you mean back there in the class?" I asked fiercely, demanding to know the answer. He bit his lip, looking down at his shoes.

"I'm not doing it for anyone." He muttered. I stared at him incredulously, what does that even mean?

"What does that even mean?" I spoke out my thoughts.

"It doesn't mean anything to me, so why should I poke my nose into other people's business." He snapped.

"Well… I guess that makes sense, if you put it that way, thanks anyway though" I finally said. He looked at me warily, before sighing. The awkward angry tension was released. "I can't bear for anyone to know, it's so embarrassing." I laughed uneasily. But he didn't smile, he was glaring, that cold stare that always made me shiver. Great, I said inwardly.

"**It's just a crush**, Kairi. You'll get over it!" He snapped. Roxas turned and walked away briskly, or more like stomped away. I stared after him, feeling my throat throb painfully. The thought of even getting over this supposed crush literally crushed me! I couldn't believe he said that. What a jerk!

* * *

I didn't talk to him at all the next day, not like I did before, but I at least acknowledged his presence before. He didn't seem to want to talk to me either. But he did act more coldly towards me. Even other people noticed our upset behaviors.

"Did something happen between you and Roxas?" Namine asked during seventh period. She had her sketchbook propped open on the table, with her pencil in her hands.

"No," I muttered angrily, trying to focus on the book I was reading. But I felt her eyes on me, they made me uncomfortable and I felt for the first time she could see past my fake charade.

"Are you sure? You guys have been acting," she paused trying to find the right words to describe our behavior "awfully distant and cold to each other."

"Namine," I sighed frustrated. "We always act like that, well at least he does. So could we just drop this already?" She nodded, drawing her attention back to her sketch. I glanced down at her book; she was drawing a sketch of me reading my book. I felt my face heat up in embarrassment.

"Namine, I thought I already told you not to draw me anymore!" I muttered, trying not to look at the ugly beast on her page. She laughed softly.

"And I already told you that I was still going to do it." She said airily. I made a face.

"Why? I'm not pretty for to draw me, you know" I joked, this time she made a face.

"Yes you are!" she said in a duh-tone.

"Whatever, then," I groaned, glancing at her sketch."Why don't you draw someone else?" There was a pleading tone in my voice which made her giggle.

"Relax Kairi; it's not the end of the world." She laughed. "I enjoy drawing you. You're so complex, I mean, I could tell there's a lot of emotion behind your expressions."

"Really?" I asked suddenly nervous. Great way to hide your emotions Kairi, I thought.

"Yeah, sometimes I use the drawings to figure you out," Namine laughed at the idea. "You're so hard to read, and sometimes I feel like you say something but your face tells a different story," she shrugged her shoulders," but maybe that's just me."

"Maybe," I nodded looking away, feeling the guilt drown me. Namine suspects.

**Muahahahaha until next time!! xD I'd appreciate reviews! lol I'll give you a cookie, a SUGAR cookie!!! *those are my fav***


	8. Chapter 7

**Hey guys!!! Yay I updated!! xD Um.. what to say about this..hmm, Idk, I'm not going to make my disclaimer super long, I don't have time, I'm going to a party in a few hours..so I have to get ready...so sorry lol xD**

**Um, well, yeah xD please comment...please..I'll love u forever lol **

**I DON'T OWN ANY OF THE KINGDOM HEARTS CHARACTERS SO DON'T SUE K?**

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The next few days were rather quiet. I kept up with the silent treatment, refusing to lose to Roxas. He seemed angrier and meaner than usual. For example during lunch yesterday I grabbed my lunch and sat next to him accidently. I didn't want to sit next to Namine; she was too busy listening to Sora. As soon as I sat down, Roxas leapt from his seat, empty tray in his hand and moved over to the next seat, as if I had the black plague or something. What a jerk!

Namine no longer bugged about the subject, she knew I was really angry, it was just Sora and Riku who kept pestering, especially during passing periods.

"Hey Kairi, why'd you ruffle up Roxas' feathers?" Riku laughed. I glared at him angrily.

"I didn't do anything!" I yelled.

"Sure you didn't, he's been acting like a stick in the mud all week." He said, laughing even harder. I really didn't see what was funny with the matter. If there was something supposedly upsetting my best friend I'd confront them, not innocent bystanders.

"I honestly don't know what is wrong with him." I muttered truthfully.

"Alright alright whatever you say, Kairi." Riku chuckled walking into a classroom. I huffed annoyingly before stalking off to my next class. Geography.

There was only one thing I looked foreword to in that class, and it definitely wasn't the teacher. Sora was already sitting in his seat folding up a paper.

"Hey," I greeted, taking a seat next to him.

"Hey Kairi," he smiled, dropping his folded paper to look at me. There was worry filled in his blue eyes. I tried to ignore it.

"Did you do the homework?" I asked nonchalantly, pulling out my notebook and a pen.

"No, it was too hard," he admitted. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Sora, it was just absolute locations!"

"Yeah, but they involve numbers, you know I'm no good at math." He complained. There was an edge to his voice that instantly told me something was wrong with him. No matter how hard he tried to hide it by acting normal, I could still sense it.

He sighed, and looked down at his paper, which I soon realized was a paper airplane.

"Is something wrong?" I questioned. His eyes tore away from the plane to look back at mine.

"Sort of," he said.

"What is it?" I asked curiously.

"It has to do with Roxas." Sora said cautiously, eyeing my reaction. I groaned and rolled my eyes. This was really getting irritating.

"Oh god," I muttered. "Why does everyone think I did something?"

"Look, I know already," He said quickly. "You must be annoyed with this. But, I heard him mention your name when I tried to ask him what was wrong. He won't talk to me or Riku. I don't know if I'm right, but it seems as if he were mad at me or something? Did he say anything to you last week about me?"

"_It's just a crush, Kairi. You'll get over it!"_

I blinked, barely realizing Sora was still talking to me. Was Roxas mad at Sora or… me? But honestly what the hell is wrong with that boy?!

"Kairi?"

"Huh?" I looked at Sora, who was staring back.

"Did Roxas mention me at all the last time you guy's talked?"

I think my face paled. "Um, no… "I lied.

Sora's eyebrows furrowed. "Oh ok." He paused looking as if he were going to end the conversation, but he opened his mouth up to speak again. "Hey, can I ask you for a favor?"

"Sure," I said excitedly. I probably looked stupid. Ugh.

"Can you… um, call Roxas when you have time?" He asked. Oh crap, I shouldn't have agreed to damn quickly!

"Wait what? I-I can't do that-" I protested but he interrupted.

"Of course you can! "He grinned brightly.

"Sora, he hates-"I stopped, when Sora raised his eyebrow skeptically. "He- he doesn't like me much."

"You want him to like you?" He asked.

"Well, yeah," I muttered.

"You like him?" He asked with a sly grin on his face. Great, what is it with people messing up my words!? I felt my face heat up when he leaned in closer to me. He grinned even wider. I hoped I wasn't turning red. "Aww, see you're blushing."

"No, it's-It's not like that! I'm not blushing!" I snapped, turning away from his smug expression.

"Then what's that on your cheeks," He laughed as I clapped my hands on either side of my face.

"It's the… um, fluorescents?" I literally felt like banging my head against my desk. Damn it, this is the last time I'm watching Twilight!

"I highly doubt fluorescents have anything to do with the fact that your face is red," He laughed out loud, causing several people in front of us turn to stare at us. He lowered his head and whispered," I didn't think Roxas could make you blush this hard."

"It's not Roxas, and I'm not blushing!" I hissed.

"Sure you're not," He rolled his eyes. It was definitely irritating me that he could mistake my so called blushing caused by someone like Roxas! What the crap!? "If you're not, then does your face look so flushed?"

"It's because of… "I stopped.

"Because…?" He pestered.

Because of YOU!

"Because, it's hot in here," I muttered pathetically. He didn't buy my excuse, I don't even think anyone listening to our conversation would have bought it either. "And anyway, I don't like Roxas that way! Sheesh, I'm just saying I want him to like me as a person. It's uncomfortable to be around someone who hates you!"

Sora's teasing face softened as he processed what I had just said.

"Kairi, he doesn't hate you." He said reassuringly.

"He sure does act like it," I mumbled stubbornly.

"Roxas is… he's been through a lot that's what makes him so quiet, "Sora said in pieces as if trying to find the right words. It was pretty obvious that he didn't want to let me know more than I should. "Him being shy doesn't help him in the matters of socializing either. "

"Right," I said sarcastically.

"Please Kairi," Sora placed his hand over mine. I wish he would have known what that did that to me. "Believe me." His blue eyes were so watery it looked as if he'd been crying, so innocent. It should be illegal for high school boys to have such innocent eyes.

I sighed. "Fine. What is his number?"

Sora's face instantly brightened, as he quickly told me Roxas' number. I saved it on my phone under Butt Head. Once I get an apology, I'll consider changing his contact name.

"Ok once you call him, call me afterwards so you can tell me what happened," He grabbed my phone and put his number in it. I was so shocked, my mouth hung open for the rest of the period. I had just received Sora's phone number. Sora's freakin' phone number. It was something that I've been dying to have ever since the day I met him. I probably had a stupid goofy smile on my face the whole day. I didn't care. At that point I didn't care that Roxas might be mad at me or that I had to call him. I had Sora's number, and he had mine.

* * *

Namine noticed my uplifted attitude, and immediately questioned it once we were on our way home.

"What are you so happy about?" She asked, trying not to laugh when I looked over to her with the same big smile plastered over my face.

"Oh, nothing," I sighed. She nudged me.

"C'mon, tell!" she begged.

"Namine, it's nothing, really!" I said.

"Kairi!" Namine frowned.

"Ok, ok," I paused, trying to think of something to say. "I… um, I'm going to call Roxas today." I couldn't tell her the real reason behind all my sudden 'happiness' even if I wanted to. Besides it's not like it was a total lie, right?

"You're going to WHAT?!" She stopped walking and gaped at me incredulously, her pale eyes full of shock.

"Call him, "I said uncertainly. She shook her head, as if trying to shake the thought away.

"Wait, why are you going to call him?"She asked.

"Because… I want to.."I said nervously, when she eyed me skeptically. She crossed her arms, oh great here comes the interrogation, I thought.

"I thought you said he didn't like you," She said suspiciously. I inwardly winced at her sharpness. I didn't know how to reply to that but I still tried.

"I did," I confirmed.

"So then why are you calling someone that doesn't like you?" Namine pressed. My forehead broke out in little beads of guilty sweat.

"Because I want to!" I nearly screamed. Her lips pulled up into a small smirk.

"I thought you didn't like him that way Kairi," she teased. Ugh, here we go again. This is getting really annoying!

"I don't like him like that! Ok?!" I snapped, starting to walk, leaving Namine behind. I heard her footsteps as she caught up.

"Ok fine then, but there's one more question I still have," she said.

"Ask away!"I mumbled sarcastically.

"How'd you get his number?"

I stopped and Namine ran into my back.

"I- Sora gave it to me," I decided to go with the truth.

"Is Sora making you call him?" Damn her sharpness!

"I-I don't mind," I defended. She rolled her eyes.

"That's not very nice of him," She countered.

"Honestly Namine I don't mind." I said firmly. That was the last thing that was said about that subject. We had reached our houses in the next five minutes. My mom wasn't home yet, so I decided to go over to Namine's house. We went to her room, her white room. I remember begging her for a year to paint it a different color but she refused. It's really stupid, her favorite color's pink, and yet she keeps it this creepy white. Her reasoning is even more stupid, and I quote 'I don't want to copy your favorite color!' If she only knew I despise the color pink.

"Do you want anything to drink, or something?" she asked throwing her bag on the bed. I did the same thing.

"Uh, sure," I muttered, flipping through my phone. I waited until I heard her footsteps fade to call Roxas. I pressed the send button under his contact name Butthead (haha that never gets old), and heard the other line ring. I couldn't tell you how nervous I was.

"Hello?" The voice on the other line said, I recognized immediately that it was Roxas. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing would come out. "Hello?!" His voice was growing impatient, I could tell.

"Um, hi," I said stupidly. It went quiet on the other line.

"Kairi?"

It surprised me, how quickly he recognized me.

"Yeah," I answered.

"What do you want?" He said bluntly. Wow, I feel so honored. Sora owes me big time, I thought.

"Um… "

"Well?!" He muttered impatiently.

"I just- I just wanted to know if you were-"

"If I was what- ok?!" He mocked.

"Well yeah!" I snapped beginning to get angry.

"Oh please! Why do you even care?"

"What I-" I started but he cut me off.

"-I saw you out there mooning after Sora," He said nastily. I didn't know why the heck he said that. It just came out of no where. But I was already too angry to care.

"I wasn't mooning!" I countered.

"Tch, even a blind person could tell," He spat.

"You are an idiot!" I screamed.

"At least I'm not a fan girl!" He said just as loudly. I had to put the phone away from my ear so I wouldn't suffer from having my right ear completely deaf.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh you heard me!" He sneered. "Make sure to tell me when you've established the Sora fan club at school!"

"Ugh!" I yelled, throwing my phone across Namine's room. The case busted off flying in the air and landing right next to the phone. "Stupid stupid jerk!!!"

Why did I even call him? I should have expected this from Roxas! That stupid jerk! Screw him and his 'shyness'. Shyness my ass! He hates me! That big fat stupid, dumb jerk!

I bent down and scooped up my phone, and its case stuffing it into my pocket. I couldn't even bear to be here in Namine's house. She'd definitely know something was bothering me. I knew I wouldn't be able to hide it from her.

"Hey Kairi, I got you a coke- Where are you going?" I walked down the stairs with my bag over my shoulder. Namine was holding two cans of soda with a confused expression on her face.

"I'm going home." I said simply, my voice still holding the previous anger.

"But- why?"

"I just want to go home," I said firmly, a little too firmly.

"Did something happen Kairi-"

"No, Namine! God I just want to go home!"

She blinked, staring at me wide eyed. She was wearing an expression as if I'd just slapped her or something.

"Ok… you want to go home," she said uncertainly. I wouldn't doubt if she thought I was bipolar. I walked passed her opened the front door, and was out the door. My mind was still focused on what a jerk face Roxas was to feel guilty about Namine.

Sora really did owe me big time.

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**DUN DUN DUH!!!! lol so, please comment, i'll try to update ASAP I'm on vacation right now, so I might be updating sooner..lol k bye!!! **


	9. Chapter 8

**Muahahahaha this was like my first ever super fast update!!!! :3**

**Lol I guess it's a present for all my reviewers! Yay!!! Everyone lets do the cha cha cuz i updated in less than a week lol * sigh* ok i'm done lol**

**Hmm what do i have to say about this chappie, well i guess it's sad lol. It's from personal experience, the cat thing *sigh* **

**Anyway there is some Roxiri in this chappie!! HALLELUJAH!! FINALLY lol jk, but yes *nods head* there is some brief Roxas Kairi action, And this chapter proves that Figaro brings them together!!!HAHAHA I TOLD YOU GUYS LIKE FIVE BAJILLION CHAPTERS AGO!!! lol jk, well yep, thats' all i really have to say about that. So I hope you guys enjoy it! Please review!! I mean please O_O'**

**Ugh ok u know the drill I DON'T OWN KINGDOM HEARTS BLAH BLAH BLAH WHATEVER ON WITH THE STORY!!!!**

**Kairi: Yeah! Read about me being all emo!!!**

**Namine: You're spoiling it!!!!!**

**Kairi: oh right hehe U didn't hear (in this case read) anything O_o'**

**Roxas: u guys are babbling...annoying girls .**

**Me: ok back to the story**

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Namine didn't follow me out the door. I didn't expect her to either. After a few minutes the guilt started to drown over. I really did snap at her. I even considered running back and apologizing but my mom was home. I'll just apologize tomorrow, I thought.

It was weird seeing my mom's car parked crooked in the drive way, she's always one of those people who have a major case of OCD. Anyway, I slowly made my way to the front porch, feeling incredibly suspicious. Something was up, I could feel it.

Before I could even put my hand on the doorknob, the door burst open revealing my frantic looking mom. She was running both of her hands through her hair, only something she did when she was nervous. Her eyes landed on me.

"Where on earth have you been?!" She nearly screamed in my face. I cringed.

"I was at Nami-"

"-Never mind that!" she interrupted, grabbing my arm and pulling me inside. "Why didn't you answer your phone? I was here calling and waiting for you to call back like an idiot!!!"

My fingers twitched instinctively to the broken pieces of my phone in my pocket. I couldn't tell her it was broken now, when she was already fired up.

"Um, it died," I said quickly avoiding her eyes. She ignored my last comment, throwing her self on the couch. She rubbed the temples of her head, and I just watched. What the crap!? I'd never seen my mother this angry; I don't even think that's the right word for it.

"Mom?" I called out cautiously. She sighed, looking up at me. Her eyes were all watery. Ok something was seriously wrong. "Mom! What- what is it?"

"Kairi," she whispered, her voice quivering with every syllable. "Figaro… "

I swear at that moment my whole body froze, I was as still as a statue, my eyes transfixed on my trembling mother.

"What… what's wrong with him?" I asked quietly, my whole mind was running through all the possibilities that could have happened to my cat. I knew what she was going to say, but I dreaded hearing it. Heck, I feared hearing it.

"I-I didn't mean to-"she stuttered. "I came home and the cat was just in the driveway! The stupid cat was supposed to be inside!" She put her face in her hands and sobbed. I didn't speak; I didn't know what to say to that. My mind, all my thoughts, was completely blank. Roxas and everything that happened before just didn't matter to me.

My mom continued. "Before I knew it, he… he got in the way- I tried to swerve in the other direction but-"She didn't finish. Even if she did, I didn't hear I was out of the living room in a matter of seconds. I ran to my bedroom, my face still in complete and utter shock. My cat, my Figaro is dead. I was waiting for the tears to come pouring out. But they never did.

Even after the thought of never seeing my cat attack my feet as I walked across the room, or waking up every morning to have him up in my face meowing to feed him, sunk inside my head, I didn't cry.

I lay down against my bed and tried to tell myself that it was just a cat. Big deal. But even thinking that sent shock waves in my chest. He was more than 'just a cat'. He was my cat, and he's gone.

I wish I could have cried myself to sleep, anything would have felt better than this empty feeling.

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"_Happy Birthday Kairi!" Namine squealed jumping up to give me a quick hug with one arm, while the other was behind her back._

"_Thanks," I said happily. Confetti was thrown around all over the place, and every where I turned there were faces smiling at me._

_Namine moved her arm from her back to reveal a fairly large box. She held it in front of me._

"_Here you go!" She laughed thrusting into my arms. I took the gift hesitantly, glaring at her._

"_You didn't have to get me anything," I muttered, feeling my face heat up._

"_Oh of course I did," she scolded. I shook the box slightly placing my ear near the edge of it. "Ah! I wouldn't shake it if I were you he'll get- I mean you might break it."_

"_What?" I asked wide eyed._

"_Just open it already." _

_I obeyed without anymore hesitation. When I finally lifted the top off I almost dropped the box. Inside was tiny black fur ball staring up at me._

"_W-what is it?"_

_Namine's eyes narrowed. "It's a cat duh!" Sure enough its small ears popped out. I laughed._

"_Aww, cute little kitty," I cooed, scratching the top of its head. It purred affectionately, closing it's bright green eyes._

"_So you like it right?"_

"_I love it, thanks Namine."_

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I woke up the next morning feeling my eyes sting. You know that feeling when you're really sleepy and all of a sudden your eyes start to hurt? Well that's what my eyes felt like. And yet, still no tears.

I got dressed as usual except this time it felt dreadfully monotonous. After getting my things ready, I walked out the door, ignoring my mom. I didn't think I could bear talking to her. I know I wasn't being fair, but I couldn't help it. I was miserable.

I didn't even wait for Namine in front of the school as usual; I just walked straight to my locker, ignoring all the curious stares in my direction. I probably looked like the walking dead, I felt like one. But she ended up catching up to me in the end.

"Kairi," she panted, stopping to catch her breath. She looked me up and down worriedly. "Are you um… doing ok?" Her voice held obvious uncertainty. I could tell she probably tried practicing how best to approach me all morning.

"Of course why wouldn't I be," I tried to act cool, and pretend there was nothing wrong. But knowing my mother, she probably already let Namine know. Typical maternal instinct.

"Your mom told me what happened to… "She trailed off, watching my reaction. I blinked, still no damn tears. Instead a horrible feeling clogged my throat, like a large piece of food that gets stuck when you try to swallow except it won't go down.

"Oh," I muttered, looking away from her clear blue eyes.

"I'm so sorry Kairi," She cried, putting her arms around me. I didn't really know how to react besides returning the hug. Did I look that bad that I needed a hug? Or was she just trying to be sympathetic? Whatever the reason was, I was still glad.

"Thank you, Namine" I murmured.

"If there's anything you need- do you want me to get you another-"she didn't finish her sentence because I think she felt my body tense up. The thought of replacing Figaro made me sick to my stomach. I pulled away.

"No, it's ok." I said stiffly.

* * *

The whole day well the first two periods went by so fast that it felt like I was here at school only for a few minutes. I guess that's how it is when you're completely zoned out. Everyone knew I was upset, from the way they would whisper behind my back and whenever I came around they stopped and pretended nothing happened. Sora couldn't even cheer up my mood. His smile didn't brighten my day at all. It just made me feel more alienated. I didn't even want to be near Namine. She was just too comforting to the point where I felt like she was smothering me.

I think all in all I wanted to be alone. Maybe so I could cry? No, still I wouldn't cry. I felt even more horrible at that thought.

So during lunch, I walked straight towards the football field and rested on the bleachers. Not very many people occupy them, maybe it's just an illusion because it's so big, I don't know. The only people I saw were the couples making out underneath them, before I climbed to sit down. I wish they'd get a room.

I sat there and just let my mind dump out all the thoughts that were troubling me. All my feelings and worries.

I felt really ashamed that I hadn't cried at all for my cat. I wasn't even crying now but I wasn't all joy either. I felt stuck, like feeling I should be crying, but instead I'm sitting there, staring blankly at my shoes. I'm so unappreciative of one of the best pets I'd ever have. I should be crying, I should be in hysterics reminiscing all the good times I'd spent with Figaro. I felt empty, this wasn't right!

I was so distracted by my criticizing thoughts that I didn't notice someone sit next to me. Actually I did, but it wasn't the person I was expecting.

"Hey," He said softly. I looked up and almost gasped when I saw Roxas sitting there his hands intertwined with each other, looking absolutely nervous. I didn't know what to say, I just whimpered at him in my defense. "Relax, Namine told me what happened."

"Yeah," was all that came out of my mouth. I didn't even have my voice to speak out.

"I'm- I'm sorry." He said finally, looking down at his own shoes.

"Yeah," I repeated, feeling at a loss for words. He stayed quiet for a long time, out of corner of my eye, I felt him stare at me worriedly. He never did that, it was the first time I saw that look on his face.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked nervously. It took me a while to respond.

"I don't know," I said hearing the detached tone in my voice. I know that only made him more worried.

"H-how are you feeling?" He encouraged more speech out of me. I smiled bitterly, no trace of happiness in it.

"Like an ungrateful brat." I said.

"What?" Roxas said, absolutely puzzled. I lifted my eyes to stare at his. His sapphire eyes that were icy hard were unusually soft. They softened more when mine met his. "Kairi, you're not a brat."

"Well I feel like one," I mumbled.

"I don't understand." He admitted, furrowing his eyebrows in frustration. I sighed.

"I _feel_ like I'm not feeling sad enough," I said simply. "My-my cat just died, everyone is sad- and I feel like I should be crying or something. I feel like my actions aren't reflecting how much he meant to me. I'm such a bad person, I should be crying." I finished the last sentence fiercely. This time Roxas sighed.

"Kairi," He said gently, putting one of his hands on mine. I stared briefly at our hands and then looked back at him. This was definitely not Roxas. He never acted like this. He was never sweet or sensitive, or freakin' soft spoken, like he was acting right now. "You're not a bad person. Everyone expresses themselves differently. It doesn't matter if you cry or not, as long as you know how much that person or in this case animal meant to you. That's all that counts. Everyone handles deaths and tragedies in different ways. While someone cries for him, you'll act… emo, but the feelings remain the same." He grinned uneasily waiting for some kind of reaction. I laughed softly, making him smile wider.

"Wow, nice speech." I muttered. "Who are you and what have you done with Roxas?" At this he scowled, returning to his silent moody attitude.

"Whatever," he snapped, removing his hand, and getting up from his seat. I sat there looking up at him. Sora was right; he was a real nice guy. I instantly felt a pang of guilt for being so prejudice.

"Hey," I whispered, he turned around, showing his obvious eagerness for my response. "Thanks Roxy" I giggled inside my head, waiting for his what-the-hell signature face for dubbing him with that new nickname.

"What the hell?! Honestly, Roxy?" He grimaced. I smiled involuntarily, feeling my insides squirm as I watched his eyes soften again. We were both frozen staring at each other, not awkwardly for once, but understanding. The school bell that rang both made us jump suddenly; I awoke from my trance and quickly walked ahead. Roxas tailed closely too.

"Come on Roxas, we'll be late," I exclaimed happily which surprised me. That boy completely cheered me up, with just a few words. Whoa, there must be something wrong with me.

It wasn't long before we were reunited with the gang. Namine rushed to my side, with a worried face. Sora told me he was also worried, which surprised me, but I still thanked my lucky stars for that.

"Don't worry guys, I'm fine," I reassured, glancing hastily at Roxas, who was smirking smugly the whole time. "But thanks, I feel loved now." I joked releasing the tension. Everyone was feeling better as was I, when we walked to our next class. I felt a hand pull me back, making me lag at the back of the bunch. I spun around to face Roxas.

"You're welcome, Kai." He whispered in my ear once he made sure no one was looking. It took me a few moments to realize he gave me a nickname. What the crap is with Kai? It made me sound like something from Dragon Ball Z, ugh. But I still smiled warmly and from now on, I hope things will be different between us. No more awkward silences for us! … Hopefully...

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**dun dun duh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UNTIL NEXT TIME!!!!!!!! xD XD PLEASE PLEASE REVEIEW *BEG BEG***

**Sora: Do it, she'll give you a cookie A BIG ONE!!! *munch munch*  
**


	10. Chapter 9

**muahahahahha!!!!!!! I updated!! Yeah in ur faces!!! LOL JK I'm just pretty happy that I kept up with fast updates 2x in a row I pray that it'll last long,... but now I'm real behind on my homework..xD it's k, you guys are worth it! ANYWAY! I think this is probably my least favorite chapter, consider this one like an intro to the next one..oh yes i have the next one finished already :3**

**HAHAHA lol ok, so theres...whew a lot more Roxiri in this one so far on my tally chart Roxiri is winning in this story: lol Roxiri: 3 SoKai: 2 xD idk, so yep**

**Namine: I hardly come out in this chapter!!!**

**Me: It's k, u were sort of a minor character to begin with**

**Namine:...w-what?! :(**

**Me: There there, i'm making u the main character in different story that's right folks I'm makin a Namora Story! !! xD but i'm debating whether to post it up, i think i'll work on this one a bit more**

**Kairi: Yay! **

**Roxas:yeah yeah, let's just get on with the story**

**Riku: DON'T OWN KINGDOM HEARTS OR-**

**Me: *takes out machine gun and shoots Riku* DIE!!!!...lol i don't like riku...xD it's all AngelJeanne's fault!!! xD jk jk**

**ANYWAY I DON'T OWN KINGDOM HEARTS OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS USED HERE, SO DON'T SUE!!!!!!!!!!!!  
**

That whole week felt a little weird, I mean like the good kind of weird. Like a revolutionary weird. Ha ha! Something definitely did change in the Roxas/Kairi relationship. Not that we really had one to start with. But still, it felt nice, having normal conversations with someone without being awkward. Even if it was 'chewing the fat' discussions. Roxas still kept up his cool and silent demeanor, and his often insulting remarks towards me, but I don't really take them to heart. Ever since the day Figaro passed, I've been seeing Roxas as this big ol' sweet heart. I know he absolutely gets livid whenever I bring that incident up.

And sometimes, if I'm really observant I notice his eyes are always shifting, even if in the slightest way, from that hard exterior to that soft liquid blue state which always seems to capture my attention all the freakin' time! I've also been catching him smile a little more. It always made me giddy to see his walls crumble down around me each day. It's nice to know someone trusts you.

It was hump day today, Wednesday you perverts, and I wasn't the least bit annoyed that it was barely the middle of the week. I guess ever since Roxas and I became "friends" classes were more bearable, or I was more comfortable at least.

And P.E ran rather smoothly. We had changed sports from hockey to basket ball and I already got hit at least five times by the ball. I can't wait until my two years are up and then I could take a class less dangerous.

We were in groups of four practicing on the basket ball court; each group had their own hoop to shoot the ball. I grouped with Roxas, a girl named Selphie, and Pence. Roxas did most of the work, shooting the ball and making it every time. God damn his athletic nature! Pence and I just watched at the sidelines and Selphie was shooting incorrectly trying to get Roxas' attention. Ha-ha! Everyone knew she was head of like every "Hot boy" fan club. I wouldn't doubt if Roxas had one. Sora most likely already had one. I didn't know.

"Roooooxxxaaass!" she whined with a girlish tone in her voice. He gulped loudly, gaping at me. I was laughing already, and Pence joined in. "Can you help me? I don't know what I'm doing?"

Roxas' faced paled and he stared over pleadingly at me to help. I considered leaving him there, but immediately threw that thought away. But before I could take a step towards him, the Coach's voice boomed in our ears.

"Selphie! You have to bend your knees slightly!" He ordered, making her bend her knees. "Then you angle your hands right and follow through with your throw! I thought I already told you that in the beginning of class!"

"…Ugh, yeah," a disgruntled Selphie groaned. I laughed at her face. I guess she wouldn't be getting shooting pointers from Roxas anytime soon. I looked over at Roxas who sighed in relief, before glaring daggers at me.

"And you Kairi, Pence, why are you just standing there!" He screamed, making us both flinch. "You two always do this whenever I put you guys in groups! Give me two laps around the GYM now!" He blew his whistle causing me to jump. My eyes narrowed, as I glared at Selphie who was sticking her tongue out. What I wouldn't give to the pull her tongue until it ripped out of her mouth, ha ha just kidding.

Pence and I began running; my face already broke out slightly in sweat. This time it was Roxas' turn to laugh at me. I didn't blame him; I would have done the same thing. I was already a lap ahead of Pence only because he was the only boy I could beat when we ran the mile. But whatever.

When we finished our laps the coach forced us shoot baskets and Selphie was in charge of observing us, more like babysitting us.

"You put this on yourself, you know," Roxas said, smirking as I missed the hoop completely. It went over the back board.

"Yeah, yeah I know Roxy," I huffed, running to pick up the basketball. He frowned abruptly.

"I told you not to call me that!" He snapped.

"But it's so fun!" I teased. "Especially seeing that super cute annoyed expression on your face!" I laughed. His face turned incredibly red in less than a second. I stopped laughing feeling slightly uncomfortable myself. Even if our relationship has improved and become a tiny bit closer, it probably wasn't close enough to joke around like that.

"C-cute?" he sputtered, staring at me wide eyed. His facial color never ceased. I looked away feeling myself heat up and it was definitely not because of all the running I did.

"Um, sorry." I muttered, dribbling the basketball a couple of times. I peeked at his expression, throwing the ball. He was looking away, his face was still sort of red, but his cheeks were uplifted as if he were smiling. I opened my mouth to speak, but all of a sudden…

BAM!

I felt something collide with the side of my face. I fell back, my glasses flying off my head, banging against the polished GYM floor. Something hit my head yet again, the damn floor. My brain felt like it was rattling against my skull, my whole head was throbbing painfully. It felt like I was going through a hangover or something, not that I've ever experienced something like that.

I looked around, and saw a basketball roll away from me. Damn basket ball. Roxas was standing over me, his eyebrows knitted together worriedly. He extended his hand for me to grab it.

"That was quite a fall," he commented, lifting me up. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I huffed feeling my face warm up out of embarrassment. Just great Kairi, I thought angrily. "What the hell hit me?"

"Ha ha the basketball!!" Selphie said through muffled giggles. Roxas gave her a tiny dirty look before switching his expression when he looked at me. The same kind of worry from before was plastered across his face.

"You threw the basketball a little hard and hit the front of the rim," He cringed slightly but continued. "And it sort of rebounded and hit you in the face."

I smacked my forehead but then yelled because it was still tender.

"Great…" I sighed sarcastically. I felt around my face, it felt empty. Blah, I should have realized because my vision was sort of distorted, I thought I was just dizzy. "Where are my glasses?"

Roxas looked down. Selphie completely burst out laughing. And Pence stayed quiet.

He peeked around Roxas' shoulder to look at me. Even with out my glasses and my slightly blurred vision I could tell he looked guilty.

"Kairi! I'm really, really sorry!" He said in a pleading tone, clutching something in his hands. I walked closer to get a better look. "I didn't mean to, I didn't see that they were there when I stepped on them."

Pence extended his arm and dumped my crushed frames in my hand; he dropped both lenses in my other hand.

"Crap," I mumbled. They were completely destroyed. The frame was twisted in an unnatural way and the lenses were all chipped. I made a note to myself never to wear my glasses during P.E. If I ever got new glasses.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!!!" He apologized for like the millionth time during that period. I was already getting really annoyed.

"It's fine Pence! Ok?!" I nearly screamed, as I walked into the girl's locker room to change. For a second I honestly thought he was going to follow me in, but he stopped, sighed, and headed over to the boy's locker room.

* * *

Today was definitely the most embarrassing day of my life. I couldn't help but notice that I was getting more attention than usual. All these beady eyes were on me, and it felt like I was up on a stage. I wish these people would get a life!

Twice already students came up to me and asked me if I was new at school! One of them was a boy named Seifer who I've incidentally known since the third grade, he was the brat that stole my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. That bastard! Anyway he came up to me during nutrition alone, which was really strange for him. He'd usually have his little posse around him.

"Hi! Are you a new student?" he asked with a weird tone in his voice that I've never heard before. I think I probably looked as stunned as Roxas.

"Uh… NO!" I screamed.

"What? Nah, you're pulling my leg," he laughed softly, stopping in front of me. "How come I've never seen a cute girl like you around here?"

What the crap?! I felt my face turn a deep shade of red. And my body tense up. What the hell is wrong with this guy?

"Ha ha, nice joke you crack head." I snapped angrily. "What have you been smoking in the bathrooms?"

"Aw, you don't have to be so mean!" He said in a sarcastic whimper, inching closer to me. Ok, this was seriously freaking me out. "Come on I'll show you around the school. I'll take you off this freak's hands." He gestured towards Roxas, who looked as if he were on the verge of blowing up.

"Don't call him that!" I snarled, backing away. My right hand reflexively clung onto the nearest thing which was Roxas' arm. "You're the freak! Stop acting like you don't know who I am!"

"But I don't sweet cheeks," Seifer said pleadingly, stepping closer towards me.

"Dude back off!" I screamed.

"Come on I won't bite." He laughed, reaching out for my hand. "It's only right for student at this school to show one around." He was way too close for comfort that I found myself backing up against Roxas.

"I'm not a new student!! It's me Kairi! Remember?! You hate me!" I cried out desperately. He stopped, and leaned back, scrutinizing my face.

"The four-eyed freak?" He questioned, squinting harder. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped. "What the hell happened to you?"

"W-what do you mean 'what the hell happened to me'?!" I asked furiously. I felt Roxas move away from behind me and tug at my hand.

"You look… "Seifer trailed off still staring me with that astonished expression.

"Come on," Roxas interjected, pulling harder. "Let's just go."

I followed him with out hesitation. It stayed quiet for most of the walk to our hang out place until I broke the silence.

"What. The. Crap. Just. Happened!?" I said each word slowly. Roxas was glaring at me intensely. Oh great, here we go with another one of his bipolar episodes, I thought. But surprisingly he looked away, and spoke real softly.

"You just got hit on Kai." He said. "Because you look different." I was about to open my mouth to protest against it, but a voice cut me off.

"-Who got hit on?" I spun around to see Sora, Namine, and Riku walking towards us. Then all of a sudden Olette, Hayner, and Pence appeared near Roxas' shoulder.

"Kairi!" Pence piped up. "We saw the whole thing!" Namine started laughing her head off. And Sora looked just plain confused.

"Where is she?" he asked. Oh no, this was not happening again!

"I'M RIGHT HERE!" I snapped hotly. "What is wrong with you people? It's not like I'm hiding or anything!!!" Sora jumped up in surprise when his eyes landed on me, even Riku's eyes widened a bit like Seifer's. Ugh.

"Whoa, Kairi what happened to you?" Riku blurted out. I smacked my forehead, and pulled out my broken glasses from my pocket.

"I'm not wearing any glasses because Pence broke them, big deal." I muttered, glaring at him. Ok, I seriously take back forgiving him.

"I said I was sorry!" Pence barked, waving his hands in the air.

"Yeah, yeah I know," I said. Namine crept up behind me and pulled me into a headlock.

"Aw, look at the pretty little face she hid from the world!!" She laughed, digging her knuckles into my head.

"Ah, Namine stop!" I complained flapping my arms around to try to grab her. She only laughed more.

"Say uncle!"

"Uncle, uncle!" I screamed out. She let go instantly wearing a big mischievous smile. Everyone around us was laughing even Roxas cracked a grin. "I'll get you back Namine, I'd be sleeping with one eye open if I were you!" I threatened. She stuck her tongue out.

"Oh is that supposed to scare me!?" she mocked. I was going to come back with a witty comeback but the blasted subject came back again.

"Anyway, who was it that hit on you Kairi?" Riku asked after everyone stopped with the laughing. I felt myself heat up with embarrassment and anger. Heck no did I want to tell them.

"It was Seifer!" Pence said cheerily. Namine burst out laughing again, trying to muffle them with her hand. Ok, I seriously want to kill both of them now now! I gave him the death glare while he backed up behind Olette.

"Seifer!?!?!" She hiccupped between laughs, clutching the sides of her stomach. Sora joined in her laughter. That made me even more embarrassed.

"What the hell did he smoke to make him do that!?" Sora chuckled. I blushed even deeper, wishing I could crawl into a hole or something. Anything to get away from the attention.

"Why should Seifer have to be on something in order to notice Kairi?" Roxas spoke up immediately. I blinked, turning my attention on him. His cold eyes were narrowed and he was frowning. "She's cute enough even with glasses."

Everyone went silent and all their eyes were on Roxas and me. At that moment I seriously felt like socking him or something. What kind of idiot would do that? Even if he said I was cute it was still a stupid- Wait! He said I was cute! Roxas, _Roxas Roxas_, said I was… cute? My face burned with more embarrassment.

"I-I didn't mean it like… that, I just meant that… that," He stuttered trying to come up with a good reason but the damage was already done.

"Yeah I know Rox, Kairi is cute enough. I just said that because they've hated each other since forever." Sora said quietly. Nobody really knew what to say. I was too embarrassed and so was Roxas. It was already three times someone of the opposite sex has called me cute, not that I'm counting. I seriously wanted to crawl under a rock now, and live like Patrick from Sponge bob; no one will bother me and all my sand furniture. But I have to be something besides such a grotesque color like pink, ugh pink.

But thankfully the bell rang, ah saved by the bell. We all headed to our fifth period Roxas, Olette, and I heading to Chinese while everyone else went their separate ways. And I still got curious eyes on me on the way to fifth period. Note to self: Plot a scheme to kill Pence, take over all the lens crafter manufacturing business, and invest in a large rock. Oh yeah, that sounds pretty good.

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**DUN DUN DUH!!!! yep that's all folks...so far!!xD Um please review...please O_O'**

**I love all my reviewers, they have a special warm fuzzy place full of assorted cookies in my heart :3  
**


	11. Chapter 10

**YESS!! I UPDATED YEAH, PARTY! xD jk, but...phew I updated. Sorry it's sort of a late update, I was just really sick...yeah very, I missed like a week of school. and now I'm scared to go back b/c all of my friends are telling me I'm sooo behind!!! O_O'**

**Anyway, hmm... this chappie, well I had fun writing it. There's more Roxiri in this ..yep, a lot more :3 and some Minor SoKai, I suppose, and more Namine in it, but whatever. Just so you guys don't get confuzzled, it's still the same day... so yeah, and omg I caught this jumango mistake in the previous chapter! Ahh i hate myself for it..but I fixed it already, so I'm cool now .**

**Also I had a hard time staying in the correct tense..you know, in this ch. i'd always shift to present tense which annoyed the crap out of me.. I think it's cuz I read the hunger games and currently reading The Time Traveler's wife...they're both written in present tense..so yeah . anyway both books are awesome! if you guys haven't read them u must O.O**

**Roxas: YOU ARE BABBLING!!!**

**Me: Ah you're right!**

**Kairi:Let's just get on with the story .**

**Me: ok ok sheesh, so I proudly present chappie 10...i think? i lost count**

**Roxas: What an idiot**

**Me: HEY!**

**Kairi: SHE DOES NOT OWN ME OR ROXAS OR KINGDOM HEARTS!!!**

**Roxas: SO DON'T SUE**

**Me: Yeah!  
**

**

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**

When we all got inside the class room, even the freakin' teacher couldn't recognize me! I took barely two steps and the Little Miss cute Asian woman was asking if I wanted to introduce myself to the class. What the crap!? There is seriously something wrong with all the people today, the only ones that are actually even acting the same have been Namine and well… Roxas, not counting that embarrassing comment he made outside of class. Talking about Roxas, he didn't even say a word to me after that. I mean who could blame him; I can't even say anything to him.

_This is just great Kairi,_ I thought angrily. After thinking things couldn't get worse after everything that's happened between Roxas and me, it just did. We're back to square one, the 'no talking to each other unless we absolutely must stage'. I really felt miserable at this point. Miserable, embarrassed, not to mention harassed in the Seifer way, and annoyed. My head was already throbbing with an incredible migraine that probably was partly caused because of the stupid basketball incident, all these irritating people, and partly because of the fact that I can't freakin' see the board! After the teacher put up the warm up on the white board it looked like a bunch of colored squiggly looking blurred lines. As if reading my mind, a voice spoke up next to me. _Three guesses, who? _I thought sarcastically.

"Can you see?" Roxas asked curiously. I can't say I was surprised that it was him because he's the only male that sits next to me, last time I checked Olette wasn't a man. The thing that surprised me the most was why. I mean how he can still talk to me after that. I wouldn't even want to talk to me. After letting the shock wash over, it took me a moment to process what he said and I became instantly annoyed all over again.

"Of course I can see," I snapped irritably. "I'm not blind!" If I was blind I'd be crashing into doors, or doing something stupid like putting mayonnaise on my fries instead of ketchup.

He rolled his eyes disregarding my blind comment. "I meant can you see the board?" Realization spread over me, and I instantly felt a twinge of guilt for snapping at him. He must have noticed all my squinting and struggle over trying to look at the stupid board questions.

"Oh," I murmured, feeling my cheeks burn with embarrassment. "No I can't." He didn't reply, instead he pushed his paper in front of me. In his writing was the warm up, completed.

"You can copy if you want." He muttered quietly. I quickly scrawled down the questions and handed him back his paper.

"I'm not a cheater." I said stiffly. His face perked up almost instantly and his eyes narrowed.

"I didn't call you-"He started defensively, but I cut in before he said anything stupid that would cause me to say something just as stupid back.

"I know," I said, answering the first question, which was translating a phrase into English. "Thank you anyway."

"Hmph," He mumbled. I tried my best to ignore his sulking; pouting was more like it actually. I looked around the room trying to test my vision, I'd be needing it for at least biology, and then I'd be free. As I squinted around the room, I never really realized how reliant I was on my spectacles. Ha ha, spectacles sound so fancy. I mean I knew my eyesight was sort of bad, but not extremely bad to the point where I can't live with out them. Again, as if reading my mind Roxas spoke.

"Can you see?" He asked again. This time I recognized the mocking tone. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, I can see Roxas!" I snapped.

"If you can see then why do you wear them all the time?" He pressed. My head ache was already worsening, by the minute. It felt like my head was going to explode.

"I just got so used to them; I forgot that they were there. Now they're just like… a part of me, you know?" I said. I looked over at him and his eyebrows were knitted together as if he were thinking.

"No," He admitted. I rolled my eyes again.

"Well you don't wear glasses, so you don't get it," I muttered, going back down to the warm up.

"So, are you trying to say that you use your glasses as a shield or wall to hide behind? Is that it?" He asked. I stopped writing to look back up at him.

"N-no what makes you think that?" I stuttered. He shook his head.

"Nothing." We didn't speak about that subject again.

Biology wasn't as bad as I would have expected it to be, considering the fact that I sit in the back. Roxas was there to let me copy down the notes, and questions so I didn't struggle with my eyesight. The most surprising thing that happened in that class was that the teacher actually recognized me! When I first walked in she scrutinized me briefly with her brown eyes, before returning to her bored expression.

"Can't get past me with that hair of yours Cherry," She sneered, with that robotic tone. I would have thought that was an extremely creepy comment but, actually I was grateful. I guess it really pays off to have a lifeless teacher who constantly bags on your vibrant colored hair.

When we started on the class work, Roxas shoved a piece of paper that was folded in half in front of me. I shot him a brief dirty look, while he was looking down at his textbook. I sighed, unfolding the paper. In his small cramped hand writing was one word.

_Skateboarding?_

I stared at the word, feeling really stupid. Obviously this was some kind of code that I really didn't get. I was about to write 'what the hell?' back, until it finally hit me.

"_Do you think it's possible for someone like me to learn?"_

"_I," he paused, lifting his head up slightly. "I don't know, maybe."_

"_Can you teach me?"_

My lips pulled up into an involuntary smile, as I scribbled down my reply.

_When?_

_Today. Afterschool. _He wrote.

_OK_

_

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_

"I still cannot believe that you're actually going to learn to skateboard," Namine said incredulously, shaking her head. I could tell she was trying to hold back her laughter. "And with Roxas no less."

We were in our seventh period class. The teacher was snoozing on his table, piles and piles of papers awaiting to be graded surrounding him. The rest of the class was pretty much doing their own thing. Jumping on desks, throwing airplanes, writing disturbing messages on the white board, you know typical stuff. Namine and I were probably two of the few students who were actually sitting in our seats.

"Oh yeah, I know," I muttered feeling my face turn pink. Namine smiled.

"I can't believe that he agreed either," She said with wonder. I laughed.

"He didn't take that much persuasion." I said, causing her to smirk at me. _Aw crap_, I thought. She was wearing an expression which I knew only too well. In the next few minutes I was spilling out everything that happened between us after the whole embarrassing incident. I had almost forgotten it, but she brought it up again.

"He's only teaching you because he thinks you're cute," Namine teased, poking me in the cheek. I felt myself blush. I tried to look at anything but her prying blue eyes.

"Yeah, so does Sora," My blush deepened when I said that." And for some bizarre reason Seifer. Honestly I hope they quite whatever they've been smoking because they're hallucinating over false illusions of me."

Namine frowned, and her eyes narrowed.

"Kairi for the millionth time you're-" She started.

"No, don't even say it," I interjected irritably. That was the last thing I needed for this stupid day.

"Fine, I quit arguing with you about it." She stayed quiet for a long time; I was beginning to believe that she was trying to give me the silent treatment when she suddenly spoke up again.

"So when are you gonna do it with Roxas?" She laughed at her joke, while I blushed again, pushing her angrily. "Ok, no I'm sorry, Ok really when are you going to 'skateboard'?" she put air quotes around skateboard.

"After School today," I muttered.

"Really? Boy that's really soon!" she said. I rolled my eyes.

"I didn't plan it Namine," I replied.

"Right right," she said absently, balancing her pencil on one finger. "Hey where are you doing this?" I opened my mouth to answer, and then tell her to buzz of with the questions, until I realized I had no idea where we were supposed to meet. Were we even supposed to meet somewhere or what? I already felt panicked and nervous about it, which made me feel incredibly stupid. It's just a skateboarding lesson…thingy.

"I-I don't know," I admitted.

Once the bell rang, I have to admit I was sort of freaking out. What the crap was I supposed to do!? As soon as I walked out of the class room all of my doubts seemed to wash away, because Roxas was standing by the door apparently waiting for me.

"Well, looks like you're in luck," Namine whispered behind me. I turned around to face her; she was walking down the hall.

"Hey where are you going?" I called after her.

"Didn't I tell you? I've got a major art project to work on, sorry can't make it to your little skateboard session," she laughed, stalking off.

"Traitor," I murmured, turning my attention to Roxas. He had his backpack slung over his shoulder, and he was clutching his skateboard with his right hand.

"Where'd that pop out from?" I asked pointing at the board. He shook his head, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"I left it in a classroom closet after an incident involving a complete nincompoop scraping my board."He muttered, giving me a furtive look. I rolled my eyes.

"Hey, I apologized for that already, and I'm not a nincompoop!" I snapped. Roxas merely laughed.

"Yeah, ok, that's true," He said.

* * *

We ended up doing our practice session in front of my house, which is really weird because Roxas now knows where I live… creepy. For about a few minutes he started talking to me about the board pointing at the proper sections of it, and its name. I sort of tuned everything out; it's not my fault if I have the tendency of having an attention span of a squirrel when it comes to physical activity.

"Are you even listening?"Roxas asked irritably. I switched my attention from a passing butterfly to look at him.

"Oh huh, yeah of course!" I smiled, giving him the thumbs up. He rolled his eyes. I changed the subject. "Am I going to learn tricks, and the one where you spin and-"

"No," he said rather flatly.

"What? Why not!?"

"This is going to be your first time on a board, do you expect me to just let you even attempt to do something like that?" Roxas snapped. I crossed my arms over my chest, and rolled my eyes. Stupid Roxas, I thought.

"Fine" I mumbled angrily.

"Here put these on," He said gruffly handing me what looked like biking equipment. Did I really look that accident prone or something? I reluctantly took the gear, which included a helmet, gloves with the fingers cut off, and pads.

"Come one Roxy, is this really necessary?" I complained, putting on the helmet. He smiled briefly, before giving me a stern look.

"Yeah it is, if this is your first time," He said. I huffed, strapping the pads on each of my elbows and knees. I probably looked like some kind of dork learning to ride a bike for the first time. Ugh. I took one step towards Roxas then fell over; my knees wouldn't bend at all because of the stupid pads.

"Ugh, stupid piece of crap," I cursed silently, flipping over to sit down. Roxas kneeled before me chuckling. No laughing. Well someone is really amused, I thought sarcastically.

"Kairi, you've got the pads all mixed up," he continued to laugh. I frowned, watching him snicker at my stupidity.

"Well, sorry, Mr. Pad expert, they look exactly the same to me." I snapped. Roxas shook his head, still wearing that absurdly huge grin. It was weird seeing a big smile on his face. I still wasn't that used to it. He leaned in close to me; our faces were practically inches apart. He was so close, too close to the point where it almost felt like some kind of intimate close. I swear my face was a way brighter shade of red than my hair. Roxas didn't blush, he didn't even seem to notice, he looked too preoccupied with the way I incorrectly put on my knee pads, which were on my elbows.

I felt his hands run up my arm, causing the little hairs on it to prick up, to my elbow to rip off the pad. I hope he didn't notice that either. Roxas did the same with the other arm. I really wasn't sure if the whole feeling my forearm to my elbow was intentional or not, but it still made my pulse quicken uncomfortably. I blinked watching him, from the view I had, all I could see were his forehead which was covered by his windswept blonde hair, and his eyes that looking down at my knees. His fingertips barely brushed against my thigh when I jumped up suddenly. Roxas stared at me wide eyed.

"Um, I-I can do that," I muttered, feeling my face grow warm and eventually hot. I bent down to undo the pads. There were already marks of the straps being super tight against my legs.

"Ok, then," He said uncertainly, handing me the knee pads. I strapped all of them rather quickly, not caring for the ones that were done loosely.

"Alright, let's do this," I said, trying desperately to get out of this whole 'intimate' moment. I had a feeling Roxas had no idea what he was doing to me. He sighed, rising to his feet and walking over to me. I hesitated when his fingers found there way to my face. Oh crap, oh crap, what the hell is he doing? I closed my eyes, but opened them immediately when I felt my helmet strap tighten, as well as all the other pads. Ok, he was only fixing the straps…cool.

"You've got to make sure everything's secure Kairi," Roxas said. "Jeez you're not even on the board and you're acting careless."

"Oh, right," I said rather lamely. The closeness was still distracting me. How was I going to last the whole session if he was going to be this close?!

"Alright, let's go." He said. Roxas led me to the street where the board was laying innocently, well feigning innocently. It was the same evil board I chipped in homeroom that one day some time ago. "Ok, the most important thing is balance, if you lose that, then you're a goner."

I gulped. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Roxas seemed to have read my mind, because his face lightened up amusedly. I don't think I've ever really seen him this happy.

"So, here, step on the board, and I'll hold onto you so you won't fall," He said carefully. I stopped listening after the 'I'll hold onto you' part. Ok, maybe this was a horrible idea. My face flushed a great deal when he took both of my hands. I tried to ignore it, and focus on my feet on the board. That was more important!

I followed his instructions on pushing the board to roll down the street, with Roxas as my balance… thing. I fell a couple of times, on my own. Actually I fell a lot. And I sweated a lot, which was incredibly gross. I felt the cushiony part inside the helmet, stick to my head, and my knees shake under my weight when I pushed the skateboard.

After about the next five falls, we called it quits for the day. I peeled of the helmet in relief, before being disgusted by how wet my hair was. He told me I had enough humiliation to deal with. So we sat on the curb for the next half hour just talking. I can tell you that was the longest conversation I've ever had with him. It was actually going great until, he brought up Sora.

"So… um Sora," He said awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. I stayed quiet waiting for him to continue. "Can I ask when it started?"

"Probably since seventh grade," I admitted, feeling the blood rush up to my face. Roxas was the first person I've ever told. Heck, he's the only one that knows my deep dark secret. He whistled, long and low.

"That's a pretty long time," He commented.

"Yeah," I agreed. The sun was starting to set, filling the sky with the gold and pink colors. I glanced over at Roxas, who was staring at the sunset. His face was tinged with the swirling mixture of colors from the sky.

"I like sunsets," He said suddenly, looking over at me with soft blue eyes. At that moment, my stomach churned uncomfortably. Roxas smiled serenely at me, making my face burn hotly. I blinked regaining my composure, to smile back.

"I don't really like sunsets," I whispered. He looked startled.

"What? Why?" Roxas asked as I turned back to the sky.

"They make me sad," I laughed. "It's like; sunsets show that the day is ending, especially if it's a good day. Even if the day is bad, it's still a day less of my life." I sighed. "I don't know what I'm talking about."

"I never thought about it that way." Roxas murmured. "I guess, they are sad."

"Yeah," I agreed. It stayed quiet like this for a little while. Not like an awkward kind of silence, more of a peaceful silence, one where you can enjoy another person's company without talking. Roxas broke it after a few moments.

"Is this a good day for you?" He asked. I looked at him. His eyebrows are knitted together and his eyes were so intensely focused on me, that I couldn't help but blush.

I thought about the question, and then my day, from my glasses breaking, to all the attention, to the embarrassing incident, and to now. And I wouldn't change one second of today if I could.

"Yes," I said quietly.

"Hmm," He muttered just as quietly. "Hey, Kairi"

"Yeah?"

"Can I," He paused, switching his gaze from my face to his shoes. I wish he didn't. "Can I ask why… Sora?"

I hesitated. "Sora is, "I paused, looking down at my hands, which were unscathed because of the protection of the gloves. " I don't know, he's just Sora. Ha-ha. He's always so nice, and he's so real, there's like nothing fake about him. I really love that about him."

"You do know that he um-" Roxas started, looking uncomfortable.

"-That he likes Namine, yeah I do," I muttered, trying to focus my attention on my hands. I heard Roxas sigh softly.

"What are you going to do?" He asked. I chanced a glance at him, but regretted it because he was looking at me worriedly. And my eyes stayed glued to his. I hate it when that happens.

"I don't know," I admitted wearily. I felt my eyebrows pull together as I thought of his question. "I don't think there's anything I can do." He shook his head.

"You can tell him," He suggested.

"Hell no!" I said suddenly causing him to laugh.

"Why not?" He pestered.

"-Because, Roxy," I said with a 'duh' tone in my voice. "I can't just tell him, he likes Namine, not me. Namine, my best friend Namine!"

"Ok, you're kind of acting a bit dramatic-"

"I am not! Do you even know how it feels to wish you can just, I don't know, hate your best friend?" I asked, feeling my voice rise. I didn't mean to, but he had already gotten me riled up. "Do you ever feel like in agony just watching the person you like completely ignore you to just talk to someone else? You're best friend to be specific! Someone you absolutely can't hate because you love them to death. Do you honestly know how it feels?!"

He looked at me for a long moment, his soft blue eyes piercing into mine. For a moment I felt a mutual understanding, but it broke off when his eyes hardened.

"No, I don't," He said.

"No you don't, so just don't call me dramatic, or try to understand because you don't," I snapped. Roxas turned away grunting. He was starting to sulk again. I tried giving him the silent treatment, but ended up breaking the silence.

"Hey, I'm sorry Roxas," I said quietly as he looked up at me. "I didn't mean to say that, I just-"

"Yeah, I know," He said just as quietly. He looked up at the sky, and I followed suit. The sun had already set, but the pink remained in the sky. "Hey it's getting late, I should… go."

"Yeah," I agreed. He stuck all the gear in his back pack and put the board on the street. He was just about to push the board when another blonde figure came into view. Namine was walking towards us, sketchbook in hands, and paint all over herself.

"Hey Kairi, Roxas, you guys are still skateboarding?" she asked, looking from Roxas to me. A faint blush appeared over his face, or it could have been the reflection of the sky.

"No, we just finished," I said.

"Uh, huh right," she mocked. Roxas looked at me awkwardly, one foot on his board and one on the floor. He just stood there, as if waiting for me to say something, so I did.

"Oh, thanks Roxy, for everything," I smiled, waving goodbye. He scowled at me, before nodding his head and riding off home. I watched him roll down the street until he was out of view. Something nudged the side of stomach making me jump. I really had forgotten Namine was standing there the whole time.

"'Roxy' huh?" she teased, wearing a big smile on her face. "You guys are on nickname basis?"

"I-I… sure," I sighed.

"Aww, how cute," she said, reaching out and squeezing my cheeks. I slapped her hands away, but she resisted. In the end, we wound up on the floor literally wrestling each other.

"Eww you smell go take a shower!" Namine laughed, pushing me off of her and grabbing my head in a head lock. I pulled her off of me and knocked her on the floor standing up.

"Eww, you're dirty, you go take a shower!" I countered. She laughed harder, causing me to join in. I reached out to grab her hand and pull her up. We both walked to our respective houses and I immediately jumped in the shower.

Today ended up being a good day for me, I guess.

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**DUN DUN DUH!!!! I'll try to update ASAP, ...I'll try, Im not making any promises**

**Namine: Please Review :3**

**Sora: Please**

**Riku: with a cherry on top-**

**Me: *shoots down Riku* Please?  
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	12. Chapter 11

**Hey guys! I know I know, I took forever to update... really sorry about that. I didn't have internet for a LONG time! And plus I've had writer's block, so go figure. Omg I also got into the Percy Jackson series! Wow, I never realized what an awesome series that is! If you haven't read them GO READ THEM NOW!**

**Anyway, back to the story... well sorry this chappie is sort of short, I just... idk, wanted to split it up like this.**

**Reviews and comments would be really nice!**

**Enjoy!**

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It would take exactly a month, a week, and three days for my new pair of glasses to arrive. It really isn't my fault that my optometrist is an incredibly lazy bum but anyway, I've been counting each day of torture until my miracle would be bestowed upon me. My mother was absolutely irritated at the fact that I broke them, not that they were expensive actually they were the cheapest ones we found. Also, breaking the news about my cell phone didn't enlighten her enraged mood. She went completely ballistic saying how I'm irresponsible I was and how I have as much coordination as a falling domino. I was terribly thankful that I still haven't mentioned my skateboarding sessions with Roxas. That would make her even more wacko.

So, in my days of being blind I've been improvising a.k.a: using Roxas as my seeing dog. He does such a good job. People around school have finally accepted the fact that I'm still "Kairi" without my glasses, so the whole confusion has dimmed down a bit. I've even found ways to lighten my mood, when some random (and by random I mean Seifer) student still comes up asking me if I'm new. Like in P.E for example, I'd always manage to "accidently" hit Pence with the basketball when nobody's looking. Just like yesterday.

"_Ow!" Pence shrieked as the ball hit him square in the chest. I stifled a giggle, turning the other way. I felt his glare on me. "Hey Kairi, that isn't funny!"_

"_I can't see remember?" I said sweetly. He snorted._

"_Oh don't give me that 'I can't see' crap!" He snapped._

"_Ok, ok fine, I'm sorry," I sighed._

I guess the only "bad" thing that's been destroying my enlightened mood would be Sora and his incredibly obvious flirting. He broke his arm last weekend doing god knows what. Anyway he's been milking his injury whenever Namine is around. I mean sure breaking an arm must hurt and all but do you have to thrust it around? I had to sit for days watching Namine draw little "cute" things all over his cast, while he'd give her "innocent" hugs. Innocent my ass. I could sense Roxas noticing my little distress tantrums that go through my head, by his concerned expressions. I guess that's a plus for having someone know my deep dark secret. But then again having someone constantly asking you if you're ok all day can get pretty damn annoying.

Anyway Sora's flirting has been multiplied by ten over this week even excluding his broken arm. Hugging, tickling, sweet talking, he's done everything and I just happen to have to be there. Like lunch today, for example.

It's made me anxious. Anxious as in I can feel that something is going to happen.

I was sitting with Namine at our usual table. Sora and his gang weren't there… yet. He was off in the nurses office getting his arm checked. It felt like it was becoming a harmless lunch without the "obvious" distractions.

Namine talked excitedly about what she did in Biology yesterday. She quickly explained what I was going to do in class today.

"We're going to do a group project, it's so cool, I swear," She exclaimed jumping in her seat.

"Oh, goodie," I said sarcastically digging my plastic Spork (A/N: YES I said Spork) into the weird looking chicken. It reeked of mildew. Sheesh, what kind of food are they serving here? "What is this 'fun-tertaining' project like?"

"Oh, Kairi, stop being such a sour puss, this project is actually going to be fun!" she assured me, starting to poke at her chicken. "You're going to design a t-shirt!" This actually made me lift my eyes from the rotten poultry to her. She beamed foolishly, making her look ten years younger. It really did seem like a long time, another lifetime almost. When we were kids it was completely different from how it was now. Namine was always the shy one and followed me everywhere like a little puppy. But things changed when we got to middle school. She got out of her awkward phase and blossomed into this beautiful perfect flower. Ever since then it was always Namine then Kairi. She was always the better half of the two of us, the one everyone liked, which was annoyingly… annoying! But I couldn't blame her, I never could. I was happy for her just as a best friend would be.

"Well of course it's fun for you; you're practically a professional artist!" I grinned teasingly. She smiled again like the little girl I remembered ten years ago, my Namine.

"You're too nice." She joked flapping her dainty hand at me.

"When you become rich and famous make sure you won't forget to thank me for being the first one to acknowledge your talents." I laughed.

"Alright it's a deal."

Namine continued on the biology project subject. I tried my best to pay attention, but I couldn't help letting my eyes wonder to a certain brunette, making a lot of commotion. Sora just entered the cafeteria with Riku and Roxas. They made their way over to the line for food as Sora was talking animatedly. Riku was responding while Roxas would merely nod. Seriously, that guy barely talks, even with his own friends. My eyes shifted back to Sora who was laughing at something Riku said. His mouth outstretched into a wide grin, showing off his adorable dimpled cheeks. My face started to heat up as I created a mental picture of my lips on his cheek. And then another image of Sora's mouth on mine as he clung onto me, while I ran my fingers through his hair, burst through my head. I blushed deeply when he spun around and saw me gazing at him.

"Crap," I whispered quietly. I immediately felt Namine's puzzled eyes on me.

"What is it?" she asked. I stared at her briefly before looking behind her head. Sora got out of the line and sauntered his way over to our table.

"Um… I- I forgot to do my bio homework," I lied quickly, dropping my gaze back to the disgusting meal on my Styrofoam tray.

"Ooh, I feel bad for you. Who knows what that psycho is going to make you do as punishment," Namine murmured wincing. I would have laughed if I weren't so uncomfortable.

"Uh huh," I spluttered, glaring at the chicken in front of me refusing to look behind Namine. In a matter of seconds Sora was propped in the seat next to Namine, grinning widely.

"Hey Namine," he said in the same tone as usual. He said a brief hello to me, and then turned back to her again.

"Hi Sora," She said warmly. I tried to say hi back afterwords but couldn't because he was all over her, as usual. He did most of the talking, she just nodded, and I simply sat there trying to hold back from going berserk. I was in agony watching him try to win her over while she remained completely oblivious. Oh, what I wouldn't give to be Namine just for a day. Why didn't he like me? I'm just as good as Namine! I sighed internally. Who am I kidding? I will now and forever be dubbed as her dorky red headed friend. Sora won't ever like me, who would?

It was starting to get incredibly awkward after his wooing attempts became desperate. At one point he was even rubbing a strand of her platinum blonde hair between his fingers, which only made my wish to become my best friend even stronger. Namine smiled at him platonically, tucking that same strand behind her ear. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Riku laughing his head off at Sora's failed attempt. She didn't like him that way. Everyone knew that, even he knew that. That fact alone only made my feelings for him greater. His determination and lack of fear of rejection simply had me hypnotized and dazzled. I glanced briefly at Roxas only to meet his blue eyes head on. The same worried expression, I've seen for days, plastered across his face. My gaze broke away from his to stare back at Sora, who was still trying to flirt.

Thankfully the bell rang, before anything more disturbing (more like sickening or disgusting) happened. Sora hastily told her goodbye, and that he had to go to Biology.

"Oh! You should go with Kairi, she has the same class." Namine said, grabbing my arm and steering me next to him. Of course I knew I had that class with him. It was one of the periods I loved going to, partly because the subject was my favorite and partly because Sora was in it and there was no Namine to distract him. Plus, I get to stare at him without worrying about getting caught by one of my friends. Well, except for Roxas, but he looks like he doesn't care. I had nothing to worry about, he never talked anyway.

"That's right! You sit behind me!" He agreed."Ok then Kairi let's go or else we'll be late."

"Alright," I smiled, feeling my stomach do somersaults at the thought of walking with him. We said goodbye to Namine, since she had art next (Sora giving her a quick hug, ugh) and headed off to Biology.

The walk to our next class wasn't awkward or quiet like how it used to be with Roxas. Sora had something to say about everything that was one thing I loved about him. He was real and never pretended to be fake. He was always himself and didn't care what other people thought of him. I sighed, he still had no idea how I felt for him.

I couldn't help but stare at him admiringly; he was so sweet, so perfect. So cute. I let my eyes take in every inch of him, fearing this might be the only time I'm this close to him without Namine.

"What are you looking at so intensely Kai?" said a voice. I looked up at Sora's face but he wasn't the one who spoke. All of a sudden the mute-like honey blonde appeared next to Sora. Crap, I forgot Roxas had his class with us. Ugh, stupid, I felt like stabbing him right then and there for interrupting our quality time, but I held back.

"You should take a picture; it lasts longer," Sora teased, nudging my arm. His touch made my heartbeat rise and my face burn in embarrassment. I shifted my eyes down to his left arm which was in a cast.

"Ha-ha," I muttered sarcastically, trying to hide my blush. "I was just looking your broken arm. How did you break it again?" I desperately wanted to get out of the spot light. Roxas didn't buy my change of subject; I saw the doubt hidden in his hard stare. Sora lifted his arm limply, dangling it in front of me. I giggled involuntarily. Roxas stared at me with wide eyes as if he just heard a curse word from me and Sora joined in my laughter.

"Skateboarding," He replied simply. I raised an eyebrow in disbelief and even Blondie cracked a grin.

"Really? I never took you as a skater." I said feeling my lips curve into a smile as I tried to picture him skating.

"He isn't," Roxas spoke up. "He's too much of a weenie."

"Roxas!" Sora snapped, pushing him. I laughed again, watching a small blush appear in his tanned face.

"It's true you don't have enough scars to prove you've been skating all your life." He said smugly. I had another mental image of all the scars Roxas claimed he had.

"That's because I'm not clumsy and uncoordinated," Sora muttered under his breath. Roxas scowled.

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**DUN DUN DUH!!!!!!!!!**


	13. Chapter 12

**Hey!!! OhMiGod! I'm back!! XD I'm sooo sorry for taking sooo long to update this stupid story!! ARG! I feel really bad! I seriously love all my reviews and reviewers they make me so happy and really motivate me to write more. I'm so sorry for making you guys wait _**

**I want to cry lol jk, but seriously that's how bad I feel. :(**

**So I want to dedicate this chappie to all my reviewers, you guys really make my day!**

**Let's see, um this chappie, well theres... Roxiri in this..and some SoKai... So I'm guessing the tally score is still evened out, no Roxiri is winning!! hahaaha in ur face SoKai, lol xD um and yeah, I'm sorry if it get's confusing but I promise I'll put background info in later chapters... Roxas' mysterious past won't go unanswered I promise you that!!!!  
**

**Oh and there isn't that much Namora in here, if there is it's only minor. Be prepared for total mortification!!! (if that's a word) xD**

**ANYWAY!!![good song to listen to if your reading this...especially at the Roxiri parts *cough cough* is um "Here with me" by Plumb!) **

**Review! and I OWN NOTHING! Enjoy :)  
**

_Recap:_

_"Roxas!" Sora snapped, pushing him. I laughed again, watching a small blush appear in his tanned face._

_"It's true you don't have enough scars to prove you've been skating all your life." He said smugly. I had another mental image of all the scars Roxas claimed he had._

_"That's because I'm not clumsy and uncoordinated," Sora muttered under his breath. Roxas scowled._

After a few shoving and giggling- er laughing, the boys calmed down.

* * *

Namine was completely right, not that I've doubted her before. When we walked into Bio, Ms Lockhart had 'an official Ms. Lockhart lab' written neatly underneath the agenda on the white board. I rolled my eyes when I noticed a little smiley face drawn next to the teacher's name, wondering if she was just being sarcastic.

I sat down in my seat, Roxas reciprocating. He quickly took out his binder, wrote down the warm up and handed me his paper. I smiled in thanks before copying his writing. I was almost through with the warm up when I felt the robotic teacher hovering over me.

"Still blind eh, Cherry?" She said, probing me with her dull brown eyes. I stared down at my paper.

"Yes," I muttered shyly.

"For how long?" She questioned. I hated it when she did this, always questioning me about my personal life. I bet she just loved to see me squirm in my seat out of embarrassment.

"Um, about a month?" I said uncertainly. Gosh I hated when she did that too! She always made me so nervous and so unsure about my answers. Her lips pulled up half an inch.

"Someone's excited huh?" She laughed sarcastically, let me emphasize on the sarcastically! She spun around quickly as if she didn't hear anything and turned her attention to Sora. I recognized her interrogating face… which was pretty much the same as her regular face.

"Still in the cast Spiky?" She smirked at Sora, who was sitting there twirling his pencil with his left hand.

"Yep," He said flashing her smile; she blinked completely unnerved before scowling at him. After the first meeting with her, Sora vowed to break her absolutely emotionless/pissed off personality. Everyone knew that Sora's smiles were contagious, but then again, we're talking about a robotic teacher here.

"Alright, time's up!" She addressed the class, walking to the white board where the warm up was at. Ms. Lockhart looked around the class, and then zeroed in on my table. "Blondie! What's the answer?"

Roxas blushed, causing me to snort, which I quickly disguised as a cough. He glared at me before saying the correct answer.

"Ok, now that that's out of the way," Ms. Lockhart murmured shuffling behind her and pulling something out of a box, I just noticed. She pulled out a plain white t-shirt, and held it up to the class. "This is your lab." She paused dramatically, as if waiting for ooh's and ah's. I rolled my eyes. "Each of you brats will be partnered up in pairs to design a t-shirt."

Finally a bubble of excited chatter filled the room.

"Hold up, there's a catch," she continued. "You have to draw an organ system inside our bodies, the reproductive system is out, so don't even think about that one!" I heard a couple of groans, mostly from boys. "Your t-shirts must have all the organs in that system which must be color coded and labeled. Also," she flipped the white shirt around, revealing a messy drawing. It looked something like the respitory system, except the lungs were way at the bottom of the t-shirt, and larynx was coming from the back. "Your lab must look nothing like this crap or you'll fail."

I gulped. Crap, now I really wished Namine were in this class with me.

"And, you have to provide your own shirts; I'm not wasting any money on you to ruin a perfectly good piece of clothing." She said. Oh way to motivate your students, I thought sarcastically. "So seeing as none of you carry extra t-shirts, you'll start with a rough draft on a piece of poster paper."

"So now, groups," she pointed her hand at Pence. "Tubby, pick someone."

Pence grumbled something about pleasantly plump before choosing Hayner, who happened to be laughing his head off. Soon more and more people were picking each other to be partnered up. I scanned the room for a possible partner. In less than a second Olette and I made eye contact choosing each other as partners in our heads. I broke my gaze to stare at Sora. I knew already I wasn't going to be partnered with him. He would probably pick Roxas or, Namine if she was here. But as quick as a flash Roxas was picked by someone, he disdainfully went to go sit next to an over excited girl. Selphie. Oh boy, I'd hate to be him.

I looked over to Sora again. He was rubbing his head out of irritation. They had picked his first choice. More and more kids were getting picked off; I was starting to get worried that they would pick Olette before either of us could pick each other. The teacher then turned her attention to Sora.

She asked him to pick a lab partner. There were only a few people who weren't chosen yet, that included me. I looked up hopefully, wondering desperately if he'd actually choose me. When he turned back, I looked away fearing to be rejected.

"Kairi," He said. I stared up shocked, but quickly regained my composure by trying to look angry. Olette looked just as angry as I pretended to be. He laughed at my reaction, and went over to sit next to me. "Ha ha, you must be so mad at me! Oh man! I got you good!" It was amazing to hear his deep laugh. It thrilled me that he picked me; I was actually excited to do this project. I let my face turn into a scowl.

"Ugh, Sora! What the heck is your problem!?" I forced myself to say angrily. I pretended to hate the partner arrangements, but I couldn't help but smile the whole time. "I wanted to be with Olette!"

"I know," He laughed, nudging my shoulder, which sent thousands of electromagnetic waves down my spine. "I'm sorry, but your face was so funny." He continued to laugh mocking my reaction. I didn't care, as long as I was with him.

We both grabbed a textbook and started flipping through the pages. I knew I'd be the one doing most of the work, seeing as my partner is incapable of writing anything himself.

"Uh, Kairi?" He murmured. I turned to look up at him.

"Yeah?"

"You know I can't write… or draw," He started, but I interrupted.

"I know-"

"-I mean I could try but I really don't want us to fail…. "He said seriously. I smiled shyly, looking away.

"It's ok… even if it is your fault for sabotaging me." I laughed. "Just don't distract me." He broke out into a wide grin.

"Alright, deal!" He said.

"Make yourself useful, go get me a poster paper," I teased and he poked out his tongue, before jumping up from his seat to go grab one. I felt my eyes instinctively search for Roxas. He was staring at me intently before shaking his head wearing a smirk. I felt my face heat up. Jerk. I pulled out a pencil from my back pack, as Sora came back with the paper.

"So which one are we going to do?" I asked, pointing to the list of organ systems.

"You're the one drawing it," He said.

"Ugh, you're no help!" I cried.

"Ok, do this one!" He said, pointing at one in the text book, I felt myself frown. "What?"

"That's the circulatory system,"

"So?"

"So? That one's way too complicated, look at this, the red tubes turn into the blue ones…. Ah it's giving me a headache just looking at it," I complained. Sora nodded his head, flipping the page.

"You're right," He agreed. I looked around at the other groups of people; most of them had already started drawing. "Oh, how about the skeletal system?"

"That one looks too hard." I muttered.

"C'mon, you can do it!" He pleaded.

"But I'm really bad at drawing Sora-"

"Stop being so negative, I'm sure you can do it!"

"Noo, I can't!"

"Yes you can, you're a pretty good artist, Namine thinks-"

"I'm not Namine," I blurted out. He stopped, staring at me incredulously. I felt my cheeks burn. Crap, what kind of idiot am I!?!? Sora looked back down in the textbook, a frown on his lips.

"I know that," He mumbled. It was quiet for a few minutes, me glaring at the poster paper, and Sora flipping through the textbook aimlessly. I could tell he wasn't even paying attention to the book because he strayed past the Human Body section.

"I'm sorry," I murmured. "We'll do the skeletal system." His head snapped up from the book.

"You sure?" He asked. I smiled.

"Yep,"

While I was drawing, Sora was looking at the pictures of the skeletal system in the textbook. He pointed to the collar bone.

"That's what I broke!" he informed me. He told me how he broke it, and that it was all crooked now. He even let me feel his uneven collar bone. I knew I was blushing when I touched it.

During the whole class, we would always brush arms against each other. I always got nervous every time. His leg was even pressed against mine at one point, but I pulled away quickly. He teased me about being negative. I honestly thought he was flirting, so I attempted pathetically to flirt back. No one noticed. No one knew I had a crush on my partner, besides Roxas. And I hadn't planned on telling anyone else.

"What are you doing this weekend?" I asked casually. The school was having pupil free day on Monday. So it would be like three day weekend.

"Probably going to Riku's house," he said in the same tone.

"Your mom doesn't say anything?" I asked

"Nope." He replied simply. "What about you?"

"Um, well my friends and I were going to go hang out at the beach."I said. He knew my friends so there was no need to go into further detail. I desperately wanted to invite him, but I couldn't muster up enough courage to ask him. Besides, what would my friends say if he did come? They would find out instantly what my feelings for him were.

"Oh, is Namine going?" He asked sounding truly curious. My face fell, and heart stopped. Ugh, Namine.

"I don't know." I said honestly. "If her mom would let her."

"Oh," he said nodding, going back to look inside the text book. But that was the only mention of my best friend then it was back to Sora/Kairi time.

The whole period we were talking, I was getting too distracted from the sketch that Ms. Lockhart kept scolding us for being so behind. We asked each other questions like when our birthdays are, or what we were going to do for summer vacation. It was so wonderful talking to him. I actually felt for a moment that he was actually seeing me, more than a friend. The thought made my heart leap for joy.

* * *

I stumbled, but a pair of hands caught me around the arms. The skateboard went flying from underneath me.

"Ah, thanks," I mumbled. It was another skateboarding lesson after school. I was so caught up with the biology project that I nearly forgot about it, until Roxas reminded me. So now, we were here, in front of my house, watching me struggle to stay on the board.

"Balance yourself Kairi," He said firmly, pulling away from me.

"I know," I stammered, throwing the helmet off of my head. My forehead was glazed in a thin layer of sweat. The sun was beating against my skin only making me even stuffier. "Can we take a break now?"

He frowned at me.

"Please?" I asked sweetly.

"Fine,"

I ripped off the pads from my knees and elbows, plopping myself down on the patch of grass on my front yard. I patted the spot next to me, glancing at Roxas with a smile. He smirked shaking his head.

"I'm getting the skateboard," He turned, ran toward the middle of the street and scooped up the board I'd been trying to ride a few moments ago. I watched him as he ran back towards me. His blonde was windswept hair, swaying slightly in the wind, but keeping to its original shape. I giggled at the gravity defying hair. For as long as I could remember Roxas' hair always seemed to have a mind of its own.

"We've known each other a long time, huh?" I commented. It took a year for us to finally be friends. Jeez we're _so_ not social. He dropped his skateboard, and started to balance on it.

"We did," He agreed.

"Did you like it here when you moved?" I asked, remembering the scared looking kid from eighth grade.

"No," He admitted, laughing a little.

"It must have sucked being put into a new environment, not knowing anyone and-"I started but he interrupted me.

"What do you mean not knowing anyone? Of course I knew people, Sora and Riku," He said incredulously.

"Really?" I sputtered, looking just as surprised as him.

"Yeah, Sora's my cousin,"

I blinked. "Seriously? How come you never told me!?"

"I thought you knew," He laughed.

"Oh… I feel really stupid right now," I muttered, causing him to chuckle. He started to make jerky turns on his skateboard, making really loud screeching noises on the pavement.

"Ah it's ok, I don't really like to advertise that piece of info," Roxas said. I stared up at him. His expression turned hard.

"Why not?"

"I… I really hate being compared to Sora." He said softly. He stopped doing little tricks on his skateboard all together. "I hate being known as Sora's cousin… or Sora's friend. People say I look exactly like him-"

"-You don't," I blurted out. "I mean you do, but then you don't. You two are so different it isn't funny. It's the eyes," I said, my voice lowering almost into a whisper. "With Sora it's so easy to read his eyes and expressions, but with you, I have to stop and think about it. And sometimes I can sit there for hours trying to decipher it. It bugs the hell out of me, but I love it at the same time."

Roxas stared at me, and I did the same time, and we stayed like that for the longest time, until he cleared his throat.

"Yeah, well anyway," He started uncomfortably. I could tell he really wanted the subject to change. So I didn't even bother stopping him. "This isn't the first time I've lived here. I used to go to school here when I was little. Destiny Pre-school."

"No way!" I gasped. "That's the school Namine and I went to!"

"I know," He mumbled, looking away from me. His feet shifted around on his board nervously.

"What do you-"

"I know," He pressed impatiently. "Because that's when we first met."

"No we didn't, that was in eighth grade." I said seriously.

"No, it was in pre school, look I don't expect you to remember, I just thought I should remind you," Roxas mumbled his face turning a light shade of red.

"Trust me I would remember meeting you," I protested. But he shook his head.

"I knew you wouldn't remember," He said, more to himself than me. "I moved right after meeting you. So I would have been surprised if you could recall that time."

"Roxas I-"I started feeling a wave of guilt wash over me. For the life of me I couldn't ever remember meeting Roxas as a little boy.

"It's ok, Kairi just drop it, I wanted to tell you sometime," He admitted. "I wanted to tell you when I saw you in eighth grade, but I wasn't sure if it was you." He sighed, ruffling his blonde hair. "I feel better now."

I sat there and stared at him. His eyes held a grim expression, but a smile was placed on his lips. I didn't even know what to say. What could I possibly say without sounding stupid? _Oh I'm terribly sorry for forgetting the one moment I met you when I was a kid, Roxas!_

"Roxas go to the beach with me?" I blurted out. "I mean with me and my friends?"

"Uh… why?" He stammered. I know it was pretty random, and I felt like slapping myself. How is inviting him to the beach going to make anything any better. It's still not going to make me remember him. "Where did that come from anyway?!"

"I feel bad," I admitted.

"I told you to forget about it, so stop feeling bad." He said.

"But I'm sad now, I have to do something," I complained. He rolled his eyes.

"If I go, will you stop feeling guilty and just never talk about this subject ever again?" Roxas snapped sarcastically. I nodded my head enthusiastically.

"You're serious aren't you?"

I nodded my head again.

"Fine!"

I smiled triumphantly. "Ok, tomorrow! Make sure to wake up early."

"Don't talk to me for the rest of the day," He groaned sourly. He propped his skateboard on the sidewalk, put his hands behind his head and walked over to me. Then completely contradicting his previous remark, he talked.

"So how was Bio for you?" Roxas asked suddenly, dropping his hands from the back of his blonde head. His blue eyes were probing mine with honest curiosity, maybe a little too honest. And random.

"What do you mean?" I questioned suspiciously. It surprised me how quickly I recovered from that awkward moment. He scowled at me. Here comes the temper tantrum, I thought.

"Oh you know very well what I mean," He retorted. At first I thought he was seriously angry, just for a moment a flash of irritation crossed his eyes, but quickly replaced itself with curiosity again. I almost felt as if I caught something I shouldn't have. His lips pulled upward into a lopsided smirk. "You know, with your _lab partner_."

I blinked, suddenly feeling my face grow warm. "Ah, that," I started rather lamely. My hands reached up to my head to scratch it nervously (a nervous habit) but instead banged against my helmet. I inwardly scolded myself for being so absentminded before trying to make an intelligible response. "Well, it was ok." Nice Kairi, just _real_ nice, you _totally_ sounded sophisticated!

"Pretty sure it was more than ok," Roxas teased. He quickly dodged my attempt to punch him. He straightened his chest before flailing around looking like a little girl. "_Oh Sora, whatever is your problem!? I wanted to be with Olette blah blah blah!_ "

I stared at him wide eyed watching him prance around and make a horrible imitation of me. I honestly didn't know whether I should be insulted or scared at the fact that Roxas could look so incredibly gay. He stopped and turned around to face me, his expression was filled with anticipation, probably waiting for me to punch the living day lights out of him. But instead …

I burst out laughing. I did about all the laughs that there are, the giggle, the chuckle, you name it. It was so bad I was at the point of literally 'Rolling On The Floor Laughing My F***ing Ass Off'. I could feel Roxas' eyes on me, as I writhed around clutching my sides begging for oxygen in my lungs.

"You know… this wasn't the reaction I was expecting," He admitted sourly, while I slowly started to sober up. I let out a few deserved Ha's out, before stopping completely.

"I'm sorry…. "

"For what?"

"I'm sorry, but you looked like a complete idiot," I said, wiping some tears away from my eyes. He pursed his lips at me, and I poked my tongue out.

"What? No I didn't! I was mimicking you, so you're calling yourself dumb!" He protested defensively. I disregarded his statement, still marveling over the fact that Roxas, my Roxas could just let loose like that. I fell back onto the grass, and looked over at the scowling Roxas. His bottom lip was slightly sticking out in a pouting fashion, and his eyebrows were scrunched together in frustration.

"That was a perfect Kodak moment; jeez I wished I had a camera."

"Oh be quiet!" He snapped, dropping down next to me. I shook my head vigorously; I felt a smile growing on my lips again.

"It was so funny, ah, If only I had a time machine," I teased. His head snapped down to look at me. It was plain that I'd gotten him riled up. Score, point to Kairi!

"Will you _shut up_?" Roxas spat. I laid there pretending to think up an answer.

"Uh… no," I laughed.

"Shut up!" He commanded. I merely rolled my eyes.

"Make me, cup cake." I burst out laughing again. He frowned deeply, his blue eyes glaring me down angrily. Hey, he's the one that started this whole battle.

"Maybe I will," He blurted out. Before I could even register the fact that he responded, I felt something creep over me. I could feel the heat of the sun off of me. Even with my eyes closed I could tell something was blocking the sunlight from hitting my face. In less than a second I opened my eyes to come face to face with Roxas. He was staring down at me with a triumphant grin. His blue eyes searched mine for any kind of emotion. Hell I was too stunned to even feel some kind of emotion. Oh wait, being stunned is an emotion, never mind.

"Got something to say?" He whispered confidently. His breath beat against my face. And it didn't smell bad, oh god, I'll never look at winter fresh gum the same anymore! I felt my face boil, as the blood rushed to my head. My mind seemed to melt into a big pile of mush.

I shook my head slowly as I let my eyes trail across his face. His eyes filled with something I've never recognized in them before. But whatever it was I didn't ponder too much on it because I was soon preoccupied with how close his lips were. Jeez, I was blushing so much you could have fried an egg on my face.

_Think Kairi, C'mon, clear thoughts! You are lying down… with Roxas on top of you… oh god._

Oh for the love of god and all that is holy just have me Roxas-

_-No, no you idiot! C'mon think, think! Clear your head, you can do this, you're a completely sane, and controlled teenager!_

No, I'm completely crazy and unstable! Just put a girl out of her misery and-

_What the hell is wrong with you!? Snap out of it Kairi!_

If Roxas didn't get off of me in the next few seconds I was going to do something stupid, like spontaneously combust with all the heat that was radiating from me.

"You alright? You look a little…" He trailed off, blushing all of a sudden. Oh gee Roxas I wonder why I look like I'm about to die!?

"a-bluh-?" I sputtered out stupidly. Before I could recover from my moment of stupidity I heard another voice, one that didn't belong to Roxas.

"Uh, Kairi? Is this a bad time?" I peeked underneath Roxas' arm (the punk still didn't get off of me) to find Namine staring at us, pink in the face. As if on cue, Roxas sprang up. His cheeks now turned a deep red as he glanced from me to Namine, with a horrified expression. And before Namine or I could say anything he just bolted down the street, leaving his skateboard behind and everything. I let out a great big breath, still sprawled on the grass. I could still feel my face red.

I had a feeling that Roxas was out of sight already because Namine dropped down and nudged me in the stomach. Her face was dead serious, and still rather pink. She was wearing an expression as if she'd been caught doing something bad, liking looking at a dirty magazine or something.

Oh, please kill me!

* * *

**DUN DUN DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!! ... please?  
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	14. Chapter 13

**A/N: YEEESS!!! XD**

**I updated, and in the same month too! Yeah! Lol, I'm just sort of stoked. Well this week has been one of the best in my life...so far LOL**

**I saw Avatar! That movie is just so amazing O.O**

**Lol ever since then me and one of my friends have been trying to connect our hair to every tree we see screaming "Make zee Halo Jaaaaake!" Lol...(inside joke)  
**

**Oh and I beat Kingdom Hearts 358/2 days Ah! Finally, my life is complete xD. (spoilers...sort of if u still don't know the ending)  
**

**Xion took forever for me to beat... that bitch just wouldn't die, lol jk. She's cool, I cried at the end .**

**Ok back on track, I updateD~~~ hahaha, ok well this chappie hmm... well it's got SoKai and Roxiri yep, the usual. And it mentions AkuRoku...but not really :P and Olette/Axel O.o sort of, so yep, I hope you guys enjoy it, and thanks sooo much for the reveiws on the last chapter... I hope I awokened your rabid fangirl sides XD (er fanboy if your a guy :3)**

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Namine opened her mouth to speak but I held up my hand to stop her.

"Please, don't say anything," I said, using my other hand to cover my face. It was still burning as if I had a fever.

"But Kairi-"

"Please… I am completely mortified," I mumbled weakly, praying she would spare me from anymore embarrassing moments. I heard her stifle a giggle.

"Ok fine, but you'll tell me eventually right?" She asked, I could hear the hopeful ring in her voice. I sighed, moved my hand away and sat up.

"No, because there's nothing to tell," I said. Namine looked at me skeptically, raising one of her eyebrows.

"If you say so," She muttered doubtfully.

* * *

I was literally dreading Saturday. And when it came I seriously didn't mind just dying. Not only had I forgotten that I invited Roxas to the beach, but then Namine had to deepen my spirits by inviting Riku and Sora as well. I had enough on my plate, with Roxas' unexpected behavior. Ugh, seriously how was I going to face him now? If I ever thought I was uncomfortable with Roxas before yesterday, I was terribly wrong. And now Sora was going to be there!? By this rate I'm going to be adopted into the tomato family with how red I'm going to be at the end of the trip. I was so against this trip I even wrote a convenient 'Kairi's reasons why she hates the beach' list.

My mind was spinning and I felt like throwing up, until Namine pulled me out of my thoughts. We were both in Axel's (my scatter-brained cousin) van, waiting for him to start the car, while Olette was trying to get his attention (I seriously don't know what she see's in him.) He was the only one gullible enough to trick into giving a bunch of teenagers a ride to the beach.

"I still cannot believe you invited him," Namine said with a wide grin on her face. I immediately knew she was referring to a certain blonde haired boy. She flashed an even bigger smile at my frown, her teeth sparkling at me mischievously. I shook my head, and rubbed my forehead miserably.

"I can't either," I admitted. Namine burst out laughing.

"What were you thinking?" She asked incredulously. I shook my head again, my cheeks darkening significantly.

"I don't know! It just sort of came out," I said desperately.

"Was it before or during the whole make out session?" She asked slyly. I blushed even deeper if it were possible.

"It was not a make out session! Nothing happened," I protested defensively, but she merely rolled her eyes.

"Not from what I saw."

"Which was nothing!" I said hotly.

"What was nothing?" Olette said suddenly popping her head through the van door. She looked rather disgruntled and annoyed. I figured Axel must've snapped.

"NOTHING!" I nearly screamed. Olette and Namine exchanged looks before glaring at me darkly. I glanced from either of them nervously. I seriously did not like that look in their eye.

After a few minutes, they both ended up beating the truth out of me. And I mean literally, Olette held my arms back and Namine was on top of me threatening to spit on my face. So, I pretty much told them everything that happened during the whole skate boarding lesson, minus the bio lab subject and the conversation I had with Roxas before that.

"So that's when you came in," I finished in a hurried voice. Even just talking about Roxas made my face feel hot. It was like the only thing I could remember was how close his face was and what might have happened if Namine hadn't walked in.

"Ah, I see," She said slyly. Her lips were pulled upward into a devilish grin. I knew that smile would mean trouble. Before either of us could speak again, Namine's phone buzzed loudly. At first she looked as if she considered ignoring it just for the sake of our _rousing_ conversation, but she flipped it open. Namine was off in her phone mode, while Olette stared at me intently.

"I knew you had some kind of thing for him," She commented knowingly. Her apple green eyes probed mine as if she were x-raying my brain. I couldn't help but blush.

"I don't have a thing for him Olette!" I snapped, which was sort of true. "_I_ don't have a thing _for anyone_!" Complete and utter lie. It didn't even sound convincing to my ears

"But why _him_ Kairi? Of all the guys in school, why _creepy_ Roxas?" She asked completely disregarding my statement. I felt my blood boil angrily. What is with everyone? Why is it that every freakin' person thinks I'm like in love with Roxas!? I'm not! Everyone just assumes- incorrectly I might add, that I am. Am I giving out hints or signals for everyone to think I like him? No, we're just friends. FRIENDS.

But seriously when do friends pull a stunt like what Roxas did. His face was literally only a few inches away from mine. If Namine hadn't walked in, I would have done something really stupid. Like kiss him. Oh god, even the thought made me blush in the face. No. I like Sora. I should be thinking of kissing Sora, not Roxas. Seriously, my feelings for Sora ought to be deeper. I've liked him for the longest already. I can't just give up on him because some rather attractive, silent, quiet, dreamy blonde suddenly started to talk to you. Attractive? Dreamy? What the crap?!

I shook my head at the brunette in front of me, mostly to shake off my thoughts.

_Sora, I like Sora._ I said to myself fiercely. It took me a few moments for me to regain myself

"I. Don't. Like. Roxas." I said slowly through clenched teeth. I could feel Olette's doubtful eyes on me. "I don't like him." I repeated feeling more reassured. "Besides… He's not a creep. He's really nice- sometimes."

"Gee Kairi and I seriously thought it was just a crush, but you really are in love with the guy huh?" she teased. I smacked my forehead in frustration. I felt my face turn even warmer.

Thankfully before anything could get even more embarrassing (highly doubted it) Namine returned with a bright smile on her face. I gave her a questioning stare.

"Sora," She answered. I inwardly groaned. "He's says _they'll_ be here in a few minutes."

_They'll? _Holy crap.

"Oh," I muttered. This was going to be a long day.

True to his word, Sora, Riku, and to my horror Roxas arrived in exactly 'a few minutes'. Riku was looking really annoyed, wearing dark blue trunks and a black tank top. His hair was tied up in a low ponytail. (Sora decided it was time to tie that long hair back.) Roxas looked even more ridiculous he was wearing black swimming trucks with a thick looking checkered sweater. Seriously who wears a sweater to the beach on a hot day? As if reading my thoughts he shot me an 'I dare you' look. My face flushed and I averted my eyes, trying to look at anyone, anything but him.

Sora jumped in the seat next to Namine and showed off his trunks to her.

"Look Namine I bought these just yesterday!" He exclaimed, pulling at the ends of his shorts. They were a deep red, almost burgundy. And he was sporting them with a plain white t and goggles around his neck. "They reminded me of Kairi!"

Namine burst out laughing tugging at my hair. "They do!" She agreed. My face blushed even deeper than Sora's stupid trunks and my hair combined.

Roxas climbed into the van and sat down next to me. He smiled at me. I looked away, and tried to busy myself with my beach bag. It stayed like that for the longest. Only Namine and Sora seemed to be the one's carrying out the conversations. Riku looked pissed off, and Olette merely stared longingly out the window. Or in the direction of my dear cousin to be exact. After about ten minutes the fiery red head poked his face in the van.

"Are you guys ready yet?" He probed with a rather irritated tone. He was still a bit miffed once he found out all of my friends were still underage and half of the numbers were boys. Although he did take a certain interest in Roxas. I would have made fun of him if it weren't so awkward to even speak to him.

"Alright pipsqueaks make sure to buckle up," Axel warned through the rear view mirror. His green eyes gleamed maliciously in the direction of Roxas. "I don't want to bruise that pretty face of yours cutie!"

He winked and Roxas turned red.

* * *

We all somehow arrived to the beach in one piece. I don't know who in hell insisted upon Axel driving. (Oh wait that was my idea .) He drove like a maniac running every red light just to prove that he could. I was seriously going to be sick. After everyone jumped out of the van and collapsed on the ground in joy, we all grabbed our things and headed out to the beach.

I tried to stay as far away from Roxas as humanly as possible. Even if it meant being away with Sora. And where ever Sora was Namine was because he'd follow her around anywhere. So in the end I was walking with a big gap between me and the rest of the party. It wasn't until we hit the beach that Namine caught up with me.

"You know you really shouldn't ignore Roxas. You were the one that invited him in the first place." Namine scolded, once we were out of earshot. I looked over at the topic of her comment. His eyebrows were scrunched up in confusion and he definitely did not look like he was having a good time.

I sighed miserably. "What am I supposed to say to him? _Oh gee Roxas thanks a ton for jumping on me out of the blue the last time I saw you! I was having the best time of my life down there!"_ I hissed angrily. Namine stopped walking suddenly, and a smirk graced her lips. It took me a moment to realize how embarrassing of a remark I made. My cheeks started to burn instantly.

"I didn't mean it like that!" I protested, flailing my beach bag around. "I was- I was being sarcastic!"

"Right, of course Kairi," Namine nodded her head enthusiastically just to mock my sarcasm. I opened my mouth to argue, but closed it and turned away. I trained my eyes on the floor. The sand on the beach flicked and flew as I stomped around. My sandals were getting drowned in the white sand, and I could feel it creeping in between my toes. Great. Another reason why I hate the beach.

Our group was already covered in a thin layer of sweat by the time we picked out a spot to lounge around. An area big enough to set up a beach volleyball game. Wonderful. Let me just bust out my 'I hate the beach' list now. And also there was another group of familiar faces already nestled there, such as Selphie (much to Roxas' disdain), a boy named Wakka, another named Tidus, Hayner, Pence and a bunch of other people from school. Jeez, did the whole school happen to want to come to the beach this weekend or what?!

I rummaged through my bag, pulled out my blanket and threw it on the floor. Before I could do so much as sit down on it, a hand clamped around my arm.

"What do you think you're doing Kairi?" Namine asked incredulously. I turned to look at her, shock still evident on my face.

"Well, I was about to sit my butt down on the blanket…" I trailed off, hoping she'd get the hint to let go of my arm. Her eyes narrowed.

"No- you have to get in the water." She said simply, starting to tug at my arm.

"I… I can't!" I pleaded.

"C'mon! And take off your clothes! Don't you want to show off your bathing suit," She winked. I felt myself blush as I shook my head violently.

"No I don't! Quit it!"

Namine sighed, and dropped her arms.

"Sora! I need your help! She's resisting!" She called over her shoulder. Right on cue, Sora appeared by her like a little faithful puppy. It was sort of unnerving. He smiled evilly at me, which at first freaked me out and then made me nervous in the teenaged hormone way. He peeled off his shirt and sauntered over to me.

I didn't know what to do! What would you do if your secret crush was walking over to you completely shirtless? I squirmed on the spot, looking from Namine to Sora and back again.

I couldn't even react when I felt Sora wrap his arms around me and pull me over his shoulder. I was in bliss, cloud nine, La La land, you name it. Sora was holding me! He was carrying me away with him to his kingdom where we'll get married and- No wait! My surroundings finally hit me. I was at the beach. Sora was carrying me…. Sora was carrying me to drop me in the water! It felt as if a light bulb lit up in my reaction part of my body.

Sora was already ankle deep in the water before I started to throw a fit.

"Hey let me down! Don't throw me! Just… gently" I screamed, while he threw his head back and started to laugh.

"Sorry Kairi!" He chuckled before letting me go completely. If you seriously thought I laughed it out and pulled him down with me. You were so wrong. It would have been the only sensible thing to do right? No, well being me, the insufferably large idiot who was prone to get into some kind of accident that I am, I didn't.

Once I hit the sea floor, which wasn't that deep, I swam back to the surface. Water was stuffed up in my ears, my nose and my lips were cracking from the salt. I was really not a happy camper. Not to mention my only pair of extra clothes were drenched.

"I-I s-so h-hate you r-right now!" I shivered, wading back to the shore. Sora was paddling behind me, with Namine laughing by his side. I didn't realize she was following us.

"Kairi the purpose of coming to the beach is to get into the water at some point," She reasoned. Sora nodded his head eagerly in agreement. Ugh. Just looking at them made me mad. I couldn't even come up with a sarcastic remark because I suddenly felt something sharp stab me in the foot.

"Oww," I yelped, falling down. I hit the wet sand on all fours and (just my luck) another wave came lurching back towards the tide. Before I could have walked (or crawled in this case) away a rather large wave caught me pulling me back towards the water. I swear it was just like a scary movie. You know when the killer has got the girl, drags her by the feet while she's screaming at the top of her lungs and clawing at the floor.

When I got back to the tide, my foot was stinging like hell. Whatever it was that cut me, the salt water was only making the pain ten times worse. Not to mention the rest of my body. It felt like someone had slapped me. I guess that the result of getting caught in a wave. Stupid ocean.

I quickly glanced down at my foot something green was sticking out at the bottom. A piece of glass. "Ugh, great. Where's my list I need to add this to it."

"Kairi!" I heard a yell in the distance, only to see a blonde figure bobbing her way towards me. When she got closer I swear to kingdom hearts that she looked like she was going to faint.

"Ah! Ohmigosh you stepped on glass!" Namine yelped just as loudly as I had. Funny, people would have thought she was the one that was injured. "Sora-"She started but Sora nodded. He looked sort of green, like he'd been sea sick. I'd find out later that he just really hates looking at blood.

He leaned down towards me and held out a hand.

"C'mon I'll carry you back." He said. I blushed deeply.

"What? NO!" I screamed, louder than before.

"Kairi, we need to take care of it now, or it will get infected," Namine interjected knowingly. She sounded like my mother. I rolled my eyes.

"Come on!" Sora said. I sighed, before taking his hand. He pulled my arm over his neck and I wrapped my other one around his neck too. He lifted both of my legs and held them while I clamped them around his waist. "Just hang on."

That proved to be a troubling feat. I felt like fainting and not because of how deep the cut was. I could feel his warm sticky skin through my t-shirt and his messy brown hair kept getting caught in my mouth.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled sadly, after we were halfway to our spot.

"It's not your fault."

"Still, I'm sorry." He pleaded. I sighed in a defeated manner.

"Ok."

Once we finally reached our spot on the beach, Namine had gone off to go fetch a life guard with a first aid kit. I saw Roxas stare at me worriedly. Oh great.

"What's wrong with her?" He said tensely.

"She just stepped on some glass." Sora said calmly.

"Glass?"

"Yes glass!" I snapped. I buried my head in my knees. Stupid glass. Stupid ocean. Stupid beach trip!

* * *

After I was all patched up, I spent most of my time on my blanket watching the others play in the water. Even if I wanted to join them I couldn't now. The day that had gone by was so hot my clothes dried off easily in under an hour. Olette and Namine would take shifts on who would keep me company which only pissed me off. Roxas was the only other person who was not in the water, but I tried my hardest to ignore his presence. I would envelope myself in my iPod, or sometimes pretend I was asleep until someone would keep me company besides him.

I was about to really fall asleep when I felt someone's wet body sit beside me.

"Kairi!" Namine's voice rang through my ears. I opened my eyes. Her wet blonde hair was dripping around the sides of her face and her eyes were red because of the salt water.

"What?"

"I'm sorry… I ruined the trip for you." She said quietly. She gave me a guilty look.

"Its fine, I wouldn't have gone in the water anyway." I reassured her but she didn't look very convinced.

"You look miserable though," She complained, placing a cool wet hand on my forehead. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm not."

"You sure?"

"Positive."

Namine looked at me doubtfully as if trying to dare me to confess.

"What is it?" I asked. Her questioning stare broke out into a smile.

"I want some ice-cream."

"Sea-salt ice cream." I said with a wide grin on my face. It was an old tradition that we always bought the bitter sweet Popsicle at the beach. I lifted myself up into sitting position and then stood up. "Let's go!"

"Can you walk?" Namine looked at me uncertainly. I scoffed.

"I'm not cripple for kingdom hearts sake!"

She smiled before nodding, and we both set out to the concession stand. To be honest, my foot still hurt like hell. But I wouldn't tell her that. Sure I might have been opening my cut over again. But I wanted my ice cream. I wanted something good out of this stupid beach trip. Something that couldn't embarrass me to death. Ice cream was innocent. Ice cream never let me down. Ice cream was good.

"That would be 5000 munny, "The adolescent employee said after ringing up the ice cream. I dug through my pockets and pulled out the munny and handed it to him.

"5000 munny?!" Namine exclaimed angrily. "Are you serious?! That is a total rip off! Who do you guys think you are?"

"Uh… Miss- I'm just a cashier-"

"I don't care! This is like… like some kind of federal crime!" She argued. I rolled my eyes and grabbed my ice cream.

"Namine let's just-"I started but she put her hand up in my face.

"I'm not paying for an ice cream that's _5000 munny_!"

"Miss, it's just an ice cream."

"The best ice cream there is! And Kairi and I have been loyal customers and consumers of this frozen delight so I think we should deserve some kind of treatment!" She said lowering her voice down. I glanced over my shoulder and I could see the people in line behind us were staring at Namine suspiciously.

"Miss this is just the Destiny Islands Food shack, not some kind of restaurant." The boy said, now sounding really annoyed. His face turned a little red, and the pimples on his cheek were white with strain.

"Yeah well, I'm the customer!" Namine snapped. "And the customer is always right!"

Seeing as this argument was going no where, I quickly told Namine I'd wait for her by the condiments area. She waved me off, still enwrapped in her heated discussion. So I stood there next to the ketchup, and onions, watching people fix their hot dogs to eat. I even saw one person drop the weenie in the sand. He looked around to make sure nobody saw (didn't see me) before wiping it off on his shirt and sticking it back in his bun. I swear I could have been there all day, eating my ice cream and observing all the weirdo's walking by. If only there weren't any disturbances. And I mean the crack head way.

"Hey," A familiar voice greeted me. I swear I felt my blood boil angrily, even before I looked up at him. Seifer was grinning down at me, with his stupid face, and stupid beanie filled with stupid crack. He was wearing merely trunks that seemed to sag a bit and his black beanie that seemed to cling on him wherever he went.… Ugh gross.

"Um… hi," I mumbled trying to keep the disgust from my voice. As much as I hated this guy I couldn't be rude he didn't do anything… yet. I tried to distract myself by stuffing the Popsicle in my mouth. I looked toward the concession stand line to see Namine still arguing with the same employee about the expensive pricing. _Oh jeez, just deal with it Namine!_ I thought angrily.

"So, how are you?" He asked sweetly, leaning his elbow against the countertop. That was a serious sign for me to walk away regardless if Namine was with me or not.

"Err- swell," I managed to say before attempting to bolt out of there. But he sidestepped in front of me. He put his hand on the counter a few inches from me, smiling wickedly.

"Aw, c'mon Kairi, what's the hurry?" Seifer asked. "I just wanna talk."

"I really should go…. "I said nervously, trying look anywhere but his chest that seemed to move closer to me in the last second. I sidled to the left and tried to sneak away but he put his other hand, trapping me. Holy crap, how did I even get myself in this situation!?

"Look, I know you're probably a bit pissed off because of the last time we talked. You don't have to be that way with me-"He began but I interrupted shoving him roughly away from me.

"The last time?! The _last_ time you tried to hit on me!" I shouted. "Of course I'm going to be _pissed off!_ I don't like you! I never did, you stole my peanut butter and jelly sandwich when we were in third grade!"

Seifer backed up staring at me, looking completely baffled. As if I just smacked his mother or something. His beanie was sloping off to the side, showing his tangled sandy hair.

"I had to sit there all through lunch watching everybody else eating their sandwiches, while you're off garbling mine down!"

"That was years ago-"

"And might I mention how you teased me all through middle school because of my glasses!" I screamed, waving my arms wildly. I almost dropped my Popsicle. "Do you think I'm stupid?!"

He blinked several times before cracking into a grin. I seriously wanted to smack him. "I think you're hot." He said. If I wasn't angry at him I would have been in a blushing fit.

"You're such a crack head," I said angrily. "Just leave me alone!"

"Aw, quit being such a tease!" He laughed, closing the gap between us. He snaked his arms around me, pulling me up against his chest. I almost choked at the smell of him. His whole body reeked of tobacco and cheap cologne. Stupid crack head. He laughed harder as I tried to struggle from his grip, kicking and screaming, even whacking him with my Popsicle. The more I tried to fight the more he held on.

"If you don't let go of me now I'm gonna… "I trailed off trying to think of something to back up my threat. But honestly what in the hell could I do besides beat him to death with my ice cream? Where are the stupid life guards when you need them?

"You're going to what?" He mocked. Before I knew what I was doing, my knee flew up and rammed into him. And I mean literally. He pushed me away, bent over, and cupped himself, groaning in pain. I stepped back still marveling at what I did. Seifer threw his head up to look at me, his eyes narrowed with a mixture of annoyance and pain.

"What the hell?" He gasped, staggering a bit. "What the hell is your problem?"

"What's _your_ problem?"

"I was doing you a favor for your sorry freak ass-"He started.

"I should seriously file a sexual harassment report on you," I muttered, feeling my lips pull up into a smile. Seifer glared at me with so much hatred that I don't even think his glares over the past years could amount to as much as this one. I spun around and started to walk back towards the concession stand line to see if Namine was done with her complaining. But then all of a sudden I felt something grab my arm and roughly tug me downward. Seifer had me down on the floor in a second. His face was twisted with fury.

"No one get's away with this, I'm Seifer-"he began angrily.

"Seifer the crack head, yes, yes I know," I finished for him, but it only made him even more furious. I knew I shouldn't have kept pushing his buttons after that kick in the groin but I couldn't help it. He turned a deep shade of purple. My face paled and I was glancing wildly, praying for Namine would hurry up. I needed someone. Anyone!

"You stupid bit-"

"Is there a problem?" I looked up to see Roxas staring down at us, with his usual cold stare. I felt myself sigh in relief. Yes, rescued from this pot head. Seifer shrunk back letting go of my arm. I sprang up from the ground walked next to Roxas. I didn't realize I was clutching his arm, for dear life.

"It's alright-"I started, but the stupid pot head interrupted only making the situation ten times tenser.

"-Nah," Seifer grumbled staggering up to his feet. "Just playing around, right _Kai_?"

I think the whole nickname thing must have triggered something in Roxas because his expression instantly flickered from anger to rage. Before I could even blink he shoved Seifer into the counter. The ketchup and mustard bottles flew off the table and cracked on Seifer, spilling the yellow and red goo all over him. People that were in line were glaring at us as if we were a bunch of rowdy teenagers. And I merely stood there, gaping at Seifer and then Roxas, and then back again.

He sauntered over to the unconscious Seifer, his fist still clenched. He only took too steps before Seifer's posse appeared in front of him. Fuu and Rai both glared at Roxas with utmost loathing and Vivi stood there looking uncomfortable. I could hear Seifer's groans as he stirred. I tugged on Roxas' arm, but he wouldn't budge. It was almost as if he were daring the other two to just try to fight him.

"Roxas," I mumbled. It took a few tries before he finally gave in. He nodded his head, and I lead him back to our beach spot. I didn't even wait for Namine (she was now arguing with the manager), which surprised me because I found myself alone with Roxas. This was the one thing I wanted to avoid this whole beach trip, and I end up getting caught up in it.

"The nerve of that guy," I heard him mutter angrily. I peeked up at him. His eyes were still there usual cold hard surface. And his lips were pulled down into a grimace. I stayed quiet, and closed my eyes, hoping that he'd take a hint and go away. But when did I ever get what I wanted?

I heard him sigh loudly. "You're really quiet."

I hummed in agreement.

The sun was starting to set and the atmosphere was starting to become awfully familiar. The wind started to shift in direction and the temperature was creeping downward to the point where I started to shiver. I let go of Roxas' arm forgetting that I was still holding on to it. We reached our spot and I was about to throw myself on my blanket but Roxas stopped me.

"Say something." He pleaded.

I blinked and then looked down.

"It's cold." I mumbled stupidly. He sighed, and pulled away. I almost let out a big breath in relief at his disappearance but he came back now clutching something, only to make me catch my breath again. A sweater. His sweater to be exact. He handed me the black and white checkered sweater and turned away.

"Take it," Roxas murmured. I stared at the sweater for a long time and at Roxas' back. His blonde hair was blowing in the wind and his back stiffened at the cold breeze. If I squinted hard enough I could have seen the goose bumps on his arms. What an idiot. But I still smiled none the less.

I seriously considered bundling myself up in the inviting jacket but something caught my attention. Whispering. I spun around and scanned wildly for the source. Olette was quietly murmuring in Pence's ear while pointing at me. And I could hear Hayner laughing his head off in the background, which soon was accompanied by a loud slapping sound.

"_Gee Kairi and I seriously thought it was just a crush, but you really are in love with the guy huh?"_

"It's ok, I'm fine," I said, giving it back to him.

"No, just take the sweater!" He shoved it in my arms again.

"You need it more than I do!" I retorted throwing the sweater at him.

"I can see your teeth chattering Kairi!" He snapped. I glanced back at Olette and the gang. They were all staring at us back and forth like a tennis match. I knew I was causing a scene, but I didn't want the damn sweater. Not anymore.

"Yeah well, I can see your goose bumps." I hissed.

"Just take the damn sweater," He said angrily, wrapping the stupid jacket around my shoulders.

"I don't want it!" I screamed.

"Why not!?"

"Because-… Because I don't want to get teased!" I burst out, pushing him away. The sweater immediately fell off my shoulders and into the sand. He stared at me wide eyed. His expression started off as shocked, then slowly turned blank. A mask.

"Fine," He snarled coldly, snatching his sweater from the floor. He dusted the sand off, and glared at me icily. "Fine." He repeated.

What is wrong with me? I felt a stab of guilt as I saw him throw his jacket on angrily. I looked over at Hayner, Pence and Olette who were all trying to hide their snickering. And that's when I realized I'd still get teased later no matter what I did. So what have I got to lose now? I shook my head and found myself reaching out to him. I pulled on his jacket.

"What?" He snapped. I flinched slightly but continued to tug.

"Can… Can I," I stammered, glowering at my sandals. "Can I please borrow it?"

Roxas didn't say anything. I peeked up at his face. He still looked rather angry. There was a small crease between his furrowed eyebrows.

"Borrow what?" He asked innocently. His lips were twitching into a smile. Now I knew he was messing with me.

"You're sweater! Give it to me!" I demanded, stomping my foot. Roxas studied me, with a small grin on his face, before the grin cracked into a wide smile. He ruffled his blonde hair before peeling off his sweater.

"Here then," He threw the sweater at me and I caught it. In no more than a few seconds the sweater was wrapped around me. It was so warm it was not funny. The inside was made out of wool, and when I slipped my arms through the sleeves I felt like I was sinking.

"Thanks…" I mumbled, burying my face in the hood. He looked away.

"-What kind of idiot leaves her sweater behind?" He grumbled mostly to himself. But from the color of his cheeks I could tell he was pleased. When he turned away from me, I quickly sniffed the inside. Ah, winter fresh. It was then when the aroma hit my nose that I remembered how close Roxas had been yesterday. Everything I tried to forget that happened yesterday seemed to be flooding back inside my head.

A big gust of wind blew by, blowing off the hood from my head, and making my hair a tangled mess. Not that it wasn't already. I shoved a few strands into place before he could notice what happened. But suddenly I felt something warm on the side of my cheek. I looked up to see Roxas brushing my face with my fingertips. His cold eyes were melted, and he was smiling.

"Mop head," He laughed, taking a step closer. I felt his other hand on my waist. But it didn't really matter, the fabric of the sweater was awfully thick. His breath tickled my nose, making me want to sneeze but I held my ground. My face started to heat up, as I realized how close he was. I don't think he realized it and if he did he was acting 'cool' about it.

He put a strand of my burgundy hair behind my ear and smiled. It made me uncomfortable and uneasy. I could feel my face burn angrily. He let his hand linger behind my ear, before finally dropping it at his side along with his other hand.

"Why so jumpy, Kairi?" he teased, his warm liquid sapphire eyes lighting up with laughter. I gulped, looking away embarrassed. Why was I feeling even quieter around him? I mean I was talking to him fine just a few seconds ago, right?

"What do you mean?" I stuttered, looking back at him, but looked away again. It felt like staring into a bright light. I heard him sigh.

"Seriously, _what_ is wrong with you?" Roxas finally said. His face was as light as before, and his eyes held something else. Hurt possibly? I felt myself frown and my stomach churn uncomfortably. How could I possibly talk about what happened the last time we were together? It was just way too weird.

"Nothing," I muttered, looking down at my sandals.

"Tell me," He pressed. He knew something was bothering me, god I hated that! I looked back up into his face; his eyebrows were scrunched together in frustration.

"I… well-"I started, it was too hard to stare at his eyes so I lowered my gaze until I hit his neck. There dangling around his neck was a silver chain connected to some sort of pendent. I squinted for a better look until I figured out what it was. The sight almost made me gasp out in shock. How could I have not noticed it before?

"A key…" I mumbled, stepping closer to him, and pulling the necklace out from under his shirt. And sure enough a little dainty key with a golden square handle shined in the sunset light. I pulled the pendent up to my face. The word _Kairi_ was engraved on the side of the handle. I heard Roxas cough uncomfortably but I didn't bother looking back at him. My eyes were too focused on the necklace he was wearing.

"Where-"My voice felt weak suddenly. I slowly shifted my eyes from the pendent to Roxas' face. He was looking at me with a weird expression. "Where did you get this?"

He hesitated, looked away and then back. "I got it from you."

**A/N: CLIFF HANGER ALERT!!! CLIFF HANGER ALERT!!! XD**

**Well... DunDun duhhhhhhh!!!**

**Until next time, I'll probably update soon... I already wrote out the next chappie to it... so Idk.**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!  
**


	15. Chapter 14

**HEY!!! I updated, yay! I was going to update yesterday but I was having trouble with the document manager thingy mabob ugh... It still makes me mad! Anyway, this chappie is sort of short (sorry)... And there are a couple of flashbacks, they're italicized... So please don't get confuzzled! **

**Right now Roxiri is totally owning Sokai!!! YESS!! Lol ok well, enjoy this chapter, I'm sorry about the cliff hanger on the one before this one ^^' hehe. Also if you're wondering I still have more in store for Roxas' mysterious past!!! *insert loud creepy music now* Muahahahaha**

**I don't own Kh BLAH BLAH!!**

"I got it from you."

_You._

_You._

"_**You** have to wear all the time ok?" Namine said seriously. She dropped the black velvet box into my hand. I opened and nearly jumped in shock. There, placed neatly on the cushion was a dainty looking key with a golden handle and silver body. Connected to the key was a rather long silver chain. "It matches mines." She said, pulling something out from under her shirt. And sure enough there was a matching key, although the colors were reversed._

_I pulled the key pendent closer to my face and noticed something engraved on the side. My name._

"_Kairi," I whispered. "Oh Namine! I'll wear it all the time!"_

"_Don't lose it!"_

"_I won't!"_

x.X.x

"_Kairi dear, will you help that boy over there, he seems to be having trouble walking," the teacher said absently, turning her attention to another group of kids._

"_Ok, Miss," I groaned. The little boy she mentioned was blonde, and he really did look like he was having trouble walking. So I put my crayon down and started making my way towards him. I could hear Namine scramble around with her coloring box before following me like a puppy._

"_Hey, you!" I called out to the boy. He looked up at me shocked. His bangs covered most of his face but I could see the startling blue of his eyes. He sniffled, and tried to take a step back but ended up falling over. I couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle._

"_Stop laughing!" He screamed, jumping up to his feet. Namine hid behind me, her face buried into my back. I shook my head and stepped closer to him._

"_Your shoe laces are untied silly," I laughed bending down to his shoes. They were bright red and the bottom looked like they had built in lights._

"_I… I'm-"_

"_Do you want them double knotted?" I asked, looking up at him. His lips were trembling nervously and his face was a bright shade of pink._

_He nodded his head. I went back to tying his shoes._

"_There, all done."_

"_T-thank-"_

"_I'm Kairi!" _

x.X.x

_I saw him again, that little boy the next day. He didn't look too happy, in fact he was bawling. I wanted to see what was up but Namine was begging me to go. In the end, she went off to the lunch tables herself. An awaiting Riku, sat on the bench grinning at her evilly. I'd take care of him afterwards. My attention turned back to the same crying blonde boy._

"_What's wrong?" I asked. _

_He looked up at me surprised and slightly embarrassed. He sniffled a bit, wiped his eyes and looked at me. The startling blue color always seemed to make me gasp._

"_Mamma, says we're going to move." He cried. _

"_You're moving?" I repeated, trying to think of a way to stop him from crying. "But maybe you'll like it over there."_

"_No!" He said defensively. "I hate it! I wanna be here!" I stared at him incredulously. His face was tear- stricken and he wasn't bothering to wipe them away anymore. I sighed and plopped myself next to him._

"_Hey, c'mon stop crying!" I pleaded, pulling his hands away. I used the sleeve of my sweater to wipe his eyes. "Are you a boy?"_

_He nodded shakily._

"_Boy's are not supposed to cry," I said._

"_B-but I'm a boy!" He said suddenly. I nodded._

"_So stop crying!"_

_After a few sniffles, and hiccups the blonde boy finally stopped crying. His eyes were red and puffy and his cheeks were slightly pink._

"_I wanna stay here," He said finally. His voice quivered as if he were going to start with the water works again._

"_But your mommy and daddy will be real sad if you don't go with them," I told him_

"_Yeah I know…"_

_I glanced over at Namine who was sitting with Riku on the lunch benches. He was taking her crayons and breaking them. I knew it would only be a matter of time before Namine started to cry._

"_Hey, do you see that girl over there the one with yellow hair," I said pointing at Namine. She was yelling at Riku. The boy nodded. I reached behind my neck and untied the necklace. "She's my bestest friend in the whole world! And she gave me this."_

_I pulled the necklace to his face. His eyes sparkled at the little twirling Key pendant._

"_It's cool," He commented. I smiled._

"_I want you to hold on to it for me," I said. His blue eyes widened with shock, as I thrust it in his hands._

"_But," He said uneasily, as he held it up cautiously in front of his face._

"_Don't lose it! And don't tell Namine, she'll get real mad," I warned, my eyes glancing back at Namine hiding behind her coloring book as Riku threw her broken crayons at her._

"_Kairi… "_

"_When you come back again, you can give it to me," I said, placing a smile on my lips. The boy looked as if he wanted to cry all over again, but he straightened up, and tied the necklace around his him._

"_Ok," He said, wearing a determined expression. _

"_Promise?" I asked holding out my pinky. He looked at me for a second; shock still filled his blue eyes. But he smiled, and hooked his finger with mine._

"_I promise."_

x.X.x

"Promise…"

The sun had already sunk, and all that was left in the sky was the remaining colors of the sunset.

"You- sort of gave it to me," Roxas said softly, pulling me out of my thoughts. He was dangling the chain in front of my face waiting for me to grab it. I took it from him and laid it out on my palm.

"I remember this," I mumbled softly, shifting my gaze back down to the pendent. I twirled it around in my fingers still marveling over its sparkles. It was still in the same condition from the last time I saw it. "I remember Namine being so angry at me for not wearing it. I told her I lost it." I let out a small laugh. "I told her that so many times, I started to believe it myself."

Roxas breathed out heavily as if he put something really heavy down. I lifted my eyes to his face as if just noticing he was there.

"You," I whispered, staring at him wide eyed. "You were that boy! The one that cried me river about moving." He nodded once, looking more uncomfortable by the second. I could suddenly see the resemblance. The blonde hair, blue eyes, the smile. Why hadn't I ever realized it?

A sudden rush of anger flowed through me as I watched him stare at me expectantly. "Why didn't you tell me anything? Why would you wait two whole years to even throw out hints that we've met?" I burst out furiously. Roxas looked slightly alarmed but the guilt in his expression was more evident.

"I didn't _know_ how to tell you! I was so nervous- I still am, it's hard to just- to talk to you about this!" He said desperately. My fingers clenched tightly around the necklace.

"I'm your friend-"I started but he cut me off.

"I know that, but until recently I couldn't even talk to you at all. And that was only because you're a stubborn person that kept pushing. If you hadn't done that we probably wouldn't be here talking about this." He said. I glared at him as his eyes were pleading. I wanted to be angry. I really did. And I tried really hard to be.

"This was important to me," I muttered, looking back down at the key in my hands. "How could you just keep it to yourself all this time? Did you just not care about my feelings?"

"Get real Kairi!" He snapped. All of a sudden his expression shifted to a rather annoyed one. His eyebrows were knit together in frustration and his jaw was clenched tight. If it hadn't been for the guilt still shown in his eyes I would have seriously thought he was angry. "Of course I care."

I opened my mouth to argue but he held up his hand to stop me. With the same hand he reached up to his head and ruffled his hair. He let out a great big sigh.

"Look, Kairi, I wanted to give it back I really did," Roxas said. I could hear the sincerity in his voice. He started shuffling his weight on either foot. He suddenly seemed real nervous and if I looked hard enough I could see a faint blush appear on his cheeks. "When I saw you, back in eighth grade, I wanted to run up to you and just cry all over again. I'd found you. But I wasn't sure if it was you. (With the glasses and all). When you introduced yourself I knew. And I knew you didn't remember me. I didn't know how to approach you after that or what to say. So I tried to forget about it and stay quiet."

"But-"

"I'm sorry it's taken me so long but a part of me didn't even want to let go of this," He admitted wearily, before looking down at his hand and blushing immediately. Mine had somehow found its way to his while he was talking. "I felt close to you, even if I was watching you from a distance." I felt my face heat up at that statement, even if he didn't mean it that way. "Kairi, you still don't realize what you mean to me, do you?" He asked. My head felt way too heavy to even move. My heart was aflutter and I was seriously suffering from emotional overload.

"Roxas…"

"You were there even if it was for a stupid reason. You saw me when no one else didn't." He was about to say something else but before he could utter another word I tackled him into a hug. I hated myself. I hated myself for ever forgetting someone like him. Like Roxas.

I didn't know what the hell I was thinking or what was running through my head at that moment. All I really knew was that I wanted to be close to him. I wanted to comfort him.

"I'm really sorry, Roxas." I mumbled against his chest. The smell of suntan lotion filled my nose and I could hear the '_thump thump thump'_ of his rapidly pulsing heart. "I feel like such an idiot!" My arms around his neck tightened. I moved closer until I was literally pressed up against him. If I hadn't been feeling like crap I would have seriously died.

I could feel Roxas' stiffened figure loosen up. His arms wound around me and pulled me in for a deeper embrace.

"You're not an idiot," He whispered. His voice was next to my ear. I don't know if it was how close it was or what but I heard something different in his voice. Almost like a husky sort of tone. I think that's when it sort of dawned on me how 'intimate' we were being. How close we were. Our bodies. The sweater I was wearing was still unzipped so I could feel Roxas' chest pressed against mine. We could have literally held a super thin magazine in between without dropping it. I froze up once I felt his breath beat against the side of my head blowing a few strands of my hair. _Argh winter fresh_.

"Kairi," He breathed. And let me tell you how annoying it was to feel chills running down my spine when I heard him say my name. I liked it more than I should have which only bugged me more. "There's something I've always wanted to tell you."

"Tell me, then" I pressed closing my eyes. Even if I was as stiff as a board and wanted desperately to get out of this situation, I couldn't move. Or more like my body wouldn't _let_ me move. I was stuck in limbo with what my body wanted and what my mind was commanding me to do. So much for commanding.

"I-"He was nervous again. I could tell from the way he was trembling so much. It was so bad that it was to the point where I started shaking. I heard him sigh. And I shivered involuntarily.

He started again this time with determination in his voice. "Kairi, I really-"

"HEY!!! Roxas, Kairi get over here we want to play a last game of volleyball before we have to pack up!" Called a voice I soon recognized as Hayner. A few seconds after his outburst I heard a loud slapping noise, Hayner's whining, and Olette going on a rampage. Roxas quickly shoved me away, and I jumped back as if I was just electrically shocked. Both of our faces were beet red.

"Seriously you are _such _a retard!" Olette choked out angrily.

"I don't understand Olly-"Hayner cried, rubbing his cheek. Olette stomped her foot.

"Oh don't you Olly me! You always ruin everything! I'm never gonna get a chance to witness something like this ever again! UGH!" She groaned, stomping away. Hayner watched her go with a frown on his face before turning back to us.

"So are you guys in?" He asked. Why they would play volleyball in the dark? I hadn't the faintest idea. Maybe they enjoyed getting hit by the ball and playing blindly in the dark. Roxas looked at me expectantly. I shook my head, feeling the humiliation drown me. How could I have been so stupid?! Everyone was probably watching us!

"I'm injured," I said with a smile pointing at my foot. Hayner scoffed, crossing his arms.

"Oh boo hoo you're such a baby, fine then." He snapped and then turned to Roxas. "So how about you then?"

I looked at him, and he looked back uncertainly. I gave him a small smile of encouragement.

"Aw can't go anywhere without your _girlfriend_?" Hayner teased, but looked nervously at Roxas afterwards. Even if Hayner had the guts to mess with Roxas sometimes, it was almost like a death threat unless you were Riku.

"Hey!" I piped up, glaring at Hayner. I'd already suffered enough blushing attacks; I did not need him to make things worse. "What's that supposed to-"

"Yeah," Roxas cut me off, wearing a lopsided smirk. I stared at him incredulously. Hayner looked just as surprised as me. Roxas looked from Hayner to me. When his eyes met mine his smile grew. "That's right. _Girlfriend."_

It wasn't just that Roxas agreed but he was acting so- well calm about it! I hated that! How could he have been so cool one minute and all awkward the next?! Why couldn't I be like that!?

"C'mon," He said warmly, clutching my hand. "We should re-bandage your foot."

_Re-bandage my foot my ass!_

I plopped myself down on my blanket and I pulled down Roxas with me. It took me a moment before I realized our hands were still entangled with each other. I quickly pulled my hand away and stuffed them in the pockets of the sweater.

_This trip sucks. I'm never going to the stupid beach ever again!_

Why does everything have to be so damn awkward around the opposite sex?! Stupid Roxas and his stupid face! Was he really going to say what I thought he was?! It was so unlike him. But then again, what do I know? I'd completely forgotten I'd met him when I was little. This was just too much for one day. I swear when I get home I'm just going drown myself in the shower. Why wait? I'll just use the ocean right now!

"Are you mad?" Roxas spoke suddenly, pulling me back from my thoughts.

"You know you really shouldn't tell people that kind of stuff," I grumbled still sort of red in the face.

"Tell them what?" He asked innocently.

"You know what I mean!" I snapped. But then sighed. "I'm not your girlfriend Roxas."

He looked at me thoughtfully before smirking.

"But you're a girl right?"

"Yeah!"

"And you _are_ my friend correct?" He asked sweetly. I rolled my eyes.

"Yes. Sometimes." I agreed.

"So sometimes you're a girl that's my friend?"

"So?" I tried to sound angry but the corners of my lips pulled upwards.

"So that makes you my girlfriend," Roxas finished, he was blushing now. I was probably blushing too. But I made a face and tried to disguise my shock as a disgruntled expression.

"Very cute, Roxas," I mumbled sarcastically.

Shortly after I made that comment a very happy Namine came strolling down to our spot carrying a rather large box that had the words 'frozen' and 'fragile' printed on it.

"Hey guys!" She chimed joyously, dropping down next to me.

"Wow your back? How long has it been? I think I see a few gray hairs on you Namine!" I teased earning a nudge on the shoulder. "What's in the box?"

I looked back down to the package, and at Namine. She flashed me a devilish grin.

"Oh nothing, but a whole box of Sea-salt ice cream!!" She nearly screamed out the last part. I swear everyone playing volleyball all turned to look at the box.

"How did you…" I trailed off.

"Well I just got my money's worth!" She said looking incredibly pleased with herself. "I gave the manager a piece of my mind and even had the decency of calling up the Ice cream industry and telling them my whole situation!"

"You didn't!" I gasped in disbelief. Namine just nodded her head enthusiastically.

"I _so_ did! And you know what happened next! They offered to deliver me a box of these sweet popsicles from heaven every month for free!"

"Wow… I'm impressed. And a little jealous!" I laughed, as she ripped open her box. She peeled off two wrappers for the ice cream and popped them in her mouth.

"Yeah… I can get used to this!" She mumbled happily through the ice cream. Roxas and I both helped ourselves to some too. I needed some well deserved ice cream. The last one I had got contaminated by the local pot head.

I guess this might have been one of the only good things out of this stupid beach trip. Thank you Namine!

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!! Thanks for reading!**


	16. Chapter 15

**Hi! I updated!!! Yay! XD I know you guys must be tired of these disclaimers... I basically say the same thing over again ^^'**

**Oh oh, before I go ranting about how lame this chappie is... I SAW PERCY JACKSON...AND THE WOLF MAN!! AHHH!!!... (wolfman was scaryO.O')  
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**ANYWAY... So the first thing I wanted to bring to the reader's attention was that I hate this chapter. Enough said. Ok, moving on, I think this is going to be the last chappie in a long time that's going to have some sort of comic relief in it... I think I should change the genre of the story because after this chapter it gets more serious... More teen angst drama crap that we all love! Oh and warning, there's more Namine in this one...What the hell is Namine hiding?! I don't know... Nah, I do..lol  
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**Roxiri is tied with SoKai!!! NOOO!!! Lol xD actually I'm not even keeping track anymore :P  
**

**I DON'T OWN KH BLAH BLAH BLAH... DON'T SUE!**

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That next week rolled by rather smoothly, with all the events that happened like Namine getting her next box of ice cream shipped to her house, Sora finally getting the cast taken off of his arm, to my skateboarding sessions resuming, a lot more frequently I might add. (Not that I minded.) I spent more time than I could ask for with Sora in biology class. It actually felt like we were really close friends now.

And to make things even better, my prescriptions finally came in the mail by Wednesday! Even if the stupid optometrist shipped contacts instead of glasses, the thought of seeing properly kept me overjoyed. After a few failed attempts of inserting the lens in my eyes, with me trying to psych myself out, and Namine shouting encouraging words, I finally adjusted to them….sort of.

Things were really starting to look great for me. Or at least I thought it was. It was just my luck that after I escaped one awkward episode I was thrown into another situation that was unbelievably worse.

x.X.x

"Stop blinking you look fine!" Namine reassured me with a light smile playing across her lips. We were both on our way to school, me struggling with my stupid contacts and Namine clutching her sketchbook tightly, because it wouldn't fit in her bag. Her blonde hair was tied back into a ponytail, her bangs clipped back. It was the usual way she wore her hair on a windy day. I, on the other hand, let my auburn hair fly loosely around my face. I could feel it sticking to my cheeks with static.

"I don't feel fine," I grumbled with a frustrated tone. I tucked my hair behind my ears and closed my eyes. "It just has to be windy when I'm wearing these stupid things!"

Stupid contacts, I thought miserably. It took me all morning to put them in my eyes without freaking out, just to come outside and find out that the wind was blowing a storm outside.

"Aw Kairi, its ok, just take them off during the school breaks," she tried to reason. I glared at her darkly. Just the mere thought of having to poke my finger in my eye to fish out the stupid lens, sent chills down my spine. What if I accidently scratched my eyeball and I started to bleed all over? What if I actually removed my entire eyeball, like in Kill Bill and had to wear an eye patch for the rest of my life? I shivered involuntarily.

"It took me forever to put them in; do you know how long it'll take to remove them? I'd rather die than gauge my eyes out!" I cried out incredulously. Namine rolled her blue eyes and huffed.

"Honestly Kairi, you speak of contacts as if they're some kind of torture device," She said.

"You have no idea," I mumbled.

"You can't keep your contacts on forever, you know," Namine murmured.

"Why not!?"

"They could dry up and pop in your eyes," She said matter of factly. My face paled and I swear my stomach dropped and fell through my butt.

"R-really?" I asked uncertainly. I couldn't tell if she was lying to me or telling the truth, because she had the same smile plastered on her face.

Before Namine could speak again, a big gust of wind blasted by flipping open her sketchbook. All of the loose papers of sketches scattered all over the place, threatening to float farther away. Namine groaned angrily, scurrying over to pick up the papers quickly. A piece of paper flew near my foot and I bent down to pick it up. The side that was facing me was blank so I flipped it over to reveal a very complex looking sketch.

There was a boy; well at least I thought it was a boy, with a thick black blindfold covering his eyes. But that didn't really matter because his white bangs were long enough to cover his eyes. His lips were full, pulled upward into a cocky smirk, and his jaw was chiseled. He was wearing a heavy looking black cloak with zippers that matched his blindfold. Even underneath the black cloak I could tell he was muscular looking, with his broad shoulders. His long white hair (well it was only a black and white sketch) flowed past his shoulders in a stiff manner, almost as if it were gelled down.

I screwed my eyes together trying to look closer at the sketch. This person looked familiar…very familiar. I almost gasped out in shock once I realized who the drawing was supposed to be. What the hell?

"Kairi!" I heard someone shriek bringing me back to my senses. I blinked a couple of times before staring straight into the eyes of a frantic looking Namine. Her papers were tucked safely into her sketchbook, all but the one I was holding in my hand. Her eyes, wide as saucers, flashed between me and the drawing. She clenched her teeth. "Please… Give me that… now." She said slowly and carefully, taking a step towards me.

I took a step back watching her warily. I didn't get why she was acting like this.

"Namine, I don't understand," I started glancing back down at the drawing. "Why in the hell do you have a picture of _Riku_ in your book?" Of all people why Riku?

Namine's pale cheeks flushed as she shook her head hastily. She took another two steps forward and made a grab for the picture but I pulled back quickly.

"Just give it back!" She snapped angrily, her face was slowly fading into a deeper shade of red. She made another snatch at the paper but I dodged.

"Tell me, Namine!" I bit back, taking a couple of steps back. She didn't keep up, but merely stood there glaring at me, biting down on her lip. I'd never seen Namine pout this bad, the last time was when I told her I'd lost her necklace, even though I really didn't. I could have laughed out loud at how incredibly funny she looked, but to be honest I was way too confused to even utter a single giggle.

After a few more painfully agonizing, quiet moments, Namine's expression fell into one of worry.

"Kairi! Please!" She begged. She glowered at me pleadingly. I rolled my eyes before handing it back to her. She snatched it and stuffed it inside her book rather roughly. After snapping her sketchbook shut, she started walking briskly with me closely on her tail.

"Are you going to tell me why you have-"

"Just drop it Kairi." Namine cut in harshly. I blinked, feeling absolutely bewildered and a little hurt. In all the years I've known Namine I'd never heard her use that tone with me. It felt weird. I closed my mouth and walked quietly beside her, my head bowed. She must have sensed my silence and sighed loudly.

"Look I'm sorry Kairi, I just-…" She struggled, slowing down in her step. "That was just something personal. I didn't want anyone to see it."

"Not even your best friend?" I hissed.

She closed her eyes and flinched. I felt bad instantly. "Don't be mad…Please?"

I think that's when I truly realized that there were things Namine would never tell me. There were things I would never tell her. And it hurt worse than being hit by a basketball in the face, or stepping on a piece of glass or even seeing your crush flirt with your best friend. What had our friendship come to? Could we ever be completely honest with each other?

I sighed heavily.

"I'm not mad, sorry… let's just forget this happened."

"Ok." She agreed quietly.

After about a few minutes of complete silence, well not complete silence, the wind was a rather loud background noise, we were back to our original conversation topic. Contacts. But I couldn't help thinking about Namine's strange behavior in the back of my mind.

x.X.x

We were late to school because of Namine's little episode with the Riku drawing. I still couldn't fathom why she would ever want to draw him. I mean besides his good looks, there was really no other contributing factor to him. He could sometimes be a jerk, less whenever he was near Sora and Roxas. He even used to be a bully towards Namine, when we were in elementary school. While I was dealing with my own problems (SEIFER) he would harass her.

"Well Kairi, glad you could finally join us." My homeroom teacher sneered nastily. I shot him a dirty glare when his head was turned before running off to sit down. Roxas flashed me a small smile when I sat down beside him. My face flushed slightly. Ever since the beach trip, you could say I've been a bit more aware of him. Whenever we were around our group of friends I would notice him always being a bit closer to me than anybody else. It didn't really bother me; it was just a little unnerving.

"Roxy," I greeted, smiling back shyly. His grin instantly melted into a disgruntled frown.

"You're late," He snapped, irritated. I stifled a giggle at the resentment he displayed towards his nickname I dubbed him.

"Wow, no '_Hello Kairi'_ or '_How are you, Kai?" _ I asked sarcastically. He rolled his eyes.

"Hello Kairi! So how are you?" He mocked.

"I'm doing great!" I said cheerfully, causing his frown to deepen. I turned away from him and pulled out my necklace, twirling the key pendent between my fingers, glancing furtively at Roxas. His eyes were immediately following my movement. I tried to suppress my growing smile. "Say, Roxas, do you notice anything different about me?" I chirped sweetly, blinking my eyes. It should have been a big tip off because I wasn't squinting or crashing into anything. He pulled his eyebrows together thoughtfully.

"You're uh, wearing the necklace?" He said uncertainly. I shook my head grinning.

"Nope. C'mon Roxas I started wearing this Sunday!" I exclaimed. His eyebrows furrowed deeper.

"Your hair looks like it's been rubbed by two balloons?"

"Ugh! Not even!" I protested, flattening my hair instantly. He broke out into laughter at my reaction.

"Kairi! I don't know, just tell me!" Roxas pleaded.

"Contacts, Roxas, I got contacts!" I snapped. His eyes widened as he studied my face. I felt myself flush again because of his intense gaze.

"No glasses," He stated.

"Nope," I agreed.

x.X.x

First period breezed by faster than the raging wind outside. Namine was acting completely normal and as if nothing happened this morning between her and I. It was really weird. I did notice a few things though. Namine clung to her bag as if her life depended on it, and I caught Riku sneaking a few glances at her. What the hell? Something definitely wasn't right. But true to my word, I dropped the subject and tried to not bring it to her attention.

Sora, on the other hand, looked deep in thought and hardly paid Namine or anyone attention. It was like he was in his own little world. I met Roxas' eyes and he looked just as confused as me. He stared at me expectantly with his 'what the hell is going on?' expression. I shrugged my shoulders.

It didn't even feel like a whole two hours when the bell for nutrition rang. Namine sprang from her seat quickly and bolted out the door.

"I'm going to be in the art room!" She called back to me. Something was wrong! She never really went to the art room during nutrition, only during lunch.

So feeling a little put off, I walked over to the benches where our group usually ate lunch. I soon spotted, Olette, Hayner and Pence. Ugh, they'll have to do for now, I thought. I wasn't exactly their biggest fan after each of the three had somehow found a way to tick me off, Pence breaking my glasses, Hayner's interruptions, and Olette's constant teasing. But I still went to sit at the bench. I took a spot next to Olette who said a brief hello, turning back to Pence and Hayner discussing their plans for the day.

So here I was alone sort of while Namine was off in the art room again, and Sora was probably with Riku and Roxas trying to follow her. I rested my hand on my cheek and leaned against it, wondering what to do for a whole period of recess. I needed a place to think. What could Namine be trying to hide from me? And how does Riku fit into the equation? I decided taking a trip to the library was my best bet, but once I was getting up to leave a flash of blonde appeared. Roxas dropped in the seat across from me, throwing his backpack on the table.

"Where are you off to?" he asked quietly. Oh screw the library! I dropped my bag back on the floor and took a seat again, and smiled.

"Well, I was going to the library."I said.

"You were?" he muttered. "You're not going anymore?"

"Nope," I said simply. He looked confused.

"Why not, if it's because you feel bad for me then just-"

"No it's not that Roxy," I laughed, making him scowl. "I have no reason to go now that you're here." Total lie. He gaped at me, his rock hard eyes softened for a brief moment before returning to their original state.

"Oh, right." He murmured, looking a bit flustered. I turned my attention back to the people in the cafeteria. Sora wasn't here neither was Riku.

"Where's uh-"I started.

"Sora?" He finished, wearing a smug smile. "He's with Riku and Namine. She's trying to teach them how to paint their moods." So Sora was finally back into his flirt with Namine mood. Great.

"That's cool… I guess," I said trying to keep my face from falling, but I think Roxas noticed already.

"It was Riku's idea anyway, Sora really wanted to come here," He said hurriedly. But I knew that he was lying.

"Sure it was," I sighed, frowning now. I looked away, trying to distract myself from Roxas' guilty stare. Another thought crossed my mind. "Why are you here?"

"What?" He said.

"Why aren't you with them?" I asked.

"Well, I don't always have to be-"

"They are your best friends right?"

"Yes but-"he started, his eyes crumbling the hard surface to reveal his soft vulnerable side.

"Don't you want to be with them?" I questioned completely forgetting about my self pitying moment. Roxas blinked and looked away. It stayed like that for quite a while before he stared back at me.

"No, not with _her_ around," He said slowly. "I'd rather spend my time with you then with them." I gulped, trying to unclog that bulge in my throat to talk. I blinked trying to refocus my mind, my whole body for that matter. I had this sudden feeling that the world around didn't exist. His face turned slightly pink, and then my face rose in temperature. My mind instantly flashed into replay mode to that scene on the beach, just before Hayner interrupted.

"_Kairi, I really l-"_

I kept that moment locked in my brain, refusing to ever visit it again. It was just way too embarrassing. It was even more embarrassing to have Roxas here in the flesh staring at me, while I thought about it.

Scrambling my thoughts and words together I pulled my lips down into a frown.

"You know, Namine isn't as bad as you make her seem. If you weren't Sora's cousin I'd pummel you right now," I said trying to keep a straight face when his face whitened in horror.

"No, I wasn't intending to offend-"he began but I raised my hand, silencing him.

"I know you weren't," I giggled. "I was just messing with you."

Roxas scowled. "Psh, whatever," he muttered, his eyes moving away from mine and landing on the table.

"But if you must know," I paused, as he looked up from the table hopefully. "It's the same with me."

"What?"

"I feel the same," I said, beaming causing him to flush deeply. He mumbled something that I couldn't hear and looked as if he were trying to suppress a smile. But after his struggle his lips stretched upward a fraction of an inch.

I let out a last breathy laugh, before looking down. Something suddenly flickered back into my mind.

"Hey Roxas, you said Riku was with Namine right?" I asked. He pulled his eyebrows together and stared at me curiously before nodding his head.

"I did." He agreed quietly. "I also said Sora was with them too."

I pursed my lips.

"Do you think… anything is going on between them?" I said slowly, finding it hard to form the question. It was still weird to process that thought.

"With Riku and Namine?"

"All three of them, it's just- they've been acting weird." I started, thinking back to the time in class. Roxas, too looked like he was thinking it over.

"They have been… I've never really seen Sora so…" He faltered trying to find the words to describe him.

"Emo?" I supplied with a small smile on my face. Roxas grinned, nodding his head.

"Namine's freaking me out too," He started suddenly looking very serious. I leaned in closer over the table to listen. "When I was with them in the art room she was- it almost felt like she was trying to hide behind me. She looked like she was going to have a fit when I told them I was going down to the lunch benches."

"She tends to do that… when she's under pressure," I muttered. But what could she have been under pressure about? "It was like this morning, I found a picture of-"I suddenly stopped, clamping a hand over my mouth. Whoa now, I couldn't just tell him what happened this morning! That was between me and my best friend, who is acting completely insane today. Roxas stared at me expectantly, waiting for me to finish, but I shook my head. He shrugged his shoulders in an indifferent manner but I could still see the curiosity burning in his expression.

Once the bell had rung, both of us jumped up from our seat and walked to our next class. But before Roxas could move another step he toppled over. Several people around us started laughing. I helped him up and patted of the dust on his clothes.

"Ugh quit laughing!" He literally yelled at me. It was true I was about to burst out into fits of laughter as well. But I bit my lip and held it back. I shook my head trying to shake off the giggle, looking away from his face, which was a deep shade of red. My eyes locked down on his black shoes. The laces were sprawled apart in an untangled mess.

"Your shoe laces are untied silly," I laughed bending down to his shoes. I could feel his shocked expression on the back of my head as I grabbed his laces.

"I… I'm-"He started but I interrupted.

"Do you want them double knotted?" I asked, looking up at him. He was staring at me as if I had a third eye on my forehead. I didn't know what was wrong with him. But after a second he blinked and nodded. So I went back to tying his shoes.

"There, all done." I muttered, rising to my feet and dusting my hands off together. I looked up at him, and his surprised expression. Holy crap, it felt like déjà vu. I felt my face blush instantly.

"Whoa… I've done this before haven't I?" I stuttered. He merely nodded. "Except you had cooler looking shoes back then." I burst out laughing when he blushed deeply.

x.X.x

When we had finally walked inside the classroom, I found Namine sitting in her seat looking rather uncomfortable. She was staring intently at her desk and didn't even lift her head up when I took a seat next to her. I looked around the class and my gaze automatically fell on Sora. He was staring at Namine with a rather hopeful expression. It seemed as if Namine and Sora were in their own little tense bubble. I glanced to the person sitting beside Sora. Riku. He was sitting back on his chair, his hands crossed behind his head, wearing a smirk that mimicked the sketch perfectly.

"Namine, is something wrong?" I asked gently, placing a hand on her shoulder and giving her a little nudge. She seemed to wake up from her trance slightly. She looked up at me; a forlorn expression plastered across her face, and shook her head.

"I'll tell you later." She mumbled miserably.

"Are you sure? Or are you just saying that?" I probed curiously. Namine shook her head again, before furtively glancing behind her shoulder to catch Sora still staring at her. Her face paled and she looked away.

"No, I'll tell you later," She said firmly. "Away from eavesdroppers."

I didn't question her after that. But there was one thing I was sure of, whatever was bugging Namine revolved around Sora.

x.X.x

I walked into Geography class still sort of puzzled at Namine's behavior. She was so jumpy and whenever she saw a boy within a 3 foot radius she'd cringe behind me. The last time she acted like that was in third grade when a girl named Larxene started to bully her. It took her forever to tell me that. I was really starting to worry. What if Sora did something to her? What if she's traumatized for life? What if she's recently developed a phobia towards boys? What if she's on something? Or worse what if she was hanging with Seifer in his drug lair (the boy's bathroom) with his all-you-can-smoke pot?

I shook my head. No way, Namine would never do something like that. She's scared of breathing in her inhaler when she gets an asthma attack; I doubt she'd be sucking in all that drug crap. But still, there was something obviously bugging her and I wanted to know now.

I took my seat next to Sora. His arms were crossed over his desk and his head was laying over them. I knew immediately something was up with him as well because he just screamed misery. That hopeful expression he was wearing in the previous period had completely faded into a sad one.

"Hey Sora," I said timidly. He grunted a response, burying his face in his arms. Ok this was seriously starting to get scary. Sora was never all depressed like this. "Are you ok?"

Ugh what a stupid question! Of course he wasn't ok! He was miserable! Namine was freaked out. And I was completely confused!

Sora didn't respond. I sucked in a big breath and reached out towards his hand, which was hanging loosely at the edge of the desk. He didn't even move when I placed my hand on over his. I squeezed it slightly trying to get something out of him. But he wouldn't budge.

Finally after a few more squeezes, I sighed and pulled away. But before I could move, Sora's hand grasped mine tightly. My heart literally skipped a beat. His head snapped up suddenly. His expression was glum, both eyebrows pulled together and his lips frowning.

"Kairi," Sora muttered quietly. His tone was rather dejected, reflecting his tanned face. "Tell me something."

I gulped, feeling my face slowly start to warm up. His hand was definitely not loosening up.

"Uh huh?" I urged trying to steady my voice, but it shook a little. Sora didn't notice and if he did he didn't show it. He was looking at me fiercely which only made me feel even more uncomfortable. It was usually only a look he reserved for Namine.

He hesitated, looking around the classroom before leaning in closer to me. My breath kicked up a notch. He was only a few inches from my face.

"Kairi," He started seriously, so seriously it didn't look right with him. "Does… does Namine-…" He stopped looking down. But then sighed in frustration before continuing. "Does she like… Riku?"

Ok I wasn't expecting that I'll admit. My eyes widened as saucers. I had to blink a couple of times to make sure this was reality and not a dream. Was I hearing correctly? Namine liking Riku? Just the thought was completely absurd. Riku used to bully Namine all the time. Why would she like him?

I couldn't help but laugh out loud. The whole class turned to look at us in the back. The teacher looked up from his desk with a rather disgruntled expression. He shut his book closed.

"Is there something you'd like to share with the class Kairi?" He asked. I flushed before shaking my head. The rest of the class snickered before continuing what they were doing. Sora groaned in disgust.

"Don't laugh!" He hissed.

"I'm sorry- it's just that… That is so crazy!" I uttered out, another laugh threatening to burst out again. Sora rolled his eyes at me.

"She's never said anything to you?" He asked a pleading look in his eyes. I sighed.

"No, I doubt she likes him," I said. Sora looked at me sharply as if searching for doubt in my statement.

"You sure?"

I nodded.

"Hmph, well that doesn't make sense." He cried out, more to himself than me. "Why would she do that?"

"Do what?"

"Namine! I was walking into the art room and I saw her and Riku- they were-"But before he could finish the teacher's voice rang in our ears.

"You two! Stay after class," He snapped angrily. After class was over Sora and I had to write lines on our notebooks. The same line over and over again 100 times. And if we didn't finish he'd assign us another set of 100. My hand was already aching after the seventy-sixth 'I MUST NOT GOSSIP DURING CLASS.'

x.X.x

I ended up being late to seventh period. The teacher didn't really mind and I was thankful that I didn't have to go down to the main office to get a tardy pass because my stupid Geography teacher was too big of a jerk to write me a pass. Namine was waiting for me, an anxious look on her face.

"Ok Namine, what is that you wanted to tell me?" I asked curiously, turning my chair to face her. She shushed me, looking over her shoulder before turning to look at me.

"Later," she said quietly.

"Namine, no one's going to hear us," I reasoned. But she shook her head firmly. Her decision was already set. I rolled my eyes. "Ok fine then, later. Afterschool?"

She blinked before nodding slowly.

x.X.x

When the dismissal bell finally rang, I bolted out of the door with Namine closely behind. My mind was so determined to find out what was wrong with her, I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and I nearly crashed into someone. Roxas to be exact. He was leaning against the door frame, clutching his skateboard, the same small smile he greeted me with this morning. I felt my face flush again. How could I have forgotten about skateboarding?

Roxas must have noticed my guilty expression because his smile melted slightly.

"Is something wrong?" He asked, springing away from the door, to let me and Namine through. I glanced from Namine to Roxas. She was biting her lip, occasionally looking over her shoulder. I knew that if I dawdled too long she'd literally ditch me.

"Sort of," I mumbled. "Look Roxas I don't know if I can make it for skateboarding right now-"

"You sure?" He cut me off. I noticed disappointment flicker in his eyes, but before I could utter out an apology it vanished. "It's ok, I can come by later if you want."

"No, you don't have to-"

"Kai, it's fine," He assured me before walking off. I glared at his retreating figure. Persistent idiot, I thought to myself. Something latched onto my arm and was pulling me away. It took me a moment to realize that it was Namine steering me out of the school.

"Are you going to tell me-"I started but she yanked at my arm harder. I cringed. She apologized hurriedly.

"Not yet," She said sharply. It was like that for the whole walk home. I felt like I was some kind of dog on a leash with Namine pulling my arm. I bet I wouldn't even have an arm left once we got home. Every time I would try to open my mouth to speak she would shush me, hurrying forward. We were practically running at this point.

I tried to read her expression but her back was facing me. Her blonde ponytail whipped me in the face occasionally because of the bopping of her step and the harsh breeze.

When we had finally reached my house, I tried walking to my front door but Namine pulled me back, leading me to her house. She opened the front door, revealing her mom grinning at us warmly. I opened my mouth to say something but she grabbed my hand and dragged me up to her room. I didn't even have a chance to say hi to her mom before she threw me inside the door.

"Sit down," Namine said

I stared at her back for a moment before complying. I flopped on her bed watching her as she locked the door and spun around quickly. Her face was clean of all emotion.

I opened my mouth to speak again but she held up her hand to stop me, going over to sit down on the computer chair. It was a nice lazy boy chair. I think that was the only thing I loved in Namine's room. Anyway, back to the point. Namine grabbed the sketchbook near her and placed it on her lap, fiddling with the spirals. She blinked slowly, and took a deep breath before speaking.

"Sora asked me out." Namine said simply, leaning back against the armchair. She laid her sketch book on her lap, looking over at me. I stared wide eyed, my mouth hanging open.

"Well what did you say!?" I asked suddenly, cringing at the impatience in my voice. She looked back down at her sketchbook, a pencil now in her hand.

"I told him I wasn't sure yet, I'd get back to him later." She said making a face. "Maybe that was mean of me." I wanted to slap her right then and there. How could she say something like that? If she's interested then she's interested, if not, then don't get his hopes up.

"Well, what are you going to do?"I said slowly, trying to push away those thoughts of inflicting damage on my best friend to the back of my head. She gripped her pencil, opened the book and began to sketch.

"I'm not sure, "She admitted, her expression miserable. "What do you think I should do?"

"It does not matter what I say, it's your choice," I said coldly, making her glance up from her sketchbook to me again. She pulled her blonde eyebrows together in confusion.

"What's with the attitude Kairi?" Namine asked. Crap, I thought, nice going Kairi, you've just given yourself away. I tried to come up with a reason for my 'attitude'. But for the first time my mind was blank, and everything came out like word vomit.

"Look, we're not little girls anymore," I snapped, looking away from her, anger welled up in my chest. "You can't keep coming to me for all of your problems."

"Kairi I-"

"No! I'm sick of this!" I cried, throwing my hands up in the air. "When will you ever think for yourself? It's always Kairi this, Kairi that! I'm tired Namine."

"Kairi," she repeated. I could hear the astonishment and hurt in her voice. "Where is this coming from?" I clenched my teeth, still refusing to look at her.

"From years of holding in my feelings," I said which was partly true. I heard her book drop to the floor, making a loud thud and her orange pencil rolled over to my feet. All of a sudden I was in the arms of the blonde, her face buried in my shoulder. I didn't know what to do, so I just sat there, glaring at the floor.

"Kairi! W-why? Why haven't you ever said anything?" she questioned furiously, her voice weakening by the second. Great, she'd start crying if I didn't do something fast. It took me a long moment before I returned the hug, and pulled away.

"Namine, you should do what you want." I said, feeling incredibly guilty. "I'm sorry I burst out like that I just-"

"Oh Kairi!" she cried," I hate it when you're mad, at least warn me you'd yell at me!" I nodded curtly, as she took the seat next to me. She gripped my hand and squeezed it really hard. After a long moment of silence I spoke up again.

"So what are you going to do?" I probed, regaining my irritated mood

"I guess I will go out with him. He sure seems like a real nice guy." She said, getting up to pick up her abandoned sketchbook. "Don't you think so? And plus I think he likes me." _Uh, no duh, Namine!_

I opened my mouth, but then closed it quickly. I couldn't talk bad about Sora, my beloved Sora. I couldn't tell her he was a jerk, just so she wouldn't go out with him. I liked him too much. "He's," I paused, and then sighed. "He's a really sweet guy."

I hated myself. At this moment, I truly hated myself. I'm such a push over, a stupid, stupid idiot. Why hadn't I asked him? Why hadn't I told him I liked him? Maybe he would be asking me instead of Namine. Maybe. Or, maybe not.

I looked back at Namine, she looked slightly pleased with herself but I could still see there was something else troubling her eyes.

Eventually, I told Namine I was going because I was going to be late for my already late skate boarding sessions. Namine glanced at me nervously before nodding. I knew there was something she was still keeping from me. And it was bugging the hell out of me. But I didn't ponder too much on her secret because I was feeling completely and utterly like a big pile of crap.

This was just great, I thought angrily. _Stupid Kairi, always has to be the one to suffer because she loves her friends too much _Why do I have to freakin' care so much? Why can't I be the bad friend and just go with my feelings? _Damn it Sora. I hate you!_ Why doesn't he see me? Why does he only see _her_? Why does he even like _her_? Besides her looks what else does she have going for her? She's shy, she's not even that smart and all she does is hide behind that stupid sketchbook of hers! Do I have to fit that description in order for the guy of my dreams to notice me? What has the world come to?

I inwardly slapped myself.

"What the hell is wrong with me?" I cried out angrily to myself. Namine was my best friend, and I was thinking badly of her. I felt disgusted with myself. How could I just stand there and actually believe all that crap, even if just for a moment?

Once I reached the curb and I sank down on the edge, sat down and pulled my hands to my face.

I didn't even notice when Roxas sat next to me. My face was buried into my hands, and I had no intention of removing them. He cleared his throat, making me jump in surprise. I reluctantly moved my hands away.

"Why so down, Kai?" He asked, using a consoling tone. _Oh no, not the consoling tone._ Seriously there was no predicting Roxas.

"What do you want?" I muttered, wiping away my traitor tears before he saw them. He pulled his eyebrows together and his pale icy eyes melted into sympathy.

"Are you okay?" He said no trace of laughter in his voice.

"Just perfect," I sniffed sarcastically.

"Do you," he paused." Want to talk about it?" I turned over to stare at him, he was being serious.

"No, go away," I snapped. I know I was being rude, but I really didn't feel like being around anyone. If I could I would totally ditch these stupid lessons and run off and lock myself up in my room. He disregarded my comment and continued.

"I could," He stopped, taking a seat next to me. "I could listen if you'd like." This reminded me annoyingly of another time he comforted me. This was not happening again.

"No, go away," I repeated angrily. I glowered at him desperately wishing the phrase 'If looks could kill' were real.

"It's Sora isn't it?" He guessed, guessed correctly that is. My lips trembled involuntarily at his assumption. How in the freakin' hell does he always know everything that's wrong with me?

"It-It's got nothing to do with him!" I scoffed.

"Liar," He mumbled.

"I hate you." I muttered angrily, making him smile slightly. But his face fell instantly again.

"Please Kairi, tell me what's wrong?" He pleaded. I begged myself not to look at his eyes, but I failed. As soon as I saw them I fell victim to his own personal truth serum. "I hate seeing you like this." He batted his eyelashes (in a totally masculine way) that had the same affect as the famous 'puss in boots stare from Shrek'.

"Ok," I sighed giving up. He smiled smugly. "Namine told me that Sora asked her out." I breathed out, after holding my breath for a very long time.

"Hmm, yes, I heard." He agreed nodding his head wisely. I hit the back of his head.

"You knew, and still made me tell you?!" I asked incredulously.

"Yes, but I wasn't sure that was what was troubling you." He admitted. I was puzzled for a moment.

"What else would be troubling me?" I looked up at him confused. His face flushed instantly and he averted his eyes.

"I- I don't know, whatever goes through teenaged girls' minds!" He snapped back angrily at my stray from the subject. I didn't know why but I had some feeling that he was thinking of something that happened during our beach trip. But I didn't think about it too much, I was busy with other things on my mind. "So how are you feeling?"

"Like crap," I said bluntly.

"Maybe you should say something to Namine." He suggested. " She's your friend I'm sure she'll understand."

"It's not easy to just- to say that to her, after holding everything in for so long." I muttered darkly. "Besides I want her to be happy." Even if my happiness is going down the drain.

"But don't you get to be happy for once?" He probed innocently. His knack for always bringing up the things in my head immediately flared my anger. I scoffed.

"Who says I'm not happy." I countered. He looked at me skeptically, one of his eyebrows rose. I sighed. "I don't know what do to!"

"Well then," Roxas said a strange unfamiliar glint in his eyes. He put one of his hands on mine, rubbing his thumb back and forth on the top of my hand. "Maybe you should just… move on." I almost gasped. He could tell he hit a nerve, because he hastily apologized.

"No, how could you even say that?" I snarled, pushing his hand away.

"I'm sorry, Kairi," He apologized again, but this time there was a twinge of bitterness in it. My anger didn't dissolve as quickly as he apologized. But it eventually faded as his face sunk.

"S'okay," I mumbled. "But you should watch what you say."

Roxas studied me for a second, looking as if he were debating whether to say something or not. He looked away.

"Hm, well I think we should cancel lessons today," He said sharply avoiding my eye. "You're emotionally unstable right now-"

"Am not!"

"-And I really think that skateboarding isn't the best solution to vent. You'll only end up hurting yourself," He said with a small smirk, but it didn't touch his eyes, they were distant. At this, I kept silent. Couldn't really argue with that! "But, just in case…" He handed me his skateboard. The same board I chipped a long time ago.

"What are you… giving this to me?" I asked incredulously.

Roxas nodded curtly. "It's an early birthday present."

"But my birthday isn't until November…"

"Emphasis on _early_."

I stared at him wide eyed. "Uh… thanks then." I mumbled, taking the skateboard from his hands. I swear to you the wretched board was grinning at me evilly. I set it down, feeling a little unnerved before turning my attention back towards Roxas.

He stared at me with a smile gracing his lips, but his eyes were filled with such sadness it pained me as well. I wanted to ask him about it, but his sudden movement silenced me. In two steps he closed the gap between us and placed his hands on my shoulder. It immediately sent chills down my spine, despite the sweater I was wearing.

"Kairi," He whispered quietly. He was so close I could hear him against the howl of the wind. Instinctively, I lifted my head to look at him; his blonde hair was blowing in the wind. His eyebrows were pulled together and he held a slightly brooding expression. I blushed deeply as I felt his hot breath mixed with the cool breeze on my face. He was _too_ close… again.

"Cheer up," Roxas breathed softly. He said it so gloomily that it made me want to do the exact opposite.

_Speak for yourself! _I thought.

But before I could utter out a single retort, Roxas was leaning in towards me. His face was only inches away from mine. I honestly thought he was going to kiss me, but at the last second he hesitated and instead pressed his lips to my forehead. He pulled away and turned around quickly, so I couldn't see his face. I didn't know how he looked but my face was boiling hot that I seriously thought I'd start sweating, or explode from all the heat. I think at that moment I forgot how to breathe. No joke.

_In out, breath in and then out!_

I didn't even have time to say anything, not that I would have, as Roxas bolted down the street. He didn't say anything to me, nor did he wave goodbye. I gaped after him, the same shocked, flustered, embarrassed, mortified, you-name-it expression plastered across my face.

What the hell was that? What was he thinking? What am I thinking? Did I even like it? It wasn't even a proper kiss! Ah, why am I complaining?!

I slapped my hand to my forehead; my face was still very hot.

"What the hell just happened?" I cried out loud, crumpling down to the curb again. I threw myself against the sidewalk, hoping to beat myself to death. As if taking a beating would take away the fact that I was embarrassed. That seemed to take my mind off of Sora, Namine and Riku, if not for that moment, then the rest of the day.

"_Cheer up,"_

Cheer up my ass, Roxas!

* * *

**Dun Dun Duh!!! THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING (...I hate this chapter...) I'll try and update asap...next chappie is tons and tons of angst...and...angst lol! . So yeah..since I'm in a giving mood (and feeling really guilty for the slow update) here's something new I decided to do!**

x.X.x

**_A preview of the next chappie...well just certain lines I picked out:_  
**

_"Because I know he doesn't like me back,"_

_"How can you be so sure?"_

_"R-Roxas, you're bleeding!"_

_"What? Are you worried?" "Oh please Kairi, why don't you just run along and play with your precious Sora!"_

_"Excuse me?"_

_"You and your Sora complex, that's your damn problem Kairi!"_

x.X.x

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!  
**


	17. Chapter 16

**HOLY COW!! This chapter came out longer than I expected...Sorry..lol, um yay! I updated in like a month. I'm really sorry for the wait. I've just been busy yadah yadah yah the same old excuses. Nah but really I had this really big project for history! Ugh I'm so glad it's over! I can't stand my history teacher, he's such a chode-faced chode!!!****He rips up my bookmarks for no reason!! DX**

** UGH!!! I really do hate him. MAN my grades are lookin' so bad for me! I have a 2.8 GPA!! IT'S TERRIBLE THE WORLD IS GONNA END!!! (I've never had lower than a 3.2 before) I had to hide my progress report from my mom... Shhh! she doesn't know I got it.  
**

**Alright sooo anyway! About this chapter, well.. tons of drama and angst like how I promised before!!! YAY for angst and drama! Also it has some unanswered questions from the previous chappie so I hope you like it. LOL. Let's see I think SoKai is winning right now :'( it's sad... Poor Poor Roxiri. Oh and for those of you who hate Namiku...don't worry I do too! LOL, so don't feel bad!  
**

**Ok so, enjoy! AND I DON'T OWN KH AND STUFF... :3  
**

Forget all the things I've ever said about my being completely mortified because of Roxas. Forget all the times I said I'd die of humiliation because after this I don't think anything could possibly get worse.

I didn't get up from my spot on the curb until dusk. The pink and orange hue was slowly fading into a dark purple. My eyes were still transfixed on the street where Roxas ran off. The same questions were popping up in my head, but they all summed up to what did all of this mean? I didn't understand. Come to think of it, I never really understand his motives. Maybe that's what makes him so mysterious sometimes. Maybe that was the true reason I sought out to become his friend. Because I, myself was captivated by him?

Well, he _was_ intriguing, with his totally anti-social behavior and his good looks. I felt my face burn even deeper. I couldn't deny that he was rather attractive. Oh screw it, he was hot! He'd probably have a fan club as big as Sora's if he wasn't so damn anti-social!

I could hear my mom calling me from inside the house but I still wouldn't move. At the time, I was frozen on the spot. It wasn't until she threatened to come outside and bang me with the pot she was cooking with that I got up and ran inside.

I climbed upstairs, threw open the door, shut it, and flopped on my bed face down on a pillow. My forehead was still boiling hot and I could feel the heat through the pillow case. I rolled over on my back, staring up at the ceiling.

"_Kairi, you still don't realize how important you are to me do you?"_

"No! I don't Roxas!" I answered back angrily throwing my pillow across the room. The conversation at the beach was beginning to ring in my ears. Roxas' face, his voice, even the way his breath felt on my face started forming in my head. I groaned out loud in frustration.

"I don't understand you at all!" I cried out, jumping on my bed and kicking the rest of the pillows off my bed. "You make me so damn confused! I hate this!!! UGH!!!"

"KAIRI QUIT YELLING UP THERE!!! I STILL HAVE MY POT AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!" My mom's voice burst through the wall. That comment instantly shut me up. I sighed loudly, flopping back down on my bed. I blew my bangs out of my face and closed my eyes.

"_Kairi, I really l-"_

"You really what?" I whispered, opening my eyes and staring up the ceiling again. The plastic glow in the dark stars were still taped up, from when I was in Pre-k, threatening to fall down. "Just tell me…"

I yawned, closing my eyes again. All the yelling was making me sleepy.

"You really…l-like... me?" I guessed before chuckling at how absurd that was. Roxas liking me? That was like seeing destiny islands being eaten up by darkness. It would never happen! Besides what kind of moron would like me? I rolled back on my stomach and buried my face into the pillow. I soon fell asleep with one thought in my head.

Either I was absolutely crazy or Roxas was a complete moron.

x.X.x

"Kairi!" A voice yelled from a great distance away. Before I could glance over my shoulder something dropped down on the sand with me. I feigned surprise by jumping slightly; I already knew who that person was. The familiar mixture of Winter Fresh and sun tan lotion hit my nose with such intensity that I was starting to get dizzy. A pair of sturdy arms wrapped around my shoulders and settled on my waist, one hand over the other.

"Hey," He mumbled against the top of my head. I leaned back against his chest, pulling my legs up in between his encircling ones. I lifted my head to see his startling blue eyes probe mine. His dark blonde hair whipped against the low breeze only making it look even wilder than usual. His forehead was smooth and clear of any creased and he was actually smiling down at me. His lips were pulled upward into a lopsided grin and I couldn't help but giggle.

"Hey yourself," I said softly, a lazy smile of content gracing my lips. I felt his chest vibrate against my back as he chuckled. His arms around me tightened as he pulled me closer. He lowered his head so that it was resting on my shoulder, his face pressed against my cheek. Even though the sea breeze was rather chilly I immediately started to feel hot after this gesture. I heard him snicker quietly and I silently prayed that he couldn't feel how boiling hot my face was.

For a long while we both stayed like this, enjoying each other's company in silence. The only sound we would hear were the occasional sounds of waves crashing, the wind's low howl, and the squawking of the seagulls. Throughout the period of silence, he'd remove his arms from my waist, and tangle his fingers with mine. Or sometimes he'd just simply stroke my arms, causing the little hairs on them to prick up. I'd close my eyes and sigh happily. I guess the phrase 'this is the life' could be put to use in this scene.

His quiet voice brought me back from my thoughts.

"_Cheer up,"_ He whispered into my ear. His blonde locks brushed against my hair as he settled his forehead against my shoulder.

"I am cheered up," I said laughing a little. I nudged for him to get up but he still didn't move from his spot. "It's _you_ who needs to cheer up."

At this he started to laugh again. He lifted his head and resumed his position on my shoulder. I snuck a peek at his expression and it was the most tranquil I've ever seen him in. It was a different experience not having to see his scowl every five seconds.

"_Kairi, you still don't realize how important you are to me do you?"_ He asked.

I pulled my eyebrows together, and shook my head. "No I don't," I admitted.

He opened his mouth to speak again but I stopped him. I pulled away, turned and kneeled in front of him to stare straight into his face. I could feel my face reddening as I tried to find the right words to say what I wanted. The expression he was giving me was not helping either. He was smirking almost as if he were expecting my request. I gulped.

"W-will you show me?" I mumbled. My pulse raced as his arms wrapped around me again.

"Show you what?" He probed innocently. I disregarded his sarcasm, or maybe I was just too nervous to notice. His breath against my face made me unfocused for a moment. I blinked away the dizziness.

"Show me what you mean." I said, firmer than how I started which proved to be a troubling feat because now he started to lean in closer and that made me even more unfocused than ever. My heart beat ten times faster, and my breathing kicked up a notch. I zeroed in on his lips, slightly parted and oh so soft looking. "Please?" I added trying to sound polite but only succeeded in sounding like some kind of weak beggar.

I put my arms loosely around his neck and started to lean forward as well. I didn't even give him time to respond because I quickly closed the gap between us.

_Show me, Roxas._

x.X.x

I woke with a start, out of breath. My pulse was racing almost as if I were running. My face was still as flushed and I swear my lips were still tingling from my dream.

A dream? It really was a dream? _It felt so real, almost as if Roxas was-_

I pulled the covers over my face in embarrassment. How could I possibly dream of doing _that_ with Roxas? What is wrong with me?

I sat up on my bed and brought my hands to my chest. It was still beating rapidly. I shook my head, blinking away my shock. This was just way too weird. What kind of dream was this!? One, it was about me and Roxas! Honestly me and Roxas!? That's like putting two magnets with the same end together. Impossible without force! And two, it was some kind of sexual fantasy dream. Even if we weren't doing anything _that _bad, I never had dreams like this one.

I glanced at the clock on my nightstand. Five a.m. I sighed, flopping back down on my bed, knowing I won't be having any kind of peaceful sleep after that nightmare.

x.X.x

When I got to school, Namine wasn't at the usual spot where we met in the mornings. I mean it was still really early but she always got here before I did. The absence of her gave me more time to think about Roxas… Great, like I needed more time to think about that idiot!

I sat down on the steps before the front gates of the school, looking around. The school was still empty. Only a few students were walking around, Olette among them.

"Hey!" I called out to her. "Have you seen Namine?"

Olette blinked back her surprise (I wasn't exactly on friendly terms with her at the moment.). She scrunched up her brown eyebrows thinking.

"Um, yeah a moment ago," She said. "She was with Riku."

Again with Riku? What the hell is going on?

"Riku?" I questioned. At this she smirked, rolling her eyes as if she knew something I didn't.

"Yeah, I think they're heading down to the bleachers," She said, pointedly hinting something that apparently I wasn't getting. She sighed when I gave her a confused stare and waved her hand in dismissal. "Ah, you're so slow."

I pretended to laugh at her insult before heading towards the bleachers. When Riku was brought up, everything from yesterday seemed to flood back into my head. All the confusion, Namine's secrets, and Sora. I'll admit by the time I reached the bottom of the bleachers I was beginning to feel like crap. I completely forgot what Namine had told me yesterday about Sora. It started to dawn on me that my crush would soon become the boyfriend of my best friend. Yup, life sure is fair.

I was about to stomp my way up the bleachers, when I spotted Namine and Riku. They were sitting close to each other, a little too close for my liking. Her sketchbook was propped on her lap and her arms were tucked in. Her bottom lip was pushed out slightly in a pouting manner and she was glaring at Riku who, in return, was smiling back.

I ducked down underneath their bleachers before they could spot me. I really don't know what made me do that, but I guess I just felt like playing secret spy agent today.

"Riku, please stop it," I heard Namine's voice from above. She sounded thoroughly annoyed but her voice held something else I couldn't put my finger on.

"Do I bother you?"

"Yes! I mean no… I just-"She stopped, and I heard her sigh. "I just don't want to be teased!"

"I don't tease you," Riku countered innocently. I seriously felt like socking his brains out. "I meant what I did yesterday."

"Don't lie-"

"I'm serious, Namine." I peeked through the gap of the seats and saw him put his arm around her. He rested his head on the top of her pale blonde hair. "Don't think for a second that I regret kissing you."

"I-I … don't either," She said weakly. If I was looking directly at her face, she'd probably look red as a tomato.

"Good." Riku said firmly, pulling her into an embrace. Namine's sketchbook fell from her lap and down between the gap of the bleachers. It landed in front of, wide open to the picture of Riku. Except this time there was a new addition to the drawing. The Riku drawing was now surrounded with little hearts and a tiny inscription that said RxN at the bottom. Oh god, Namine.

"I like you Namine, more than _he_ does." Riku said quietly. I had to strain my ears to pick up what he said.

"I-I do too, Riku," She mumbled shyly.

"Good," He repeated.

Ok, well I know I should be jumping for joy at this moment, knowing that Namine is distracted with Riku to care about Sora. But I couldn't help but feel bad. Somewhere deep inside me, I felt like this was wrong. And yet, I knew I wouldn't do anything about it.

"Oh," Namine's gasp brought me back to reality. "I think I dropped my book."

"It's fine, I'll pick it up on the way down-"Riku started but she stood up on the bleachers regardless.

"No! I need to get it now!" She mumbled, anxiously racing down the steps to crawl underneath the bleachers, exactly the same spot where I was snooping. I knew in that instant I'd run or be caught so I bolted out of there without looking back. My face must have been completely frightened or freaked out because when I ran into Olette again she cast me a worried expression.

"You ok?" She asked.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine." I mumbled.

"You look like you've just seen a ghost."

x.X.x

I 'officially' met up with Namine after the first bell rang for homeroom. She skipped over to me, her sketchbook clenched tightly at her side, wearing a rather large goofy smile on her face.

"Hey Kairi!" She said cheerily. I smiled back halfheartedly, but she didn't notice.

"Hi, where've you been? I've been looking for you all morning." I said. I didn't have the heart to tell her I spied on her. Plus I was still a little put off that she would hide this from me.

"Oh I don't know… around," she said, letting out a carefree laugh. It was really annoying to see her act like this. Somewhere my best friend senses were tingling and they were telling me she was acting like this for the wrong person.

"Hmm, well we'd better get to class," I muttered indifferently, putting my feelings aside.

"Yeah sure!" She beamed, locking arms with me and strolling through the school hallways in a cheery manner. It was sickening.

x.X.x

I tried my best to ignore her attitude, and succeeded when I walked into homeroom because something else sprung into my head. Or rather _someone_ else.

He smiled warmly as I walked down the aisle of student desks towards the one next to him. I grinned back, feeling my pulse quicken again like in the dream.

"Hey," I said nervously.

"Hey yourself," He replied. I took my seat and stared down at the table, back at Roxas and down at the table. He frowned when I did this. "Is something the matter?"

"Er no, "I said quickly, flashing him a reassuring smile. "Just have a lot on my mind."

"Like what?" He probed.

_Uh like you!_

"Um, just stuff." I mumbled.

Roxas stared at me for a moment. His hard stare was making my face flush. He pulled his eyebrows together and spoke.

"Did you hear anything about Sora yet?" He asked quietly. I shook my head, suddenly aware of the fact that Sora still didn't know about Namine and…Riku. Or maybe he did. I furrowed my eyebrows and stared off into space. Roxas must have noticed because he spoke again. "What is it?"

He put his hand over mine which sent a dozen heat waves up my arm.

"It's just- I don't think it's going to happen," I started slowly. Roxas looked at me puzzled before I explained it clearer. "I don't think Namine and…Sora will…" I trailed off hoping he'd get the hint.

His face instantly melted into sympathy as he clutched my hand tighter. "Kairi, you can say all you want but it doesn't change the fact that-"

"I know!" I said hotly, yanking my hand from underneath his. "I'm just telling you what I'm thinking! Isn't that what you wanted to know? Jeez, I can't say anything without you bursting my bubble."

Roxas scoffed, before turning away. I folded my arms over my chest and glared at the table. I stayed quiet and he refused to talk to me the entire homeroom period.

x.X.x

We both gave each other the silent treatment for the rest of the next two periods. P.E and Chinese. I really don't understand why I made him so ticked off at me. And I really don't understand why I was feeling annoyed with him. It felt like the beginning of the year all over again.

Roxas would ignore me while we were playing soccer. We changed sports, finally! But soccer was like a ten steps back. I could barely coordinate myself with just walking; imagine me trying to kick a ball while running?! Our team was getting fed up with us because we both refused to pass the ball to one another even if the other was open. Eventually the coach made Roxas and I run, muttering something about 'teamwork' and 'working together'.

_Working together my ass!_

Chinese class was no better. As I've mentioned before, we sat next to each other. Well today we had to partner up with the person next to us and practice sentence patterns with flash cards. And lucky me, I get Roxas as my partner. We both sat in silence turning the other way and when the teacher came over to our desks, she scolded us for not participating. Then she gave us both detention. So much for the cute asian.

By the time lunch came around, I was drained and tired. Tired of being ignored by Roxas and tired of ignoring him. I convinced myself that I would apologize and then make him apologize to me whether he liked it or not. I walked through the halls feeling a new kind of confidence at the thought of confronting Roxas. I'd never really done it before; usually it was the other way around. But this time it was my turn.

I was about to turn the corner when something made me stop in my tracks. I heard voices. Very familiar voices.

"Namine… please," Said the first voice softly. I peeked around the corner wall to see Sora and Namine wrapped up in a discussion. Namine looked distressed and Sora pleading. Well I guess it's time for secret spy agent Kairi to step into action.

Sora stepped closer towards her. I honestly thought she was going to step into his arms but she took a step back. Her eyes were trained away from Sora's.

"Sora, you're making it incredibly hard to still be friends with you," She said, her voice quivering. Her body stiffened up.

"Why are you saying that?" He asked earnestly, trying to take another step closer but she stepped back.

"Because you're too pushy-"She started, bowing her head. "And you make me uncomfortable. And…" She stopped to look back up at him. "And I don't see you as anything more than a class mate at school."

"Namine just- just give me a chance to… to-"His voice faltered when he saw her shake her head. He started up again sounding even more desperate than ever. "Please, if you say yes-"

"-Sora-"

"-Then maybe you might change your mind about me-

"-Sora!-"She tried, but he ignored her.

"-and might actually like me b-"

"There's someone else." Namine interjected loudly to drown out his babbling. Sora immediately stopped talking. He froze, staring at her unblinkingly.

"Someone else?" He repeated uncertainly. Namine sighed, hanging her head down in defeat. It was something she always used to do whenever she was admitting something that made her really guilty.

"I'm sorry." She apologized quietly. Before Sora could utter out another response she turned on her heel and stalked off, leaving him staring after her. After she was out of his site he crumpled down to the floor, his eyes still wide with shock. At that moment I wanted to run into his arms and hug the living day lights out of him, but I stood my ground and continued to watch him.

"Someone else…" He whispered. Then his expression turned into a hard glare that was unsettling on his usual cheery face. "Riku."

x.X.x

I didn't know what to expect when I walked into Biology. I didn't know if Sora was going to be mad or sad or just emotionless. We were still working on our t-shirts. I finished drawing the skeletal system after many failed attempts and we were now coloring them.

As soon as I entered Ms. Lockhart's classroom, we dedicated the whole period into finishing the project, it would be the last day we could work on it in class.

I cautiously took my seat next to Sora, who already had the t-shirt spread out on the table. He was glaring hardly at it almost as if he wanted to shoot lasers out of his eyes. Before I could open my mouth to greet him he spoke.

"You were wrong." He said simply.

"Huh?"

"You were wrong about Namine." He said. "She does like _him_."

I felt the guilt drown me. Sora wasn't stupid; of course he'd figure out that Riku was the person Namine was talking about. I rested my arms on the table and sighed.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"Nah, it isn't your fault," He replied. "I didn't expect it either until I saw them…" He paused, clenching his fists into tight balls. I could see his knuckles turning white. "Until I saw them lip locked in the art room yesterday."

"Oh," I muttered, unable to come up with a better response. How I was even supposed to respond to that? I didn't even know they were doing that until today.

"You know," Sora continued, ignoring my useless comment. "I think that's why I asked her so suddenly. Because I felt like I was losing her. I should have seen it coming. Riku isn't exactly the one to spring surprises. I guess I really lost her now, huh?"

He smiled coldly at me. His blue eyes were downcast, and it looked like any moment he'd burst into tears. But I doubted it. I looked away hating myself more and more.

"You shouldn't give up." I said firmly.

"It's useless Kairi, Riku's all over her. I've lost." He mumbled miserably. I let out a sigh, feeling like socking myself for even thinking of saying encouraging words to him. It's definitely not making my situation any better.

"You've lost the battle, but maybe not the war," I countered, my brain telling me to shut up. But it was all coming out like word vomit. I was saying anything in order to make him feel better. "Look, Namine can be easily persuaded. She's way too naïve. Riku probably said a few charming words to her and boom she's infatuated. But she'll probably realize that what she's feeling maybe is some kind of little fling. And she'll get over it."

"Are you being honest?"

"Yeah, Namine's never had a boyfriend, so all this stuff is new to her." I said with a forced smile. "Besides she'll come around and realize that you're ten times better than Riku."

He considered this for a moment before groaning.

"But I really don't know what to do now Kairi," He sighed, scratching his messy brown head furiously. He looked over at me helplessly. I wanted to hug him and wipe that frown off of his face, but I couldn't make myself do it. I just couldn't.

"Maybe if you just keep convincing her to go out with you, then just wait and see if she likes you back," I suggested as hopefully as I could manage. In reality I was praying against it. Namine or even Roxas could have sensed the lie on my tongue, but Sora remained clueless.

"But that's just the thing! I want her to go out with me because she likes me!" He protested with a great big sigh. "And she doesn't like me." I blinked unable to say anything. When he looked at me and saw that I wasn't responding he picked up the red marker and started to fill in the rib cage. His strokes came out angrily he kept the tip of the marker in one spot so long that a dark ink blot started to form.

"I'm sorry Sora. I don't really know what to tell you," I mumbled sadly. I felt so useless to him. Here was hurting and pouring his heart out and here I am making everything worse. "Just that, unrequited love really sucks."

"Hmm, tell me about it," He agreed. "Is there someone you like?"

I smiled halfheartedly at his obliviousness.

_If you only knew._

"Yeah," I sighed, grabbing a red marker and helping him color in the ribs. "But it would never happen."

"Why not?"

"Because I know he doesn't like me back," I chuckled rather darkly. I could feel Sora studying me intensely which only caused me to flush a light shade of red.

"How can you be so sure?" He asked curiously. His probing tone made it seem like he was just waiting for me to reveal who that person was.

"I just know." I said simply. "Besides, he likes someone else anyway."

"Wow that guy is some idiot to pass someone like you up." Sora said nodding his head. I grinned slightly.

"Some idiot," I agreed.

_If you only knew, Sora._

The next few minutes were ones of silence as Sora and I colored in the t-shirt. Our hands brushed occasionally and even though he was pretty warm his touch sent shivers up my arm. I wished things could have stayed this way. With me sitting next to him. Even if he was hurting, I wanted to be the one to comfort him. I wanted his attention on me. I wanted to be the only thing he saw. But… I wasn't. _She_ was.

"Kairi," Sora spoke so suddenly it startled me. "Thanks." I could hear the smile in his voice even before I looked at him. It was a small and simple one, but a genuinely sincere grin that literally made me melt into mush. It took me a few awkward moments (of me gaping stupidly) before I noticed he was staring at me expectantly.

I blinked away my daze before speaking.

"Oh…" I mumbled, like the complete idiot, who couldn't form a coherent sentence, I was. My face flushed even deeper as he smiled wider. "Um… For what?"

"For being here," He answered sweetly. I swear I was beet red.

"You're welcome."

After that whole intense moment, things started to fall back into the Sora/Kairi time. We talked and laughed, and it really seemed as if the whole Namine, Riku, and Sora love triangle thing never happened.

I couldn't help noticing how crappy Sora colors things. There were a couple of times where he went way out of the lines and changed his strokes where it looked crisscrossed. I really wanted to tell him to just stop and let me do it. At least I would have done a decent job, but I didn't want to make him feel bad. So instead I tried to make him get more markers and while he was gone, try to quickly color the rest of what he was doing. After about a few minutes we had the whole bucket of crayola markers at our desk.

"You know, I think I'm making our project look like crap," Sora finally said, after coloring in the collar bone.

"I think you are too." I teased. He pouted, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Jeez Kairi, you don't have to be so mean!" He mumbled before laughing.

"Jeez Sora, you don't have to ruin our t-shirt with your horrid coloring skills," I retorted.

"Hey!"

"I'm just kidding,"

"You know what you can color, I'll label when you're done." He grumbled, grabbing the nearest textbook and opening it up. "Since my coloring skills are _so_ 'horrid'."

I giggled and went back to coloring. Sora really was making our project look crap. We might have barely scraped up a C+ a B- if we were lucky.

I went over his badly colored areas, hoping to make it look a bit nicer but ultimately failing. Seriously, it looked like some pre-schooler colored this.

"Hey Kairi, what was one of the worst Christmas gifts you've gotten?" He asked randomly, flipping through the textbook lazily.

"Huh?" I dropped my attention from the white shirt to look up at him.

"Christmas, what was the worst one you got!?"

"Oh, um… "I trailed off trying to think of a bad present. I found it incredibly hard to think because I felt his interested eyes on me. "Oh! Um, one year I got a pair of socks from one my cousins." _Stupid Axel._

"Socks?!" He exclaimed incredulously before laughing hysterically. I smiled, watching him in his fits of laughter. I didn't care that half the class was staring at us, or the teacher's reprimands, or even Roxas' scowl, I was happy to be next to the source of commotion. I _liked_ to be next to the source of commotion.

"Well, I mean they weren't ugly socks," I said defensively, shoving his shoulder playfully. _Whoa, that's bold girl_, I thought. "They were cute, but personally I hate getting clothes as presents." He wiped his eyes, after settling down.

"Really, so then… what _do_ you like getting?" He asked, quirking his eyebrows childishly. I couldn't help but let out a small giggle.

"Hmmm, well… I like video games," I admitted sheepishly, making him grin.

"What kind of games do you play?" He asked really interested now.

"The Zelda series is really fun, and so are the Sims games and um… "I felt myself turn pink, and a deep desire not to finish the sentence.

"What?" He begged. I looked down at the marked on white t-shirt feeling extremely childish.

"Ok, don't laugh- I've liked to play the Pokémon games ever since I was seven." I said in a rush.

"Wow, a Pokémon fan huh?" He said his face twitching into a smile. I scowled, my face turning a darker shade of pink.

"They're fun ok," I barked. He laughed again. Oh, it was so sweet to hear his rumbling laughter.

"I don't even play Pokémon! They're for Poke-nerds! " He teased

"Well Mr. Cool guy what kind of games do you play?" I asked smugly. He smirked.

"I play Halo-"

"Hey, Cherry and Mr. Heat Myster, Get to work!" the teacher barked at us from her desk, making us fall silent instantly. Sora gingerly pinched at his spiky hair, sticking his tongue at her when she turned back to her work.

"God, my hair doesn't look like that fat red guy from those stupid Christmas cartoons! If anyone's hair looks like that it would be yours. "He laughed.

"Excuse me?" I raised an eyebrow, and he chuckled harder.

"Kairi, you've got the red hair, all you need to do is spike it!" He joked. "C'mon you should totally come to school like that one day."

"No way, people are going to start confusing me with Axel or something. Besides my hair isn't an IN-YOUR-FACE- red." I complained, Sora stopped laughing and smiled.

"You're right," he said gently, raising his hand towards my face. "It's more of a mellow burgundy." He leaned in towards me almost as if he were going to kiss me even though he didn't. I know my face was as dark as my hair; I cursed the fluorescence and brightness of the classroom. Instead Sora tucked an out of place strand of hair behind my ear. His hand lingered at the side of my face for a fraction of a second. This scene reminded me vaguely of another one with Roxas. My heart skipped a beat as I remembered the dream. Oh god. I blinked and focused in on Sora trying to forget about Roxas. I was mad at Roxas. I shouldn't even be thinking about him. I should think of Sora. Speaking of whom, he was smiling at me with a rather amused face. My face flushed and I stared back, trying to give him a returning grin but my lips felt like jelly.

I would have kept my eyes locked on his, if I didn't hear a loud commotion at the front of the room. My eyes fluttered to the source and I saw Roxas on the floor a chair toppled over him. His face was red and contorted with rage. Everyone in the class room was in shock before they burst out laughing, well everyone except Sora and I. We both jumped out of our seats and rushed to see if he was ok, ignoring the teacher as she tried to make everyone shut up.

"Rox, are you alright?" Sora asked seriously, pulling the chair off of him. I tried to help him up but he shoved me away. Ok, what was that all about? I only wanted to help. What a punk!

"Just peachy," He huffed angrily pushing himself up. "Ow," He muttered glaring at his arm that had blood slopping down to his fingertips.

"R-Roxas, you're bleeding!" I yelled, pointing at his cut. More blood poured as he pulled it closer to his face to examine it.

"Thanks for stating the obvious, genius." He snarled, making me flinch. "Ugh, I must have scraped myself on something." Sora poked his head out from underneath the table.

"It must have been this," Sora said pointing to a black jagged nail sticking out on the table's leg. He cringed looking at Roxas' arm. Blood really grossed him out, aw that's so sensitive of him. I pushed away my thoughts of Sora and focused my attention back on Roxas' injury.

"Well isn't that just wonderful!" Roxas spat sarcastically. Sora and I exchanged looks. There was already a small puddle of blood before we noticed it was dripping. "Ugh, great! Ms. Lockhart, can I go to the nurse before I die of blood loss?"

The teacher glowered at her stained floor sourly.

"Go! Go, before this one," she pointed at me. "Camouflages with the floor," she snapped, at him, and I made a face. Roxas ran to the sink, grabbed a fist full of paper towels, and headed for the door.

"Oi, Heat Myster clean this up and Red, go with Blondie and make sure he goes to the nurse not to go off and smoke the magic dragon in the bathroom." The teacher said indifferently. I stared at her wide-eyed. Was she joking or what? I shook my head thinking my bio teacher was a complete nut job before accompanying Roxas out the door. I took one look at Sora who was staring sickened at the puddle of blood. I forced back a laugh remembering Roxas. He was probably a good ten feet away from me, already near the staircase.

"Hey Roxas," I called, running to catch up with him, but he continued to descend down the stairs. Was he still mad or what? Even if he was angry, I still couldn't think of anything that would have made him upset? Was it really me? It could have been. I kind of gave him attitude, I guess. And plus I hadn't been acting that 'normal' around him before because of that lip action he did yesterday… Oh god…

"Roxas!" I yelled again.

"Oh, what do you want? Go back to class, I don't need you to babysit me," He spat, refusing to slow down, his pace only quickened. I finally caught up, trying to walk next to him, but he kept bumping me out of the way.

"Roxas, I'm not babysitting you I'm just-"

"What? Are you worried?" He mocked. "Oh please Kairi, why don't you just run along and play with your precious Sora!"

"What, Roxas I don't-"

"-Because he's obviously your first priority," he muttered angrily, taking longer strides. I had to jog to keep up with him.

"You're not being fair," I said quietly. He stopped suddenly making me crash into his back. Roxas spun around to face me, his face as icy cold as ever.

"Ever heard the saying 'life isn't fair'?" He snapped.

"Yes I've heard it, "I said starting to get annoyed. "But I still don't understand where all this is coming from? Are you mad at me or what?"

He clenched and unclenched his teeth, opening his mouth to speak, but he closed it. His face softened and his eyes melted from its frozen exterior. He sighed quietly.

"No, I'm not." He murmured, taking a step back.

"You're lying," I snapped angrily. Roxas' eyes instantly hardened as he gave me a nasty glare. I almost flinched.

"Alright I am mad!" He admitted.

"Why-"

"Because you just-" He stopped himself midsentence, looking completely frustrated. He ruffled his hair furiously. After a few seconds he took a couple of deep breaths and spoke calmly. "Don't ask me why."

Roxas turned around his back facing me and started to walk again. I gaped at him.

"What the heck? I'm not finished with you yet!" I bellowed, rushing up to him again. "What the hell is your problem?"

"My problem? What are you talking about? You're the one with the problem." He called over his shoulder. My chest flared with anger.

"What are you-"

"You and your Sora complex, that's your damn problem Kairi!" He nearly screamed out that statement. His voice echoed down the empty halls. I stared at him wide eyed, speechless.

"I don't understand…" My voice faltered slightly, the shock was still affecting me greatly. Roxas scoffed. His lips pulled upward into an ugly smirk. It was one that I had never seen before. I didn't like it. It made his features darken, into a cynical almost psychotic way.

"Oh don't give me that, Kairi! You know exactly what I'm talking about! I see you flirting and trying to get close to him!"

"Uh, hello! He just got rejected today, I'm only trying to cheer him up-"

"It's disgusting," He snarled. "Please won't you do us all a favor and just stop and save yourself the embarrassment. It's pathetic to-"

He didn't to finish because I threw my arm back and my hand collided with his face.

_Slap!!!_

Roxas jumped back clutching the right side of his face (a hand print was starting to form.) His blue eyes were as wide as saucers.

I blinked a couple of times, but I couldn't feel it. I was numb with astonishment. His words hurt more than the cold stare he was giving me. Soon I started to feel a lump form in my throat so big that it started to hurt. I couldn't breathe right because of it. My right hand was tingling and my eyes were starting to water. I felt as if I were punched in the gut, or as if Roxas had punched me.

His expression was hurt, not physically but his pride was hurt. Instantly the rock hard surface of his eyes crumbled down to reveal distant and scared ones. Guilt spread through my body like butter on toast.

_How could I have struck him like that?_

_How could he have said those things to me?_

Guilt was replaced by anger but anger was soon replaced by regret and misery. As quick as a flash Roxas' expression shifted into a mask. He was staring at me, but he wasn't really staring _at_ me. It was more of a distant gaze like something else was going on through his head.

I tried to speak but I couldn't find my voice. I couldn't even utter a simple 'oh'.

"Whatever then," Roxas choked out. He spun on his heel and stalked off. I didn't even bother to chase after him. That fact alone hurt me even more.

**DUN DUN DUH!!!!!! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!**

**AH NO CHAPPIE PREVIEWS THIS TIME... I haven't written it yet X]**

**Ah and next time prepare yourself for SoKai, b/c there'll be A LOT more in the next chapter.  
**


	18. Chapter 17

**HOLY SHAMALAMADINGDONG! MY MOM FOUND MY PROGRESS REPORT!!! NOOOOOOOEEEEESSSS!!!! I feel like jumping off a cliff or something, she's grounding me from all the things that are important to me the internet, kingdom hearts, my phone, and books!! WHAT KIND OF SANE PARENT WOULD TAKE AWAY THE GIFT A READING A BOOK!?!?!? **

**Anyway, right now I am currently sneaking on the computer shhh, they don't know I'm on it. Ok so back to the story disclaimer thingy mabob:  
**

**Well... I hate this chapter..a lot...more than the other one i said i hated....I had to keep rewriting it b/c I hated the way it came out so blah! This is crap!**** I rearranged this chappie and next one so there isn't as much SoKai as I promised...but there is some...curse u SoKai for being in the lead!!! GRRRR**

**Ok well, about this chapter (besides my obvious distaste for it) it's got some SoKai and Namiku (blah) in it. Um, brief Roxiri...well more like one-sided Roxiri ^^'**

**So enjoy: DON'T OWN KH BLAH BLAH...WHATEVER  
**

The sixth period dismissal bell rang across the halls and I still hadn't moved an inch. My body was as stiff as a board and my eyes were trained on the floor as if my life depended on it. People were milling around the halls, bumping into me and muttering things like 'move it'.

It wasn't until I heard a familiar voice calling my name from behind me that I woke up from the distant blur I was in. I glanced over my shoulder and saw Sora bobbing through the crowd, carrying my bag along with his backpack over his shoulder, our white t-shirt wrapped around his neck like a towel.

"Hey you took so long! I brought your stuff so you wouldn't have to go back." He smiled, holding my bag out towards me. "Is Roxas ok? That really looked like a deep cut." At the mention of his name, I felt my eyes water. I took my bag from him, and put it over my shoulder.

"Kairi what are you-" Sora stopped in midsentence, his face falling, absolutely transfixed with whatever was on my face. "Why are you crying?"

Sure enough I felt a slow trail of tears fall down. The contacts started to burn against my eyes and I had sudden desire to rip them out but decided against it. Instead I wiped my eyes, and let out a bitter laugh.

"It's nothing, these contacts are really irritating me." I lied, smiling. Sora definitely looked unconvinced but dropped the subject, to my relief. "Thanks for bringing my bag."

"No problem," He said quietly, still staring at me with cautious eyes.

"I should get to class." I mumbled awkwardly. Sora cleared his throat and nodded.

"I'll walk you," He offered. I shook my head.

"No it's ok. You don't have to." I assured.

"I want to." He said finally, grabbing my wrist and pulling me along with him.

So I let him, partly to shut him up and partly because I doubted I would have been able to find my way to class being an internal emotional mess. We both walked towards my academic support class in silence. After he let go of my wrist he rested his hands behind his head, and started to whistle attempting to cheer up the atmosphere but it wasn't working very well. Occasionally I could feel his eyes on me and it made me uncomfortable. The one time where I didn't want him to look at me he does. Jeez the world isn't fair!

Once we reached the door, I turned towards him.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome." He responded. I could feel his expectant gaze on me.

Well bye then," I mumbled, before turning around and grabbing the door knob. I was about to open the door when I suddenly felt two hands on my shoulder turn me around and I was facing Sora again.

"You shouldn't lie. You're probably good at it, but not everyone is perfect." He said softly. My ears started to prickle into a higher temperature. Slowly I could feel my eyes begin to water again.

"W-what are you talking about?" I feigned innocence. Apparently Sora wasn't as oblivious as I believed. I was completely convinced that Sora knew something was wrong with me.

"It's Roxas, isn't it?"

"W-what? But what are you-" I sputtered, feeling my face pale in worry. I didn't realize but my body started to tremble.

"What did he do?" He pressed his voice thick with concern.

_What did he do!? He yelled at me! He made me feel bad for liking you! He- he hurt me! _

"Nothing," I mumbled, looking way from Sora. But that didn't stop the tears from building up.

"Tell me!" He urged, his grip on my shoulders tightened. Under different circumstances I would have probably enjoyed being this close to him but I wanted more than anything than to be as far from him as possible.

I remained silent and I could see frustration building in his eyes. "Kairi what happened? Please tell me."

It took me a moment and few snifflings later before I replied.

"I slapped him" I choked out, bowing my head in shame. I sniffled, feeling absolutely humiliated. Crying at school and in front of Sora no less? This was the opposite of how I wanted to handle this. Before I knew it, I started to break down. "Oh god he hates me!" I cried out.

"He doesn't hate you." He tried to reason, but I felt my head shake angrily.

"Yes he does! You didn't hear him! You didn't hear the things he said to me!"

The next thing I knew, I was in Sora's arms, my head resting against his shoulder. He whispered comforting words in my ear as he stroked my hair. He smelled faintly of the ocean, that crisp breezy scent. But it felt like something was missing to his aroma, something minty and fresh.

"Stop saying things like that," He whispered. He was so close I could hear every word. "He doesn't hate you. Kairi, he _likes_ you. Way more than he lets on."

I wanted to argue with him, but for a brief moment I considered what he said. He likes me? Roxas likes me? Impossible. It fit though. His cold personality towards me in the beginning could have simply been a cover up for his shy disposition around me. All of his insults could have been a disguise to hide his real feelings. Or the way he's always finding some way to touch me (not in that way you pervs!), the necklace he kept, or his sour mood whenever I brought up Sora in the conversation. The whole argument we had could have just been his moment of jealousy towards Sora and how close he was to me. Roxas jealous? If I really thought about it, it fit. All of it. But I refused to believe it. I refused to believe how someone, specifically a rather attractive someone, could possibly have feelings for loser like me.

Besides even if he (somehow, magically) really did have feelings for me, what would happen then? Nothing, absolutely nothing because I _don't_ like him back. I like Sora.

Speaking of whom, Sora had stopped murmuring into my ear. His rigid body woke me from my thoughts. I felt his arms around me lose their tight grip. I looked up to find his face absolutely frozen, transfixed on something behind me.

His arms were loose enough for me to turn around. When I glanced over my shoulder I literally wanted to die of humiliation.

Riku and Namine both stopped dead before us, their smile's frozen in place, and hands entangled in each others. Riku rolled his eyes at us and let go of Namine's hand pulling her closer to him by the waist.

His expression was quite predictable, smug. Namine's however, I wasn't expecting, actually I wasn't even quite sure how she would react.

She was staring at us strangely. Her blond eyebrows were pulled together as her eyes flickered from me to Sora. They rested on me for a brief second before turning back to Sora. Slowly her lips pulled downward into a tiny frown. No one would have noticed, but after years of knowing her I knew instantly it was a frown of dissatisfaction.

A feeling surged through me. Pride? Possibly. I resisted the urge to stick my tongue out at her and gloat, but instantly felt bad. What is it that I'd be gloating about? Nothing, which was exactly what Sora and I were doing. Nothing.

I heard Sora clear his throat behind me.

"Um… we'll talk later," He mumbled. I turned back to look at him. His eyes were downcast and he was avoiding Namine's eye. "I'll meet you afterschool if you want. By the bleachers."

I didn't have time to respond before he sped off to his class. I watched as Namine's eyes trailed after him briefly before turning back to me. I felt my face flush in embarrassment, as she studied me. It felt like a lifetime before she said anything. She untangled herself from Riku and took a step forward.

"Kairi, have you been crying?" Ok, well her question immediately threw me off guard. I was expecting something more along the lines of 'What were you doing with Sora?'

I blinked. "No," I lied. "My contacts are just irritating me." I said using the same excuse I gave Sora. Again, it didn't seem to fool anyone because she looked at me doubtfully. "Honest." I added smiling half heartedly.

Namine opened her mouth to respond but Riku tugged her back into his arms. She grinned a little, trying to push herself away.

"Riku please, Kairi's-" She started but I cut in.

"I'm fine Namine," I reassured her. I opened the door to class. "I'll see you inside." I muttered before leaving the couple outside.

When I walked into the class room, I sat at my desk and put my head down, before anyone else could question my puffy red eyes. Namine came in shortly afterwards, a little flustered, but hickey free. Thank god. I didn't think I could handle worrying about Roxas, and worrying about Namine's sexual activity on top of that.

Immediately her face fell when she saw me. I tried to look away, but guiltily kept my eyes on hers. She took a seat next to me and leaned in towards me. She smelled faintly of Riku's man whore-ness cologne.

"Kairi are you ok?" I contemplated my possible answers. I could tell her the truth and risk another absolute breakdown in a class full of nosy students. Or I could simply lie, and have Sora the only one to confide in. I could tell you now, it wasn't hard to choose.

"Yeah," I lied firmly.

"But-"

"I already told you it was my contacts." I said.

x.X.x

I really didn't want to meet Sora after school, after that embarrassing incident. What if he thought I was this emotionally unstable lunatic?

So I walked slowly to the bleachers, giving me time to think if this was such a good idea or not. I didn't have much of a choice because all too soon, he spotted me.

"Kairiiiii!!!" He called from the top bleachers. I didn't even climb all of them when he closed the distance between us. His large grin, melted. "Are you doing ok?"

I let out a bitter laugh. "Sora it's only been an hour…"

"Right, sorry, you were just so upset. I've never seen you like that." He admitted, scratching the back of his head awkwardly.

"Oh," I mumbled, feeling my face start to heat up.

"But you're better now, right?" He asked hopefully. I smiled nodding my head.

"Yeah I think so."

"That's good to hear." He said with a large returning grin. He then stuffed one hand in his pocket and pulled out a scrap of lined paper. He handed it to me. "Hey listen Kairi if you ever to talk or whatever, call me."

I opened up the paper to find his number scrawled messily on it. My face definitely started to burn a dark shade of red.

"Thanks… Sora," I paused, trying to find the right words. "Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Helping me?"

He smiled softly, ruffling the top of my hair. I smacked his hand away, fixing my hair with the other. He let out a chuckle.

"Because you helped me."

"Oh so is it because you feel guilty for feeling so useless?" I teased. He frowned.

"No! I just felt like helping you. I like you Kairi; you're really fun to be around. And I hate to see you upset." Sora said sincerely. His hand reached out to fix an out of place strand of hair. "Shh. Don't tell Roxas though he'd totally kick my butt!" He laughed. I tried to laugh along but couldn't. I could feel my face fall at the mention of his name. Sora noticed and shot me an apologetic stare.

"I'm sorry that was insensitive."

"No it's ok."

Awkward silence.

"Um…I have to go," I said nervously. He nodded as I tightened my grip on my bag. I was about to walk down the bleachers when he reached down and gathered me in both of his arms before running down the bleachers.

"So call me when you get the chance." Sora muttered. "See you tomorrow Kairi!"

"Yeah…see you tomorrow," I mumbled under my breath, still in shock of the sudden hug he gave me.

x.X.x

I could still feel the warmth around me from Sora's hug by the time I got home. My mom eyed me with a strange look as I floated upstairs to my room. I wouldn't blame her I probably had this stupid goofy grin on my face. It wasn't long before I heard my mom's voice calling me downstairs.

"Kairi! Phone!" My mom yelled from the living room. I have to say I was pretty surprised. I hardly got any phone calls (I was more into text messages, but since I still don't have a phone…). The only person who really called me was Namine but she was off doing god knows what with that slime ball, Riku. So I wasn't expecting a call from her.

Roxas also called me one time about the homework in class, but I doubt that was the real reason he called because we ended up talking about stuff irrelevant to the homework. Could it have been him calling? I was torn between hoping it was and praying against it.

When I got downstairs, my mom was staring at me with a furtive grin as she handed me the phone.

"It's a _boy_," She sneered. I swear my stomach did a back flip when she said that. I felt my face flush as I glared at her with a shut-the-hell-up-mom look. I literally ran back up my room, closed the door and locked it, before answering the phone.

"Hello?" I asked cautiously.

"Kairiiiiii!" Sora's loud voice exclaimed through the other line. I'll admit that my heart deflated a little when I realized it wasn't _him_. I think if I were in a different situation, in which I _was_ speaking to Roxas, I would have been thrilled to have a phone call from Sora.

"S-Sora?"

"Bingo!" He laughed.

"I thought I was the one that was supposed to call _you_."

"Yeah, well, I called you first!" He teased, before launching into his first question. "So how've you been?" He asked as if I hadn't seen him in years, when in reality I saw him a couple of _minutes_ ago.

"Oh…I've been ok I guess- Wait, how did you get my number?!" I demanded.

"Silly silly Kairi, I have my resources," He said. "Resources that you'll never find!" He added before I could ask.

"Really now?" I said, feeling the corner of my lips pull upward.

"Uh huh! So now that I've got you on the phone let's get down to business," He said trying to sound professional, but failing entirely. "Tomorrow I'm taking a trip to the local cinema. And since I have no one to go with, seeing as one of my best friends won't talk to me," He paused and cleared his throat. At that moment I was thankful this conversation was on the phone. "And the other…. Well is busy with certain people... I need you to go with me."

"So in other words I'm your last resort?"

"Precisely," He laughed and I laughed too. "Nah, I just think it would be good. It'll take our mind off of things."

"Hmm, I guess it would. But what if I say no?"

"Then I'll just have to kidnap you," he cackled. "And hold you for ransom."

I giggled, feeling the blush creep up my neck. "That won't be necessary. I'll go."

"Awesome, alright so I'll stalk you after school, then you can change, do all that girly stuff. And then we'll go. I hope you like public buses!"

"They're the perfect form of transportation for royalty," I teased, I heard him chuckle on the other line.

"Alright so it's settled?"

"Yeah."

"Ok, I'll bring duct tape and rope just in case."

"So I'll meet you afterschool in the front?"

"It's a date!"

_Date…_

x.X.x

Ok, I'll admit I was pretty stoked about the whole…_date_-thing whatever it's called, with Sora. But that was it. Other than that, I was not looking forward to the next day of school. In fact I wanted to avoid it. But my mom wouldn't let me skip, even when I pretended to be sick. So grudgingly I walked to school with Namine, and to my utter disdain Riku. The way I see it, he decided the best way to get into her pants was to walk her to school and hold her book bag. Tch, what an idiot. I saw the way he would sweet talk her and the way she followed him around like some kind of lovesick puppy. Or the way his gaze would lower towards her chest when they were talking to each other. And what really ticked me off was the way he would sneak glances at other girls when she wasn't looking.

I wanted to say something to Namine, I really did. But I knew, with how infatuated she was with him, she wouldn't listen. So I kept quiet, silently praying she'd see what a perverted man whore he was.

I wanted the agonizing walk to school to end, but I didn't want it to end either. Because I knew Roxas would be there in the stupid seat next to mine in almost every class. I wasn't ready to talk to him, and I'll bet he didn't want to talk to me either.

So when I walked into homeroom I was little shocked to see him staring at me. It wasn't the fact that he was staring, it was how he was staring, almost pleading. I was expecting to see his cold glare.

When I sat down I tried to busy myself with the flyer of notices the teacher passed out. Hmm, winter formal is in a few months. Pfft, like I'd go to a winter formal.

"Kairi," His voice made me jump up slightly. I trained my eyes on the paper in front of me, glaring at the print until my eyes started to hurt.

_Winter vacation is in a few months too. Oh joy two weeks of absolute freedom. Vacation, vacation, vacation, think of vacation not the blonde idiot next to you._

"Kairi," he repeated his tone was soft and patient as if he were expecting my behavior.

_Winter vacation is coming up, then that means the class finals are coming soon too. Better get studying… _

"Kairi I know you're listening." He mumbled. I resisted the urge to peek at him through my peripheral vision.

_Vacation…lalalala…._

"About yesterday…I know I acted like a jerk-"He started.

I snapped my head sharply to face him. The feelings from yesterday flooded out and suddenly I was angry all over again.

"Yes you did." I spat, before turning my attention back to the flyer.

"And I know your still mad-"

"Golden star for you, captain obvious." I grumbled sarcastically, refusing to look at him.

"So what I'm trying to say is…" he paused taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

I stayed quiet, trying to ignore his expectant stare. After a few moments he grew impatient.

"Well, are you going to say something?" he asked.

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know, maybe apology accepted or some cheesey thing like that!"

"I don't forgive you; at least, I can't yet." I said calmly, my temper dying down a bit. "Yesterday you really hurt me. And now I don't even know how to act around you because of it." I turned to look at him. His face was white with horror.

"If you have a problem with me then just tell me, don't scream at me." I said firmly.

"It's not you I have a problem with," He muttered sourly. His tone flared my temper again.

"Quite frankly Roxas, I'm getting tired of your little temper tantrums!" I said angrily. "I don't understand any of it! You're fine one minute and then the next you're angry with me. What did I do? What do I do to you that makes you so angry?"

Roxas froze, his eyes transfixed on me. I could see them crumbling down to the soft texture.

"I-it's not you…" He started, his voice faltering. I snorted.

"It's not you, it's me? Really Roxas?"

"It is me," He said miserably looking down at his desk. "I-I can't tell you- and I just get so pissed off because I can't say it!"

"Say what?" I probed. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew. I think I always knew what he wanted to tell me back at the beach. It felt like so long ago that we were both at the beach in each other's arms. I shook that thought away.

"Tell me what, Roxas?" I pressed. He shook his head and a wave of disappoint and anger hit me harder than a basketball to the face.

"I can't- not now…"

I waited until I was absolutely sure he wasn't going to tell me.

"Fine." I said coldly. And that was that. We didn't talk to one another the whole homeroom and the rest of the day. Things went back to the way they were at the beginning of the year. No that's not true. For some reason I couldn't help but feel that our roles had switched. I was the one ignoring him instead of the other way around. And I didn't mind. I didn't care actually.

At that moment I wanted nothing to do with Roxas and I was completely fine with that thought.

x.X.x

The rest the school day droned on. The only difference was that I found on my free time I was hanging out with Sora, and Namine and Riku disappearing every few minutes during lunch. We both sat on the bleachers overlooking the football team practice. We both needed to be away from our friends, friends that were acting more like enemies.

"You know, it still surprises me," Sora's voice broke my train of thought. I looked over at him. His eyebrows were pulled together in frustration. But as soon as he saw me looking at him, they smoothed out, making him look thoughtful.

"What?" I asked.

"Riku and Namine… He knew I liked her. And yet he never said anything to me." He said softly. I flashed him a sympathetic stare.

"Sora…"

"Nah, it's ok, because they look oh so cute together anyway." He joked sarcastically, pointing ahead of us at two figures in the distance. I immediately recognized them as Namine and Riku. I made a face, causing Sora to burst out laughing.

"You don't approve of Namiku?" He asked. I couldn't help but laugh too.

"You gave them a nickname? Oh jeez." I giggled.

"Well yeah, all couples have to have some kind of nickname." He gave me a furtive glance. "If we were a couple we'd be SoKai."

"No way! Why does your name go first?" I argued, secretly pleased with the way he combined our names. Oh god, I must sound like some desperate fan girl.

"Because it sounds better Kaiora," He replied.

"Yeah you're right… coming from the freak who gives nicknames to couples."

"Hey!" Sora said angrily, pushing me down bench of the bleacher. "That is so mean!"

"I should have warned you I'm not a very nice person." I laughed trying to get up, but he kept pushing me down. "Ugh will you stop it!?!"

"No!" He said mischievously. "You have to apologize first!"

"Tch, like that's ever going to happen!"

"Kairiii!" He called out, before pinning my hands over my stomach. "Apologize or I'm going to sit on you!"

"No!"

"Say your sorry!" he warned. I couldn't help but giggle as he tried to threaten me.

"No way!"

Before I knew it I had Sora's butt right on my stomach. I'll admit I wasn't exactly enjoying myself.

"Sora get off!" I said trying to sound angry. "I'm sorry ok?!!" He chuckled in triumph getting up. He turned around to face and somehow he slipped (a magical banana peel appeared) and fell on top of me.

I literally turned into a statue. My body froze up when I felt his against mine. Sora lifted his head up and realized where he had fallen. His expression was full of panic. He reflected how I felt.

Our faces were so close; I swear our noses were touching.

"Sora…" I found myself whispering. My face was so boiling hot, that I hoped he couldn't feel the heat emanating from me. I didn't really pay much attention to his facial color because I was too captivated by his eyes, which were slowly closing. It took me a moment to realize he was leaning forward. Sora was freakin' leaning forward! And I was frozen in place, staring unblinkingly at the perfection who was currently trying to kiss me.

But I knew it was too good to be true, as soon as I started to close my eyes the bell rang, making Sora jump up and fall over the next step of bleachers. I gasped out loud as if I was holding my breath. Come to think of it I think I was holding my breath.

"Sora, are you alright?" I called out, once I found my voice. He sprang up and dusted off his clothes.

"Yeah…" He cleared his throat. "So I'll meet you here after school. Ok?"

"Sure."

And with that he ran off. I hoped he wasn't as embarrassed as I felt.

x.X.x

True to my word, I met up with Sora afterschool at the same place. Namine didn't question my hasty exit because she was soon greeted by Riku outside the door. I think I really threw up in my mouth when I saw him.

"Ok so my house." I said after meeting up with Sora. He nodded his head.

"Yep, so lead the way!"

We both walked back towards my house, enjoying each other's company. At least, I was enjoying his company. Sora would launch into one of his crazy stories. I noted how he always tried to avoid talking about Riku and about Roxas, mostly for my sake. That only made me admire him more.

Sora was currently going in to detail about how exactly he broke his arm when we reached my house. I noticed him stop short but I continued anyway.

"Um…Kairi?"

"What's the matter?" I asked, looking over my shoulder at him, but continuing to walk. Now that I think about it, that's a pretty dangerous way to walk. I could have easily tripped over something. Anyway back to the point, I walked up the steps of my porch, turning to look ahead of me. What I saw immediately made me freeze on the spot.

Right in the middle of the porch stood Roxas, leaning back on the front door staring at me intensely.

_Aw, crap. _

**DUN DUN DUH!!!! *CLIFF HANGER ALERT!* XD XD**

**MUAHAHAHAHa xD oK...**

**_Well I feel bad for the whole cliff hanger thing...so I'll give you guys a preview of the next chappie...just a little one :D_**

_"WHAT THE HELL!!?"_

_"I've never ever in my life been jealous of Sora, o-or anything he's had."  
_

_"Roxas, I don't… I don't want hear anymore,"_

_"Stop acting like a little kid and just listen to what I have to say!"_

_"You know I won't ever like you that way."_

_"Look Kairi, there's something you should know about Roxas,"_

_"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."_

\**_I might be able to update in a few days... b/c I'm on Vacation right now!! *woot woot*...then again I am grounded.... XD I'll find a way don't worry!_**

**_REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!!  
_**


	19. Chapter 18

**WARNING WARNING WARNING!!! THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SEVERAL 'WTF' MOMENTS!!! XD**

**Well, it is sort of true. Ah, I updated in record time! How long has it been two days? Idk whatever it doesn't matter. Ah, this chapter makes me so depressed, hate the way it came out. There's Roxiri, very little compared to SoKai, so forgive me. Roxiri fans, just hold on a little longer!!! **

**As for the SoKai fans you must be having the time of your lives haha! If you haven't noticed already I changed my summary on the story :3, I thought it was better than the LAME one I had before X)**

**Also, another addition I added is my profile pic! Yep, I drew that piece of crap. It was supposed to be a scene that happens in this chappie...so I guess you'll have to read to find out.**

**SO ENJOY: I DON'T OWN KH WHATEVER!**

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"Kairi," he greeted me, failing to acknowledge Sora.

"What are you doing here?" The words rushed out of my mouth before I could stop it. I heard Sora shuffling his feet behind me uncomfortably. Roxas unfolded his crossed arms, and took a step forward. I could have sworn he almost smiled probably because of my completely baffled expression. His eyes briefly flickered to Sora and frowned slightly.

Poor Sora, I thought, dragged into an awkward situation with me. Life truly does suck. I was about to open my mouth to suggest him waiting for me inside while I got rid of this blond idiot, but he beat me to the chase.

"Um...Kairi, can I use your restroom?" Sora blurted out from behind me. I nodded my head keeping my eyes on Roxas in front of me. Sora shuffled up the steps with his head bowed. Talk about awkward.

"It's down the hall," I informed him, tearing my eyes away from Roxas, to Sora who was staring at me uncomfortably. He could probably feel Roxas' icy glare as he walked passed him into the house.

As soon as the sound of Sora's clumsy footsteps faded Roxas turned back to me, his frown instantly fading. I straightened up, closed my lips to form a tight line, and glowered at him. The anger started to bubble slowly on the surface, threateningly to burst out any minute.

"What are you _doing_ here?" I repeated. It came out harsher than I intended. He seemed unaffected by it and disregarded my question.

"I see you were with Sora?" He finally spoke. I noted his tone was quite sour.

"So?" I snapped. I really wanted to add _What's it you?_ To my question, but I didn't have that heart. Roxas sighed, bringing his hand to his hair and ruffling it.

"You two have gotten pretty close over the last few days huh?" He said rather nastily.

"And. Your point is?"

"Nevermind. I didn't come here to argue with you," He muttered.

"Really now? That's a first." I spat, my glare only intensifying. "What _did_ you come for then?" I asked coldly.

"To talk," He said simply, flashing me an innocent smile. It wasn't contagious. I stubbornly kept my lips pulled down into a frown, watching him warily.

"I don't want to talk…"

_To you_, I thought.

"Please, just listen to me" He said, giving me a look I hadn't seen in a long time. His blue eyes looked watered and he looked up from under his lashes, with a pleading stare. I blinked, my anger subsided momentarily.

"…fine." I sighed irritably, crossing my arms over my chest. I climbed the rest of the steps and leaned back against the porch beam. Roxas reciprocated. "What is it then?"

He gulped, looking down. "Kairi… This morning in home room when you wanted to know why I'm so angry all the time…?"

My frown melted away into a straight line. "Yeah…"

"And you thought it was yourself that was making me so angry?"

"Yes," I said slowly.

"And I told you it wasn't… it was me?" He asked, his voice was an octave higher. "And that I couldn't tell you why…I know that I must be making you frustrated with my unresponsive answers. That time where we were at the beach… I was so close to telling you, but that idiot, Hayner completely messed up the mood. And since then I've been avoiding the subject all together." He looked angry for a second. His eyes filled with some kind of burning passion, it made me uncomfortable.

I didn't respond. I knew very well where this conversation was going. As much as I wanted to know, I wanted to avoid this subject as well. I knew that nothing good would come from this little 'talk' right now. Nothing good for _us_.

"But I'm tired of avoiding it. If this is what's going to happen to us," He gestured using his hands. "Us, fighting and ignoring each other, then I'm done keeping the truth from you. Kairi-"

"-Maybe this isn't such a good idea," I interrupted hastily, feeling like a complete coward. What was wrong with me? I knew this 'confession' would come sooner or later, after I accepted the fact that Roxas may… just…possibly, have feelings for me. I shook my head.

"But Kairi-" He started I cut him off again.

"You know what? I forgive you!" I said, trying to act cheery. Roxas stared at me doubtfully.

"Kairi…" He said patiently, obviously seeing through my façade.

"You can go home now-"

"Kairi, please,"

"-And everything will be back to normal-

"KAIRI!"

"-And we'll just laugh about this whole thing and forget about-"

"Kairi, I like you!" Roxas said suddenly. I stopped midsentence, my mouth hanging open.

"Huh?" _Nice Kairi… real nice._

Roxas appeared to be frozen… and completely red.

"I said_ I like you_," He muttered through gritted teeth. He was looking away but I could still see a light shade of red in his face. He clenched his hands into tight fists that his knuckles were white.

I felt my face flush, and I knew I was blushing. And I hated myself for that! Honestly, I knew he was going to say something along those lines, and yet why did I feel completely flustered and surprised!? How in the hell was I supposed to react to this?! I didn't know what to do but stare at him incredulously. His blue eyes were on me as if I were being x-rayed and that only made me blush even deeper.

I don't know how long I was standing there in my crazed stupor, my jaw hung open and heart aflutter. But eventually I closed my mouth and started stammering incoherently. I caught a few things coming out of my mouth like 'idiot' and 'oh my god' and 'what the hell', but none of it made sense. I was so distracted by myself, trying to form an intelligible statement that I was completely unaware of Roxas moving closer to me

I looked up; about to make some kind of smart-aleck comment (I thought that was the safest way to play it, like saying 'Oh I like you too…as a F-R-I-E-N-D' and then plan my escape) but Roxas suddenly closed the gap between us.

I swear time froze. All I was aware of was Roxas' dark blonde bangs in my face, his hands clutching the sides of my cheeks, and the rich minty winter fresh smell filling my nose. And then slowly, as if my senses were sluggishly reacting, I felt something soft and warm brushing my mouth. I blinked twice, before my eyes bulged out to find another face, up in _my_ face. It took me a moment to realize that it was Roxas kissing me… on the lips. My heart skipped a beat, my pulse raced, my body trembled and for the briefest second I enjoyed the kiss. Emphasis on the _brief._

As if triggered by the snap of my fingers, my anger flared and I shoved him off of me. I think I shoved him a little too harshly because he toppled over, staring at me wide-eyed.

"WHAT THE HELL!!?" I burst out, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. My lips burned against the contact of my hand. "WHAT THE HELL ROXAS?!!?"

Roxas scooted away from me as I advanced on him. I was absolutely livid.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?! TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ME LIKE THAT!?" I shrieked, stomping closer towards him. He looked terrified as he tried to stand up and back away.

"K-Kairi… I'm... I'm sorry!!!" He stuttered.

"OH YOU'D BETTER BE SORRY!!! JEEZ I SHOULD TOTALLY CASTRATE YOU RIGHT NOW!"

"I-it was just a kiss…" Roxas mumbled feebly looking away.

"JUST A KISS?! ROXAS THAT WAS MY FIRST KISS, YOU DUMB ASS!!!" I screamed, feeling my eyes water. Stupid stupid tears. " I WAS… I was…" My voice faltered as I realized what I was about to say. I sunk down on the steps. Roxas took advantage of my temper, which was now non-existent at this point, and sat next to me.

"You were saving it for someone else," He said softly. I nodded my head. I knew that he was implying a certain someone who was currently using the facilities in my house.

"I'm sorry," His voice was as clear as a silver bell. I didn't say anything. What the hell was I supposed to say to him?

'_Oh it's ok I guess that makes up for the fact that I don't return your undying affection for me. So now we're even.'_

Blah, that even sounded bad in my head. Roxas must have taken my silence as irritation because he apologized again.

"Kairi I'm really sorry about that... I just couldn't…" He stopped, face palming. He took a deep breath and looked up, a deep blush forming across his pale cheeks. "You won't believe how long I've wanted to do that… You have no idea how much I lo-… like you."

I pretended I didn't catch his mess up and tried to play off the whole thing as angry.

"You have a funny way of showing it," I said indifferently. Instantly, the gravity of the situation really hit me like a giant yellow school bus (A/N: XD Mean girls). Roxas just told me he liked me, might even love… _No I refuse to believe that._

Anyway Roxas likes me. But he knows that I like Sora. And I know Sora likes Namine. But Namine likes Riku. And Riku likes… well, he likes _girls_. This whole thing was starting to sound like some sick teenaged love story that comes on those stupid girly channels.

"I'm sorry,"

_No comment._

"Kairi…"

I felt something stroke the top of my hand. I looked down to see our hands intertwined and his thumb moving in lazy circles on my knuckles. This whole time, I didn't even notice that I was holding his hand. _Sneaky Bastard._

"I know you like Sor-…_someone_ else," Pause. I looked down, trying to wriggle my fingers from his without him noticing.

"But maybe someday you could like me and we could be more than…" He trailed off, struggling to complete the sentence even though I already knew how it would finish. I pulled my hand away, causing him to stop and look. "Kairi, the way you long for _him_ is the way I long for you-"

"Roxas just stop! Please-" I burst out, clamping my hands over my ears. I didn't want hear it. I didn't want hear his confession, because I knew that I would end up hurting him. And I didn't want that. I cared about him too much to do that.

"Kairi! Will you please listen to me?" He begged, trying to remove my hands from my ears but I only held on tighter. "Stop acting like a little kid and just listen to what I have to say!"

"I don't want to!" I screamed back at him.

"And why not, eventually you're going to have to listen." He clutched both my wrists try to pry them off my head. Why couldn't he just leave me alone? At this moment, I wished I were alone. I hated this; I hated not being able to make anyone happy but myself.

"Because," I said slowly, my voice trembling the more I spoke. I dropped my arms from my face; his hands were still on my arms. "I'm going to hurt you." I looked up at him; he was staring back down his face full of bitterness and misery. I desperately wished to look away but his eyes held mine as prisoner.

He laughed unhappily, not reaching his defeated eyes. "I can tolerate a little pain."

"Roxas, I… I-"but I stopped. I didn't know what to say. What was I supposed to say? Everything I thought about saying was still going to hurt him, and I couldn't bring myself to just tell him.

"Kairi," He whispered his voice quivering. "I've never ever in my life been jealous of Sora," I cringed when he let the name slip. "O-or anything he's had." Roxas looked down; it almost looked as if he were crying. But I was proven wrong when he looked back up at me; his soft liquid eyes were as fierce as ever. "Until you came into the picture."

I stayed quiet, unable to speak again. My mind was in disarray. No one had ever said that to me, or in that way. Not even Sora.

"You're quite a hopeless romantic aren't you Roxas," I said lamely trying to make a joke but he ignored.

"I'm not kidding around, Kairi; you've brought back these feelings in me I haven't felt in a very long time and I never would have thought I could ever feel them again." He said softly. "I love y-"

"Roxas, I don't… I don't want hear anymore," I said. I broke our locking gaze, to stare down at my shoes. "You're making it incredibly hard to just- to-"

"-To what? Reject me?" He laughed, but there was nothing funny about his laugh. "Kairi, I'm no stranger to rejection. And I knew- I knew that was probably what you were going to do."

"Then why did you tell me? Do you just enjoy toying with my emotions!?" I cried incredulously, feeling my blood boil with anger and humiliation.

"Of course not! You needed to know." Roxas said simply.

"I didn't want to know!" I screamed. "Right now, you're making me feel like a bad person because confessing is not going to make a difference! You know I won't ever like you that way."

"You never know." He muttered stubbornly.

"Trust me, I do. I'm sorry but it'll never happen Roxas." I said.

"When I prove you wrong you'll feel so stupid." He promised.

"_It's just a crush_, Roxas! You'll get over it," I spat, using the exact words he said to me. He pursed his lips, looking at me smugly.

"I guess you're right." He said, turning his away from me, so I was staring at the back of his blond head. I felt guilty for doing this to him. I knew that underneath his brave face he was really hurting. A part of me truly wished to make him happy, but that was unrealistic. It will _never_ happen.

He jumped up from his seat next to me, dusting off his jeans and I just stood there staring at him. He wouldn't look at me. He cleared his throat before going down the steps and walking towards the sidewalk. I sprang from my seat and before he took another step foreword, I quickly grabbed his hand and held it in both of mine.

"I am… really sorry, Roxas." I said sincerely. My eyes started to build up with tears of guilt. He turned his head slightly to glance down at me. He shrugged his shoulders as if to brush me off.

"_Cheer up."_ He said, smiling sadly. "I'll live."

For the first time, his eyes were empty. No matter how hard I searched I could not find the liquid soft or hard surface that usually occupied them. I let out a tiny gasp when he tugged his hand from mine and walked away until I could no longer see him.

I backed up, and fell down on the steps. What have I just done?

x.X.x

It felt like ages before I heard Sora coming out the front door.

"Kairi?" He mumbled cautiously. I glanced over my shoulder, and tried to flash him a smile but couldn't. He pulled his brown eyebrows together, and plopped down next to me. I sighed, pulling my legs up against my chest, and resting my chin on my knees.

Sora sighed softly, stretching and wrapping an arm over my shoulder. "Sorry, I overheard the end of your um… conversation." He said guiltily. I shot him a halfhearted glare.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked carefully. I shook my head slowly.

"What is there to talk about? You heard everything." I mumbled sadly. A sudden cold chill ran through my spine. If he heard everything, then he must have heard about me and my feelings for him. I went into a little internal frenzy thinking of all the things I could possibly say to cover and lock my feelings up.

"Well, not everything," He admitted sheepishly. A wave of relief passed through me, and I couldn't help but let out a quick sigh. "I only got the gist of it. You rejected him… didn't you?"

_Rejected…_

"God I feel so terrible." I said shamefully, closing my eyes. "I'm such a jerk."

"You're not," Sora reassured giving me a comforting squeeze. I felt his hand on my head and his fingers through my hair, stroking every strand. "It's good that you did that, because if you didn't like him back then you wouldn't have been happy with him. So in the end, it's just the best for everyone."

"It still doesn't make me feel good," I mumbled stubbornly. "I feel like I broke him or something."

"You probably did," Sora said wisely. "Poor guy."

"Ugh," I groaned, smacking him on the chest. "You're the world's best shoulder to cry on, you know that?" I snapped sarcastically, causing him to laugh shortly.

"Ha, I'm sorry," Sora said, flashing me his signature grin. I could feel the corners of my lips tugging upward slightly in a returning smile. "For a second there, I could relate to Roxas. I wonder if Namine felt like you did after she rejected me," He said thoughtfully.

"Possibly, but then again she had distractions…" I said. I felt Sora go rigid, and I instantly regretted saying that. But he relaxed clearing his throat.

"Aw, Rox both of us rejected by the object of our affection." He said, wiping a fake tear. My smile slowly fell. Just as quickly as Sora was able to cheer me up, he knew exactly how to squash those brief moments of bliss.

"Ha-ha," I mumbled, turning away from him. Sora dropped his hand from my hair.

"I'm sorry; I'm being insensitive again aren't I?"

"It's ok I guess. I deserve it anyway." I said quietly. I heard him groan angrily. He pulled me closer to him.

"Blah, will you stop being like that?" He complained. "You need to stop being such a mope. Both you and Roxas don't deserve any of this, but it's just how life works. It sucks, plain and simple."

"You're philosophy does make sense," I agreed with a bitter laugh. He joined in my laughter. And then I did something bold, something I probably wouldn't have done before, I wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Thank you, Sora," I whispered, resting my head on his shoulder. The crisp ocean scent hit my nose, instantly, making me feel as if I were actually at the beach. I closed my eyes, inhaling his scent deeply. Somehow I couldn't help but feel like there was still something missing. I didn't ponder too much on it, because Sora brought me from my thoughts.

"Will you look at us? We're a total mess. Two broken people," Sora laughed.

"I'm not broken," I protested against his shoulders. "Just sad."

"Yes you are! Sad equals broken." Sora explained. I honestly didn't understand his logic but I nodded, giggling anyway.

"Two lost souls?" I added, feeling metaphoric all of a sudden.

"There you go!" He encouraged. "Ok what else?"

"Um… two lost souls… Oh, brought together to-"

"-To make the other whole again!" Sora exclaimed excitedly, pounding the air with his other arm. "Sweet we've got our SoKai motto down!"

"Jeez, and I thought the nicknames were cheesy," I said, shaking my head with a smile on my face.

"Kairiiii don't make fun of my nicknames! They're cute and you know it!" He argued.

x.X.x

I had completely forgotten about the whole _date_-thing whatever it's called with Sora, therefore all the previous excitement came full blast on the way over there. I tried to forget about Roxas and his confession; I honestly did, just for Sora's sake. I didn't want him to be with a depressed companion. But I couldn't help but feel a nagging feeling in the back of my mind, asking questions like '_What am I going to do?' 'Where does this leave us now?' 'How am I going to face him?' _.

How am I going to face him after all of this? The confession? The kiss?

I felt my face flush as I thought about the kiss. I still couldn't fathom the fact that he actually kissed me. _Roxas… kissed me. _As if to prove this, my lips started to tingle again, and that sensation in my stomach churned uncomfortably. I shivered, trying to shake off the feeling.

"You cold?" Sora asked breaking me from my thoughts. We were both standing at the bus stop, Sora leaning against the bus stop post. He was already unzipping his sweater. "It is getting cold…"

"Which is why you should keep yours on," I pointed, feeling goose bumps erupt as I soon started to notice how cold it _was_ getting. The sun had already set, but the pinkish orange colors remained stained on the sky.

"Which is why I came prepared," He said smugly, ripping off his jacket to reveal another jacket underneath the first. He draped it over my shoulders, and I put my arms through the sleeves, warmth spreading through my body instantly. I burst out laughing.

"Jeez, you are _so_ strange Sora," I laughed.

_But that's why like you…_

"Do you always where heaps of clothing during summer?" I teased.

"Kairiiii!" Sora pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. "If you're going to be this mean, I want my sweater back!"

"No! It's warm!" I said, burying myself in his hood, and wrapping my arms around myself. He stood back and gave me a sort of satisfied expression. I was about to question it, but something else caught my attention.

"The bus!" I cried out jumping up and down. Sora turned and did the same thing. Now, any normal sane person would have looked down upon our behavior. But any normal sane person would have understood after waiting an hour and a half for stupid bus with a bunch of weirdoes trying to sell you bus tokens.

When the bus pulled up, I was holding back tears of joy, well not literally.

"Your chariot awaits you, your highness," Sora said, bowing down and gesturing towards the local metro transit bus, whose doors were open waiting for us to board. The bus driver glared at us as we laughed our heads off.

"Are you kids coming in or not?" He growled behind the steering wheel. My face flushed, and I nodded my head feebly, hopping on the steps and depositing a dollar into the coin eater. Sora followed soon and we both sat down on a two seater bench at the back of the bus.

"Tch, be more rude will yah?" Sora muttered under his breath, glowering at the back of the driver's head. Suddenly I got this ominous feeling that the driver was aware of Sora's back talking.

"Sora," I scolded.

"What? Did you see him mad dogging us before we got on? Seriously we should make a complaint!" He mumbled. His comment reminded me vaguely of another time someone made a complaint. Except this time I doubted Sora would get free sea salt ice cream for making a bus driver pissed off. I laughed inwardly at this thought, maybe if it were Namine. She could pull that off anywhere.

_Namine… What are you doing now?_

It felt like such a long time since the last time I thought of her. I couldn't help but feel a twinge of frustration and anger. Where was she? Where was her shoulder to cry on when I needed it? I thought back to school, we hardly talked at all. I felt so distanced from her. I felt like I was losing my best friend to that man whore and that made me incredibly lonely despite my current company. I'll admit I was jealous of him and all the time he was spending with her. I missed her.

I didn't realize that I sighed out loud miserably.

"Hmm? You bored or something?" Sora questioned. I glanced over at him, completely forgetting that I was on the bus with him.

"No, just thinking," I answered, turning back to look out the window. I met the eyes of a little boy in the passenger seat of the car. He stuck his tongue out at me and I couldn't help but turn away.

"What are you thinking of?" He probed curiously, poking me in the stomach. My lips tugged upwards as I swatted his hand away.

I opened my mouth but then closed it. "Just stuff…" I said lamely. Sora pursed his lips, looking completely unsatisfied.

"You're not going to tell me are you?" He asked sourly.

I smiled at him. "Nope."

All of a sudden I felt his arm around my shoulder, his hand on my face, and then his fingers tugging at my cheek.

"You sure you don't want to tell me?" He asked evilly, pulling harder.

"Hey!! Quit it!" I snapped, jabbing him in the stomach with my elbow. He released his tight hold for a moment before grabbing both of my cheeks and pulling them upward, forcing me to smile.

"C'mon Kairiiii!" HE laughed.

"Ugh, persistent idiot!" I growled, trying to pry his hands away from my face, but in the end I was only hurting myself.

"Ooh look at you, with your high society vocabulary." He teased in a British accent.

"That was the worst accent I've ever heard in my life!" I complained angrily.

"Aww look at those two, they're so adorable," I heard someone say. Immediately, I turned my head to find the source. There were two middle aged ladies, holding rather large grocery bags, pointing at us with good natured smiles plastered on their faces. Sora must have heard too because he dropped his hands from my face.

"Are you two going on a date?" One asked curiously. My face was probably red, and not because of being pinched.

_Damn nosy women! _

"How long have you been together?" The other asked. I blinked, losing my ability to speak. It had just dawned on me, how very much of a couple we looked like right now. I looked down at the large sweater was wearing. Sora's sweater.

"Uh, yes ma'am we are!" Sora said cheerfully, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. I prayed my face wasn't as red as a tomato. I felt his hand on my head, and his finger ruffling up my hair. "But we're just friends!"

_Just friends…_

God how I hate that phrase so much. It's so freakin' overused. But it's so true.

One of the older ladies caught my face fall and I looked away hurriedly. I could have sworn I saw her shoot me a sympathetic stare, as if she knew exactly what my feelings were and exactly what kind of situation I was in. Suddenly I found the frayed end of one of Sora's sweater sleeves extremely interesting.

_Just friends…_

x.X.x

"Well the movie was utter crap… no offense?" I offered after walking out of the dark lit theater room. Sora looked thoughtful for a moment, throwing the popcorn bag in the trash on the way out the door.

"It wasn't that bad," He reasoned.

"Sora it didn't make any sense!" I argued. "Are you going to tell me you learned a motivational life changing lesson from that piece of crap we saw?"

He started laughing. "Ha, I guess you're right."

"You sure know how to pick a movie" I said sarcastically.

"Oh gee thanks!" He chuckled, nudging my arm. "Fine next time you get to pick one out, happy?"

I think I almost spontaneously combusted when I heard him say that. Next time? There was a next time?

"Sure!" I agreed with a smile. I felt the previous blush creep back up.

"I'm hungry," He stated, glancing at me for a response.

"Oh…well I'm kind of-"

"Oh too bad, I'm going to force you to eat, I'm your kidnapper remember?" He winked.

"Really Sora-"

"Do you want me to bring out the rope?"

x.X.x

We ended up eating at some burger place. And he ended up forcing me to go halves with him, apparently he was full too. Full of popcorn and soda. So after chugging down half a burger, I sipped a Soda and watched him force French fries down his mouth.

"Ugh…Kairiii I can't eat anymore!!" He complained.

"Then stop eating," I suggest with a bemused expression.

"But it's a waste of money," He groaned. "Help me finish it."

"It's your fault; you're the one that said you were hungry!" I pointed out, biting down a laugh. Sora shot me a sour look.

"I was stupid, please help me!"

After many protests and Sora's kidnapper crap, I helped him finish the fries disdainfully.

Sora cleared his throat, and wiped his face with a napkin.

"Ok, on the bus…" he trailed off hoping I'd get the hint. I stared at him dumbfounded. He seemed to understand because he rolled his eyes and continued. "What were you thinking? You looked upset."

I internally cursed myself.

"Oh, that," I said.

"Yes that."

"I don't want to tell you." I said.

"I want to know."

"I'm afraid you'll get upset," I admitted guiltily. Sora's eyes narrowed as he drunk in this information.

"That bad?" he asked. I nodded my head meekly. I tried to distract myself with the soda. But soon enough, I finished it, and all I was accomplishing was slurping sounds. "Just tell me anyway."

I hesitated, looked down and then looked back up to meet his eyes. "I was thinking about Namine."

"Oh," I caught his expression flicker, before he relaxed and calmed himself. "What about her?" He asked evenly.

"Look we don't have to talk about this..."

"I want to know." He repeated firmly.

I stared at him warily before speaking. "Well, I was just thinking how we're growing apart."

"Because of Riku?" He guessed. I nodded my head.

"I feel like I'm losing her."

"I believe I _know _how that feels." He muttered sarcastically. I gave him a sympathetic look, before turning away.

"What about you? How are you dealing with your best friends?" I asked, trying to turn the spotlight away from Namine. But that didn't seem to help much because he frowned, and turned away.

"Haven't talked to Riku much…" He mumbled angrily. I noticed how his fists were clenched over the table. After a while they loosened up. "And Roxas-" He looked at me briefly. "Well he doesn't talk to me. And after that whole… thing that happened at your house, I don't know if he'll ever talk again."

"Oh, that totally makes me feel great." I groaned, feeling a wave of guilt hit me. I felt hand clamp over mine and I realized it was Sora's. I looked up to see Sora gazing at me seriously.

"I'm not trying to make you feel bad- it's just…" He began uncertainly. And suddenly the whole conversation took a new turn.

"What is it?"

"Look Kairi, there's something you should know about Roxas," Sora started, he looked over his shoulder before moving closer to me. His eyes and face held absolute seriousness; there was no trace of laughter. "He wasn't always like this- anti social, and bitter, he actually used to be a pretty happy kid. Honor roll student, tons of friends, all of that."

I blinked, finding it incredibly hard to believe what Sora was telling me.

"What… happened?" I asked. I hadn't realized I was shaking with anticipation.

"You have to understand that he's…he's been through a lot, Kairi."

I could tell he was holding back, but trying really hard to say whatever was on his mind.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." I reassured him. But he shook his head.

"No you need to know."

He sighed, closing his eyes before looking at me fiercely. "You know that Roxas moved back here from Twilight Town in middle school right?"

I nodded my head to confirm and Sora went on.

"The reason he came back was because… well because his parents died," Sora said solemnly. He looked down, as if silently praying, before looking back at me.

"H-how?"

"Car crash." He muttered. "They died before reaching the hospital. I don't know what happened in that car, or what Roxas must have seen that was left of his parents, but he was never really himself after that. It took months before he started talking again. And even now he doesn't talk much."

"Why…Why are you telling me this?" I asked.

"Kairi, you really don't realize how much you mean to him do you?" Sora asked incredulously. I felt my face fall into a deep frown. Now where have I heard that from? Can you detect the sarcasm? "I see the way he acts around you and I swear I can see his old self flicker every now and then. I don't know what you do to him or how this happened, but it just did. I think you might be the only person to make him healthy again."

"He's not sick" I said defensively. "He doesn't belong in an asylum."

"I think you're missing the point Kairi," Sora said.

"Can we please just stop talking about this?" I asked desperately. "I-I already feel bad as it is."

"Kairi please-"

"No! I don't want to hear this! I'm tired of everyone telling me who I should like and who I shouldn't! Do you think you're the first person who's told me this or things about how Roxas likes me?" I stammered, pulling my hand away, and glaring out the window of the restaurant. "I-I don't like him. He's not what I want!"

"Then what do you want Kairi?" Sora asked simply. I turned away from the window to glower at him.

_I want you._

"I… I don't know."

x.X.x

We didn't really talk much after that and I hated myself for that. I completely ruined this _date-_thing whatever it's called with Sora and now he probably thinks I'm this cold heartless bitch.

We ended up getting a ride from my cousin Axel because it was getting late to ride the bus. When we reached Sora's house, he hugged me good bye (I sensed Axel's eyes on me through the rearview mirror) and waved as Axel pulled his van out of the driveway. The whole ride home I tried to ignore his constant teasing, but after a few minutes I blew up and started throwing random junk I found in the backseat of his van. It was a pretty unwise decision because he kept swerving more than he already does, and almost hit a streetlamp twice.

By the time I got home I was fuming and absolutely livid. I was sure about three things. One Axel was going to die tomorrow. Two Sora was a pro Roxiri fan and I hated that. And three, Sora's stupid nickname habit was rubbing off on me.

Life sure does suck.

**DUN DUN DUH!!! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!**

**Lol, yep, I don't know when I'll update... I haven't done any of my spring break homword DX**

**So I doubt I'll update anytime soon. (stupid history thesis paper... I hate thesis papers...somebody shoot me)**

**ANYWAY thanks for reading!!!  
**


	20. Chapter 19

**Ok well I lied about updating xD I'm really sorry about that _**

**Anyway, guess what everyone I'm 16 yay! NOOOEEESSS I feel so old T_T...It seemed like it was only yesterday I was shoving play dough and crayons up my nose in Pre-K *sigh* ah well back to the story, ok well this chapter is sort of on the short side only because I cut it b/c if I included the other part it would have been way too long (in my opinion)::: Alright let's see there's going to be SoKai in this one (obviously) and a big ol' Roxiri scene here too... **

**I DON'T OWN KH BLAH BLAH OR ROMEO AND JULIET SO DON'T SUE**

**ENJOY::  
**

* * *

_September_

_October_

_November_

_December_

Months went by quickly, more quickly than I expected it to. Soon it was a week before vacation started, which meant winter formal and finals were drawing near as well. Ugh. As if that couldn't possibly deepen my mood.

Things with Roxas weren't going great either. It felt like he completely closed himself off to the world. Not that he didn't before, but he felt unreachable at this point. We only talked to each other if we really had to, like in class. It didn't even feel like how things were before, it felt ten times worse, which made me even more guiltier than I was prior to the whole confession. Honestly what was I supposed to do? What was I supposed to say? Every time I tried to talk to him he would make it absolutely impossible to hold out a conversation with.

School truly became this monotone blur. I felt miserable. I couldn't even really talk to Namine either, she was with Riku doing god knows what during nutrition and lunch. And every time class started she'd always have that stupid goofy smile and a flustered expression plastered over face.

Blah, I swear I acted like Ms. Robotic-Bio teacher during classes.

But I guess there's always a Brightside to all of this because things with _Sora_, on the other hand, were going pretty well. Ok, well more than just _well._ He was like the Visine to clear away the entire blur from school. It was great! Sora was fun and just all around comfortable. We were always together and I enjoyed being with Sora, excluding the fact that I had a mad crush on him. He was so easy to get along with. It was effortless, definitely much easier to be around than other boys I knew…

Speaking of which, some of the boys I knew were just plain stupid. Let's take Hayner for example (Olette totally agrees with me). During first period he was passing out flyers with a very cheesy photo of him on it.

I grabbed one off the desk I went to go sit at and looked confusedly at Olette and Namine. I opened my mouth to question this when I saw Hayner himself with a huge stack of the said flyers.

"Come to my party, it's going to be awesome!" He called out cheerily, handing one out to a group of giggling girls. I caught Olette sulking in the background.

"What is he doing?" I questioned, watching him scratch the back of his head shyly as he attempted to flirt. I had to restrain myself from rolling my eyes.

"Advertising his stupid party," Olette grumbled, crossing her arms and looking away from him. I felt a smile creep on my lips and suddenly I got a very ironic feeling that our roles reversed.

"Why is he having a party?" Sora's voice suddenly came from behind me. He nudged my arm playfully as a greeting. Before I grinned at his gesture my eyes flickered towards Namine, who cleared her throat awkwardly, looking away. Sora took no notice of this. A new change in Sora: He hardly took any notice of Namine nowadays. I guess because she's hauling baggage now; Riku. I found a hard time keeping my lips pulled down from a triumphant smile.

"It's his birthday tomorrow," Olette continued rolling her green eyes. The girls Hayner was talking to waved girlishly towards him as he began taping his flyers all over the classroom. He smiled cheekily towards them. "He said he was only going to invite our group of friends… But apparently the whole school falls underneath that category. Ugh, I don't even think I want to go anymore."

"You should," Sora reasoned. "He's your friend, he needs you."

Olette glared at him furiously her cheeks flushed a bright red.

"He doesn't _need_ anything!" She snapped, before stomping off towards her seat. Sora and I snickered as we took our seats too, another new change. I suddenly felt the back of my neck prickle, feeling eyes on me. My head spun to the source and I caught Roxas staring at me with the same empty blue eyes that gazed at me after I rejected him. It was probably the only time, in a long time we stared at each other for longer than five seconds. Immediately I stopped laughing and turned away.

Once the bell rang, the teacher walked over to the front of the class, turning around and ripping off Hayner's flyer from the board (Hayner cursed incoherently under his breath).

"Utter nonsense…" I heard her mutter angrily. "Ok, now class open up your books and turn to uhh…" she flipped through her notes. In the mean time I pulled out my book. Romeo and Juliet. Ugh, I know; the _typical cliché_ book that has to be read in high school. Everyone I know has read this at least once. This was the last thing I wanted to read. "Act two, scene two."

I heard the boys groan loudly and the girls squeal in delight as they realized it was the famous balcony scene. _Sucks for whoever is playing Romeo or Juliet_ I thought. As if some mystical force that was out to get me heard my thoughts and ruined my life. One word: Karma.

"Ok Juliet will be played by Selphie," the teacher said. I had to keep from snorting. _Haha Selphie as Juliet?_ Boy do I feel bad for Romeo. I looked up when the teacher made a tsk-ing noise. "Hmm, it seems Miss Selphie is not present today…shame. So next in line for torture- ahem- reading is… Kairi!"

I dropped my book and sputtered nonsense. Ok, what the hell happened? I thought I was in the clear! I gaped at the teacher as if I heard wrong.

"Aww, how cute Kairiii," Sora chimed in, pinching my cheek. I would have done something back but I still too shocked. Why does everything bad have to happen to me!

"No you can't- you can't do this!" I gasped. The teacher disregarded my babbling and consulted her attendance sheet to pick Romeo. Three guesses who it was, I thought sarcastically, glancing furtively at the blonde.

"And Romeo will be…Roxas."

Ok, Karma is such a bitch, enough said.

I held back a cry. Just my luck! How did I know that this was going to happen?

Roxas didn't look as shocked as I felt. His jaws were clenched; dark eyebrows pulled together, and blue eyes straightforward. He was basically ignoring me! Slightly miffed, I got up and walked to the front of the class, dragging my feet. I was already afraid of being in front of the class; with Roxas with me the whole situation became worse!

I glanced at Sora who was giving me a smug grin. _Stupid pro Roxiri fan._

My eyes fell on Roxas who was staring blankly at the teacher.

"Come on now Roxas we don't have all day!" The teacher reprimanded. Roxas shook his head and joined me up in the front of the class.

_Oh god oh god oh god please kill me._

"Romeo start!"

Roxas hesitated, choking, before beginning to read. It was soft and shy and immediately I felt my heart swell at his speech.

"_But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?  
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun…" _He began Romeo's monologue and I found myself staring at him instead of following along with my book. So when it was Juliet's turn to talk I was lost. The teacher scolded me about not being able to pay attention so grudgingly I continued. I occasionally stuttered over Shakespeare's damn writing (stupid thee's and thou's) and I heard the teacher sniggering into her book. Seriously?

"_O__ Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?..."_

I blazed through Juliet's monologue, wishing for this whole scene to end faster or at least the bell to ring sooner. My face was flushed and my voice was all shaky and I was acutely aware of how all the class's attention was on me.

"_Fain would I dwell on form, fain, fain deny  
What I have spoke: but farewell compliment!..." _ I paused, my eyes glued to the next line in my book.

_Dost thou love me?_ Dost thou…love me? I know it was probably a simple and meaningless statement compared to all the other metaphoric crap in the scene but that one line stuck out to me. It held more meaning to me than any of the other lines.

"_Dost… Dost thou… love me?_" The words grazed my throat as they came out of my mouth. And suddenly that question turned personal. I couldn't finish the rest of Juliet's dialogue, my voice died out. I couldn't even read the text in front of me. I couldn't help but glance up at the person standing in front of me. His face was remotely serious, and his hard blue eyes were burning through me with a newfound passion in them. And for the first time in a long time I was captivated by them. My throat turned dry as I gazed at him, who in turn, was doing the exact same thing. My eyes shifted down to his lips, suddenly aware of them moving. He was talking.

"I do… love you." I heard him say softly. My pulse quickened and I swear my heart skipped a beat. I cleared my throat looking back down in my book. Romeo wasn't supposed to talk. I got the feeling that Roxas misinterpreted my line. Hell, I misinterpreted my line. I didn't even get to finish the freakin' line!

I felt my face flush, when I looked back at him. His dark blonde eyebrows pulled together, and his blue eyes held mine in a trance.

"You _do_?"

"I do..." He whispered.

I heard someone far away calling my name. I blinked and suddenly I was aware of the whole classroom staring at me and Roxas their eyes wide with shock. I blushed and started up reading again.

"_I know thou wilt say 'Ay,'  
And I will take thy word: yet if thou swear'st,  
Thou mayst prove false; at lovers' perjuries  
Then say, Jove laughs."……….._

I was thankful class was finally over. If I had to sit in class and have to deal with Sora's teasing, Namine's smug grin, the class's wolf whistles, Olette's sighing ("Oh how romantic") and Roxas' stupid stares I was going to kill myself! This was beyond embarrassing! I could not believe Roxas _Roxas Roxas_ dropped the L-Bomb… in front of the whole damn class! Now, I probably would have preferred his silent treatments. Anything but this. Now the whole school probably thinks we're in this secret relationship, well not so much a secret anymore even if there was one. Which there isn't!

x.X.x

"Kairi and Roxas sitting on a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

"Shut up Sora!" I yelled out covering my ears. We were sitting out on the bleachers overlooking the football team practice for the five billionth time. It became our unofficial hangout spot ever break period. I slumped down on the cold metal bleacher, wrapping myself around my sweater partly because it was cold and partly to hide my red face.

"Aww, but Kairiii he luuurves you!" Sora joked wrapping an arm around my shoulder for warmth.

"Oh god will you please stop saying that! You kept writing it all over my notebook in class! Don't you think I've had enough?" I asked incredulously. Sora threw this head back and laughed, at the same time his beanie fell off.

He moved his arm away (a sudden chill overcame me) to grab his hat.

"You should have seen your face in class though Kairi, it was so cute! You were all red! Roxas should have thrown both of your books away and had his way with you then and there!" I opened my mouth to protest my face a blushing fit. "If I was Romeo I would have done it." He finished with an adorable wink. I opened my mouth again and then closed it and then opened and closed it. I probably looked like some red fish.

Sora noticed my silent stammering and his smile grew.

"Aww, did I make little Kairi embarrassed?" He asked in a mocking baby voice. He held out his arms invitingly.

"Hmph," I said moving away from his hug.

"Kairiii I'm cold! Come here, now!" He complained and I couldn't help but laugh.

"It's your fault you only brought one sweater. Out of all the times you bring double layers you have to choose the coldest day out of the week to bring only one. Tch, idiot," I said teasingly. Sora pouted, crossing his arms over his chest.

"You're mean! And it was an innocent mistake! Blame the weather lady!" He snapped glaring at me. "I know you're cold too; I can see you shivering so there, I win!" He laughed before grabbing me and pulling me up to his chest.

He sighed contentedly. "Ah, my own personal Kairi blanket."

It was either the most comfortable thing on earth (because I was in the arms of my crush) or the most uncomfortable thing on earth (…_because _I was in the arms of my crush!).

The next thing he did almost made my heart burst through my chest and explode like a fireworks show. He put his face near my neck brushing his nose against it. Instantly I pricked up straighter partly from the cold but mostly because of the fact that Sora's nose, his freakin nose, was on my neck.

"Mmm… you're warm," He commented his warm breath beating against my flushed skin. His hold on me tightened.

"Sora…" I whispered in a shallow breath. "I-… this…" I shook my head to rid myself of the stammering. "Sora this probably looks indecent." I said sternly. "People are watching." Sora lifted his head so that we were at eye level. His bright blue eyes probed mine with innocent curiosity. They were so different from Roxas's, I noted.

"Who cares what people think? They don't understand that we're only friends right?" He questioned, pulling his brown eyebrows together.

_Only friends…_ Those words felt like they were punching holes through my chest. I didn't know exactly how to feel. No that's not true, I felt teased. It felt like somehow he knew precisely what my feelings for him were and he was just dangling himself in front of me on purpose. I shook those thoughts away. How could he have possibly known? I made sure he never knew.

Instantly my mind glimpsed back to Roxas. Was this how Roxas felt around me? My heart sunk as I thought about him. If this was how he was feeling than maybe it would be best to just not be friends with him. If I was constantly hurting him. No, that wouldn't work, he's persistent. Somehow deep down I knew he'd never give up on me. He… loves me. That fact alone pleased me...sort of.

Sora pulled away from me, bringing me back from my thoughts. He reached into his pocket and pulled out one of Hayner's flyers.

"Are you going to this?" He asked me.

"I don't think so…" I started.

"Why not?"

"I don't do parties, Sora." I said with a small smile. He glared at me sourly, before stuffing the flyer back into his pocket.

"Oh yes you do." He replied, grabbing my arm and lifting me up. "We're going to this thing tomorrow night and you're going to like it." He flashed me a mischievous grin and suddenly I began to feel nervous.

"Sora. I don't about this…" He held out a hand to silence me.

"Yes I know you're very excited about this too but it's not until tomorrow. Relax Kairi you party animal!" He laughed.

"Sora I don't think this is a good idea!" I protested but he kept shushing me.

"What's the problem?"

"One I have no one to go with!"

"Silly Kairi, of course you do: Me!" He said cheerily.

"Two I probably won't know anyone there..."

"Kairi, you see these people at school everyday, of course you know them!" He said.

I face palmed. "That's not what I meant." Sora was just not getting it. I really really did not want to go!

"What's reason number three?" Sora asked waiting to shoot it down with his 'perfect solutions'. I felt my face flush in embarrassment.

"I-I…I don't have anything to wear-"

"Not a problem. I already have someone on it." He beamed. "Olette will be at your house after school tomorrow."

"Do I have a say in anything?" I asked incredulously. Sora laughed shaking his head.

"Of course you don't. You're my hostage! Have you forgotten?"

I racked my brain trying to think of anything to stop this whole party plan.

"Ah, what about my parents?"

"What about them? They're not invited." He said with a puzzled expression.

"No but what if they don't let me go, what then huh Mr. I've-got-an-answer-to-everything?"

Sora stared at me for a moment, thinking. He snapped his finger in frustration.

"Oh well, didn't think about that." He said seriously. "Ah, we'll think of something. Worse case scenario we sneak you out through your bedroom window."

"That's a reassuring thought," I said sarcastically putting my face in my hands. What am I going to do? A party? I never once thought I, Kairi, would go to a teen party. I was above it. I didn't like it from what I saw in movies. Booze. Sex. And more Booze. Or the infamous Date-raping. Ugh.

And yet those weren't the biggest reasons worrying me. I couldn't help but fret over the people that would attend this _friendly little get together_.

What if Roxas was there? What then?

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**DUN DUN DUHHHH! XD**

**I'm not even going to bother giving a little preview b/c I plan to post the next chapter later today so keep your eyes open ;D**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW  
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	21. Chapter 20

**BUAHAHHAHA I totally made you guys flip huh? How many of you didn't think I wouldnt' update today raise your hand (raises hand) XD XD**

**Well I proved you (including myself) wrong! I updated! [just in case you didn't read the last disclaimer this was originally pieced in with the previous chappie but I felt that it was too long so yeah!] hahahaha XD Well this chapter is like heavily focused around Roxiri like ALOT! [inspired by Mahamania's suggestion!]  
**

**Also we find something out quite important about our dear Namine :D**

**Anyway Enjoy!**

* * *

Just as Sora had said Olette did show up after school the next day. She was carrying something pink and instantly I felt the wind being knocked out of me.

"What the hell is that!" I demanded incredulously, ripping the thing from her arms to observe it myself. I heard Olette giggle.

"It's called a dress Kairi." She said matter-of-factly, taking the dress back from me and flattening it out on my bed. I grimaced at its shortness. A pink dress with white straps, two black strips running down the sides, with zippers and with a hood connected on the back. **[A/N: Kairi's slutty KH outfit :D]**

"Is this really necessary?" I asked pleadingly.

"Of course it is Kairi; you want to look hot for Roxas don't you? Or is it Sora? I get so confused these days are you going back and forth or what? You know there's a word for that and I believe it starts with an S…" She sniggered at my sudden blush.

"I-I I have no idea what you're getting at!" I stammered angrily. "But one thing is for sure I am no way in hell going to wear that to the party!"

"Oh yes you are Kairi!" She threatened, a dark malicious glint flashed in her green eyes. Before either of us could do anything my bedroom door swung open.

"Girls I have food-…what are you two doing?" My mother asked staring at us confusedly.

"Giving Kairi a make over," Olette replied simply avoiding the subject of that indecent pink thing on my bed.

"A make over for what?" she pressed suspiciously. Yes, go mom, let that authority instinct kick in and stop this whole party thing!

"Um…"Olette started, glancing at me for help." For fun-"

"For a party mom. I'm going to a party…with people from my school." I said helplessly almost pleadingly. "I don't know what might happen. It could be dangerous…"

"That's nice." My mom said absentmindedly, waving me off. "You need to go out more often." And with that my only shred of hope walked out of my room leaving me with the devil's spawn.

"You're mom's _really_ understanding." Olette commented with a sly grin. "So about that dress…"

After a few hours of agony with being almost killed with the eyeliner and mascara, Olette finally stuffed the stupid pink thing on me. She allowed me to wear my converse (thank god) because they were deemed "cute". I walked stiffly in front of the vanity mirror.

"Stop walking like there's a pole stuck up your butt. Sway your hips when you walk and stick out your chest and butt!" She scolded. I walked to the mirror and almost died of shock. There was someone completely unrecognizable staring back at me. Of course the obvious features (red hair and blue eyes) gave away who it was but I couldn't believe it.

"Olette…" I stuttered, touching my face.

"Yes?" She chimed in happily from behind me.

"I look…I look…" I stammered.

"Beautiful, hot, awesome?" she supplied.

"Stupid."

She clutched my shoulders angrily.

"Hey I'm offended after all this work you're going to say you look stupid. Well you are stupid but you look hot!" She huffed angrily in one breath.

"Sorry…" I apologized, turning away from the mirror slowly. "I'm just not used to this."

Her green eyes softened at my honesty. Her grip on my shoulders loosened into a friendly manner. "It's ok." For a moment I really felt some kind of friendship bond with her. Something I've never really felt before with anyone besides Namine. I was about to comment these feelings out loud when Olette continued, returning to her bossy tone.

"Anyway," she said removing her hands and turning away to pick up my clothes. "I can't wait for everyone to see you at the party! Agh they'll be drooling all over you!" Ok the moment vanished as quickly as it came.

I face palmed.

"Olette, what about you? Aren't you going to get dressed?" I pointed out. She grinned at me.

"Of course I am," She reassured, packing up her things.

"Wait aren't you coming with me?"

"Psha no," She laughed, petting my head. "I'm going to wait for my hot date to pick me up…literally hot."

"Huh? But I don't know where Hayner's-"

"Jeez Kairi weren't you listening when I told you? Sora's picking you up duh!" She said. I shook my head and stared at her angrily.

"You did not say that..." I started.

"Oh well then I'm telling you now, anyway Kairi I really got to go. See you later!" She giggled winking at me as she left me still staring at her. I walked over and sat on my bed. This was going to be a long night. Why did I ever agree to go? Oh wait, that's right I didn't! I laid back against my bed counting the seconds to go down. Any minute now, I suppose.

x.X.x

Sora did come as Olette said. And looking quite snazzy, I might add.

He wore a dark black blazer with dark jeans and a white collared shirt. If I squinted closely I noticed the color was light pink not white, I almost fainted in embarrassment.

"Yay we match!" That was the first thing Sora uttered when he saw me. I face palmed. Could this get anymore embarrassing?

"Someone's looking hot!" He said cheekily, making me blush deeply. "Is it for anyone in particular?"

"Olette did this. Ask her." I said flatly.

"Aww, don't be mad get glad," He said happily, grabbing my hand and pulling me down the porch steps. "You really do look nice today." He said sincerely, his eyes were soft and there was goofy smile plastered over his face. Instantly my heart skipped a beat and I forgot how to breathe for a moment.

"You too…" I found myself saying.

"Ah thanks!" He chuckled scratching the back of his head. I turned my attention away from him, to save my heart from bursting out again. What I saw almost yelped when I saw a black car in my drive way.

"Whoa…where'd you get the car from?" I asked staring at the glossy paint. It was so clear and shiny I could see my reflection on it.

"Ah, I have my resources Kairi," Sora said calmly leading me to the passenger seat.

"As long as you didn't commit grand theft auto…"I murmured to myself.

x.X.x

By the time we reached Hayner's house it was already packed and the music was cranked up so loud we heard it before we turned the corner to his street. I gulped when I got out of the car and stared at his house. This really was like those typical teen movies. With people macking on the porch, kids flying off the trees, and there was always one idiot who ran around naked.

"Are you nervous?" Sora's voice rang through my ears. I looked up at him.

"Yeah."

"Me too." He said, before clutching my hand tightly. We both walked hand in hand inside the house.

x.X.x

I'll admit the first thing I saw the first thing that stood out was the color red. I realized it was red hair similar to my own except a hundred times as brighter.

"Axel!" I cried out in shock over the music. He didn't turn around immediately but he did eventually.

"Oh hey cuz!" He slurred. I noticed the bottle of beer he was clutching. Jeez the party didn't even start officially yet and people were already drinking?

"What are you _doing_ here?" I questioned.

"Oh you know I'm hanging owwwwwwuut!" He laughed, swinging his hips to the music except he was way off rhythm. "You're little friend invited me! She thinks I'm hootttt! And she's right!"

Who the hell would be stupid enough to invite my idiot cousin?

As if on cue to my question Olette popped up from behind Axel.

"Hey Axel!" She said flirtatiously. I just gaped at the two of them. I heard Sora chuckle next to me.

"Oh Kairi this is her! This is the friend!" He said excitedly pointing at Olette who was just simply beaming. He turned back to her. "Hey do you wanna see something cool?"

He pulled out a lighter from his pocket and lit up his sweater sleeve and started waving it around.

"Axel! You idiot!" I grabbed the nearest cup I could find and threw it on him, instantly the flames when out.

"Hey stop it! I didn't ask you to stop it I was on fire man!" He babbled angrily.

"Yeah Kairi!" Olette agreed. I disregarded her.

"Axel these are high school students you're 'partying' with! Get out of here before someone gets hurt-" I started.

"Relax Kairi jeez live a little." Axel murmured in the background. I rounded on Olette.

"What are you doing with this guy?" I asked furiously. Olette grimaced sheepishly.

"It's nothing serious, it's just…Hayner doesn't really like him- and I thought… you know?" She mumbled bowing her head.

Before I could open my mouth to tell her how stupid she was, I felt Sora steering me away. We reached the kitchen which wasn't as loud as the living room.

"Are you ok?" He asked me.

"Yes..It's just all this party hype is making me a little nervous." I admitted.

"Why so jumpy Kairi?" He asked lightly, humor touching his tone.

"I don't know…"

"Are you waiting to see someone," He asked making all the implications in the world. I felt my face flush.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I snapped.

"Oh I think you do."

"No you-"

A loud crash broke our conversation. Both of us whipped our heads to see a flustered looking blonde jump up from the floor. I felt Sora stiffen up as a board next to me.

"Um…ah sorry didn't mean to interrupt" Namine stammered, flattening out her white sundress. Her usually pale cheeks were stained with pink.

"You weren't interrupting anything," Sora said indifferently turning away from her.

"I'm still sorry…" She said desperately and suddenly I felt like an outsider overhearing someone else's conversation.

"It's nothing." He said, refusing to look at her. His eyes fell on me. "Do you want some punch? I think it's in the living room. A pretty stupid spot to place the punch huh?" He laughed bitterly before walking out into the living room, leaving me with Namine.

I stared at her. She was leaning against the counter, one of her hands in her face. She sighed.

"He hates me; I know it." She said softly.

"He doesn't. He just doesn't know how to act around you right now." I said with a forced friendly smile. Namine looked up at me and for the first time I felt like her eyes were piercing through me as if she could read every expression and every feeling I ever tried to cover up.

"You… you like him don't you?" She asked, even if it was more of a statement than a question. I gulped and broke away from her gaze.

"What makes you think that?"

"I'm not stupid Kairi." She said coldly and I flinched. "I've seen the way you look at him. I've seen the way you turned away whenever he tried to get my attention or tried to flirt with me. Why do you think I'd always blow him off? Do you really think I could possibly reject someone without a valid reason?"

I glared at her with so much frustration and she reciprocated.

"I have no idea what you're talking about!" I snarled. She ignored me.

"You like him. But you like someone else too." She continued, taking a step closer to me. I stepped back glowering at her. "Sometimes I wish I could knock some sense into you so you could choose already instead of leaving them dangling."

"Hah very ironic considering you've done the same thing with Sora and Riku." I spat back.

"I already told you; I had my reasons to reject Sora, you should know that," She snapped.

"But what's your reasoning on keeping them waiting like you did? Huh? Why did you take your time considering how you wanted to reply to Sora's request?" I said harshly, feeling my hand clench into a tight fist. Namine crossed her arms and stared at me, with a frustrated expression. "Maybe it's because you also have feelings for him."

Namine glared at me unblinkingly. Her pale blue eyes narrowed. "I won't deny it, like some people. I did like Sora. But now I'm with Riku, so that's ended. But you're dragging this out way too long. Roxas is waiting. And if you and Sora keep this 'friendship' up he'll start waiting too."

There was only one thing that registered through my head out of her whole speech. She did like Sora. Sometime through the years she actually did like him back, but the only thing stopping her was… me. I felt sick to my stomach. This was not how I imagined a party would be like and I havent' even been here for a whole ten minutes!

"I'm done talking with you." I said quietly, and turned away.

"You can't keep this up forever." I heard her whisper before I walked out the door. I nearly crashed into Sora who was clutching two cups of red punch. He put them aside once he saw my expression.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"It's nothing," I mumbled. "I just have a headache. I think I'm going to go find the bathrooms."

"Hey… are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Go have fun." I muttered pushing past him. I could feel Sora's questioning stare on my back and I could have sworn I heard the kitchen door swing open and hear him yelling. But maybe it was just the music.

I didn't want to see him. After the truth came out from Namine I wanted to get away from the both of them. She only just made me angrier. Why should I feel guilty about Sora? I liked him just as much as she did, probably more.

I dragged my feet upstairs, looking for the bathrooms. There were more than five doors in the hallway on the second floor.

"Ugh! Why are there so many god damn doors," I cried out angrily, before stumbling towards the nearest door. I opened the first door to find the birthday boy sucking face with Olette.

"Um…" I stuttered awkwardly. Olette broke away from Hayner looking wildly from him to me, completely beet red. She gasped and then slapped him.

"Don't touch me." She sniffed.

"Ow Ollie what the hell?" He cried clutching his face. I shut the door before either one of them could speak again. Obviously that was the wrong door.

I walked further down the hall until something crashed into me. Something that smelled like cheap tobacco. I blinked and found myself faced to face with the stupid crack head Seifer. He was grinning down at me showing off his ugly yellow teeth.

"UGHGHH What? Get off of me!" I nearly screamed shoving the stupid pot head off of me.

"Hey! I remember you!," He chuckled, his nasty breath suffocating me.

"Please get off!" I tried again, struggling from underneath his arms.

"Come on Kairi," He whispered in my ear, making me gag.

"Who the hell invited you anyway!" I snapped.

"Don't you like it like this? I'm comfortable," He said pulling me closer to him.

"WELL I'M NOT!" I yelled, kicking him in the groin again. And just like before at the beach, he collapsed on floor cussing at me. I merely glared at him and skipped away. Ugh, what a jerk! I've had it with these constant interruptions to my trip to the bathroom. _Where the hell is this stupid bathroom anyway?_

Finally I found the right door. I burst through the bathroom and closed it hurriedly sighing in relief. But my relief didn't last too long because what I saw there made me nearly jump out of my skin.

Blonde hair. Surly expression. Icy blue eyes.

Roxas was leaning over the sink, staring at me through the mirror, his expression grim.

"Sorry," I mumbled, turning around to open the door except it wouldn't open. I jiggled the doorknob only to find it stuck.

"It won't work," His quiet voice sent chills down my spine. "I've been in here for hours."

"Are we stuck in here?" I asked incredulously, pulling the knob with all my might. I started to bang on the door. Surely someone would hear me.

"I've tried that too. The music is too loud." He said, his voice dripping with negativity. After I was out of pounding strength I sank against the door.

"We're stuck." I said answering my own question. He turned around to face me full on, his eyes roaming up and down my body and suddenly I started to feel self conscious. I brought both of my arms over my chest.

"You look good." He commented, before turning away, and sitting down on the bathroom floor. My face flushed and I could see my face was red through the mirror reflection.

"I…thanks, Olette did it." I said softly. "You clean up nicely as well." I tried to joke. He looked down and shrugged his shoulders. I could tell he'd been here quite a long time because his shoes were off. His collared shirt was rolled up on the sleeves to his elbows and it was unbuttoned showing his white undershirt.

I stood there awkwardly staring around the bathroom anywhere but him. I noted that Hayner's parents really love that whole under the sea theme because the whole bathroom had painted oceans and fishes everywhere.

"You should sit; we might be in here for a while." He said. I stared at him before plopping myself down. I clamped my legs together tightly, and tucked them to the side. _Jeez stupid dress won't even let me sit comfortably. _

I cleared my throat and looked down, tracing circles over the cold tile of the bathroom. I could feel Roxas' eyes on me. What am I supposed to say? I need to get out of here! I can't be stuck here the whole night with… with him!

"I'm not mad at you, if that's what you're thinking," His voice suddenly brought me back from my thoughts. He was staring at me warily, his eyes as icy and hard as ever. I gulped and stared down at thighs that were showing because the dress kept shifting up.

"Oh," I mumbled awkwardly.

"I'm not_, really_."

"I believe you," I said reassuringly.

"Then why don't you sound like you do?" He questioned his voice much closer now. I didn't say anything, and hugged my shoulders tighter. "It's you isn't it?"

"Huh?"

"You're the one that's mad." He guessed wearing a skeptical expression. I opened my mouth to protest but the sight of his raised eyebrow made me stop. Ok now that I think about it, I was mad. My expression turned sour.

"You shouldn't say things you don't mean in public." I muttered into my knees. Roxas' eyes squinted in confusion before widening. His face immediately darkened in embarrassment.

"You think I didn't mean what I said?"

"I _know_ you don't mean it." I bit back.

Roxas' eyes narrowed furiously at me as if I just insulted him. "You don't know anything!" He snarled coldly. I flinched.

"I'm sorry!" He said quickly stopping any opportunity for me to retaliate. "I didn't mean that. I just…" His head bowed, and his hands went to his hair, ruffling it up angrily.

"Roxas-" I began softly.

"Kairi," He said suddenly. He got up from his seat, walked over to me and sat in front of me. "I love you."

I love you… I love you I love you…. Those three words kept ringing through my head.

Instantly my anger wavered ok well it completely disappeared and was replaced with deep nervous feeling in my gut. Butterflies.

His eyes burned into mine with such intensity it hurt to look at him. He inched closer to me. Before I could back away from him he pulled me into an iron grip hug. Winter fresh hit my nose before I could hold my breath and soon I was intoxicated by the scent.

"Roxas!" I mumbled angrily into his chest, prying him off. He pulled away and pressed his lips to my forehead. Immediately I stopped struggling and froze like a statue. His arms roamed around on the small of my back causing me to stiffen up even more if that were possible. His smooth lips brushed my skin causing it to ripple in heat waves.

"I adore you," He breathed into my hair, his arms moving higher up my back, making large circles. "_Kairi, you still don't realize how important you are to me do you?"_

"No, I don't," I admitted, feeling a strange sense of déjà vu. My heart beat crazily, and I knew I wasn't thinking straight. "W-will you show me?"

"Show you what?" He asked pulling away to look at me.

"Show me what you mean." I replied calmly. Slowly but surely Roxas understood what I meant, even if I had no idea what I meant. His lips pulled upward into a small sweet smile and my heart felt like it shattered.

"I'm really glad you're here," He said quietly. His blue eyes were darting between mine. "With _me_."

I felt my chest swell up. "Me too."

We stared at each other, sizing each other up, before Roxas' face fell.

"But you don't like me?" He asked thoughtfully as if to purposefully ruin the moment. I blinked out of my trance and brought myself to my senses briefly by shaking my head. What the hell was I about to do? _Get a hold of yourself Kairi! You're not a boy-crazed hormonal girl!_

I heard myself sigh in disappointment.

"I thought we already went through this…" I said softly. He disregarded my question and moved closer. I scooted back until I was pressed against the bathroom door.

"So you don't like me?" He questioned, stretching his arm out, his hand brushed my cheek before planting itself on the door above my head.

"Of course I do…" I stuttered. My face started to heat up at the closeness. Roxas was practically leaning over me. "As a _friend_." I tried to emphasis the friend, to see if he'd back off. But he was remained in the same spot.

I felt his other hand skim up my arm. His fingertips brushing my neck, before holding my chin between his thumb and index finger to bring my head up. His blue eyes darted between mine, they were smoldering.

"Are you sure about that?" He asked slowly, enunciating every word. My eyes followed the movement of his lips as I was suddenly transfixed upon them.

"I…I-"

I blinked away, shaking my head slightly.

_Stupid Kairi, focus!_

"Because… sometimes…" He moved closer, pressing his cheek against mine to whisper in my ear. "It really doesn't seem like it."

My face flushed and I knew without a doubt he could feel the heat from my face because I heard him chuckle.

"I-I um…I don't…" Obviously I was lacking the ability to from a coherent sentence because all I was doing was rambling. Roxas moved away to stare at me. His fiery expression made me nervous. My pulse quickened in anticipation. But what the hell was I anticipating? Something familiar…

"Enlighten me, Kairi." He purred and I involuntarily shivered. There was something about the way my name rolled out of his mouth that made me like it more than I should have.

He tilted my head upward until all I could see was the ceiling of the bathroom. _Huh sea shells?_ Ah, snap out of it! What the hell was he doing? Before I could protest or push him away, I felt something soft rest on the base of my neck. Roxas' winter fresh smell started to swirl around me, and soon I started to get dizzy.

The soft feeling moved higher up my neck, leaving a trail of newfound warmth every spot it touched. My chest swelled and my stomach started to get all tingly, like that annoying feeling you get when you're about to make a big drop on a roller coaster, except this feeling never went away. My breathing kicked up a notch and everything around me suddenly dissolved. The only thing I was aware of was how this sense of warmth felt really _really_ good.

I opened my eyes slightly and looked down to find wild blonde hair in my face. Once I put two and two together, my body literally turned into a statue_. Roxas was kissing… my neck… And I was letting him?_

Where was my dignity? What happened to the friendship boundary line I drew up?

His lips moved higher until they hit my jaw line and soon I was slipping back into the crazed stupor I was in.

_Oh screw dignity and friendship this felt good._

_No, no, no what about integrity? Stop this, this instant Kairi!_

"Roxas…I" I mumbled, feeling my confidence waver. I needed to make him stop but I couldn't, more like I wouldn't.

He stopped.

"You were going to say something Kai?" Roxas voice suddenly pulled me back to reality. I blinked to find him staring at me intently. I blushed, and looked away.

"Stop this." I muttered weakly. "Its...It's just making things worse."

"You don't like it?" He asked innocently.

"No- that's…that's not it." I said, feeling my face heat up an angry red. "I do like it- more than I should, which is only making things worse!"

He raised a dark eyebrow skeptically.

"How so?"

I felt myself sigh. "Roxas I like Sora." I said flatly.

"And you're saying you have absolutely no feelings for me?" He asked. I didn't know if he was being serious, or funny. Did I have no feelings for him? If I didn't then why did I even let him do that to me? Surely I would have stopped him from the very beginning

"I am… a little attracted to you." I admitted shyly. I noticed him blush a little, but he composed himself with a steady smirk which only flared my frustration. "But I still don't like you."

"That makes no sense." He countered with a smile, inching his way to close the gap between us, but I placed a finger on his lips.

"Stop it please." I begged quietly.

"You don't want this?"

"I-I… I don't know- yes but no… I ugh," I sighed impatiently feeling like a complete idiot.

"I'll change your mind." He said hastily, before planting his lips on mine. Almost as if on cue the original feelings from before erupted in my lower stomach.

_Kairi stop! Stop stop stop! NOW! Think of Sora!_

I pulled away suddenly.

"Please…stop," I muttered weakly.

"Just once more," He pleaded.

"Roxas I don't want to give you any false hopes…" I started, my voice faltering, my lips still burning from the recent contact.

"You won't," He promised, cupping my face with his right hand tenderly. I couldn't help but close my eyes. But I shook my head again and pulled away from his touch.

"Roxas you don't get it!" I hissed angrily. "If this keeps going on…" I started my face hot and probably beet red.

"I know, I know…"

"NO! You don't know!" I snapped. "Maybe I should just leave."

"You can't, we're locked in here," He said, a little smugly I might add. My temper flared again.

"Well maybe I'll just yell my way out." I barked, attempting to get up from my seat. But Roxas planted both of his hands on the wall on either side of me, trapping me within his arms. His head rested on my right shoulder.

"Please just stay here… with me."

"Roxas I-I can't…I…" I stopped, when his hands wrapped around me again. I felt his lips on my shoulder, then my neck again and suddenly I was losing my level head. _What was I talking about again?_

"Kairi," His hot breath beat against my neck sending shivers across my body. This was not right, he wasn't playing fair! "Kairi…"

I tilted my head back giving him better access, relishing the feeling. Ok this felt awesome!

"Ok…" I agreed. "Ok...But… this can't leave these bathroom walls because I can't want more from you than friendship." I rushed in a breathy sigh. Roxas didn't answer and at that moment I didn't really care. His lips trailed towards my jaw line until they reached my own lips. The familiar feeling filled my gut except this was ten times better. And I had no reason to stop. I was kissing Roxas and I didn't stop. I didn't even want to stop.

Apparently during our whole lip locked session the door to the bathroom unlocked from the other side. But neither of us noticed seeing as we were too preoccupied. Besides I didn't really care, there were other things that were important.

Roxas' lips for example.

**DUN DUN DUH! I hoped you guys like it b/c I really hated this chapter T_T -shot-**

**anyway idk when I'll upate...I have no idea what I'm going to write next...so until next time**

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	22. Chapter 21

**Hello, my dear reviewers, guess what time it is? Lol jk, well I updated...finally. Before I'm going to let you guys loose and read this chapter I'll just tell you it sucks and I hate it. It's just...ugh T_TAnyway, it's a little Angsty, and we learn more about Namine. Also Kairi realizes something very important at the end.  
**

**Ok, another thing I wanted to bring to my reviewers attention is that I got a very interesting message from one of you (won't say any names) that requested I write certain events that happened in this story from another character's POV, specifically Roxas' and Namine's. Now I'm very open minded and I'd be happy to do this. I'll probably make a collection of drabbles of the different characters that people request. So now the question is what scenes should I do?**

**If you have a particular event you want me to do, then simply message me which one and I'd be glad to do it! Thanks**

**I DON'T OWN KH BLAH BLAH BLAH DON'T SUE**

**ENJOY!**

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I let my fingers tangle into his wild hair. My back was pressed up against the bathroom door, and his body was pressed against mine. _How did I get here again? Oh that's right. We're stuck in here._

My mind fogged over when I felt his hands trace circles on my waist.

Roxas pulled away, my hands still in his hair. His lips lifted into a small grin. I squinted at his mouth and noticed pink lipstick smeared all over it.

I bit down on my bottom lip to prevent myself from bursting out laughing. His face fell slightly as he noticed my worked up expression.

"What is it?" He asked huskily. I removed one of my hands from his hair and clamped it over my mouth. Now he was frowning at me. "What?"

"You've got… you've got lipstick all over your mouth." I sniggered, as he tried to furiously wipe it off with the back of his hand. I let out a loud laugh as rubbed harder against his face desperately.

"Is it gone?" He asked. I continued to laugh. When he didn't get the response he was looking for his frown deepened. I reached and scrubbed out the remaining stains with my thumb.

"Now it is." I said softly. My laughter died down and soon we were staring at each other intensely like before. I brushed my fingertips along the side of his cheek. It was still warm from all the kissing. My gaze shifted towards his blue eyes which were on mine curiously. Patiently. Lovingly. My chest swelled with an uneasy feeling when his eyes burned into mine. It was almost too much to handle.

I turned to the side, looking away from his face. I felt Roxas stiffen next to me and move closer.

"What?" He breathed on my cheek. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing."

"Talk to me, please."

I closed my eyes, inhaling the Winter fresh scent deeply. I gulped, and glanced back at Roxas.

"I-I… I don't understand." I muttered frowning. He raised a dark blonde eyebrow in confusion. I shook my head and continued. "I don't understand how someone like you could… could possibly-" I paused shaking my head. "It just doesn't make sense. You're like this ideal guy, with the good looks and personality- once you get over your moody side and shyness- and I'm just… just some nobody who can't even return you're feelings. What's wrong with me?"

"There's nothing wrong with you!" Roxas said fiercely, holding my face in both of his hands and turning my head to look at him. "And you're not a nobody Kairi! Even if you were, you'd still be a somebody to me. So just- just stop saying those things about yourself because it's not true!"

His blue eyes bore into mine with a fiery passion similar to the one he had before he kissed me. He dropped his hands from my face and pulled me into a tight hug. I kept my hands firmly clenched on my lap, refusing the urge to wrap my arms around him as well.

"You deserve so much better." I heard myself whisper.

"I deserve you," He murmured against my shoulder. "I only want you."

I sighed. "You're an idiot sometimes, you know that?"

He chuckled and loosened his grip on me to look into my face.

"So I've heard…"

"I'm serious."

"And I'm seriously in love with you."

I felt my face flush at his bold remark. There wasn't a blush on his face and his gaze didn't waver at all. His eyebrows scrunched together at my silence. I looked down at my clenched hands and then back up at his face.

"I know." I whispered, smoothing out my hands on my lap, and letting them rest on Roxas' shoulders. I smiled softly at him before closing the tiny gap between us.

_I know you love me._

_And I wish you didn't. _

_It only makes things harder than it already is. _

_I wish things were a lot simpler than this. _

_I wish I didn't like Sora, not you. _

_I wish I could tell you I had feelings for you too. _

_I wish I could tell you, even if I didn't mean it. _

_At this moment I truly wished that. _

_I wish we could stay like this forever, even if we are stuck in a bathroom. _

_I wish I won't regret doing this with you later on. _

_I wish I would stop kissing you. _

_I wish I wouldn't. _

_I wish I hated kissing you. _

_I wish I stopped imagining what it would be like to kiss Sora and not you. _

_I wish I could kiss you without subconsciously thinking of Sora. _

_I wish I'd stop thinking of you when I'm with Sora. _

_I wish both of you would just get out of my head. _

_I wish I could forget about you and be with Sora. _

_I wish he liked me back. _

_I wish Namine was out of the picture. _

_I wish that you would just give up on me because I know you're hurting. _

_I wish that you wouldn't because whether I'll admit it or not, I need you. _

_I wish I didn't need you. _

_I wish I could give up on Sora, but I know I can't. _

_I wish you were Sora. I wish Sora was you. _

_I wish I could sort out my feelings. _

_I wish I could just forget about the both of you. _

_I wish you would stop loving me. _

_I wish you hated me because I can't return your feelings. _

_It would make things easier to bear. _

_I wish I liked you. I wish I could reciprocate your feelings. _

_I really wish I could. _

_I wish I loved you, Roxas._

Through my closed eyelids I could feel that familiar wet and hot moisture when tears start to build up. But I tried to ignore it. _I can't believe I'm here doing this. I really can't. _

My hands on his shoulders found their way back into his hair, tugging him closer. _I shouldn't be here. I should have stopped this a long time ago._

I could feel his hands roam away from my back down to my waist, and then lower towards the sides of my legs. _This is so wrong. This isn't supposed to happen. We need to stop._

I pulled away and let my lips trail along the curve of his jaw line. My arms around his neck tightened. _We need to stop this now. Because if we don't, I'm afraid I won't ever be able to refuse him again. And that can't happen._

The warmth from his body seeped through his shirt and my dress, and instantly I was filled with the same kind of warmth. I could feel his rapid heartbeat against my chest, running the in the same rhythm as my crazed one. _He loves me. He loves me so much and I? I… _

"Oh boy what do we have here?" A voice said from far away, breaking me from my thoughts. A voice that was familiar. I pulled away from Roxas and looked over my shoulder to find myself face to face with Axel. His head was popped through the door crack and he was wearing a large toothy grin. Before I could even open my mouth he pushed the door wide open and I toppled over on top of Roxas.

"Geez coz, I never took you as a lady pimp," Axel continued walking around us, wearing that absurdly large grin. "You know there's another word for that, one that's quite offensive."

I gritted my teeth, moved off of Roxas and sat up. Surprisingly, I didn't even feel the least bit embarrassed, actually I was quite pissed off.

"Do _you_ mind?" I snapped, flattening out my dress. Axel noticed this and narrowed his eyes mischievously.

"Well you did leave the door wide open little miss Kairi. A word of advice before you go having a romp in the hay, make sure everything is securely locked," He paused glancing over at Roxas who was still on the floor as if just noticing him. His green eyes widened. "Oh you were with cutey over here?"

Roxas blushed and looked over at me pleadingly. I stood between him and Axel defensively.

"Do you guys have room for me?" Axel asked slyly. I face palmed.

"Axel, go away!"

"Aww c'mon Kairi it was a joke!" He laughed, waving his hand dismissively. I stamped my foot, my face turning beet red.

"Axel!"

"Ok, ok I'm going," He snapped sourly, turning to leave. But before he was halfway out the door he stopped and looked over at Roxas again. He dug in his jean pocket, pulled something small out and tossed it to Roxas. "Here my man, don't want to go around making little cutey juniors now do we?"

He cackled before walking out the door. I snuck my foot in between the door and frame to stop it from closing.

"Roxas the door's open!" I exclaimed, trying to sound relieved. But if I was being honest with myself, I was slightly disappointed. I didn't know if I wanted to thank Axel or kill him for interrupting. When I didn't hear a response I looked over my shoulder to see Roxas still on the floor, his eyes glued to the little object Axel had given him.

"Roxas come on, why are you just sitting there-…" My voice faltered when I recognized what was in his hand. A small squared package, with a huge smiley face on it. I blushed deeply and glared down at the floor. "Roxas! Throw that away!"

He looked up at me, his eyes as wide as saucers. I huffed, removing my shoe to keep it as a door stopper and snatched the package away from him. I flushed it down the toilet.

"Now let's go." I said finally, wiping my hand on the towel hanging on the rack. Bleh I can't believe I touched that. I looked back to Roxas who was still sitting on floor, gazing at me with an expectant expression.

"I-I don't want to go."

"Roxas don't be stupid; we'll be stuck in here again for god knows how long." I muttered, grabbing his hand and trying to lift him up. But he stubbornly stayed put.

"But…if we go- all of this will seem like it never happened." He mumbled. I let go of his hand and leaned against the wall, glaring at him.

"You knew this would happen, I told you! Don't do this now Roxas." I snapped. Roxas jumped up from his seat and strode over to me, clutching both of my shoulders. I continued to glower at him.

"Kairi!"

"I'm leaving. You can either come with me, or stay here until someone else opens the door. Do you want that?"

"I want to stay here," He said firmly. I made a move to walk towards the door but he stopped me. "I want you to stay here with me."

"Roxas don't do this to me again!" I cried. "You know I can't do that. Sora's probably…" I trailed off when I saw him grimace. Instantly I knew mentioning Sora was a bad idea. "It's probably getting late." I finished off stupidly.

His hands moved from my shoulders, trailing my arms, all the way to my waist holding me in place.

"You want this to end don't you?" He demanded. Hurt and betrayal flashed through his blue eyes and I felt my chest constrict painfully.

"_Of course I don't!_" I burst out suddenly, without thinking. I blinked, staring wide eyed at him. What the hell did I just say? Roxas blinked innocently back at me. "I mean…I can't…I just…" I felt myself heat up in embarrassment. I shook my head angrily. "I have to go. Bye Roxas" I stammered, feeling my face grow red. I removed his hands from my waist, and bolted out the door, leaving Roxas staring after me.

x.X.x

On the way down the hall way I didn't hear Roxas' footsteps chasing after me, in fact the only thing I heard was the bathroom door shut again. I didn't bother checking if Roxas was still in there, I wanted to get as far away from his as possible.

What the hell was that! Seriously what the hell was I thinking!

Stupid stupid stupid Kairi! Way to enforce the friendship boundary line. I let out a cold bitter laugh. I think the boundary line was thrown in the trash after all that happened in that bathroom.

I climbed down the stairs, stomping on each one. What have I done, seriously? I kissed Roxas. Me, Kairi…kissed Roxas. And I liked it. UGH!

I raked my hands through my auburn hair trying to relieve the frustratingly large headache I had, caused by my confusing actions with Roxas. I tried to focus on something else but the stupid blonde kept popping up.

Stupid, why did I let this go on for so long? What am I thinking? I slapped my forehead, trying to rationalize the situation. Well what would any girl do if some random hot guy wanted to make out with you! But Roxas isn't a random hot guy. We have history. We're friends. That's all we ever were. Oh god. I just made out with my friend.

I continued to bang my head harder each time.

"Kairi! Where've you been?" Someone's voice broke my concentration. I snapped my head up searching for the source to find Sora right in front of me. "Whoa you don't look to good. Are you feeling sick?"

"Sora." I blinked before nodding my head. "Yeah, I feel kind of sick. Sorry, I was stuck in the bathroom. It got locked from the outside."

"Yeah it does that, I should have warned people before they walked in to it." Hayner's voice popped up from behind me. I turned around and gave him a dirty look. Stupid Hayner.

I closed my eyes and rubbed my head. It was pounding. Maybe from all the self inflicting injuries to the head. Plus this music wasn't doing any good to it. Wait, where's the music?

I looked around me, just noticing my surroundings. The house was empty of people. Except for Hayner, Sora, Olette The place looked disgusting, paper plates and cups and beer bottles thrown everywhere. and Pence. The disco lights were gone, replaced with a mellow orange lamp.

"Where is everyone?" I muttered.

"Gone," Sora supplied.

"Yeah, things kind of got out of hand when the fire department came because someone set the T.V on fire…" Olette said sheepishly looking down at the floor. I glowered at her.

"Yeah, I wonder what kind of idiot would do that…" I said suggestively. Axel was going to get hell later on. "Where is that idiot at anyway?"

"I saw him run upstairs…" Olette whispered faintly. "But I don't think he's up there anymore." Aw, great how am I going to explain this to my mom? As if thinking of the same thing, Hayner screamed.

"Oh god what am I going to tell my parents?" Hayner cried out, putting his face in his hands. "That T.V was a gift from my uncle." Olette looked at Hayner sadly.

"Don't worry, we can fix this!" Olette said cheerfully. Hayner shook his head.

"Where are we going to get another T.V at?" He demanded, slumping down on the couch, defeated. Olette sat down next to him and put her hand on his, squeezing it reassuringly.

"We'll figure something out." She said. I looked away. Somehow I felt like I was intruding. Sora tapped my shoulder and I looked up at him.

"I think we should go."

I nodded.

x.X.x

"Well, I'll admit this party was… different." Sora said finally after pulling up on my driveway. I chuckled halfheartedly.

"It was." I agreed dryly.

"You were gone for most of it though…" He said quietly. He turned off the car and we were both sitting in silence, watching my front door. "Did you by any chance talk things out with Roxas?"

I stayed quiet for a moment, before reply. "Yes. Sort of."

"Ah, an ongoing conflict hmm?" he guessed.

I felt my lips tug up into a small smile. "Yeah something like that."

Sora drummed his fingers on the steering wheel before turning back to look at me.

"Come on, I'll walk you to the door."

And so he did. He looped my arm around his and pulled me toward the front door. When we reached the porch step he stopped.

"Well today wasn't exactly how I expected it to be. I wish I could have spent more time with you." He admitted. Honestly, my feelings weren't mutual. My throat clogged and I looked away guiltily.

"Yeah, me too." I lied straight through my teeth. He beamed at me, showing off his sparkly teeth.

"I'll see you later Kairi." He said, pulling me into a hug. I tried to compare the way his arms felt around me to Roxas. It felt the same, and yet it felt completely different. With Sora it was safe; I felt like I knew what was going to happen with him. And with Roxas it left me uneasy and slightly afraid, in a good way, as if I were expecting something unexpected.

I pulled away nervously.

"Ok, bye Sora." I mumbled. Before I could turn towards the door, he leaned down and pressed his lips to my cheek. When he moved back he winked at me.

"Sweet dreams Kairi."

"Uh right." I stammered turning and running straight into my front door. "Ah, ow…"

I heard Sora chuckle lightly behind me. "You have to open it first."

"Yeah thanks." I muttered, before yanking it open and closing it quickly behind me. _Jeez, stupid idiot! Who runs into doors?_

My mom was in the living room watching T.V when I walked in. She looked over at me lazily.

"You're home early." She said. I glanced at the clock on the entertainment center. Midnight. This was early!

"Jeez Mom do you really want me to party all night long?" I asked incredulously, before stomping upstairs to my room. I needed time to think things over. But I didn't want time. I wanted anything but to think of what happened at the party.

I was already looking forward to throwing myself on my bed and snuggling on my favorite pillow. But when I opened the door something unexpected was waiting for me.

I almost jumped up in shock at the small blonde figure sitting at the edge of my bed. Her arms were crossed over her lap and when she looked up at me, she didn't even look mildly surprised.

"N-Namine?" I stuttered. Namine smiled halfheartedly at my acknowledgment.

"Took you long enough, I've been waiting here for hours." She said. My attention shifted from her to the window that was open behind her. So she climbed in. I would have laughed at how stupid that was but I held it in. I studied her. She was still wearing the white sundress from the party.

"Why are you here?" I asked cautiously, as I brought my guard back up. I didn't quite forget that lovely conversation we had at the party. She sighed and sat up from her seat. Her pale blue eyes bore into mine and her lips were pulled down into a slight frown.

"I came to apologize. I shouldn't have said the things I did." She said softly. I continued to stare at her curiously. She played with the edges of her dress awkwardly, nervously waiting for my response. I cleared my throat and looked away from her.

"I don't understand why you did in the first place." I admitted. Her frown deepened significantly.

"I'm sorry. I was upset and took it out on you." She looked away. Her eyebrows pulled together in distress, and I caught something flicker in her blue eyes. Something bad. Instantly my protective Kairi instincts kicked in, regardless if I was angry with her.

"What's wrong?" I demanded, taking a step closer to her. Namine's head shot up and she blinked out of her previous expression.

"It's no big deal." She reassured me, unconvincingly. She slumped back down on my bed. I raised my eyebrow skeptically. I followed her and took a seat too.

"What is it? Tell me!" I pressed. She hesitated, fidgeting with her dress before looking at me miserably.

Namine sighed. "Can I be honest with you?" She asked and I nodded my head. She looked back down at her lap; her fingers were playing with each other. "When I saw you come with Sora to the party and even now when he dropped you off… I got a little frustrated."

I felt my throat go dry.

"Because… because you still like him?" I muttered as calmly as I could manage. Namine's head snapped up to face mine. Her eyebrows were pulled together in confusion.

"What?" She said with a frown, before her face cleared up in realization. Her lips pulled upward into a sheepish grin. "Oh…about that….Um. well you see I tried to lie about that to make you do something."

"Huh?"

"I thought that if I told you I liked him, it'd make you hurry up and make a move…Sorry about that." Namine apologized

"So you- you don't like him?" I asked cautiously. She grinned back at me guiltily.

"Never did."

Suddenly I felt my chest lighten up. Even the confusing feeling of Roxas didn't bring me down. I couldn't help but beam.

"Ah, see I knew you liked him." Namine said wisely, grinning like the Cheshire cat. I felt my face flush angrily.

"That was a dirty trick you played Namine!" I snapped, glaring at her. Her smile fell slightly and she turned away from me again.

"Continue please," I begged, placing my hand on hers.

She stayed silent for a couple of seconds and for a moment I thought she wasn't going to talk. But she proved me wrong.

"I wish… I wish Riku and I could be more like you two." She finally said with a loud breath. Her shoulders hunched over and she put both of her hands in her face. I scooted closer to her and placed an arm over her shoulder.

"What did he do to you?" I asked sourly, feeling my blood boil just thinking of that jerk.

"Nothing, Kairi, he hasn't done anything… it's just…" She struggled; her voice was muffled because of her hands. I removed them so I could hear her better and look at her face. "It's just Riku's been wanting a little more than I can give him."

"That bastard," I cursed angrily. I felt Namine fidget underneath me.

"No, no he's not! Everyone isn't perfect Kairi... and I understand where Riku's coming from, I really do." She stammered. "I like him a lot and I don't want this to be a problem in our relationship… but I'm just not ready."

"The hell you're not, Namine!" I yelled, causing her to shiver. "What did he do to you? He must have done something to make you upset!"

"He just… implied having…um doing," She struggled briefly before skipping it entirely." And it kind of made me upset and then he got mad and started yelling at me. I got mad and I ran into the kitchen away from him…" She stopped and her gaze returned to me. "And that's when I saw you two and I just felt like crap."

I stared at her worriedly. Her face was ghostly pale and she looked scared out of her wits. Apparently something else happened too, but I knew I wouldn't be able to get it out of her that easily. I wrapped both of my arms around her into a hug. Suddenly it felt like I was hugging her four year old self, from pre-school after getting bullied by Riku. My anger flared up again.

"Namine, why do you deal with this guy? Haven't you learned already that he's no good?" I asked incredulously. "He practically bullied you your whole life."

"It was only elementary…" She pointed out. "Besides he's…he's different. He makes me feel different."

"Yeah that's a great reason," I mumbled sarcastically.

"Just give him a chance Kairi…" She said quietly. I felt a shiver run down my spine.

"Ok Namine…ok." I said softly in defeat. I knew there was no way I was convincing her otherwise. "Apology accepted."

Namine ended up spending the night and for that I was thankful. It brought us together again and sorted out the tension between us. I had my Namine back.

Also, it gave me more time to avoid the obvious question. Roxas or Sora?

I knew that I'd have to choose one eventually. But right now I didn't even want to think about it. As I laid on my bed, with Namine fast asleep next to me, my mind drifted from both boys, and I came to a sudden realization. I did like Roxas. But I liked Sora too. And my feelings for one of them weren't enough.

_My feelings for him just aren't enough._

**DUN DUN DUHHHH! REVIEW REVEIW REVIEW!**

**THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING I LOVE YOU GUYS! UNTIL NEXT TIME! I MIGHT UPDATE SOON...MAYBE IN A FEW DAYS. IT DEPENDS. BUT EXPECT A QUICK UPDATE!  
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	23. Chapter 22

**Ok, reviewers, before I say anything the first thing I want to say is I'm so so so sorry! I feel so bad :(**

**I lied to you guys again! I feel really really bad ugh! I hate my inconsistency...Ok now that I've gotten that out of the way we can get back to the story. Well this chapter...well I actually like this chapter, I'm pretty content with it. You know? I feel really satisfied. Idk about you guys. Um, what can I say? It came out longer than I expected, but I was on a roll! I'm serious! **

**I'll admit that the beginning of this chapter is a bit angsty. But then it gets pretty "chill" then angsty all over again:D (yay for teenage angst)  
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**We learn way more about Namine and her rather confusing relationship with Riku. Also Kairi comes to a realization...again.**

**I DON'T OWN KH BLAH BLAH BLAH SO DON'T SUE!**

**ENJOY! ;D  
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I woke up to the feeling of the constant sound of vibrating buzzes, like a cell phone going off. For a moment I thought it was mine, but then I remembered I didn't have one…anymore. I glanced down at Namine's bag on the floor, which toppled over because of the vibrating. Who could possibly be calling at this time?

I slipped out from the bed and dug my hand in her bag until I found the blasted contraption. 15 missed calls and 6 text messages! I scrolled down to find that all the missed calls were from Riku.

"Hey Namine," I whispered. "Your phone is going off." She hugged her pillow tighter and buried her head in it.

"Just ignore it," Her sleepy muffled voice replied. Namine never ignores her phone calls, regardless if it was her stupid boyfriend or not.

"Namine, Riku's been trying to call you for the past hours." I said quietly. Even through the blankets I could see her body stiffen like a board. She stayed quiet for a few moments, I think trying to pretend to fall back asleep. But I knew she wasn't sleeping because her body didn't relax.

She lifted her head slightly and looked at me. "Come back to bed." She said simply. I stared at her confusedly. My hand still clutching her phone. She was staring at me with a strange twisted expression, one that looked oh too familiar for me to drop.

"Why is he calling you so late?" I probed suspiciously.

"Probably to try and apologize," She admitted sourly, before getting up slowly. I noticed her exhale a slight gasp when she sat up. "It's not big deal. It wasn't even that big of a fight."

"If it wasn't, then why would he try to call you so much?" I asked.

"I don't know! I don't know what goes on in his head." She said wearily.

The phone in my hand felt incredibly cold and heavy. I looked down at it and then back at Namine. I could tell the slight drowsiness faded from her.

Why am I still talking to her when all the answers to my questions were in my hand? I think she understood what I was about to do, because she glanced at me wide eyed.

"No, Kairi! Just leave it alone!" She hissed. I heard the bed springs sigh in relief as Namine jumped up from it to grab her phone from my hands. I turned around right before her hands came anywhere near the phone. I should have known that Namine wouldn't have given up that easily.

It probably would have been an easy win if she hadn't caught me off guard by tackling me against the wall.

"Give me the phone!" She huffed, trying to snatch it away from my grasp.

"Why are you being so defensive?" I argued back, dodging as she attempted to knock me off my feet.

"You're invading my privacy!" Namine snapped.

"Really now? If I'm not mistaken you broke into my room through the window! What exactly would you call that?"

"This is different!" She cried.

"No it's not!"

I pulled away from her and attempted to look at her phone. I opened the most recent text message and read aloud:

"'_Namine I'm really sorry. Didn't mean to hurt you' _What's that supposed to-" All of a sudden I felt something on my foot (probably hers) and her shoulder colliding against mine. At the last second I realized she tripped me. I started to loose my balance and the phone flew from my hand, landing on the floor with a soft thud.

Our small scuffle made us freeze. We both stared at each other, our breathing slightly uneven, and then we stared at the phone lying between us. Her blue eyes kept darting between me and the phone. It was like a cold war between us; none of us would make the first move.

Then after what felt like forever, Namine made grab for it, but quick as a flash (I was pretty surprised with my speed) I clutched her wrist pulling her away from the phone.

I heard her cry out loud. Oh crap, I don't think I squeezed her that hard. My eyes glanced at Namine who backed off quite a distance. She was wincing and that's when I really started to worry if I hurt her at all. My eyes feel lower where her left hand was clutching her wrist gingerly, rubbing back and forth. I didn't know if it was because of the bedroom lamp but the color around her arms were slightly off.

My grip on the phone loosened significantly as I suddenly took an interest on both of her wrists. It looked like someone painted bluish purple fingerprints over them

"What's wrong with your…" I trailed off, looking back to the phone and her.

'_Namine I'm really sorry. Didn't mean to hurt you'_

The words were branded into my head. I started to put two and two together. My throat tightened and I narrowed my eyes. "Did he?"

Namine's face paled and she looked away. She didn't even have to say anything and I instantly blew up.

"I cannot believe you!" I spat half angry and half hurt, actually I was angrier. "I cannot believe you would just lie to me by trying to convince me of what a great guy this prick is!"

"Just drop it Kairi." She uttered faintly. Her head was bowed and she wouldn't look at me. I felt my anger start to bubble up.

"No I won't _drop it_! You expect me to just sit back and watch you come back all beaten up Namine?" I snarled icily. Her head snapped up and she was glaring at me; the same kind of glare she was giving me at the party, when our little "confrontation" happened.

"You don't know what you're talking about." She said coldly.

"I know enough! I know that jerk did _that_ to you!" I said gesturing towards the bruises on her arm. It was her turn to snap.

"You don't know anything! Stop trying to weasel your way into my business! It's my life!" She cried. "It's my damn life!"

"You think I'm weaseling!" I asked incredulously, causing her to flinch. "We're best friends! What happened to telling each other everything! You're life is my life and mine is yours! It's like the paopu fruit! Our destinies are supposed to be intertwined. We're there for each other."

"Oh really? Then what about Sora huh? What happened to telling each other everything? You couldn't trust me with your secret?"

"That's- that's different," I started.

She rolled her eyes. "It's hardly different Kairi."

"You're changing the subject. We're talking about you- and how he hurt-"

"It hurts more than this!" She yelled throwing her bruised arm in front of my face. "It hurts more to know that your best friend- my best friend- can't even trust me to tell me anything!"

"N-Namine! This has nothing to do-"

"And if we're supposed to 'there for each other', where were you! Where were you when I needed you! Huh? Where were you when Riku… when… when he…" She choked off and shook her head. I could see small tears starting to build up.

Her face cooled down to the normal pale color, and she sighed out loud. She wrapped her arms around her chest and her expression was twisted in pain.

"What did he do to you Namine?" I said coldly, trying to sound steady but I could feel my voice giving out. Her eyebrows furrowed, and her lips fell into a deep frown.

"I already told you what he did." She snapped, but it didn't sound harsh… or truthful. The uncertainty was obvious in her body language.

"What else? I know he did something else." I pressed. I reached out and grabbed her hand, making her arm outstretch. There were bruises running up along her inner arm. My chest was flaring with fury and I swear the next time I saw Riku I was going to kill him. How could I have completely over looked the bruises on her arms earlier? How could I have not expected this? How could she not have expected this?

Her eyes scrunched up when she saw her own bruises and she yanked her arm back.

"He didn't mean it." She said quietly.

"Don't give me that sympathetic crap Namine!" I snarled. "He hurt you!" My eyes trailed along her arms and legs to see if there wear any other injuries. I lifted up her shirt to inspect further. She pushed my hands away and pulled her shirt down.

"It was an accident!" She protested defensively. I could hear her voice choking up and immediately I knew the result to that. "He would never hurt me on purpose."

"Really Namine? Really? Didn't look like it back in first grade!" I spat. "or now!"

"You don't understand!" Namine fought back. Her voice was quivering. "You weren't there!"

I glowered at her, disregarding her protests.

"Where else?"

"What?"

"Where else did he hurt you?" I demanded. We both glared at each other, sizing the other up. My eyes kept flashing over her body, searching for any other similar marks.

She averted her eyes from mine and slumped down on my bed.

"No where else." She replied softly, wrapping her arms around herself again. I was clutching the phone so tightly in my hand that it was starting to hurt.

Namine finally lifted her head to look up at me. "I don't want to talk about this and I don't want to fight with you anymore."

I watched her as she crept back into bed and curled herself into a little ball. I couldn't help but think of Namine as little girl. How she would cry herself to sleep, how she would try to hide whenever she got bullied. And that was when I realized it. Namine had never really changed. She was still the same little girl. All those years I thought it was her that was becoming someone different. But in all honesty, it was me that was changing.

I slipped into bed too, wrapping my arms around her. I felt her flinch next to me, but she relaxed and turned her body around to face me.

"I'm sorry." I said sincerely. I felt her arms wrap around me limply. "I haven't been a great friend have I?"

"No! That's that's not true! I was out of line there…"

"And I'm sorry for yelling…I'm just… I just get worried for you."

"It's ok…" She breathed. "Someone has to right?" She tried to lighten up the mood but I firmly stayed serious. Heck this situation was serious. I don't understand how she could even consider staying with a jerk like Riku. After this? NO way. And who's to say this is the first time, maybe it's the first time I found out.

"You're going to break up with him right?" I asked gently. I could see a ton of conflicting emotions flash in her expression. The transitions were so fast I couldn't decide which was which. She shook her head.

"I don't know."

I had a sudden urge to call her an idiot, because, well it was true. I opened my mouth but then closed it, deciding that saying that wouldn't be the best thing to say.

"I know, I'm an idiot," she spoke my thoughts out. "I just don't know what to do. I don't want to leave him; I really _really_ like him Kairi. I-I've never felt this way before about someone-" Her gaze shifted away from mine uneasily, guiltily as if she were lying. "It's all new to me… but I don't want to… be _afraid _anymore_._"

I stayed quiet for a moment as she stared at me expectantly. Hopefully. "I don't want you to stay with him, Namine."

"I know." She whispered. "I just… I don't know what to do at all. Every move and decision I make, just keeps making everyone upset with me. First with Riku, then you, then Sora, who knows who'll be next right?"

"Wait what? Sora?" I said suddenly. Namine's face flushed and she looked away guiltily.

"Um, I mean- that is…" She stuttered, fidgeting.

"What do you mean Sora? Why is he upset with you?"

Namine blinked, her cheeks were still slightly red. "Well um… it's just that- well c'mon I rejected him! Who wouldn't be upset over that?" She stammered unconvincingly. Well I guess what she was saying was partly true but I knew there was something else she wasn't telling me. Great, the many mysteries of Namine.

"Tell me about it."

"I'm afraid you'll get mad at me…again."

I stared at her incredulously for a moment.

"It's that bad?"

Namine's face softened as she nodded her head.

"Fine, don't tell me then." I decided. I heard her sigh in relief.

With that, the conversation officially ended. I glared at the ceiling still feeling a wave of hatred for Riku. Seriously when did he start liking her anyway? I racked my brain and started to think of signs any kinds of hints that would have possibly shown his real feelings, but I couldn't think of any. Then I remembered something that Sora said.

"_Riku and Namine… He knew I liked her. And yet he never said anything to me."_

It was even a surprise for Sora, his supposed best friend. I sighed. My head was starting to hurt from the lack of sleep. Maybe I should just stop thinking about this. Namine was right. It is her life. What kind of friend am I? I haven't been there for her lately because I've been thinking about myself too much. With Roxas and Sora. Oh gosh, just thinking about them is giving me an altogether bigger headache.

I saw the early morning light creep into my room from the open window. Great what time is it? I didn't even really sleep at all. God, My eyelids were starting to get heavy and I knew that soon I was about to given into to the peaceful sleep I was deprived from. _I 'm so glad it's the weekend._

And as if reading my thoughts from a few moments ago, Namine spoke.

"You really should choose one Kairi." She whispered, burying her face in my shoulder. The once blissful silence was broken.

"Huh?"

"Roxas. Or Sora." I was definitely not going to get sleep now.

I felt my chest suddenly weigh a ton. Great, she just had to bring them up, didn't she?

"Oh."

"Or have you already picked?"

"I dunno."

She paused. I wasn't sure if she fell asleep or not.

"Just…don't hurt _him_, ok Kairi?"

"Who are you talking about?"

No reply.

x.X.x

The next morning…well technically a few hours later I got out of bed, after my mom burst through my room wearing a grin similar to that of the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland.

"Kairi! You have a visitor! It's a boy," She said in a sing-song sort of way. I straightened up nervously. A boy? Who? Roxas? I felt my stomach flip uneasily. Roxas is here. My mom's attention shifted to the blond figure rousing from the bed.

"Oh hey Namine! Didn't see you come in last night." My mom said dismissively before walking out the door. I looked over at Namine who yawned loudly and flashed me a lazy smile. My eyes drifted southward to her arms that were propping her up in sitting position. The bruises looked even worse than last night.

I grimaced. She noticed my change of expression and followed my line of sight, before covering her arms with the blanket.

"I'm going to talk to him today." She stated, looking away from me. I nodded my head slightly before rushing into the bathroom to freshen up. Roxas was here. Why was he here? What did he want? _More…_ I felt my face flush in embarrassment.

x.X.x

By the time I got downstairs, Namine following me still in her PJ's (well mine), I have to admit my heart sunk when I saw the back of a spiky brunette head rather than a blonde one.

Namine squeaked and ducked behind me as if realizing who it was.

"Sora?" I asked. Immediately his head spun around and he flashed me one of his signature grins. He looked quite comfortable in the lazy boy chair. I couldn't help but smile back.

"Kairiii! Finally you're awake! Jeez I could have sworn I brought you back pretty early…" He trailed off noticing the blonde hiding behind me. His smile instantly faded away, and I swear I could see his shoulders sag a bit. "I see you've forgiven _her_ already hmm, Kairi?"

I blinked at him confusedly. "What?"

Awkward silence, in which Sora's glowers daggers at Namine.

"I'm going to go now…Kairi." Namine said nervously from behind me. My lips tugged downward into a frown.

"But Namine-" I began. She smiled at me briefly.

"It's ok, I think I'm going to take the day off and give my sketchbook the attention it deserves." She said, tucking her arms under each other to hide the inner part. I didn't have a chance to speak again before she rushed out the door….with my PJ's on.

I caught Sora glare at her all the way until she disappeared behind the door.

"What's with you?" I snapped, feeling irritated all of a sudden. Sora blinked at me wide eyed. He shook his head before jumping up from his seat and tugging my hand. I couldn't question his actions before we were out the door, strolling down the sidewalk.

"We're going to get jobs." He said firmly, not letting go of my hand.

"Huh? What?" I gaped at him. "Wait you didn't answer my question!" Sora's hand on mine tightened and he tugged me forward a little too roughly this time.

"Don't ask me that Kairi." He said in a strained voice. "I really don't want to talk about it."

I snapped my hand away from his and stopped abruptly. He turned around to stare at me puzzled. "Well I do!" I bit, glaring at him. "Namine's my friend! And I heard- I heard that you're upset with her!"

Sora scrunched his eyebrows together, before sighing. "We argued. That's it."

"What did you say to her?" I demanded.

"What does it matter?" He snapped.

"It matters to me!"

Sora looked at me pleadingly for a minute before sighing again.

"I told her… I told she was a lousy friend and that you deserved better… "He said in a hushed voice, refusing to meet my eyes.

"What else?" I pressed feeling my protective side flare. Sora's jaws clenched and unclenched. He rocked backward and forward on his heels anxiously.

"I-I uh, I told her I didn't know why I even liked her." His brown eyebrows furrowed even more. "And that… her and Riku deserve each other." He finished off awkwardly.

"Why would you say those kinds of things to her?" I snarled angrily. I was mad, ok hell I was furious. No wonder Namine was so down in the dumps yesterday. She must have felt like she was hated by everyone.

"Kairi, I'm not proud of what I said to her. Look, I was just really mad." Sora muttered, stuffing his hands in his jean pockets. I bit my lip in attempt to hold myself back from yelling. Sora noticed this and tried to defend himself. "Kairi you don't understand! You should have heard the kinds of things she was telling me-"

"That doesn't justify anything." I snapped. Sora bowed his head in shame.

"I know. I really feel bad about it. I really do," I could hear the sincerity burning through his voice. If I weren't so angry in general, with Riku and with Namine's stupidity, I probably would have forgiven him earlier.

I looked away from his pleading blue eyes. I didn't know what to say.

"You're mad at me." He said miserably.

"Of course I am!" I said incredulously. "I still can't believe you would say those kinds of things to her!"

"I was doing it for you." He admitted sadly. Out of nowhere I noticed how it was kind of cute how the spikes of his hair would droop slightly. "When I saw you upset at the party, I didn't know what came over me. I hate to see you upset Kairi."

As irrational as it seemed in my mind, I couldn't stay angry at Sora for long. I could feel my anger subsiding to be replaced by embarrassment. How could I have let him see me so worked up?

"You also should apologize to Namine. She's been through a lot" He nodded his head sincerely at this comment.

"And…I hate to see you upset too," I mumbled, feeling my cheeks blush slightly. "But you can't just go around yelling at everyone who makes _me_ upset. You have to let _me_ fight _my _own battles too."

Sora peeked up from his brown bangs at me, a hopeful expression plastered across his tanned face. "Am I forgiven?"

I pursed my lips, pretending to think it over before nodding my head. Immediately his lips pulled into a wide grin showing off his white teeth. I didn't have time to react when all of a sudden he pulled me into his arms.

"Sweet! I would die if you were mad all day!" He confessed childishly. My face prickled heatedly as I smiled against his shoulder. I shyly wrapped my arms around his waist. (I started to get bolder and bolder every time.).

"There there, I would never do that to you." I teased. He chuckled; I could feel his hot breath on the top of my head. Usually this would be about the time where Sora would pull away and start to crack another joke but he didn't. His arms stayed firmly around me, if anything they tightened.

"Sora?" I questioned, after it really started to get awkward, not that I was complaining. It's just I was dreading when we finally broke apart because I was a hundred percent sure that my face matched my hair color.

"Just a little while longer." He pleaded.

"…ok? I don't understand what-" I started but he cut me off.

"_Kairi, you still don't realize how important you are to me do you?"_ I felt him whisper in my ear.

Roxas.

I literally froze. My heart stopped, my mind stopped, I even stopped breathing.

"W-what did you say?" I stammered weakly. My knees started to feel wobbly and I was pretty sure if Sora wasn't holding me I would have collapsed in shock.

"I said you still don't realize how important you are to me." Sora said again. I think he felt my stiffened body because he immediately questioned it. "What's wrong?" He pulled away, staring at me with his blue eyes. Blue eyes so similar…

I blinked. And suddenly I was looking at Roxas. Or at least I was imagining it. I blinked again and I was staring at Sora, who was staring back at me worriedly.

"Kairi?" He pressed, letting go of me altogether. I stumbled out of his arms, and clutched the spot over my heart. It was pounding like crazy again. I shook my head furiously. Get it together Kairi!

"It's nothing." I mumbled.

I could feel Sora's eyes on me, gazing at me intently. But I didn't meet them. All of sudden he cleared his throat awkwardly. I chanced a glance at him. He was blushing and scratching the back of his head. I squinted closer on his face to realize that he was indeed blushing and it wasn't just a figment of my imagination. But why? Couldn't have been me? Could it?

"So uh…" I said nervously. "Where are we going? You kind of kidnapped me."

He blinked away his embarrassment and soon he was smiling again.

"That's right! You are my hostage after all!" He laughed and started to walk. I trailed off behind him. "We're going down into town."

"For what?" I asked puzzled.

"Jobs, silly!" He said, swinging an arm over my shoulder. Well I'm glad someone isn't feeling nervous anymore, I thought sarcastically. But out of the corner of my eyes I could have sworn I saw a faint hint of red on his tanned cheeks. I pretended to ignore it, for both of our sakes.

"What do we need to jobs for?" I demanded.

"To buy a new T.V!" He said cheerily.

"…for what?"

"Hayner! We need to help him out before his parents come back and see the other broken one!"

"How long do we have?" I asked.

"Oh…just today."

"And you think that we can possibly raise enough munny before they get here?"

"It's not just the two of us, it's me, you, Hayner, Olette, Pence, uh, oh Tidus, Wakka, Selphie…oh and Roxas!"

I caught Sora sneak me a furtive glance when he said the last name. I disregarded his stare.

"You think we can actually do this?" I asked incredulously. Sora shrugged his shoulders.

"Why not?"

x.X.x

So as planned, all of the mentioned people showed up in the middle of town. Even Roxas, much to Sora's distaste which was really odd, now that I think about it. I caught him pout when Roxas flashed me a smile and I timidly returned it. But I overlooked it. I promised myself I would dedicate myself to my "job of the day" for Hayner. Even if Hayner isn't really my friend… and has only kind of been a jerk to me… why am I even doing this?

Anyway the plan was that we were all going to be stationed at specific places where they needed workers for the day. And my stationed spot was a shoe store, which surprisingly was fine by me. I liked shoes and I really enjoyed the smell of new shoes. That rubbery smell always used to fill me up with happiness when I was a kid. **[A/N: XD I really like the smell of new shoes hahaha, I'm not a weirdo!]**

So when we finally split up, I was kind of excited. It was my first job and I was guaranteed that my mind would drift away from Sora's weird behavior, or Namine, or even my confused feelings for Roxas. When I got to the shoe store, the store owner, small friendly man with a receding hairline, told me that it was closed but he could still use my help polishing shoes. Really? Polishing shoes? I was really hoping I'd be able to stock so I could have been able to have quick whiffs of the shoes.

"The shoes are in the back room, miss." The owner said leading me to said back room. He pointed to a small stool, an opened shoe polish and a humongous pile of black dress shoes for men, that unfortunately looked… used. Just to make sure, when the owner's back was turned, I sniffed one of the shoes quickly. My nose crinkled and I gagged. Ok, they were definitely used.

The owner left me to the polishing. I quickly found out how dull this job was and how NOT distracting work it was. I was able to think of a lot of things I did not want to think about. So naturally my mind headed towards the Roxas/Sora direction.

I rubbed the top of the shoe until I could see a very dark reflection of me.

"What are you going to do Kairi?" I asked my reflection. "Roxas loves you, you idiot!" I snapped, stuffing the polished shoe in a box with it's polished pair. I snatched another pair of shoes and started working on them.

"And what are you doing? Using him! That's what you're doing!" I fumed, rubbing harsher. "Why can't you just …just LOVE him? You're so pathetic! I hate you! I mean…err I hate myself." I hit my forehead with the shoe. "Ow!"

I dumped the shoes in its box and sighed.

"And Sora? You love him. Love? Do I really love him?" I asked the dull shoe. I dabbed the cloth in the shoe polish and applied it to the shoe. I felt myself blush as I thought of the possibility of loving him. "I guess it's possible. Anything's possible. Ugh if anything's possible then why can't I love Roxas?"

I grabbed another pair of shoes and started to repeat the process, looking at my reflection again once the polishing was done. I saw a miserable looking red head. How depressing. I furrowed my eyebrows and gritted my teeth. "Love is a strong word." I said throwing the shoes in the box.

"Namine doesn't even love Riku and yet she's confused. So… what would you call that? But then again her relationship is a whole different kind of story…Tch, bastard, once I get my hands on him I swear I'm going to kill him. Isn't that right…err shoe?" I was glaring at another pair of black shoes that seemed to mock me with its plainness; _I'm a shoe you dumbass!_

"Oh look at me, talking to myself and…shoes." I cried, stuffing that pair of shoes in a box. "I really am pathetic. Kairi, the stupid, pathetic, two-timing, damsel in distress."

I sighed and continued to work, this time not talking to myself or the shoes.

I was nearly done when the shop owner, poked his head around the door.

"Oh miss, you're still here? I didn't expect you to get through all of these shoes!" He said appreciatively. I gave him a friendly smile, brushing my bangs out of my face.

"I didn't either." I admitted.

"You know you can leave if you want to, I'll pay you full wage for today's services. You've really helped me out a lot!" He said generously.

"I'll finish these last shoes up for you." I said, determined to polish all these damn shoes. The owner sat down on the stool in front of me and pulled a pair of shoes beginning to polish them.

"Two workers are more efficient than one." He smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling in such an endearing way I couldn't help but let out a small laugh. "And also it isn't as lonely…. I couldn't help but overhear your conversation with the erm…shoes."

I felt my face flush in embarrassment. Oh god.

"Oh god." I groaned whacking myself with the shoe in my hand. "Ow!"

"Oh no need to be embarrassed dear! One tends to have very gripping conversations with inanimate objects when they're bored!" He laughed, before settling down. "What really concerns me is your situation. May I ask who Roxas and Sora are?"

My face flushed ten times worse.

"Um… they're just friend I guess." I mumbled.

"Hmm, care to elaborate?" He asked. I bit my lip and looked down.

And soon I was telling this old man my whole life story. It was really weird at first but after a while it felt really good to vent. I felt like this man was actually listening to me and taking in all of my comments even if it was mostly ranting.

"And I just… I don't know what to do anymore!" I finished with a great sigh. The man was studying me thoughtfully, scratching his black beard. His black eyes shifted from me to the floor. I followed his gaze to find it empty.

"Hmm, looks like we're done." He said happily, stretching up. Even up on our feet, I was still taller than him.

"Yeah…" I mumbled. I felt a little put off that he didn't give me any kind of feed back at the end of my story telling.

The owner walked me to the front of the store to dismiss me. I hadn't realized how long I stayed in the shop, it was already sunset.

"Here you go miss," The owner winked. He handed me the munny. I felt a little guilty because it more than a generous amount for a day's worth of work.

"Um… really this is too much-" I started.

"Take it; it's for the amazing story." He smiled making me grin goofily. It had that affect on me.

"Thank you." We stared at each other and I had this sudden urge to hug the old man, but decided against. As I was about to open my mouth to say goodbye he spoke.

"I think you should listen to your heart Kairi. That's what you should do." He said softly.

"My heart?" I questioned.

"Yep, it'll lead to all the answers." He laughed.

I blinked in shock for a moment before cracking into a wide grin.

"Thank you, thank you again Mr.…?"

"It's Mickey, my name's just Mickey." Mickey said. I laughed out loud because it was such an unexpected name but it fit him and his endearing smile.

"Thank you… Mickey."

He smiled one last time before turning around to go back into his shop. When his back faced me I could have sworn I saw something black and long stick out of his pants. A tail? I blinked but nothing was there anymore. Huh? More imaginations. I shook my head and smiled at how stupid I was thinking.

"Take care Kairi. Listen to that little ol' heart of yours. It knows what its doing."

Listen to my heart, huh? Suddenly I knew what to do. It was stupid really. I knew what I had to do from the very beginning; I just didn't realize it until now.

I turned to go but then all of a sudden I remembered something. I whipped back around to face Mickey. "Wait how do you know my… name?"

But he was gone. And I could have sworn I didn't hear the door of the shop open.

x.X.x

"Kairi! Hey Kairiii!"

I was in such a daze, walking around the town aimlessly, that I didn't notice Sora trying to get my attention.

"Kairi!" Sora called. My head whipped up and I saw him smiling down at me, holding a rather large bag. My guess was that it was munny. "Kairi! I was looking all over for you. The shoe place was closed when I went there to pick you up. So then I started roaming around the town hoping to find you."

"Oh really? I'm sorry." I muttered.

"I missed you! It was so boring today! Did you miss me?" He asked excitedly.

"Oh…yeah, of course," I mumbled distractedly. "Hey have you seen Roxas around?"

Sora's smile fell into a pout. "No," he mumbled sourly.

"What is it?" I asked. He looked at me before pulling his lips upward into a halfhearted smile.

"Didn't you miss me?"

I felt myself flush, suddenly realizing the attention Sora was giving me.

"Of course Sora," I giggled, reaching up and ruffling his messy hair. (Something even bolder I did.) His whole grin was back up on his face and he put his arms loosely around me.

"Ha, I knew it. Can't resist me can you Kairi?" Sora teased, wiggling his eyebrows.

I frowned, feeling suddenly distracted again. There was something I needed to do. I didn't have time for this playful banter.

"Sora have you seen Roxas? I need… I need to talk to him." I said seriously. His face fell slightly and he started to grimace. But he shook his head.

"I haven't…" He trailed off staring at me intently. He pursed his lips thoughtfully. I could feel his arms around slowly start to tighten. "You know… I think I'm starting to dislike Roxiri after all."

Ok that snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Huh?" I asked incredulously.

"I like SoKai much better." Sora whispered, his face turning serious by the second. His face was only a few inches away from mine. He leaned in closer to me, his lips so close to mine. I could feel his hot breath beating against my lips. My pulse raced.

"I-I don't understand." I mumbled. "I thought you liked Roxiri…"

Sora paused, and pulled back slightly to stare at me. "I lied."

And with that he started to lean back to me. What was I supposed to do? I needed to talk to Roxas. Why did Sora have to pick such a bad time?

As if on cue I spotted the familiar windswept blonde figure in the distance, coming closer at a pretty fast speed.

"Roxas!" I cried out, pushing Sora away. I shot him an apologetic stare before running over to meet Roxas. I soon found out that his skateboard was what was causing him to move fast.

"Kairi" Roxas smiled at me, and I felt my heart shudder. My stomach rumbled in anticipation and I felt my face flush when his soft blue eyes were on me.

"Kairi" Sora called out. I turned my attention back to him, he was staring at me with a slightly put off and slightly hurt expression. I felt my heart tug and I immediately wanted to go and comfort him but I stood my ground. I had to do this. I have to follow… my heart.

"It's ok Sora. It's going to be ok," I lied through my teeth pleasantly, as he stared at me with a doubtful expression. "It's going to be fine."

"But… I need to I need to-" He stuttered pleadingly at me, he took a step closer to me, but I backed away.

"I have to do this Sora. I need you to understand." I said with a steady voice, my eyes never leaving his. "It's going to be alright." I lied again. I think he knew I wasn't telling the truth because his skeptical gaze never left.

Before anyone could speak, I heard another voice calling me and them from far away.

"Oiii! Kairi, Roxas, Sora!" Hayner suddenly appeared in the distance with the rest of the gang. They were waving at us to come over. But the two boys stayed put waiting for my call. I felt like smacking myself. Look what you got yourself into for waiting so long Kairi! I shook my head before turning my attention back towards Sora.

"You should go with them Sora." I said quietly. He stared at me bewildered and most of all hurt. I could see it clear as day in his cerulean blue eyes.

"Kairi…" He breathed out. I looked away and glared at the floor.

"Just go Sora. I'll see you later. I promise." I said softly, before tugging on Roxas' sleeve. "Come on Roxas."

I didn't look back at Sora but I knew he listened and went back with the gang because I could hear their questions from far away.

"_Where is she going with Roxas?"_

"We still need their munny!"

"_HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING KAIRI!"_

x.X.x

My breathing wasn't normal as I walked around trying to find a good spot to do this. I could feel Roxas' curious stare on me the whole time.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" He asked. I didn't respond. Instead I reached out and clutched his hand, intertwining my fingers with his and pulling him a long. "Kairi…you're acting weird."

I felt my face flush. I've got to do this. I have to follow my heart. I kept telling myself that.

I found a little bench near a children's playground. Of course it was empty now because the sun was going down, leaving the sky a pinkish orange hue. Funny, this was sort of the same kind of view we had during one of my skateboarding lessons.

I looked over at Roxas before sitting down on the bench and motioning for him to sit down. My hand was still clutching his.

"Ok are you going to tell me now?" He asked a little impatiently I might add. I felt my lips tug into a smile. "Kairi say something-" I put a finger on his lips.

"I will. So stop rushing me." I muttered, pulling my hand away from his mouth. I looked at him, blushed and looked away.

"_Listen to that little ol' heart of yours. It knows what its doing."_

I let out a great big breath.

"There's something I need to tell you, Roxas."

**DUN DUN DUH!**

**CLIFF HANGER ALERT CLIFFHANGER ALERT! XD I'm really sorry. I couldn't really resist hahaha! OK WELL I don't know when I'm going to update. I'm just going to stop promising b/c I'm bad pulling through at the end T_T**

**It might be soon. MIGHT. This is my last week of school. So I'll have tons of time to update over the summer.  
**

**So until Next time! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!  
**


	24. Chapter 23

**Hey there reviewers! He-he, haven't updated in a while... *awkward silence* I'm sorry about that! I know, I know I'm really bad at updating XD**

**It has just come to my attention that 7 days ago, was IJAC's first B-day! It still amazes me that I've been working on this story for like a whole year (wow that's pathetic) lol j/k. Anyway, Happy B-Day Story! Okay next important thing, the POV drabbles I talked about a couple of chapters ago, well I started on some, but there still a bit ahead in the story. Can't post that up can I? THEY'LL BE SPOILERS! So...any suggestions of previous scenes? I was going to do Roxas's confession *gulp***

**Okay, back to this current I think the last chapter I wrote was the only one I was going to like...ha-ha b/c I don't like this one. I'm just- ugh, it took a lot out of me to write this one. **

**I DON'T OWN KH BLAH BLAH BLAH DON'T SUE ETC...**

**ENJOY ;D**

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His blue eyes never wandered off for an instant. His curious gaze was burning through me and I suddenly felt self-conscious. _Just do this Kairi!_

"T-there's something I need to…to tell you, Roxas." I repeated but this time the confidence in me from before was fading. My heart beat in an irregular rhythm and I suddenly found it a little difficult to breathe. Roxas pulled his dark blonde eyebrows together in confusion as he nodded his head.

"Ok, Kairi, shoot." He said. I glanced down to our hands; his thumb was stroking the top of my hand tenderly. I couldn't help but smile at this endearing gesture. He was so sweet.

He cleared his throat to capture my attention again. When I looked back up at him and saw his puzzled face, I felt the corners of my lips pull down slightly. His expression was politely curious but I could clearly see the burning passion in his eyes when mine met his. And I realized that they always did that.

"Roxas," I started, turning my body around so that I was facing him completely; our knees touching and our hands clasped firmly on the other. I opened my mouth to speak but closed it suddenly when he raised one eyebrow skeptically.

I looked away, feeling as if it were impossible to stare back into his. It was like staring into a bright light, with the way he was looking at me. His eyes were just oozing with affection. My cheeks flushed in humiliation and my chest felt like it sunk at my inability to speak.

I couldn't do it. I couldn't. I tried to say something, but it only resulted into a weak groan. I couldn't say it. I felt like a complete mute! It felt like my vocal box was torn away from my body and burned in front me. I know I was never good with words to begin with but this was ridiculous. This was Roxas after all, I could tell him anything…except….

"Kairi…c'mon, it can't be this difficult to say whatever you're going to say," Roxas reasoned, with a playful grin. I sighed inwardly. He was right. I lifted my gaze and stopped squarely on his chest. I still wasn't able to meet his eyes. It wouldn't have been possible for me to continue.

I took a deep breath, trying to settle down my crazed heart.

"Roxas, we're friends…" I began stupidly. I felt stupid. Really stupid. "We became friends this year and I'm so _so_ thankful for that." My eyes wandered towards his, feeling as if the bright light was slowly dimming down. "Sometimes friends… develop feelings, feelings of more than a friendship, for one another…"

I stopped suddenly, my throat throbbed painfully. And my vision became blurry. A familiar hot sting spread through my eyes. I didn't realize that they were brimming with tears.

"Feelings like… attraction, developing crushes and… love." I stumbled through the words, feeling as if I were going to be sick. My stomach squirmed uneasily, and I felt my hands shake under Roxas'

"Kairi…" He breathed, staring at me wide eyed and even more confused. His soft blue eyes darted between mine as if to find an answer to what I was saying. I blinked back at him, trying not to give away my emotions. It was like time froze as we both stared at each other. And then, as if a light bulb went off, his eyes widened in horror. My lips feel into a deep frown. In that instant I knew that he knew _exactly_ what I was trying to say. His face paled significantly, ten times paler than the usual for him. His expression didn't waver.

My heart felt like it crashed and burned. Almost like someone ripped it out from inside me, and was dissecting it, tearing out all the veins and arteries that held it together. **(A/N: Metaphorically speaking, otherwise that'd be really disgusting.) **Somehow**, **it felt as if my heart set off my tear ducts both conspiring against my will to stay strong. I blinked away the warm wet feeling building in my eyes, fogging up my vision and screwing up my contacts.

I pulled one of my hands away from his and quickly brushed my eyes with my fingers. I bowed my head in shame as I eyebrows pulled together in distress. _I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself._

I glared at my lap, my hair covering my face slightly as hot tears dropped freely on my jeans.

"I-I know that you like me-"

"I love you!" He said defensively. He tried his free arm to wrap around me but I shrugged away. I think that hurt him because I felt him stiffen up next to me.

I pulled my other hand away from his and wiped my eyes furiously again, feeling incredibly stupid.

"I know…And I…I'm I'm really-" I continued to fumble through my sentences, my trembling lips only made it worse to form an intelligible comment.

I chanced another look at Roxas. His expression was hard and protective.

"No!" He cried out grabbing my shoulders, and giving me a slight shake. "No! You're not doing this!"

"Please just… just understand," I begged. Roxas stared at me sobbing for a minute before his hard exterior fell. For a second I almost thought he was going to break into tears too, but he didn't.

"I-I don't understand Kairi." He said lowly, and steady. "What more do I need to do?"

I looked away and closed my eyes. I was vaguely aware that I was crying a river. The only thing I felt at this moment was my heart shred into a million pieces.

"Look at me!" He demanded, turning my head back to face him.

"Roxas…" I whimpered, feeling my body shake.

"What do I have to do? Tell me! Just tell me!" He cried. His hard blue eyes melted into liquid. His arms found their way around me and I allowed it. What more could I have done? I felt obligated to. "What do I have to do for you to pick me and not him! What's wrong with me? A-am I too quiet? Am I not attractive or smart enough? Am I not good enough as Sora is?"

"No! NO! I-it's not you!" I stammered against his shoulder. "It's me. It's always me! I'm horrible. I don't deserve you. Just hate me! Please just hate me!"

His arms around me tightened, that it felt slightly suffocating.

"I-I love-"

"I know! And that just makes things so much harder because I don't want to hurt you!" I literally screamed out, my voice was slightly muffled.

His arms around me fell limply at his side. Roxas backed off for a second, staying quiet. He froze like a statue, looking torn between bewildered and hurt. I reached out to him but he flinched away, rising up to his feet.

I blinked at him confusedly.

"You already have." He whispered coldly. His blue eyes hardened in seconds, and before I knew it he was glaring at me. It was so unexpected that I couldn't help but wince.

"R-Roxas…please, I'm so sorry!" I jumped up to my feet. "I-I…it was so hard! You can't believe how hard it was to- to choose, if it was another situation-"

"Another situation?" He yelled incredulously, throwing his hands up in the air. "What other kind of situation could you be in, in order to pick me and not _him_?"

"I don't know." I admitted.

"Then why are you doing this?" He pleaded. "Don't do this Kairi. Don't."

"Roxas…It's always been him, since seventh grade." I said miserably. "I'm always going to choose him."

He backed away again, putting a fair amount of distance between us. He glared at me with so much frustration. I was just waiting for him to run his hand through his hair in agitation but he didn't. Instead he placed his hand on his forehead covering his eyes.

"Then you're an idiot." He said shakily. "You're a stupid Sora chasing idiot!" He threw his hand away and glowered at me. I felt a new emotion come into a play. A slow churning anger boiled in the pit of my stomach.

"I-I know, I know."

"No you don't know! You're pathetic!" He spat. "I wish I never met you! I wish you'll chase Sora the rest of your stupid life!"

His words literally felt like blows to my heart. How could he say that to me? How could I sit back and let him say those things to me? The anger kept bubbling up towards the surface until I blew up.

"At least I'm not chasing you." I sneered rather harshly. Roxas' glare deepened at my direct attack on his ego.

"And I'm glad! I couldn't stand to have you chase me!" He snapped back. Liar, I thought coldly.

"Shut up Roxas before you say more stupid things you'll regret later!" I said icily, watching him with wary eyes. This was my fault after all. I should apologize. I inwardly scolded myself. This was to be expected right? This was what I wanted; Roxas to hate me. It was supposed to make things easier, but how come I'm feeling like crap?

I looked at Roxas to find him still glowering at me with his freezing blue eyes. I shivered involuntarily.

"You're going to end up just like Namine," He spat nastily. My ears suddenly perked up at the mention of her. How did he know about her …? "Sora's going to treat you just like Riku does to Namine. You're going to be with someone who doesn't give a damn about you!"

An image flashed Namine waking up from my bed earlier this morning, the ghostly pale fright on her expression, her affection for that bastard Riku, the bruises running up along her arm. My face flushed in fury as he pulled his lips into a dark smirk. What right does he have to even mention her? Everything around me was shaking and all I saw was red.

"I hate you!" I sputtered unevenly.

"I hate-…"Roxas opened his mouth quickly to retort, but stopped.

"Go ahead! Say it! Tell me you hate me!" I screamed, stepping forward and pushing his chest. "Say it!"

Roxas's anger melted. And I didn't understand how fast he could get over his anger. I shoved him again, hoping to provoke him; it didn't work.

"C'mon!" I demanded, pushing him harder. Roxas bowed his head, staring straight at the floor. For a second I thought he was ignoring me, but he suddenly whipped his head to face me. And he looked at me so sadly that I hesitated and staggered back slightly.

_No,_ he was supposed to stay mad. I pushed him again, ignoring the pitiful expression plastered across his face. I wanted him to get mad. I was mad, I was furious. It wasn't fair that he didn't have to suffer like I did. Like Namine did.

"Just say it, god damn it!"

"I love you!"

My throat constricted and my stomach tightened. It felt like every cell in my body froze at his words. Somehow 'I love you' hurt more than how 'I hate you' would have felt.

"Ugh!" I yelled, throwing my hands up in the air. I turned away from him, partly to hide my angry tears and partly not to continue on my rant. I knew I already had said enough to make things worse than they could have possibly been. I knew for a fact that I did not handle this as well as I had planned it after talking to Mickey.

"I don't want to talk to you anymore." I muttered softly. "You're just…" I stopped unable to find the proper word to describe him at this moment.

"Kairi!"

"I'm leaving."

"Where are you going?"

I didn't realize that the sun went down and walking home by myself would be an incredibly stupid or suicidal move.

"Away from you!" I snapped.

"I'm not letting you go anywhere without going with you." he told me simply.

_Ugh, just leave me alone already! How many times do I have to hurt you, in order for you to leave me alone! _

"I'm going to find Sora." I blurted out loud without meaning to. I could feel Roxas's incredulous eyes on my back as I said that.

"You're not going to- to tell him… are you?"

"What do you think Roxas?" I sneered sarcastically.

Before I so much as took a step, I felt something clasp my hand. My eyes flickered down to find Roxas's hand holding mine firmly. I turned my head slightly to look at him over my shoulder.

"Don't do this Kairi," He said a tone of urgency in his voice. His hand on mine tightened considerably. I narrowed my eyes to glare at him.

"I can do whatever I please, Roxas," I snapped. "And besides, wasn't it you who suggested I tell him from the very beginning?"

"Yes but, that was before-"

"Before what? You told me you loved me?" I mocked. I know I was acting like a real bitch, but I couldn't help myself. Everything came out like word vomit.

His face paled slightly. "N-no, I mean I don't know but-"

"Roxas whatever you say isn't going to stop me," I said angrily. I snatched my hand away from his, and turned to walk away.

"Kairi, you're going to get hurt!" he called after me. I stopped suddenly, and considered what he said. It was true, there was a strong possibility that that could happen. I found myself slowly turning to face him.

"Regardless, I need to do this," I said coolly. And I ran. I ran as fast as I could. I ignored his calling. I had no idea where I was going. As long as I was running away from him, that was all that mattered to me.

The night air was beating against my face as I picked up speed. The breeze didn't feel good at all. It couldn't have just been me, but it was sickening. I stopped a couple of times to catch my breath, before running again. I knew Roxas would be on my trail.

As much as I hated running, it did have its benefits. I could concentrate solely on my footsteps, instead of that dreadful argument with Roxas. _1 step, 2 step, 1 step, 2 step…_

It was repetitive. It was soothing. It was _easy_.

After running down a couple of streets and satisfied of the amount of distance I put myself in, I nearly crashed into a bus stop sign. It was then I realized I really did need to stop running because I was starting to see things that weren't there. For example, three transit bus signs when there was only one.

I closed my eyes, feeling myself fall into a state of vertigo. When did my head start to feel like a jumbled up mess? When did my eyes start to burn? When did my heart fall out of my chest and into a puddle?

Only one thing kept flashing in my mind. _Roxas, Roxas, Roxas…._

And soon he triggered everything my running tried to block out.

I crawled on the bench and cried my eyes out. I didn't really care much, if people were looking at me like I was some crack head. Everything around me was sort of like an emotional blur.

_How could I have said those horrible things to him? _

"Well what about him, huh?" I snapped at myself. "What he said was pretty horrible too."

_But still…_

As much as I felt the need to defend Namine when Roxas brought her up, I felt as if what I said was unjustified. It _was_ unjustified! How could I have told him I hated him? I don't hate him. I just don't love him. Why couldn't he understand that?

I banged my forehead against my knees.

"I hate myself," I mumbled miserably.

"No you don't."

My bones literally jumped out of my skin. I stared wildly around the bus stop, until I noticed the person sitting next to me. The warm blue eyes, the comforting soft brown spikes, the familiar tanned face.

"Sora," I cried out. His usual cheery face was replaced with a concerned one. His eyes darted between mine looking for an answer within my expression. It reminded me of someone else. I looked away hastily, almost guiltily.

"You don't hate yourself," He said firmly.

"How did you find me?"

"I caught you running, so I just followed you here." He confessed.

I didn't say anything. I continued to look away from him, bowing my head.

"What wrong?"He asked me, putting his hand over mine. It instantly sent chill up my arm. My face flushed at this gesture, despite how upset I was. "What did _he_ do now?" His tone was accusatory, and yet I couldn't find it in myself to scold him.

"He didn't do anything. I…." I whispered sadly. "I've said something horrible to him. I'm not sure he'll forgive me this time."

I glanced back at Sora to his expression turned hard, also reminding me of a certain blonde person. He clenched his jaw and unclenched it.

"He'll…He'll forgive you I'm sure of it," He said in a strained voice. His eyes weren't on me anymore. They were glaring at the concrete of the sidewalk. "And then you guys will make up and end up together, like you're supposed to."

His eyes flickered back to me, and he forced out a cheap grin. "Finally right?" Somehow deep down I knew his enthusiasm was a halfhearted attempt for fake happiness.

"Sora…" I started.

"Listen, Kairi, I know I may not know much about you guys but I'm almost positive he'll forgive you. How can he not? I know I wouldn't be able to stay mad at you," He said, his lips stretching into a more sincere smile.

I felt my lips twitch into a small smile.

"Thank you, Sora," I said.

"No problem, it's my job to cheer you up; you are my hostage after all." He said with a small wink.

"Yeah, sure," I said distractedly. Sora looked at me worriedly. He cleared his throat awkwardly, giving my hand a gentle squeeze.

"So- what happened? Did he say no to your confession or…?" He asked trailing off, looking at me mildly curious. I looked away, feeling the shame from before overcome me.

"Huh confession? Confession of what? No. Why would you think that?" I asked wearily and puzzled all of a sudden. What was he talking about? I raised one of my eyebrows giving him a confused look before he averted his eyes from mine.

"Everyone loves Roxiri, even you do now, so I just assumed…" He mumbled to himself. I pulled my eyebrows together in confusion. I stared at his face for a long time, trying to read him. Was this really happening? Or am I just dreaming? If it was, then I could redo my whole argument with Roxas and make it better.

I pinched myself. Ow. No it couldn't have been. My eyes fell on Sora again, who was looking a little red. Huh, maybe it was just the way the street lamp was hitting him. I racked my brain for any hints that might have given Sora away. He did say he liked _SoKai_ better, but that doesn't make sense. It was probably just some playful banter. Besides he likes Namine. Or at least did. _Does he still like her?_

_Well, he did try to kiss me._ Suddenly my heart accelerated in anticipation. Huh? When did that get back in place? And I realized that Sora had reached out into the puddle, picked up the pieces of my heart and put it back into place.

I chewed my lip contemplating what to do. What do I do? I reached forward but backed away. And forward and back again. I kept this hesitation up for a few more minutes until I finally calmed my nerves.

And suddenly (don't know how, don't ask) I found myself leaning in to him. Before Sora could even notice how close I was, I pressed my lips against his. My cheeks were burning as I clutched his hand. I was vaguely aware of him kissing back. The only thing going on in my head was praise for even having the guts to make the first move.

Sora pulled his hand away from mine and I was about to protest until I felt him put his arms around me, bringing me closer. I brought my arms around his neck. His lips moved against mine in a rhythmic pattern and I couldn't help but think that I was meant to kiss Sora.

But wait; there was something I needed to tell him too. I pulled away. His eyes were still closed, so I cleared my throat. His eyes flashed open immediately.

"Um…" I started nervously. Well of course I was nervous, after macking with the guy.

"What is it?" He asked. I felt his warm breath beating against my lips. It tasted peppermint. How odd. His blue eyes probed mine with honest curiosity. Somehow it felt familiar to me, only if his skin suddenly turned pale, or his brown spikes shifted to a lighter blond shade and stick up from the side. I blinked away that thought.

"Sora… I um I- well I like you!" I blurted out, feeling my pulse quicken. My fingers trembled against the back of his neck. His cerulean blue eyes widened his shock and his mouth parted slightly. Everything around suddenly felt like nothing, It felt like nothing was around me, only Sora. He leaned his forehead against mine, closing his eyes and smiling.

"R-really?" He whispered, his lips stretching into a wide smile. I breathed in quickly. My head was spinning; I couldn't believe I actually said that. I couldn't believe we were kissing a few seconds ago. I was still trying to process the thought.

"Yes," I breathed out, looking away from his perfect face. "I've liked you for a very long time."

"You don't know how relieved I am to hear you say that." He admitted softly.

"You're not serious are you?"

Sora opened one of his eyes to give me a skeptical look. "Of course I am. I-I like you too."

My heart fluttered and my stomach was doing over excited back flips. I was dizzy but a good kind of dizzy, unlike the one earlier. It was dizzy feeling you get after spinning around on the grass for a long time and falling down in a petal of leaves. (With no bugs of course).

"You don't know how long I've waited to hear that," I confessed, feeling my heart pound crazily against my chest.

"But Roxas-"

"Roxas, he-"I stopped, hesitating. "He doesn't know what he wants." I knew my face was dropping from the ecstatic expression because Sora was staring at me worriedly. I shook my head slightly, lifting up the corners of my lips. "But I know what I want." I moved my face a little closer to him, feeling my face burn with embarrassment. I was acting surprisingly bolder than ever. I moved my hands, until my fingertips brushed his wild brown hair.

"Whoa…" He made a low whistle. "You had me scared there, earlier… I would have never thought, or guessed that you-" I smiled softly.

"I'm good at hiding my feelings Sora," I said, and then furrowed my eyebrows." To a certain point."

He smiled back at me, at me, and not Namine. I couldn't help but let the butterflies flutter free in my stomach. Everything was right; everything was perfect for the first time.

"So what do we do now?" I asked awkwardly. "Sorry, it's not everyday I blurt out my feelin-"I was cut off suddenly by something completely unexpected. I blinked furiously surprised after Sora's lips crashed into mine. And then quickly he pulled away, grinning nervously.

"Sorry," He apologized, observing my reaction. I was still in complete shock. It was a different experience to have the other person initiate the kiss. My hands rushed to my bottom lip, my finger tracing it gently. The soft burning sensation of his lips, lingered. The next thing I saw almost made me gasp in greater shock. He was blushing! Sora was blushing and not because of Namine, oh no! It was because of me, it was all me! My face felt like it was blushing as well.

"Sora, I uh,"I stammered trying to find words to express myself, but I couldn't. My mind was spinning and all I was thinking about was utter nonsense that revolved around this boy sitting next to me.

But before I could even say anything else, a voice rang out, calling out my name, someone's I instantly recognized as Hayner's. That boy seriously knew how to interrupt important conversations, didn't he?

I released my hold around Sora's neck and attempted to pull away, but his hands stayed firmly around me. The gang grew closer and I could already see Olette's smug face from the distance.

"Sora-"I started.

"Ah, let them see, they're going to have to get used to it at school right?" He said cheekily, planting a kiss on my cheek just as he did the night he dropped me off from the party. I blushed and looked down.

"So that's it then? We're… we're- um…" I trailed off struggling to finish the sentence.

"We're going out?" He completed my statement, with a huge grin. I nodded silently, my face flushing profusely. Before I could have even said anything to redeem how stupid I probably looked Sora tackled me into a childish hug.

"Awww, Kairi you're so cute I just wanna eat you!"

I face palmed, my face a deep brick red.

"Sora that makes me feel like I'm some sort of food!" I complained.

Sora pondered this, tapping his chin thoughtfully with his index finger.

"You'd make an awesome cookie, though Kairi!" He exclaimed. "I'd bake like a dozen of Kairi-cookies and try to sell them and when someone tries to buy one, I'll jump to the rescue and say _'You can eat my girlfriend, you fiend!'_ It's perfect!"

I think I kind of stopped listening after the word girlfriend.

"Hey you thieves, how could you run off with all the munny!" Hayner's voice suddenly brought me out from my blissful bubble. I didn't realize that the gang was standing in front of us already.

"All the munny?" I questioned, turning to Sora. "What is he talking about?"

Sora dug into his pocket and pulled the large bag of munny I had seen earlier, handing it to Hayner. He turned back to me, smiling sheepishly.

"Heh, I forgot I ran off with it…" He admitted guiltily, scratching the back of his head. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the munny I earned. All of their eyes grew wide.

"Who gave you all that? What did you do? All you did was put shoes in boxes." Hayner probed rudely. I pouted, sticking out my tongue.

"I polished shoes for your information!" I huffed angrily.

"Explains why you taste like shoe polish," Sora blurted out impulsively. I blushed an angry red and pulled away from Sora, forgetting that I was still in his arms. I could feel everyone's eyes on us.

"You bit her or what? Hey why are you guys sitting so close to each other?" Hayner asked stupidly. I heard a smacking sound and his small yelp. My eyes flashed up to find Hayner rubbing the back of his head, wincing slightly and Olette's murderous glare.

"You're such an idiot," She snapped.

"Ollie!" He complained.

Sora chuckled good-naturedly beside me, sneaking his arm back around me. Apparently he wasn't being as discreet as he hoped to be because Pence caught him.

"Since when did this shenanigans start?" He asked, gesturing towards the both of us.

"Just now!" Sora said happily. I face palmed. "Me and Kairi are a _thing_ now! Jealous?" He challenged, raising one of his brown eyebrows.

"Oh yeah! Sora I'm _so_ jealous," Pence cried out sarcastically.

"Hey where'd Roxas run off to?" Hayner's started again with his stupid questions. I felt myself stiffen uncomfortably at the mention of his name. Sora noticed and his arm around me tightened in a comforting way.

"Yeah?" Olette piped in just as curiously, her green eyes flashing from Sora to me. I looked away and shrugged my shoulders. I honestly didn't know where he was. If anything I thought he would have went and joined the gang while I was off on my running spree. "I just called my mom to come pick us up, there's no way I'm walking home this late. _We can't just leave Roxas_."

I shut my eyes tightly. That's exactly what I did. I just left Roxas. And this was the second time.

"I think he wants to be alone right now." I murmured softly. Olette gave me a half confused and half sympathetic stare.

x.X.x

It was probably around eight-thirty something when Olette's mom came for us in her huge SUV. I was sort of half hoping Roxas would show up, just to know that he was getting home safely. But he didn't. Sora sensed my worry and gave me a reassuring smile.

"I'll make sure he's at home," He promised me when we were sitting in the car. I nodded.

My eyes felt extremely heavy, and the feeling of drowsiness was too hard to overcome. The lull of the moving car only intensified this feeling. I let my eye lids droop slowly, expecting sleep to come soon. But before my eyes became half lidded I felt something squeeze my hand. Another hand to be exact. My eyes instantly shot wide open as I looked wildly around me. Sora was smiling slightly, his hand creating a shield over mine.

"Ugh get a room!" Olette teased, nudging me in the side. I turned and shot her a glare.

"You shouldn't talk Miss Pucker Up," I snapped. Olette flushed deeply before frowning and turning away. Sora laughed.

"Good one," he praised. I smiled to myself and rested my head on his shoulder.

This was it. I was Sora's girlfriend. This was what I wanted for the longest! I waited for the enormous amount of joy and excitement I dreamt of feeling to fill me up, but it didn't come. Maybe it'll come soon, I thought. This _was_ my first ever relationship, after all. So it was all new to me.

I inhaled Sora's smell deeply, the peppermint drowning me. I loved the smell, I don't think anything could have compared to it.

And yet… I couldn't help but wish I was inhaling the familiar winter fresh aroma. I sighed inwardly.

_I'm sorry, Roxas._

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**Dun dun duh! Yep, that's all I got :D**

**DON'T HATE KAIRI! XD Hahahahaha She's just so lost and insecure (you found me, you found me!) - hahaha inside joke****, I know I'm not making her very likable right now, forgive me.  
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**The next chapter may revolve around Namine again...idk, haven't decided yet, or maybe some SoKai fluff (ugh)**

**I don't know. **

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!  
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	25. Chapter 24

**My dear dear Reviewers, I'm sooo sorry! DX I haven't updated in such a long time, I feel absolutely terrible. I know I had tons of opportunities to update but I've just been procrastinating. I'm really sorry. But it came out pretty long...so...lol?**

**On a happier note, I've been reading like crazy...Just finished Wuthering Heights a few days ago. OMFG I TOTALLY HATE HEATHCLIFF! Hareton and Catherine made up for it thought :D, lol I've also been getting into the Runaways and Joan Jett and the Blackhearts...i know totally random right? Sorry I'm boring you with my trivial interests.  
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**Ok, back to this chapter. Um, well it's got tons and tons of angst, like seriously T_T', you have been warned! I really don't like this chapter (surprise)...and again it took a lot out of me to write. I've been staring at this blank page for the longest...**

**Anyway, I won't keep you long, so enjoy the chapter :D**

**I DON'T OWN KH SO DON'T SUE BLAH BLAH BLAH WHATEVER  
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All together we accumulated more than enough munny for the T.V replacement. The only problem was the shipping. It would take two days, and seeing as Hayner's parents would come back on tomorrow didn't really help. So in the end, it was pretty useless. Hayner's parents would find out he threw a party while they were away, his friends broke the T.V, and that they would never be able to trust him again… Things were looking bleak.

"I'm still screwed," Hayner moaned in the middle recliner seats. His hands were buried in his face, wiping what I assumed to be tears. Olette was quick to pat his shoulder, wearing a sympathetic expression.

"At least we had the munny to replace it," She reasoned, giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Imagine how much _more_ trouble you would have been if your parents would have come home to a broken T.V."

"Ollie! They're still going to come back to a broken T.V because the new one won't be there yet!" He complained.

"I don't think you're getting my point…" She mumbled, removing her hand and leaning back in her seat.

I had to stifle a giggle, and Sora stuffed the back of his hand in his mouth to prevent himself from laughing.

"What are you two laughing at?" Olette probed. I was about to retort a smart-aleck comment, but suddenly the car pulled up into my house driveway.

"Who's house?" Olette's mom asked lazily, putting the car on park to wait.

"Mine," I chirped, unbuckling my seat belt. Sora unbuckled and jumped out of the car to let me out. I turned abruptly, with a small smile on my face as Sora returned it. "Um…bye."

He shut the door, and looked down at me curiously for a second before chuckling, grabbing my hand and pulling him along with him.

"You- I don't think you can come in…" I started wildly, feeling my face flush angrily. I couldn't! I mean I haven't even told my own mom about him! And I haven't been his girlfriend for over thirty minutes! He was moving way too fast. I opened my mouth again to protest but he put his hand up.

"I'm walking you to your door, silly don't freak out!" He teased, good-naturedly. I caught a glimpse of Olette's mom raising an eyebrow at us, Olette absolutely beaming, and Pence giving Sora the thumbs up. I face palmed.

"I'll be back in a second, I promise!" He called over his shoulder to Olette's mom. He tugged me along until I was walking side-by-side instead of behind him. I climbed the steps of the porch, and Sora did along with me. Was he planning to walk me all the way to the door or what? Well he did the last time. Then again we weren't technically dating last time.

I paused at the front door waiting for him to turn and walk back to the car but he stayed in place. Sora's blue eyes burned through me with its unusual innocence. His lips curved into a gentle smile.

I smiled back, feeling a surge of confidence run through me. Really what did I have to be nervous about now? He was my…my boyfriend. It still sounded a little funny in my head. As if reading my thoughts, his grin widened to reveal his shiny set of teeth and I couldn't help but giggle.

"What are you laughing at?" He pouted.

"You," I admitted honestly. He moved closer, leaned down, until we were almost at eye level.

"Meanie," He whispered. His breath beating against my lips sent cold tingles down my spine. I licked my lips nervously. My fingers curled into fists and then out again. I felt his hand touch my arm lightly, almost invitingly. He closed his blue eyes and I knew what was coming next. I closed mine but then opened them. Was I supposed to do this? Why am I freaking out? I kissed him just fine earlier. Besides it's not like I haven't had kissing experience before… My face flushed a deep red and it had nothing to do with the close proximity of Sora.

_Stupid, Kairi, focus, Sora is about to kiss you right now and you're letting your mind go astray!_

Just as I was about to close my eyes and let Sora have his way with me (sounds so wrong but whatever) a high and loud wolf whistle rang through my ears. I spun my head around quickly looking for the source; Sora's lips crash landed on my cheek.

My blood boiled as I glared at the parked car in my drive way.

"Kiss her already!" I heard Olette's annoyed voice through the rolled down car window. More wolf whistles were made. I squinted to find Olette poke her head out the window, pumping her fist in the air making more whistles. If I looked deeper I would have found Pence making kissy faces. Hayner was still moping in the background and Olette's mom looked irritated as hell. Heck I would be too, driving these crazy teenagers around.

I turned back to Sora who had stepped back. He was running a hand through his messy spikes awkwardly. His tanned face was stained with angry, embarrassed pink blotches.

"I think you should go… They _are_ kind of waiting on you," I pointed out. He looked over uneasily. His face was torn between anger and humiliation.

I averted my eyes. Out of all the times we've been together he chose now to be all shy?

"Yeah," He mumbled, looking down at his shoes. I opened my mouth to say something but was interrupted by a loud commotion coming from the car again.

"Kiss her! Kiss her!"

"Ravish her!"

"Ew that's gross Pence, not in front of my _mom_!"

"_OIette _what kind of friends do you hang out with!"

"Sorry Mom, Pence isn't really my friend."

"What! Yeah I am!"

"Ok fine he is…he's just a weirdo.."

"SUCK HER FACE OFF!"

"Pence!"

"This is like real live porn!"

"PENCE!"

Sora ran a hand through his messy spikes more violently by the second. I coughed, looking up at him and then down. My cheeks were flushed brilliantly and I didn't think they would ever be my normal color again.

"He is right though," Sora mumbled quietly. I gasped and backed away.

"This isn't like a porno you sick-"

"No!" He protested defensively, his face really red at this point. "I just meant that this is about the time I give you a goodbye kiss…" He trailed off, giving me knowing look. I stayed still for a moment before nodding my head uneasily. What was I supposed to say? If were ever going to kiss those idiots in the car screwed up the moment.

I kept my gaze firmly glued to the floor. I heard Sora clear his throat loudly. And I saw him shift his weight between his two feet.

"Uh, Kairi? He whispered; I heard him clearly despite how low his voice was. I think that's when I realized he moved closer to me. My eyes immediately flashed upwards to find his tanned face a few inches from mine. His expression was expectant and a little flustered. His lips pulled into a soft smile and I couldn't help but give him a returning grin. My cheeks reddened in seconds.

Sora leaned into me before I had time to register that we were supposed to start leaning in to each other. His lips brushed against mine quickly. But it was enough to feel the smile on his lips and to taste the peppermint off of his mouth. And I realized that kissing Sora was very similar to eating a candy cane. I almost laughed out loud at that thought.

"I'll call you later." He promised, giving me a reassuring wink. I smiled, nodding, slightly dazed from the kiss. I turned and without thinking crashed into the front door.

"Ow!"

I heard Sora's soft chuckle in the background.

"You have to open the door first, Kairi," He teased.

"Ah, right," I mumbled, flushing incredibly. I opened the door and slammed it quickly behind me. I didn't even wait until Sora walked into the car. My shoulders relaxed once I heard the car restart and drive off.

My heart was pounding loudly inside my chest and I seriously felt like I was floating. I let out a big happy sigh. The smile was still on my face.

"Someone's happy," My mom's sarcastic voice came from the living room. Crap! I looked around and found her standing by the window that had like_ the_ best view of the front porch. Double crap!

"Um…sure," I supplied, making a run for the stairs. But before I could I felt her latch an arm around me and pull me back into the living room.

"Who's the boy huh?" She probed, with an all-knowing-smile. I pulled away from her angrily, fixing my shirt.

"None of your beeswax," I huffed.

"Of course it's my beeswax! I'm the queen bee!" She snapped, giving me the authority look and I knew immediately that I'd end up spilling all.

"Nobody…he's just a- er friend," I muttered uncertainly. Did I want my mom to know I have a… a boyfriend now?

"Really now? The boy practically stalks you…" She trailed off, implying something else. I caved.

"Ok…he's my friend…that's a boy, in which the word _boy_ comes before the word _friend_ to make one word." I rambled on stupidly.

I peeked up at my mom's expression. At first it was confusion, then shock, than absolute excitement.

"Boyfriend? Him? You!" She cried, staring at me wildly. I winced and looked away embarrassed. Her eyes flashed to the door I came in from and then back at me. "He's cute!"

"Yeah…"I admitted exasperatedly, my face heating up. Now I knew why I was so hesitant to tell her.

"Since when? I want to hear all about it!" She gushed, flipping her hair over her shoulder. I face palmed.

"Mom!"

"C'mon Kairi, this is exciting! I never would have thought in a million years you'd ever get a boyfriend in high school!" She babbled, wearing a huge grin.

I frowned. "Yeah…thanks….Mom. I appreciate your unwavering confidence in my dating abilities."

"I mean don't take it wrong!" She pleaded, her smile falling into a frown. "I just thought you were a little socially retarded. But I'm so glad I was wrong!" Her smile was back in place, if anything, wider than before. My frown deepened and my cheeks darkened.

I opened my mouth to mumble out another sarcastic remark but I couldn't come up with one. I bowed my head, glaring at the floor before turning around and climbed up the stairs.

"Night Mom, all this socializing is making me tired," I cried out falsely, over my shoulder.

"Oh before I forget! I should tell you that Namine's parents called me earlier today." She started. I could easily hear the tone in her voice slipping back into the authority one. I looked over my shoulder curiously.

"Really? What about?"

"Apparently they had no idea she was with you, last night." I could feel her eyes piercing through mine, trying to find any ounce of guilt on my face. I tried to keep my expression politely curious. But that proved to be a struggle under my mother's probing gaze.

"Oh…sorry, I thought she called her parents." I admitted, which was true.

"Her parents tried to call her but only reached her voicemail. Isn't that odd?" She questioned. I felt myself audibly gulp. "It was almost like she was avoiding their calls, no?"

_Not her parent's calls, to be exact._

"Maybe her phone died?" I lied.

"Hmm, I don't think so. Seeing as she called them back this morning." My mom retorted, her lips pulled down into a disapproving frown.

"Well that's weird isn't it?" I laughed uneasily.

"Why wouldn't she answer her phone?" She asked suspiciously. One of her eyebrows raised and I knew she was saving this face for the real interrogation. Crap. What do I do? Should I tell her the real reason? It's not my reason to tell. But Namine's being…just really stupid lately. Maybe she _needs_ to be ratted out.

"Namine and Riku got in a fight…so she's not talking to him right now." I confessed guiltily, staring at my shoes.

"Why would they fight?"

"I don't know! I don't butt in their sick relationship!" I snapped.

"Kairi…"

"What?"

"Is there something else you're hiding?"

_Oh nothing… besides the fact that Namine's a moron who's letting an even bigger moron hurt her._

"No." I said.

"Kairi, Namine's not here right now, it's ok." She assured me. I pressed my lips into a firm tight line. That's it. I won't say anything else, I thought. God, Namine was going to kill me. The next thing I know will happen is my mom calling her mom and then there'll be this whole intervention and Namine would hate me forever.

I looked away from my mom, turning back and continued to climb the stairs. But my mom's next words made me stop in my tracks.

"Kairi, I know there's something else."

"Did Namine's parents put you up to this?" I asked angrily.

"They are concerned." She admitted seriously. "She's not drawing anymore."

I froze. I knew instantly that this was a bad sign. A _very _bad sign. It was like hell turned into an icy wonderland, no scratch that, wasteland. Namine not drawing was like –I don't know, me liking Seifer. Just impossible. She always had her sketchbook with her. It was like her freakin' diary. The last time she stopped drawing was when her grandma died. I don't know what happened but whatever she experienced sort of traumatized her. She stopped talking then too. It was months before she was the same again.

I shook my head clearing my thoughts. I'm not giving Namine enough credit. She's old enough now, to know what's best for her… right? My gut rumbled doubtfully. Somehow I couldn't help but disagree with myself.

"She told me she was going to draw today," I said indifferently. "Honestly mom, I think you're blowing this way out of proportion."

I didn't wait for her to respond. I climbed the rest of the stairs, yanked open my door and slammed it. My blood was boiling angrily. How did a teasing conversation about Sora lead to a lying fest about Namine?

My head burst into little fits of spazz attacks. At this moment I really didn't know what to feel. I mean at first the joy from finally being Sora's girlfriend (after years of hoping) occupied my head. Then Namine popped into my mind, her bruises flashing at me in a mocking sort of way. Then it was Riku and his stupid smirk with his stupid hair and stupid charm that stupid Namine seems to have fallen under. Her parents and my mom revolved around my head next. What were they going to do? The guilt drowned me. Should I have told my mom about the bruises? Any good friend would have, regardless if Namine would have gotten mad. I mean it's concerning her safety. But then I'd be betraying her trust. But it's not like she ever really tells me anything anymore.

I slapped my forehead angrily. Great Kairi, just great, you're _such_ a good friend.

And then to my discomfort, Roxas barged his way into my mind. His blue eyes, smiling face, and blond hair interrupting my sudden anger towards myself. His eyes turned cold and distant suddenly and his face was worse than a grimace.

"_You're going to end up just like Namine,"_

"_I hate you!"_

"_I love you!"_

My chest constricted painfully and I curled myself into a ball.

What am I supposed to do?

x.X.x

The next morning I woke up to find my mom flashing me that same suspicious stare she was giving me last night. I resisted the urge to stick my tongue out at her. I ate my breakfast calmly avoiding her gaze.

When I walked outside, I figured I'd walk to school with Namine, now that she's not on speaking terms with Riku. I felt partly glad because of this, and partly sympathetic only because of Namine's current state. I went over next door and knocked, waiting patiently to see my friend bursting through the door to greet me. Instead I was met with an older looking version of said friend.

"Oh hi there Kairi," Namine's mom said stiffly. I never really liked her mom, she always walked around like there was stick up her butt and was always wearing high heels regardless of what she was doing. Her make up was always done perfectly and she was like the ideal movie star mom. I'm so glad Namine didn't turn out that way.

I cleared my throat and looked away. I pulled my lips into a small respectful grin, I saved for the parentals.

"Um, is Namine still here? I was thinking that we could walk to school," I started to say before her mom cut me off.

"Namine's not feeling well today," She said sharply, giving me a knowing look, as if she knew something that I obviously didn't. I felt my polite smile wipe off my face slowly.

"She's not going to school?" I probed, trying to look over her shoulder in hopes that I'd see her. Namine's mom blocked my view once she realized what I was doing.

"No she isn't, so I'd advise that you carry on," She replied stiffly, giving me the once over. I pursed my lips and looked down guiltily. What on earth was her problem? I knew her mom had weird ego issues but this was different. It was almost like she was blaming me for Namine's sudden illness.

"How sick is she?" I pressed, disregarding her _advice_.

Her eyes narrowed.

"Oh? You're worried are you?" She sneered, and I felt my face flush in anger.

OF course I'm worried dip shit, I thought furiously.

"Yeah, I am," I snapped, trying to keep my steady tone intact but failing entirely. Her eyebrows rose in shock before her lips pulled into a smirk.

"What a _great_ friend you are," She replied. I could clearly hear her voice dripping with intense sarcasm.

"The very best," I said coldly, crossing my arms over my chest. We both glared at each other. I would have felt really ashamed for doing this, but this lady was seriously pissing me off.

"I think you should go now, you'll be late for school." She finally said.

"Please tell Namine I came. And-" I stopped myself from saying I'd stop by later, because something in her mother's eyes told me I wasn't welcome. I cleared my throat again awkwardly. "And um, tell her I hope she gets better."

She nodded once, before shutting the door in my face. I huffed for a few seconds glaring at the door, before backing up and walking to school.

There was only one thought running through my head, what the hell?

x.X.x

Namine's mom was right; I was late for school. When I walked into homeroom five minutes late, which was pretty much like halfway into that period already, the teacher shot me dirty look. I blushed apologetically, stumbling to my seat in the back.

My eyes instinctively glanced towards the seat next to mine. Roxas had face pressed against his left hand, as he traced shapes lazily on his board that was propped up on the table. My chest warmed up at the sight of him. He wasn't lost, or injured, or anything. He looked perfectly normal. I let out a sigh of relief.

I kept my mouth clamped shut. What was I supposed to say to him?

Uh, sorry would be a good way to start. I felt my chest constrict again, the same way it did last night when I remembered our last conversation. My eyes peeked over at Roxas only to find that he was staring at me the whole time.

I would have flushed in embarrassment at being caught, but something in his eyes set off a red flag. He wasn't seeing me, I mean he was, but he wasn't all there. I considered opening my mouth to speak, but my lips formed a stubborn line, refusing to open.

Giving up, I turned my head towards the homeroom teacher who was trying to get his class's attention.

"What? Are you not talking to me now?" Roxas's voice broke my concentration. I blinked in shock, my mouth falling open effortlessly, before turning back around to face him.

I saw his lips pull into a smile that looked more like a grimace to me. My face fell into a miserable expression. He must of noticed because I caught a flash of pain fill his empty eyes before smoothing out over again.

I gulped and looked away.

"Hi," I mumbled stupidly to the desk. I heard Roxas laugh. But it wasn't _his_ laugh. It was this weird crazy, almost hysterical laugh. I felt myself inwardly cringe. It's going to get better, I told myself. This was for the best. He doesn't know what he wants. He doesn't…

"Hello," He greeted back. "And how have you been?"

I shot him an incredulous look. He stared back with an amused expression that held absolutely no humor.

Before I could open my mouth to speak the teacher addressed us angrily.

"I'd continue, if Mr. Roxas, and Ms. Kairi would ahem, excuse my lack of better words, SHUT UP!" He scolded, making me jump in my seat. I murmured an embarrassed apology.

Roxas's eyes lazily flickered to the teacher, giving him a blank stare. I waited for the infamous scowl, or glare to form on his face, but it never showed.

His face remained completely and utterly indifferent.

"Anyway, as I was saying, we have a new student joining this school, and she will be in this homeroom. Any minute she'll be walking through these doors, I assume she's getting her schedule sorted out. So when she does show, I want the class to give her a warm welcome… or else."

I didn't take his threat to heart, after all, the teacher was an overweight middle aged man, I doubt he could outrun me, and I probably could divert his attention with a box of twinkies.

"Where is she from?" A student barked loudly, causing the teacher to shoot them a glare.

"She'll tell you," He said through gritted teeth.

"Oh god, you're not going to make her introduce herself are you? That's the worst!" A girl cried on the other side of the room.

"It's tradition!" He snapped.

"Tradition my ass," the girl snorted.

"That's a demerit young lady."

The girl groaned out loud.

"Aw crap." I'd later find out that her name was Yuna.

The babble around the room immediately faded away when there was a soft knock on the door. The teacher opened the door and greeted in a small black haired girl, wearing the school uniform.

She walked in and looked around timidly at the classroom, with a small friendly smile on her face. Her hair was short; about the same length I wore my hair before I outgrew it. Except it looked ten times better than mine did.

Her face was pale, the good kind of pale, as if she were permanently under the moonlight. Her heart shaped face rounded off in a pleasant way, complimented by the short black locks. All together she had this very endearing aura about her. It was almost bubbly and made you want to smile with her.

Her blue eyes danced around as she took in the classroom.

"Hi!" She waved to the class confidently. "I'm Xion!" She said before the teacher even told her to introduce herself.

"Now tell us Xion, where are you from?" The teacher shut the door and probed. The all looked at her curiously.

"Oh well I'm from Twilight…" She trailed off when her eyes fell on me, or at least I thought they were on me. "Roxas!"

And apparently I was wrong.

Everyone's eyes turned to Roxas, who was staring at her wide eyed with a shocked expression. I was partly pleased that there was some kind of reaction on his face and partly curious as to how she knew him.

Before anything was said or anything happened, the girl practically jumped him, wrapping her arms around him tightly, with a big grin on her face.

"Roxas! Ohmigosh! I haven't seen you in like forever!" She exclaimed, pulling away to admire him, only to reach back and hug him again. "You're so big!"

Roxas didn't say anything; he just sat there blinking with the same dazed expression on his face, as the girl clung to him harder.

The teacher cleared his throat awkwardly, pulling this girl out of her- uh- reunion?

"It seems that you know someone eh, Ms. Xion?"

"I'll say! The last time I saw Roxas, I was way taller than him. And look at him now!" She said amiably, hugging him again. I raised my eyebrow skeptically, when I noticed her hand squeeze his shoulder.

"Well I guess since you two know each other…Roxas, you will be showing Xion around school and to her classes." The teacher ordered, still trying to absorb the odd scene that happened. It's not everyday a new student comes to this school. And it isn't everyday, this said new student totally glomps another student.

The bell rang before the girl could take a seat anywhere. I got up and Roxas followed, along with the new girl. It was awkward I'll admit because I wasn't sure where my relationship with Roxas stood at this moment, and with this girl practically hanging on him, it just made things worse.

I tried to focus on other things, but it was proving to be quite difficult after hearing this girl talk.

"Hey Roxas why's this girl following us?" She probed, giving me a sideways glance. It wasn't a dirty look or anything, if anything it was curious, but it pissed the hell out of me.

"Oh, this is Kairi." Roxas said. I looked at his face for a moment his face flickered from the mask-like expression to pain. I averted my eyes guiltily.

"Hi Kairi!"She said cheerfully, reaching over to shake my hand. "I'm Xion! Oh well you already know that don't you!" She laughed. I let out a nervous chuckle, before pulling my hand back. "So how do you two know each other?"

I felt my face flush in humiliation, and my eyes glued to the floor.

The girl noticed my nervous pause. Her grin widened.

"Aw, c'mon! Tell me!"

I opened my mouth hesitantly. "Oh um well…we're uh- friends…and-" I stopped feeling my neck grow hot with shame. " And um… well-" But Roxas swiftly cut me off.

"I told her I was in love with her and she rejected me." He said pleasantly, with a wide fake smile. "For my cousin," He added spitefully. Roxas flashed me a dark smile, one that was definitely not his smile but a weird stranger's. Xion's smile widened.

I stopped dead in my tracks and shot him a mixture of a bewildered and hurt expression. I blushed, my eyes flickering from Roxas to Xion, completely mortified. How could he just say that to a…complete stranger?

"That's a good one Roxas. What else you got?" She asked playfully, looking at the both of us. Her smile slowly fell as she realized what he said was no joke.

His smirk grew more profound, and I felt like my chest was crumbling down. What the hell! What the hell was that! What right did he have to say that? I knew he was hurting, but I was hurting too. And as if I light bulb went off I realized he was doing this on purpose to hurt me. He _wanted_ to hurt me. My chest constricted again, and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

All those damn "I love you's" meant nothing to me at this moment. Screw his wannabe love. IF he loved me, he would want me to be happy right?

My lips parted and trembled against each other as I glowered at Roxas, absolutely seething now. I didn't care if he knew Xion, _I _didn't know her. I was shaking in anger, I wanted to blurt out I hated him again just for the heck of it, but I knew I'd regret it later.

"You're a real jerk, you know that Roxas," I spat, furiously. His smirk fell slightly and the pain flashed through his mask.

"Am I really? Am I the one who absolutely ripped out your heart and stomped on it, huh?" He snapped, his indifferent façade was breaking down. And I was witnessing the post-effects of the rejection. I'll admit I was terrified. Roxas looked like some kind of madman. His hands were in his hair, looking as if he wanted to rip it off his scalp.

"Quit being so melodramatic," I snarled. I slowly began to realize people in the hallways were stopping to look at our little quarrel.

"Um, I think we're going to be late for class…" Xion mumbled awkwardly in the background, staring at both of us wide eyed. We both disregarded her, glaring at each other with so much anger.

"You're the one who's being melodramatic, sighing every time you see me like you give a damn about me. You don't care! Weren't you the one who ran away from me last night?"

"I left," I said through gritted teeth, my hands were clenched into tight fists. "Because you were acting like a stupid asshole."

"Oh now I'm the asshole!" He laughed derisively, looking wildly around the crowd. "She's calling me an asshole! The girl who REJECTED ME is calling me an asshole! No I'm afraid it's you, who's the asshole Kairi."

My mouth fell open as my eyes took in the students staring at us shocked. I could feel my cheeks heat up in anger, humiliation, and embarrassment at Roxas for causing a scene. I wanted to slap him I really did, but I couldn't find it in myself to move my hand. I was still too shocked.

"I loved you and what did I get?" He asked furiously. I shook my head, before turning to walk away from him, but he clutched my shoulder and wheeled me around. His face was a few inches from mine, his expression hungry for answers. "What did I get Kairi! Huh? C'mon say it!"

I looked away from him, but he turned my head around to face him. My eyes were burning with angry tears. Roxas image was slowly blurring around the edges as tears started to build up.

"What do I get from you?"

"I hate you," I muttered coldly.

"What? I didn't hear you there."

"I HATE YOU!" I nearly screamed. Roxas laughed low satisfied cackle. Who was this guy and what did he do to my Roxas? I thought furiously, gazing at the monster in front of me. What have I done?

"Roxas, let her go."

I looked around until my eyes fell on Sora, who looked as furious as I felt. His blue eyes were narrowed in disgust and his brown eyebrows were arched in a low glare.

Roxas's hand fell from my shoulder. He clenched his jaw as he returned Sora's glare with so much hatred I literally thought he could have shot lasers through his eyes.

"Sora the savior has come to the rescue," Roxas sneered nastily. "Come to ruin my life even more?"

"You have no idea how many things I want to say to you right now!" Sora snarled, stepping forward to pull me away from Roxas. He wrapped a protective arm around me, and subtly pushed me behind him. I wiped my eyes hurriedly, before tugging on Sora's shirt.

"Sora…please, let's just go..." I started, but he pulled away to stand completely in front of me.

"You really made an asshole out of yourself, Roxas," He continued, taking a step forward. "Just because Kairi doesn't want to be with you, doesn't mean you have to make everyone around you as miserable as yourself. It's pathetic and low-"

It all happened so quickly, I- or anyone for that matter- didn't know how to react. One minute Roxas and Sora were glaring at each other, then next they were on the floor wresting each other as if they were born enemies. The people that were originally watching Roxas and I, crowded around us and started chanting the typical 'fight, fight, fight'.

Finally, sluggishly, my reactions hit. They were both fighting…over me. I remember when I was younger I thought two boys fighting over me would have actually been amusing, but this was totally not what was expected.

The guilt drowned me as I realized I pitted these two cousins against each other. Me.

"Stop!" I screamed. "Stop it, both of you!"

Roxas and Sora rolled on the floor, fighting to be on top of the other to get a clear shot. Roxas was on top, and his knuckle collided with Sora's face, I heard Sora let out a loud gasp, before trying to pry Roxas off of him.

"Roxas, stop it!" I yelled, trying to push him off. Roxas hesitated for a moment when he heard my pleas, and at this moment Sora took this opportunity to knock him off and fly on top of him to land a few punches on him. This was actually the opposite effect I wanted. I thought Sora would have stopped. Boys are stupid, I finally decided.

"Sora! You're not supposed to…ugh! Stop it, stop fighting! Grow up both of you!" My hands ran through my hair, looking wildly at the crowd, who all seemed to be laughing and jeering. I looked over at Xion who was staring at them, white faced completely frightened. "Go get help!" I demanded, pushing her through the crowd.

I attempted to pry them away from each other again only resulting in being elbowed in the face, by Sora, and shoved by Roxas. I could taste the blood on my lip and I knew it was busted. Great.

I sunk to the floor watching them fighting, feeling absolutely helpless. They weren't listening. It was as if they were in their own world.

"Alright break it up break it up," boomed the P.E teachers voice. The crowd parted instantly. I glanced over my shoulder to find a group of teachers (even the freaking principle), closely accompanied by a freaked out Xion rushing over to the scuffling boys.

With the help of two of the male teachers, both the boys were separated, angrily trying to swipe at each other. I sprang up from my seat to observe both of their injuries. Sora's nose was bleeding profusely, and Roxas left eye was swelling up. They weren't hurt that badly, although Sora was rushed to the nurse, only because it looked like he was going to faint from looking at all of that blood.

x.X.x

"I should suspend the both of you for fighting on school grounds," the principle huffed angrily, shuffling his papers behind his desk. All four of us were in the principle's office, Me, Roxas, Sora and Xion. I stood at the back of the room with Xion watching the two boys listening to principle. "But you both have proved to be good boys, which makes the situation more confusing. I just don't understand why."

Sora spoke up. "Sir, Kairi was-"

"Ah, so it has to do with a girl. Tut tut, boys, I thought you would know better than to fight over silly things like that." He said softly, wearing a small smile.

Both Sora and Roxas looked away. The principle looked between the two of them sympathetically.

"I really don't want to suspend either one of you." He admitted, dropping his papers. "You both are good students and it'd be shame." He pulled out two papers from the pile he was shuffling through, handing one to each of them. "So I'm putting both of you in detention, everyday afterschool, for an hour until the end of the semester."

He was really cutting them slack. I mean the semester was over in a few weeks. I really wanted to tell him to make it next semester too, but I kept my mouth shut.

As if reading my resenting thoughts, the principles eyes flickered to meet my gaze.

"Also Miss Kairi, I think it'd be best for a schedule change, don't you think?" He asked me, although it was an order. "I feel that it's necessary to be separated from both boys until they can cool off about their situation concerning you."

I felt my face flush, and I knew I was blushing deeply, as I nodded.

"Alright, I'm dismissing all of you from school." The principle said automatically. "Cool off. Detention starts tomorrow. Kairi, you should go home too, you've probably been through a lot hmm? And Miss Xion, you can go home as well, I know you must be thinking this school is crazy, but I can assure this is not how we run things here at Destiny high."

"I sure hope not!" Xion exclaimed exasperatedly. The principle offered a small kind smile.

"Well I'll see all of you tomorrow morning. Kairi stop by the office before homeroom for your schedule change."

x.X.x

I'll admit that was the most…uh, eventful, embarrassing, and terrible day of school of my entire life. I was seriously dreading the next day of school. Even as I left, people were whispering. I knew I was going to be the hot topic of school tomorrow. Great.

I trudged home, feeling down in the dumps. I wasn't talking to Roxas, as if I would ever. I still couldn't believe how things led to that. What was wrong with him? When I rejected him, I honestly thought he would move on. I didn't expect my plan to backlash me. I tried replaying the scene in my head and for one eerie second I believed that he had planned this whole thing out for revenge. No, he wouldn't do that. He's Roxas…. No. Now that I really thought about it, he could have, he would have. This new person, was not Roxas.

And I knew I'd be filled with eternal regret because of that.

I wasn't talking to Sora either. After we walked out of the principle's office, he tried to talk to me….

"Kairi! Are you ok?" Was the first thing out of his mouth. I glared at him, before turning and walking away.

"Kairi, hey Kairi! C'mon you know I didn't start it!" Sora pleaded, grabbing my hand and clutching it in his.

"And you didn't end it." I spat, snatching my hand away.

"What did you expect? I wasn't going to sit back and let him harass you like that." He said, reaching for my hand again.

"That's not the point," I snapped angrily, trying to walk faster. "I was worried ok? I didn't want either of you to get hurt over me, it's just stupid. I know Roxas is bitter about me…and you, but that didn't give you a reason to encourage him."

"I'm sorry Kairi," Sora said sincerely, flashing me an innocent look. I rolled my eyes and scoffed. He wrapped his arms around me and tried to lean in for a kiss.

"Sora not now!" I said irritably, pushing him away from me. I stalked off without turning back to look at him, although I could feel his miserable eyes on me.

I hadn't been his girlfriend for a day, and we already had our first fight.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair as I walked down the sidewalk to the street I lived on. My head was bursting and I was starting to see little black splotches in my vision. I was overstressed. Too many things to worry about, my already rocky relationship with Sora, Roxas's monster attitude towards me, the new girl, Xion, stupid Riku and his stupid hormones and Namine's weird sickness.

Namine, that's right I was going to visit her. I sighed; my bed was starting look more pleasing than going to visit Namine.

But true to my own word, I decided against the nap, and called Namine up. I prayed that it would be her picking up the phone and not her mom. If it was her mom I was going to hang up as soon as she answered.

"Hello?"

"Namine!" I exclaimed, thoroughly relieved.

"Kairi…" Namine said; there was something in her voice that told me something was wrong. Definitely wrong.

"Did your mom tell you I came over this morning?" I asked.

"No."

"Hmm, well I was thinking…could I come over now? I mean… I don't think your mom wants me-"

"Please." Her voice choked on the other line. "Please… come. Now."

"I'll be right over."

x.X.x

The door opened and Namine's mother answered the door looking very disgruntled with my presence.

"Namine told me you were coming," Her mother sniffed, looking at me with disapproval in her eyes. "She's grounded, so I'm giving you five minutes."

"Grounded? I thought she was sick!"

"Whatever." Her mom waved me off dismissively, before I ran upstairs to Namine's bedroom. I opened the door in a rush not knowing what exactly to expect.

Namine waiting for me on her bed, her shoulders hunched over, looking crestfallen. I noticed immediately that she was sketchbook free. My stomach churned painfully at this. Guess, my mom was right. She was always right. Ugh.

Once Namine heard the door snap open, she rose to her feet and turned to look at me. I almost flinched. If I ever called her pale before I was wrong. Her face was wax-like and completely corpse-looking. Her blue eyes were bloodshot, contrasting very badly with the dark bruise-like shadows beneath her eyes. Her blond hair, which was always well taken care of, looked like just rolled out of bed. Now that I think about it, she probably did, she was still in her PJ's.

"N-Namine," I croaked. She winced slightly at the mention of her name, as if she hated her name. She wrapped one arm around herself defensively.

Before anything else was said, I closed the bedroom and locked it, before her mom could eavesdrop. I felt my heart drop at the fact that Namine was here, looking like a… a zombie.

I gulped audibly, shaking my head slightly before taking a step closer to.

"Namine," I repeated a little firmer. "You look…um terrible."

She blinked at me, blankly, before turning away to look out the window. I stood by the door watching her carefully.

"Namine, what is it?" I asked cautiously, observing her every move. When she finally turned back to look at me, her desolate expression caused my stomach to flop in a bad way. A bad feeling crept over me. Like that feeling you get when you see a dead animal on the street.

Namine's gaze was unwavering as she uttered the words that would change my outlook on her forever.

"I broke up with him."

**DUN DUN DUH! Cliffhanger? Only if your interested in Namine's situation i suppose.**

**lol Im going to update sometime this week. It's a promise of a lifetime, believe it!  
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	26. Chapter 25

**My Reviewers! It's 3:30 am right now, my eyes are bloodshot and I have a major headache and my parents are yelling at me to get off the computer. Despite these facts I am completely and utterly happy! I've updated in a 3 day span, I don't think I've done that in a long time! :O (be amazed)**

**I'm like really sleepy, so I'm keeping this short.**

**Enjoy :D**

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"Yesterday…I broke up with him." She whispered simply, her eyes dropping down to the floor. Her dark blond eyebrows knitted together, and her lips trembled into a painful grimace.

"Oh, Namine," I sighed, reaching out and pulling her into a tight hug. She didn't return the hug, but instead let her head fall limply on my shoulder. I could feel her body shake against mine and her silent sobs against my shoulder; my shirt was starting to get wet. "It's ok; you don't need that big jerk in your life."

She replied with an audible cry.

"I didn't want to" Her voice came out into a muffled whimper. "I didn't want to break up with him. I feel like I made a mistake."

"You needed to," I said firmly, stroking her long blonde locks. "You did the right thing."

I felt her pull away from me to stare at me full on. Her eyes were watery, her wax-like face stained with red blotches from the tears.

"I-I…," Her face twisted in pain, vaguely reminding me of Roxas's expression earlier. "I _love_ him." She said miserably.

I had to blink a couple of times, and I seriously considered sticking a finger in my ear to see if I'd heard correctly.

"W-what?" I muttered.

"I love him." She repeated.

I stared at her incredulously. Did hell freeze over or what? I shook my head to clear my thoughts.

"You don't," I said rationally. Her face scrunched up in pain when I said that, and she turned her face away from mine.

"I do, Kairi! I do" She cried, bringing her hands to her face to try to brush away the oncoming tears. I stared at her with a mixture of pity and frustration. What the hell did Riku do to her? How and when did he turn her into this pathetic lovesick girl? I felt my blood boil.

"You can't seriously think that," I said.

She didn't respond.

I sighed loudly and reached for her again.

"Namine, you can't love someone who's always hurting you," I reasoned.

"Roxas can," She snapped, pulling herself away from my arms. "I can too."

I felt my body stiffen uncomfortably at her comment. Roxas. My throat went dry, and my chest constricted in that same agonizing pain that always made it harder for me to breathe. I was still angry at him yes, but I still was saddened by his pain. I knew he was in pain because of me. Pain pain pain, why is it that that's the word I've been associated myself with lately?

My mind snapped back towards the blond standing in front of me as I heard her sigh.

"Don't go there Namine." I said suddenly, finding my voice, trying to hide the despair that was dripping on my tongue. Namine's head turned halfway over her shoulder to study me.

Her watery blue eyes fell in shame.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled, turning away and wrapping both arms around herself. "I didn't mean to- I mean I know that's a sensitive subject."

"Yeah well, we're talking about you, not me." I pressed, taking a step closer to her and putting my hand on her shoulder. She flinched slightly, but relaxed under my hand. "Talk to me, please."

Namine looked down, and then back at me, her eyes narrowing slightly.

"You're bleeding." She said simply. I blinked at her confusedly, as she reached up and brushed her thumb against my mouth. She stared at her finger before raising it up to show me. Sure enough there was a little red stain on the tip of her pale finger.

Subconsciously, I licked my lips and tasted that familiar rusty flavor.

"Oh, bugger, thought I'd gotten the last of it," I mumbled to myself.

"Why are you bleeding?"

I peeked up at her expression. It no longer had that desperate look in her eye, but now there was nothing in it's place. Her gaze was well- dead. Completely dead. I felt my stomach prickle as looking at Namine reminded me of someone else.

She was still staring at me expectantly, while I was gaping at her stupidly.

"Um, well there was a fight at school, and I kind of got caught in the middle, but I didn't really get hurt." I muttered quickly.

"Why were you fighting?" She asked me, if I listened hard enough I could have sworn I heard a hint of displeasure in her tone.

"It wasn't me it was- look, that's not important right now. Are you going to tell me what happened Namine?" I asked stubbornly.

"I already told you… I-I broke up with him." She replied shakily. I could see the dead mask she was wearing slowly crumble away. I clutched her hand, as her walls were slipping.

"How did it happen?"

She didn't object when I closed the gap between us and wrapped an arm around her. In fact she returned the hug and buried her face into my shoulder.

"The night of the party, when I came over to your house," She started hesitantly. The sorrow was laying in thick on her voice now. "I didn't… I didn't tell you everything."

Yeah, figured as much, I thought. I didn't voice out my thoughts, but continued to stare at the top of her blond head.

"Tell me now," I urged, tightening my hold on her. I went over to her bed, sat at the edge and motioned her to sit too. She took a seat next to me, and let out a low quaky breath.

"At the party, I saw Riku talking with a girl," She mumbled. "I didn't really think much of it because well they were just talking. But then I began to realize the fact that Riku was- um- flirting with her. They were real close to each other. I don't think the girl noticed, maybe she did, I don't know. But I started to get mad and walk towards them, but then the two of them started to fight and I stayed back.

"I'm trying to remember what they said," She pulled away, and knitted her eyebrows together in deep thought. "Riku looked really angry and she just looked annoyed for some reason."

"'I didn't come for you' that's what I heard her say, or something along those lines," Namine continued. "'Then why did you come?' Riku said that. The girl just crossed her arms and said something like 'Why do you care? It doesn't matter,' And then Riku looked like he was having some sort of tantrum. He threw his hands up in the air and said 'It does matter because I missed you.' And something like ' there isn't a day that goes by that you don't cross my mind.' When I heard him say that I knew something was wrong. This whole picture was wrong. Where did I fit in?"

Namine stopped suddenly, her hands reaching up to brush her face clean of any tears. She sniffled a couple of times before continuing.

"That was when the girl said 'Get over it. I can't believe you're still moping.' She walked away and left Riku there, so I took that opportunity to- to well confront him. He saw me and the next thing I knew he was dragging me outside by the wrist. Once we got outside he attacked me- not literally Kairi don't freak out now- it was embarrassing, there were people everywhere just looking at us. I told him to stop and tried to pull him away from me, but he just pushed me back. I got scared Kairi, you should have heard the things he was mumbling under his breath. I seriously thought he was going to- never mind- anyway I tried to get away and that's where I got these." She pulled out her arms in front of her, showing off the purple bruises.

"It was just a little struggle…" She murmured, mostly to herself. I grimaced and opened my mouth to speak. She noticed my expression and quickly shushed me. "It's ok Kairi, I know he didn't mean it. Are you going to let me finish?"

I closed my mouth stubbornly and nodded my head.

"So that's when I ran into you, and got into an argument with Sora- I should apologize- and then I came over to your house. The next morning my mom yelled at me because I forgot to call. I think she thinks you're my accomplice or something." She looked at me, and gave me an apologetic glance.

I grimaced.

"I was in my room the whole day. My parents left the house to go and have dinner- don't ask, they do that every Sunday, you know that- so I was left alone. During that day Riku showed up. I didn't let him in because- well I was still mad, but after awhile I let him in- Kairi what? Stop looking at me like that- I missed him. He apologized and went off about how much he regretted what he did to me, and how much he cares. So I forgave him, and we hugged and-"

"Ugh, too much information," I groaned, grimacing.

"And then I remembered the girl from the party and asked him about it. He told me he had no idea what I was talking about. We started arguing. I didn't understand why he would try to hide something from me. And that's when a thought hit me; he's cheating on me. So I accused him of that, and he started laughing, telling me I was crazy. It was all very confusing. One minute we were arguing the next he was yelling a few inches from my face. And then he tried to act as if nothing happened by trying to kiss me and push my boundaries. Kairi, we were still on the front porch where people could see!" Namine cried, putting her hands in her face again.

I gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

"It's ok, it's ok," I murmured softly.

"No, it wasn't ok! Your mom saw us, she practically had to run up and pull him off of me. I was completely mortified!"

"My mom saw you!" I cried out, feeling just as embarrassed as she sounded. That's why she was so intrusive last night. I scolded myself for trying to give my mom the one-up when she knew everything, even more than I did.

"Yes! She called my parents and kept Riku there." Namine said in a quivered voice. "After that it was a real blur, I remember Riku and I arguing again, my parents showing up, my mom giving me this- this disgusted look. Oh god you have no idea how humiliating that was Kairi. She probably thinks I'm some kind of- of whore."

Namine's shoulder's hunched over, and she started to break down. Her tears were streaming freely down her cheeks and she was attempting to brush them away anymore.

"Your mom doesn't think that," I tried to say over her whimpering but she shook her head furiously.

"She hasn't talked to me at all today," She stammered. "She won't even look at me! At least Dad has the decency to acknowledge me!"

"As if that wasn't enough, Riku just laughed at me, saying I would regret what I did. That's when I realized _I broke up with him_. I don't remember ever saying those words, but I really did. And I cried all day after that…I haven't talked to him since. But I miss him so much," She whimpered.

"Namine, it's going to be ok," I said, patting her shoulder in a reassuring way. She shook her head.

"It hurts Kairi, so much. It hurts me that my mom is acting this way. It hurts to even think about Riku now. It hurts to be with him and know that he may have been sneaking around my back, but it's killing me not being with him right now. I feel like I'm having an asthma attack every time I breathe so I try to take my inhaler, but it doesn't work. Nothing works Kairi. I don't know what to do, I really don't."

"It'll get better," I promised uncertainly. What did I know? The closest thing I could compare this situation was Roxas but it still didn't sound as bad as Namine's predicament.

"When will it get better? I feel like I can't be with him but then I feel like I can't be without him. I'm stuck." She sniffed, coming back into my arms.

We stayed like that for quite a while, Namine crying on my shoulder while I held her. It surprised me, Namine's mom didn't interrupt or anything. I knew she was really concerned for her daughter as well… Tch yeah right.

What the hell was her problem? What kind of sane parent would treat their daughter that way, regardless of what they did? I seriously felt like marching downstairs and giving her a piece of my mind, then hitch hiking to that bastards stupid house and beating the crap out of him.

I looked down at Namine with a sigh. I didn't really know how to comfort her. I'd never been in her situation; being in love with an egotistical, hormonal, two-timing, pervert, with a cold heartless mother.

Namine moved closer to me.

"Kairi, thanks," She whispered. "I know you're probably tired of hearing me talking about my problems…and him."

I rolled my eyes.

"It's ok, what are friends for?"

Another moment of silence passed, but it wasn't as awkward as the beginning of our conversation, when I first saw zombie Namine. Namine, looked, slightly better, the dead expression wasn't as evident as it was before. I cleared my throat trying to lighten up the atmosphere.

"You know; there's a new student at school," I said trying to start a conversation.

"Mmm?" Namine mumbled. I looked down and realized she was sleeping.

"Sorry- never mind." I said quickly.

"No it's ok. A new student really?" She probed. "Who?"

"Well her name's Xion, she's from Twilight Town." I continued. "I think you'll like her."

"Really?" She yawned. "What does she look like?"

"Well she's got short black hair- kind of like how I had it, and blue eyes, she's kind of short, really pale," I noticed as I was talking Namine's body stiffen against mine uncomfortably. "Is something wrong?"

She blinked and stared straight ahead, her mouth falling slightly open.

"Namine?" I pressed. She shook her head coming to her senses.

"No, no it's nothing,." She murmured to herself. "Just a coincidence, that's it."

x.X.x

Namine told me I should go home before her mom kicked me out. I can't say I objected, but I was still a little worried about Namine. She offered me a reassuring smile but I could clearly tell it was forced.

"Am I going to see you at school tomorrow?" I asked hopefully. Her smile slid off her face.

"I don't know, maybe."

I took that as I no, but I still hoped for the best. On the way downstairs, I ran into her mom who just glared at me spitefully. I shot her an even nastier look before I let myself out.

I sighed loudly as I walked down the sidewalk to my house. What was I going to do? What _should_ I do? About Namine, about Riku, about Sora and about Roxas. It seemed as if everything surrounding me was slowly falling apart; my friendship with Roxas especially.

"I don't know what to do," I finally mumbled to myself, before wrenching open the front door and walking inside. I saw my mom look over at me lazily, a bag of potato chips on her lap and the remote in her hand.

"You're home early," She commented.

"You are too; shouldn't you be at work," I said defensively, throwing my bag on the couch and flopping next to her. I stole the potato chips from her, and aggressively stuck my hand in. I noticed her eye me suspiciously.

"Shouldn't you be at school" she retorted.

"Touché," I snapped, throwing the bag at her. She rolled her eyes, turning her attention back to the t.v. It was a meow mix commercial. I felt a stab of guilt as I saw the cats dancing for the food bag; Figaro. It's been such a long time since he's crossed my mind. It's funny; my problems back then seemed so trivial compared to the present. When all I had to worry about was my stupid crush on Sora. I sighed shaking my head. Everything turned to hell after that.

"I can't believe you would do that!" I blurted out suddenly, flipping around so I was facing my mom fully. She flicked her eyes off the t.v and on me.

"Do what?" She probed innocently. I grimaced, jumping up from her seat.

"Do that to Namine, she's humiliated and on top of that heartbroken! How could you do that to her?" I snarled.

"All I did was stop that boy from attacking her, Kairi, calm down," She replied coolly. I ran a hand through my auburn hair, giving up because it was all tangled. "What would you have wanted me do, just let him have his way with her?"

I felt my face flush in anger.

"NO! Of course not! But you didn't have to bring her bloody parents into the picture!" I yelled.

"They have a right to know," She said coldly. I briefly saw the authority glare flash between her eyes and I knew I should have stopped then, but I couldn't. It was all coming out like word vomit. "What their daughter has been associating herself with."

"Stop talking about her like she's some- some kind of-" I struggled with my words as I caught my mom's eyebrows raise. "Look, you don't even know half of what she's going through right now, so just-"

"You're right I don't. Neither does her parents. But apparently you do, as her friend don't you think it's your obligation to say something?" My mom said; I could clearly hear that persuasive tone in her voice and it only aggravated me more.

"She wouldn't want me to say anything. Besides it's not in my place to tell," I said stubbornly, crossing my arms over my chest.

"There's a big difference between what a person wants and what they need," My mom said seriously. And suddenly I felt as if her comment was attacking _me_ personally. I fumbled with my words trying to come up with a retort but my mind was an angry confusing bubble.

"Oh what do you know?" I sneered.

"Just do the right thing Kairi," She said, her voice lowering a few decibels, I had to strain to hear it. I sighed and shook my head wearily.

"I don't know what it is you people want me to do anymore." I stammered. Suddenly I wasn't really directing my words towards my mom.

"You guys think I'm so great and such, but I'm not! I don't know what to do with Namine! Or with Roxas! I hate that everyone thinks I'm the bad person! I already know I am, I don't need you or anyone else telling me that I'm not a good friend. I'm human, I'm just an ordinary girl; I can't do all these amazing things. I can't solve problems between two people or fight off every bully that comes in contact with Namine. I'm tired Mom, I'm tired of trying to please everyone. It's- it's sickening. Every time I try to think of myself first, even just for a brief moment, the world just comes crashing down my shoulders. It hurts me, to see all the damage I've done to everyone around me; with Namine and Roxas. I don't know what to do! It seems as if everyone's problems always revert back to me, adding to more of my own problems!"

I was out of breath when I finished my little speech. I looked over at my mom who was just staring at me wide-eyed, her mouth wide open. I stared at her expectantly, waiting for some kind of response.

Finally, after a few seconds of staring, my mom's mouth closed slightly, before opening again.

"Who's Roxas?"

I think I literally fell over and face palmed.

x.X.x

The next day of school- as predicted- was dreadful. The first downside was my new schedule. I mean it wasn't really different; it was just the damn office ladies that were giving me trouble (snooty booty coffee addicted bitches). I still had the same homeroom, first and second period, but afterwards everything was different. It went something like this English, Math, Biology, Art (hehe, no more P.E), Geography, and Chinese (I still had academic support for seventh). All in all, it wasn't a bad schedule; later on I'd realize that I practically had all of my classes with Namine with the exception of homeroom.

Anyway, the dreadful thing about today was all the whispering. I swear first period was barely going to start, and I'd already started hearing gossip along the lines of _"Oh look it's Kairi!" "Isn't like Roxas in love with her?" "That bitch she turned my future boyfriend down!" "She's with Sora right… or is it Roxas?" "She's screwing both, what a whore!"_

I tried to block most of it out, they were mostly the stupid fan girls that were spreading rumors but it still hurt.

When I walked into the English classroom I was surprised to see the familiar blond, sitting in her seat. I walked carefully between the desks and sat next to her.

"Hey, you came," I said cheerfully. She smiled back, unnaturally large.

"Yeah, can't miss school over some stupid reason can I?" She laughed, nudging my shoulder slightly. I arched my brow and stared at her worriedly. Out of the corner of my eye I caught Riku glaring over at us.

"Uh…" I didn't know how to respond to that. "Um right."

A few minutes before the tardy bell would ring the door opened again to reveal a spiky brunette boy and windswept blond boy. I felt my heart thump rapidly, although I couldn't understand for what reason exactly as I was staring at both of them.

Sora caught my eye, his eyebrows pulled together before he looked away. Instantly I felt the guilt drown me. My eyes flickered over to the blond that walked in behind him. His head was bowed and he refused to look at anyone. Closely on his heels was the black haired new girl. She had a large uncertain smile on her face. Her blue eyes kept flashing between Roxas and Sora, as if she were considering they'd go off on each other again.

Roxas took a seat on the opposite end of the room, the black haired girl following his every step. Sora on the other hand, took the seat next to mine. He was pouting.

"Kairi," he started, twiddling with his fingers. "I'm… I just feel really bad about yesterday. I even talked to Roxas about it- well I tried to, and I'm really sorry."

His head drooped a little. I sighed audibly, before taking one his hand in mine.

"I know you're sorry, and even if I'm still a little mad- well not so much anymore- I forgive you," I said softly. His head snapped up and he was grinning that goofy smile at me. I couldn't help but smile back. He leaned in to press his lips against mine but I stopped him suddenly. He shot me a puzzled stare.

"Ah, you're still punished though," I murmured smugly, turning away.

"But- but you forgave me."

"Doesn't mean I want to kiss you."

"Aw Kairiii!" He complained.

I laughed inwardly and tried to keep a straight face. My eyes wandered over to the person sitting on my other side. I almost half expected Namine to tease me or at least question my behavior with Sora. I still hadn't told her about our relationship yet.

But when I looked at her, she was completely staring at the opposite direction- no let me rephrase that- she was staring in _Riku's _direction. I felt like smacking her right side across the head to make her turn her attention away but I stopped once I saw how her eyes widened, and how watery they were beginning to look.

Her lips trembled and her face grew ghostly pale. My eyes followed hers to land on the bastard himself. He was running a hand through his silver hair, as he casually got up from his seat- as if he nothing happened, as if he just didn't break my best friend's heart. I felt like jumping from my seat and pouncing on him. I didn't care if the teacher would see.

He walked over to where Roxas and the new girl were sitting. She was smiling at Roxas, occasionally reaching forward and ruffling his blond hair. Roxas just turned away indifferently. Riku approached them, wearing a smooth smirk.

"Hey Xion," He said leaning on her table. Immediately her smile faded into a deep annoyed frown. She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Oh. You again," She mumbled to herself. There was something about her body language that sparked curiosity inside of me. Usually girls, with the first time of meeting Riku, would drool over him, not shun him away. Well, with the exception of myself, only because I knew him from elementary.

"Yes, me." He said, widening his smirk. He leaned in closer to her. "Listen I was thinking if- I don't know- maybe you wanted to go-"

"No, I don't want to. I don't want to do _anything_ with you Riku." Xion said angrily, fully turning away. Ok apparently this wasn't their first time meeting. If Xion was childhood friends with Roxas then who's to say she wasn't with Riku or Sora. How did they know each other?

I could see his back tense up.

"Just give me another chance, c'mon, like old times." He said sweetly, reaching out and brushing a strand of her black hair gently. She pulled her head away, turned and glared with so much hatred.

"No! It's over, it's _been_ over for two years." She snapped. Roxas finally turned his attention to Riku, looking between him and Xion carelessly. "When are you going to get it through your thick stupid head that I don't like you?"

Riku opened his mouth to speak again, but something else caught my attention; the scraping of a chair. I turned around to see Namine get up from her seat and storm out of the classroom. I leapt from my seat to follow her when the tardy bell rang. Before I even reached the door, the teacher blocked my way.

"Sit down, you're mine now!" She snapped, ushering me to my seat.

Sora looked at me questioningly as I sat down, fuming. He followed my gaze to Riku who was winking at Xion who looked utterly repulsed. Sora rolled his eyes at the two of them and gave me an I'll-tell-later expression.

Half an hour had passed by, I noted, as my eyes were glued to the clock. And Namine still hadn't shown up. Somehow during the period I got permission to go to the bathroom, figuring that's where Namine ran off to. I didn't even have to open the door all the way to know that my suspicion was true.

Namine sat on the floor, her knees curled up against her chest and her back leaning against the bathroom wall. When she looked up at me with her red puffy eyes, I felt my intestines twist painfully. I sat down next to her.

We both stayed silent for a long time. I occasionally peeked at her expression. She was glaring at the tile floor of the bathroom, her nails scratching against it, making a squeaky noise.

Finally after what felt like hours I spoke.

"You shouldn't have come today." I mumbled. She didn't say anything.

"It's her." She whispered.

"What?"

"It's her. That's the girl from the party."

"Xion?"

"Yes her, whatever _her_ name is!" She snapped.

I paused thoughtfully, before chuckling.

"You think he was cheating on you with her?" I asked in disbelief. "I doubt it; she doesn't seem like that type of girl."

"How can you say that? He was openly flirting with her!"

"Probably to make you jealous…which worked." I added sourly. "Besides I don't think she was too fond of him."

"They know each other, somehow, I have a feeling," She said bitterly. "He loves her…"

"Namine you're in denial, just relax, breathe!"

"Don't tell me to relax! I can see it in his eyes! He's never once looked at me like that. He looked at her with- I don't know- this weird passion, and they've only seen each other for a few minutes at the party and the most I've got out of him was I don't know this perverted stare!"

"He stares at all girls like that," I pointed out stubbornly. Namine shook her head fervently.

"Not with her, ugh it was disgusting to watch. I feel like I'm interrupting something private!"

I opened my mouth. I really wanted to tell her that she was crazy but I held my tongue. This was not what she needed at this moment. I sighed. What was I supposed to tell her?

I stayed quiet and wrapped an arm around her. She was quiet too, but I think for a entirely different reason. I tried to picture myself in her situation. How would I feel?

But I couldn't. I couldn't possibly find myself in love with a prick like Riku…blah.

Luckily I didn't have to, the bell rang. I jumped in shock as I realized we spent like half an hour in the bathroom. Crap. Crap. Crap. I looked around me and remembered I left my stuff in the classroom, along with Namine's belongings.

We both walked out of the bathroom, preparing for the worst kind of detention with the teacher. But to my shock and relief, Sora came into view, looking really bulky. When he got closer I realized he was hauling both of our bags, along with his, over his shoulder.

He smiled at me, handing us our bags.

"You just left- oh you should've heard the teacher, she kept muttering to herself saying this was the last time she was going to let a student use the bathroom," He laughed. He stretched out his arms, before pulling me into a surprising hug. I felt my face flush, as I noticed Namine pointedly averted her gaze.

She cleared her throat looking as awkward as ever. Sora released me and turned his attention to Namine. His face blank.

"Thank you," Namine mumbled quietly. "And I'm sorry."

She turned and walked away. Sora and I stared after her, when I turned my attention back to him; I noticed his gaze was on her still on her with a solemn expression. I looked away feeling as if I caught him doing something he shouldn't have been doing.

x.X.x

"So are you going to tell me who this Xion girl is?" I asked, looking up at him. We were on the bleachers, during lunch, sitting unusually close to each other. Well it would have been unusual a couple of days ago before we became a couple.

"Someone's awfully nosy today!" He teased, leaning down to my face but I pushed him away.

"Still punished," I reminded in a sing-song voice. His eyebrows furrowed and his lips fell into a pout.

"Still not funny! Why can't I kiss my own girlfriend!" He asked, before attempting another kiss. I turned my face so that his lips pressed against my freezing cheek. Instantly that spot warmed up.

"So anyway," I continued as if this whole kiss thing never happened. "What's up with Xion and Riku?"

Sora's pout turned into a genuine concerned frown. His grip around me, loosened considerably and he was staring down at his lap.

"What is it that bad?" I asked, half joking.

"Well remember how I moved here in seventh grade?" I nodded my head. "So before that I lived in Twilight town with Roxas- we lived on the same street. Anyway, Roxas and I grew up in Twilight town, so we'd hang out with the other kids down the block. Xion happened to be one of the kids we played with. One of the days we were all playing, we first met Riku. He was visiting an aunt there, but he lived on Destiny Islands. We all became fast friends and grew close to one another. When I moved to Destiny Islands, every weekend my family would go to Twilight town to visit, and I'd bring Riku along. Riku- I guess took a liking to Xion, although she had no idea at the time, so she'd always be following Roxas around. She still is quite fond of him." At this, Sora flashed me a furtive glance before continuing.

"Somehow Riku finally told Xion how he felt and the two started to go out. It was really weird at first because Riku was so attached to her and all she wanted to do was play with all of us. Eventually she came around and she began to like him too. So their relationship only strengthened I guess. But Xion always had a problem with Riku bullying other boys, particularly the boys that talked to Xion. She got fed up once and for all once Riku threatened her little brother- which was really odd, but then again he didn't know it was her little brother- and she ended things with him. Something changed in Riku, I mean he's still the same flirt from before but now I don't think he cares about girls or his own feelings."

I stared at Sora and something bitter flashed through his eyes.

"That's why it was such a shock when he and Namine were going out. It's just…. Well I knew things weren't going to turn out well. To this day, I think Xion is the only girl Riku's ever- well liked and Namine was just… a distraction."

"She was," I agreed, looking away from him. I felt sick to my stomach just hearing all of that. So was that really it, Riku was just using her. I knew it. I looked over at Sora and how his expression looked deep in thought.

Somewhere in my gut, as much as I hated to admit it, I knew that Namine should have chosen this boy that was sitting next to me. Imagine how happy she would have been if she had chose Sora over Riku?

But then where would that have left me. Oh that's right; miserable in the background, watching my best friend and my crush fall in love.

"_Listen to that little ol' heart of yours. It knows what its doing."_

Yeah, look where that's gotten me.

x.X,x

Namine couldn't handle being at school the rest of the day. She left home early, leaving me alone. I couldn't blame her; I mean that jerk was practically thrusting himself all over Xion. Sora's words rang through my ears as I saw Riku staring at Xion intensely during class.

"_To this day, I think Xion is the only girl Riku's ever- well liked and Namine was just… a distraction."_

What was going to happen to Namine? What was she going to do now?

My heart ached for my best friend and it was the first time that Roxas didn't cross my mind at all.

**Dun Dun Duh!**

**Oh Nooooes Kairi! O_O' Next chapter will either be Roxas/Kairi interaction (highly doubt it though, it's still too soon) or Kairi and Sora's first OFFICIAL date... something like that T_T' Tah, tah for now!**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!  
**


	27. Chapter 26

**Oh my god, I updated. It's late again. My parents are yelling at me to get off again. xP But I'm not listening (I'm such a rebel!) So I'm going to keep this short again. Well this chapter is...blah, think of it was a filler chapter w/ a few important details, kay? I was like half-asleep when writing this, so there may be a butt load of errors (too lazy to reread)  
**

**Also for those of you who are not aware, I've posted up the POV drabble's I talked about before. So if you're interested go check it out ;D**

**Enjoy:::**

**I DON'T OWN KH blah...wish i did though  
**

x.X.x

"Now class we're going to be welcoming to new students to this art classroom, I want you to give them your biggest, warmest welcome!" The teacher said to the class, gesturing towards me and to Namine's dismay Xion. I caught her look down at her easel pointedly, ignoring the black haired girl beside me.

The teacher pushed me forwards to introduce myself, even when I tried explaining to her that I wasn't exactly new to the school. I scowled at the teacher, before walking forward to say my name.

"I'm Kairi…uh I think I know most of you though," I said, looking around the classroom. Sure enough, most of these people were familiar faces, like Tidus, Seifer's posse minus the crackhead himself, Wakka and a few other people.

Immediately after I was finished, whispering broke out in the classroom. Ugh, more rumor mill, I thought angrily. Namine's head poked up in surprise as she caught snippets of what the people- mostly girls- were saying. She flashed me an incredulous and sympathetic expression. I rolled my eyes, looking away.

I hurried over and planted myself in the empty seat next to Namine, wrapping my bag behind my seat and hiding behind the easel.

"What the hell are they saying Kairi?" She asked furiously, glaring at the group of girls were glowering back at me.

"Just ignore it," I mumbled.

"Kairi do you _hear_ what they're saying?" She asked, her hands were clenched and she was shaking in anger. "Do something!"

I turned to look at her; I mean _really_ look at her. The sight made my heart clench. Her blond hair that was usually groomed was a tousled mess. The ghostly pale tone of her skin still haunted her face and those shadows under her eyes were more prominent than yesterday. But what was worse was her usual joyful eyes were empty, completely empty.

I knew the scolding she was giving me was halfhearted; I knew she didn't even have the energy to scold me. Her eyes clearly spelled it out for me. I felt completely hopeless as I stared back at her pleadingly and all she did was glare at me with an empty threat.

"What do you want me to do then, huh?" I probed. Namine blinked, her eyebrows smoothing away blankly, before shrugging. She bowed her head and turned away.

"I don't know."

Before I could say anything else, Xion walked over to us and took the seat on Namine's other side. Immediately her body froze, something flickered in her blue eyes. Anger.

Xion fiddled awkwardly with the easel in front of her, before shrugging her shoulders and turning to Namine.

"Hi, I'm Xion!" She said brightly to Namine. I instantly felt bad for the beaming girl, when Namine stiffly turned around to face her. I could tell she was probably giving Xion a dirty look because Xion stared back at her confused. "W-what's um- what's you're name?"

I could see Namine's figure shake angrily. "I'm…Namine." She snapped through clenched teeth. As Xion was about to respond, Namine turned back to me abruptly and leaned in.

"Trade seats with me," She said urgently. I blinked at her.

"Uh, what?"

"Seats! Trade seats with me!" She hissed. Desperation flashed through her eyes and I knew that whether I liked it or not I was going to end up sitting in Namine's seat. I sighed, running a hand through my hair before getting up from my seat to swap with her.

"Hi Kairi!"Xion greeted, when I sat down. I blinked at her incredulously; shocked that she remembered my name. Then I realized I just introduced myself a few minutes ago. My lips pulled into an uneasy smile and I felt my eyes fall down to the floor.

The last time I saw this girl I was caught in the middle of Sora and Roxas's fight. I wasn't too thrilled to be in her presence right now as it reminded me of it.

"Er- hi?" I replied uncertainly.

"You remember me right?" She asked. I opened my mouth but she cut in. "Of course you do!" She chirped waving her hand, before I could so much as get a word out. I blinked at her, simply nodding my head and turning back to the easel in front of me.

I peeked over it, to look at the teacher in the front who looked like she was practically hopping around from one end of the room to the other.

"Art is everywhere class! Inspiration can come from any thing ranging from something grandeur or simply a minuscule place!" At this she jumped in excitement, her round face growing red. "Go on! Paint what you're feeling, paint it all, paint the world, let your soul travel out from your body and drip down the blank whiteness in front of you."

I stared wide eyed as she dipped her fingers in a large bucket of crimson red paint, before rushing up to her large easel and clawing at it.

Ok, if I thought my bio teacher was weird, I obviously did not meet the whole school staff…

I felt a nudge at my side; Xion also wore a shocked expression.

"Does she normally do this?" She exclaimed. I shrugged my shoulder, letting my eyes flash around the class room. The rest of the students looked indifferent, completely disregarding her (she now was rubbing blue paint on her face..) as they started their own painting.

My gaze landed on Namine who didn't move a muscle. She stared vacantly at the empty sheet of paper. Her lips pressed into a firm line. I looked down and noticed that her supplies were still closed up.

"Are you going to start?" I probed, giving her a playful nudge. She frowned before shaking her head.

"I don't feel like it." She answered honestly. "What's the point anyway, really? It's just a stupid bit of paper and in the end it'll always be a stupid bit of paper right?"

"Uh, no! It'll be artwork in the end," I said sharply. She sighed loudly resting her head against the easel, and closing her eyes. She shuddered slightly and I caught her face twist in pain for a brief second before smoothing out. "Maybe you should go home…" I started.

"Yeah you don't look like you're feeling well" Xion piped up from behind me. Namine's head snapped up and she glared at her with utmost revulsion. I flinched away from Namine's glare.

"I'm just _fine,_" She snarled, grimacing in distaste.

"Are you sure?" Xion asked with sincerity, as she leaned over me to place her hand on Namine's forehead. "A fever can make people quite irritable…" She trailed off worriedly.

"Get away!" Namine snapped, swishing her hand away. "I don't need you to tell me if I'm being irritable or not! You don't know me!"

I gawked at Namine as she completely blew off. She was always so well reserved around people, regardless of how crappy she felt. Namine lip curled in malice and her eyebrows furrowed. Her face was slowly turning a dark red.

"I didn't say that!" Xion stammered, looking wildly from me to Namine. "I was only suggesting that-"

"I don't need your suggestions you- you," Namine's face contorted in frustration as she struggled to come up with an insult. She slammed her fists against her easel causing it to collapse at her lack of speech. "You… you _home wrecker_!"

"Namine!" I exclaimed, my mouth hanging open as I gaped at her.

"_Home wrecker?_" Xion repeated, blinking at her obviously puzzled. Her eyebrows pulled together as she looked like she was contemplating the words in her mind. My gaze shifted back to Namine, whose face still shown bits of red spots, her blue eyes were wide and the edges were slowly watering. A hand was firmly clamped over her mouth.

"I don't understand what you mean!" Xion demanded staring at Namine. On the other hand, Namine shook her head before standing up, grabbing her bag, and excusing her self. I watched as she rushed out the door. It felt like déjà vu…sort of.

My eyes fell on the broken easel on the floor. And then slowly traveled back to Xion. She also was staring at the door, in which Namine had bolted out, with an odd expression.

"She doesn't like me much, huh? Wonder why…"

I frowned at her, trying to think of something to say.

"She doesn't I guess." I answered honestly. At this Xion's lips pulled downward into a frown too.

"Why would she call me a home wrecker though, what is that even supposed to mean?"

I opened my mouth and for a moment seriously considered confiding in her about Riku, but decided against it at the last minute. She didn't need to know. She was just the new girl after all. Xion stared at me expectantly but I shook my head.

"I don't know." I said finally.

The teacher was so into whatever she was doing at the front of the class, she didn't even notice the easel on the floor or Namine's departure. In fact the whole class seemed totally detached from the angry little conversation between us three.

"What are we even supposed to do?" Xion leaned over and asked me indicating to the blank sheet of paper. I shrugged my shoulders. She pursed her lips and tapped her chin, before a smile grew on her face. "Well it gives us time to get to know each other, huh?"

I gulped inaudibly and blinked at her uneasily. "Sure, I guess?" I muttered uncertainly.

"So Kairi, you're going out with Sora right?"

"How did you…" I trailed off, staring at her wide eyed.

"Roxas told me," She added quickly. I winced at the name and she noticed. "You and Roxas don't seem to get along do you?"

I frowned. What did this girl want from me? I wasn't about to divulge the inner workings of my mind to a completely strange new girl! I shook my head.

"You and Roxas seem to be talking a lot lately, huh?" I snapped, feeling my blood boil. Get to know each other my ass! I really felt like telling her to mind her own business but I stopped myself.

Her grin widened. "Yep, we have! Been catching up! I haven't seen him in years," She gushed. "Roxas is such a great guy, I can't believe you could turn him down. If I was you I would have-"

"Yeah, well you aren't me," I cut off irritably. "Can we just stop talking about this?"

"Ooh, still a touchy subject for you huh?" She asked, nodding wisely. She reached up and put a strand of her black hair behind her ear. "Yeah I'd feel like crap to if I were you. I mean after yesterday? That was pretty harsh of Roxas to just blurt all of that out. I understand."

I smacked my forehead, before glaring at the girl. She continued on as if nothing happened.

"But I understand his side too. I mean the guy has been practically alone most of his life. Especially after his parents died, it was terrible. It was like a Dementor laid a big ol' kiss on him." **(A/N: Harry Potter reference xP)**

The mention of his parents sparked my interest.

"His parents died in a car crash." I mumbled mostly to myself but Xion heard anyway.

"That's right." She said, solemnly. Her cheery demeanor faded slightly. She looked away from my eyes with a forlorn expression. This change of topic seemed to discourage her to continue because she stayed quiet after that.

I looked at her, my mind skimming over to Roxas, before Namine occupied it. She was probably a total mess right now.

x.X.x

I figured as much when I walked into the Nurse's office; seeing Namine curled up on the seat with her eyes puffy and red when she looked up at me. We both stared at each other for a long moment. I didn't know what to say and neither did she. It was a weird moment where we were talking through our eyes.

I cleared my throat and looked away and back again.

"How are you holding up?" I asked finally, kneeling down in front of her. She pointedly looked away and hastily wiped her face with the end of her sweater. I looked around spotting the tissue box on the Nurse's counter of assorted medical equipment. I grabbed the box, pulling one out.

"Stupid question," She mumbled as I tugged her hands away from her face, bringing the tissue up to her face and wiping her eyes as best I could.

"I know. I just… don't know what to say, y'know?" I replied awkwardly, fiddling with the tissue box. Namine sniffed and looked away from me again. I sighed, pulling another tissue from the box and putting it to her nose. "C'mon blow," I whispered.

"Kairi," Namine whined

"Just do it," I said rolling my eyes. She didn't wait for me to say it again. The blowing trumpet-like sound filled the room as she blew against the tissue. I crunched my nose up as I balled up the tissue and threw it in the trash.

I turned my attention back to Namine who was staring at me with a broken expression. I sighed again, reaching forward to grab her hand.

"You need to- to pull yourself together," I started, feeling like a hypocrite saying those words. She didn't respond, but I felt her squeeze my hand to show that she was at least listening. So I continued. "You said that you think you made a mistake, but you didn't! You did the right thing, Namine. Trust me. You don't need a jerk to make you happy. You were happy before him. So just… Please don't kill yourself over this…" I stopped suddenly feeling like smacking myself on the forehead. Way to use the right words, Kairi. Kill yourself? Of course I didn't mean that literally! But looking at the state Namine is in I wouldn't doubt that would have some kind of affect on her.

I opened my mouth to correct myself before she got any bad ideas, but she beat me.

"I wish I could believe you Kairi, I really do." She said quietly. I looked up at her. She wasn't looking at me anymore. But I could clearly see the bitterness in her expression. The blank mask she tried to wear was falling apart.

She stood up suddenly, putting her bag over her shoulder. I jumped to my feet and watched her.

"Namine…" I started, before reaching out and pulling her into a hug. "Please, please get better. I don't want to see you like this."

I felt Namine sigh against my cheek before tugging herself away from my arms.

"I'm going to go home. You're right. I shouldn't have come." She turned to look at me. Her lips pulled upward into a pathetic attempt at a smile. "See you later."

x.X.x

I walked the hallways, bumping into a bunch of students. They turned to look at me before beginning their whispering gossip. I ignored them and ran for the football field outside.

Once I reached the bleachers I sat down, wrapping my arms around myself, glaring at my lap. I felt so helpless. There was absolutely no way I could help Namine. I couldn't confront Riku (as much as I wanted to) because honestly I knew that would not end well.

For a split second I wished I were a boy, that way- I don't know- maybe I could have helped her or at least distracted her from her heartbreak, but I pushed that irrational thought away. How could I have even thought that?

I pursed my lips thinking harder. Then it hit me. Sora.

Sora could obviously comfort Namine in ways I wouldn't have been able to. And who knew, maybe they would end up together like they were supposed to. Before I forced my way into that pretty picture. I felt a pang in my chest as I thought of the two of them together. I didn't want them together. I was happy with my situation right now- well not everything. Everything was crap on the Roxas end. But would I sacrifice my relationship for Namine? Would I give up my happiness for hers?

Of course I would.

I was so lost in thought that I didn't realize Sora was waving his hand in front of my face, at first. I blinked in shock at his sudden appearance. When did he get here? He flashed me a bright smile, wrapping his arms around me and placing a kiss on my cheek.

I suddenly felt a wave of guilt hit me for my treacherous thoughts. I didn't even bring Sora's own feelings into the equation. Did he still have feelings for Namine? OR was he telling me the truth when he told me he liked me? I scrunched my eyebrows together as I considered this. He could have still possibly had feelings for Namine, I wouldn't have blamed him.

"Hey what's up, you look like you're constipated." Sora commented, poking my cheek. I flushed a deep red before shoving him away.

"Wow, that makes me feel wonderful, you really know how to charm a girl Sora," I mumbled sarcastically. I stared at him curiously as he grinned to himself. I _am_ his girlfriend after all, how could he not like me? It wouldn't have made sense. But what if he was just using me to get over Namine, like Riku had used Namine herself. That could have been a strong possibility. I felt myself frown.

Sora blinked at me curiously, poking me again.

"Something wrong?" He probed.

I scowled. "No. It's nothing."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, Sora, I'm fine."

Sora looked at me suspiciously before disregarding my dirty look. "Well ok… Say, Kairi, do you know what day it is today?" His voice was dripping with excitement.

"Er- should I?"

He faked being stabbed in the heart. I smiled halfheartedly.

"Of course you should! I'm hurt Kairi." He pouted, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Ok ok I'm sorry, what is it Sora?"

"It's- drum roll please-" At this he rapidly thrummed his fingers against the bleachers. "Our first date!"

"Date?" I repeated blankly. "But I thought we already went on a date before."

Sora rolled his eyes at this.

"That one doesn't count! We weren't together then," He whined. I pursed my lips together, looking at him.

"But you're in… like detention." I protested.

"It only cuts in half an hour of after school." Sora reasoned, eyeing me skeptically. One of his brown eyebrows cocked upwards. "What's wrong? You're making me feel like you don't even want to go."

"No, no it's not that," I replied hastily, feeling really stupid. Great, now my dejected attitude was affecting Sora. I forced a cheery smile on my face. "There's just been a lot on my mind lately."

"Like?"

"Just… stuff." I supplied.

He frowned suddenly, glaring at me. "Guess you're not going to tell me huh?"

My lips pulled into a bigger smile. "Nope."

"Meanie!" He cried.

x.X.x

Sora guaranteed that he'd pick me up an hour after school ended for our first date. It was weird I didn't feel all tingly like I did the first time he took me to the movies. But I dismissed my concerns. I was just probably getting used to being around Sora. That's a good thing isn't it? It meant I wouldn't be a blushing mess around him anymore.

I sighed walking through the school hall, towards my seventh period; miserably I might add, because I knew I'd have to be alone again. Namine wasn't here at school anymore. That new pang in my chest hit me again as I thought of her. God I hoped she got better.

When I turned the corner to the classroom I bumped into something- rather, someone. I looked up, realizing suddenly I shouldn't have looked up.

Icy blue eyes glared down at me and I was speechless.

"I-I…" I stammered, as Roxas's glare remained still. "Sorry." I bowed my head, feeling my face flush deeply.

"Hi Kairi, what's up!" Xion poked her head from around Roxas to greet me. I was startled and did a double take. Where did she pop up from?

I turned back to Roxas, whose glare disappeared, but his eyes were still on mine. I blinked at him, unable to look away. His blue eyes bore into mine and I couldn't even think about looking away. Just the mere thought of the action was impossible.

His eyes darted between mine, searching for some unknown answer. His eyebrows loosened up considerably, his forehead a smooth plate. And then suddenly, unexpectedly I caught something flicker in his mask-like eyes. Intensity. That same intense passion he used to look at me before all of this strain was put into our relationship. I gazed back lost in a hypnotizing stupor that when it was gone, I felt as if I were cheated out of something.

The transition of his eyes was so sudden, it made me nauseated and dizzy. I staggered backward, almost losing my balance, but a hand grabbed my arm, holding me steady.

My surroundings focused. I quickly looked down at the hand clutching my arm, realizing instantly that it was Roxas's. How could I have not realized it sooner, with the way his slightly calloused yet smooth hands molded around my arm? It was so familiar that I should have recognized it immediately.

My eyes flickered to his face, but he wasn't looking at me anymore, he was looking down at the floor. His blond bangs covering his eyes, so I only saw his lips pulled into a grimace.

"Watch yourself," He spoke through a strained voice. "Kai." He added under his breath. I don't think it was intended for my ears but I heard it anyway. Just the sound of my nickname coming from him, made my heart thump faster.

Roxas let go of my arm, stuffing his hands in his pocket and walking away. I blinked multiple times, staring down at my arm and then back at his walking figure. My arm was red, I didn't realize how tightly he was holding it, until after he let go.

"That was weird." Came a voice from behind. I wheeled around completely forgetting that Xion was still next to me. I gulped audibly.

"Weird," I agreed, before shaking it off and continuing to walk to class.

I found out that Xion also had academic support with me. Oh boy, wait till Namine finds out, I thought sarcastically.

Xion tagged along with me and sat next to me. Were we considered friends now? I don't even know this girl!

"So what are we even supposed to do in this class?" She asked looking around curiously. I inwardly rolled my eyes.

"It's kind of like study hall" I started but she cut me off.

"Then why don't they call it _study hall_?" she probed, snorting at the name. "I mean academic support sounds so- I don't know- juvenile." I felt slightly offended, but ignored it.

"Maybe because we still are juvenile…"

_Dumb ass… _

"Hmm, guess you're right." She muttered indifferently. She fiddled around with her fingers before turning to look at me. A wide smile graced her lips. "More heart to heart time, with my friend Kairi."

There was that word again. _Friend. _Was I _really_ her friend?

"So do you want to play 20 questions?" She asked eagerly.

My eyes widened as I shot her an are-you-serious glance. Her smile didn't waver. There was something about her expression that reminded me of an overexcited puppy. All she needed was to poke out her tongue and wear a dog collar. I wonder if fetch a Frisbee if I threw one, I mused.

"Er- 20 questions?" I repeated uneasily. She nodded her head excitedly.

"I'll go first ok?" She exclaimed, clapping her hands together as she straightened up in her seat. I watched her warily, not quite sure if I was going to allow myself to get sucked into this game.

"Ok?" I muttered. Apparently I was…

"Alright! What's your favorite color?" She asked.

I stared at her incredulously. Was she seriously asking this. She waited for my response. I blinked and cleared my throat.

"Oh- uh well it's blue."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Hmm, I would have figured it was pink." She said thoughtfully. I face palmed. Honestly, why does everyone think my favorite color is pink? It was the dress, I concluded. She laughed at my reaction before urging me to continue. I pursed my lips trying to think of a question. _Still can't believe I got sucked into playing!_

"Ok… Um," I struggled to come up with a question. I clearly noticed Xion getting impatient when she chewed her lip or tapped her feet against the desk. I sighed loudly. "Sorry. I got nothing. My head really hurts. It's not that I don't find you interesting. I'm just not in the mood to ask questions."

I expected her to get offended or start screaming or at least frown at me but shockingly she just shrugged her shoulders.

"Fair enough," she replied. "I wasn't in the mood for answering questions anyway. So it looks like it's just you sitting in the hot seat."

"Hot seat?"

"Yep," She chimed.

After a few awkward and fairly easy questions later, I found Xion's company actually enjoyable. Sure she was a little annoying at times, but it was hard to stay annoyed at her. She was an all around nice person. It brought a sudden relief over me that I didn't feel with Roxas, Sora, or even Namine at this point. Just talking to her, reminded me suddenly that I was just a teenaged girl.

Xion stared at me curiously.

"You're kind of funny," She commented.

"Thanks." I said.

"You're pretty too, no wonder Roxas was totally in love with you." Xion added randomly, cocking her head to one side. I stared back at her awkwardly. How in the hell do you respond to that?

"Um, thanks?" I mumbled uncertainly. She laughed at me. I smiled.

How could someone like this ever be with a jerk like Riku? That just didn't make any sense. Before I knew it the question blurted out from my mouth.

"Why did you go out with Riku?" I asked. Her smile froze in place for a second before falling entirely. I felt like smacking myself. _Way to go and ruin the moment, Kairi. _"Sorry just forget I asked."

"No,no it's ok," She mumbled. Her eyebrows pulled together and her eyes narrowed. She stayed quiet for a few seconds. I thought she wouldn't answer so I tried to change the subject.

"He was nice to me. And I knew he really liked me, even though I didn't in that way." She started. Her posture was slowly slumping dejectedly. "We went out and I didn't expect to like him back. It was really weird but it made sense. I mean he was charming and sweet, so it was probably inevitable. But…"

"But?" I pressed intently. I didn't realize we were whispering now.

"But he started to get really… protective," She continued. I noticed her expression turn into a an angry scowl. "It was suffocating being with him then. I couldn't go anywhere without him breathing down my shoulder. He would even get mad at Roxas if he found us talking. It got really out of hand. It wasn't until he almost- well when he threatened my younger brother that I ended things. I stopped talking to him and ended any kind of contact with him."

I stared at her unblinkingly. She looked deep in thought, as if she were in another world. I waited patiently for her to continue.

"I really don't want to have anything to do with him," Xion admitted wearily. "But he doesn't leave me alone. I guess this is the only downside in leaving Twilight town, huh?"

"Xion…" I started, but she cut me off.

"It's ok, really," She reassured me. But I raised an eyebrow at her doubtfully. "I don't care at all for him. It's him that still clings on to the past, seriously. Believe me, I've clearly told him what my feelings were but he thinks I'm playing hard to get or something. If he's this bad now, I feel bad for his next girlfriend." She laughed bitterly at her comment. I furrowed my eyebrows worriedly. Xion noticed my silence and gave me a curious stare.

"Kairi? Something wrong?"

I shook my head. "No. No I'm fine." I lied.

_Namine._

x.X.x

"Argg! We're going to miss the movie!"

Sora and I both sat on the bus stop bench, waiting for the blasted public transit to come. We had been waiting here for already a half an hour. I sighed, and slumped lower in my seat.

"Kairiii! What's wrong, you look bored out of your brains!" He complained, pinching my cheek. I winced beneath his two fingers, before swatting them away.

"Sorry, I've just got a lot on my mind." I admitted, crossing my arms over my chest. Sora looked at me skeptically before pouting.

"You've been thinking too much." He stated. "Be dumb for once."

"Like you do?" I teased, with a small smile.

"Yeah exactly- wait! Hey!" He snapped, reaching forward to pinch my cheek again, but I grabbed his hand and steered it away from my face. He stopped fighting against me and let his hand fall limp against mine.

His fingers moved around my palm until they wrapped around my whole hand. His whole face turned serious as he looked at me. "You_ have_ been thinking too much Kairi. I know you have a lot of problems, but today, just don't think about them. Today you're with me."

He wriggled his eyebrows suggestively at his last statement.

"Are you implying something Sora?" I questioned, mocking fake politeness, raising one of my eyebrows. His face flushed slightly as he cracked into a grin.

He shook his head innocently, and I let out a small laugh. My chuckle stopped when he started to lean closer, brushing his lips against mine. His hand clenched mine, while his other reached up to push a few strands of my hair that was in my face behind my ear.

His chapped lips moved against mine and I felt a twinge of annoyance. It felt like I was kissing a cactus. A peppermint cactus. The scratching feeling went away once his lips parted breaking mine open, not that I didn't protest.

The sweet candy cane taste filled my mouth and I felt my surroundings spinning around me in jolly good Christmas wonderland.

Sora pulled away abruptly, his head whipping to the side, before cursing out loud.

"Damn it! That's the second time!" He yelled, jumping from his seat to stop around. I blinked confusedly before the world came into focus again.

And soon I was jumping from seat and kicking the sidewalk as I saw the transit bus drive away from the bus stop.

x.X.x

After the agonizingly scary movie (why did I agree to watching this?) was over, Sora and I ate at the familiar burger joint we had been going for the past months. We learned from the past not to order as much as that last time.

I peeled off the top of my shake to dip a French fry in it. Once I put it in my mouth, Sora's nose crinkled.

"What?" I complained.

"That's gross Kairi." He commented, still wearing that disgusted expression. I rolled my eyes before dipping another fry in the shake.

"You don't know what you're missing…" I said in a sing-song voice.

"You're not supposed to mess with perfection!" He stammered, gesturing towards the cup of French fries. I laughed.

I shook my head before dipping another fry in my shake. I paused, waiting for him to turn away pointedly, thinking I was going to eat it. But quickly I stuffed it in his mouth.

"Now it's perfection!" I said smugly, as he tried to spit it out. But after the failed attempt he chewed on it thoughtfully before swallowing. He blinked, before frowning at me.

"Fine, you win this time Kairi," He mumbled.

"I win all the time," I chirped.

Sora frown cracked into a grin.

"So.." He said after a long pause,

"So?" I mimicked, raising an eyebrow at him suspiciously.

"So…" He repeated again, exaggerating as he trailed off leaving a hint in the air. He played with the shake in his hand before taking a sip, giving me a suggestive smile. I felt my face flush and looked away.

"What are you trying to say? Just spit it out already!" I complained, tugging at the straw of my shake. Sora's grin widened until he was beaming. He set his shake down and leaned back, scrutinizing me.

"So… winter formal's coming up," He said matter-of-factly. I face palmed.

"Winter formal?" I asked. How could I have forgotten about that? OF course Sora would drag me to that stupid event. He successfully did it to Hayner's stupid party.

"Yep, it's next week," He informed me seriously.

"So?" I mumbled, knowing exactly where this conversation was going. Sora cleared his throat and looked at me furtively. Slowly his face turned red. He was nervous.

"Um. So do you want to… y'know go with me?" He asked. I started to get embarrassed only because he was getting embarrassed.

"Why wouldn't I go with you?" I questioned.

Sora furrowed his eyebrows and looked away, a pout evident on his lips.

"I mean I'd understand if you wanted to go with… someone else." He said pointedly. I stared at him confused for a minute before my eyes widened. Immediately I knew what he was implying. He thought I wanted to go with Roxas? Was that it? Silly boy, I wasn't even talking to Roxas right now.

He saw my expression (at this point it was glee), turned away and sulked. My lips curved into a small smile as I reached across the table and grabbed his hand.

"Sora, we're going out! Why would I want to go with anyone else?" I said seriously. His face perked up at my response and he grinned, giving my hand a returning squeeze.

"Really? That's great, oh boy I'm so stoked," He muttered happily, mostly to himself. "The whole gym's going to be rigged with lights and fog machines and the school's hiring a DJ so that means better dance music…"

"Whoa whoa whoa, hold your horses there," I said suddenly, tugging my hand away from his. "Dancing? I don't dance."

"Aw c'mon Kairi everybody dances." He said cheerfully, waving a dismissive hand in my direction. I grabbed my shake and sucked the straw angrily, drinking more of the shake than I could. I pushed the cup away when I felt a sudden ache in my head.

"Agh, brain freeze," I complained, clutching both sides of my head. Sora laughed, reaching forward and petting my head affectionately.

"Aw, poor Kairi, can't dance and with a brain freeze." Sora chuckled. I shot him a glare. "Look if it makes you feel better I'm not really a good dancer either. But you have to promise me something."

"What is it?"

"Promise first!"

"Why am I going promise to something I have no clue about!" I complained. Sora's brows furrowed in a scolding manner. He wagged his finger in my face.

"Just do it!"

"Fine I promise," I fumed, crossing my arms over my chest. He chuckled at my childish behavior.

"Ok, we have to dance to a slow song…and then we can leave!" Sora nearly chimed out the last part. I gaped at him, not entirely sure if he was being serious or not. His unwavering expression answered my doubts.

"What's the point in going if we're going to dance to one song?"

"Aha! You _do_ like to dance, you dancing freak!" He exclaimed, pointing a finger at me wildly. I groaned and rolled my eyes.

"I do not! Ok, fine one slow dance. But seriously what are we going to do until that one dance?"

"Well it _is_ winter formal, I'm sure they'll have food. And cake, I hope they have cake," He said, pounding his hands on the table. I face palmed.

Ten days. That's all I had left until I'd be brought shackled to that stupid dance.

**DUN DUN DUH! Lol, not really a cliff hanger but whatever. Haha, well I might update in a few days but I doubt it...I'm really uninspired in this particular time period of the story...so Idk.**

**I'm going back to school next tuesday, so I'm hoping I'll post another chapter before then.**

**Thanks for reading**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW.  
**


	28. Chapter 27

**Hey Reviewers/Readers...whatever you want to be called... xD, Um what do I say? This chapter is a little on the short side, I'll admit, but surprisingly I'm content with it. ****Besides it's about quality and not quantity right? ****And on the bright side, I'm not stuck w/ writer's block anymore. This chapter has enlightened me, for a new subplot ;)**

**So I'll keep it short and just say enjoy :D**

**I DON'T OWN KH BLAH BLAH BLAH  
**

x.X.x

Sora and I walked along the sidewalk in the dimming sunset. His hand was clamped with mine and occasionally he'd rock our hands flashing me a warm smile. I knew where his chipper mood was coming form.

"I can't wait until winter formal!" He gushed giddily. It sometimes felt like the roles in our relationship would reverse. I rolled my eyes in annoyance, but despite that, I couldn't help lifting my lips into a small smile.

"Obvious much?" I laughed shortly as he turned to pout at me.

"Obvious much?" He mocked in a bad imitation of me. "Jeez Kairi, quit being a kill joy."

I stopped in my tracks, tugged my hand away before placing them both on my hips. He blinked at me confusedly as I glared at him.

"Me? A kill joy? Not even!" I snapped. He cracked into a wide grin before doubling over and letting out a loud roll of laughter. I felt my face flush an angry red as I stared at him incredulously.

"What's so funny?" I demanded. He shook his head good naturedly, grabbing my hand and pulling me along with him as if I hadn't said anything.

By the time we turned on my street, the golden pink rays of sunset faded into a mixture of orange and purple. The streetlamps weren't even turned on yet. We both walked in silence, besides Sora whistling to a tune I didn't recognize.

"So… what are you doing tomorrow?" He asked as nonchalantly as possible, but I could have sworn I heard a twinge of nervousness in his tone. I ran a hand through my hair and sighed.

"Nothing much probably, why?" I mumbled in response, before giving him a furtive smile. He flushed slightly and turned away.

"I don't know thought we could hang out… have a study session or something – meet your mom…" He mumbled the last part under his breath so I had to listen twice as hard.

I blinked incredulously. "Uh what?"

Who in their right mind would want to meet my crazy mother? Sora must of seen the expression on my face because he rolled his eyes and slumped sort of.

"Never mind, jeez Kairi." He laughed, nudging me on the side. He pulled his hand away, to wrap his arm over my shoulder. I almost toppled over at the sudden weight of his arm. My face turned red instantly and I glanced at him to make sure he didn't see.

"It's not that I don't mind… But don't you think it's like – I don't know – too soon?" I asked reasonably.

"Yeah sure of course." He agreed. "Sorry I shouldn't be rushing things."

"It's ok."

The golden, pink rays were slowly fading away. The sun was just about ready to sink down into it's nightly slumber. I felt myself smile bitterly at the sunset. The last time I really looked at a sunset Roxas was with me…. And I dumped him.

My smile fell into a deep frown. It had been a long time since I really thought about him. My heart still felt guilty; I still wanted to mend things with him. He was my friend.

I sighed aloud. Where on earth do I begin? He's probably still mad. I would be mad too. I don't blame him. But today in the hallways, he didn't seem so. He almost seemed…forgiving. If that was even possible.

I chewed my lip, pondering this. Whatever he was feeling, I knew I'd have to talk to him. I needed to get it off of my chest already. It wasn't healthy to be worrying about him and then with Namine's situation on top of it all… I wouldn't be surprised if my head exploded due to being overstressed.

"What are you thinking?" Sora's voice broke me from my thoughts. I blinked back into reality, turning to face him.

"Just stuff." I supplied halfheartedly.

"More stuff you won't tell me?" He probed stubbornly.

"Yep."

He rolled his eyes and groaned. "Just tell me."

I raised an eyebrow at him skeptically. Should I tell him? What's the worse that could possibly happen?

I hesitated. "Well, it's just that… I mean I haven't spoken to Roxas since…" I trailed off. I distinctly felt Sora's grip around me loosen. I quickly looked at his expression and saw a flicker of disappointment.

"Sora?"

In a flash he replaced it with a broad smile. But I could easily tell it wasn't genuine. "Aw, I bet he's ok! You shouldn't worry about that!"

I pulled my eyebrows together and stared at him puzzled.

"Sora… what is it?"

Instantly his fake cheerful grin crumbled away. His footsteps slowed down into a long stop. He looked away from me and he pulled his arm off. His lips were jutted out into a deep frown and his eyebrows were furrowed.

I felt myself panic. My blood turned cold when he stared up at me with a forlorn expression.

"Kairi, what do you think of me?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I _mean,_ do you even like me?" He pressed, looking serious.

My jaw dropped and I blinked stupidly at him for a couple of seconds. What the hell? Was he honestly asking me that question? I shook my head, composing my expression.

"Why are you asking me such a stupid question?" I snapped. "Why do you think I'm going out with you?"

His blue eyes glazed over into a hard glare.

"I don't know! Why do you think I'm asking you?" He snapped back. I took a step back, looking at him wide eyed. When did _he_ get mad?

"Sora I don't understand!" I stammered. He turned away from me pointedly, to glare at the cement. His brown spikes fell in his face, casting a troubled look. I took a step towards him and reached for his hand but his head snapped up.

"Sometimes I feel as if –this-" He murmured, gesturing towards me and him. " Is completely one-sided. I try to be exciting with you, and try to cheer you up, but you've been acting all _mopey_. Is it because you'd rather not be with me? Because if it is then-"

"Whoa whoa whoa, you think _you're_ the one who likes me more than I do?" I asked incredulously. He crossed his arms over his chest, nodding once. His glare was still on his face and I really felt like an idiot. "Are you insane?"

"Well think about it, for all I know you could be with me, and think about my _cousin_!" He barked. I flinched as if I was slapped across the face. My chest constricted in that same painful way, every time Roxas was brought into the situation.

"I chose you didn't I?" I cried out. "I didn't choose Roxas I chose you."

"Yeah well…" Sora started stubbornly, but I held up a hand.

"And why are you even bringing up Roxas?" I snarled.

"You're the one who brought him up!" He bit back.

"But that was out of concern! You're talking about him as if – I don't know – as if you have something to worry about!"

"Because the guy practically worships you-"

"Yeah and you weren't the guy who was mooning after _my_ best friend for the past years," I snapped back. "And completely failed to acknowledge me? You honest think you like me more? You didn't even know who I was, until this year. I liked you the moment I met you! All those years I stood back and watched you flirt with my best friend, and I didn't say a thing."

"Oh please Kairi, don't try to put this on me."

"Oh and it's my fault?"

"Maybe if you were fully committed-"

"Ok I'll admit, I'm not entirely here right now. I've got a lot of things going on! Who doesn't?"

"Well why don't you talk to me?" He demanded.

"My world does _not_ revolve around you Sora."

"What do you mean?" He asked, his glare subsiding slightly.

"I _mean_ that everything I do does not always have to _do_ with you. So quit nosing your way into my business." I spat out. Sora blinked, recoiling away from my verbal hit.

"You're… You're my girlfriend-" He started, but I immediately cut him off.

"I am. But I'm not a hopeless girl that's going to lose her entire self to love like Namine." I felt the venom on my tongue, but I couldn't stop it. Even when Sora's frustrated expression slipped into a hurt one.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He whispered. His blue eyes were darting between mine. I felt myself look away from his. I was still angry. My eyes narrowed and I returned his gaze with a hard glare. "What do you mean about Namine? Her and Riku in _love_? She told you that?"

Immediately his lips fell into a deep frown. His blue eyes were dripping with concern. His brown brows were pulled together as he stared at me for an answer.

My anger ebbed away, and shock replaced it. I blinked my eyes wide eyed, drinking in his expression. My mouth fell open as a tiny gasp came rolling out of it.

"You… _do_ still like her don't you?" The words came blundering out.

I didn't really know what to think at this moment. Besides all the shock and horror I was feeling, I knew somewhere deep down this was to be expected. But it didn't reassure me. My gut felt like it was ripped inside out, I was bleeding. It was sickening feeling. That's what I felt. I felt _sick_. I could feel something coming up, getting caught in my throat.

I didn't even realize I said it out loud until he scowled.

His usual cheerful eyes narrowed angrily.

"Don't put words in _my _mouth." He snapped.

"I didn't-"

"God, do you not trust me or what! Quit being so insecure!" He yelled, throwing his hands in the air. "I like you Kairi. You don't trust me enough when I say that?"

Sora's blue eyes were staring at me anxiously, searching my face for an answer. His gaze unnerved me. I shifted away, throwing an arm over myself.

"I-I… I don't…" I admitted miserably, looking away from his face. I heard him sigh loudly and I knew that he had his hands in his face, because it was muffled.

"This isn't going to work." He mumbled.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I whipped my head up to his face.

But he didn't respond. His glare was still prominent as he wheeled around suddenly and stalked off, leaving me under the streetlight lamp.

x.X.x

_What have I done?_ I thought angrily as I stomped my way back home. Sora didn't leave me that far off; It was only a few houses. But it felt like one of the longest walks of my entire life. I wanted to get home already. It was cold. I was wearing Sora's thick sweater, but in the midst of my frustration, I threw it off.

What the hell did I just do!

I was so mad and so upset at myself. I completely ruined everything. It hadn't been a week yet. Not even a freaking whole week yet, and I already screwed things up with Sora.

"God you're such an idiot Kairi" I scolded, running a hand through my hair, and tugging at it angrily. He probably won't even want to talk to me. Great, first Roxas now him. Ugh, Roxas! Why am I even thinking of him? It's his fault I'm in this mess!

I slapped my forehead. No it wasn't his fault. It was me, being a stupid, ill tempered moron.

When did our perfect date, turn into this?

x.X.x

By the time I reached my house, I threw open the door, completely oblivious to my mom standing there with her hands on her hips. I brushed past her, not even attempting to hide my foot stomping.

"Kairi, where do you think you're going!" She snapped, sliding in front of me, blocking my way up the stairs.

"To my room." I snapped.

"Kairi it's ten thirty, it's past your curfew," She pressed. I whipped my head up to glare at her angrily.

"Since when have I had a curfew?" I retorted, side stepping around her. But just as quickly as I made a move, her hand grabbed my shoulder and spun me around.

"Since you've gotten yourself a boyfriend, you hormonal teenager." She answered, that same annoying authority look flashed through her eyes. I coughed uncomfortably and looked away. I felt my cheeks flush in humiliation and anger.

My eyebrows pulled together and I couldn't help but letting my angry expression fall into a miserable one.

"Yeah, well I don't think that's necessary anymore." I whispered. My mom's grip on my shoulder loosened, and eventually fell.

"Kairi," She asked. The hardness in her voice immediately disappearing. Sympathy replaced it. I could feel her eyes on me, and that only made me flush deeper. I wanted to get out away from her pity gaze. It was only making me feel even more upset. "What's wrong?"

I blinked away the sadness, and glowered at her. "I don't want to talk about it! Leave me alone." I uttered out the most cliché teenage girl line ever, before stomping around her and bounding upstairs.

I was about to throw myself on my bed and bang my head against a pillow when something out of my window caught my attention. Namine –in her dead looking presence – was at her windowsill looking as if she were about to close it. She stopped when she saw me, slightly startled, but not enough for her to address me.

Her lips pulled into an empty smile, before shutting the window and turning away.

I felt my heart clench and my stomach twist in a very puzzling way. My feelings towards my best friend were still a jumbled mess at this point, as was Roxas and Sora. Namine; my poor heartbroken friend _still_ remained the object of my envy.

Because whether, intentionally or not, she still had claim over _his_ heart. And I absolutely hated her for it.

x.X.x

The next day, Sora wasn't there to greet me, not that I was expecting him to. But I was still secretly hoping. My mom didn't question my behavior from last night. But I could feel her giving me that questioning look.

So in the morning I found myself walking with Namine. This was a little depressing, adding to the fact that she was like the living dead to be around now. I was torn between hugging her and strangling her. She was the wrong person to be with to help distract me from Sora.

I couldn't help but glance at her through my peripheral vision. Her head was bowed down, as she trained her eyes on the floor. I had to pull her away from potential obstacles she could crash into.

Her blond hair was that same tousled mess and the dark marks under her eyes were even more prominent, if that was possible.

I knew I didn't look like her –that depressed I mean. Sure I was upset, but I knew I could ever over it –even if I didn't want to. I tried to reason with myself. Was it because I didn't care for Sora as much as she did for Riku?

It was plausible. She claimed she loved him. I liked Sora but I didn't love him… yet.

I groaned outwardly.

"You okay?" Namine asked sullenly. Her gaze blank gaze lazily flickered towards me.

_No. You're partly the reason I'm not with Sora._

"I'm fine." I lied, turning away from her and looking straight ahead. She hummed in response before looking back down and falling into that uncomfortable silence.

x.X.x

I walked into my homeroom, to notice immediately that someone was sitting in _my_ seat. Xion was propped in my desk, looking quite comfortable, chatting away with Roxas. I caught his eyes flicker over to me quickly. His eyebrows pulled together and his lips pulled into a deep frown. She noticed his changed expression and followed his eyes.

Xion brightened at the sight of me, and waved me over. I felt myself frown, before complying and taking the seat next to her. I pointedly tried to keep my attention away from Roxas. I was going to feel sick all over again if I looked at him.

"Hey Kairi, good morning!" She greeted happily.

"Morning," I supplied halfheartedly, before turning my gaze down at the desk I was sitting at. I fell into an uncomfortable feeling, being this close to them.

"Morning Kai," came a low voice. I almost did a double take as I recognized the voice as the blonde sitting two seats over. I blinked my attention back to him. Suddenly my chest constricted painfully, as a wave of guilt hit me. But not in the way I was expecting.

"Good morning…Roxas."

x.X.x

Roxas didn't speak to me during first period. Not that I cared so much…ok well I did. Sora didn't speak to me either. He wouldn't even sit next to me either. He pointedly got up and took a seat next to Riku. Riku! I mean come on, that would be an insult to anyone.

Speaking of the prick, Riku looked at Sora as if he had a third eye, as he was trying to start a conversation. To my dismay, Namine also found the new seating arrangements strange. Genuine curiosity flashed through her vacant gaze.

"Why is Sora sitting next to- " She coughed uncomfortably, flinching. "I mean why's he sitting over there."

_Because of you._

I shrugged my shoulders, feeling my body drown in guilt. "I don't know."

"Did you two fight?" She probed, falling back into the halfhearted behavior. I could tell that the only reason that her interest was sparked because Riku was involved… That prick.

I didn't answer.

Her gaze slowly fell lazily on the top of her desk, as she traced circles on the inside of her arm. I noticed that her bruises were fading away.

"I'm sure you guys will make up." She said indifferently. I frowned. What did she know? Look at her now. I inwardly sighed.

x.X.x

Apart from the whole upset feeling that would overcome me during the day –like seeing Sora completely walk away from me – things were getting even more confusing and odd. And I mean in the Roxas way.

I was still thrown off to the way he addressed me in homeroom. Out of all the other days in the past, he had to choose today to even say anything. With a sudden chill, I seriously thought he knew about me and Sora. But how could he. No he wouldn't know.

But then again, he could probably sense the distant cold shoulder Sora was giving me. Anyone would notice. Heck, even oblivious Xion questioned it, second period.

"Is there something up with you and Sora?" She asked, with a raised eyebrow. I turned away and frowned, pretending to be preoccupied with the math problem on the board.

I peeked at her and noticed her give Sora a confused look before turning back to me.

"Did you guys… um.." She started awkwardly looking uncomfortable. Her nervousness was making me nervous.

"I don't understand what you're saying." I snapped. And that shut her up. Throughout our little conversation, to my irritation I realized Roxas listening intently.

x.X.x

Lunch was terrible, in the Sora way. I waited at the bleacher, hoping to run into him and straighten things out but I think he suspected I'd do that. I stared there for a good ten minutes, shivering and staring at my own iced breath. So in the end, I decided to go back inside. It was cold out, and it was no fun not having someone to snuggle up with.

What was I going to do? Was this it? Did this really mean that we were over? I know he sounded really upset last night, but I mean, how could he just do that to me? I had feelings too.

"_I like you Kairi. You don't trust me enough when I say that?"_

What a hypocritical question! He basically felt the same when it came to Roxas.

I didn't even realize my feet were taking me to the lunch benches inside, the ones my friends usually sat at. It felt so foreign to me now. Olette acknowledged me, and asked me where Sora was.

I flinched slightly and ignored her question. Namine was there, but not mentally. So she didn't really count. The last two people my eyes fell on were Roxas and Xion.

"Hey Kairi!" Xion said cheerfully, slurping a soup from a thermos. I suspected she brought her own lunch.

I sat down awkwardly and smiled at her.

"Hi."

I looked away from both of their gazes. Especially Roxas's. It was like staring into a bright light.

"Kairi." Roxas said.

My head snapped up and I stared at him incredulously as he nodded his head in acknowledgement. Second time today.

The first thing I thought of when I returned his greeting –nervously I might add- was Sora. That last dejected look he gave me before he walked away from me last night.

I had this unnerving feeling that Sora was watching me and Roxas… at the same table. Being – well at least civil with each other.

I looked at him and noticed the intensity flash through his blue eyes. I frowned inwardly. How could Sora ever think of worrying about Roxas? It was stupid. And yet… if I were Sora I would have been worried… because I do have feelings for Roxas too.

I inwardly felt like smacking myself. I shouldn't even think of talking to Roxas right now.

_Wait what?_

A second thought occurred to me. Roxas is talking to me. He's actually acknowledging me. The guilt was soon replaced with an excited bubble in my stomach.

"Y-you're talking to me." I blurted out, blinking at him wide eyed. Roxas turned away; I could see a light flush on his pale cheeks. He pulled his eyebrows together and grew silent. Xion took this opportunity to squeeze herself back into the conversation.

"Want some soup?" She asked, with a loud slurp. "It's good. My specialty."

I reached forward and took a sip. I wrinkled my nose before handing it back to her.

"Your specialty is microwavable soup?" I questioned.

"It's good huh?" She smiled suggestively. I smiled weakly, before looking down at my hands. It grew quiet at our table, disclosing the babble of other students happily enjoying their lunch. I was slowly starting to become content with this silence, and a little less uncomfortable being around Roxas. But he broke the silence.

"What did you think I was mad at you?" He mumbled, My head snapped up and I was met with his flustered expression. It didn't occur to me that he was probably thinking this entire time of what I said.

"Well yeah…" I trailed off stupidly. Roxas's face melted into an astonished one. His eyes were darting between mine with curiosity.

"I thought _you_ were mad. I mean I would understand if you were." He started, his eyes were smoldering. "_You_ were the one who wouldn't talk to me… so I just assumed that."

"I didn't talk to you because- because…" I paused. Why didn't I ever approach him? Yesterday in the hallways for example. It would have been the perfect opportunity. And then it hit me. Sora. I _had_ a boyfriend and he was the main reason that held me back from mending my relationship with Roxas. I felt myself slump my shoulders dejectedly.

They were making me choose again. It wasn't fair.

Why couldn't I be with Sora and be friends with Roxas? _Oh wait, it's because Roxas is in love with you, you dolt!_

But I didn't even think I was technically _with _Sora anymore. So where did this leave me now?

I didn't even realize that we were both leaning over the table. Or that Xion was watching us excitedly, nibbling her fingers.

"I'm sorry." He said softly, staring at me puzzled. "For everything. I know I should have said it a long time ago. Yesterday I wanted to …but…"

"Roxas…" I mumbled. Boldly, I reached forward and grabbed his hand in a friendly gesture.

"So are we all friends now?" Xion asked, looking at us both. I turned to her, and grabbed her hand.

"Yeah, we are."

"Phew, that's great; jeez I thought it would take Roxas a lot more convincing to make him talk to you." Xion sighed in relief, wiping her forehead with her other hand. I stared at her curiously

"Wait what?"

"It was my idea," Xion chimed in, wearing a wide grin. "It was depressing watching you two basically dodge away from the other."

I watched Xion, give Roxas a scolding look, wagging her finger in front of his face. I couldn't help but smile. Xion; she was such an amazing person. And I owed her so much despite the fact that I barely knew her.

Maybe I could be friends with her. Maybe we could even be close friends. Maybe even be close friends with Namine. My attention shifted to said blond. She was toying with her food idly, sighing dejectedly.

I was about to open my mouth again when something caught my eye – or someone. The familiar messy brown head and blue eyes.

Sora stood a few feet away from our table, gazing at me with a bewildered expression. His eyes flashed between Roxas and I; I quickly untangled my hand from his. It was an odd moment, while we stared at each other. But all too soon, Sora shook his head and stormed towards our table with a furious expression.

"Sora!" I blurted out, as he neared. He ignored me, brushing past me.

"Kairi…" Roxas started.

"Namine," Sora called out.

"Sora?" Namine asked, looking at him confusedly, as he stopped in front of her.

"Xion!" Xion piped in, looking around excitedly.

Before anyone could tell her to shut up, Sora pulled Namine up by the arm. Her blank stare soon transitioned to one of deep confusion and a little guilt. Her blue eyes flickered over to me in a pleading expression and I just blinked at her, looking just as confused.

He gazed at her, before turning his head back at me. A small dark smile graced his lips. One that made me shiver uncomfortably.

"Sora what are you-"Namine started as he turned back and pulled her closer.

I watched completely horrified as he tilted her chin upward and pressed his lips against hers.

x.X.x

**Dun Dun Duh! *Cliffhanger alert, cliff hanger alert* And so the Drama ensues T_T**

** Lol sorry guys D:**

**I'm torturing you guys, huh?**

**Well the good thing is, be expecting a quick review, because I've already started writing the next chapter. Also be expecting _Roxiri _in future chapters.. Trust me, there's a lot more to why Roxas decided to talk to Kairi today.**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW (please and thank you)  
**


	29. Chapter 28

**Ah, my reviewers! I'm so sorry. Don't ever listen to me. I'm all talk and no walk -or whatever the saying goes. Anyway, initially I wanted to post this up Saturday morning, but my internet crashed. I'm so sorry. I wanted to dedicate this whole labor day weekend to updating, but I'm afraid that's not going to happen :(**

**What should I say about this chapter? Um well for once there isn't that much drama. Again, it's sort of like a filler chapter. Lol and I'm really milking it with the Roxiri. But I can't help it. I haven't written Roxiri in a long time...getting tired of sokai **

** Urg, I'm scared the internet is going to disconnect as I'm typing up this disclaimer. I'm freaking out right now because any second it could disconnect... DX**

**So I'm just going to end this now. Enjoy enjoy **

**:D :D**

x.X.x

"Oh _come on_ Kairi!"

"No, I don't want to!" I snapped.

Xion glared at me with a pout, her arms crossed over her chest. "Why not?"

"Xion, I don't know if you know this, but he kissed my best friend. _In front of my face!_" I blurted out.

"Yeah I was there," She said wincing slightly.

It had been exactly three days since that incident. I felt my insides twist bitterly, as I remembered what happened.

x.X.x

It was five seconds. The kiss I mean. It lasted exactly five seconds. And yet, it felt like hours. Time seemed to slow down- and not in the good way.

For the first three seconds Namine looked utterly confused, blinking her blue eyes rapidly. On the fourth second realization set in and by the time the fifth second went by, she shoved him away and slapped him across the face.

When he recoiled, his fingers immediately flew to his lips. Namine glared at him- but it was the same halfhearted glare she gave me. Her lips were pressed into a firm line as she grabbed her things and stormed out of the cafeteria.

I wasn't that conscious of her or anything really for that matter after she slapped him. My eyes fell on the floor, concentrating on the black and white tile. Anything to keep my head into focus. That was the first step; controlling my thoughts- then my tear ducts wouldn't react. The last thing I wanted to do was cry in front of a whole lot of nosy strangers.

But holding back the tears didn't prevent the gut wrenching feeling of someone shoveling out a piece of my chest. Shoveling, dumping out, shoveling, dumping out- it was never ending. The pain was so great that for a split second I forgot what happened, where I was- who I was.

Suddenly a warm arm wrapped around my shoulder and tugged me towards the sense of warmth. The crisp smell of winter fresh flooded through my nose. I blindly tore my eyes away from the checkered floor to meet _his_ grim expression.

His dark blond eyebrows were knitted together, creating a deep crease between his brows. His lips pulled downward into a frown. Those blue eyes stared at me with deep bottomless worry.

"Kairi…" The other one's voice spoke. I felt my body stiffen against Roxas's arm as the reality came back to crash down on me. I bit the inside of my cheek, gluing my gaze on the blond holding me. Speaking of whom, was staring at the source of the new voice with a furious expression.

I heard footsteps come nearer, and then Roxas roughly pushing me behind him.

"Go away," He growled, his arm twisted around my back to clutch my hand. I didn't know what to do with it, so I just let it lay limp in his.

"Kairi…" The voice repeated- Sora, his voice breaking unevenly. I couldn't even feel hints of forgiveness or sympathy towards him, when all I could picture was that last smirk he gave me before he kissed Namine.

_He kissed Namine._

The thought still sounded alien in my head.

"I am so… so sorry..." He started. I strained my eyes harder on Roxas- anything but on the person addressing me. My eyes scanned his expression, noticing the shift of anger and pity back to fury and disgust. I wanted to reach out and calm him. But I repressed the urge, partly because I didn't want another scuffle to break out, but mostly because I didn't think I had control over my hands or arms at this moment.

I heard someone else's shuffling footsteps- lighter than Sora's- but I could still hear the stomping.

"I think you should go." I recognized Xion's grave voice so unusual from her chipper chiming.

"Kairi…I…" Sora gulped audibly. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

x.X.x

I blinked, pulling myself away from my thoughts to find Xion waving a hand in front of my face. A mixture of curiosity and amusement was plastered across her face as she tried to get my attention.

I came to, shooting her a small grin.

And in that three day span a lot things transpired; the first being Xion. If it was unavoidable or not, the two of us became really close. It was strange. I had only known her for a week, and yet it felt like I had known her longer. Years even.

It was just so easy to be her friend.

The second change would have been Sora and Namine. Ever since Wednesday, she wouldn't talk to me. Every time we'd pass through the hallways, her face expression would crumple into one of embarrassment and never ending guilt. I wished she wouldn't do that. I mean I didn't blame her for what happened. But she was treating it as if it was her whole fault Sora decided to…

There wasn't anything going on between them. Believe me. I don't think Namine appreciated being used…_again_. Ironic how she could be so strong about that and yet be completely pathetic with Riku.

Anyway, ever since Wednesday, Sora had the decency to call me like crazy. He'd use any opportunity to try to talk to me in the hallways. Yesterday he even tried to follow me home. But I refused to talk to him. I was still mad and hurt. Who wouldn't be? Honestly.

My chest sank as I thought about him. Everything was going good but then he had to ruin everything. At this point, I couldn't see any possible future with Sora, which saddened me a great deal.

"You should at least listen to what he has to say," Xion's voice broke me from my thoughts. Another nuisance to my ongoing problems. Xion, trying to hook me back up with Sora. I mean whose side is she on? Mine or Sora's?

I remember asking her one time and she just smiled at me, saying that she always supported the losing side.

I blinked before turning to her. I frowned deeply, and turned away.

"Why should I? He's shown me enough of what he's feeling." I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Because you still like him," Xion murmured slowly, cautiously, as if testing the waters.

"As if." I lied. Of course I still liked him. I missed Sora. Every time he'd try to talk to me –as much as I was angry – there was always that temptation to just forgive him and take him back. I sighed. God I'm starting to sound like Namine, now.

I turned away from Xion; resting my gaze on the frayed end of her bed. We were both in her room, waiting for a certain someone.

There were still a lot of unpacked boxes stacked in the corners. Her walls were bare and white. She hated the color white- she told me. I made a promise to her that we'd paint her room as a project.

"_He's_ late." I commented after a few minutes of silence, mostly to myself but she heard me. Xion groaned.

"Yeah he is! That punk," She mumbled, flopping down on her bed, throwing an arm over her face. "Roxas was never really punctual."

_Roxas_. That had to be the best change in the three days. Whether I'd admit it or not, I really did miss having him as a friend. That familiar revolutionary change in our relationship that first graced me was slowly starting to seep back into my system. Sometimes I would pretend as if I were back in time, where everything was just so much easier. I get glimmers of that just to escape the reality- if only for a few seconds.

"Really? I don't know. He's seems pretty punctual to me," I replied, with small smile. Xion raised an eyebrow at me skeptically. She sat back up; the back of her head messy.

"Because he's only punctual with you," She sneered. I face palmed.

"He's late now, so I don't think _I_ make a difference. You're contradicting yourself." I snapped.

"Precisely; he _is_ late now, so don't you think that _you're_ the one contradicting _yourself_?" Xion asked with a smirk. I pulled my eyebrows together in confusion, before I cried out.

"That makes no sense." I groaned, throwing myself on her bed. Before she could retort (she had her mouth open) the bedroom door flew open, revealing the blond we'd been waiting on.

"Roxas!" I exclaimed brightly, sitting up. His face flushed as he looked down. I inwardly cursed at myself, for sounding too excited. Of course I'd give him the wrong impression.

He coughed uncomfortably, holding his skateboard tightly at his side. I noticed he wasn't graced with the presence of the infamous skating pads. I thanked my lucky stars for that. I swear I would have thrown a fit if I had to wear them.

"Sorry I'm late," He mumbled. "I ran into a little…" He trailed off, his blue eyes flashing towards me for a second. "Problem."

He turned away before I could question it. His lips pulled into a grin, but I could see the discomfort in his blue eyes.

"Well you're here now," Xion interrupted, jumping up from her seat. "Come on! Hurry, I wanna see this." I turned away from Roxas and scowled at her, lifting myself up. Today was the day I would start going back into my skateboarding lessons routine.

Roxas and I agreed to continue, but to my dismay Xion overheard our conversation and insisted on sitting in one of our lessons. I knew this was bound to get embarrassing.

x.X.x

We walked along the drive way of Xion's house to the sidewalk. Xion was humming to herself amusedly lagging behind Roxas and I.

I looked over my shoulder to send her a glare, which she returned with a wide smile. I scoffed.

"She's enjoying herself a little too much," I grumbled quietly. Roxas let out a small chuckle.

"Don't worry; she's worse than you." He assured me.

"Are you two talking about me!" Xion's alarmed voice piped up from behind us. I held in a snicker, before shaking my head.

Once we reached the street, I plopped my board down on the cement nervously. It had been a long time since I'd been on this cursed skateboard. I resisted the urge to gulp out loud. Roxas noticed my apprehension because he placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Kairi, it's ok. Think of it as riding a bike; no one ever forgets how to ride a bike." He said persuasively. I nodded my head in agreement.

Yeah, no one except me. I didn't even know how to ride a bike.

I peeked at him.

"What?" He probed, raising one of his eyebrows. I looked away.

"No pads?"

Roxas's lips tugged into a teasing smile, as he bent down and scooped his helmet off the floor. Without any hesitation he placed it on my head. "No. I think you've graduated from the pads."

"But not the helmet?" I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest.

"No way! Safety first right Roxas? Don't want Kairi brains spilling out of her head and on to the curb now do we?" Xion chimed in, giggling. I grimaced at the mental picture she painted, before sending her a curse.

Roxas ran a hand through his windswept hair before laughing. "Right," He agreed. "Speaking of safety, you should go get the first aid kit Xion. I think we're going to need it."

She jumped to her feet on cue, pulling her eyebrows together and forming a serious pout. Her right hand rose to her forehead in a salute. "Aye aye Capitan!"

I watched her dash back into her house, before turning back to Roxas. He was gazing amiably in her direction as well. His lips were pulled up into a peaceful serene smile. His blue eyes were swimming with content. I felt myself bubble in happiness.

Roxas's eyes flickered over to me and glazed over with skepticism.

"What is it?" He asked, crossing his arms over his chest sending me a sullen pout. I laughed shaking my head.

"It's nothing."

"Tell me!" He demanded. I coughed uncomfortably and scratched the back of my head awkwardly. It took me a moment to realize what I was doing and where I picked up that habit from. Flushing angrily, I crossed my arms together.

Roxas raised an eyebrow at my behavior quizzically. I shook my head and sighed.

"It really is nothing…" I muttered. "It's just- you seem very happy. And I haven't seen you this way in a very long time."

"Is that it?" He asked.

"She makes you happy doesn't she?" I laughed, nodding my head in Xion's direction. Roxas uncrossed his arms and stared at me peculiarly.

"Yeah I guess she does…" He started; the same weird look was plastered across his face. I smiled despite his gaze.

"She makes me happy too." I murmured, turning away from him.

"It's not just her though," He disagreed. His voice was much closer this time. "We're on speaking terms again."

I forced myself to keep my eyes glued on the street in front of me. Judging by the sound of his voice, I could guess he was only a few feet away from me.

"Yeah, that's probably a contributing factor," I mumbled playfully, slowly moving away. "Shouldn't we get started?"

I swiveled my head back in his direction once I was positive I was at a safe distance. His expression was doubtful, when I met his gaze. I inwardly cursed myself for making my movements not so subtle.

"No." He snapped, walking forward and closing the gap between us.

His hands reached up to my face, and for a second I thought he was going to pull me toward him. The blood rushed up to my face at that thought.

"Roxas.." I started lamely, trying to back up.

"Hold still." He said sharply. I closed my eyes roughly, not knowing what else to do. When in reality I was expecting his lips. But then I felt something tighten around my face and chin.

My eyes blinked open.

"You want to start without strapping the helmet to your head?" He asked condescendingly, with a smirk. I blushed at my stupidity. Why the hell was I expecting a kiss? Out of all things possible, that was the last thing I should expect. Especially after our relationship was severed by an axe- also known as Sora.

"Sorry," I uttered out.

"Idiot," He laughed, hitting the top of my helmet. I cringed as the impact reverberated all along the inside of the plastic helmet. When he pulled away, he kicked his board up and caught it with his hand. I stared enviously at his actions. The last time I tried doing that, the stupid board rebounded off my hand and landed on my foot.

I turned around and rolled my board in front of me, waiting patiently. He raised an eyebrow.

"What?" I mumbled.

"You've got the board facing the wrong way."

"Oh."

If it was possible, my face flushed an even darker shade of red as I readjusted the skateboard. I planted my foot on it hesitantly. I swear the board was laughing at my nerves.

"Ok, now ride towards me," He said firmly, backing up until he was a good distance away. I blinked the hesitation, and pulled my eyebrows together in determination.

Once I kicked off, I felt the gravel and potholes from the street threatening to throw me off the skateboard. Suddenly this good distance away felt like miles. I wasn't even halfway when I rolled into a slow stop.

Roxas face palmed, and hid a sneer.

"Kairi, you have to kick off harder. Jeez did you seriously forget?" He reprimanded.

"Jerk," I scowled, preparing my foot and balance for another push. Apparently this newfound speed and the potholes didn't settle well with me, because I ate it only a few feet into the ride. I felt my skin open at my knees and elbow.

From the distance I heard a loud laugh. Huffing, I sprang up from the concrete to glare in the direction of the laugh. Xion was rolling on the floor, medicine in hand, completely red with all the giggling. Roxas lunged forward to help me up.

"You're not balancing." He scolded, brushing off the dirt from my shirt, and readjusting my helmet. I swatted his hands away, feeling the oncoming flush.

"It's all these stupid holes!" I complained, cringing slightly. My knees were starting to sting. I inwardly cursed myself for wearing stupid shorts. He shook his head.

"Whatever. Do it again." He ordered. I stuck my tongue out at him. I hated when he would get all bossy. Mr. _I-know-everything-there-is-to-know-about-skateboarding_ Man.

"Ok ok," I snapped, adjusting myself back on the skateboard.

I could tell that this practice session was not going to get better. And I was right. Every time I would get on the blasted board I was bound to fall. It was worse than the first lesson. I didn't know what was wrong with me. Therefore I blamed Xion's street.

"You're not doing it right," Roxas said finally. His lips were pulled down into a frown as he watched me fall for the five billionth time. He didn't even bother to catch me this time.

"I'm sorry!" I stammered, picking myself up. I could feel fresh new scrapes against my knees. And a new cut under my chin, after I tried to be all cool and leave my straps hanging loose of my helmet. I'm starting to regret not wearing the damn pads.

"Ew, Kairi, you're cut up everywhere." Xion commented from the sidelines. I resisted the urge to shoot her a glare, it would have came out halfhearted anyway; my knees were burning.

Roxas face palmed. "Let's just end this. Next time I'm bringing the pads."

I groaned out loud, taking off the helmet and throwing it on the sidewalk. I plopped myself down next to Xion on the curb, who was covering her mouth from laughing.

"I hate the pads." I grumbled.

"Yeah, but the pads would have stopped this-" Xion gestured to my knees and arms. "-from happening."

I glared at her.

"Aw, don't be mad!" She cried, turning around to grab the first aid kit. "I'll fix these right up." She opened the lid and started fishing through all the band aids, medicine bottles, and gauzes. "Lift up your chin; you've got a nasty cut there."

I did as I was told, and closed my eyes expecting the stinging. But it didn't come. When I looked down and noticed she was wiping Lotromin Ultra on my cut I literally screamed.

"Hold still Kairi, you squirm too much!" She scolded.

"Xion! That's for your feet!" I yelled, knocking the tube from her hands. She stared at me with a puzzled expression, cocking her head to one side.

"Really?"

"Yes! Don't you read the medicine before you start applying?" I rambled on. She shook her head wearing a bright smile.

"Nope! I usually just mix stuff together and see what happens." She replied truthfully. I face palmed.

I heard a cough in the background, and my eyes fell on Roxas, who was giving Xion a stern look. She smiled sheepishly and jumped up from her seat.

"You know what, I'm no good at this nurse business," She chimed, brushing her backside of the dirt from the cement. "I know what you need. Ice cream. Ice cream makes people happy. And right now you're not happy."

"You think?" I snapped sarcastically, digging through the first aid kit, unwrapping a band aid, and slapping it under my chin.

"Obviously," Xion murmured with a scowl. "I'll be back." She skipped off back inside her house, humming something about _I scream for ice cream_. I scoffed, turning my attention back to the rest of my scrapes and cuts.

I reached forward for more band aids in the kit, and slapped some on my arms.

"You're going to get an infection if you do that," Roxas mumbled matter of factly. I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever." I retorted, continuing with my method. I heard him sigh heavily and saw him pry the band aids from my hands.

"Just let me do it." He said, sifting through the first aid kit, until he found a large brown bottle and antibacterial wipes. I frowned at the substance. I knew it all too well.

"Is that the orange stuff?" I probed, with wary eyes. He ignored me, reaching forward and wiping my knees quickly. Once he was done with that, he gave the brown bottle a hasty shake. I could hear the bloody liquid sloshing back and forth inside the bottle. I'll admit it sent nervous tingles down my spine.

"Bend your knees," He commanded, reaching for gauzes in the box. He flipped open the lid and poured some on the cloth. Instantly the white ball of cloth was stained with that cursed blood orange liquid.

"It's going to hurt isn't it?" I cringed, as he neared with the medicine.

"No of course not." He replied.

"Really?"

He rolled his eyes, and pressed the cloth to my injured knee. Hurt was an understatement. It was hell.

The stinging ran up through my leg and shot down my shin. I couldn't help but let out a painful cry.

"Stop being such a baby," He snapped playfully, glancing up at me with a lazy smile. I felt my face flush angrily.

"I am not! This hurts!" I complained, the top half of my body writhing around as he applied more.

"Whatever," He murmured

He turned his attention back to my knee.

After rubbing the anti-bacterial orangey medicine on it, he put the tissue to my cut, wiping the medicine clean. Before anything was said, he leaned in and pressed his lips against my knee, as if it were the most natural thing to do on earth.

I think it took him a moment to realize what he did. Because after a few awkward seconds, he pulled away, suddenly, looking as if he'd done something blasphemous. His scared eyes quickly flashed up to my face. At that precise second my cheeks burned with embarrassment. His blue eyes bore into mine intensely, causing my heart to beat rapidly. Just that miniscule gesture had my stomach fluttering with butterflies.

"Sorry." He murmured shyly, turning away. I turned away too. How could I get so worked up over this little thing? It was just a kiss on the knee. Anyone would do it. Was it because he did it? Was it because of how weird our relationship became after he confessed his feelings to me? I shook my head. That was the last thing I wanted to be thinking about.

I cleared my throat.

"You know," I started, my face growing even hotter than before. "My other knee hurts too…"

_Oh what the heck._

He stared at me incredulously, as I blushed deeply. His lips pulled into a small nervous smile before he reached down and planted them on my other knee. The warmth seemed to spread all through my leg shooting up to my whole body. And before I knew it, I realized I was thoroughly enjoying the sensation.

"I think I scraped my forehead too," I started. His blue eyes darted between mine, they were smoldering. I chewed my lip, searching his face for a response. His lips quivered into a serious frown, he looked as if he were debating what to do. Which confused me a great deal. Wouldn't he jump to any chance he had with me? Roxas, placed his hands gently on my shoulders, and leaned forward.

He was close. I could distinctly smell the winter fresh emanating from his clothes, his body. His chest was in front of my face. His neck was only a few inches away too. If I could just …

"Hey I brought the ice cream- I didn't know what flavor you wanted Kairi, so I just brought the whole box," Xion's cheerful voice broke me from my concentration. Before I knew it, my view of his chest was gone, the winter fresh scent was gone, and Roxas was a safe distance away from me, looking extremely guilty.

A wave of guilt hit me too. What was I thinking? I was going to end up leading him on again. That was the last thing I wanted to do. I just wanted to be friends. Friends don't kiss each other… right?

"So what flavor do you want!" Xion probed, bringing me back into reality. I blinked, turning my attention to her.

"Er- chocolate's fine." I stuttered.

So all three of us ate our ice cream in silence, watching the gray clouds roll in and block the sun. I frowned at the sky.

"Looks like it's going to rain," I murmured, feeling the warm breeze turn chilly. I shivered involuntarily, wrapping my arms around myself. Xion wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"I hate the rain." She stated, chewing on her Popsicle stick. "It's cold and wet, and you can't play outside."

I raised an eyebrow at her comment.

"Of course you can play outside." I countered. "Getting wet is fun."

"I knew you were one of those people." She retorted sourly, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Huh?"

"Rain lovers." She scoffed. "Yeah it's all fun and games until you're in bed with a fever."

Her glare was still prominent in her expression as she turned her attention back at the sky. I blinked at her confused before looking a Roxas gesturing towards Xion with a cocked brow. He shook his head with a chuckle.

"Don't mind her. She get's crabby when it rains."

I smiled, with chattering teeth.

"The rain is nice. Beats all that insanely hot weather." I stuttered. Roxas studied me, before unzipping his sweater and wrapping it around my shoulders. "Idiot; you're going to get cold and I won't give this back." I teased, pushing my arms through the sleeves. I put the hood on and zipped it all the way. It smelled exactly the same as the other sweater he let me wear a long time ago. I buried my nose in the inside inhaling the winter fresh scent.

x.X.x

When the drizzling started we decided it was best to head home. They insisted on walking me home. And Roxas wouldn't go without Xion, which made me feel slightly miffed. Did he not trust to be alone with me? Of course not, I countered. I mean look at what almost happened earlier during our skateboarding lesson- thing.

"Oh crap, Kairi, I forgot to ask you something!" Xion started seriously, under her sweater hood and umbrella. I had to stifle a laugh at the way she looked, with her huge raincoat, sweater, umbrella, and rain boots. It wasn't even really raining.

"And what is that?" I asked, my lips twitching into a smile.

"Well me and Roxas have a question to ask-"

"Xion not now." He cut in sternly. He looked extremely uncomfortable and if I stared close enough I could see speckles of red across his cheeks.

"Oh come on! I thought we wanted to do this as soon as possible?" She snapped.

"Yeah but…ugh. This isn't the time." He bit back, looking completely flustered. Now I was curious.

"What is it!" I whined, glaring at Xion and Roxas. He buried his face in his hand refusing to answer. She smiled widely, and hooked her arm with mine.

"Kairi, how would you feel if Roxas and I went out?" She asked, with a wink.

I couldn't help but frown.

"Why would you do that?"

"Because Roxas and I lurve each other! Isn't that right, baby cakes?" She giggled, poking him in the stomach. For some inexplicable reason that gesture seemed to aggravate me. My throat tightened and I felt my lips purse in distaste.

"Shut up, Xion," Roxas mumbled, before he looked up at me. "She doesn't mean that."

"Of course I do!" Xion chirped. My eyes narrowed into a glare, before I whipped my head in the other direction. I couldn't help it. The sight of them together made me feel sick to my stomach.

"Whatever makes you guys happy," I snapped, unlatching my arm from Xion's.

"Aww, _Kaiwi's_ jealous," Xion said in a mock baby voice. I pouted, and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Yeah right." I retorted.

"Don't worry I'm not taking your man." She said in a reassuring tone, latching her arm back around mine. My face flushed an angry red, as did Roxas's. "I just wanted to ask you for your permission."

"Permission for what?" I said wearily, still feeling a bit upset.

"To _fake _date Roxas."

"Why do you need my permission for that? I don't care! Do whatever you want." I stammered, glaring at the wet cement.

"Ok, since you put it that way…" Xion said brightly. "I take that as a yes!"

My frown deepened. "Why do you want to fake date him anyway?"

At this her smile fell into a frown. Her bright blue eyes clouded over darkly. Her expression was a mixture of grim and annoyed- I doubted it had anything to do with the weather.

"Complications." Roxas supplied, when she didn't answer right away.

"Complications?" I questioned.

"Indeed. Riku complications." She finally said. "He's been getting out of hand. And desperate times calls for desperate measures."

I wasn't quite sure what my feelings were for this whole fake dating thing. It still had the word date in there, which only confused me even more. What if Xion and Roxas _really_ end up dating? Where would I fit in? We wouldn't be the three amigos anymore. We'd be _Roxas and Xion_- oh and Kairi. Ew. That sounded bad even in my head. Nobody likes the third wheel.

We turned the corner of my street. The drizzling stopped, but Xion still insisted on holding her umbrella open.

I could have always talked to Namine. But she's been avoiding me. I still felt a twinge of guilt at my attempts of talking to her, which were none at the moment. I didn't even put any effort into trying to approach her.

I promised myself I would talk to her tomorrow.

When we finally reached my house, my breath literally got caught in my throat. I stopped short when my eyes caught sight of the painfully familiar spiky head. I felt Roxas pause beside me too. Xion was the only one continuing walking, chattering obliviously.

My eyes narrowed as the brunette looked up and waited patiently on my porch. His arms were crossed over his chest. He looked tense and uncomfortable as he noticed Roxas by my side. I caught a flash of disappointment flicker in his eyes, but it mellowed down when he saw Xion babbling like a happy puppy ahead of us. He knows I wasn't alone with Roxas, I thought, slightly miffed.

"Kairi," Sora started, uncrossing his arms and jumping up from his post of leaning on the beams. I hesitated in my step, glancing at Roxas. His expression was quite unreadable. But his eyes were swimming with anxiety as he turned to meet my gaze.

"Can you…uh- do you have time…." He struggled once he saw my shocked expression fall into a thoroughly ticked off one. My lips pressed into a tight indifferent frown. I crossed my arms over my chest and glared. Sora coughed awkwardly, his face flushing a great deal. He rubbed the back of his head and looked down at his feet. "Do you- er- have a minute to talk?"

I raised an eyebrow for him to continue. He glanced at Roxas and Xion.

"Can you talk?" He asked.

"Yes I can actually." I answered shortly.

"I meant alone." He pressed, his eyes flickering again towards Roxas. My frown deepened and my eyes narrowed.

"What you say to me can be said in front of my _friends_." I snapped, making a disgustingly strong emphasis on the last word.

Sora gaped at me incredulously for a couple of seconds as if determining whether I was being serious or not. My unwavering expression answered his doubts because he looked away awkwardly again.

I glared at him for a few more seconds before averting my eyes.

"Fine. Roxas, Xion." I said stiffly. "I'll see you guys later then."

"But Kairi…" Xion started, her eyes flickering from me to Sora worriedly. I didn't quite understand her behavior. She was the one that wanted me to get back with this guy. Yeah, like that's ever going to happen, I thought.

"Xion, let's just go." Roxas said firmly, putting a hand on her shoulder. Another confusing aspect to the situation; Roxas. He should have been opposed to this idea of my talking to Sora.

Both of them waved and walked off. I caught Xion look over her shoulder at me, with that same concerned look gracing her eyes. I disregarded it and returned my attention to the brunette in front of me.

He was chewing his lip and glancing at me nervously.

"Well? You wanted to talk?" I said coldly.

"Yeah," He said frowning. There were dark marks under his eyes and his tanned face looked unusually pale. My heart sank at the sight, but I held my ground. "You've been avoiding me."

I knitted my eyebrows together. "Uh, why wouldn't I?"

His frown deepened and he looked down at his shoes. "I know, never mind. I just wanted to say that I wanted to talk to you for a very long time, but you wouldn't give me a chance."

"And what makes you think you even deserve a chance." I replied coolly. I noticed his shoulders slump.

"You're right." He mumbled miserably. I felt my stomach knot together painfully, so I looked away from him.

"Is this why you came all the way to my house. To tell me I'm right? You think I didn't figure that out by myself?" I questioned harshly, glaring at the cement. My vision was starting to get blurry. And that only made me even more aggravated. I'd be damned if I let Sora see me crying over him.

"No! I mean there's more," Sora started, anxiety filled his voice. "Kairi what I've been trying to tell you since what happened three days ago is that I'm really sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am, and how stupidly I acted."

I opened my mouth to counter but he held a hand up to stop me.

"I know I hurt you, and that alone just kills me because really, that's the last thing I wanted to do. You didn't deserve it. Neither did Namine. I'm sorry for throwing her into our problems. I already apologized to her. Believe me when I tell you I regret everything I did. If I could go back in time- I would change it. Change it all."

I stayed quiet for a long time. At that moment, I lost my will power. For a split second I considered just running back into his arms and forgetting the whole thing happened. But I shook my head, shaking away all those thoughts.

Sora must have noticed my expression because his eyebrows scrunched his eyebrows together.

"I don't expect you to forgive me…" He started, reaching forward to clutch my hand. And the worst part of it all was that I let him. I didn't even pull away. "But I just wanted you to know. I won't give up on you Kairi."

I pressed my lips into a tight line, and turned to look at him. His eyes were smoldering in the Roxas way – only it was all Sora. An inferno of blue whirlpools. I was drowning in the them. And I hated myself for it.

I coughed, and tore my eyes away from his face before I did anything stupid.

"Go home Sora." I said firmly.

I didn't have to tell him twice. The look on my face made it clear I didn't want to be in his presence right now. He walked off with his hands in his pocket.

The raining picked up again, afterward.

x.X.x

**Dun Dun duh! Idk when I'll update again. Hopefully soon. So until then! DX**

**Next chapter is really :O**

**Just warning you ;)  
**


	30. Chapter 29

**My amazing Readers/Reviewers, I'm so happy today :D**

**Lol, well I think I updated pretty soon don't you think? It's pretty difficult to update... School's a bitch. Whatever. **

**So I got a PSP and the BBS game on Tuesday. AH I FREAKIN' LOVE IT! I'm so in love w/ the couple Ven/Aqua (I already started a story xP)... I think the fact that she's older, just makes the couple very _very_ hot ;)  
**

**Where am I at exactly in BBS? SPOILER ALERT: Well I started w/ Terra's story (b/c he's not really my fav)...and I'm stuck. T_T' Stuck on Xehanort when he takes Terra's body. And I'm playing on beginner mode-just goes to show what a crappy video gamer/player I am. xP**

**Anyway...well, this chapter's nice and long for all you guys. And also you get a little insight on Riku. Hopefully he won't be a super hated character after this. Hope you like it. ENJOY.**

x.X.x

Monday morning was pouring, much to Xion's dismay. Her eyes were dead looking, her hair was unusually poofy, and there were dark smudges underneath her eyes.

"What did you do to your hair?" I asked, with a small laugh, touching it.

"It's not my fault! It's all the dampness in the air! It makes my hair all wild." She snapped, banging her head on the desk. I shook my head, turning my attention to the blond next to her. He was leaning on one hand, staring at her with a smirk.

His eyes swiveled over to me, as I raked a hand through my wet hair. I had to walk to school. Not that I didn't mind – I was just cold now.

"You're soaking." Roxas commented. I shrugged my jacket off, creating a small puddle of water around my seat. Hastily, I hung the jacket over my chair so the teacher wouldn't say anything.

"It's because of all this stupid rain," Xion snapped, tugging at her poofy hair.

I laughed taking the seat next to her just as the tardy bell rang. I dug my hands inside the sweater I was wearing underneath the jacket. It was dry, I noted with satisfaction. The inside still had remnants of the winter fresh scent from yesterday. Oh that's right, did I mention I was wearing Roxas's sweater?

I felt his eyes on me the whole time. With slightly flushed cheeks, I turned to give him a smug stare. He rolled his eyes and turned away.

"So what's the action plan?" Roxas mumbled to Xion, as she tried pathetically to flatten her hair. After figuring out it was a lost cause, she huffed and turned to him.

"What do you mean?" She snapped. His eyes narrowed into a returning glare. He gave her a warning look before she sighed heavily and threw her hands up in the air. "Ok sorry, jeez. What is it that you're talking about Roxas?"

I stifled a laugh at her mock sweet tone.

He rolled his eyes for the second time. "I meant about you and me. How is this going to work?" He probed. His comment made me frown.

I completely forgot about their fake dating plan. It seemed Xion forgot to because she gave him a questioning stare, before cracking into a wide grin.

"Oh right of course, of course!" She chirped, reaching forward and ruffling his already messy blond hair. He jutted his lips into a deep pout, swatting her hand away from his head. "Just sit back and relax babe." She winked, giving his hair another good ruffling (I looked away pointedly), before standing up abruptly.

"Ahem, attention, ATTENTION!" She screamed, causing the whole of our homeroom turn to look at her. The teacher's face flattened in a disgruntled expression as he opened his mouth to scold her, but Xion interrupted. "Romans, countrymen, friends, lend me your ears." She paused dramatically, scanning the room excitedly with her blue eyes. "Ok, now that I've gotten all of your attention…. I'd like to let you all know that- well Roxas and I are now going out, dating, boyfriend and girlfriend, whipped, yadda yadda- whatever you want to call it. The point is:_ he's my bitch_- "

"-Xion!" Roxas hissed angrily.

"-Therefore any _skank_ who tries to take him away-even send him _googoo _eyes will have to answer to me." She finished with an uncanny, bright smile.

On cue, I swear the whole classroom turned to me with accusatory eyes. My face flushed in an instant.

"_What the hell_? Why is _everyone_ looking at me!" I snapped back, crossing my arms and turning away.

x.X.x

I've decided that I disliked this whole fake dating thing Xion and Roxas were doing. I wholeheartedly hated it. It was barely the end of homeroom and there were rumors spreading. I swear that whole school knew that Roxas and Xion were dating- no fake dating. Oh screw it, what's the difference, it still pissed me off.

The three of us walked off to our first period; English. No, let me rephrase that; Roxas and Xion were walking to English, with that tag along- what was her name again? Anyway, when I said that everyone in this school was aware of this new couple, I mean _everyone._ Even Riku.

When we walked into the classroom (me walking rather miserable looking behind the pseudo couple), my eyes flickered over to the familiar people. First person my gaze landed on was Sora. His blue eyes were darting from me to Roxas- who was currently holding Xion's hand. His brows rose until they hid beneath his chocolate bangs.

I moved on to the next person, Namine. She wasn't even looking in our direction. Her eyes were glued to the desk in front of her. The same blank expression plastered across her face. Figures, I fumed before turning my attention to the last person. Riku.

He was absolutely seething as he noticed Roxas and Xion hand in hand, entering the class. His teeth were gritted together angrily, and I noticed his hands were clenched. Sucker. I thought. I guess this was the only benefit to the whole fake dating thing… but I still didn't like it.

Xion and Roxas took seats in the back. Once they sat down, she took the time to ruffle his hair- much to Riku's distaste and mine.

I rolled my eyes, walking away from the lovely couple to take a seat by Namine. Day one of friendship reconciliation with Namine.

I cleared my throat loudly, ignoring Xion's giggling in the background. God that girl really knew how to milk things up.

"Hi Namine," I said quietly. Her posture stiffened at my voice- as if she barely noticed I was sitting there. When she turned her head to meet my gaze, her face flushed darkly.

"Hi," She murmured, bowing her head down guiltily. That gesture oddly enough, pushed away the irritation I was feeling and sent a quiver of pain through my veins.

"Did you have a nice weekend?" I started to say. She chewed on her bottom lip carefully, peeking at me with shame filled eyes. I hated it. It only made me feel guilty- and it shouldn't be that way.

"Yes." She mumbled, toying with the end of her hair distractedly. "No. I mean- I don't know." She sighed, and sunk in her chair in defeat. My eyebrows pulled together worriedly as I studied her.

Her blue eyes met mine. Pain was etched in them, and something else. Something furtive and secret. I knew there was something she was trying to tell me, but I didn't know what. Her eyes narrowed earnestly and I caught them watering up.

They were basically pleading me to understand. It frustrated the hell out of me that I couldn't read her mind.

She blinked abruptly, before her gaze was swiveling slightly behind me. The blue orbs shrank back into previous blank stare. I was about to question her sudden change of expression when someone else's voice broke my thoughts.

"D-do you think I can sit here?"

Sora.

My mind instantly rewound to the day he was waiting for me at my house.

"_I don't expect you to forgive me…"_

Don't turn around Kairi, I thought. Don't give him the satisfaction. I kept my eyes glued on Namine, who was just staring at me and to the person behind me.

"_But I just wanted you to know. I won't give up on you Kairi."_

"Kairi?" His voice probed my thoughts, just teasing me to turn around and look at him. I shook my head roughly.

"Do whatever you want. It's a free country."

"Thanks." I then heard the rough scraping of the chair next to me. "Hi Namine." He greeted politely, that made me think of the beginning of the year. The beginning of all those years I watched him flirt with her.

Namine's blank stare slackened, and I caught flickers of anger flash through it. Her lips melted into a deep frown, and she pointedly turned away with a 'hmph'.

"So…it's raining." He murmured. I couldn't help it. I turned to look at him. His face was leaned on his hand, and he was staring at me. His chocolate hair was sprinkled with droplets of rain, making him look like some kind of commercial icon for Gatorade. His lips tugged into a half smile, as he noticed me stare at him.

I flushed and glared down at my desk.

"It was raining yesterday."… Stupid.

"I don't like the rain." He pouted. I almost smiled. Almost. And that annoyed me even more than seeing Xion and Roxas together. What the hell was I doing? Why was I even letting him talk to me? I should have ignored him the whole time.

I nodded, but didn't reply.

"I bet you like the rain. You look like you've been dancing in it." He remarked. My gaze flickered back to him. He was studying me intensely- which only made me flush an angry red.

"I guess that doesn't seem so bad. It does sound fun to dance in the rain. Right-"

"-_Shut up_," Namine's voice broke out from the other side of me. "Just shut up! Can't you tell she doesn't want to talk to you? Moron."

My jaw dropped at her outburst. Both of our heads turned in her direction, in shock. Her glare vanished and was replaced with a bright flush. She turned away, and didn't look back again.

"Right, sorry." Sora whispered. I felt myself turn to look at him. His face was bowed, covered by his bangs.

And so all three of us, sat through the whole first period in miserable silence. The three of us- tangled in some weird sick love triangle- were miserable.

x.X.x

The rest of the rainy day rolled by painfully slowly. So by the time the dismissal bell rang I was jumping for joy. But Xion immediately shattered my happiness when she told me to wait with her until Roxas got out of detention.

"Ugh, why?" I complained.

"Because, it looks good. Girlfriends wait for their boyfriends." She said simply, reaching forward and ruffling my hair. I crossed my arms over my chest and pouted.

"Whatever."

"Aw look at you all jealous!" She giggled.

"For the love of god, I am _not_ jealous!" I stammered, stomping my feet.

"Sure sure." She said, waving a dismissive hand in my direction.

"Look. I need to get my umbrella. I left it in homeroom." I said, flushing a great deal at her smug smile. I was not jealous. It was true! Why on earth would I possibly be jealous? "I'll meet you there."

"Don't you dare leave without me!" Xion warned.

I was already mumbling threats of abandoning her on my way to the classroom and back. I mean what was the point in my waiting here? I didn't think I could stand being the third wheel any longer.

I sighed. With umbrella now in hand, I trudged back to the spot I left Xion at, hoping Roxas was already out. I wanted to get home. Possibly talk to Namine. She wouldn't make eye contact at all for the rest of the day after that little incident in first period.

I shook my head. I would talk to her today, I promised. I was about to walk around the hallway when a furious voice made me freeze in step.

"Xion what do you think you're doing?" I heard a voice that sounded like Riku snap angrily. I poked my head around the hallway to catch Riku and Xion arguing. He placed a hand on her shoulder. She pulled away roughly, with a glare.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She snarled. They were both sizing each other up, anger was radiating off of them. And what else? Sexual tension? Nah, maybe one-sided I thought as I stared at Riku.

"Why are you with Roxas?" He spat.

"What does it matter to you?" She retorted, crossing her arms over her chest.

"What do you mean_, 'what does it matter to you_'?" He asked incredulously. "It matters. A lot."

"I really don't see how it does." She mumbled stubbornly. He scoffed, slamming his hand on the locker next to him.

"Of course you can't. You refuse to believe that _I love you_." Riku blurted out. I felt like I was watching some intense movie. It all made sense now. Namine _was _right.

Xion's hard expression wavered and for a split second I caught sadness flash through them, but she cleared it away into a passive face. She took a step back.

"How many times do I have to tell you: It. Is. Over." She said slowly. "I'm with Roxas now. So just… Riku, just forget it. It's never going to happen."

On cue, Roxas came walking down the hallway, completely ignoring me as he rushed to Xion's side- which annoyed me slightly but I disregarded that feeling. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder- which annoyed me even more- and glared at Riku.

"Is something wrong?" Roxas asked through gritted teeth.

"No-" Xion started.

"Yeah, actually there is." Riku snapped. "Xion here- and pretty much the entire damn school- tells me that you and her are going out."

Roxas's hands trailed lower until they were resting around her waist- which annoyed the living daylights out of me.

"Yeah. It's true." He lied so perfectly I almost believed it, which annoyed- ok point made.

"I told you." Xion snapped.

Riku frowned, and crossed his arms. "I don't believe either of you."

Roxas and Xion exchanged glances. For one tiny moment I caught anxiety flash through Xion's face. I was freaking out for them too. What if Riku found out that they weren't actually dating? It would defeat the purpose of the whole dating thing.

I snapped too, as I noticed a small smile graced Xion's lips as she glared defiantly at Riku. She turned back to Roxas, pulled him down to her height and leaned forward as if she was going to give him a kiss. _Wait…_

I didn't know what came over me, but one minute I was eavesdropping on the trio and the next I was screaming a loud, _"Hey!" _

All three heads whipped around to look at me. Riku looked confused. Xion grimaced sheepishly and Roxas- well Roxas was looking at me like he usually would. Smoldering, passion filled eyes. But that still didn't quell the anger that was boiling in the pit of my stomach.

What the hell did they think they were doing? Honestly, kissing? They were faking this relationship. They can't kiss. That's like against the rules or something. I opened my mouth to voice my thoughts but quickly I realized Riku was still present.

So I closed my mouth awkwardly, feeling the anger heat up my face.

"Kairi?" Roxas breathed out.

_Oh screw Riku._

"Don't_ Kairi_ me!" I spat out- inwardly cursing myself. Xion's eyes widened as she was shaking her head wildly, gesturing for me to stop. "How could you two do this to me? How could you just pretend to…"

My senses slowly started coming back to me. Riku's lips were pulled into a wide smirk as he glanced from me to Xion and Roxas. Crap. Crap. Crap.

"Pretend to what Kairi?" The prick asked me.

"Uh…well…um.." _Think you idiot_, I thought. "Pretend to have an umbrella!" I lied wildly. "Do you see how hard it's raining outside?"

Xion looked on the verge of bursting out laughing. Roxas was raising a skeptical eyebrow at me, and Riku's amused face fell back into a frown.

"Oh, boy, I'm so sorry Kairi," Xion answered, her lips twitching into a smile.

"No it's too late to say you're sorry." I said in mock hurt. "Just take this and get out of my sight." I stammered, throwing my umbrella at Roxas. Riku looked stunned for a moment before turning his attention back to the fake couple.

He opened his mouth to say something, but the sound of footsteps cut him off. All of our attention was on the new arrival. Familiar spiky brown hair. Tanned face. Blue eyes.

"What is going on here?" Sora demanded, crossing his arms over his chest. His eyes darted from Roxas to Xion to Riku, finally landing on me. We all stayed quiet for a long time, eyes darting to different people, waiting to see if they'd come up with an answer. Finally Xion broke the silence.

"Nothing," She said brightly, looking as if she wasn't fighting with Riku a few minutes ago. "Come on Roxas." She tugged him until they were both out of sight, leaving Riku, Sora and I alone.

Well thanks a lot pals, I thought sarcastically, feeling a surge of anger and irritation towards Xion. She tells me to wait for her, and what's the first thing she does? Leaves me to the dogs.

"Damn it." Riku swore, kicking the locker next to him, before taking off in a brisk walk. Sora and I stared after him.

I sighed, reaching down to pick up my umbrella only to realize that I didn't have an umbrella anymore.

"Damn it!" I repeated Riku's swear, also kicking the locker. Those stupid jerks took my umbrella! How the hell was I going to walk home in this pouring rain now, with only a jacket? Sora raised an eyebrow at my actions.

"Is it my turn to say _damn it_ and kick the locker?" He questioned.

"No." I muttered wearily, staring out the window above the row of lockers. It looked like a storm outside. I mean I liked the rain, but I wasn't up for walking in _this_ kind of rain.

"What's wrong?" He asked, worry in his voice. I literally felt like banging my head on the locker. Why did I have to be the stupid one, and be left with just Sora?

I hesitated. "I don't have an umbrella."

His brown eyebrows pulled together, before he cracked into a grin, lifting up his left hand to show me an umbrella. "No worries; I have one."

x.X.x

Now you're probably thinking that Sora and I walked to my house, made up, and became boyfriend and girlfriend again. Well- that's not exactly what happened. If anything the walk was awkward- you know being under the same umbrella- and uncomfortable. Sora had to keep an arm wrapped around me because the stupid umbrella was too small.

My face was red- and I was torn between shoving him away and pulling him closer. Sora looked at ease the entire time- which ticked me off, but pleased me at the same time. I swear he'd be the death of me.

"This is nice." He mused.

"Yeah, being stuck under an umbrella with your ex, and being extremely cold is _nice_. Very nice Sora." I mumbled sarcastically. He winced slightly.

"I'm sorry." He said. And I knew he wasn't just saying that because of the comment he made. It ran deeper than that. I sighed.

"I know." I offered, bowing my head.

"Kairi, remember what I told you before?" He pressed; I subtly felt his arm tighten around me. I closed my eyes losing myself briefly, before blinking myself back to reality. I pulled away, but not entirely.

"About what."

"About you and me." He said seriously. "About how I'll never give up. I meant it Kairi. I want us to be close again. Even if we're just friends, or something more. Because Kairi, really, you've become someone special to me_. I adore you."_

_Flash of blond. Sea shell bathroom. Winter fresh. Stupid pink dress. _

"Please. Can we just start over?" I didn't realize we stopped walking or that we were already in front of my house. My eyes were locked with his. His blue ones were darting between mine, with a pained honesty. What do I say? What should I do?

"Sora I-I…" I started, looking away. My eyes landed on the surroundings behind his spiky brown head. I didn't have a chance to finish my response because what I saw made my words catch in my throat. A familiar silver head, was calling up Namine's window. Riku.

A sudden gut wrenching rage overcame me. My blood boiled angrily and all I saw was red at that moment. I ran out from under the umbrella and Sora's arm towards the silver head.

"You!" I spat out, completely forgetting that Sora was with me, or the fact that it was pouring or that I was supposed to get home. "What do you think you're doing here?" The prick himself turned around to give me a brief glare, before turning back to the window.

"Hey I'm talking to you!" I said angrily, grabbing a fistful of his shirt and spinning him around. He grabbed my wrist and pried it away from his shirt, dusting it off and glaring at me.

His silvery blond hair was wet, as were his clothes. I wondered how long he was out here. I looked around and noticed his car parked in her driveway.

"What does it matter to you?" He snapped. I clenched my teeth, and glowered back with so much hatred I didn't know I was capable of.

"_What does it matter to me?"_ I mocked furiously. "She's my best friend, idiot!"

His aquamarine eyes darted between me and something behind me. I turned my head halfway to see Sora running toward me. I turned back to Riku in front of me, whose attention was back on me. His cold eyes narrowed. It made me shiver in the bad way.

There was something in those eyes that spelled out danger; it was something I was quite familiar with. Ever since elementary school.

I don't care what Namine said, he hasn't changed one bit.

"Kairi, just go home. It's between me and her, not you." He said stonily

"The hell it isn't!" I growled. I could feel my nails digging into the palms of my hands. I never felt so angry in my entire life. "Do you honestly think I'm just going to sit back and watch you break her into even more pieces, you asshole!" I cried.

"You don't know what you're talking about." He said harshly.

At that exact moment the window pried open and Namine's head popped out. She doubled back, looking startled as ever.

"Namine!" Riku called. He was wearing a small smirk. "There you are! I want to talk to you!"

Namine's eyes widened at this.

"Riku?" She sputtered, blinking abruptly. "What are you doing here?"

"Namine, please, I want to talk to you." He said sweetly. I noticed his tone significantly changed when he talked to her and when he spoke to me. Faker, I thought.

Her eyebrows scrunched together in confusion, before her gaze rested on me. She looked at me pleadingly. I took that as cue to give this guy a piece of my mind.

"Get out of here!" I yelled, prodding his chest angrily. He stepped back and shot me a nasty glare. I heard footsteps behind me, and a hand on my shoulder.

"Riku…" Sora said steadily. He looked even more confused than Namine. Of course, he didn't what as going on.

"Namine hear me out! I just want to talk that's it." Riku started, but I took this time to shove him away. He spun around quickly. "Will you let me talk to my girlfriend?" He spat out angrily. I opened my mouth to retort, my fists shaking angrily at my sides, but Namine beat me.

"What is there to talk about?" She asked seriously, staring at him sadly. If we were any closer to her, I probably would have seen her eyes watering. "What do you want say? That you're sorry? That I should forgive you? Well- well I don't!"

"That's not true! I know you forgive me and you want me back I know you do, Namine. So quit lying to yourself." Riku protested. She looked away from him and her lips pursed. She wrapped an arm around herself.

I stared wildly from Namine to Riku. I didn't know which to go after first. If I left Namine alone she would forgive him, but if I left the stupid jerk alone, he'd manipulate her until she would eventually forgive him. It was a _lose-lose_ situation.

"What is going on?" Sora blurted out.

"Stay out of our business," Riku snarled. His head swiveled back up at Namine's window. "I'm coming up Namine." He turned and headed for her door.

I fumed, watching him make his way towards the front door before I was on his tail.

"Get out of here!" I yelled, latching a hand on his large shoulder.

And then it all happened so fast. One second I was clutching on to Riku, prying him away from the door, the next Riku pushed me off. And the next I fell backward, slipping on the mud, and landing awkwardly on my wrist.

x.X.x

"Kairi…" Namine cried out in a panic, as she flicked on the kitchen light to look at my arm.

"Aw, shit." I heard Riku curse.

"Kairi! What's wrong?" Sora's voice probed.

I glared at my limp arm, covered in mud- and a little blood.

"Can you move it?" Riku's voice hit my ears again.

"I don't know. It hurts." I stammered. Riku bent in front of me, examining my arm. I attempted to pull it away from his view, but I cringed as the stabbing feeling shot up my arm.

"Broken." He murmured to himself.

"Broken?" I half gasped.

Namine gasped too, before rounding on Riku. "Broken? You broke her arm! Kairi's arm is broken? How could you? You stupid, arrogant, self-indulgent bastard! You could have killed her! Broken arm! Oh my god! Kairi! Kairi! Please tell me you're ok?"

"Relax Namine." Riku said calmly, although I was pleased to see the displeasure at her insult. Namine was only half aware of his attempt at reassurance. She jumped from her seat, pacing all through the living room. Her hands in her mouth as she bit her nails. I knew she was really worried then. She hates nail biting- with a passion.

"We have to call you're mom- yes. That's good. She'll know what to do. Oh god, how am I going to tell her Kairi's arm is broken? She'll kill me. She'll kill Riku first, then me- or maybe Sora first. I don't know! Ah, but Kairi needs help. Now. Oh jeez what am I going to do!" Namine rambled off in the background, tugging at her hair. She looked like a mental case, I would have voiced my thoughts and laughed, but my arm felt like I was on fire.

"No. No time. I'll take her." Riku volunteered.

"No way!" I blurted out.

"Then I'm going." Sora said fiercely. Sora. I almost forgot that he was here too. Riku spun around to glare at him.

"No you stay. Calm this one down." He said, thumbing towards Namine. "Plus someone needs to be here to let her parents know what happened."

Namine stared at me, and then at Riku, looking completely torn. Finally she sighed, bowing her head.

"Ok." She sighed again. "Thank you Riku."

He smiled- no smirked, leaning down and pressing his lips to her forehead. I gagged out loud, and aimed a kick at the back of his legs.

"Hell no! I'll be damned if you take me!" I screamed out stubbornly. "This lunatic broke my arm! And you're going to leave me alone with him!"

"Kairi's right," Sora defended just as angrily, standing between me and Riku.

"It was an accident," Riku seethed.

"Says the guy who practically beat Namine!"

The room instantly fell into a chilly silence. Riku's head spun to Namine- who flinched at his sudden glare.

"Who told you that lie?" He snapped, his eyes were still on Namine. Sora looked at me seriously, and back to Riku.

"Riku wouldn't hurt Namine. Would you?" Sora protested, searching his eyes for an answer.

"I wouldn't."

x.X.x

So I was ruled out by the majority. Turns out everyone was against the injured person and I was sent to the hospital with Riku. But I didn't go down without a fight. I swear they had to half carry and half drag me into the prick's car.

Namine and Sora promised to meet me there once my mom got out of work. But I still scowled at them, as Riku and I drove off in the storm.

The whole drive was agonizing.

Riku's eyes were trained on the wet road ahead, so I sat down fuming. I couldn't even cross my arms over my chest.

"Stop giving me a dirty look; I'm taking you to the hospital aren't I?" He snapped, making a swift turn.

"I still don't like you," I snapped back. Riku rolled his aquamarine eyes and scoffed out loud. I glanced at his hands on the steering wheel.

"Whatever," He mouthed, reaching forward to the glove compartment- causing me to shrink against the door- to pull out a box of cigarettes. He flipped the pack open with one hand and stuck one in his mouth. I stared at him warily.

He regarded me with a raised eyebrow.

"Does the little princess want a smoke?" he probed, with a smirk.

"I don't smoke. I'm not an idiot." I growled, turning away from him. But the sudden shift of place made me cringe. I held my arm in an awkward position up to my chest. "And I don't want a death sentence."

"It'll calm you down." He said.

"No it won't. It's a stimulant, idiot!"

"Chicken wuss," He muttered. I felt my blood boil angrily as I reached forward and snatched one away from him. The stick felt heavy in my fingers as I tried to light it up with my left hand. Riku sniggered, taking the lighter away from me, and lighting up the cigarette. The first reaction I got is to cough out loud.

My face flushed in embarrassment as I tried to hide my obvious discomfort. It tasted bad. Like I just ate an ashtray or something.

"Typical," He remarked with a grunt. I frowned angrily, boldly taking a suck of the death stick, only to go into another round of coughing. "Just give me that already."

He leaned toward me and plucked the cigarette from my fingers. "Don't know why I even offered one to you." He murmured to himself. Another long silence passed. Of Riku taking drags- making the whole car smell like an ashtray- and me staring out the window- at anything besides this stupid prick driving.

But despite my aversion, I ended up turning to him to shoot him a hard glare. His lips were pulled into a tight forced smile, as he hummed to the radio. Gaga. Seriously?

When we finally pulled up into the parking lot of the hospital I couldn't take it anymore.

"I don't understand you at all," I admitted stubbornly, glaring at him. He stopped the car, his silver head turning to face me. I couldn't see his expression fully because of the bangs in his face.

"What is there to understand?" He snapped.

I glowered at him, with a deep frown. "Leave Namine alone."

At first his expression was unreadable. His lips remained in a tight line. Finally he sighed and turned away, running a hand through his hair.

"She doesn't want me to leave her alone." He said simply. I shifted in my seat to attempt to give him a better looking threat but the pain from my arm shot through, making me sink back down in my seat. "Don't move idiot, you're going to hurt yourself again."

"You're the one that pushed me."

"You're the dumb ass who landed wrong."

I rolled my eyes, glaring out the window. I heard him sigh heavily, "I'm sorry about that. Really."

I scoffed.

I felt the car move slightly with his movements. Suddenly I felt a hand clamp my shoulder, making my head whip back quickly.

Riku was only a few feet away from me. His expression was absolutely serious. There was no smirk gracing his annoyingly full lips.

"I know you don't like me much." He started.

"You think?" I snapped sarcastically.

"And I don't blame you," Riku continued, disregarding my remark. "If I were you I wouldn't trust me either. I'd do anything in my power to stop Namine from getting hurt…"

"So then just stop!"

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Kairi. I'm not you." He murmured turning away to glare out the window. "I'm not the good guy. And I definitely don't do the _right_ things."

"People perceive me as this good looking tough guy. And I know you think I'm the biggest jerk on earth. Again, I don't blame you because you're absolutely right. I am a jerk. Always have been, and probably always will be. I'm only human. We're bound to make mistakes."

"_I'm_ only human. We're also bound to do random acts of kindness too. Don't use that as an excuse!" I said sharply. Riku bowed his head and let out a deep chuckle.

"Ah, you've got me again." He laughed, leaning back in his seat. It stayed quiet for a few seconds, of him staring at the steering wheel and me sizing him up. Why wouldn't I get out of the car already? My bottom firmly stayed put on the seat.

"I still don't understand you." I muttered honestly. "I know you're a prick and what not, but don't you think there's a limit? Is there no end to your selfishness?"

He pursed his lips, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. He nodded thoughtfully.

"I suppose there is a limit. But I choose to pass it." Riku replied. "Practically my whole life there was only one thing I ever wanted. And I'll do anything to get it."

My face hardened as I caught admiration flash through his expression. His head turned slightly to face me.

"And what would that be?" I questioned condescendingly.

His lips pulled into a smile- a genuine smile. I was so caught off guard I almost gasped.

"Xion." He said simply.

My eyebrows pulled together, and I felt my lips fall into a deep frown. A surge of annoyance filled my body and I resisted the urge to knock him in the head.

"She doesn't want you," I said evenly, glaring at him. "Stop harassing her."

"I don't expect you to understand, Kairi." He said, with a small smile. 'Kairi; the girl who refuses to love even if it's staring her right full in the face."

I literally gasped out loud, my jaw dropping. His expression didn't waver. The smile was still held in place as he regarded my surprised expression.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I mumbled in a small voice, feeling my throat clog up. Why was it getting harder to breathe?

"Oh I think you do." He pressed, raising an eyebrow. "You've got a pretty good life. Good friends. Everyone loves you. You thought you had it so hard didn't you? You're problems aren't nearly as bad as everyone else's in this world. Your best friend steals your crush. So what? Oh? Don't look shocked. What, you thought you hid your emotions well? Please, princess, anyone could read you like a book."

He reached into the dashboard, plucked a cigarette from the box and popped it into his mouth.

"I saw the way you looked at our precious little Sora and the way he'd ignore you for Namine. It was rather amusing. And don't get me started on _Roxas_." At this his lips pulled into a deep frown of distaste. I could see the resentment flashing through his semi-covered eyes. "You could practically see it in his eyes that he loved you. See all along you thought I was just somebody in the background right? Oh, but it wasn't until I squeezed myself into your life, by screwing with your best friend."

He laughed softly, pulling the lighter up to his cigarette and lighting it. I watched as he blew out a smoke cloud, still amused. My blood boiled angrily.

"Ah Namine, poor little naïve Namine. I couldn't tell you how easy it was woo her." He mused to himself.

"Shut up!" I snarled.

"You see! Now you're super attuned to all of my actions because of my little link with Namine." He sighed heavily. "She's too sweet for her own good. I almost feel guilty for doing this to her. But it's like chess yknow? Sometimes we've got to sacrifice our pieces to keep going."

I gritted my teeth angrily, just glaring at him. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand hearing him talk about Namine like she was some kind of tool.

"She's not a- a chess piece you asshole!" I stammered. Riku frowned at my outburst, before shaking his head and stubbing out his cigarette. Now I don't know much about them but I think that was just a waste of death stick.

"You don't get it Kairi." He said patiently. "I'll risk everything to get to the other side of the chess board. To get to the king. I don't care how many pieces are taken in the process- I want to win."

"And if you don't?"

"I don't know."

"Some plan you've got there." I snapped back spitefully. He chuckled at my tone.

"You're very lucky Roxas isn't like me." Riku whispered so quietly that I had to turn and look at him. "Roxas- I know how he feels. We've gone through the same thing. And yet, he didn't turn out like me. I hate him. How does he go on? How does he go on knowing that you might possibly just not love him? I _hate_ him."

I looked away angrily. What was it that I was feeling? Sympathy? For this pathetic sack of dirt? No, that wasn't possible. Namine sprung from my thoughts and instantly that inkling of a feeling vanished in a second.

"You know, if you didn't hate my guts, we could actually be good together." He noted, with a small smirk. I pursed my lips and turned away.

"That's a snowball's chance in hell…idiot."

There was a silence, until Riku broke it with a strained voice.

"I need her, Kairi." He said in a quivering voice. "Xion; she's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Whenever I was with her, she made me feel different. Like a better person. I felt just…normal for once. I wasn't a bully or a jerk- I was just Riku. A Riku I never knew I could be."

I turned back to look at him because the tone of his voice really shocked me. What I saw shocked me even more. His lips were trembling, and he hand a hand on his forehead- his elbow was leaning on the steering wheel.

For one brief second I caught a glimpse of a boy- one all too familiar- with silver hair and the most meanest face than any bully- except he didn't look intimidating. He looked broken. Crushed. Kind of like the time where I found out Santa Claus wasn't real.

For one small moment I pictured that same little boy going home- dreading going home. Only because his home didn't feel like a home to him. Something bad would happen everyday- almost everyday. And the boy would come to school the next day with bruises all over him. Everyone thought he looked tough with the bruises. Everyone just assumed he was off fighting other kids because he was a jerk. At school, he'd bully everyone especially a blond girl. Just because he could. Just because he didn't know what else to do. Just because no one knew how much he was suffering inside.

And for one split second, I understood. I got it. And for one split second, I felt sorry for him.

"Abused; you were abused." I whispered, my eyes were still as wide as saucers as I studied him. His head snapped up, the brutal look was back in his eyes. His lips were pulled into a tight line as he glared at me. The coldness of his glower made me shiver uncomfortably. I recognized the look he was giving me. Just like when we were kids.

His eyes narrowed. But behind that brutal tone, I caught a mixture of pain and fear swim through it.

"Get out." He said evenly, but I could subtly hear his voice breaking. I was frozen in my seat. "Get out of the damn car."

He was beginning to shove me out. The pain in my arm shot up as I jumped out of the car hurriedly. I knew I struck a nerve as I turned to look at him. That expression was still on his face.

I cracked him and for that I couldn't help but feel smug.

"Hey." I called out. He ignored me, keeping his eyes glued to the steering wheel. I bent down to get a better view. "_Check mate_, asshole." I sneered, before slamming the door. Maybe I was a bit too harsh. He drove off in a hurry, but I think I distinctly heard him mumble a few curses in my direction.

No one messes with Namine. No one.

I laughed spitefully, watching his car disappear. He didn't win this time. Slowly I started to realize I didn't win either. I was just a girl- with a broken arm, standing in the middle of the hospital's parking lot in the rain.

But boy did I feel like a winner.

x.X.x

**Dun Dun DUH! What will happen next? LOL, well... there you have it folks. I'll try to update soon, but I'm not making any promises...especially now that I got BBS...(freakin love this game)  
**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW.  
**


	31. Chapter 30

**My lovely reviewers :D I updated; I'm not dead! Haha. Well there's been a lot of things going on, that's why I haven't been able to update as soon as I would have liked to. But mostly it was procrastination and lack of inspiration :( I could tell you right now, this chapter was so hard to write T-T. It took A LOT out of me. And it's total utter crap. I hate it.**

**Anyway, about this chapter... uh well, blah, I don't like it. It's just eh. Kind of choppy. But I needed to get this one done already to get to all the juicy stuff. Lol. Also there's a bit of a love triangle in this, so be prepared. And fluffy-ness (sort of)**

**WARNING: There's a bit of language as well. But it's probably nothing you little potty mouths haven't heard ;)  
**

**Eh, enjoy.**

**I DON'T OWN KH BLAH BLAH BLAH  
**

x.X.x

There was a soft knock on the door, before it was opened.

"Kairi?"

I sighed and rolled over on my back, to find a worried looking blond girl standing in my doorway. My gaze lowered towards her arms which were packed with books.

"I brought you're homework." Namine started to say, walking slowly towards my bed. I noticed her face was slightly flushed and she looked out of breath. Probably ran over here, I mused, taking in the backpack that was slung across her right shoulder. She dropped the books on the edge of my bed, making the springs squeak loudly.

"I could help, you know, if you want." She continued. At that moment her eyes fell to the cast on my arm. I followed her line of sight and glared at my right arm.

The doctor's visit would be forever ingrained into my memory. It was one hospital visit I would never forget. For one thing the doctor was a creepy weirdo-with bug eyed stares- that suggested I invest in a prosthetic arm- later informing me that it was just a joke. Yeah, right. Anyway, the freak's name was Dr. Vexen…or something. And his assistant was just as creepy, with his odd hair cut and short stature. Jeez, who are they employing at the hospitals now a days?

The second thing was I didn't hear the end of it from my mom. I can't believe I still got blamed even when I was the one who got hurt. She kept ranting off on how I was so uncoordinated and don't pay attention to my surroundings. As if! I guess the only plus side of this was getting a new cell phone. Finally. Hopefully this time I won't have a temper tantrum and break it open like the last one.

And third, it was this stupid cast. When it was first put on I swear I felt like Darth Vader when his mask was branded on in episode III.

Apparently I didn't break my whole arm- it was just a hairline fracture in my wrist- which sucked just as much. It still hurt, and I still had to wear a whole cast with the stupid sling. Over the short span of the day, I had to adapt to using my left hand- eating with it, using the remote with it (trust me, it's hard!), and going to bathroom (terrible, terrible). Anyway, it was proving to be a difficult feat. Honestly, I envy left handed people.

Namine looked at me expectantly waiting for my response. I sighed, and rolled on my side. Unsatisfied I ended up scooting into a sitting position.

"Thanks." I muttered.

"Does it hurt?" She asked, her blue eyes darting all over me. There was something different about her- like there was actually some kind of life inside of her. When I didn't respond, she coughed uncomfortably and sat herself down on my bed.

My eyes immediately drifted towards the window. It was still raining- oddly enough, in my case- it was rather depressing. I let out another big sigh and curled my legs upward.

"How was school?" I questioned, still staring out the window. I felt Namine hesitate.

"Uh- well I mean it was… y'know the usual," She said nervously. "You didn't miss much."

Somehow I could detect the lie in her statement, but I disregarded it. I didn't feel like asking her about it. We both stayed quiet for a quite some time before she broke it.

"Roxas asked for you." She stated simply. Subconsciously I tugged at the sweater I was wearing. I still had his.

"Really?" I tried to say indifferently. "And Xion?" I turned to look at her and caught the brief annoyance flash through her eyes at the mention of Xion.

"Her too." She responded, bowing her head to fiddle with the books she placed on my bed. "Did you know that they were- um.. going out?"

That question made my skin crawl. It was almost as if she were throwing it in my face, trying to find some kind of reason to join her anti- Xion parade. Well unfortunately for her, I wasn't buying it.

And besides, it wasn't like they were _really _dating. The thought sent another twinge of annoyance through me.

"Yeah." I said through gritted teeth, resisting the urge to correct her.

_Faking it; they're faking it._

"You don't care?" Namine probed, raising both of her eyebrows. I felt my gaze turn stony.

"Should I care?" I questioned coldly. Her eyebrows fell and pulled together in confusion. She frowned.

"Don't you?" She pressed earnestly.

"What does it matter anyway?" I snapped, turning back towards the window. Namine sighed, and I felt the bed springs lighten as she got up from her seat. I heard her step slowly back towards the doorway but I didn't comment.

"I really didn't come here to talk about _her_." She said. I rolled my eyes and scoffed out loud.

"Why did you come then?" I snapped.

"To bring your-"

"And don't say school work. You've never done that before and I didn't think you'd start now." I cut in pointedly.

I heard her intake a sharp breath. It was quiet for a few unbearably long seconds. I could feel her gaze on me and it only made me wish she'd leave already. She sighed and broke the silence.

"How can you stand her?" She asked seriously. Finally, my eyes flickered over to Namine. Her expression was pained and tired as she stared back.

"Namine, she's not a bad person. I wish you'd realize that already." I answered honestly. "And then maybe we can all be friends."

Namine's frown deepened as she turned away, crossing her arm. Her eyebrows knitted together in a mixture of frustration and confusion.

"I don't know if I can do that Kairi." She admitted. "Riku-"

"Riku! Why are you even bringing him up? Just forget Riku already!" I snarled unintentionally making her flinch. The sound of his name just sent a scorching trickle of anger throughout my body. I remembered vividly the conversation- well argument- we had in his car, before he rudely kicked me out. "He's a stupid jerk anyway." I added.

"Kairi, he took you to the hospital the least you can do is-"

"Yeah, after he broke my arm!"

"Fractured your wrist." Namine corrected.

"Whatever same difference." I snapped back, getting up from my seat. Her arms fell from each other to her side. She clenched her hands, and I noticed how they angrily shook at her side. "The point is that guy injured me."

"It was an accident Kairi." She snapped. "Why can't you just accept the fact that Riku isn't all that bad anymore-"

"Do you hear yourself?" I questioned incredulously.

"I'm not deaf! I know what I'm saying!"

"Oh, just because saintly Riku took me to the hospital- and left me there- he's completely forgiven for everything he's done to you?"

"No, but-"

"Who's the one that bruised you up?" I asked angrily, moving towards her. She backed away- averting her eyes.

"It was an accident and you know it Kairi so don't play that card." She spat back. Her blue eyes danced around with such venom I didn't know she was capable of. I almost flinched.

"Yeah how many more accidents will there be before something really bad happens, Namine?" I pressed stubbornly. A part of me was just begging to blurt out the truth about Riku and where he stood. But another part wanted to keep it hidden from Namine- she'd be devastated if she found out.

Namine's eyes narrowed at my comment, her jaw tightened. Both of us glowered at each other; the tension was almost tangible.

"Nothing is going to happen, Kairi." She said quietly- wearily almost.

I felt myself hesitate, chewing my lip nervously.

"He's using you." I burst out finally. Her jaw slackened and mouth fell open in the ideal _what the hell_ face.

"_Using me_? Kairi listen to yourself- you're just paranoid." Namine shot back with a look of disbelief. "That was a low blow-"

"Whatever, it's the truth." I huffed, attempting to cross my arms, but then forgetting I was wearing a sling. Instead held my left arm closely around my stomach.

"Stop being such a- such a," Namine struggled- her cheeks flushing angrily. "Stop being such a desperate _bitch_." Her eyes averted from mine and I knew she regretted saying that. But it still didn't repress the twinge of annoyance I felt, beneath all the frustration.

"When are you going to get out of your little Namine fantasy world- where everything's so perfect- and wake up? He doesn't _want_ you! He's _never_ going to want you, Namine! I think he's made it pretty clear. The fact that you're still pining over him just shows how stupid you're being. Xion is the one he wants so you should just let them sort out their stuff. No, what do you do? You cry over that pathetic loser and hate the person you shouldn't just because she has something you don't. So tell me Namine, who's the _desperate bitch_ now?" I said, spitting out the last few set of words.

I knew in that instant I had gone too far. But at that moment I couldn't have held it back- it all just came up like word vomit.

_Whatever. She needs to know._

Immediately the anger slipped off of Namine's face. Her brows pulled together in worry- her eyes began to well up in silent tears. I watched as she backed away slightly, and bowed her head.

A wave of guilt washed over me as I noticed her reaching forward to brush her eyes hastily. I sighed, lifting myself off the bed and taking slow steps towards her.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to be so-"

"Save it." She muttered in a low voice. Her head whipped up, with a hard expression. I couldn't see any trace of tears on her face.

"I'm still sorry-"

"Just _fuck off_ Kairi!" She snarled, before turning on her heel and bolting out of my room.

x.X.x

The rain poured harder the rest of the day, as if to mock me. I was only vaguely aware of my mom popping into my room to tell me she was making me lunch. My mind was still trying to process the fact that Namine was angry with me- and it wasn't just those regular little petty fights we'd have. She _cussed_ at me. She actually did.

My mom must have sensed my shocked behavior because I noticed the sappy sad smile plastered across her face. That little gesture seemed to distract me- or at least wake me up from my surprise revolving around my friend.

She walked over to my bed and plopped herself next to me. It wasn't until she started to pet my head that I really snapped.

"Get off of me!" I cried out, prying her hands away from me. The smile immediately vanished from her lips, and melted into an annoyed frown.

"I'm trying to comfort you, brat!" She said sourly. I scowled at her, and turned away.

"I'm not in the mood for this Mom."

"Is it because of Namine?"

The name sent a surge of guilt and anger through my veins. I had to suppress a wince; it wasn't any of my mother's business.

"No," I lied defensively.

I heard her let out a loud sigh. Her hand found it's way back in my hair.

"I'll listen if you'd like." She said softly.

"Listen to me breathing? Because there isn't anything to talk about." I snapped. Immediately a wave of guilt hit me. It wasn't her fault I was feeling this way. That same sad smile spread across her face, as if she knew exactly what I was feeling.

"I could bring you your lunch if you'd like." She started to say, getting up from her seat.

"No; not hungry." I muttered. Her hand was back on my head, and her fingers were twirling inside of my hair.

"Kairi." She said in that irritatingly soothing voice all mother's are equipped with. "Just talk to her."

"I've tried to." I mumbled, shaking my head. "It doesn't work. She won't listen to me."

And I left it at that, because it was true.

I looked away from my mom's sympathetic stares.

Am I just prone to fight with everyone near me?

x.X.x

A few hours passed, and to my utter shock- not really- I was graced with another visitor. And I was incredibly grateful, because she had an uncanny knack for distracting the living daylights out of me. At least for the moment at hand, therefore, Namine was locked in a small compartment in the back of my head.

I peeked over at the said distraction as flopped on my bed, flashing a bright smile. I felt my lips twitch into a smile, before I looked out the window for the umpteenth time. I trained my eyes away from Namine's bedroom window. I didn't want to think about her now.

My distraction was here- currently humming to some unfamiliar song- I couldn't afford to spoil this.

Her humming was soon turning into some sort of mixture of terrible beat boxing, and singing. I rolled my eyes. God, how does Roxas stand her for so long?

_Roxas._

The last time I saw him, he was almost lip locked with this girl sitting on my bed now. What would I have done if they really kissed? I felt a surge of annoyance and anger flow through me. An image of me knocking Xion on the head with my umbrella filled my head.

If I wasn't there? Would they have told me? Roxas would have, surely. He cares about me, and my feelings.

But what if Xion and Roxas really did end up _truly_ going out. What would I do with myself then? Roxas was mine- my friend. The crappy beat boxing stopped.

"Wow." The sound of a breathy laugh broke me from my thoughts. I turned towards the source with a slightly annoyed expression.

Xion was flipping through my phone, snickering every three seconds.

"What?"

She smiled impishly and pointed towards the phone in her hand. "You have Roxas's number on here."

"Yeah so?" I questioned, feeling my neck creep up in temperature. She turned her eyes back to the phone screen and shrugged her shoulders.

"Oh I don't know, it's just, I don't see _Sora's_ number on here." She mumbled under her breath.

"I don't know his number." I deadpanned.

Her smile grew into an obvious smirk. I could see the mischief dancing between her blue eyes.

"Looks like you've got Roxas's number memorized." She continued as if she didn't notice my death glares.

"What are you implying?" I snapped, snatching my phone away from her hands.

"Nothing, nothing I swear." She said with raised hands. I fumed silently throwing myself on my bed, ignoring Xion's complaint as she got knocked off. Serves her right.

"Where'd did you get my phone?"

"Oh relax, Kairi, I'm just putting my number in." Xion drawled. "It's not very wise to have your phone lying around the place."

I scoffed.

It was quiet for a few moments- well speaking wise, because Xion was humming that same tune that was completely unidentifiable. I looked through my phone, searching for any kind of subtle alterations she could have made (she changed my banner to _I love Xion_). I rolled my eyes and snapped my phone shut.

"Speaking of Roxas…" Xion spoke up, at the sound of the phone snap. "He's coming over in a little bit- after he does his time."

I bit my lip, ignoring the sudden urge to smile. Instead I nodded my head in indifference. Xion's eyes rose at my reaction.

"Jeez and I thought you'd be happy." She mused.

"I am!" I countered, but I felt my face flush as she smirked at me. Xion crawled on my bed and laid back down, legs dangling over the edge.

"You should buy a chair." Xion commented, looking around my room thoughtfully.

"That was random." I blurted out.

"Your bed's currently the only place a person can sit in your room." She started, tapping her finger against her chin. Her blue eyes flickered over to me, as a wide grin spread across her face again. "And I doubt you like other people's behinds all over your sleeping spot. Imagine how dirty it'll be by the end of the day. You'd be like sleeping on my butt. Isn't that funny?"

"No it isn't actually. God where do you come up with this stuff?" I snapped. She shrugged her shoulders and resumed looking around the room.

"Like I said, you should really buy a chair." She said.

"Yeah whatever. Guess it makes sense, Namine has-" I stopped short. I froze on the spot as if I'd been petrified.

The name sent a wave of pain and frustration through me. It was like the feeling a person get's right before they rip off a band aid. Immediately my head filled up with that last look she gave me. My eyebrows furrowed and I was only vaguely aware of my lips falling into a deep pout.

Xion must have noticed my slight slip up, because she quickly spun her head around and gave me a questioning stare.

"Kairi?"

I didn't reply right away.

"Yeah." I murmured. She was scrutinizing me, as if I was under a microscope.

"What's wrong?"

I shook my head roughly and averted my eyes. I could feel her x-ray gaze on me, and it only made my frustration deepen.

"Did you get in a fight with Namine?" She guessed.

When I didn't reply I heard her sigh.

"There's something I should tell you…" She started. I turned my head to face her. Her expression was somber and slightly guilty as she stared back at me. "Well, today at school I- uh- saw Namine and um-"

She never got to finish her comment. A loud rumbling came from outside the door. Then a shout that sounded like my mom. Xion shot me a nervous frown, as I turned to stare at the door. There was a loud bang on my bedroom door, and then it burst open to reveal two out of breath boys.

Sora and Roxas both tripped over into a heap on my bedroom floor, both red in the face, and wheezing as if they were choking on smoke.

"Kairi!" They gasped out in unison, and then turned to each other, to shoot a glare.

"Er… hi?" I said shakily. Sora jumped up to his feet first and rushed over to my bed, looking like a crazy stalker. I backed up to the furthest end of the bed.

"Kairi! Yesterday, your mom wouldn't let me go see you! She blamed the whole thing on me! Called me a crazy hooligan!" He breathed out.

"Um, yeah?" I mumbled, shifting my attention to Xion, who was just watching the exchange with amusement written all over her face.

"How are you, I was so worried-"

"Why didn't you tell me you broke your arm?" Roxas demanded, abruptly shoving Sora out of the way. "You're such a klutz! Why don't you watch where you're going! That could have been your neck!"

I frowned and scowled at the blonde, who was scowling back at me.

"Sor_ry_." I snapped.

"It wasn't even Kairi's fault. Get your facts straight." Sora interrupted, standing between me and Roxas. "It was Riku who did it-"

"Riku? Riku did this!" Roxas fumed out. "That guy has a lot of nerve doing that to-"

"Relax, it was an accident." Sora snapped.

"Can you guys, just…calm down?" Xion asked incredulously, shooting me a furtive stare. I turned away pointedly. Sora and Roxas looked at each other- well _look_ was an understatement. They were_ glowering_ at each other. "Did you two run here or what?"

For the first time, I took in their whole appearance. They were both soaking wet, as if they took a dip in their clothes. Annoyance flooded through me as I noticed _their_ dripping clothes create a puddle all over _my_ bedroom floor. Great.

Roxas flushed a deep red, and turned his glare to Xion. "That's beside the point." He huffed, "I just wanted to see if you really broke your arm-"

"Fractured my wrist." I corrected.

"Whatever." He muttered. "But then this idiot had to tag along." Roxas thumbed over to the brunette.

"Hey! You knew I was coming over after school!" Sora protested, crossing his arms over his chest.

Roxas scoffed loudly. "Yeah, after I asked about Kairi."

"Ok ok! I get it!" I half yelled. "You both wanted to see me, good for you."

"Jerk! We were worried!" Sora whined, flopping down on my bed. I let out a shriek, causing all three of them to jump up in surprise.

"What is it!" Xion asked.

"You're wet! And you're on my bed! Get off!" I cried out, shoving the brunette off.

"Shall I get the towels?" Xion chirped, with a wide smile. I face palmed, while Roxas shot another glare at her.

"You stay. I'll get them." I snapped, Roxas opened his mouth in protest, but I brushed by him. Stupid boys. They take everything to the extreme. Was it really necessary to run all the way over here in the rain? Idiots.

I walked into the hallway and threw open the cabinets in a rather aggressive manner. Just thinking of my wet carpet and bed sent a chill of frustration down my spine.

The towels were in a high pile at the very top shelf. Great, who was the genius who decided to put them up there? My fingertips barely brushed the last one. After about a minute of struggling to pry the last one out, all of them toppled over and fell on the ground, in all their fluffy clean glory.

I cursed out loud, kicking the cabinet. Stupid left hand. How do left handed people do it? Seriously. Is there some kind of hand-god they pray to everyday to give their right hand strength? Maybe I should consider polytheism.

I diverted my attention to the fallen towels. When I bent down to pick them up they were gone.

I looked up suddenly to find Sora staring down at me, with the towels in his hand. His spiky hair fell flat against his face, and there was still water dripping down from the spikes, and his face. His lips were pulled into a sort of half crooked smile that was ten times more heartwarming than his wide teeth baring grins. For some reason, he reminded me of Roxas then. Maybe it was because of his half flattened out hair.

Whatever the reason was, I shook my head to break me from my day dreaming. I stood up, and felt my face flush.

"Need help?" He questioned, wearing that same small smile. He reached upward and ruffled his hair so that the brown spikes jutted out, breaking every single one of the laws of physics.

I frowned, before taking the towels from him.

"Thanks." I mumbled. He stood in front of me, stretching out the same arm until it was planted on the wall behind my head. I gulped audibly before backing up.

"How's the arm?" Sora probed, moving in closer. His blue eyes burned into mine. And I felt a cold chill creep down my spine. His tanned face looked sincere as he stared at me.

I looked down at my arm in the sling.

"Could be better." I replied honestly. His lips were glued in that same cute little smile. I felt my eyes dart between his eyes and his lips. And I just _knew_ he noticed.

"I believe I _do_ know how that feels." He said. With his other arm, he pointed a thumb towards himself. "You're talking to the expert at breaking bones."

My face flushed as I let out a small chuckle. But the laugh soon faded off, and I was frowning again.

"What is it Kairi?" His voice was much closer now. I could feel his warm peppermint breath against my nose. His brown eyebrows were pulled together as his blue eyes flickered between mine. I could clearly see the worry etched in his face.

"I'm just thinking." I mumbled.

"You're always thinking aren't you?" He said, his smile faltering slightly, but after a few seconds he stretched them into that familiar wide smile. It took me a few minutes before I realized I said something similar that night we argued.

"I'm sorry." I apologized quickly.

"You're sorry for thinking?" He quirked an eyebrow and that smile fell into that new one. If it was possible, my face flushed an even darker color.

"No. I mean-"

"I know what you mean." He interrupted, the smile fading. "Do you remember what we were talking about yesterday? Before that whole drama?"

For some reason I knew that our conversation was headed in that direction. I nodded once, and bowed my head. I could sense him moving closer, until he was practically leaning over me.

"Do you think we can give it another shot?" He asked. I slowly peeked up at his expression. His blue eyes were practically smoldering as he stared down at me.

"I don't know." I muttered honestly.

"Please?" He pressed, tilting his head closer to mine. His nose was brushing against mine. I felt myself shiver slightly. "Come to Winter Formal with me."

"I don't want to do that." I whispered, averting my gaze from his. But he was so close now, it was hard to look anywhere but his face.

"Why not?" He probed, leaning closer, until he was a few inches away. I was pretty much positive where this would have resulted in.

"I'm not too thrilled to go running back to you right now." I admitted truthfully, causing him to hesitate. He paused, centimeters away from my lips.

"Is it a pride thing? Because if it is, it doesn't matter-"

"No it's not a pride thing. You hurt me." I said with a sudden fierceness, putting a firm hand on his shoulder. He got the hint, because he moved back. "And every time I see you, all I can think about is what you did."

Sora looked away. His lips were tied down into a tight frown. "I'm sorry."

"I know." I sighed. And despite the weird reversal of roles, I reached out and gave him a hug. My left arm wrapped around his torso, and I squeezed tightly. "I miss you too-"

"Then let's just-"

"The timing is totally off right now."

"Then come to the dance with me, as a friend." Sora persuaded, wrapping his arms around me. I was only vaguely aware of the fact that he was soaking wet, and he was probably getting my clothes wet too.

"One problem." I mumbled, pulling away to nod my head down to my right arm. Sora appraised my cast with a skeptical expression.

"Oh, right." He murmured, furrowing his eyebrows. His doubtful expression cleared into a playful smirk as he turned back to my face. "Whatever, casts are sexy anyway."

I blushed a dark red. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh I think you know what I'm implying." He said in a low voice, as he leaned back in closer.

"Uh…"

He stopped suddenly and pulled back. "Too much?" He mumbled, with a wince. I nodded my head and turned away. I felt his hold on me loosen, and heard him sigh. After a couple of seconds he let go of me completely and backed up.

"Does this mean we're friends again?" Sora asked, hopefully. His blue eyes were shining with innocence that it was literally impossible not to smile. At the sight of my grin, his lips stretched, as he smiled from ear to ear.

"Yeah, I guess it does." I said. For some reason I felt a twinge of bitterness overfill my body. Sora and I were friends now, but what about Namine? Did this mean I had to lose a friend in order to gain another one?

Sora noticed my faltered grin.

"You alright? What's wrong? Is it your arm?" He questioned worriedly.

"Yeah it's my arm; it just hurts a little." I lied.

x.X.x

What was only supposed to take mere seconds, ended up taking minutes. When Sora and I walked into the room, with the towels, Xion appraised me with a skeptical expression. Her eyes flashed from me to Sora, making blush a dark red.

But Roxas's face was worse. His eyes harden as he took in my wet shirt, slightly flushed face, and Sora's cheeky grin. When our eyes met, his narrowed subtly and I could have sworn it felt like déjà vu.

When the boys were properly dried- had to borrow a couple of my dad's clothes- things were starting to settle, thanks to my personal distraction. She had the idea of a watching a movie. Funny, she had one with her. For some reason I felt as if this was a set up.

Sora and Xion fought for the duty of making the popcorn, which led to this super long debate in which Roxas and I listed out both of their advantages and disadvantages. Sora won, much to her disdain, but they were both off in popcorn wonderland (a.k.a the kitchen) competing against each other.

That left me alone with Roxas, not that I didn't mind. It was just weird, considering how close I was to Sora a couple of minutes ago. My shirt was still a little damp.

As if reading my private thoughts, the blond spoke.

"See you've gotten pretty friendly with him now." Roxas finally said, spooking me because I wasn't expecting it. I blinked, before nodding my head. I turned my attention back to the movie, hoping that was all he was going to say.

"After what he did to you. I thought you had enough self-respect." He continued. I could feel his hard gaze on me, and it was only making me uncomfortable.

"He's sorry." I replied curtly, training my eyes on the TV.

"Right."

"He is!" I snapped defensively, breaking my gaze from the movie to glare at him.

His eyebrows were pulled together in that same frustrated way he did in the past. His blue eyes were hard and challenging. I almost didn't want to look at him.

"Am I making you angry?" He asked incredulously, his lips twitching into a smirk.

"You're acting like a jerk." I stated. "I don't like you when you're like this."

"Nothings changed then." He replied coolly. I had a weird feeling he was talking about something else, and not his attitude. I didn't know how to respond to that. I wanted to protest and say that a lot of things had changed.

But instead I merely shrugged my shoulders and returned my focus on the movie. Two can play at this game.

I only had my eyes on the movie for a bout ten seconds before he broke the silence again.

"I still think you should have picked me." He said quietly. His voice wasn't angry anymore. I glanced at him, only to see him refusing to meet my eyes. Instantly I felt a lump form in my throat.

"Roxas, please…" I started my head feeling heavy with guilt. "I thought we were passed this already?"

I didn't mean to sound so insensitive, but I really didn't want to talk about this. And what choice did he leave me?

Roxas laughed darkly.

"Right. Of course." He said, almost sounding condescending but not quite. I didn't know how to respond to that so I stayed quiet, returning my attention to the movie on the T.V. "Nothing's changed then." He repeated.

I hesitated.

"Roxas, yesterday, when Riku questioned you and Xion…and you two almost kissed," I started, feeling my pulse race nervously. Roxas eyes immediately flickered over to me, full of curiosity. "I lost it, and almost blew your cover. I'm sorry about that."

His lips pulled up into a tiny sad smile.

"I'd like to think you were jealous, but that's just me." He said. I winced at this bluntness.

"I don't know if it was jealousy or not." I admitted. "But I know I didn't like it, seeing all of that. What if I wasn't there? Would you have told me? I mean I know it isn't any of my business. But I don't know what I'd do if-"

"Kairi what are you saying?" Roxas interrupted, looking at me seriously. I felt my face flush under his gaze.

"I don't want…"

"What?"

"I don't want you to be taken away from me." I mumbled, feeling my cheeks rise in temperature. "And that's just… selfish of me, because you're- you're not mine. I mean not like that, so I shouldn't be feeling this way."

"Kairi, I _am_ yours."

"Don't do that." I muttered, looking away from his serious face. I was already embarrassing myself to death by admitting this.

"So you're saying you want me to give up on you?" He muttered, his voice lowering with each word. I chewed my lip, bowing my head.

"No. I don't want you to, but not because of the reasons you want me to have." I answered honestly. "I just don't want you to go anywhere."

I felt something warm cover my hand, it took me a few moments to realize it was his hand. He gave me a reassuring squeeze.

"Kairi look at me." He said, and when I did I froze, staring at him, while he stared at me. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm here with you."

His eyes were smoldering with this sort of burning passion and I found myself intrigued. Hypnotized even. My eyes raked over the rest of his face. His dark blonde eyebrows were relaxed, making his forehead smooth of any creases. His cheeks were really soft and pale looking for a boy's face and it only increased the urge to touch him. The last thing my eyes fell on were his slightly parted lips.

I felt myself licking my own lips, anticipating another kiss. His kiss. The soft wintery-fresh kiss he gave me what felt like so long ago. In a matter of seconds I was remembering, how smooth his lips were, how warm they felt, what they tasted like, and I was longing for it. Longing for a kiss that he should have never given me.

"This popcorn is burnt!" I heard Xion's voice in the background along with Sora's laugh. "Worst popcorn maker ever! I'm making the next bag."

"No way! You leave all the kernels unpopped!" Sora complained.

I blinked waking up from my stupor, good thing too, because we were both leaning forward towards each other. I cleared my throat and looked down, my face flushing every second.

"Um, sorr-" I started to say awkwardly, but he quickly cut me off.

"Don't say that." Roxas demanded. "Just…."

He paused in his speech. I stared at him unblinkingly, waiting for his response.

"So is this movie getting any good?" Xion asked, plopping herself between the two of us. I was certain she didn't mean to, but at the last second I caught her flashing me a warning look. Her eyes flickered to Sora and back to me, with a raised eyebrow.

I knew what she was trying to say.

_Don't do anything stupid._

I was suddenly very thankful the two of them walked in on us. Sora took a seat next to me, with the bowl full of popcorn in his lap.

"I made popcorn." He said brightly, offering me some of the black puffs in the bowl. I wrinkled my nose and shook my head.

"No thanks." I said. He pouted, before laughing out loud.

"No one wants your nasty popcorn Sora." Xion called from my other side. He stuck his tongue out at her, before popping some in his mouth. I had to hide my laugh at seeing him choke on it.

Xion jumped from her seat and walked off into the kitchen, saying she was going to make "better popcorn than Sora's lame burnt bowl". Sora threw a pillow at her, before not-so-subtly, stretching and putting an arm around my shoulder.

I tried to focus on the movie in front of us, but I was only aware of his arm around me, and the way Roxas moved closer to me. Xion came back in with another bowl of popcorn that looked under cooked. And she had the decency to sit on the other side of Roxas. She flashed me an apologetic face before shrugging her shoulders and turning her attention to the movie.

Sora's grip tightened, and Roxas sneakily reached out and grabbed my left hand.

"_Nothing's changed then." _

Yeah, still stuck in this stupid triangle.

I leaned in closer to Sora, but kept my hand firmly interlocked with Roxas's.

**x.X.x**

**Dun Dun Duh! Lol yeah, Namine and Kairi's fight was essential. It was kind of expected too. Next chapter I want to get into the winter formal thing already. Get it over with. T_T I'm dreading writing it. xP Also finishing up Kairi and Namine's buzzziiinesss  
**

**Uh so because of the super slow update, I've decided to give you guys a little preview- even though this might not be a good idea. (Don't kill me DX)  
**

**x.X.x**

_"So if you can't accept that then maybe… maybe we shouldn't be friends anymore."_

_ "Please. Don't ask me that. You know I'm never going to be able to accept that." _

_"I guess this is it then, Kairi."_

**x.X.x**_  
_

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW DX PLEASE!**


	32. Chapter 31

**My lovely reviewers, I finally had the decency to update, after -how long has it been?- a few weeks? Well regardless of my incompetent methods of updating, I've written *drum roll* chapter 31! :D**

**I'll tell you right now I kind of really hate it. Hahaha, I was dreading writing this chapter as it is. But whatever, I think the only part I liked writing was Namine/Kairi's convo. That was loads of fun. Also this chapter wasn't as long as I anticipated it to be, thank god. I don't think I can handle writing any more SoKai...  
**

_**Completely and irrelevant things concerning the author:**_

**-I saw Harry Potter and shockingly I was..eh about it. Granted, it had it's shining moments, but it wasn't as epic as the commercials portrayed it to be. Whatever.**

**-Found out about that new KH game for Nintendo 3Ds..and wtf! I just bought a PSP you square enix bastards!**

**Anyway, enjoy the chapter ;)  
**

x.X.x

Winter Formal. Just thinking of the event sent a burning upset feeling in my stomach.

And everywhere I walked in the stupid school on Friday, the day of the stupid formal, there were little advertising knickknacks, varying from snowflake decorations, to over exaggerating posters. I sincerely thought I had put this stupid dance towards the back of my head- with Sora and all- but it always found some annoying way to surface.

Especially through Sora. It was enough that he followed practically my every move yesterday, he even surprised me with showing up at my doorstep in the morning. But what was even worse was how he sighed every now and then, in that depressed manner. It's bad enough dealing with this guilt whenever I thought of him.

"I'm sorry." I finally muttered, after flopping down in my seat for English. He was being my personal backpack carrying and book holder for the day- as he liked to call it. After he set my stuff down, he appraised me with a questioning look.

"What for?"

"For not being able to- I mean, I'm sorry I can't go to the dance with you." I mumbled, feeling my irritation slowly drift towards embarrassment under his intent gaze. The confusion in his face smoothed out to that small smile that made my core quiver.

"No, don't worry about it." He assured me. "It's no problem."

I felt my face flush lightly, at the sound of his reassuring tone. Yeah right, I thought.

"Oh ok then."

Silence.

"I just don't know what to do with the tickets I bought." He finally admitted, after a few seconds. At this, he dug in his pocket and pulled out two crinkled admission tickets. I think somewhere along the time of his search my jaw fell open.

"When did you-"

"Like, two weeks ago…" His tone immediately lowered, and he looked away uncomfortably. Yeah, that would have made sense. Two weeks ago we were actually together. We both stayed quiet for a while, sitting awkwardly together.

It wasn't until Roxas showed up with Xion that the nervous atmosphere shifted into to something else- and it wasn't necessarily better, but it _was_ better than the uncomforting feeling between us. They both sat down next to us, Xion on Sora's other side, leaving Roxas to sit on the empty seat next to me. I rolled my eyes at this; both of them are really bad actors.

Said bad actors, greeted me as if they didn't notice the curious stares from the few students in the classroom.

"You came to school today… the last day of the week." Roxas commented, with a raised brow. "You should have just stayed home."

I frowned. "Didn't know I was not welcome…"

"I didn't mean it like that." He smirked.

"Of course he does Kairi!" Xion piped up from the end of the row.

Roxas glared at Xion, faltering and smiling at the end. I joined in his grin, before turning towards the door and the clock. It was only two minutes before the tardy bell rang. Most of the people made it into class by now. There were only a few people still not here.

And I when I said a few, I meant two in particular…

"I've got it!" Sora finally spoke after some time, interrupting my trained gaze on the door. "Xion, you're going to the Formal with Roxas right?"

"I don't do dances." Roxas snapped.

"So I take it you haven't bought your tickets yet?" Sora pressed.

"Nope." Xion said brightly. "Roxas won't get them. Isn't he such a bad boyfriend?"

Ugh. The last word still sent an angry chill down my spine.

Sora didn't confirm with her last question, but gave Roxas such an obvious look of disapproval that you had to be an idiot not to tell that he wholeheartedly agreed with Xion.

"Well you can have mine, since I'm not going." Sora said, thrusting the crumpled tickets into her hand. I stared at the exchange incredulously.

"You can't do that!" I blurted out. All of their heads turned in my direction questioningly. "I mean… Sora you bought those tickets. You should just go- you know- with someone else."

Sora blinked at me with his blue eyes, with an unreadable expression. His lips fell into tiny frown. The dark eyebrows on his face pulled together with concentration.

"There's only one person I want to go with, and that's…" He hesitated for a moment, averting his eyes before staring back at me. "You."

I wanted to feel flattered at that comment, I honestly did. But I didn't. For some inexplicable feeling, I couldn't detect any sincerity in that statement. It almost made me mad. Why is he lying?

I sensed Roxas go rigid beside me. Sora turned back to Xion.

"Keep them. Go have a good time." He said with a bright smile, that wide smile that took up seventy-five percent of his face.

There was a moment where all four of us stared at the tickets in Xion's hand as if they were a death omen. They probably were; they way they innocently lay on Xion's hand, but altogether have an all together ulterior motive. It wasn't until the sound of the classroom door opening and snapping shut did we break from our somber ticket gazing.

Namine walked in, closely accompanied by Riku, in all his asshole glory. It was weird, yesterday it actually looked like there was some kind of emotion in her eyes, but now she was as detached as ever. Her eyes were set in a dead way, as she scanned the room. The bruise-like marks under her eyes were more prominent than before, making her almost resemble a walking corpse.

My eyebrows pulled together as I watched Riku glance over at Xion and try to put his arm around Namine; she roughly shrugged his arm away.

Her head tilted slightly and noticed us for the first time. I caught something flash in her eyes as she stared past me, either at Xion or Sora. But it disappeared as quickly as it came. Riku attempted to put his arm around her again and she let him this time, even smiling at him. But her eyes would constantly flicker back in our direction. As if she wanted us to see.

"What the hell?" I mumbled under my breath, staring as they took a seat in the back.

"I tried to tell you yesterday." Xion admitted sheepishly. "Why didn't _you_ tell me that Namine was with Riku? Explains why she totally hates my guts."

"Sorry." I murmured back. "Didn't know how to bring it up."

I turned my attention to Xion, only to find her, staring at me with pulled eyebrows. Her eyes flashed towards Namine and then back to me, suspiciously.

x.X.x

Riku and Namine were back together? Ugh! As if things couldn't get any worse. I sat through practically the entire day, watching them during my class. But the funny thing was that Namine looked like more of the uncaring one in the relationship. At least Riku made an effort to pretend to be a loving boyfriend- blah, can't believe I said that.

It confused the crap out of me, I'll admit. After my argument with Namine, it was jut way too weird to see her acting like this. Practically every time he tried to touch him, she'd flinch away.

When the flinching started to become excessive, I began to worry. Why was she doing that? Why did she act like she didn't want to be touched by him? Wasn't that the point of our argument yesterday? What if something bad happened?

And apparently I wasn't the only one that noticed Namine's weird behavior, Roxas and Xion were aware of it as well.

Xion still had that suspicious look in her eyes, as she stared over at Namine. I met Roxas's eyes during break. He jerked his head towards the couple, with a confused expression plastered across his face.

"I don't know." I answered out loud.

"Don't know what Kairi?" Oblivious as always, Sora probed through a mouthful of his cheeseburger. I resisted the urge to frown at him. It wasn't his fault after all. I coughed, raking a hand through my hair.

"Um, nothing." I mumbled stupidly, glancing at Roxas who just grimaced at my lousy attempt of covering my tracks. Sora, being observant at the wrong times, picked up our little glance, and pouted. Probably thinking it was something more than it was.

He made an audible gulp as he set his burger down sullenly and glared at his tray. "Oh. Right."

"It really isn't anything Sora." I tried to reassure him. "I just, was thinking out loud and didn't realize I was doing it."

"What were you thinking about?" He cut in sharply. His blue eyes darting towards Roxas, who just rolled his eyes in annoyance. I flushed angrily,

"What does it _matter_?" I snapped.

"I want to know." He snapped right back.

I was wigging out. And I knew I shouldn't have been taking out my frustrations out on Sora, but he was just asking for it. I glared at him.

His chocolate brown eyebrows were pulled in defiance, as he stared back.

"I was thinking about _Namine_." I said angrily, spitting out her name. "There are you happy?"

He flinched immediately, and turned towards the said blonde, who coincidentally had her eyes glued on our table. Her blue orbs danced with this unknown venom as she looked at us.

Sora turned away and bowed his head. "Sorry."

"Whatever."

I chewed my bottom lip and looked away from the sulking brunette sitting across from me. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Roxas staring at me. He wasn't doing anything, but if I looked close enough I could see the tiny smirk playing on his lips.

I would have kicked him, under the table, if the bell didn't ring.

x.X.x

Namine did not sit with me during our next period.

I wanted to talk to her immediately. And I did. After art class was released to go to lunch, I held her back, before Riku could come into the picture.

She didn't protest as I latched my hand on her wrist and practically dragged her into the first empty classroom I could find. I pulled her in, locked the door and turned to her.

She was staring at me, with mild amusement in her eyes- but it looked more like she was mocking me. I glared at her, hoping she'd turn away and go through this long winded apology about how she was wrong, but it never happened. Her mocking glare stayed right in place.

So I broke our intense glowering.

"What do you think you're doing?" I hissed out. Her blue eyes narrowed.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She sniffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Yes. You do." I stammered. "I told you yesterday-"

"No Sora?" She interrupted suddenly. Her lips pulled down into a distasteful frown as she eyed me angrily.

"What?"

"No Sora?" She repeated, the annoyance laying thick in her voice. "No Roxas? Where's your fan club that follows you around hm?"

"What do you mean?" I snapped heatedly. "This conversation has nothing to do with me ok? So stop it."

"Fine whatever. What do you want?" Namine responded languidly. I felt like I had just been slapped. Where the hell did she get this new attitude from?

"What's wrong with you?" I demanded. She snorted, before rolling her eyes.

"What's wrong with _you_?" She seethed. "You're the one that dragged me in here."

"I want to talk to you. Is that so much to ask?" I probed incredulously. She scoffed. "I'm concerned about your… your well being!"

"Concerned?" She repeated, her eyebrows shooting up beneath her blond bangs. _"Oh please Kairi, why don't you just run along and play with your precious Sora!"_

"I _am_ concerned-"

"-Right-"

"-And why are you even bringing up Sora?"

"I'm not."

I stared at her weirdly. Her detached, cool expression slipped slightly, and I could have sworn I caught something, something familiar to me. Something I had seen in my own reflection for a very long time. But I quickly disregarded it. No. There was no way.

"I know what you want to say." Namine finally said, averting her eyes.

"Well let me just say it-"

"I'm back with _him_, Kairi." She said, interrupting me for the second time. My jaw dropped as I stared at her incredulously. The defiant expression was still flashing across her eyes, which gave me a sudden urge to slap some sense into her.

"Don't be stupid Namine. You know you're going to get hurt."

She disregarded my comment and continued as if I hadn't said anything.

"If you can't accept that then maybe… maybe we shouldn't be friends anymore." Her expression was hard, and it vaguely reminded me of Roxas, however, her voice broke towards the end of the sentence. That whole façade she was trying to do, failed.

"Don't do that, you know it's not going to work." I muttered.

"I'm not laughing." She replied coolly, with an uncanny straight face.

I sighed and bowed my head, glaring at the floor.

"Namine," I started. "Please. Don't ask me that. You know I'm never going to be able to accept that." I looked back at her in hopes of seeing any traces of doubt in her expression, but the unwavering mask told me otherwise.

Her blue eyes darted between mine. The frown was still on her lips and her eyebrows were still pulled together. Slowly, I noticed her eyes start water, and her bottom lip tremble. She turned away from me hurriedly, her back facing me.

"Fine." She croaked out. "Fine."

"Fine? Is that all you have to say?" I interjected angrily. Namine's shoulders slumped at the sounded of my voice. Her blond head shook vigorously.

"I guess this is it then, Kairi."

I choked on my words as my throat clogged up. It felt as if someone was strangling me. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't just let her go through with this. She's my best friend. We're always supposed to be there for each other.

_Why is she doing this? Stop, Namine, please._

"I guess." I whispered, staring at the back of her blond head. Absently I noticed how well kept it looked.

_Do something idiot! You're best friend is- is breaking up with you, was that the right way to say it?_

But no matter how much I was against this, I couldn't find it in myself to stop her.

x.X.x

The rest of the day was- well- terrible. It felt like someone had died in the family. I still couldn't fully process the events that had just happened. Namine, my _best friend_, wasn't my best friend anymore. I shouldn't have done that. I should have just done what she wanted me to. Accept that jerk.

_No. She was being an idiot. Once she realizes she's wrong she'll come back begging for my forgiveness. Yes. _

I'd been repeating those thoughts over and over in my head and soon that despair I felt from the loss of Namine was replaced with this aggressive cocky attitude. Because I knew I was right, and she was so absolutely wrong. She was so wrong.

x.X.x

When I got home, my mother wasn't there yet. Thank god. I don't think I could have handled anymore of her attempts at _comforting_ me. She sent me a text saying that she was coming home late. I had a slight temper tantrum as it barely occurred to me that I would have to make my own meal. And currently that was next to impossible seeing as one of my hands was incapacitated at the moment.

So for a while, I lounged around on the couch, gawping at the stupid reality tv trash, biding time until I actually got hungry.

I got a couple of other text messages. One from Olette, basically telling me how much fun she was going to have a Winter Formal today. Blah, whatever. She even had the decency to send me a picture of what she was wearing. As if I cared.

Xion sent me a message, telling me that she was getting ready, also that she was going to send me a picture of Roxas when she saw him all dressed up. I felt my cheeks grow warm, before snapping the phone shut aggressively. Another useless text message.

Hayner even sent me a message to my utter shock:

_Will I look lik a compleet doosh if I donut get Olette a flowur? xHayner_

I blinked at the message for a couple of seconds, still trying to process the fact that _Hayner_ sent this to me. And that _Hayner_ was the one that wrote this. It had to be Hayner to spell do not as donut. I rolled my eyes before typing in my response. What an idiot seriously.

_Yeah. You will look LIKE a COMPLETE DOUCHE if you DO NOT get Olette a FLOWER.x_

After replying I sat around for another couple of hours. The rain wasn't pouring as heavily as the beginning of the week, but there was still a light sprinkle, every half hour or so.

The lull of the light padding of raindrops was making me sleepy, and I would have fallen asleep if my phone hadn't went off. I reached around the couch to find my phone and flipped it open.

_You're not coming? xRoxas_.

No Sorry x

_Wish you were. Xion's h alknt4o 40q2u 0gjowef .xRoxas_

_Hey Kairi! Roxas looks super duper cute…stupid punk won't let me take a pic34gj$#$%9cfh .xRoxas_

_Sorry. Xion's Harassing me .x Roxas_

I laughed. I literally could picture the two of them fighting over the phone. I hit the reply button and started typing out my response.

_Lmao, you guys are so_

The sound of the doorbell ringing stopped my fingers in their tracks. Who in the world would be ringing the door at this time. It couldn't' have been my parents. They wouldn't have knocked. Why would they, it was their house.

I shook my head, getting up from my seat, and slowly making my way towards the door. The doorbell kept ringing impatiently, and the fear was slowly starting to slide towards annoyance.

I peeped through the hole only to groan out, before I opened the door.

Outside, buried in a huge raincoat was none other than Sora.

x.X.x

"What do you think you're doing?" I snapped, after banging the cup of hot chocolate on the table. He took it gratefully and sipped it, before sticking out his tongue.

"Oww!"

"It's hot." I muttered. He scowled slightly, rubbing his tongue, taking another sip. I sat down on the opposite end of the table and glared at him. He shrugged off his giant yellow coat, pulling out a tiny speaker.

"You didn't answer my question." I probed. "What do you think you're-"

"I came to say sorry." He said quickly. "For today, I didn't mean to be so-"

"-Idiotic, immature, needy?" I supplied. He pouted, setting his cup down.

"Not the exact words I was looking for, but yes." He answered shortly. "I'm sorry, Kairi."

I stared at him thoughtfully, taking in his sincerely, desperate expression. I rolled my eyes in a 'you are forgiven' gesture, before turning my attention towards the little black box sitting on the kitchen table.

"What's the speaker for?" I probed, with a raised eyebrow. Sora's expression immediately lit up as he picked up the speaker, and wiggled it in front of me.

"I made you a playlist." He said matter of factly.

"Playlist?" I muttered, confusion was evident on my face, because he jumped up from his seat.

"Come on, listen to it-"

He was interrupted by a loud grumbling sound. I looked down at my stomach in embarrassment.

"Uh.."

"Have you eaten?" Sora asked in disapproval.

"What do you expect? I only have one hand!" I snapped angrily. He shook his head, with a small smirk on his face.

"Kairi, Kairi, Kairi, again, you're talking to the expert of breaking bones." He grinned from ear to ear as he rushed towards my fridge. I felt like I should have objected, but he was already digging through it, pulling out eggs, and milk.

Once his hands were full, he kicked the fridge door shut, set the things down on the counter, and started rummaging through the kitchen cabinets.

"What tricks do you have up your sleeve then?" I asked sarcastically.

"I think I know what I'm doing." He bit back, pulling out a frying pan and a few bowls out as well. Slightly winded, I sat down on the nearest kitchen seat and watched.

"What _are _you doing?" I laughed, watching him break open eggs- with one hand I might add- and whisking them as if he'd done it since he was in diapers.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Sora sneered. "I'm helping out the incompetent."

"_Hey!_"

A few thrown back insults later, Sora had, surprisingly, cooked up a batch of…

"Pancakes? Really Sora? I didn't know you had it in you." I muttered teasingly, before tearing the cakes apart, and warily stuffing them in my mouth. After a couple of thoughtful chews, my face broke out into a large smile. "Sora! These are actually.. _not_ poison!"

His face turned into a pout. "I wasn't going to poison you. Jeez have a little faith in me."

"You ripped that off a song." I said, taking another bite of the pancake.

"Speaking of songs…" He trailed off, picking up the speaker. "Hurry up will you?"

x.X.x

"I don't know what's got you so excited about listening to a few songs." I mumbled a little irritably; I wasn't finished eating.

"That hurts Kairi! I worked on it all day yesterday."

I rolled my eyes, settling down on the couch. He dug in his pocket until he fished out a small, silver IPod. He plugged it into the speaker and started scrolling through the menu.

The first song instantaneously burst out loud, and echoed a long the living room. I clamped my hands over my ears in an attempt to stop hearing the singer's screaming.

"The point is to listen Kairi." Sora shouted over the music.

I knew what the point was, but it was only giving me a headache. I felt a little guilty because Sora was watching my reaction the whole time with a slightly hurt expression. Over the next couple of songs I actually made some kind of effort in showing that I was enjoying this.

I even tried to bob my head to some songs.

It wasn't until about five songs into the playlist Sora got up from his seat, and stood in front of me. I blinked before looking up at him curiously. His lips pulled into that small smile, that made my stomach flutter, before extending his hand.

"Dance with me."

"Uh…what?" I stammered.

"Dance with me." He repeated simply. His head tilted slightly, reminding me of a puppy for some reason, and that only made my face flush a deep red.

"No!" I blurted out. His smile fell from his face.

"You promised me."

"I didn't promise you anything Sora!"

"That's not true. You said you dance a slow song with me." He said fiercely, reaching down, and pulling me up to my feet.

"I didn't…" I sputtered, shaking my head in panic. Sora rose on of his chocolate brown eyebrows, his lips stretching into a smirk.

"Yes you did." He reminded me. "Before we broke up. You promised me one dance."

I think I literally face planted. I don't quite remember, but it made Sora throw his head back and laugh.

"It can't be that hard, c'mon." He grabbed my left hand and put it on his shoulder. His hands gently rested on my waist, sending nervous shivers down my body. He pulled me closer, smiling down at me, and started awkwardly swaying to the music.

I could tell you know we probably looked like a couple of retards. But somewhere along the song, I think I started to dance with him, if you called that dancing.

_/We'll do it all_

_Everything_

_On our own/_

"I can't believe you're making me do this," I muttered, feeling my lips curve into a small smile. Sora stopped swaying for a moment to stare at me. He frowned.

"You don't like to dance, I know…" He trailed off, averting his eyes down to the gym floor. "I shouldn't have made you do this. You're not enjoying yourself-"

"No! No that's not it!" I laughed, stopping in my tracks as well. "It's just, I could never picture myself at a doing this- it's weird. I don't dance. It's even weirder, because I never- in a million years- ever thought I'd be dancing with you."

Sora's eyebrows pulled together as he stared at me.

"Why's that?"

"For the longest I couldn't talk to you, because I had such a major crush on you." I chuckled, mostly at how embarrassed I was at myself for admitting this.

His lips pulled into that small, coy smile. "Is that still the case?"

"Maybe. But it's different now." I said, making his smile melt into a deep frown.

"Right, different." He mumbled, miserably. I sighed, closing the small gap between us, and resting my head on his shoulder.

_/We don't need_

_Anything _

_Or anyone/ _

"Kairi." Sora's voice whispered in my ear. I almost jumped in surprise at how close his voice was. His hot breath beat against the side of my neck; I think I would have collapsed if he weren't holding me. "I've been an idiot. And I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for putting you through all this crap, with Namine and stuff. It doesn't mean anything. All of this doesn't mean anything. At this moment you're all that matters to me right now, and I want it to stay like that."

He pulled back to stare at me. His cerulean blue eyes darted between mine, eagerly, waiting for my reaction. When he finally realized I wasn't about to compose one soon- other than shock- he spoke up.

"I like you, Kairi." He finally said. "I want us to be close again- closer even. I don't want little things like Namine or Roxas to get in the way, none of that matters anymore. I trust you completely."

He hesitated, watching me with careful eyes. I blinked, feeling to paralyzed to respond. What the hell? Did he plan to ambush me the whole time?

After a few slow seconds I opened my mouth to speak, but the vibrating in my pocket stopped me. I pulled myself out of Sora's arms to dig in my right pocket, pulling out my phone.

"Who is it?" Sora probed wistfully, looking at me with an unreadable expression. The phone continued to vibrate in my hand, as I stared at the screen to Sora anxiously.

"It's Roxas." I started.

He crossed his arms over his chest, and looked away.

"Well take the call." He muttered evenly. "It might be something important."

I looked down at the phone, and back at Sora. _Back in this stupid triangle again. _No, I wasn't going to be back in that same situation ever again. It was now or never. I sighed, before clicking the silent button, and throwing my phone on the couch.

I turned my attention back to a completely surprised Sora.

"I trust you."

_/If I lay here/_

I walked back to Sora, placed my left hand on his shoulder, and pulled him down to my face.

"I trust you." I repeated.

/_If I just lay here/_

Before he could respond, I closed the gap between us, crashing my lips against his. The sweet familiar peppermint taste filled my taste buds. He wrapped his arms around me, squishing my arm against him.

"Ow." I mumbled.

"Sorry." He said breathlessly, before I closed the gap between us again.

_Would you lie with me?/_

And then both of my parents walked in.

x.X.x

That next week, I'll admit I was a little nervous showing my face, while holding Sora's hand. What would people think about the fact that we were indeed a couple again? More specifically, what would Roxas think? I really tried not to dwell on that person. I still felt a little guilty for ignoring his call, what if it was a an emergency? Must have not been that important for him not to call again.

Whatever the case, I wasn't exactly _too _worried, where I'd have to pull my hair out if I didn't find out.

People did notice us, and they did start to whisper around. I ignored them. It wasn't that difficult, with Sora peppering kisses on my cheek all the time.

We both walked into Xion a long the way, she looked slightly miffed, but when she saw us, her face broke out into a grin.

"Get a room why don't you?" She teased, before walking along. It only occurred to me a little later that Roxas wasn't with her. I still wanted to apologize for not answering the call.

I promised myself I'd do it today.

Sora and I turned the corner towards our English class, and I had to admit that the sight before us shocked the living daylights out of me

There standing near the door, were two undeniably recognizable, blondes, looking wrapped up in a deep conversation.

She bowed her head, fiddling with her hands, while he stared at her with concerned blue eyes. They didn't seem to be aware of anything around them, because he automatically reached out for her hand.

Then he pulled her into his arms.

x.X.x

**Dun Dun Duh! Who could that pair be? What will Kairi think? Why am I asking questions?**

**Lol, sorry for the cliff hanger- well it's not that much of a cliff hanger. I think it's pretty obvious who those two are... **

**Free cookie if you can guess what the song SoKai was dancing too.**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! :D**


	33. Chapter 32

**Reviewers, ehhhhhhh I hate this chapter!DX Can I just shoot it and be done with it? Lol, well I don't like it for numerous reason, one being the obvious. The whole pair switching up. Honestly I want to finish this damn story already. Believe me it's dragged out way longer than I anticipated and I'm sick of it! Lol, anyway, the cliff hanger in the previous chapter will be solved. Another reason; it's so damn short! I'm not a huge fan of short chapters considering how inconsistent my updating patterns are. I should be dishing out longer chapters. But, blah! This chapter was so hard to write! Major writer's block!  
**

**What else to say, hmmm... I can't think of anything else.  
**

**Oh wait yes I can! While I was writing this chapter I was heavily inspired by the song "Save Me" by Kelly Clarkson. It totally describes Namine and Kairi's relationship at this point in this story very well. I'd go listen to it; it's a great song.  
**

**People who get a free cyber cookie are the following:**

**Kai Hero**

**Kurai Hiruma**

**KHgatoman3444**

**Sookdeo**

**xxxPLURxxx**

**Siy Rowling**

**Congrats guys on getting a free cookie! :D Oh and for those of you who didn't know the song was "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol ;)**

**Enjoy  
**

x.X.x

**Chapter 32:**

Namine buried her face in his chest, and wrapped her arms around his waist. Roxas gave her another squeeze before pulling away to stare at her. His blue eyes darted around her face, worry written all over his.

_What the hell?_

I heard Sora cough uncomfortably next to me. Both of the blondes' heads snapped up in our direction, with a surprised expression. Namine's face paled immediately, a strained look passed over, as she averted her eyes. She scooted as far as possible from Roxas, leaning against the English class door.

Roxas, on the other hand, was staring straight at me, with that same shocked expression plastered across his face. I could vaguely detect little specks of blush peppered across his pale face, before taking in the purple around his left eye, and the band aid thrown crookedly across his chin.

My chest constricted at the sight of his injured face. I mean seriously, what the hell? The mirroring shocked expression on my face instantly hardened into a glare, as I glanced from Roxas to Namine.

"Namine?" Sora was the one who spoke first. "What's going on? Where's Riku?"

Her gaze flickered over to me, then to Sora. Her white face, soon flushing an angry red.

"I don't know." She stammered weakly, bowing her head and glaring at the floor.

"What do you mean-"

"She doesn't know." Roxas cut in harshly, glaring at Sora. I studied the blond girl in front of us. There was something off about the way she was holding herself; her arms were wrapped around her chest. Her bruised looking bottom lip was trembling and it seemed as if any moment she would have broken down.

"What's wrong Namine?" I finally spoke, glancing at her worriedly too. She wouldn't look at me directly in the eyes. Her eyebrows knitted together in distress as she turned away.

"She's fine, Kairi." Roxas started unconvincingly.

She's fine? She's obviously not fine! And by the looks of Roxas, he looked like he got hit in the face with a bat.

My eyes narrowed as they flickered over to him dangerously. "What's wrong with her?" I demanded angrily.

Roxas chewed his lip, his blue eyes quickly darting in the direction of Namine. Slowly out of the corner of my eye, I caught Namine reach out, and tug at the bottom of Roxas's sweater. Her knuckles were white with strain, and shaking slightly as she tugged harder.

He cleared his throat. "Nothing- nothing's wrong with her Kairi."

He glanced at her and the pained expression on her face faded away.

Sora and I exchanged confused looks, as Roxas placed a large hand over Namine's, and tugged her inside the classroom.

"What the hell?" I blurted out glaring at the door. I could feel Sora's eyes on me with caution. "What the hell is going on?"

"C'mon, let's just go inside before we're late."

I nodded my head, only half aware of Sora talking to me. He reached out for the doorknob, and pulled it open. Before I walked in though, I heard loud footsteps. My head whipped back to find none other than the prick himself, striding over to the classroom.

He turned his head towards us and my jaw dropped open as I took in his appearance. His once perfect features were flawed… with a bandaged nose.

"Riku…?" Sora blurted out, gaping at him wide eyed. I nudged him in the rib.

Riku's gaze met mine with a steady venom, as he smirked in my direction. He looked terrible. His eyes were dark and red around the rims as if he'd been crying. There were bruise like marks underneath his eyes as if he were lacking sleep. And his nose…well it was broken.

"Just a little scuffle, nothing to worry about." He reassured, reaching forward and ruffling Sora's hair in a brotherly gesture. He walked by us and entered the classroom.

"That's Riku for you, always getting into a fight." Sora beamed, nodded his head in agreement before turning to me.

"What?" He asked seriously when he finally noticed my angry glare. "Kairi, why are you- why are you looking at me like that?" He questioned uneasily.

I rolled my eyes before walking into the classroom. I swear the bell rang right after I stepped in.

I sat down and peered over at Namine, who was sitting next to Roxas. My eyes flashed over to Roxas who was looking absolutely pained, as he stared back at her. I noticed that she was still clutching the end of his sweater tightly.

My eyes narrowed slightly as I tried to make sense of this gesture. What was going on? When did Roxas and Namine hang out? But more importantly, what the hell was wrong with her?

Sure we got into a huge fight the other day, but that didn't mean I wasn't worried or that she still wasn't my friend. Even if it was one-sided friendship.

I looked over at Roxas and took in his black eye. It wasn't swollen as if he'd just gotten it. It was probably a few days old, and the last time I saw him was the day of Winter Formal. My eyes flitted over to the blonde sitting beside him, and then trailed down to her busted bottom lip.

I felt myself chew my own lip as I tried to make sense of what I was observing. Both of them looked as if they'd gotten into a fight. But it would have only made sense if it was during the formal. And that itself didn't make any sense because Roxas was with Xion, and Namine with Riku.

Riku!

My head immediately snapped over into his direction. His eyes were glaring at Roxas with contempt and I could practically feel the hatred emanating off of him. It looked slightly ridiculous because of the large gauze plastered over his nose, I would have laughed if the situation wasn't so serious.

If he had a broken nose and Roxas had a black eye…

All of a sudden it didn't seem as if it were all a coincidence. Riku did something to Namine and Roxas. That I was sure of. And it pissed the hell out of me.

I was shaking in my seat, my teeth gritted together, and I could feel my face red. I had a vivid image of wringing that pretty boy's neck like a chicken.

_Who the hell did he think he was? Seriously, once I get my hands on him-_

I felt a hand cover mine. My head snapped towards the hand and then followed the arm up to meet Sora's blue eyes. They were swimming with worry and concern, and if I looked harder incredulity.

"Are you ok?" He mouthed; I didn't realize the teacher was already starting her lecture. I shook my head slowly and turned away, closing my eyes.

The class inevitably dragged on. It felt like days until the dismissal bell for break rang. I didn't know who I wanted to get to first Riku or Namine.

Riku automatically leaped from his seat and strode out the door without a backward glance. His silver hair whipped behind him and I was so tempted to run up and yank it all from his scalp.

But I hesitated. What if he didn't do anything? No. No. No. I'd already anticipated the evil mind of Riku ever since that conversation in his smoke filled car.

Namine, still clutching the sweater sleeve, followed Roxas out of the door. Her head tilted slightly and she caught my eye. And in that millisecond long look, she completely broke.

x.X.x

I knew there was something wrong with the way Namine was behaving. Something seriously wrong, for her to be afraid of her own shadow. What the hell happened? I mean what could Riku-I knew it was him- have done to possibly traumatize her?

Despite this fact, I couldn't help but feel a bit betrayed, seeing Roxas and Namine together. I mean I knew they weren't together _together_. The only thing I'd seen them do the whole day was hug, and sit next to each other to have what seemed as deep conversations. Xion wasn't even around Roxas. She seemed to have disappeared from all this drama; good for her. But I also noticed that Riku was no where to be found either. Stupid jerk.

In the back of my mind, I thought idly of them together. Riku would certainly get what he wanted, but would Xion even be happy?

Roxas didn't talk to me really, and that was admittedly upsetting. For some reason, I felt as if he were giving me the cold shoulder. It's not like I could really blame him. I did surprise everyone- including myself- with getting back with Sora. It wouldn't shock me if he hated me for not telling him.

I felt really bad, and seeing them being all chummy chummy, seemed to have only deepened the bad sensation rumbling in my stomach. It was even worse feeling this way, and knowing the fact that Namine in some way probably needed Roxas more than anyone right now.

I didn't know what hurt me more: that it was Namine who didn't want me, or the fact that she wanted Roxas, of all people, to be around her.

I sighed out loud and wrapped my sweater tighter around me. It stopped raining, and the sun was peaking out of the blanket of clouds, but the day still had that chilly air.

"Kairi?" I felt Sora put an arm around me and tug me closer.

I didn't respond at first. I stared out into the football field for a long time. We were out in our favorite spot, looking out at practice as if nothing between us changed. When in all reality things did change between us, but for the better.

Regardless of the revolutionary change in our relationship, I still had the infamous blonde roaming around my head. And I was pretty sure he was thinking of Namine too.

I closed my eyes and sucked in the cold air.

"I'm worried, Sora." I finally said, with a big breath.

He shifted in his seat and moved closer to me. I could feel his cold face pressed against the top of my head, and I could see the cloud of his breath when he sighed loudly.

"I am too." He admitted in a whisper. "Things've changed."

"They have." I agreed.

He pulled away to look at me.

"Yeah I didn't expect Roxas and Namine. That was just like a slap in the face." Sora joked, wearing his signature huge grin but it didn't reach his eyes. "What shall we call them? Namixas-"

"Please. Don't." I mumbled wearily.

"Sorry." He said shortly, and looked away. "Insensitive right? You probably still like him a bit-"

"It has nothing to do with that." I said in a low voice. I wasn't angry. I wasn't even frustrated, I was- well- worried.

"I don't understand." Sora said finally, looking at me with quizzical eyes. I let out another breathy sigh, and untangled myself from his arms, to fully turn to look at him.

"You saw the bruises on their faces." I said seriously. "You mean to tell me that you haven't connected the dots yet?"

"What dots? Kairi you know I suck at graphing in math." Sora started.

"No! I'm not talking about math." I snapped, reaching up to my face and rubbing my forehead fiercely. "I'm talking about Roxas and Namine. Don't you think it's a bit suspicious that they both have some kind of injury on their face and then two seconds later we see Riku with a broken nose?"

Sora's brown eyebrows pulled together, as he screwed up his face in concentration. I could practically see his brain at work here. His eyes widened.

"No you don't mean that Kairi." Sora began quickly. "Riku; he would never- I mean he'd have to have a good reason in order to get into a fight with Roxas."

I shook my head, but he disregarded my gesture and continued.

"I don't think Riku would purposefully hurt them."

"You don't know your friend well then." I countered.

Sora leaned back and scrutinized me, probably to detect if I was lying. But my unwavering stare told him otherwise.

"Ok then, Kairi." He said. "How is it that after years of bring around Riku, I don't know him well?"

I hesitated. After this whole time of not telling him the status of Namine and Riku's relationship, it was my chance now. But what if I did tell him? Then what? Of course he'd want her even more that he probably secretly still does now.

It was a selfish thought really, and I couldn't help it.

"Never mind."

x.X.x

The conversation between Sora and I was still floating through my head as I walked to the bio room. I couldn't keep this from him forever. Eventually he'd find out.

Well, not if I don't keep it hidden well.

I turned the hallway and stopped in my tracks. Roxas and Namine were by the door in the same position as first period.

"Thank you." She mumbled against his shoulder. I could hear her sniff lightly.

"Yeah no problem." He reassured, pulling away from her. He scratched the back of his head awkwardly, and gave her a warm smile.

She sniffed again, and returned the smile

"You'll be ok until lunch?" He asked, his eyes searching hers the same way he did earlier this morning. I could clearly see the worry etching his face again. She nodded her head,

"Yeah." She said in a shaky whisper. Roxas reached out, and moved his thumb underneath her eyes; clearing out her tears. It was almost way too intimate that I felt like I was some kind of peeping tom. My stomach fluttered in anticipation. Anticipation to make my presence known.

But I continued to hide behind the corner.

"Don't cry anymore." His voice was velvet soft, and I closed my eyes. "It's over now. It's going to be alright."

It's going to be alright. He stole the lines from right out of my mouth. If _only_ everything was going to be alright.

I didn't realize that the sound of the door opening was Namine going into class and that Roxas was heading around the corner. He stopped short when he saw me.

His blue eyes hardened, before turning wide.

"What are you…" He trailed off, before looking behind him at the biology class door. "You weren't listening…were you?"

"Yeah, I was." I admitted sourly, my eyes turning into a hard glare.

Roxas cleared his throat and ran a hand through his golden hair.

"Ok, well…just don't." He struggled with his words. "Just… don't do anything to Namine, please."

"Why would I do anything?" I snapped.

"She's having a hard time-"

"What's going on with her?" I demanded stubbornly. Roxas's face paled as he looked away, and coughed uncomfortably. His eyebrows pulled together and he seemed to be fidgeting in place. "Roxas. Tell me! Why won't you tell me?"

He bit his lip and grimaced.

"I-I can't." He admitted miserably, finally meeting my gaze with troubled eyes.

"Why not?" I pressed angrily, stepping forward.

"I promised I wouldn't say anything." He mumbled, averting his gaze again.

"Who? Who did you promise this to?" I snapped. "Was it Riku?"

His head snapped up suddenly and he was giving me a hard glare as he shook his head roughly.

"Namine; it was Namine ok." He said wearily. "She asked me not to tell you anything. She doesn't want you to-"

"I'm her friend Roxas, you have to tell me. What the hell happened to her?"

I didn't realize how quickly his mood changed. One second I was looking at a helpless face, and now he looked absolutely livid. His blue eyes darkened over, and were like hard, cold steel as he glared at me.

"If you're her friend, where were you? Huh?"

"I don't know what-"

"I called you!" He seethed. I backed up slightly, blinking uncontrollably. I could feel my eyes watering slightly at the sudden change of tone he was using.

"I-I know I should've called you back-"

"Where were you when she needed you? She was almost-" He stopped suddenly, his eyes widening.

"Almost what?" I pressed.

He shook his head roughly and let out a breathy sigh. His voice was quivering, but it lowered a few decibels. "Where were you? I tried to call you. That day; I tried to call you. She needed you. And you weren't there for her."

Roxas turned away slightly and leaned his forehead against he hallway wall. His eyes were closed and hard, but his bottom lip was trembling.

"Where _were _you?" He repeated.

Each time that question was uttered; it felt like I was stabbed.

"_She needed you Kairi._"

x.X.x

I felt absolutely horrible by the time I walked into the biology class. Roxas voice kept ringing in my head. The same question.

_Where were you?_

I was with Sora when I should have been helping her.

I shook my head guiltily as I took as seat next to Namine without even realizing it.

"Oh." I exclaimed out in surprise, when I turned to see her. She was staring intently at the black lab desks as if there was nothing wrong. But I could see her fingers shaking as she tried to fiddle around with them nonchalantly.

I didn't know what to say. I was stuck there awkwardly staring at her. An apology would have been a start. But I found it hard to speak. My mouth was dry, and my lips seemed glued to each other.

I tried again.

"I'm-"

She turned her head away pointedly, and pretended to dig into her bag.

It was like that the whole way through biology. Even the quirky personality of my bio teacher couldn't distract me from the dread I was feeling. I needed to talk to her. I didn't care about the fact that we weren't supposed to be friends. Or that she told me off the last time we talked. I still cared. She would always be my best friend, whether she wanted me or not.

So I vowed I would attempt to talk to her when I saw the opportune moment. After class.

I cornered Namine before she got a chance to slip past me after the dismissal bell rang. Her blue eyes widened with shock as I grabbed her wrist. She flinched slightly and let out a muffled yelp, before snatching it back and holding it up to her chest.

I mumbled a quick, embarrassed apology. She averted her eyes, and bowed her head.

"Namine, I-I want to-" I hesitated, when I heard her make a loud sniff. "Namine… what's- what's wrong?"

She shook her blonde head roughly, bringing her hands to her face. I cringed when she let out a loud sobbing noise.

"I'm sorry." Namine whimpered. "I'm so sorry."

My eyebrows pulled together in confusion as I opened my mouth to speak, but she was already brushing past me by that time.

"_Namine!"_

I didn't really have a chance to chase her down. Roxas was already there by the door. The look he gave me sent chills down my spine. It was cold and harsh. I couldn't find any of that smoldering passion they held when he usually looked at me. What happened? When did it come to this?

I watched them walk away. And I could honestly tell you it hurt more than getting hit in the face with a rebounded basketball.

x.X.x

Sora walked me home. I could feel his eyes on me the whole way. That same old worried look. It was really starting to piss me off. Out of all the people to be worried about I was _not_ one of them.

By the time I got home, I didn't even let him give m a goodbye kiss-partly because I was annoyed with him and partly because I caught my dad's car in the drive way.

The missing good bye kiss probably left him a bit miffed. Whatever. There were more pressing issues to deal with than my relationship.

I walked into the house, and looked around.

"Dad? You're home?" I questioned, looking around the house. I saw his car keys thrown on the kitchen table, and his jacket thrown over the wooden chair. It was weird. My dad usually never got out of work this early.

I pondered his unexpected attendance, until I heard shuffling upstairs. Quickly, I climbed the stairs two at a time until I reached the source of the noise, in my parent's bedroom. I didn't even think of knocking until after I opened the door.

I found my dad, hastily running back from the closet to propped open suitcase. My eyes warily, flitted from the case to my dad digging through the closet.

"Going somewhere?" I asked, leaning against the doorframe and crossing my arms over my chest. He stopped what he was doing, looking over his shoulder.

"Oh you're home early." He responded, turning his attention back to the closet, and pulling out a few shirts.

"I could say the same thing to you." I mumbled back with a raised eyebrow. "What are you doing?"

"Packing." He said shortly, throwing the shirts in his suitcase.

"Uh for what?"

"Going out of town." He huffed, pushing down the shirts, and wiping his forehead.

"Uh for what?" I demanded, stomping over to the bed, and plopping myself down on it. "Does Mom know?"

His body went rigid as he turned to look at me.

"Uh no she doesn't, I was hoping you would mention it to her."

"Where are you going?"

"Business trip." He answered easily, almost _too_ easily. It would have made me suspicious, but I ignored it. I wasn't in the mood to deal with my dad's weird business trip.

"Joy." I said sarcastically.

"You're not in a very good mood are you?" He said, looking at me curiously over the top of his suit case. I glared back at him. But he stared back with a skeptical expression, so instead I bit my lip and turned away.

"Is it that obvious?"

"You're an open book." He answered, packing a pair of socks, and pushing them down. After he was satisfied with the amount of clothing in his suit he snapped his shut with minor difficulty. When it was closed he took a seat next to me, and stared down at his lap awkwardly. "I'm not very good with things like this, but you wanna talk about it?"

I rolled my eyes at his attempts to _console_ me. Not as smooth as Mom, I noted. But I appreciated it none the less.

"I'm worried, Dad." I started to say slowly.

"Is it that boy, because if he-"

"No, no it's not." I stammered, shaking my head roughly. "You know what never mind."

"No I was just kidding! I told you I was bad at this." He muttered gruffly. I peeked over at his expression and I could see the light specks of blush across his cheeks. Great. I didn't want to make him embarrassed over any of this. Maybe it was better to just talk to my mom about this. "Just tell me."

Fine. I'll just keep things general, I thought.

"Ok then," I deadpanned, before sighing loudly. "What do you do when you've reached a point in your life where you're actually very happy? I mean it's like the best!"

"Well you-"

"I'm not done!" I snapped. He looked away sheepishly, gesturing for me to continue.

"So you're happy right and life's all great and stuff, but then you start to notice that you're happiness completely ruins everyone else's lives? You don't know what to do. Sometimes it feels like you're drowning because all of this misery and sadness is just choking the life out of you. What do you do when you want things to stay the same- the happy things, but if you don't change it, you somehow know that something really _really_ bad is going to happen?"

My dad stayed quiet for a long time, and I honestly thought he wasn't paying attention. His eyes turned to mine, and I saw utter confusion in them.

"I don't know what you're going on about, quite frankly." He admitted nervously. I smacked my forehead.

"It's fine." I muttered hastily, leaping from my seat. "Really it's ok, I'll- just forget it. Alright, just forget it."

"Ok, if you say so." He said brightly, lifting up his suit case and pulling out the wheels. I watched him as he dragged it across the bedroom towards the open door. However, when he reached the door frame he tilted his head to look at me from over his shoulder.

"Kairi, whatever pickle you're in, I'm sure you'll fix things." He said so sincerely that it hurt. "I believe that you will be able to do anything. You'll solve your problems. I promise you that, or else you wouldn't be my daughter."

His eyes twinkled with such pride as he looked at me that I was hit with a wave of guilt. I averted my eyes and kept my expression from falling.

I hoped he was right.

x.X.x

**Dun Dun Duh!**

**EHHHHHHHHHHHH What will happen with Roxas and Namine? Blooming Romance? Maybe? Maybe not :D**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW  
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	34. Chapter 33

**Lovely readers, sorry it's a day late. I was meaning to post this up yesterday, but I was...uh busy- ok no you caught me, I procrastinated. T_T Um what can I say about this chapter. I'm pretty content with it. There isn't anything I would majorly change. So I'm pretty happy with this result. Also, there's some Roxiri. Finally right? :D Also, it's pretty important so be on the look out for little subtle stuff.  
**

**It's a little on the short side, but it's a quick update, alas you people can't have it your way. It's not Burger King. So it's my friend's b-day today, and since I didn't get her anything blah blah blah, I'm dedicating this chapter to her. Even though she's a total anti-Kairi in this story. xP**

**I got inspired by that same song "Chasing Cars"...so addicting x)**

**I don't own anything besides the plot x/ so don't sue.**

**Enjoy:**

**x.X.x  
**

**Chapter 33:**

Days turned into weeks and before I knew it, winter vacation would soon begin. Thank god. The hallways were still graced with that winter wonderland that was the previous dance. Snow flakes dangled from the ceiling, mistletoe was placed practically in almost every corner. Boys darted about sneakily avoiding girls who puckered their lip in their direction.

Overall there was a cheerful buzz going around through the campus, seeing as this was the last week until break.

The buzz was _almost_ everywhere.

I had to admit I was getting a little annoyed with school and all of it's dreadful surprises. Particularly in the whole Roxas and Namine department.

Sure at the beginning I was worried and confused, and feeling extremely guilty. But I noticed the subtle changes in my ex best friend. The way the dark shadows beneath her eyes lightened up each day. The way she walked around with more confidence and purpose. The way she acted around Roxas; she was actually smiling now. I caught no more flashes of pain in her blue eyes. It was only admiration whenever she was with Roxas. And the look was reciprocated.

They were everywhere together. They didn't hold hands or anything, but they were practically bumping elbows and arms all of the time.

It… well it annoyed me. No, it was the worst kind of annoyance a person could feel. Together they made the most angelic looking couple ever and I hated it. I tried convincing myself that it was only because I was hurt that Namine would rather hang out with Roxas than me. I was _not _jealous of Namine. I couldn't be. Why would I be, when I was with someone like Sora?

Sora; he was a whole different story. It would be a lie to say that this whole Roxas and Namine situation wasn't affecting him. I caught the way he would shoot pouty glances at the two of them. And then when they weren't in sight, he would try to drown me with affection.

Yet, I wouldn't say anything. It wasn't really because I was so upset I didn't want to say anything; I just felt as if this whole mooning from afar was getting old. If Sora really wanted Namine he wouldn't have gotten back together with me. I felt my temper flare as I thought of Namine. It was a selfish feeling, really, but it helped me keep my thoughts in order.

Roxas on the other hand made no attempt to approach me, whatsoever. And that only added on to the hurt feelings rumbling inside of me. The only thing I caught him doing was sneaking glances at me. Pitiful, glances that just pissed me off.

I tried not to let my mind wonder off towards the perfect blonde couple. It only aggravated me, and distracted me from my school work. Ugh, another annoying aspect to school nowadays. Finals. I swear every teacher was harpooning us about studying for the test.

I wasn't worried, more annoyed than worried. The only class that seemed to worry me endlessly was math. But it was only because I epically sucked. Xion seemed to wholeheartedly agree with me. Speaking of said person, she was more down than the norm.

The usual cheerful aura that emanated from her seemed weary and most of the time forced. I did try to question it from time to time, but she just brushed it off.

"It's finals week." She said earnestly, during break. "Why in the world would I be happy?" She shook her head and flashed me a smile that didn't reach her eyes. When she thought I wasn't looking, her dark eyebrows pulled together and her eyes flickered over to the silver headed person sitting a few tables away.

Her round pale face scrunched up in confusion, before she looked away from that person all together and focused her gaze on the table in front of her.

"Pull yourself together." She mumbled under her breath, but I heard it anyway. I was about to question her behavior but the flash of blonde, out of the corner of my eye stopped me. Blondes; both of them, walking in the direction of our table.

Namine walked with her arm hooped around Roxas, looking as if that were the most natural thing to do on earth. They both paused when they reached the table.

I peeked over at Sora, who stiffened up next to me. His blue eyes were firmly glued to the table in front of him. Something tugged at my hand; his hand.

"Are these seats taken?" Roxas spoke up. Namine's eyes were also another pair that was glued to the table. Although for a brief second I saw them glance in Sora's direction before, falling away entirely.

It was weird. After all this time, the two decided to finally join us at the table. I looked down at the table to find Hayner, Olette, and Pence glancing nervously at all of us.

"Kairi?" Roxas probed gruffly.

"No they're not Roxas." I mumbled, looking down at the floor. I felt Sora's hand in mine tighten, for a few seconds before letting go. He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer to him.

I caught Roxas' eyes narrow as they flickered from me to Sora. But almost instantly they smoothed out blankly.

We didn't talk much. Namine wouldn't look at me, or anyone else for that matter. Roxas was shooting me these confusing glances. I didn't know quite exactly what they meant. Was he still angry for that missed phone call? How was I supposed to know that it could have been an extreme emergency

I felt Sora pull me closer until I was practically falling off the end of the bench. He looked down at me and smiled sweetly. That little small smile that would send my heart fluttering, only, my heart wasn't fluttering. It didn't seem genuine.

I grinned back cheaply. He bought it because he reached down and pecked my forehead, then my nose and even having the decency to brush his lips against mine. It was awkward.

I didn't like it, but I didn't want to show it.

I peeked over at Roxas, who was pointedly looking away. More specifically at Namine, and that immediately made my core quiver.

"Well this is awkward." Xion commented, I think speaking for all of us. I heard Namine let out a small chuckle in agreement which made Xion do a double take. She stared wide eyed at the blond as if she had she the third eye.

Namine stared back puzzled, before flushing and turning away.

It was the first time she ever acknowledged Xion.

x.X.x

I was walking to my next class with Xion; Sora unexpectedly decided to skip out in walking us to class. It wasn't bad; it was just weird not seeing a super hyper Xion.

Said girl, was walking with a slight hunch, and her head was drooped low.

"Xion." I said, stopping her before we walked into class. Her blue eyes snapped up.

"Hmm?"

"What's up?" I asked, leaning against the locker next to the door, to scrutinize her. She looked away from my gaze, because she knew that I knew something was wrong.

"Well Kairi, technically the ceiling is up, you know what I mean?" She answered with mock happiness. Her lips stretched out into a wide tight smile. It almost made me sick to see this charade.

"Xion – "

"And the sky – "

"Xion – "

"And the atmosphere, and space – "

"Xion, seriously! What is wrong?" I snapped, shaking her shoulders.

Her bright expression melted away in an instant. Her lips fell down into a deep frown as her eyebrows pulled together, causing worry creases to appear on her forehead. She sighed heavily, closing her eyes and bringing a hand to her face.

She stayed like that for a moment before pulling her hand away and smiling nervously at me.

"It's nothing." She reassured, and upon seeing my skeptical frown, she added and unconvincing, "_Really!_"

I didn't probe her too much after that. I didn't want to seem annoying and I definitely did not want to repeat what happened with Namine all over again. But I still worried. Another thing for me to worry about.

I hated this. It was weird, this feeling. Ever since Sora and I got back together, everyone seemed to drift apart. I hated it. Sometimes when I was alone and this thought crossed my mind, it hurt. I felt suffocated by the thought of losing people that were close to me.

Would we always be friends?

That question felt like a big slap in the face. _Look what happened with Namine._

And Roxas, I thought sullenly. That last conversation flooded through my head.

"_She needed you Kairi._"

Hearing those words felt like bee stings, growing more painful by the second. How was I supposed to know? How was I supposed to know that something bad was going to happen if I didn't answer that call? I didn't want this. This cold shoulder and distance. I wanted Namine back. I wanted Roxas back too.

I peeked over to the blonde sitting at the desk, brushing the charcoal - she held by the tips of her fingers - with long strokes. Her face was set with deep determination.

I would talk to them, I promised myself.

x.X.x

After class, Sora was waiting by the art room. I honestly didn't expect him, and I was irritated that he chose such a bad time to hang out with me. I was on a mission. His smooth tanned face broke out into a grin, once he caught my eye. I couldn't muster up a smile back quick enough. His immediately fell.

"What's wrong?"

I caught Roxas walking in our direction, probably to wait for Namine. All the determination and boldness I initially felt evaporated and left me sucked dry.

"Nothing; let's go." I muttered hastily, tugging his wrist and pulling him along.

x.X.x

I could see the annoyance in his expression as he watched me pace back and forth on the bleacher step.

"Will you tell me what's wrong with you?" He asked impatiently, crossing his arms over his chest. I shot him a glare, before sighing.

"I forgot something in the art room." I lied quickly. His brown eyebrow rose in confusion.

"Is that what you're freaking out about?" He laughed, getting up from his seat. "C'mon we'll go get it – "

"No!" I practically screamed out, causing him to jump. "I mean – uh, well – it's okay, I'll go myself."

Sora frowned, his brows pulling together. If I thought he looked puzzled before, I was wrong.

"What did you forget?"

"My uh…" I trailed off trying to think of something on the spot. "My pencil."

"You're pencil." He deadpanned. "Kairi I can just let you borrow one – "

"Ah, but it's my favorite one…" I said pathetically. I didn't wait for him to reply, seeing as he was on the verge of laughing, or asking more interrogating questions. I literally ran down the bleacher steps. "I'll see you after class."

I left him staring at me confusedly.

x.X.x

Ditching Sora was surprisingly not as difficult as I anticipated it would have been. Ok, well maybe I did a bad job, with the way he was staring at me with knowing eyes. Or the way I clumsily formed my escape plan on the spot. But I was rid of him nonetheless.

I was heading back to the art room. That was the first place on my list of finding the duo. Mission: Find Blonde's. Win their friendship. And sail about with two Blonde's in tow. My pace was nervous as I tried to think of what to say.

_Uh, sorry would work yeah?_

It seemed pretty pathetic in my head, but aiming for pathetic might work for my advantage.

I stopped when I reached the door labeled _Art Room_. The lights were on, so I knew for sure someone was in there. I sucked in a deep breath, before latching my hand to the doorknob. I opened the door to the class room, expecting to see the two blondes wrapped up in one of Namine's little sketches. My heart literally fell out of my chest. It didn't occur to me that they might have been doing something I _really_ did not want to see.

Namine pressed up against the edge of those big art tables, Roxas cornering her with his hands sliding down the sides of her tiny arms, her arms around his neck, moving their faces closer.

His arms moved around her in sync with hers, placed sloppily around her waist. Her hands trailed up until they were tangled in his hair as she brought his face down to meet hers. They didn't see me; it explained why they continued with their kiss. It wasn't until I coughed out loudly that they broke apart and stared wildly at me.

Namine's eyes widened and she gulped audibly, backing up and bumping into the table. Her face was flushed a deep red as she glared down at the floor.

"Kairi um…" Roxas stammered, also matching Namine's deep flush. He reached back and scratched the back of his blonde head, staring anywhere besides my face.

"What the hell?" I spluttered out, my eyes angrily darting between both flustered looking blondes. "_What the hell_?"

I felt my lips fall into a tight grimace as I glared at the two of them. I didn't know what to do or what to say besides that same question that seemed to be reverberating inside my head. Honestly, what the hell? The whole speech I was about to give them, begging for their forgiveness, vanished in less than a millisecond.

The two last people on earth I would have thought to do this were just kissing. If I hadn't interrupted who knows how long that would have lasted. I felt a slight stab in my chest, when I took in a hard breath. _What the hell?_

Finally Namine's head snapped up and met my gaze. Her blue eyes were pleading. My blood only boiled.

"Please." She whispered, speaking directly to me for the first time in a long while. For a moment I couldn't understand what she said; her voice sounded so foreign to me. I shook my head, and returned her glance with a glower. "I-it's not what you think."

It's not what I think? How the hell should she know what I thought?

I turned away from her face, to look at Roxas. His eyes finally strayed and met mine. The cold hard surface was broken, and the deep, blue, liquid pools were swimming with guilt.

I could read his expression. _Sorry, Kairi. _

I scoffed, keeping my steady glare on him. "I don't care." I snarled. My words coming out slow and clear. "Do what you want; I _don't_ care."

It was a hardcore lie to say that I didn't care. I did care. I cared a lot; more than what I would have admitted.

I was angry and hurt, probably more hurt than angry. How could Roxas…?

I was angry with her, once the initial guilt completely faded. I was completely livid. All I saw was red. I was angry with her for a number of reasons, the obvious being this situation in which she stole Roxas away. How could she do that? After all that crap she put me through with Sora, she had the decency to do it again?

I hated her. Right then and there, I absolutely _hated_ Namine. The fact that she went through a lot did not make my hatred waver whatsoever.

Nothing good ever stayed with me; she had the power to draw them away from me. First with Sora, then with Roxas. I would be alone, while she was surrounded by admirers.

I hated her so much.

"Kairi, please!" Namine spoke again. I turned my glare towards her.

"I don't care!"

And with that I stormed out of the room, without looking back.

x.X.x

I didn't tell Sora what I had witnessed in that art room. I wanted to; believe me, I so wanted to. Just so I could get another person on my side to completely hate that blonde couple. But in the end I couldn't find it in myself to say anything. The stupid conscience.

Throughout the whole day I couldn't stop thinking about it. I swear all I saw was his lips pressed up against hers. It sickened me. I felt _sick _to my stomach. Any moment I felt like I wanted to heave.

So I was pretty relieved once the dismissal bell rang. I told Sora not to walk me home. I didn't want to be tempted to divulge that little disgusting secret. More chaos would ensue. It was for his own good anyway. I'm such a martyr, I thought sarcastically.

x.X.x

When I reached the driveway to my house I was met with a surprise visitor. Not the good connotation of surprise either.

Roxas was leaning on the beam of the porch, staring at me with hooded eyes. This jerk had the decency to show up at my house? I glanced at the skateboard at his feet. Explains why he got here before I did.

"Ditching detention Roxas? How rebellious of you." I sneered, stomping up the steps, making sure that my angry glare was in tact. I tried to brush by him gracefully but ended up dripping over a loose floorboard.

"Watch yourself." He stated, catching me by the arm.

"Shut up."I huffed, snatching my arm away. "I don't need any advice from you."

His eyebrows arched, and I caught the flashes of pain in his blue eyes. Absently I thought of a puppy I once saw out in town. My anger softened slightly, but I tried not to show it.

"Kairi," His tone was pleading, and it hurt me to hear him talk like that. "I'm sorry."

"What for? I don't care!" I snapped, but it came out half hearted.

"I-I know you don't." He started, looking down at the floor, before meeting my eyes. "I just don't want you to get the wrong idea. There's nothing going on between Namine and I."

"Sure seems like it." I remarked sarcastically.

"Kairi, I'm telling you the truth! What you saw back in class-"

"Was enough." I finished for him shortly, holding a hand up. He averted his eyes. I shook my head, turning away and continuing to make my way towards the door, before coming to a sudden halt. I whipped around suddenly. "You know what I do care!"

Roxas's head snapped up as he stared at me with wide eyes.

"How could you do this to her? Hasn't she been through enough?" I snarled. "Why do you have to get her hopes up?"

"She knows it means nothing. She's the one that- " He stopped and shook his head. "Look, I know she's been through a lot believe me. You're the one that didn't answer the – "

"Oh here we go with the phone call again!" I cried out, throwing my hands up in the air. "How the hell was I supposed to know that it was so important? You can't blame me. I regret not being there for whatever the hell happened to Namine that night of the dance. Okay? You have no idea how much I regret it and wish I answered that stupid call. But I can't go back. That doesn't give you a right to yell at me and make me feel worse about it."

Roxas was staring at me with his hard eyes. They weren't pleading anymore; I clearly saw the challenge in his blue depths and I was more than ready to fight back.

"What are you _really_ angry about?" He asked sharply.

"Nothing. I told you I didn't care." I stammered uneasily, looking away from his heavy loaded gaze.

"You're lying." He muttered. I glared at him with so much intensity it was starting to make my eyes water.

So what if I was? So what if I did care that I caught him kissing someone that wasn't me? So what if for a brief second I wished I was Namine back then? It wouldn't have made a difference; I would have never let him know.

I felt my glare waver for a second before completely crumbling away. My lips pulled down into a grimace as I tried to keep them from trembling.

I felt Roxas move closer. I could smell the winter fresh scent growing stronger. And yet I didn't say anything or move away.

"Kairi, give me a sign or something." He said softly. "You're killing me here."

I pretended I didn't hear the way his voice cracked in the middle of the last statement. I could feel my anger ebbing away, almost too quickly for my taste. The initial guilt I was feeling overwhelmed me.

He sighed heavily, giving me a weary look. And then there it was. That flash. The burning passion I had grown to secretly miss was glowing in his blue eyes, as he stared at me. It was almost too much for me to handle.

I felt like I was away for a very long time, and just coming home now.

"I know that you're going out with Sora," He started slowly. The flicker was gone and replaced with that sad puppy dog look as stared down. I felt my own face form a pout upon seeing this expression.

My eyes left his face briefly to land on his now clenched fists. Hesitantly, I reached out and placed a hand over his tight ones. He flinched slightly, tearing his gaze away from the cold concrete to my hand, surprised by my gesture. I even surprised myself. Slowly a pained smile graced his lips as his eyes met mine.

"Look at you," He said amiably, gazing at me with a bittersweet doting expression. "Trying to comfort me after all the crap I put you through."

I squeezed his hand; my lips falling into a tight frown to keep them from trembling.

"It wasn't just you," I admitted sadly. "Besides, I probably put you through worse."

Roxas's smile faltered slightly but he quickly recomposed it in seconds. He didn't respond to my comment, which roughly translated to him agreeing wholeheartedly with me. I winced slightly at this thought. He turned away from me, staring off into the distance. His blue eyes were smoldering.

"I've been stupid, Kairi." His voice came out in a quivered whisper. "I've been distracted by my own feelings that I've let them run wild. I didn't once consider how you felt. I was so sure that at some point in our newfound friendship you'd develop feelings for me too. I didn't – well if I really want to be honest – I didn't believe you could have still liked Sora after everything we had been through." He paused. His lips pulling into a half bitter smile. His eyes flickered towards me. The same intensity filled them but I caught flashes of pain haunt those blue depths.

"But you did. It hit me with such a shock, but at the same time I expected that from you. You _wouldn't_ give up on Sora. You wouldn't give up on anything you feel strongly for and that fact alone makes me fall in love with you all over again."

I didn't realize my eyes were starting to water. _I can't seriously be crying!_

But sure enough that familiar burning sensation and the lump in my throat confirmed my fear. I turned away abruptly so he wouldn't notice. But before I turned away I caught Roxas's eyes soften at the sight of my tears. His lips pulled into a gentle, sad smile.

"You cry way too easily." He joked, trying to lighten the mood. His failed attempt only made the tears come down harsher.

Pull yourself together, you baby, I thought angrily as a weak groan escaped my lips.

"I didn't mean for you to start bawling," Roxas cooed, trying to pry my hands away from my face. Ok, bawling was an exaggeration… alright maybe it wasn't. I _was _bawling!

My chest constricted, my stomach fell in a pathetic lump, and my heart felt like it had been ripped in half. I was in so much pain and it hit me so suddenly; I just wanted everything to end. It felt like things were just getting worse and worse. The worst part of all of this sick love quadrangle-thing was that Roxas honestly believed I held no feelings for him. But I understood why. It's not like I advertised that piece of info… Even if everyone else could tell. Along the way of becoming friends with him, I did develop feelings for him. It almost felt inevitable.

Deep down I knew I liked Roxas a lot more than I'd like to admit. But even deeper down, those feelings still weren't enough. And I couldn't just tell him that. That would only shred his heart into even tinier pieces.

His arms wrapped around me loosely, but still in a comforting manner. I leaned against his chest, closing my eyes. That familiar winter fresh scent filled my nose, easing away the pain slightly.

I inhaled deeply and soon I was drowning in it. I moved closer, resting my head against the crook of his neck. It was warm and smooth against my cheek. Roxas's body stiffened at this gesture. I felt my own face heat up and a sudden urge to turn my head and press my lips against his neck.

_I like you. I only wish it was enough._

Roxas's body jerked slightly and soon he was brushing me off of him. I mumbled something unintelligible in protest. He leapt away from me and stood awkwardly.

"I should leave," He mumbled, mostly to himself. I walked towards him and tugged at his shirt.

"No, stay…please?" I uttered out moving closer to him. I didn't understand where my actions were coming from. I was an emotional mess. The last thing I needed was the subject of my emotional mess to be in my presence. Roxas gazed at me sadly as if reading my thoughts.

I stepped closer, placing my hands on his shoulders. His gaze never wavered from my face as my hands slid past his shoulders until my arms wrapped around his neck. I pressed my body against his, feeling him freeze.

"Kiss me," I whispered, inches away from his face. He gulped audibly before shaking his head.

"I can't." He turned his head away.

"You just won't." I countered, placing my lips against his cheek. I felt his arms wrap around my waist automatically. He let out a loud breathy sigh under my kiss.

"I would," He protested turning back to face me. His intense blue eyes were burning with passion. I felt the queasy feeling in my stomach; the porch was spinning. Roxas's arms around me tightened; I think it was an attempt to keep me on my feet. The dizziness was making me lose my balance. "But the timing isn't so great."

I felt my lips fall into a frown.

"But I… _I like you_." I blurted out. I felt his arms loosen until they were resting limply against my waist. His face fell into a pained grimace. The fiery intensity flickered away from his eyes. His dark blond eyebrows pulled together causing creases on his once smoothed out forehead.

I stared at him watching the transition between his expressions carefully. When he spoke it was harsh and cold.

"Don't mock me, Kairi," He whispered to me seriously. His cool winter fresh breath beat against my lips teasingly.

I felt my face flush in a mixture of anger and embarrassment.

"I'm not mocking you, I like you Roxas," I hesitated, turning away from his eyes before continuing. "When you said you hoped I developed feelings for you, you were right. I did develop feelings for you."

"You're just saying things; you're upset." He said solemnly, his hands falling away from me completely. "I know you don't mean them."

"Roxas I'm telling I like you and you're pushing me away?" I asked incredulously. Roxas merely frowned and shrugged his shoulders. I felt a stab of guilt.

His blue eyes hardened as he spoke the next word that almost made me collapse. "Sora." He breathed out.

The name sent a cold chill down my spine. Of course. Sora.

My arms around his neck loosened until they fell down. I took a step back and bowed my head. I felt sick.

"Right, Sora." I sighed.

I looked up at Roxas to see him half smiling at me sadly, the passion burning more prominently than before. I could see it in his eyes. The desire, all those pent up feelings. The _love_. It was burning, like a sun, with heat waves hitting me square in the face and blinding me.

I felt my cheeks rising in temperature, my heart fluttered, and I couldn't breathe in a steady rhythm.

It was exactly at that moment I realized something, something extremely important:

I wanted him too.

x.X.x

**Dun Dun Duh! I bet you weren't expecting that :O**

**Or maybe you were...idk. So I have finals this week at school, then FREEDOM! So you might be right in expecting another update during the weekend...or maybe next week. I want to take advantage of all the time I'll have. Anyway...**

**Review Review Review! :D :D  
**


	35. Chapter 34

**My awesome, bitchin' reviewers, merry - er - late Christmas! Sorry I meant to update it yesterday, but it wasn't finished yesterday! Well hell, I wanna finish this story sooo badly it isn't funny. T-T And I don't think that's going to happen in 2010 :/**

**Moving on to the chapter... It's pretty nice and long for you guys, yeah? I'm slowly getting my mojo back (a.k.a inspiration) so the chapters will probably stay around this length. Um, this chapter is well - how should I put it? - a little overwhelming. There's a bunch of things going on, and you might have to pay extra attention to subtle stuff. x/**

**Oh and also I want to thank all my reviewers (I love you guys) and especially one in particular: Smirking Idiot. Thanks for putting my mind back in track, without your little pep talk I probably wouldn't have updated until _next year._  
**

**Sorry for the long disclaimer...enjoy :D**

**Chapter 34**

x.X.x

_I want you._

It was burning in my throat, like the sensation a person feels right before they know something like acid is going to come up. Except I knew Pepto Bismol or any other kind of medicine couldn't take this feeling away.

I could feel it on the tip of my tongue, scraping at the top of my mouth, like a hard lollipop. But the taste wasn't sweet.

_I want you._

Just say it out loud, I thought, as he paused in his step and stared at me, over his shoulder. _Her _arm looped around his. He was radiating; it was unbearable. The sun rays were hitting me again, drawing me in like bees to honey. But I didn't move an inch. I just continued to watch the two of them in the hallways.

His blue eyes squinted in my direction before he raised a blonde eyebrow. I caught his mouth flutter as if he was saying something but I didn't hear anything. He was too far away.

Upon hearing his muted speech, _she_ tilted her head sideways to see me staring. Her pale face flushed a bright pink as she quickly undid her arm from his, scooting away.

He leaned down closer to her face, his eyes still on me, and whispered in her ear. The distance annoyed me greatly, now I wished I would have moved closer to hear them. Her eyebrows knitted together. She nodded her head gravely, flashing me a long last look.

I mustered a hard glare.

Then they both turned and continued their trek.

I watched him walk away. The way his soft honey blonde hair shined in the sunlight, through the school's high crisscrossed windows. Again with the stupid honey metaphor.

I shook my head and sighed heavily, turning to look at the brunette next to me, who –like me, albeit not as subtly – was staring at the angelic couple.

"You think they're together now?" He finally spoke out loud. I frowned which caused him to turn away sheepishly. "I mean you know, so we can give them that nickname status."

I shrugged my shoulders, reaching out to pick out the combination lock. I felt my lips fall into a deeper frown as I turned the knob left then right, remembering my first day at school and how worried I was over not knowing my combination. How easily _she_ volunteered to share her locker. Huh, imagine how that would have turned out.

I pulled out my books from my bag, dumping out the English text – stupid book was like an extra ten pounds – math book, art pencils, and all the other supplies that were absolutely necessary for the semester. Today was the last day of school, and then vacation. And quite honestly, I wasn't looking forward to it.

What was I going to do with myself? Mope around, because the guy that I may possibly have the hots for is off with my best friend who told me to –ahem – _fuck off_.

Or was I going to go all ninja and spy on their every move?

I disregarded that thought. I had a boyfriend, why was I even possibly thinking of wanting to spend time with some besides Sora. I turned towards said person to find him with his arms crossed over his chest, a deep pout set in his facial features.

A boyfriend that probably didn't even want to be in this relationship. I felt myself inwardly sigh. Did I even want to be in this relationship?

_I want you._

But did that even still apply towards Sora?

x.X.x

We all sat at the lunch table, even the new addition of the lovely blonde couple. I couldn't help but stare at them. The way Roxas had his arm behind Namine's chair, in such a casual way, as if it were the most normal thing to do on earth. The fact that the two became this close over those past weeks seemed to anger me to no end. It was understandable, this anger – ever since that sudden realization.

_I want you._

My gaze fell on Roxas in particular. His blue eyes were staring at the table, his blonde bangs brushing in his face. I had the sudden urge to reach out to push it back; I was already attempting to raise my hand, before I firmly held it on my lap. As if sensing he was being watched, Roxas head tilted up so that he was looking at me beneath his lashes.

And oh dear god, did the room get hotter?

His eyes narrowed before widening as he shot me a questioning stare. My cheeks reddened, and I attempted a weak smile, but my lips felt heavy. His dark eyebrows rose in a perfectly arched structure that would put rainbows to shame.

My stomach flitted as I watched his expression shift from confusion to amusement. His face darkened as he caught my nervous grin.

I lowered my eyes towards his lips, which during our whole staring contest, parted. I felt myself instinctively chewing my own lip, as I thought of the last time we had spoken to each other… alone.

_Kiss me._

If it was possible my face flushed an even deeper red. I was beginning to worry that I might have camouflaged with my own hair. And what was worse, Roxas was staring- oh god, what I wouldn't give to be hiding under a rock.

_What an idiot! Great Kairi, just great, you've made a fool out of us._

I was so caught up in my thoughts and how I referred to myself as a multiple party – _great I'm starting_ _to sound like Gollum now_ – that I didn't notice I was being addressed.

"So what do you guys think, huh?"

I blinked, tearing my eyes away from the blonde, to find the source of the voice breaking my thoughts. Hayner, Olette, and Pence were all staring at me curiously.

"What does who think?" I asked stupidly, feeling my cheeks angrily burn in embarrassment; Roxas's eyes were still on me then.

"You and Sora." Olette answered, glancing between me and said brunette. Sora snapped his head up.

"Huh? Did someone call me?"

I felt my embarrassment slide away, as I heard him speak. For some reason his question bugged me. As a matter of fact all of this interruption was bugging me. I was content with staring at my blonde bombshell in front of me and then these idiots had to burst my bubble.

Olette's green eyes narrowed as she glared at both of us.

"Were you two even listening?" She accused. Sora grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of his brown head. It annoyed me, that gesture. I don't know why, it just did. The way the little pink specks were peppered across his tan cheeks when he smiled. It seemed so – I don't know – stupid.

I disregarded this feeling. It was probably just school or something. Once vacation hits I'll make it up to him. The thought of making up anything to Sora set off another round of annoyance.

"Sora's daydreaming." Namine commented. My head snapped in her direction so quickly that she flinched. Immediately that warm smile faded from her face and she averted her eyes in such a way that it was almost as if I held a flashlight up in her face.

I felt bad, believe me, I did, but the sudden spur of anger just blocked any kind of sympathy. I still hated this girl. _This girl_. When did I become so angry to just address my best friend as just _this girl_? And when did I start to hate her?

My eyes flickered to Roxas; his face was tight and hard. The hand on the back of her chair clenched.

"Sorry, Olette, jeez." Sora muttered, flashing Namine a smile. I shouldn't have noticed the way she grinned back shyly and looked away. Or the way, she played with the end of her wavy blond hair. I shouldn't have noticed these things, so I just pretended I never saw it.

"What did you say?" I snapped abruptly, grabbing my carton of milk and biting the end of the straw. It didn't help or quell the anger, the sharp end of the stupid straw kept scraping the top of my mouth only making me even angrier than I initially was.

Olette shrunk from my aggressiveness. Hayner boldly took her place. His brown eyes glared back at me, as if daring me to say something to him.

"We want to have a party – " He started, but I quickly cut him off.

"No way, look how bad your birthday party turned out." I snapped. Subconsciously – more like stupidly – I turned towards Roxas, who was wearing a small smirk. My face flushed and I turned back towards Hayner.

"It was fun!" He defended.

"No it wasn't." I said, feeling my cheeks burn at the half lie. "My idiot of a cousin blew up your t.v."

Hayner's glare melted into a pout. "Oh right, I forgot about that."

"Well anyway," Olette finally came back into the conversation. "This isn't really a party _party_ just a small get together with close friends, yeah? It's the last day of school and we might not all see each other until next semester. This should be a sort of goodbye until next year, don't you think?"

She had a good point, I'll admit. But I wasn't really in the mood.

"That's an awesome idea." Sora blurted out, coming back to his chirpy old self. "We should do it over at my house. My dad bought a pool table last week. I could ask him if we can hang out down in the basement!"

Roxas nodded his head slightly, in agreement.

Ok, maybe my mood has shifted.

x.X,x

The rest of the school day didn't go by quick enough. I was – well – excited, I'll admit, about this little shindig party. I was going to Roxas's (and Sora's) house for the first time. My stomach did little back flips as I thought of his everyday routine in his house. What's his room like? What's in his fridge?

My thoughts were only interrupted when I found a familiar dark headed girl, sitting at her desk with her head down.

My excitement immediately faded when I saw her.

I tapped her on the shoulder.

"Xion, hey." I whispered. Her head snapped up, and I could tell she'd been sleeping. Her face was so pale, it looked like wax.

"Sorry." She yawned, her eyes half lidded. "I didn't sleep well."

I stared at her weirdly, the way she averted her eyes when she said that – as if she were lying.

"Oh…" I replied awkwardly, shifting my weight on either foot. "So are you going to that party?"

"Hmm, what party?" She looked confused. Her dark eyebrows pulled together as she shot me a confused stare.

"You know, the one at Sora's house… you were there when they said it during lunch." I pressed. She nodded her head absently as if she weren't paying attention. She probably wasn't.

x.X.x

The party was set to two hours after school – Olette wanted to _do_ something before. Huh, wonder what that could have been. So when the school bell rang, Sora decided that it was just easier if I went home with Roxas and him. And much to my disdain, Namine was part of this before _party VIP group_ as well – it was Roxas's _brilliant_ idea. I was pretty miffed that I forgot it was dwellings I was visiting. Heh, _dwellings_.

The walk there was unbearably awkward. I could practically feel those hatred waves the two cousins were directing towards each other.

And Namine and I wouldn't talk to each other, even if we were walking right beside the other. It almost felt normal, with the way the both of us were walking, almost. The only difference is that Namine was staring at the floor the entire time, leaving me to stare at the Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dum in front of us.

When we reached the house, I was only a little disappointed – it was a typical two story house. What is with everyone in this neighborhood having a two story house?

Namine immediately rushed through the house, as if she'd been there before. As if she owned the place, nervously saying that she was going to the bathroom. If anything that little gesture only made me even more annoyed.

"It's on the left right, Roxas?" She called back before bolting up the stairs.

"Yeah." He answered, before leaning against the doorway, waiting for me to walk in. There was that little smile on his lips that made my mind a little fuzzy. I felt Sora wrap his arm around me, for the first time the whole day. It was weird, it felt so odd to have his arm around me. I know I should have felt that way, it was probably because it was the first time.

Roxas's eyebrows rose in Sora's direction.

And then before I knew it, Sora pulled me in front of him and pressed his lips against mine. It was so random cold it felt like someone pushed my face against a door or something.

I reached up, putting my hands on his chest and pushing him away gently.

"Not _now_." I murmured at his questioning stare.

"Fine." It was a cold and harsh response, and I hated it. But what I hated more was the way Roxas frowned and turned away from my apologetic gaze.

He coughed uncomfortably and ran a hand through his hair.

"I'll set up the basement." He muttered, before walking down the hallway in – what I guess – was the direction of the basement. I turned back to Sora

"You can be such a jerk sometimes." I snapped, moving out from his arms.

"What did I do, now?" He said, crossing his arms over his chest. I rolled my eyes. "Go on tell me Kairi."

I sighed heavily, reaching forward and pecking him on the cheek. However his annoyed expression did not waver.

"I'm sorry." I finally said, before walking upstairs. I heard Sora calling after me, but I didn't pay attention after that.

Once I was on the second story, I went to the nearest door, hoping it wasn't the bathroom and threw it open, closing it right behind me.

It wasn't the bathroom; it looked like someone's bedroom. I let out a deep breath in relief, once I leaned against the closed door. When I saw the messy bed cover I immediately knew whose room this was. _Checkered_ covers.

I was in _Roxas's_ room.

I looked around it. The walls were a bare white and there was only one thing hanging on the walls, besides the bedroom lamp, a skateboard with a few empty rack spaces. I stared at it; it was probably new. I couldn't find any scratches and the bottom board's body was so shiny I could see a blurry reflection of myself.

It was unexpected how blank it looked, almost reminded me of Namine's room; they both had the same color scheme. Slightly annoyed by the fact I flopped myself on the bed, feeling the springs in it crinkle. It wasn't made; the checkered covers were thrown forward, practically dangling off the end of the bed. The winter fresh scent was so strong in here I thought I might get drunk off of it. It wasn't bugging me, oh god no, I was enjoying it.

This _was_ his room. It reeked of Roxas. I slowly sunk into the bed, feeling the sheets bury me in a fresh minty wonderland. I carefully laid my head in the nearest pillow, inhaling the smell. God it smelled just like him. My lips pulled up into a smile, as I pulled it down towards my chest, and wrapped my arms around it.

I was perfectly content with laying there this whole party. But I realized it was pretty stalkerish of me, and if there's anything I'm not, it's a stalker. I sighed heavily, letting go of the pillow and pushing myself up with my hand. But the sound of something crinkling caught my attention.

I pushed away the pillow to find a red 70 page spiral notebook, with a bunch of slashed out lines on the front cover. Pretty obvious who this belonged to.

I chewed my lip toying with the front cover. I know I shouldn't have been snooping around in his room, especially a suspicious looking notebook, but I couldn't help it.

Eagerly, I flipped over the front cover to find a date in August, the beginning of the year.

_8/24- Same homeroom._

I pursed my lips, slightly confused before moving on to the next phrase.

_8/25- She's angry with me. Apologize ASAP._

_8/30- I hate myself._

_9/4- She likes __**Sora**__._

_9/19- Rejected. _

I felt the room start to spin slightly, as I slowly started to realize what all of these dates meant. My fingers flipped to the next page, shakily.

_12/1- Told her I loved her. Stupid, stupid, stupid._

_12/2- Rejected… again. She's with him now._

More flipping.

_12/5- Xion's back. Kairi's annoyed ;)_

I felt like ripping the page after reading that statement. Cheeky bastard.

_12/7- They broke up; Sora's an idiot._

I felt a wave of guilt as I continued to flip through the pages, avoiding the next series of events on this timeline. Towards the end of the notebook, I could see he gave up on the timeline, making numerous scratch marks on the last event. I squinted my eyes, even held up the light, but it was so blackened out I couldn't read anything.

I gave up after the whole _light_ plan and continued on.

I found my name scribbled on the margins, in his messy handwriting. _Kairi, Kairi, Kairi_- it was everywhere.

I turned to the last page to find it all filled up, with something that _almost_ made me tear up.

_I love her_ was written all over the page. My fingers flipped to the back to find the same phrase written down along the page. Front and back. Even the back cover was covered with the same phrase, only bigger.

I felt my chest swell as I ran my fingers over the indentation the pen left on the paper. Running my fingers over the _loves_.

He loves-

"Whoa!"

My head snapped up to see the owner of the notebook, gaping at me. His pale face flushed a dark red in seconds as his eyes landed on the notebook in my hands.

I looked down at the notebook and quickly stuffed it under the nearest pillow. My face reddened matching his.

"Hey Roxas," I said nervously. "What – uh – brings you here?"

His blue eyes were still wide, and he looked absolutely paralyzed.

"This is my _room_." He seethed, his voice shaking slightly.

"Really I didn't even realize – "

"What were you reading?" He demanded, storming towards me, and fishing out the notebook underneath the pillow. Once he pulled it out, his face – if it was even possible – turned so red that it was looking purple.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- "

"Why are you in here?"

"I just – I don't know – I was curious and…" I trailed off, rising from the bed suddenly and making my way towards the door as fast as I could. "I'm sorry!"

Roxas stared back down at the notebook in his hand, before tossing it aside, and sinking into his bed.

"No, sorry, it's fine. I overreacted." He mumbled weakly. His arms were resting on his knees and his hands were in his face. "You can stay if you want to."

I hesitated at the door, my heart pounding so loud I thought you could have heard it a mile away. I chewed my lip nervously before slowly walking back to the bed and taking a seat next to him. The fact that my leg was pressed against his definitely did not calm my crazed heartbeats.

"I'm sorry." I apologized again.

"Don't worry about it; it's not like you didn't know." He replied sullenly, his voice slightly muffled because of his hands.

My lips pulled up into a small smile.

"Hey come on, don't be like that." I said, reaching out and plucking his hands away from his face. It was still a deep red. "There's nothing wrong with-"

"You're making me feel like some kind of pervy stalker." He snapped with a deep pout on his face – it was really adorable.

"Yeah, and being in someone's room, laying in their bed and smelling the pillows for their winter fresh smell isn't stalkerish." I blurted out without thinking. Roxas laughed before stopping and shooting me a confused stare.

"Wait what?"

My face flushed angrily. I turned away, and scooted from him. I could feel his curious stare on me now and it wasn't helping the hardcore blush on my cheeks.

"Nothing." I said hurriedly.

"Winter fresh?" I could hear the tease in his voice.

"Oh god, just leave it alone!"

"I smell like a gum brand, really?" He probed. "You know, no ones ever told me that."

I turned back to glare at him.

"I'm leaving." I snapped, rising from my seat. I didn't take as much as two steps before I felt his hand around my wrist. That small touch sent shivers down my spine. "What?"

"Don't go." He said simply.

Just the look on his face would have made me do anything for him. I wouldn't admit it though. Never, I would never admit it. I shot him a dirty look, before occupying the seat I abandoned.

We both stayed in his room for most of the pre- party. Sitting in silence, and occasionally conversing. It was times like this I really wondered why on earth I picked Sora over Roxas. He was lying on the floor, while I was on his bed; he felt that was appropriate. Appropriate, my ass.

During the whole distraction of a conversation, I took the time to subtly roll off the bed and lay next to him. He didn't notice, or if he did, he didn't say anything. I stared up at the ceiling to notice the glow in the dark stars.

"Oh!" I exclaimed, raising my hand and pointing it upward. "You still have those too?" He tilted his head back, stretching his neck. I chewed my lip resisting the urge to bury my face there.

"Yeah. And they still glow too." He said, before jumping up and turning out the lights. The setting sun wasn't helping much with the dark, even when Roxas pulled the curtains.

I turned back to the stars when he lay back down, to watch them glow dimly.

"They don't work well." I commented.

"It's still light out, idiot."

I pouted, crossing my arms over my chest. "Sor_ry_. Mr. Know-It-All."

We both stared in silence at the glowing stars, before I broke it.

"Why did you get them in the first place?" I questioned, tilting my head to stare at him. Bad idea. He was staring at me the whole time. I could see his blue eyes, bright and smoldering. "I-I mean were you scared of the dark or something."

He scoffed, turning away from me. "No. I just liked them."

"Well I was afraid of the dark. My dad didn't want me wasting electricity when I used to leave my bedroom light on, so he bought me the stars."

His eyebrows raisied. "Really now?" I knew he was making fun of me.

I elbowed him. "It wasn't all the time. When Namine used to spend the night. You'd think for someone so fragile and small they would be terrified of the dark too, but she wasn't. Actually she loves it. She likes all that mysterious crap. She told me the only reason people are afraid of the dark is because they can't see what's out there, which is accurate, I – " I stopped suddenly, realizing what the hell I was talking about.

I felt my expression cringe at the slip up. Idiot. Why on earth would I want to mention her?

Roxas's head snapped in my direction immediately upon hearing her name. It was as if he was attuned to her now, and that made me livid. I frowned and turned away from him.

"You love her, don't you?" He said. It was more of a statement. I clenched my teeth, and tried to look anywhere but him.

"What gives you that impression?" I snapped.

"She's your best friend- "

"_Was_ my best friend."I corrected stubbornly.

Roxas's face fell and he gave me a really sad look, as if it pained him to see me. I hated that.

"People make mistakes." He said. "She told me what happened between you two."

"Really?" I asked sullenly. "You two have become really close now haven't you?"

"Kairi." His voice was strained, and I could detect a slight twinge of anger in his tone. "It's not like that. After reading my notebook, I'd think you would have enough sense to realize that the only person I'm interested in is you."

My anger subsided. I chewed my lip and turned back to look at him.

"Please, she needs a friend now."

I opened my mouth to protest but he cut me off.

"No, she needs _you_."

I hesitated.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" I asked suddenly. His face clouded over and I definitely caught anger and frustration flash in his expression.

"You _know_ what happened." He answered finally. "It's not rocket science to figure out what that bastard tried to do."

"Tried?" I pressed. "So he didn't do anything to her?"

"Nothing serious, before I stopped him." He reassured. "But he probably scared her more than anything."

I felt my heart sink as I thought of Namine. I was being selfish with not talking to her. Even if she was avoiding me, I should have made more of an effort.

x.X.x

Eventually people began to arrive, and our time had to be taken in the basement. It wasn't as great as Roxas's room, mainly because everyone else was down here too. Roxas was sitting, half lying on the bean bag chair that overlooked the basement, while I sat on a random amp (don't even ask). Namine was watching Sora attempt to play pool, while he tried to get her to play. I rolled my eyes at this and continued to observe the guests that were already here.

Olette and Hayner were off in one corner doing god knows what. I kept hearing her giggle, and him complaining loudly. Whatever, not going to go into it.

Xion was sitting on the basement steps, with that frown on her face.

I got up from my seat and sat on the step beneath her.

"You okay?" I questioned, flashing a concerned smile. She shrugged shoulders halfheartedly, not even trying to make a smile.

"Define okay." She deadpanned.

I frowned, before reaching out and putting my hand over hers. "Riku's not invited, so you don't have to worry." I tried to reassure. She snatched her hand back as if she was burned (that hurt me a little) and turned away.

"You don't have to do that Kairi." She said sharply, before getting up from her seat and walking to the mini fridge. I watched as she pulled a can of coke from the shelf, and played with the can nervously. She sighed heavily before putting it back in the fridge.

I didn't question her after that.

x.X.x

The party in general wasn't really a party. Thank god. There was no dancing, only Sora seemed that interested in the pool table. Namine too. And by the looks of it she was the one winning. Who would've known she was a natural at it?

Roxas was still on the bean bag, occasionally throwing me glancing. It was annoying how fast my face would turn red whenever I caught him staring.

Hayner and Olette were acting like the most hormonal couple on the face of the earth, Pence was playing with this new camera he got, and Xion was being the biggest downer of a party. What has the world come to?

And I? I was resuming my seat back on the amp, drinking a Coke, and trying to sneak glances at Roxas before he caught me. Not that anyone else noticed. It wasn't so bad, this arrangement. It wasn't until Namine had the brightest idea.

She tilted her head so that she was looking over her shoulder.

"Hey Roxas, come play billiards."

Yeah. She _would_ call it billiards.

Roxas ran a hand through his hair and got up from his seat, breaking the calm arrangement.

"I don't really play…" He trailed off, hoping she'd take the hint. She just shot him an incredulous stare before motioning him forward.

"It's all about angles." She said importantly. Roxas smirked before bending down to attempt to hit the ball; it was as lousy as Sora's. His face darkened.

My attention shifted over to Namine who looked as if she were trying her hardest not to laugh.

"Put the right amount of pressure – here," She moved her hand over his and fixed it into the proper position. I didn't even realize I was spilling my Coke can.

"You know what why don't we – uh – watch a movie or something. Yeah, movies are great!" I blurted out, wiping my hand on the back of my jeans to hide the spill.

"Yeah let's a watch a movie!" Sora agreed anxiously. It didn't occur to me that my boyfriend agreed wholeheartedly to stop playing this, then. I was still focused on the way she had her hand over Roxas's. I didn't realize it then. I honestly didn't.

Hayner opened his mouth to complain that he didn't want to see a movie. I don't think anyone really cared at this point. This party was turning out pretty lame, and that's saying something, considering the fact that I hate parties.

I was about to tell him to shut up, before I heard a loud thud, near the doorway.

"Did you guys hear that?" I said suddenly.

"Hear what?" Pence asked, looking white faced and scared.

"That sound, didn't you hear – "

The door burst open before we even realized it. A dark figure formed. My pulse raced in anticipation as I stared the figure. I was getting a pretty freaked out. I felt myself move automatically behind Roxas. The hulking black spot rose up on it's feet, as if it fallen, until the light shown on it, reflecting silvery hair.

"C'mon guys! Where's the party!" His broad voice boomed throughout the basement. It was-

"_Riku_!" Xion blurted out, nearly making all of us jump in surprise by her sudden outburst.

"Xion." Riku, himself, walked out and stopped in front of her. He looked so huge next to her small self at that moment. "You guys having the time of your lives without me? Funny, I didn't get an invitation Sora."

Sora grimaced and looked away.

"Riku, what the hell?" Xion was face was red and twisted with fury.

Riku looked down, and I could see his pleading green aquamarine eyes beneath his bangs; they were, like, _glowing_.

"What are you doing here?" She demanded, her blue eyes narrowing into a hard glare. He took a step closer and she backed up. His hand outstretched to meet her cheek but she turned away.

"Xion." He repeated weakly. "I-I needed to see you." His teeth clenched, and he bowed his head. "Please, Xion, I-"

"Just go home." She interrupted harshly, I almost didn't recognize her. "No one likes you, nobody wants you here."

"Please I want to talk to you." He said. Her hard expression slipped and I clearly saw the fear and pain beneath those blue eyes. I knew then it was hurting her probably as much as it was that stupid prick. And it was at that moment that I realized that maybe she really didn't want to end things with him either.

It never occurred to me that all of this time, she was probably still in love with him too. That maybe she was pushing him away to save the both of them from getting even more hurt.

Her lips trembled as she reached up to hastily wipe her eyes. I heard her sniff briefly, before crossing her arms over her chest.

"What are you doing to yourself?" She asked, her voice breaking towards the end of her question.

Riku's eyes narrowed and I saw his fists clench.

"I'm trying to win you back-"

"You've become someone I don't recognize." She cried. "I don't know who you are anymore. You're scaring me, Riku."

Xion closed her eyes, and ran her hands through her hair. She took in a deep breath, and when she let it out, it was all ragged and harsh. Her face was harsh.

"You don't want _anyone_ to care." She spat out halfheartedly, turning her face away from him. Riku attempted to step closer to her, put his arms around her, but she pushed him back.

"I-I, Xion I want you to-"

"You think I _want_ you?" She stammered out suddenly. "After everything? After all of this that you've caused? Riku you tore apart friendships and trust."

"I only did it because-"

"Because of what?" She demanded. "Because of me? Do you think doing all of this will make me want you back?" Her face crumpled for a second, and she bowed her head to cover herself, but it didn't hide the sobbing noises she was making. "I know what you did to Namine."

Xion tilted her head towards said blonde, who looked as if she'd seen a ghost. Her face paled immediately, as if the blood was drained out and her eyes darkened. Xion shot her a sympathetic stare, before turning back to glower at Riku.

"You think I can get her crying out of my head. You did this. You're the reason everything is so messed up. I _hate_ you. I can't even imagine myself taking you back. You've ruined everything."

"Xion-"

"Just _leave_! Go away!"

Riku stood there, staring at her incredulously as if _he_ couldn't believe what she was telling him.

"I love you."

"Don't lie, and don't ever say that to me again." She said finally. The shakiness in her voice fading away. "Namine doesn't want you, Sora and Roxas don't want you. And I certainly will never ever want you. So just go away!"

Regardless of everything he'd done, there was a flash I caught. That little boy, before he smiled.

"Look at all of you," He threw his head back and laughed. "I hate you all." More laughing. "Just wait, just you wait."

And with that he stormed off, still cackling the whole way up the basement stairs.

The silence was unnerving. All of our eyes were on Xion. She was standing still, and for a moment she almost resembled a statue. But at the last second she collapsed on the floor and let out a heartbreaking cry.

Namine bent down, wrapping her arms around her, and letting her cry on her shoulder.

And just like that, the dynamics of _everything_ changed.

x.X.x

**NO cliffhanger alert for once x)**

**Thank you for reading and - I'm so glad to say this in a sad, weird way - this story will soon come to an end. Just thought I'd let you guys know. **

**Please: REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW**

**Hope you had a great Christmas :D  
**


	36. Chapter 35

-HOLY SHAMALAMADINGDONG I CAUGHT A MISTAKE..*FIXING FIXING FIXING*

**Well, I'm sorry for getting your hopes up readers :/**

**As I said before in the previous disclaimer, "I got my mojo back"...well just as quickly as I got it, I kinda - well- lost it. :(**

**I know, it's terrible. But good news is I've started writing the next chapter, so maybe I really am getting inspired again. But I won't say for sure - don't want to jinx myself. Well this chapter is kind of...heavy on the roxiri side, hopefully you guys'll like the end. I worked hard on the end T_T. Also it should feel a little familiar.**

**Completely irrelevant things concerning the author:**

**-Got inspired for a Nami/Kai story...yeah... I like Yuri too get over it :)  
**

**-So I'm pretty upset...watched the Mtv version of Skins ._. (fail)**

**-Saw Black Swan. It was totally epic, if you haven't seen it you must immediately! O.O  
**

**Uh well, not much else to say. Saw the new Kingdom Hearts game...and I'm pretty iffy on buying it. I think I'd rather watch the cutscenes on youtube, lmao (cheater)**

**Anyway, I hope you lot enjoy this long awaited chapter. Oh and sorry about the monthly updates, I'm really trying to finish this already.**

**x.X.x**

**Ch. 35**

x.X.x

No one really spoke of the party after that. Xion went about as if nothing had happened, as if we hadn't seen her completely break down. It was almost _like_ it never happened. Almost. Namine and Xion; that was a huge significant change in the dynamics of our whole group's friendship. The both of them topped the cake when it came to the best of friends on the planet.

I didn't barge or try to rekindle my friendship with either of them. After all they had something in common, something that united them into this kind of bond that I knew I could never get close to.

It hurt, but I learned to accept it.

So I planned to wallow away my whole winter vacation.

But my plan never really existed, seeing as Sora would try to set up dates with me almost every day. I knew he was trying really hard, almost too hard where it made me a little suspicious.

"Why are so pushy?" I mumbled over the phone, lying on my bed. I didn't even feeling like getting out.

He laughed shortly on the other line. "I can bet that you're probably still in your pj's."

I flushed angrily, throwing the covers away and rolling off my bed.

"Am not..._jerk_." I snapped.

"Come on get ready, I'll be over in an hour." He said.

"Where are we going so early?" I complained.

"Kairiiii it's like almost noon!"

I felt a smile on my lips. It was a long time since I felt this excited to meet with Sora. I felt a little guilty for giving him the cold shoulder and ignoring him the past couple of days. It wasn't his fault really. And maybe I'd been getting too obsessed with Roxas.

So what if I'd just had an epiphany that I suddenly am _thoroughly_ attracted to him, he's not the one I'm with.

x.X.x

That little logic didn't last very long.

x.X.x

Sora – as promised – arrived at my doorstep exactly an hour after that phone call. He was wearing a large sweater – looked like he double layered – and cargo shorts.

"You're wearing shorts," I deadpanned, stepping out, zipping up my sweater. "In the cold." He looked down at his legs and then looked me over. His blue eyes narrowed slightly.

"That sweater is awfully big isn't it?" He noted, putting a thoughtful finger on his chin. "I don't remember owning a sweater that's has checkered squares on it Kairi."

My face flushed despite the tight glare I held on my face. I turned my head away with a loud sniff, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Whatever, ok, let's just go." I grumbled, sticking my hands in the pockets. "Where are you taking me anyway?" I added, once we were climbing down the porch stairs and heading towards the sidewalk. The deep chilly breeze hit me square in the face and I was so tempted to just run back inside my house. It was freezing cold.

The sky was even beginning to get murky looking again. More rain.

"Don't worry about it." Sora said in a sing song sort of way, looping his arm with mine. "You're my _prisoner_ remember?"

My lips curved into a small smile. It felt like such a long time ago, when things were just… simple.

"Where's the rope and duck tape?" I teased. He looked down at me with his blue eyes, and winked. The playful banter didn't last as long as it would have done in the past. In fact, even in the beginning it seemed a little strained.

x.X.x

"We're going to the movies, aren't we?" I deadpanned, sitting on the bus stop bench, with my arms crossed. Sora choked and bent over.

"What?" He spluttered out nervously. "What makes you think that?"

"I don't know, we're taking the bus route, that kind of sort of, leads directly to the theaters." I said snidely. He pouted, turning away.

"I knew it would have been more of a surprise if we hitched a ride with Xion." He mumbled under his breath. His eyes still glued to the cement floor.

"Eh? Who else is going?" I asked suddenly at his mention of Xion. Immediately, upon asked this question he smacked his forehead as if he said something he shouldn't have, which only made my suspicion increase. "Sora?"

He didn't answer me though, and continued to avoid the question the whole bus ride to the theater. I shouldn't have noticed the light flush across his tanned face, or the way he was practically bouncing in his seat. This behavior – it was very familiar.

x.X.x

I should have realized immediately why he was so – so excited for this _date_. I could feel my own anticipation dampen when I caught Xion and Namine sitting on the benches with sea-salt ice cream in their hands.

Upon seeing me, I caught Namine's expression falter slightly. Her lips quivered into a tiny frown, and I knew I was the only one that noticed.

"Namine!" Sora called out, bounding toward her like a puppy. It felt like déjà vu, it seriously did. I trailed behind him slowly, watching the scene in front of me. Sora grinning like a kid on Christmas, Namine smiling back shyly, and Xion just laughing at the both of them. I felt awkward, when I know I shouldn't have.

Where did I even fit in this scene?

"Ugh! Sora you idiot, you dropped my ice cream!" Xion exclaimed breaking me from my thoughts. I turned to see the thoroughly sour expression on her face, at the ice cream splattered on the cement.

"Sorry! You're the one with the butter fingers." Sora defended, crossing his arms over his chest childishly.

"You tackled me!" Xion retorted. "And it went flying into it's untimely death."

"You're so dramatic, c'mon I'll buy you a new one then. I want one anyway." He said with an eye roll, grabbing her arm and yanking her with him. I opened my mouth to protest, or attempt to follow him, but he called over his shoulder. "We'll be back, do you want anything?"

I took too long to respond because he just shrugged a shoulder and continued to drag Xion in the direction of the ice cream shop.

Aghast I dropped on the nearest bench, glaring daggers at their backs. How could they leave me alone here with –

Speaking of whom, Namine sat down too.

She squirmed slightly in her seat, her ice cream pressed against her fingers untouched. I could feel her leaning away from me as far as possible without it being so noticeable. It didn't really offend me, maybe it was because I was so uncomfortable.

Besides after all, I kind of suspected she'd still be this way around me. Awkward. Shy. Embarassed. Ashamed. It was so obvious reading the emotions flit through her expression as she sat there.

A miniature stream of the blue ice cream trailed down the Popsicle stick, running through her palms and landed on her jeans.

"It's melting." I found myself saying without even realizing it. Her head snapped up as she stared at me with confusion. My face heated up, and I looked away. "You're ice cream; it's melting." I clarified. She looked down, noticing the tiny puddle on her knee.

"Oh." She mumbled, trying to rub it away, only to just realize her hand had ice cream on them too. Automatically, her hand reached upward, and she licked her palm, but stopped. Her face turned red immediately, and I knew what was coming. I couldn't have prevented it even if I wanted to.

A loud snort escaped my mouth, causing her gaze to flash towards me with surprise. Soon the snort turned into actually laughter upon seeing Namine's face slowly fade into a pout.

"_Kairi_, stop laughing! You're making me feel like a – " She came to a sudden halt.

Pretty soon my own laughter died out after seeing the confusion in her face. I probably could understand, that it might have slipped out. She probably didn't realize exactly _who_ she was scolding. It was a little disappointing, I'll admit. For one brief second, it felt like before, before it got complicated in our friendship.

I pursed my lips and looked down.

I didn't say anything; I didn't know quite exactly what to say. What do you say to a best friend that probably wanted nothing to do with you?

"Kairi," The sound of her whispery voice almost made me jump in my seat. I blinked abruptly before turning to look at Namine. I could still clearly see confusion in her blue eyes, but I caught something else. Her lips were pulled into a miserable frown, and she looked like she'd burst into tears at any second.

"Kairi." She repeated, abandoning her ice cream and turning her body to fully face me. She opened her mouth, but then closed it quickly, her expression struggling.

I would have let out a few encouraging words but they caught in my throat as I noticed someone walking towards us.

"Roxas!" I didn't mean to sound so happy, but my voice sounded like a kid's squeal Christmas morning. Even Namine briefly shot me a surprised glance.

Roxas lifted his head to meet my face, and just nodded in response. He didn't even give me a second glance. There was something odd about the way he was carrying himself. No, not odd necessarily, but _oddly_ familiar.

His hands were shoved in his pockets and he was looking towards the left with a deep scowl on his features. He didn't even come to sit down next to me, or greet me with a better response than a _nod_.

It took me a few moments to realize that he was acting the same way in the beginning of the school year. Cold, distant and closed off.

I was staring at him, and I knew he was aware of my gaze, but he firmly kept his in the left direction. He was hiding something. I knew this behavior was all a façade; it was when he was trying to hide his feelings from me in the beginning.

After an agonizingly long minute, he turned to meet my gaze with a cold harsh glare. I probably would have flinched if I wasn't expecting it. His ice hard blue eyes, melted for a split second. I raised an eyebrow questioningly and he just shook his head warningly. As if he was brushing off my concern like dust on a table.

I would have said something – done something stupid, completely forgetting Namine in or presence – if it wasn't for Sora's voice breaking our staring contest.

"Hey Kairi! I got you an ice cream!" He bellowed, galloping over towards us, Xion following with a sheepish expression.

He broke away from my gaze first to look at Sora, who stopped in front of me. His eyes narrowed before turning away.

I coughed and snapped my attention towards the brunette who was holding the frozen delight in front of my face.

"It's sea-salt ice cream, your favorite right?" He exclaimed, reaching for my hand and placing the popsicle in it.

"Sora," I hesitated, flicking my eyes to the blue treat. "I haven't even eaten yet."

"That's what you get for waking up so late!" He scolded, his mouth already blue from dipping into his popsicle. "Besides, I don't see the point in people wasting their appetites on silly things like meals. Dessert's the only dish people actually care for."

I rolled my eyes at his logic, and I heard Namine let out a soft giggle. Sora's blue eyes flickered in her direction, a wide smile gracing his lips.

"See even Namine agrees with me!" He continued, walking over towards her and patting her blonde head. She winced, but I still caught the way her face lightly flushed at his touch.

Sora's smile faded when he notice the blonde standing awkwardly off to the side.

"Roxas," He muttered. "Didn't think you'd be joining us today."

Roxas's jaw clenched and he turned towards Sora with a stone cold glare that sent shivers down my spine.

"Don't." Roxas said lowly.

"I'm just saying –"

"I said _don't_."

x.X.x

Quite honestly I was feeling a little miffed that whatever it was that was bugging Roxas, he couldn't confide in me. Did we really come back to this? This weird, awkward, friends-but-not-friend's, relationship?

It would have been an understatement to say he was being a downer in our little friend's group. I was worried, I mean who wouldn't be?

Sora, on the other hand, seemed to ignore Roxas's _fun sucking_ vibe, and did everything in his power to make the day enjoyable. We went out to that burger place Sora and I ate at in the past. It felt like visiting a distant family's house.

Sora immediately reserved the big booth, and hurried us in there before someone else took it. I found myself sitting across from the surly blonde. He was glaring out the window, through the narrow gap between the blinds. I could see the sun casting gleaming in little stripes on his face. It would have been more attractive if he was – well – not angry.

His dark blonde eyebrows were pulled together tightly, and his lips were tied down into a deep frown. His hard blue eyes flickered in my direction, and he shot me an annoyed look.

"What?" He snapped.

I blinked abruptly feeling my face heat up at being caught.

"I-is something wrong?" I mumbled.

His eyes narrowed, and he shook his head roughly, turning his attention back towards the window. I frowned.

"So what do you think Kairi?" Sora's bubbly voice sounded so far away, he had to address me twice. "Hello, Kairi?"

"Hm?" I answered, turning to look at him abruptly.

"So what do you think?"

"About what?" I asked, staring at all three of them with a confused expression. Namine looked away hurriedly, Sora stared at me incredulously, and Xion's eyes were flickering towards me then Roxas, suspiciously.

"The baseball game we're planning this Friday."

I felt myself frown when I heard the word baseball. Oh joy. P.E is still coming to haunt me, I thought bitterly.

"Baseball game for what?" I deadpanned.

"So we can get together with our friends." Xion answered, that suspicious look still in her eyes. "Besides what were you planning to do the whole vacation? Wallow away?"

I felt my face flush at her question.

"You were weren't you!" Xion broke out into laughter.

_Am I really that easy to read?_

"Yes you are 're like an open book." Xion answered, causing me to gape.

"What how did you know what I was thinking?" I demanded. Xion shrugged her shoulders, and slurped on her drink. I pouted and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Why baseball anyway?"

"I don't know, it beats being at home with… " Sora trailed off, sending a pointed look in Roxas's direction. It upset me how Roxas didn't even bother coming back with a retort or a glare – just ignored us all together. "Anyway I miss that lil' perv Pence, and Hayner and Olette's overly affectionate behavior, don't you?"

"I guess." I sighed.

Xion opened her mouth to counter my remark, but a loud ringing paused her speech. She quickly dug in her pocket and pulled out her tiny cell phone. Immediately when her eyes found the screen, she frowned.

"Oh great." She snapped, flipping her phone open.

"What is it?" Namine probed timidly.

"My cousin sent a text…" Xion trailed off, pressing a button – looking as if she was reading the text message. Then all of a sudden her blue eyes widened in horror. "Oh no!"

"What?" I questioned seriously, seeing the panic in her eyes. "Is she okay? Did something happen?"

Her hand found its way in her hair, and she tugged at it silently, with that same shocked expression on her face.

"Xion!" Sora yelled, waving a hand in front of her face.

"She's coming." Xion said in a small voice. Her eyes flickered to Roxas then to Sora. Sora's curious eyes fell and turned dark, his lips down in a frown. Even Roxas managed to look at Xion with a raised brow. Obviously they knew what was going on.

"Who?" I asked, feeling utterly confused

"I thought you didn't tell her you moved!" Sora said exasperatedly looking just as scared as Xion did.

"I didn't!" Xion snapped, closing her phone. "I don't know how she found out." She paused, both hands raking in her short black hair. Her expression was screwed up as if she were thinking really hard. "Ugh, it must have been the parentals."

"Why would they do that?" Sora cried, banging his head on the table. "Why!"

"Wait, what's wrong with her coming?" I asked, looking at the two in their nervous breakdowns.

"Kairi, she's terrible!" Sora said with wide eyes. "You have no idea how terrible she is!"

"I don't understand." Namine said quietly.

"She's the reason I had to cut my hair." Xion seethed. "It was so nice and long, and pretty, and then she had to sneak up on me with scissors. It was horrible!"

"One time, she pushed me in the pool, when I was wearing my brand new air breather shoes." Sora said seriously.

"You wear air breather shoes?"

He flushed an angry red. "Look that's not the point of the story. The point is that she's terrible."

"Okay…" I deadpanned, staring at the two of them with raised eyebrows.

"So we have an extra player for the baseball game…" Xion muttered sullenly.

"What why are you inviting for?"

"I can't just not invite her!"

I stayed quite the whole while they were planning their little fun baseball game, now with Xion's fun little cousin thrown into the mix.. I was totally against this idea. It was just another opportunity for me to make a complete idiot out of myself. I was not too keen on that happening, especially in front of Roxas.

I turned my head towards said blonde. He was still glaring out the window. What on earth could he be staring at? I followed his line of sight to be met with the streets and the cars driving by.

I came to the conclusion that he was probably just thinking and wasn't staring at anything in particular.

x.X.x

The movie was finally going to start. I don't know why we had to wait an hour for a movie when there were probably other showings. Anyway, it was this typical scary movie. Don't ask why there was even a scary movie in theaters around Christmas time – I had no idea.

When we walked into the film room, the previews were still rolling. Carefully, I crept through the darkness and took a seat, Sora following with Namine at his tail, Xion at hers, and to my disappointment Roxas behind her.

I didn't question the seating arrangement, but I was still allowed to sulk right?

x.X.x

Throughout the whole movie I couldn't help but constantly glance down the row at Roxas. He was still pretty upset. That much I was sure of. I was tempted to walk up from my seat and sit down next to Roxas, but I resisted. Sora had stretched out his arm behind my chair.

I probably would have enjoyed it, but right now the gesture was annoying me to no end. I mean, hello, his cousin is upset for some weird reason, and all your concerned about is trying to touch me?

Boys.

I wasn't enjoying the film. I wasn't even watching it. So I had no idea what was going on when the main character (I think) walked into the car with her friends. They drove the car, the music loud – howling on the streets. I tried imagining that in real life. How annoying would that be to see a bunch of rowdy teenagers yelling out of speeding car?

My thoughts were soon broken when the music suddenly quickened in anticipation, and a loud crash broke out through the room.

The teenagers ran into another car, the main character was screaming her head off at seeing her friends unconscious.

I'll admit I wasn't expecting this to happen in the movie, and I was pretty sure no one else was, because as soon as that scene was over, Roxas stood up abruptly and stalked out. Automatically I felt myself rise, and attempt to chase after him.

"Where are you going?" Sora hissed, as I passed by him.

"I-I, uh, bathroom." I stammered, going off at a run. I barely reached the end of the row when I caught the back of a blonde head storm out the door into the lobby.

I didn't even take more than two steps when I felt a hand clamp around my wrist. I spun my head around to find myself face to face with Xion. Her expression was grim, and the lighting of the room only made her face creepier looking.

"I don't think that's a good idea." She whispered.

"Why not?" I questioned, prying my wrist away from her grasp. "Something's wrong with him."

"Kairi, he's not… I mean," She struggled for a moment. "I'm not sure there's much you can do right now."

I pulled my eyebrows together and stared at her intensely. She knew.

"Why's he upset, Xion?"

She looked away with a deep frown.

"I told him not to come-"

"Xion!" I half yelled.

"Ok ok!" she snapped, covering my mouth with her hand. "Well – uh – today's the day that y'know…the accident happened."

x.X.x

I was running around the whole cinema, trying to find him.

I should have known. I was too stupid to notice. Of course he'd leave the theater after watching a car accident in the movie.

He was nowhere to be found

Xion volunteered to help me look for him, although reluctantly; I could tell didn't really want to look for him. Maybe it was best to leave him alone.

After about ten minutes of running in circles by the concession stand, it finally occurred to me that maybe he was outside. I jogged towards the nearest door and yanked it open to find the exact person I was looking for.

I chewed my lip as I found him sitting outside the theater and leaning against the brick wall, looking like some kind of helpless stray cat. My stomach squirmed nervously; at the way he seemed to be stock still. If it weren't for his clothes, anyone could have mistaken him for a hobo.

My foot was still jammed to prevent the door from shutting me out of the theater. I was worried, but I wasn't about to lose out on the ten dollars I spent for the ticket.

I was close to calling out to him and making him come back inside, but the way his face was buried in his knees made the words catch in my throat. I felt myself shiver.

Something was wrong.

With a small sigh, I moved my foot, letting the door close with a small snap, and made my way towards the lonesome blonde. He didn't see me approaching him, or if he did, he didn't show it. I awkwardly stood in front of him, staring down at him with a mixture of worry and curiosity.

It wasn't until I notice the way his shoulders were shaking, that I immediately dropped down.

"Roxas." I whispered, reaching out and putting a hand on his shoulder. I could feel his body trembling under my fingertips. I could hear the way his breathing was coming out uneven and harsh. I wanted him to stop this, it was freaking me out. Was he having some sort of panic attack?

My heart raced as I thought of the possibilities. What if he was having a seizure?

"Roxas-"

"_Go away_!" His voice was thick and strained. It broke in all of the wrong places, and it didn't sound like him at all. He didn't even sound angry, only just as if he'd been –

I felt my own eyes burn, as I stared at him curl up even tighter, shrugging my hand away from his shoulder.

"Roxas." I tried again, tried to reach out to him. "Please, talk to me."

"I told you to go away!" He spat, his voice sounding even more muffled than before.

"Roxas, come on, what's wrong-"

"_Nothing!_ Just go away!"

"Please, let me-"

His head snapped up immediately, and I almost jumped back when my thoughts were confirmed. His face was deathly pale, but his eyes – they were bloodshot red and glaring back at me with so much pain I felt hurt just staring a back at them. His lips were trembling as he tried to keep his frown in place, but failed miserably.

"Let you what?" He growled. "What can _you_ do?"

I hesitated.

"Xion," I paused, seeing the way his face twisted angrily. "She told me today was the day that the accident happened."

Roxas scoffed.

"You don't know me; you don't know anything about what I've gone through! You're just – you're just…"

His words hurt me more than I would have liked to admit. And I knew that my expression betrayed me because he looked away abruptly burying his face in his knees again.

It took me a moment for me to even actually come up with something to say. I was so caught off guard and so upset over it, my mind needed to process over it.

"Y-you're right." I uttered out weakly. "I don't know anything about what happened to you in the past. That part is true, but, you – the Roxas here -" I reached out and pulled his face to look at me. "I _know_ you, here in the present. You – you like riding skateboards. And making fun of me because I can't do anything _nearly_ as cool as you on the stupid skateboard. You don't use crazy gel to make your hair gravity defying. You like checkered patterns in the most random places. You can be such a bully one minute, but incredibly sweet the next minute. You wear thick sweaters to the beach. You smell like winter fresh gum, which is kind of weird but attractive at the same time. You stole my first kiss, and were the first person I've ever – er, you know – made out with."

He was looking at me this time. His eyes were round and wide as he took in everything I was saying. I didn't quite feel as embarrassed as I should have been feeling, which was odd considering the things I was telling him. But I didn't mind, I honestly didn't.

And with the way he was staring at me, I was actually really glad I started this whole speech.

I shook my head, sighing.

"You… you told me you loved me," I said slowly. "Roxas, so don't tell me I don't know you."

His blue eyes squinted slightly, before widening. His eyes were still a little swollen and red, but I'd never find anyone who was as beautiful as this person in front of me. Beautiful; that's it, Roxas was _beautiful_.

"Sorry." He whispered softly, his eyes never leaving mine. He was staring at me as if I was the most incredible thing he'd ever seen. I felt my stomach churn nervously. A part of me wanted to hide from his intense stare, but another part of me wanted to remain where I was.

So, I had absolutely no idea what I was thinking when I started to lean in towards him. Maybe it was the fact that he was letting me see him. See everything. No more hiding.

Or it could have been the way my lips felt like they were being pushed into his like magnets. Either way, it didn't matter.

My mind was all scattered and in a huge disarray to set off a red warning alarm. My fingers ran their way on his chest to the collar of his shirt, pulling him closer to me. He didn't seem to protest when I planted my lips on his, in fact he did quite the opposite. His hands moved from his knees, pressing themselves on my back then my waist and back again. Soon I found myself pressed against him, pinning him to the brick wall he was leaning on.

My heart beat abnormally fast, and my pulse quickened when he parted his lips, moving, exploring mine. I reciprocated almost immediately, moving my hands up to his wild blonde hair. He pulled away to kiss the corner of my mouth, then my cheek, and then he trailed down my jaw line to my neck. My lips were still burning from the contact of his.

It took only a moment before he was back on my mouth. His lips tasted like salt, maybe it was because of those tears that were trailing down his face, and I wasn't sure. And I didn't really care.

I tugged at his hair pulling him closer. How much closer did I want him to be, I didn't know. I just wanted him to be close to me, I didn't want to leave him; I was scared of leaving him. I didn't want to see him like that, not again. It hurt too much.

I wanted to him to feel wanted, to feel loved. I opened my eyes to see Roxas' eyes closed; his face pink and completely lost in lust. I'm just comforting him, I thought. No, this is wrong. I have to stop, I thought furiously.

But I couldn't.

My body was just not cooperating with my mind. I'd tell it to do one thing, and it'd completely blow me off and do whatever it wanted to. Like, barge into Roxas' mouth for example.

I felt a surprised gasp escape from his lips and echo inside my mouth as he realized what I was doing.

But thankfully before I could even attempt to do anything in there, I felt myself pull away from Roxas. His breath came out in ragged pants that beat against my lips.

He looked completely flustered and surprised. I couldn't help but think how adorable and – well – hot that was. He was right here with me, and I was kissing his brains out. And I didn't want this to end, I didn't want it to stop. The thought of just walking away from here and pretending as if nothing happened almost sent me doubling over in pain.

I hated this, how easily I was able to lose myself to him. He had me at the tip of his fingers right now, and I was completely helpless. I didn't care; I wanted to be completely helpless to him. I wanted it. I needed it, I needed him.

Oh god, I needed him.

What am I some complete loser?

The sweet aroma coming from his mouth was drawing me back in. I tried hard to resist from jumping on him again.

"Roxas, I-I," My heart was beating fast and I couldn't just say what was on my mind. It kept getting stuck in my throat. My head was just spinning as if I came off a roller coaster. "I think I might- I mean- I might need some time to think this through. No, I _mean_ I might actually - "

"Kairi," He interrupted, my eyes flashed up at the sound of his voice. He was nervously staring back at me, looking incredibly red. "Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt but…"

I couldn't help but stare at his mouth the whole time. Before he could say anything else I found myself leaning into him and began pressing my lips against his again. I heard him mumble my name against my mouth but I ignored him.

"Kairi!" He said firmly, pushing me away and backing up, making sure to put some distance between us. I looked up at him, his face was still red. "I… What the hell?"

"Huh?" I mumbled.

"What are you doing?" He asked me slowly.

I couldn't respond. What _was_ I doing?

"I know you might want to comfort me, but this isn't the way to do it." He started, looking completely angry. His blue eyes narrowed and I couldn't find any trace of the initial tears I saw earlier.

"I-I "

"You're making it worse by doing this." Roxas said. "It's like you're rubbing it in my face. What the hell is your problem Kairi?"

"I didn't mean to, honestly-"

"No, whatever this is –" he said gesturing towards me and him. "It's over. I can't stand your games, I-I don't think I can take it anymore. You kiss me and then you run back to _Sora_."

"Roxas, please, just listen to-"

"You listen to me, I _love_ you, but that doesn't give you the right to just mess around with my feelings, no matter how much I let you." He spat furiously.

"Roxas." I started, but my voice cut off when he shook his head angrily and turned away. "What do you want me to do?"

His blue eyes softened for a moment, as they darted between my own.

"I want you to just… want me." He murmured pathetically.

"I _do_ want you!" I blurted out.

He shook his head, sighing.

"Stop it, I want you Roxas." I cried out, reaching out and putting my hands on his shoulders. He shrugged them off again.

"No." He said quietly.

"I want you, what more do you want me to say to you?" I pleaded, reaching out to him again. This time he didn't push me away, but sat there limply.

"_Do you love me?"_

The question shouldn't have caught me off guard. It shouldn't have made me nervous or my heart speed up irrationally. It shouldn't have made me want to pull him back in for another kiss, shouldn't have made me want to say yes.

"Kairi, do you love me?"

"Don't ask me that." I whispered.

"Just answer the question!" he snapped heatedly. I could feel his temper rising again. "Do you love me or not -"

"I _need_ you, isn't that good enough?"

Roxas backed up against the wall, scooting away from me. His expression shifted quickly from pain to anger. I knew he was angry. I couldn't blame him. But I couldn't believe we were going back into this territory again.

_Why wouldn't we? You're the idiot that jumped him._

He clenched his teeth, and bowed his head, shaking it slowly.

"No," he said in a low voice. "It's not."

"Roxas, please – "

"Just leave me alone, please Kairi." His voice was strained, reminding me of how I found him earlier, but he was actually mad. I didn't even have enough time to explain myself; he rose up from his seat, dusting his pants.

"Where are you going?" I demanded rising from my seat to clamp my hand around his wrist.

"Away from you."

"Roxas, please, I'm just… confused. If you give me a little time, maybe –"

"Funny, I thought practically two years would be enough time." He pulled his wrist away from my grip, stuffing it in his pocket. He glanced over his shoulder to shoot me a pained expression. "Maybe I'm the one who needs time."

And with that, he walked away, leaving me alone staring after him.

I didn't know what to think, besides, maybe this was how he felt when I left him alone after rejecting him.

Like sorry excuse of a love-sick person.

_I love you._

I hated the way it sounded in my head – how _right_ it sounded.

x.X.x

**Dun dun duh! What will Kairi do next? :O**

**Until next time!**

**Review review review!  
**


	37. Chapter 36

**Hey Readers! Okay, well, uh, wow, that was a pretty quick update, yeah?*Fist Pump*  
**

**I amazed myself, considering how long this chapter turned out to be. Jeez I haven't written anything this long (chapter I mean) in such a long time. It's kind of unnerving. I don't want to be mean by saying not to expect this often, but it really took a lot out of me. This chapter; it's well - a lot of things are going on in this chapter. And I mean a lot! Before I go ranting about how much stuff there will be in this reading, I have to give a special thanks to one of my friends. She gave me the idea of the whole baseball theme. So I have to say without her little suggestion this chapter might've been updated in another month, lol.**

**Another thanks to all my reviewers! Seriously, I know I don't say it a lot, but I really do love you guys. It's because of you that this story has made it this far. Thank you!  
**

**Okay, so in this chapter, you'll learn a bunch of things. Some of it might shock you! You have been warned. Also there's a new character in here. Bear with me, I know she may seem like a bitch, and might be OOC, but wtf this is my story. Not much Roxiri - no let me rephrase that - not much Roxas. But there is Roxiri. Kairi admits to something. There that's all I'm saying lmao.**

**Also, I'm kind of a little germaphobe... lol**

**Anyway, I'm kind of rambling, I should just let you read already. So enjoy!**

**And I don't own KH and stuff. The plot is entirely mine though!**

**x.X.x  
**

**Chapter 36:**

The day of the baseball game; it was a day I was thoroughly dreading. It wasn't even good weather to be playing outside. The clouds were still angrily swarming, threatening the town to a world without sun. I could sense it, a storm was brewing.

My heart; there was a storm brewing there too. It was aching and I didn't know why. _Why was I in so much pain? _

I knew the answer to my question, no matter how dumb I played. I missed him. I knew I did. I hadn't seen him in days and I couldn't help but think how pathetic it was of me.

Everything I did reminded me of him in some small way. It was depressing, and very annoying. I stared at a pack of gum I had resting on my beside table for the longest. It was a weird habit, but sometimes it made me feel a little better.

Even my own parents noticed my upset behavior – when they weren't giving each other the cold shoulder that is. Something was wrong with the two of them, I just didn't know what. I didn't really care at the moment. How can I worry about my parents relationship problems when my heart was in utter turmoil?

I laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling, watching the glow in the dark stars glare at me. I stared at them, hoping they'd glow back.

And then I was suddenly in Roxas's room, on his floor, laying beside him and staring at the stars. He was making fun of me, I don't know why, I probably did something stupid. My face was flushing as he suddenly turned to look at me with a warm expression. His eyes were liquid soft and clear, reminding me of marbles. His hand reached up to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear. His face was close to mine at that point; I could feel his hot breath on my lips.

_I love you._

The feel of my phone vibrating in my pocket broke me from my weird fantasy. I sighed, realizing I was still in my own room, staring at my old, dull, glow in the dark stars. With a huff, I curled up on my side, and hugged my stomach, burying my face in my pillow. I didn't even have enough energy to pull my phone out of my pocket.

Another surge of vibrating let me know another text message was sent.

I let out another sigh, digging in my pocket to find my phone. It vibrated again in my fingers, as I opened it.

Two text messages from Olette, and one from Sora. None from -

I sighed again and threw the phone behind me.

I didn't even want to go to the stupid game. I was more than positive that he wouldn't show up. Why would he anyway? After what I did to him the other night. My heart did a painful flop as I remembered that whole make-out then fight event that happened between us. I mean who does that?

Usually most people would think a fight would happen first and then a make-out, leading to – you know- other things.

My phone vibrated again and again and again. I knew someone was _calling_ me this time. I rolled onto my back again, throwing an arm over my face, groaning. I blindly searched for my phone, before the vibrating stopped.

Four vibrating rings passed, before I had it up to my face.

"Hello?" I mumbled. I felt like smacking my head for not looking at the caller ID first.

"Hey Kairi! Why don't you answer any of my text messages? I mean come on it's already 3 o' clock, you can't still be asleep! Everyone is here, except for you! I can't believe you're trying to skip out on this – "

It was around this time I pulled my phone away from my ear, cringing. I really hate it when people yell on the phone, when they can't hear you. I mean just because you can't hear me, doesn't mean I can't hear you.

At least a minute later I brought the phone back to my ear.

"Seriously Kairi, you're acting like a little kid! Just come over already. You're the one that's supposed to bring the condiments! How are we supposed to eat a hot dog without _ketchup_ and _mustard_? Who does that – "

"Olette, Olette, _OLETTE_!" I cried out loudly.

"Oh my god Kairi, you don't have to yell, do you _want_ me to be deaf or what?" Olette snapped. I could just picture her green eyes narrow at me in a glare. Jeez, this girl had issues.

"No, you were the one that – ugh never mind." I groaned out, rubbing my forehead. "I'll be there in a few."

"You better be here! I want to eat!" Olette threatened.

"Yeah okay Olette-"

"I'm giving you ten minutes! You better hurry because I'm timing you."

x.X.x

I was already changed in jeans and a t-shirt, and well his sweater. I didn't know exactly what to wear for baseball. I _don't_ play sports. And plus it looked like it was going to rain. So I thought, pack heavy.

I took the stairs two at a time and was about to burst through the kitchen to grab the ketchup and mustard, when I heard loud voices coming from inside there.

"_Another_ business trip, honestly?" I recognized my mother's voice.

"Yes." And my father's.

"Where are you going exactly?"

"Oh don't even go there, you know I don't know! They always tell me the day of, where I'm off to."

"That makes absolutely no sense!"

"I don't have time for this."

"Fine! Go! Just go! I don't care!"

If it was possible I shrunk into the wall. The only time I'd ever heard my mom this angry was when I accidently dropped her earrings down the garbage disposal. I honestly didn't hear the end of it. My father's footsteps sounded down the hallway as he walked out of the kitchen. I froze when he came to the foot of the stairs, and balked at the sight of me.

His mouth fell slack, and his face turned white. We both stared at each other wide eyed until he looked away, coughing. He patted the top of his red hair awkwardly.

"I'm sorry, kiddo." He muttered quickly, ascending the stairs and leaving me alone. Hesitantly, I crept my way into the kitchen, to find my mom gripping the edge of the counter tightly. Her eyes were closed and her face was red.

"Mom?" I probed, moving closer. Her head snapped up and stared at me confusedly as if she were in a trance. Her eyes refocused suddenly, as she was brought back to reality.

"Kairi, aren't you going to the park with your friends?" She asked fiercely, and it almost made me flinch. I chewed my lip and looked away. I felt like some kind of intruder.

"I – um –need a ride –" My voice was drowned out by a loud door slam. I glanced up at my mom, who pulled her eyebrows together and rolled her eyes.

"Yeah sure, I'll get the keys."

x.X.x

The mustard and ketchup bottles sat in my lap unmoving. I couldn't tear my eyes away from them. I couldn't look at my mom. I could feel the anger still inside her, with the way she gripped the steering wheel tightly, or raised the music up loud to a channel she didn't even like.

I kept quiet and held the bottles. My mood immediately dampened. How could I possibly go to this stupid baseball game now?

I wanted to tell her to drive me back, tell her that we'll sit together and watch movies all day. Get fat off of ice cream. But as soon as the thought reached my head, we were already in the Park's parking lot.

She stopped the car, and I could feel her eyes on me, expectantly. I gazed intently at the bottles in front of me. I opened my mouth, then closed it abruptly. I felt annoyed at my inability to speak. It was just my mom.

"Mom I – "

"Are those your friends over there? They're waving at you." She said stonily. "I think you'd better go, hmm?"

I nodded my head automatically, gripping the bottles and opening the door. I had one foot out the door, when I suddenly turned around.

"Mom," I started cautiously, nervously even. "You and dad; you're going to be alright, right?"

She stared at me confused for a moment, before her lips pulled into a knowing smile.

"Of course, Kairi. That's what people do, they get into fights. It's nothing serious, so don't worry over it okay?" She said to me, but I didn't quite believe her.

I still smiled and nodded my head in agreement, before getting out of the car, and waving goodbye.

I didn't so much as walk two steps before Olette tackled me and snatched the bottles away from me.

"Kairi! That was like, more than ten minutes! You're not getting any!" She snapped, running back to the table, where all the food was covered with tin foil. I shrugged my shoulders apologetically, before scouting out the field.

Already I could spot practically all the boys throwing the big green softball to each other. Okay, apparently we were playing softball instead of baseball.

My eyes glanced back towards the food table to find Xion, Namine, Sora, and to my surprise Roxas, sitting around. My eyes locked with him first. He shot me a glare before turning away. That was such a downer; I could even feel my shoulders sag at that gesture.

Next I turned to Namine, who was giggling at the way Sora was eating. Like a pig. I rolled my eyes before turning to Xion, who coincidentally was looking directly at me with a grave expression.

"Hey Kairi!" Sora mumbled out, food falling out of his mouth. I wrinkled my noise, waving back to him.

I tried to subtly take a seat next Roxas. He turned his body so he wasn't fully facing me.

"Hi." I said shyly. His blue eyes glanced in my direction briefly before looking away.

"Hi." He said flatly.

"H-how've you been?" I asked nervously, fiddling with my fingers.

"Fine."

I sighed, and looked down at my bitten nails. I was tempted to bite them now, but that was kind of sort of unattractive.

"Look, Roxas, I'm –"

"Not now." He snapped, rising from his seat and walking off towards the field. I felt really miffed, and incredibly depressed as I watched him walk away. I knew I really hurt him the last time, but I was honestly not expecting this kind of reaction. Or the way I was feeling because of it.

Sora and Namine rose from their seats to go practice as well. Sora, teasing Namine about her size and her inability to hit the ball far, and Namine complaining that Sora couldn't catch a ball if his life depended on it.

I frowned watching the both of them. It should have bugged me, their closeness.

"What's going on Kairi?" Xion's voice broke me from my thoughts.

"Hm?"

"Why do you look so upset?" She probed, leaning forward across the table. Her blue eyes danced around brightly. But I wasn't fooled. I knew she was hiding away all of her own pain.

I hesitated, before shaking my head.

"It's nothing."

"Not from what I saw at the cinema." Xion answered cheekily, causing me to flush a deep red. I shook my head roughly.

"What – what do you mean? What did you see? Xion!" I stammered.

Her grin widened for a moment, an ear to ear grin, but then it fell. Fell into a frown that confused me. Her blue eyes dimmed as she stared at me seriously.

"What are you doing Kairi?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what are you doing with Roxas?" She clarified. I felt the flush on my face turn pale. Great, even Xion could see how terrible I was.

"I-I don't know what-"

"You're dangling him by a thread, dude." She said softly. I turned away from her heavy gaze.

"I know."

"I wouldn't say this to anyone else but I trust you- he really cares about you, believe me I can tell- he told me that he was stuck in the car with his parents for an hour, before the ambulance came. He told me he talked to his mom for a good whole ten minutes before she died. Can you imagine being stuck in the car with your dead parents? It must have been a completely traumatizing experience."

I didn't realize that my eyes were starting to get watery. I quickly sniffed them away

"Kairi, I know he loves you." Xion continued, her eyes turning into a slight glare. "And I know you care about his well being too. But, you're hurting him."

I chewed my lip and turned away. "I know that."

"Don't you think it's time to actually do something?" she said softly. "I used to wholeheartedly support you two, together, but it seems like you aren't even putting yourself out there. You're my friend Kairi, but so is Roxas, and honestly I think that this has gone on far too long. He can't sit and wait for you forever."

"I know that, Xion!" I said heatedly. "I know, I just don't know what to do. I'm so confused."

"Then just –"

"No, I don't want to let him go." I admitted earnestly. "I mean, I know he's special to me. I just don't know why or how important he is to me. It's – it's not just a crush, I'm positive of that."

Xion eyed me skeptically, her blue eyes darting between mine. Her lips were in a tight frown, and I was so convinced that she'd tell me to just give up on him. I really was.

Suddenly her lips pulled into that wide smile, and her eyes brightened.

"I knew it!" She exclaimed. "I totally knew it!"

"You mean you just did that on purpose so you'd make me talk?" I demanded incredulously.

She smiled apologetically.

"You have no idea how much of a relief it is to hear you say that. I don't think I'd be able to stand the thought of Aqua and Roxas together. I mean now that you've recognized your feelings, you can dump Sora, and be with Roxas!"

"Huh? I didn't admit to anything! And I can't just dump Sora –"

"Oh believe me, yes you can. Now that you're back in the picture, she doesn't stand a chance. But you better watch out, she is quite taken with Roxas."

"Wait who is _she_?"

"Aqua.." Xion deadpanned.

"-And who the hell is Aqua?"

"Xion, is my hot dog done?" A loud voice rang through my ears. I glanced at Xion who had a dead face as she stared over my shoulder. I turned to come face to face with an absolutely stunning girl.

"My cousin." Xion muttered.

Aqua, Xion's cousin, was very well equipped. I stared in amazement as her chest practically bulged out of her super tight, v-neck t-shirt. Her long pale legs seemed never ending with the short _short_ shorts she was wearing. They almost could have passed for underwear, I noted.

Her blue eyes, locked on me for a moment, scanning me up and down. And I felt completely inferior towards her. Well who wouldn't, being around this tall model like girl?

She flipped her short – obviously dyed – blue hair out of her face to give Xion a sweet grin.

"Aqua, this is my friend Kairi, Kairi this is Aqua." Xion introduced us languidly.

"Hello, _Kairi_." She said in this sugarcoated voice. I wasn't sure if I liked it or not. It reminded me of candy. It's good when you first eat it, bad when you get all those cavities in your mouth.

"Hi." I answered politely, waiting for her to continue with her introduction, except she didn't. She snapped her head back to Xion.

"So, where's my hot dog?"

"Go make it yourself!" Xion snapped.

"That's quite rude, Xion." She sneered, putting her hands on her hips. I could see her manicured fingernails from my spot; they put mine to shame.

"You would know!" Xion stammered. I could tell she was getting angry; her face was reddening.

I watched the two cousins, Xion looking completely ruffled, and Aqua with a neutral face. Her blue eyes narrowed at the black haired girl, and her lips pulled into a small smirk. I didn't know what kind of affect it would have on Xion, but in less than two seconds of the stare, she sighed.

"Fine, what do you want on it?" Xion grumbled.

Aqua, shrugged a shoulder. "I don't know, figure it out."

With that, she turned towards the field. I couldn't help but notice how exaggerated her strutting was.

"God I _hate_ her." Xion's voice said behind me. I turned back towards her, and watched as she grabbed a bun from the bag.

"I can tell." I said. Xion plucked a weenie out from underneath the foiled plate, and stuffed it inside the bun, breaking the bottom of the bread. She huffed, but made no move to switch for a new bun.

I chewed my lip watching her stomp around the lunch area, like a madwoman.

"She seems, like… " I trailed off trying to come up with a word.

"A bitch." She finished heatedly, drowning the hot dog with mustards. At this her lips pulled into a half smile. "She hates mustard." It was muttered underneath her breath, but I still heard.

"Well don't you agree?" She demanded, looking up from the catastrophe of a hot dog she created, up to my face.

I winced apologetically, before nodding my head. "Yeah. She does."

"She thinks she's so great!" She continued, slapping the hot dog on a paper plate. "But she's not, I mean, will you look at that hair?"

"Maybe she's just – "

"No, Kairi, you don't _know_ her." She muttered seriously. "Wait until she gets to you. You're not going to be able to stand her."

I gaped at her.

"Seriously, Xion, I think you're taking this a little too – "

"Look, look, you're time's approaching, Kairi." Xion said quickly, grabbing my shoulders and turning me around to face the field. My eyes scanned for the blue hair, and I spotted her next to a flash of blonde.

She was only a few inches shorter, but it still didn't make up for the fact that she was still _too_ close to Roxas. Her hand was touching his forearm, as she leaned in and whispered in his ear. Roxas seemed unaffected by it – or at least I hoped he was.

She moved closer, and I felt my blood boil in anger. I mean like what the hell, seriously? Roxas was –

I stopped, averted my eyes, and shook my head.

"Go get your man." Xion said excitedly, giving me a shove.

"No! Don't be stupid, he's not – he's not mine."

Xion flashed me a disappointed look, before joining the others on the field.

x.X.x

It would have been great to say I was superb at baseball, kicked Aqua out of the water with my skills, and thoroughly impressed Roxas, along with all my other friends; however, that was definitely not the case. I was terrible, no, terrible was an understatement. I was absolutely dreadful.

Even Namine was better than I was, and that was saying something. I couldn't hit the ball for nothing, I couldn't catch any of the balls, and running – oh boy that was a whole different story.

All in all I was not having the time of my life. Especially since Xion's cousin and Roxas were put into the same team. I mean come on, how unfair was that?

"Kairi, you're up!" Sora's voice hollered from the entrance of the dugout. I let out a loud groan.

"Can't someone else bat for me?" I begged. Sora frowned, shaking his messy brown head. He handed me the metal bat, and it oddly felt similar to the skateboard; both were evil.

I could feel Roxas's eyes on me, from third base, as I stepped up to the plate and watched Hayner – the pitcher – do some weird wind ups and throw the ball. I didn't even realize I was supposed to swing yet.

"STRIKE!" Pence called out through his mask.

"Aw, crap." I mumbled under my breath. My eyes flitted past Hayner to the blue haired girl occupying second base. She was smirking at me and chewing her gum like a cow. Ugh. Gross.

"Hey batter, batter, batter," She called out, and it was really pissing me off.

Hayner winded up.

"SWING!"

And like the idiot I was, I actually swung.

"Come on Kairi! Don't fall for that! What kind of girl are you?" I heard Olette's voice from the dugout, as she furiously clawed at it. Jeez… this girl really had issues.

I knew the whole tension and pressure of the game rested on me at this moment, and I absolutely hated it. Aqua kept up with her taunts and she kept flashing Roxas those sickening looks. I was really mad at this point. I mean, no one looks at Roxas like that, besides me.

Hayner winded up and I kept picturing that stupid girl's face as the green ball. If only I could really whack her with the bat.

"RUN RUN! KAIRI RUN!"

I blinked, looking around, and spotted the green ball, rolling through Aqua's legs, passed Tidus at center, and rolling all along the green field.

"I-I hit it!" I cried out, jumping.

"Yes you did! Run!" Sora bellowed, along with Olette, who looked as if she were having a seizure.

I was kind of milking it; running I mean. I wasn't very fast, and I was kind of gloating. Especially when I kicked dirt at Aqua and stomped on second.

I was starting to get worried when I was nearing third. Tidus passed the ball to Aqua, who was only seconds away from throwing to Roxas. I could see his blue eyes, calculating my running, as if anticipating my out. I know it was only for the game – his intense stare – but I couldn't help but feel my face heat up.

"Run Kairi! Go!"

I sucked in a deep breath and booked it, not even stopping when Roxas caught the ball, and held it out to tag me. It shouldn't have surprised me that I fell. I was kind of expecting it, what I wasn't expecting was falling on Roxas.

A loud groan, made me open my eyes in shock. I felt a body squirm underneath me; Roxas.

"Ow." He mumbled under his breath. I lifted my head to meet his.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

His blue eyes searched mine. For a moment I saw the hard surface melt away, into that liquid blue I'd come to cherish. My heart raced as his eyes lowered to my nose, and then to my mouth. I knew what was coming. I could feel it in my bones; this familiar anticipation. I closed my eyes and waited for it.

Except it didn't come.

Instead I fell back on my butt, as he stood up, brushing off his jeans. HE looked away from me as he bent down and pressed his glove on my knee.

"Out." He said quietly.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Aqua glaring in our direction. And for the first time that day, I felt superior.

x.X.x

"That's game!"

"What? It's only been five innings!"

"It's cold!"

"I still think we won!"

"It was a tie!"

"Uh, hell no! It so wasn't!"

"It's cold and I'm tired!"

x.X.x

So it was decided – by a landslide – that we'd call it a day. It _was_ getting cold, and it did look like it was about to rain any minute.

Roxas didn't speak to me, it's not like I was expecting him to either. But was it so wrong to hope. Much to my disdain, Aqua was hanging on to him like some desperate idiot. Earlier in the day I learned that she was already a senior. That's like child molestation or something, considering Roxas was like three years younger.

My things were already packed; my things consisting of ketchup and mustard. So I just needed one thing left to do; restroom. It wasn't like I needed to use it. Not like I would, have you seen public restrooms? I just wanted to wash my hands. After a day of touching the same ball being tossed around, the same bat, and the nasty dirt, I was dying to sanitize these babies.

As I assumed the bathrooms were filthy. Thank god, I didn't need to use it. I quickly washed my hands, dried them off, and attempted to open the door with my foot. Imagine how many people go to the bathroom, don't wash their hands, and then touch the door handle?

I was about to make my way back to our little lunch site when a pair of familiar voices stopped. Jeez am I really getting that bad with eavesdropping?

I peeped around the corner of the bathroom to find Namine and Sora sitting down against a thick trunked tree. It seriously looked like some kind of scene out of a shojo manga.

"Namine." I heard Sora say softly.

I frowned as I moved a little closer. Namine had her head bowed, and her hands were clenched tightly in her lap.

"I don't want this." She said seriously, her hands clenching even tighter, I could see her knuckles turning white.

"And you think I do?" Sora asked incredulously.

"No."

"But I can't help it." He continued, reaching out and plucking a hand from her lap. She breathed in sharply, and tilted her head away from him.

"I can't either."

They both sat in silence for a few seconds and I was contemplating whether to walk out and reveal myself or not. But Sora's voice erased any of those thoughts.

"How long?"

Namine shook her head, and brought one of her hands to her face. I heard her sniff loudly.

"I can't say."

"How long?" Sora pressed; his voice harsher than before.

She gulped audibly and turned to look at him. Her cheeks were flushed; from where I was standing I could tell she was beginning to cry.

"Since –"

"Since when, Namine!"

"Since I first saw you!" She blurted out. "At the beginning I was so nervous to talk to you. You were just so cool, and popular, I was stuck watching you from far away. And then you started talking to me, and it freaked me out, but I was happy, you know? I pretty much let you do all the talking. I was so scared that maybe you might not even like me, if I ever opened my mouth."

Sora opened _his_ mouth, looking as if he were about to protest, but Namine held up a hand.

"Then when we got to high school, I was pretty sure that you _did_ like me. I mean you were not so subtle about flirting. I was just so happy; I wanted to tell you, I really did. But – "She stopped, letting out a quivering sigh. "But – but then I knew Kairi liked you as well. And I just – I couldn't just do that to her. She's my best – I mean was – my best friend."

Namine chewed her lip, and paused for a moment. Her blue eyes glazed over for a second before refocusing. Sora waited, even though he looked like he was ready to burst at any moment.

"And then Riku came. I honestly did like him. And I seriously thought I was in love with him." Her face whitened at the mention of the silver haired guy. She looked down and shook her head again. "But almost every time I was with him, I couldn't help but think of you."

Namine lifted her head to face him. Her blue eyes darting between his frozen expression. He blinked rapidly.

"Goddam it Namine," He said in a low voice, burying his hands in his face. "This- this whole time?"

"I'm sorry." She muttered quietly.

"Don't say that. You have nothing to apologize for."

"I didn't mean for this to happen." She said, a forlorn expression on her face. "It's just – all I ever wanted was you."

Sora didn't respond. He was still staring at her with a shocked expression. I was too. I was shocked out of my wits.

"You don't know how long I've waited to hear you say that." He admitted his face flushing.

I couldn't hear anymore; I walked away as I saw them leaning in towards each other.

x.X.x

The group had already packed up the whole lunch area back into their containers and baggies; some people – mostly Pence – were sneaking home leftovers. Xion was the only one sitting down at the bench. When she saw me she stood up and walked towards me.

I was pretty sure she saw the expression on my face, because her face turned serious.

"What's wrong Kairi?"

I bit my now trembling lip, shaking my head roughly.

"Kairi… " She stopped when she caught sight of Sora and Namine walking together. They had a fair amount of distance between the two of them now, considering how close they were before. Namine's face gave her away; it was as red as a tomato.

"Are we leaving already?" Sora called out, looking completely elated. I shot him a glare.

No one answered his question, seeing as they were busy packing their equipment. Xion looked at me, shrugged her shoulders and stood next to Namine. As they both walked off, leaving me with Sora I felt like strangling them.

"Come on I'll walk you home." Sora started, putting an arm around me.

"Don't touch me!"

Sora stared at me confusedly. "Okay…"

"And I don't want you walking me home."

Sora frowned at this. "Kairi, what's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with you?"

"What are you – "

"I hope you didn't feel obligated to go out with me just because I told you I liked you." I snapped, feeling my blood boil with anger. Sora looked at me. The shock on his face was absolutely priceless. I could see the guilt flit through his eyes as he looked away, coughing uncomfortably.

"What do you – um, what do you mean?"

"I saw you and Namine, Sora."

His gaze met mine briefly and I caught the misery and sorrow in his wide blue eyes. He turned away from me, which only made me more frustrated.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. My eyesight was becoming incredibly blurry because of the stupid tears that were begging to come out. My throat clogged up, and it hurt terribly.

"Was this-"I choked, "Was this some kind of scheme to get to my best friend? I was just your stupid little rebound girl wasn't I?"Sora's head snapped up, glaring at me intensely. It almost made me stumble backwards.

"No! Of course not!" he bellowed, but calmed down. "I like you too, Kairi, I really do. I never would have thought I'd like you this much. But-"I knew what was coming next, and I hated that.

"-But you don't like me the way you like Namine," I finished weakly, feeling my knees wobble. My lips trembled unintentionally, and I cursed myself for that. Sora knitted his eyebrows together sadly.

"I'm sorry," he apologized for the second time. He hung his head low.

"Don't bother." I said harshly, taking one last look at him and breaking out into a run.

"Kairi! Come on!" He called after me, but I didn't stop.

Once I was convinced I was at a safe distance between us, I came to a very slow walk. I didn't want to go home. I didn't want to stay with those people either. If I was being honest, I wanted to go see –

x.X.x

I walked home feeling as stupid as ever. Why did I ever think Sora would ever like me? My whole body felt numb, and nothing mattered anymore. Eventually, I knew, I'd regain my "life" back, but now, I felt empty, like there's no purpose. It wasn't the fact that my boyfriend just confessed that he was practically in love with my best friend. It was more that Namine didn't tell me anything. I felt like the biggest idiot in the world. How could I possibly not think that she too was in pain over this stupid Kairi Sora Namine love triangle?

My eyes hurt from so much crying on the way home, I think I was all cried out when I got there. I didn't even look or talk to my mom when I got inside. She would have noticed my puffy red eyes, and demand to know what was wrong. Instead, I bolted to my bedroom, locked the door, and sank into my bed.

I thought of Sora. His smile, his arms, his lips, they all seemed like distant memory or dream now. It felt like some fantasy that never happened. And for some reason I didn't care about losing it.

That thought only made the crying pick up again. I quickly stuffed my face in my pillow because I heard my mom at the door.

"Kairi!" My mom called through the door. "Food's ready!"

"I-I'm not hungry" I yelled back, feeling my voice give out. Great way to hide your depression Kairi, I thought angrily.

"Are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah, I'm just;" I tried to think of something fast." I'm just tired." The other side was quiet. She wasn't buying that pathetic excuse for a reason. But I think she understood because she didn't bother after that.

I placed the pillow over my head again, and laid there, helplessly, wishing – of all people – Roxas was here with me. But the more I thought about it, the more I began to realize things.

"_Kairi, I've never ever been jealous of Sora, or of anything he's had… Until you came into the picture." _

I pushed the pillow off my face, and sighed loudly.

"What am I going to do?" I said, saying my thoughts out loud. I rolled back on my side, clutching my stomach, when I heard a loud tapping sound on my bedroom window.

The tapping grew louder, to the point where I got off my bed and looked out to find Sora standing out in my backyard. I opened my window.

"What are you doing here?" I hissed.

"I- I want to talk to you Kairi." He whispered back. "Please."

"I don't want to talk to you." I snapped.

"Please. We need to talk this out."

x.X.x

"Go on; talk then." I said sharply. We were both sitting out in the front porch. I made sure my mom wasn't being nosy; I snuck out.

Sora sighed quietly and I held my breath. I wasn't so mad anymore, maybe a bit sad. I wanted to say I was sad that this was coming to an end, but I wasn't so sure that was the reason.

He peered over at me, from beneath his chocolate brown bangs. I could see his eyes bright and pained as he gazed at me. How long ago it seemed I used to be so mesmerized by these azure eyes. Or the way his wide smile would lighten up his whole tanned face. It didn't surprise me when I felt absolutely nothing stir inside me; no butterflies fluttering in my stomach, no face flushing. Nothing.

What _did_ surprise me was the way my heart ached as the brown hair slowly faded into a dark honey blonde shade. The dark blue eyes lightening into an almost pale ice color. The tanned face brightening out into a pasty color.

"What was I doing?"

I blinked, the image immediately washing away. And I was sure that it was Sora sitting next to me. My neutral expression fell into a frown.

"What were _we_ doing?" I clarified, bringing my knees up to my chin. I glanced back to Sora who was still staring at me intensely. His dark eyebrows knitted together in what I assumed was confusion. I almost expected him to question my explanation, but he didn't.

"Yeah," He breathed out, slightly. I could see his breath in the cold chilly air. "You're right; what _were_ we doing?"

"What are we doing now? Are we together or not together – "I started, testing out the waters. "Do you even want me to be your girlfriend?"

"Kairi," Sora fully turned to look at me, he grabbed my left hand. It felt like my hand was stuck in a block of ice, with how cold his hands were. "You know I-I love you, don't you?"

I could feel the hesitation he was giving off. It was the first time he ever used the L- word, and yet, I wasn't nervous, or giddy or even freaked out.

"I know." I muttered. "Me too."

"I just… " He stopped, and turned away. I could see the bitter expression on his features; it didn't suit him.

"It isn't the same is it?" I mused aloud, and watched him snap his head back in my direction. His blue eyes widened for a moment, before softening. His mouth pressed into a tight, firm line. I felt my lips tilt into a half smile. "It's not _me_ is it? You're not in love with me."

Sora's lips pulled downward into a miserable frown.

"And there's nothing I can do to change that." I finished wearily, feeling my smile fall.

Sora didn't respond at first. But after a few seconds, his eyes flickered away and back to my face, before he shook his head slowly. His blue eyes blinked rapidly, and it suddenly occurred to me that maybe he was about to cry.

I flipped our hands around and squeezed tightly.

"Hey, hey, come on it's not bad." I whispered quickly, moving a bit closer. I could see him clenching his jaw as he turned away. I was pretty sure he was trying to hide his face from me. "It's not the end of the world."

"I am _so_ sorry, Kairi." He said in a choked whisper.

"Seriously, Sora it's okay, I promise you." I said softly, interlocking our fingers.

I saw the back of his head shake abruptly.

"No, it's not okay, Kairi!" He growled earnestly. "All I ever do is hurt you. It's – it's not fair."

I let out a light sigh, closing the gap between us and pulling him into a hug.

"Sora, I haven't exactly been a saint to you either."

_Or to Roxas._

"But, still, I've put you through worse. I kissed your best friend while we were still together – "I cringed at that thought. "And then you still took me back, even when you knew I was in love with someone else."

I fell silent.

"You did the same thing." I countered after a few seconds, pulling away from him.

"Huh?"

"You took me back, even when I did the same thing to you – "

Sora's eyebrows pulled together in confusion as his blue eyes darted between my own. His mouth opened then closed and repeated.

"What do you mean, no you didn't- _Roxas_!" He blurted out with wide eyes. My face immediately flushed at the mention of the blonde's name.

Sora watched my face flush, and then let out a soft chuckle, reaching up and ruffling my hair. "Would you look at us? We're a bunch of screw ups aren't we?"

"Yeah." I agreed bitterly. "I'm sorry about that."

"I can't blame you, I'm sorry too." He said gently, throwing an arm over my shoulder. He looked down at me seriously. "You love him."

"I-I don't know."

Sora bowed his head, shaking it briefly, before looking back at me.

"You do." He smiled the first genuine smile I'd seen in a long time. My face reddened, as I turned away.

I took in a deep breath and sighed out, watching the breath cloud form. Slowly, I nodded my head against his shoulder.

"I do." I agreed.

Sora pulled me closer to him, and I heard him sniff loudly. Remembering suddenly, I glanced up to check out his eyes; sure enough the rims were red. But I couldn't spot any moistness. It shouldn't have felt this way; a break up. It shouldn't have felt so damn happy. I was happy. My heart was fluttering and I was _excited_.

My stomach was doing somersaults, and I just felt like jumping around and laughing. I didn't care if it looked like it would rain any second – rain would have made my mood even better. That, and – and him. I wanted to see him so badly, it almost hurt.

"Is it weird that I suddenly feel like this huge sense of relief?" Sora broke my fiesta thoughts.

"No." I responded, pulling away from him. "I feel the same way."

"Hmm, looks like our slogan really did work, eh?" He chuckled, and winked at me. He untangled his hand from mine, reaching upward, and pinching my cheeks.

"What slogan?" I snapped, slapping his hand away.

Sora feigned hurt, clutching at his heart. "You mean you forgot already?" He said exasperatedly. "Kairi, we're two lost souls brought together – "

"- to make the other whole again, yeah I think I'd remember something that corny and cliché." I mumbled in response.

He smirked at first and then beamed, and then fell into uncontrollable fits of laughter. Pretty soon I joined in with his giggling. The two of us; ex boyfriend and girlfriend, laughing as if we were the best of friends.

I was convinced things were going to look good from here on out – oh how I was so wrong.

x.X.x

**Dun dun duh! Cliffhanger-ish? I hope you lot liked it! I'll try and update soon. Oh and by the way, Aqua is one of my fav characters...so I'm not purposely bashing her.**

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	38. Chapter 37

**Hello readers! So, I updated finally. Heh, took me practically a month yeah? Sorry I was really busy with school, and majorly uninspired. But I was doing everything I could to get re-inspired and I think my strategies are working. As much as I'm torn between hating to say this and loving it, this story is coming to an end.**

**About this chapter, well, it was originally going to be longer than this, but I decided to cut it. I think it would make more sense. And would feel more balanced. Anyway, I think those of you Roxiri fans are going to like this chapter. Special thanks to my reviewers! Seriously I really appreciate all of your reviews. 457! I still can't believe this story has reached that many. I remember when it only had reviews still in the one digit numbers. Lmao. Anyway, thank you. And I'm sorry I don't reply to all of your reviews personally, it's really hard to keep up with them. And if I miss one of you in replying, don't take it personally. :(**

**Thank you so much, guys!**

**And enjoy the chapter!  
**

x.X.x

**Chapter 37 **

_Leave me __**paralyzed**__, love. Leave me __**hypnotized**__, love._

-"Consequence" Notwist

x.X.x

I watched as Sora smiled softly in my direction. He gave me a small wave as he reached the sidewalk. I blinked before waving back.

And then he turned around and continued his trek home.

It was over. It really was _over_.

That thought was still ringing through my head as I walked into my house, past my mother who was raising a questionable brow in my direction (no doubt she was spying on me), and even as I went into my room.

Without Sora's presence, I felt – if it were possible – a larger sense of relief. I don't know how long we were both pretending to want each other. I couldn't tell you exactly _when_ I started wishing Sora wasn't - well - Sora. Or when the frustration started emerging every time his lips pressed against mine, and they weren't the lips I wanted to taste; it wasn't the soft and tender kiss, I wanted.

If someone asked I'd be clueless as to when I started imagining his chocolate brown hair shift to a golden blonde or the tanned face to lighten into a pale, fair skin.

Maybe it had been there all along – since the whole necklace incident, and I didn't see it until now.

I sighed, a little too dreamily for my liking, before I fell back on my bed, and pulling out my phone. My fingers moved as if they had minds of their own, scrolling down my contacts stopping on the name that sent my stomach doing somersaults.

I paused, thumbing over the call button.

Should I call him?

Should I _not_ call him?

What if he's still mad at me?

Would I sound too desperate?

It's not like I'm going to suddenly proclaim my love to him over the phone.

There it was again. _Love_. It made my lower belly tingle in this unknown but very familiar feeling whenever the blonde was brought up into conversations. Love. Love. Love.

He loves me, right?

_Of course he does, why else would he say it?_

I felt my face heat up in a small blush as I rolled over on my side, grabbing a pillow and hugging it close to my chest.

Call him.

Don't call him.

_Call_ him.

_Don't_ call him.

_It's __**Roxas**__, for Kingdom Hearts' sake, Kairi! Just call the damn boy!_

I growled before clutching at my phone and impulsively hitting the call button. Whatever drove me to actually call him, died out immediately after two rings. My blood literally drained out of my face, and I felt a huge knot in my throat.

What the hell was I doing? I couldn't just call him, out of the blue. What was I even going to say to him?

_Hi Roxas? _

_Hi __**Roxas**__!_

God, I was such a loser. I contemplated whether hanging up the phone or not, but I didn't get to reach a decision because the next thing I knew I heard his groggy voice on the other line, and I swear all functions of my body stopped.

"Kairi?" He murmured sleepily. My eyes quickly shot towards the clock on my nightstand. It was only 9 o'clock, why on earth was he asleep this early? I mean it was winter break, why would anyone even want to sleep that early when they could - "Hello, are you there?"

I didn't realize I was holding my breath.

"H-hi Roxas." I slapped my forehead. Idiot. Idiot. IDIOT!

He paused.

"Hello." He replied, his voice slowly returning to normal.

_Say something!_

"What is it?" Roxas continued, making me lose my train of thought for a second.

"Um, were you asleep?" I played it off as nonchalantly. Although, my face was slowly turning the color of my hair.

"Yeah kind of…" He trailed off.

I stayed quiet for a second, trying to calm myself. It was just a phone conversation! If I was this bad talking over the phone, I can't imagine how I'd be like around him in person. Why was it so hard just to talk to him now?

That time at the movie theater it wasn't as bad as this, but then well we weren't really talking… and I majorly pissed him off.

My lips fell into a frown as I remembered that conversation.

"I'm sorry." I finally said.

"It's fine, I should've been up anyway – " He started, with a yawn, but I cut him off quickly.

"No, I mean I'm _sorry _about what happened at the theaters the other day." I said quietly.

He hesitated, and then I heard him sigh deeply on the other line.

"I've decided to forgive you already." He replied.

"It was really messed up of- "

"Kairi, I forgive you. Drop it."

I fell silent and looked down at my fingers.

"You still there?" He probed.

"Yeah… " I stopped. "Why did you decide to forgive me so suddenly? You can hold a grudge for a pretty long time you know?"

I heard him scoff, and I just knew he was smirking. I could have almost pictured it.

"It's stupid to be mad at you. And plus it's sort of impossible to stay mad at you for a long time, especially when you try to play baseball." He chuckled.

I pouted.

"That's not funny."

"Yeah it is."

"No it's not!"

"You're right it's not."

"Huh? Really?"

"Yeah. It's sort of cute, in a weird way."

I felt my face boil in embarrassment.

"Sorry, too much?" Roxas asked, after my longer than ten seconds silence.

"N-no it's okay."

He coughed uncomfortably, and I let out a large breath I didn't know I was holding.

"So, is that – uh – why you called me?" He questioned.

"Um… "

Why _did_ I call him?

_I wanted to hear your voice…._

God that sounded stupid even in my head.

"Kairi?"

"I broke up with Sora." I blurted out. I had no idea what possessed me to spill that fresh piece of info to him. I kind of had a different plan as to how I would break the news to Roxas.

Speaking of whom, the other line was silent. For a brief, horrifying second, I seriously thought he hung up on me.

"Really." He finally spoke. It wasn't a question.

"Yeah."

"That's… good?"

"Yeah, it was a mutual decision."

He merely hummed in agreement, which suddenly had me worried. I almost had expected for him to go back to trying to win me over, but it didn't come.

"Uh…yeah." I muttered awkwardly.

"Good for you."

_Good for you? Really, Roxas? Really?_

"Yeah…" I trailed off, only to be disappointed when he didn't say anything else. I sighed. "Well I have to go."

x.X.x

To say that conversation went absolutely well would have been a complete lie. It left me feeling like an idiot and worse, a lovesick puppy. It took me a lot to admit that.

It was even worse than before I apologized to Roxas. I was miserable. How could he have snubbed me like that? I was obviously leaving hints all over that damn conversation. Roxas wasn't oblivious like Sora; I knew he picked up on them. I could have sworn on my life. That fact alone left me feeling even more miserable than what I was initially feeling.

What if he just decided all of a sudden that he didn't want me anymore?

Just the thought of that, made me go crazy. Seriously, fate would suck monkey abortion if that happened.

It got so bad to the point that my mom even snapped at me.

"You're not allowed to act like a mopey lovesick idiot. You're just a kid." She snapped, glaring at me, when we were both watching t.v. and she caught me still in my P.J's.

She'd been snappy for the next few days after that baseball day; my dad still hadn't come home. I didn't really want to get into it. It was their problem. I had my own feelings to worry about.

I just sighed as a response and rolled away from her on the couch. While I groped for the remote on the other side of me, I felt my phone buzz against my leg. I perked up immediately, and snatched up the phone only to feel the wave of disappointment hit me.

It wasn't who I was expecting. Actually, I didn't even know why I was wasting my effort to expect _him_. After the baseball game, the news of my breakup with Sora seemed to spread like a wildfire amongst my friends. I swear I received more than ten text messages a day from different people all sending their condolences to me and rudely cursing out Sora. I don't know what made me angrier the fact that they were insulting Sora or that they honestly believed that I was dumped. Hello, I was _not_ dumped.

It got to the point where I was so close to turning off my phone, but I kept getting that nagging feeling to keep it on, just in case –

_Buzz!_

I looked down at my phone. _A new text message from Xion._

I sighed, before closing it. I really couldn't be bothered by her. I sighed again, when I felt another buzz.

_New message from Xion._

"Ugh, leave me alone, crazy woman!" I growled under my breath, as I snapped my phone shut for the second time.

"I hope you're not talking about me!" My mom warned

"No I'm not so just –"

My speech was immediately cut off when the loud ring of the doorbell sounded through the living room. I stopped short and glanced at my mom, who just shrugged her shoulders.

I jumped from my seat and slowly walked towards the door. I felt my stomach tingle and my face flush.

_Could it be?_

Once I latched my hand on the door handle and yanked it open, the hopeful feeling bubbling in my lower stomach immediately washed away.

"Hey Kairi, you didn't reply to my text messages!" Xion greeted, before giving me a scowl. She stepped through the door, and looked me up and down. Her eyebrow raised in doubt. "Geez I heard all the rumors, but I seriously didn't believe you'd take being dumped by Sora _that_ personally."

I glared.

"I'm not taking it personally." I snapped. "And I was _not_ dumped."

"You're still in your P.J's and it's already noon." She stated flatly. "Come on you have to go out, see the world, forget about that boy."

She grabbed my wrist and dragged me up the stairs towards my room.

"I'm not – I'm not moping over Sora!" I seethed angrily, trying to pull my hand away from hers. She only gripped tighter and yanked me along. I sighed in defeat before following her.

She stopped abruptly, causing me to bump into her. She quickly turned around and eyed me. I could see amusement flashing between those two orbs.

"Oh, so you were moping over someone else I take it?" She teased.

I felt my face flush. Her gaze was unrelenting, until I bowed my head and sighed.

"Yes."

"Hah, I knew it." She blurted out, releasing her grip on my wrist and clapping her hands together. "I knew it! You don't know how badly I want to rub this in Aqua's face. You should've seen how superior she was acting lately. Stupid moron thinks she's all high and mighty just because she's been talking to Roxas. As if she has a chance now that – "

"Wait, she was talking to Roxas?" My mouth went dry as her gloating expression melted in less than a second.

"I mean… it's not- I mean you haven't told him yet right?" Xion deflated. I knew I probably looked ten times as worse. I couldn't help the sinking feeling I felt in my chest. Roxas would rather talk to Aqua than – than me?

If Xion weren't here I probably would have broken down right there in the hallway. But I swallowed the large lump in my throat and shook the feeling away, trying to play off as indifferent. If he wanted to talk to other girls, I didn't care.

It doesn't matter.

_I do care though… Because I –_

"Haven't told him what exactly?" I snapped, brushing past Xion and walking inside my room. I was seriously tempted to slam the door behind me, but I resisted the urge. Instead, I flopped on my bed, praying that Xion would take the hint and leave me to my misery.

But I heard her footsteps approach me, and her shadow loom over my body. She bent over me, gazing at me with that same guilty expression on her eyes.

"That you – that you love him. You do love him don't you?" She pressed, her eyebrows pulling together in confusion.

"No." I sniffed.

Her blue eyes narrowed.

"You're such a little liar! I thought you were passed the denial phase."

"I don't know what you're getting at."

"Oh shut up!" She scowled, grabbing my wrist and pulling me up into a sitting position. "Come on get dressed already. We're going out."

"Where are we going out?" I snapped.

"To see your beloved in all of his skateboarding glory… in the Destiny Islands shopping center parking lot." She beamed, probably an attempt at convincing me.

I paused for a moment considering what she just said.

"I don't want to go out." I complained. Xion rolled her eyes.

"Come on, you look like a vampire."

I turned to look at her with a raised brow. Xion sighed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"And not the Edward Cullen kind either." She added. "Sorry, honey, but you're not sparkling."

x.X.x

After much persuasion on Xion's part, and many complaints on my part, I was dressed. Xion wrinkled her nose at my choice in attire.

"You need to show some legs." She said.

"I don't need to show _anything_." I stammered.

"Don't you want to show off for Roxas?" Xion continued with a tiny little smirk playing on her lips. Her comment silenced me, for a whole ten seconds. I felt my face fall into a deep frown, and heat up considerably.

When I didn't respond, her smile grew until it reminded me vaguely of one of Sora's smiles. "Aha, you're so obvious."

"Shut up!"

x.X.x

We opted for shorts instead.

x.X.x

Once we were outside the door, Xion pulled out her phone and dialed a number. I shivered beside her – I didn't realize that the weather was just as cold as it had been the day of the baseball game. The clouds were still a murky gray and I was worried it would have started to rain any time soon. I was so close to running back inside and throwing jeans on, but Xion clamped a hand on my wrist, as if reading my thoughts.

So I sighed, and rubbed my thighs, hoping to create some kind of warmth.

"Oh hey! Well, we're waiting for you." Xion said into the phone. "Uh huh, uh huh. Yep, outside right now… Well hurry up! Okay bye."

She snapped her phone shut and turned to look at me with a smug look.

"Who was that?" I demanded.

"Namine." She stated simply.

"What? Is – she's not coming with us, is she?" I asked warily. Xion's expression didn't waver as she stared at me with that relentless gaze. Somehow I knew her answer before she even said it.

"Of course, Kairi. She's _our_ friend." She said brightly.

I felt my angered expression fall, and I wrapped an arm over another.

"Xion… I don't think this is a good idea…" I trailed off, hoping she'd get the hint. She sighed heavily and put an arm on my shoulder.

"You two really need to stop being so self-pitying and make up already. You guys are _best friends_." She said, putting major emphasize on the last two words.

I shook my head.

"I don't – I mean it's not as simple as that- " I started, but she huffed impatiently.

"Yes it is! You both are just making it more difficult than what it really is."

"Xion, it is difficult. I don't think things will ever be the same between us. Of course I'll always care for her, but we're just – it's not the same. We won't be as close as we once were and that thought scares me." I admitted. I looked away from Xion's sympathetic stare.

She was quiet, and for a while all I could hear was the creaking of the front porch as she shifted her weight from each foot.

"No, things won't be the same between the two of you. You're right about that Kairi." Xion said finally. "But it's only because you both would be closer than you'll ever be. So just grow up and talk to her."

I frowned and continued to stare at the wooden floor. I didn't know what to say that was more to what I had already said. Xion just didn't get it. She didn't understand how much my friendship with Namine suffered.

"I can't do that." I muttered, lifting my eyes to meet her gaze. Her expression was stony, and she looked as if she were about to argue, but a voice made us both stop in our tracks.

"Sorry, for making you wait. It was my mom, she just get's so paranoid." Namine herself stepped up hesitantly on the porch and looked between us. I knew she could feel the tension, and I wondered idly if she knew exactly what he had been discussing before she came.

Her blue eyes lingered on me, and I caught a mixture of pain and something else flash through them. She looked away immediately when I continued to study her.

"So are we ready to go?" Namine asked overly eager.

"Nope we're waiting for one more person." Xion said, reaching to grab her phone again. "According to his messages, he's almost here."

"Who's coming?" I asked suddenly, snapping my attention away from the blonde to look at Xion.

"Sora." Xion muttered, typing into her phone.

"Sora?" Namine blurted out suddenly. My eyes flickered in her direction and I saw anger boiling in her features. Her blue eyes narrowed, as she gritted her teeth, and directed her glare towards Xion. "Why are you inviting _him_?"

"Play nice, Namine." Xion warned.

Namine flushed and crossed her arms over her chest. "I can't believe you invited him, Xion."

"I was being a good friend." Xion replied coolly. "You shouldn't get so mad."

"I'm not mad." She huffed.

I stared at the two bickering back and forth. Mostly Namine denying her anger and Xion kindly pointing out that Namine was indeed angry. Saying I was confused out of my mind was an understatement. What was going on with Sora and Namine?

Did they not end up together?

My internal questioning stopped when I spotted the familiar, messy brunette, bounding his way up the pathway.

"Hey guys!" Sora said happily, climbing the steps just as Namine had. Speaking of the blonde, she immediately turned her head the other way, refusing to look at him. I caught the way Sora's shoulder's sagged slightly at this.

He smiled at me and pulled me into friendly hug. It was nice, I'll admit. I didn't expect anything and neither did he. We were – for lack of a better word – cool.

"Hey Kairi, how goes it?" He asked in a teasing manner.

_Horrible! You're cousin is a big jerk and I can't believe he'd rather talk to that huge giant bimbo than me!_

I forced a grin. "It's good. And how about you?"

If it were anyone else, they wouldn't be able to tell that Sora, too, forced a smile.

"Fine."

"So we're ready to go right, Xion?" Namine cut in harshly, and I stared almost shocked at how aggressive she was being.

Seriously, what the hell was going on?

x.X.x

"Care to explain what's going on?" I finally asked Sora, as we were walking. He had his hands in his pocket, and his eyes were on Namine, walking with Xion, a few feet ahead of us. "I could be wrong, but I believe the dynamics of our walking partners are a bit mixed up don't you think?"

His lips lifted into a halfhearted smile. He reached up and ruffled my hair.

"Always the sarcastic one aren't you?" He teased.

"Don't change the subject." I replied sharply, shooting him a glare.

He sighed, shaking his head. "She's angry."

"Well that much is obvious." I stated. At this he shot me a dirty look. And I winced apologetically.

"She's angry with me." He clarified.

"What did you do?" I deadpanned.

"Why do you assume it's my fault?" He whined, and I couldn't help but chuckle at this. Sora's lips fell into a pout at my laughter. "Whatever, she's mad because we broke up."

I pulled my eyebrows together as I studied that back of Namine's head as if the answers were all there.

"Why on earth would she be angry over that? Shouldn't she be happy?" I mumbled incredulously.

"That's what I thought!"

"What did you say exactly?" I questioned.

"I just said that we broke up, because we both didn't want to be together anymore and… " He trailed off, with a worried look gracing his features.

"And what?" I demanded, tugging at his sweater sleeve.

"And that you knew about me and her, and our conversation." Sora admitted. I sighed, furrowing my eyebrows.

"That makes no sense." I said.

"I think she feels guilty." He supplied.

"For what?"

"For making us break up."

"It wasn't even her fault." I felt my blood boil. Why does she have to act so stupid at the worst times possible? Sora was clearly showing that he wanted to be with her and she still has the decency to keep rejecting him?

I shook my head, and clutched harder on his sweater. "You're not giving up."

"I don't know what else to do."

"Sweep her off her feet." I commanded.

"I can't, if she won't even look at me." He complained.

"I'll be damned if you two do _not_ get together!" I snapped.

Because really, after everything that happened in order for Namine to finally confess her feelings, it would have been a waste if she just gave up on Sora now.

Sora frowned, before grinning at me.

"Roxas is a lucky guy, yeah?"

My face flushed immediately. "We're talking about you, here." I pointed out.

"Yeah well, _I'll_ be damned if you two do not get together either, so hah!"

I couldn't help it, my lips broke into a wide smile. It was the first smile I made in such a long time.

x.X.x

My heart was already racing as we finally approached the parking lot. My eyes immediately scanned out the area, looking for that familiar honey blonde. Or the sound of wheels scraping against the hard, black concrete.

I was excited – no that wasn't even the word – I was ecstatic. I knew I was practically jumping in my stride as we continued to search for the skater. Sora noticed, shoot me a playful smirk, which caused me to blush angrily and smack him on the arm.

"_Kairiii's_ like a little puppy!" He sang.

"Leave me alone!" I snapped.

Xion was the first to spot him, and when my eyes fell on him, I swear my whole surroundings sort of slowed down to mush. It was cliché to even think that, but I wasn't even thinking that moment.

Roxas rode soundlessly on the pavement, flipped his skateboard, and moved around with such ease that I didn't realize until now that he was actually a pretty graceful person. His blonde hair whipped as the wind hit it. He sped up, doing another flip and I watched amazed.

I was rooted on the spot; _paralyzed_. _Hypnotized_, even by his movements. My legs were like jelly and for a moment I didn't know how I was able to stand up. I felt my stomach churn, as it felt like little people doing trapeze moves across, from one side to the other. My body was swimming with this newfound warmth. He was shining again, shining sunbeams warming my flesh, despite the cold weather. It felt like a toasty summer's day, rather than a cloudy Saturday.

I could briefly see the concentration on his face, his blue eyes filled with that passion I had yearned for. His lips, pursed before every sharp turn or movement he would do. His lips – those soft lips that tasted so much like –

"Go Roxas! You're amazing!" My thoughts came crashing down when I heard _her_ voice. I felt the warmth suck out of my body, as if someone vacuumed my insides.

_She_ was cheering for him, and he turned to look at _her_. I felt the awed expression slowly curl downwards into a frown. Her blue hair danced around her face, as she ran towards him. He stopped his skateboard and approached her, scratching the back of his head.

"Wow, I didn't know you were this good." Aqua said in a low voice, reaching forward to brush her fingers against his arm. "I'm impressed, Roxas."

I caught the way, his pale face flushed slightly. "Oh, uh, well it's nothing really."

"Oh don't be so modest." She moved closer. And for the second time that day, I felt paralyzed.

_What do I do?_

_What can I do?_

"Do you think you can teach me?" She asked, her voice coated with sweetness that almost had me puking.

"Um, well I guess."

Okay that was the last straw.

"Roxas!" I blurted out, causing his head to snap in my direction. The color drained out of his face and I can't exactly say that that was a boost to my self confidence.

"Kairi?" He called out, walking towards me. I noticed, the way his blue eyes dipped down at first (thank you Xion for your smart sense of fashion) and then meet my eyes. "What are you… wearing?"

I blushed lightly.

"Do you like it?"

"It's cold." He deadpanned. Unconsciously I felt myself step closer to him.

"I'm actually feeling a bit warm." I said automatically. His blue eyes narrowed slightly as they darted between my own. I knew he was trying to work out my motives in his head and I wish he wouldn't. Couldn't he tell? I was completely, and undeniably putting myself out there.

All he had to do was take me.

His eyes lowered, and I felt him studying me. It was kind of embarrassing, considering that there were others watching our exchange (I was only vaguely aware of it). He lightly chewed on his lip and I felt my core quiver in excitement. This was it.

_Just make your move already._

His gaze rose back to my face, and I could see the fiery passion in them. The passion that made my heart swell with pride and what was it? Love? I bowed my head and smiled tentatively in his direction.

He opened his mouth to speak but then she interrupted quickly, breaking us both from our intense bubble.

"Oh, hey Katie, long time no see right?" Aqua butted in, wrapping an arm around his. I glared – like full on – glared at her. I tried to wear my most murderous glower, but she just smiled back.

"It's Kairi actually." I spat out, not even trying to hide my obvious disgust.

"Oh right. Sorry." She snapped unkindly. "Anyway, _Roxy_, are you going to teach me now?"

_Roxy? ROXY? No one but __**me**__ can call him that._

I was ready to pounce on this girl. She needed to back off. A very vivid mental image of me, pushing her down on the floor and hitting her face sprang up in my head. It was enough for me to restrain the actual act of it happening, however it didn't stop our glare-athon with each other.

Roxas blinked, snapping out of his daze – his _Kairi_ daze – to stare at her.

"Huh?" He murmured dully.

Aqua pouted, and shot him a puppy dog stare that made me gag. This girl really had no tricks at all. Desperate much?

"You're going to teach me right?" She probed, pressing herself against his side.

"You should take a break." I interjected. "You look really tired. Maybe we can go get an ice cream in the mall?" I latched a hand on his other arm.

"It's okay Karen; he's going to teach me. He doesn't mind, do you Roxas?" Aqua replies, tugging on his arm.

"It's Kairi!" I snapped, letting go of Roxas's hand. "I think Roxas can make up his own mind, _Aqueduct_."

"What did you call me?" She fumed, also releasing Roxas, and stepping forward in a threatening manner. I should have been scared, because she was maybe half a head taller than I was. And with her heels, she only seemed taller. But I was just so angry, the fear inside seemed to have disappeared.

"What? Isn't that your name?"

"It's Aqua."

"Kairi come on." I felt someone tug at my hand from behind. I yanked it back, and took step closer towards the taller girl, who glared down at me.

"I'm so sorry; it must have slipped my mind _Aquarium_."

"You little – "

Xion stepped in the middle, and lightly pushed Aqua back, I still felt the tugging back on my wrist.

"Kairi, _please_!"

I was still angry, but I let the hand pull me away from the blue haired girl. I followed the pulling sensation, without even really seeing who was dragging me away. I was too focused on stomping off, and resisting the urge to run back and seriously punch that girl. Seriously. What. The. Hell?

"Who does she think she is!" I snapped, as we continued to walk off, a safe distance. We turned the corner, and through the automatic doors, inside the loud noise of the shopping center.

"I know, I know." The voice reassured. I felt an arm wrap over my shoulder, and squeeze my shoulder.

"I mean, what does she think she's doing? Hanging on to him like that? I should have just gone back and wiped that stupid smirk off of her face!"

"It's okay Kairi. It's better this way. You don't want to get into a fight."

The arm guided our direction and led me to the bench that was usually next to the directory sign. I felt the arm move away and two hands on my shoulders pushing me to sit down.

I sighed, feeling my anger start to slowly wash away. A hand was still on my shoulder. When it gave me another squeeze, it was then I remembered someone else was with me. I looked up to be met with a worried looking Namine, staring down at me.

"Namine." I mumbled in acknowledgement. She grinned slightly, and sat down next to me.

"You freaked me out for a second." She admitted.

"Sorry." I answered wearily.

"It's okay, I would be angry too." She said softly. I glanced at her, to see the initial pain flash through her eyes.

"Except you weren't." I countered. Her blue eyes widened in shock at my unexpected comment. I was delving into uncharted territory. Some things really are better left unsaid. "Never mind. I think I deserve this, you know, getting a taste of my own medicine."

"No one deserves this." She remarked.

I shook my head, and buried my face in my hands. "I don't know what to do."

Namine was silent. And all I could hear was the babble of the people walking by.

"You have to tell him." She said finally in a quiet voice. "You have to tell him before it's too late."

I looked at her, and I could see it – see herself in her own words. I could feel her own pain. For some odd, reason I realized exactly why she wouldn't be with Sora despite how much she wanted him. She was doing it for me. The respect that she still showed for me was almost heartbreaking.

I could feel my eyes tear up, as I continued to stare at her. I knew we weren't best friends anymore. At that thought hurt me because we still unconsciously _were_ best friends. Nothing could really change that. It was set in stone.

Namine was mine as I was hers.

She saw the tears building up in my eyes and I could see her worried expression growing more prominent.

"Kairi, don't –"

I leaned forward, wrapped my arms around her and buried my head against her shoulder. I felt her stiffen against me.

"Kairi… "

"Please, can we just stay like this for a little while. Just a little bit. Please." I quietly cried into her shirt. She was frozen. I could feel it. But slowly, after what felt like a whole minute, she returned the embrace and pulled me closer.

"Yeah, we can."

x.X.x

We returned back with the group in silence. I couldn't bring up any subject. And I felt like I was on another planet from Namine again. How was it possible that few minutes earlier we were close and now we're as distant as ever again?

Somehow, Xion had convinced Aqua to return home. And no one was in the mood to watch Roxas skate around – even he wasn't in the mood to do that. I watched as he looked at me. A mixture of frustration and confusion.

Namine drifted back to the safe confines of Xion and Sora, and without me noticing, they had intentionally left me alone with Roxas. Sneaky Bastards.

Regardless, I intended to use this time wisely. Quietly I walked towards him, who was sitting on the curb, watching the cars go by. I sat down, closer than what I normally would have sat. Roxas turned to look at me.

"Hey." I murmured, feeling my stomach start to flutter again with his intense stare.

"Kairi what are you doing?" He asked seriously. I faltered slightly. His dark eyebrows pulled together, and his lips pulled downward into a frown.

"What do you mean?"

"What are you doing? Calling me to tell me you broke up with your boyfriend, getting into fights, what are you even trying to accomplish?"

I fell silent, and turned away from his gaze.

"I don't know." I mumbled. "I have no idea what I'm doing."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

I could clearly hear the impatience in his voice. I chewed my lip and contemplated. What do I say? What do I say? What do I say?

I audibly gulped and turned back to him. I reached out and placed a hesitant hand over his. He looked down curiously, before turning back to me.

"I broke up with Sora because I – I want to be with you." I admitted in a quaky breath. "I meant what I said; I like you, Roxas. A lot. And I just – "

"You want to be with me?" He repeated my words slowly. His eyes as wide as saucers. I blinked, before nodding my head. I felt my face heat up in a small blush as I noticed his lips twitch into a small smile. "You, Kairi, want to be with me? And not Sora?"

"Yes." I answered simply, feeling my own lips pull into a smile.

"Pinch me, I must be dreaming." He said in a dazed voice. I watched as he sighed heavily, looking away, and then turning back. All of sudden he reached up towards my face and poked my nose, then my cheek, my forehead and my chin.

"What are you doing?" I laughed out, pushing his hand away.

"Trying to make sure this is real, and that you won't disappear." He muttered. I felt my laugh die out, and my lips fall into a frown. Roxas's eyebrows furrowed and he moved closer. "What's wrong?"

"I should have realized how difficult I made this for you before. And I'm sorry for it." I said softly. His smile only grew as he shook his head.

"Don't apologize."

He reached forward, and his fingers brushed against my cheek. I closed my eyes, relishing the sensation, feeling the goosebumps erupt at his fingertips. This was – this was real. Roxas was here, I was here, and we were here together.

I could feel the words burning at my throat, begging to fall out of my mouth. Those three words that sent my heart pounding and the urge to touch him only stronger.

_Just say it. Say it._

"Can I kiss you?" He whispered gently, only a few inches away from my face. I raised an eyebrow at his nervous expression.

"Since when have you ever asked permission?"

Roxas smirked. "I don't know, it felt like the thing to do. So, can I?"

I paused, considering what he said, before smiling widely.

"You know, now that you mention it. No. You can't kiss me." I said triumphantly, pushing away from him and standing up. At this he frowned, but also stood up.

"Why not?" He demanded.

"After all of those other times we've kissed I just realized something." I said, causing his frown to deepen. He crossed his arms over his chest and cocked an eyebrow.

"And that is?"

"We've never been on a date." I pointed out.

"So? It's never stopped you before." He mumbled sullenly. I felt my face flush at his blunt honesty.

"Therefore, you have to take me out on a date." I continued as if I hadn't heard his comment. "And then maybe, you can kiss me."

He hesitated, staring at me with what looked like admiration and frustration all rolled into one. After a couple of silent seconds, he sighed.

"Fine. Tomorrow. Six o'clock. _I'll pick you up._"

I smiled.

This was it.

_Or so I thought._

x.X.x

**Thank you for reading! :D Hope you enjoyed it! I plan to update soon. But most of the time, my plans are complete disasters. So I couldn't tell you when exactly I'll update. I'm sorry :(  
**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!  
**


	39. Chapter 38

**Hey, my lovely readers. How am I? Well I'm not so good. Just recently I received two very annoying reviews, saying how this story sucks and what not. I mean it doesn't just make me mad that they're saying that, what really pisses me off is that it's an anonymous review. I mean, if you have the nerve to say things like that, why do it anonymously? Just shut up, yeah? If you're not going to make your self known, then you shouldn't let your uneducated comments be known either! I'm deleting you, bitch! (referring to anonymous reviewer)  
**

**So... all in all, I guess I'm offended. I've never really had a mean review like that. Okay, scratch that, I am _really_ offended. And I think it's safe to say my confidence level has deflated a little - okay a lot. **

**Anyway, back to the chapter. Well it's not that long, but most of the chapters here on out are not going to be very long. Not very much Roxiri action - actually sort of the opposite. Eh, you'll read it. **

**x.X.x  
**

**Chapter 38:**

His blue eyes darted between my own, as if searching for some kind of insincerity. I would have been offended if I didn't expect this behavior from him. I stared back unrelenting, until he finally sighed and looked away.

"You're serious?"A

"Of course I am." I replied, raising an eyebrow. I still noticed his hard stare, this time directed towards the cement. "Roxas."

His head snapped up at his name.

"You – you believe me, right?" I hated the way my voice trembled towards the end of the statement. His blue eyes narrowed, before widening. Something flashed between them, I wasn't sure what it was exactly, but it left me a bit uneasy.

Roxas finally let out a small chuckle. "Yeah, I do."

x.X.x

I walked home feeling, almost bouncy in my step. I was – well I was going on a date. A _date_, with Roxas. My thoughts still couldn't process that fact. I was actually going on a date with someone I really – _liked_. I mean, I suppose Sora counted, but I think by the time we started going out I was already developing feelings for Roxas.

I ignored my mother's teasing remarks at my tardiness, and climbed the stairs two at a time, almost tripping over my feet.

After lunging on my bed, I flipped over on my side, looking down at my cell phone. The most recent message was still open, flashing before my eyes.

_Night Kai_

It sent my heart fluttering, seeing the nickname in use again for what seemed like such a long time. This was it. This was my chance to fix things – everything. There wouldn't be any Sora to get in the way, and for the first time since the start of this year I was glad.

x.X.x

I felt his hand in mine loosen suddenly, and it made me snap my attention directly towards his face. His lips were pulled into a half smile as he looked down at me, however the smile did not reach his icy blue eyes. He untangled his fingers from mine.

I opened my mouth to speak but he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and leaned down, causing me to suck in a harsh breath. It wouldn't have been the first time his winter fresh scent made me dizzy.

"_I love you."_ He whispered simply in my ear. It sent chills down my spine, and I involuntarily shivered, despite being in his warm arms.

"I know." I mumbled against his shoulder, feeling my face burn with embarrassment.

"_Kairi, you still don't realize how important you are to me, do you?"_

I lifted my head from his shoulder to stare at him weirdly. His eyebrows were knitted together in distress, and he was averting his eyes.

"What? Of course I do. You – you're important to me too." I stated heatedly. His eyes narrowed slightly and he shook his head.

"No."

"Yes you are – "

He quickly moved his arms away from my shoulders, and clutched my wrists. Before I could even protest, he pressed my hands against the wall behind me.

"Prove it." He said lowly. I could feel his hot breath mix with the cold air. I blinked, staring up at him, only to be met with a wall of ice looking down at me.

"Roxas…" I felt my voice die out, when his hands tightened their grip.

"Say it."

"What?" I could feel my body shrinking away from his.

He opened his mouth as if he were going to say something but immediately stopped. His posture straightened up, and his grip on my wrists loosened. He stared over his shoulder and his lips pulled upward into a cold smirk.

After a few seconds of this position, I tried to peer over his shoulder to see what he was looking at. And as soon as I did, I wish I would have continued staring at Roxas's turned face.

A flash of blue – the fake hair colored blue, whipped in the slight breeze. Her full lips pulled into a matching smirk, as her eyes swiveled about us hungrily. I caught the way she was trying to walk. All seductive and such, and it was only managing to make me angry.

I wanted to reach out and punch her, but Roxas's hands on mine reminded me I was trapped in an uncompromising position. So I suited for directing his attention back on me.

"What is she doing here?" I demanded. He ignored me. I looked over his shoulder again to see that she stopped, staring at us with an unreadable expression. Her dark eyebrow cocked upwards as she raised her arm, and beckoned him to follow her in that _come hither_, sort of way. Her index finger bent forward twice before he unlatched himself from me, turned and began walking in her direction.

_Uh, what the hell?_

"Roxas!" I called out. It could have been my vision, but my surroundings were slowly fading to black, to the point where I couldn't see the back of his blonde head, or the blue of hers.

In less than a few seconds I was in complete darkness. It was so dark I couldn't even see my own hand I was waving in front of my face.

_Where was I?_

What was I doing again?

Black, cold, scary.

A shiver of fear echoed throughout my body. I wanted to go back. But back where? Where was I even going to begin with? Why was I here? Was I dead?

I wanted to go back to being in my room, reading over the text message from –

"Kairi."

When I heard the soft rumbling voice behind me, I knew it was _him_. I couldn't mistake it for anyone else. The tone, the volume, even the way he said it was _him_. As I turned my head slowly, the darkness around ebbed away revealing his tall figure. When did _he_ get tall? He looked like a giant. I tried to ask him, but my mouth wasn't responding. His image was becoming clearer by the minute.

"You." I felt my lips move finally. He cracked a grin, his blue eyes twinkling like diamonds. He took a step closer in the gap between us. I tried to lift my feet up to walk to him too, but I couldn't, they were glued to the black floor. I glared furiously at my feet, fighting to lift up one foot but they wouldn't budge.

"Kairi" He called out again, but this time his voice was slightly farther away. I glanced up immediately. His hand was stretched out, palm up, waiting for me to grab it. My arm outstretched struggling to grip his hand because he was magically moving away.

"Wait!" I called begging for my legs to move. A deep feeling of resentment grew in the pit of my stomach as another figure began to form. A _blue_ figure. A form that Roxas was moving closer to. His smile faded as he saw me stuck to the floor. His blue eyes clouded over darkly as if there was no hope. Soon he was grimacing.

I lunged forward desperately but only resulted in falling face flat on the cold black floor. I lifted my head to look up at him. His dark blonde eyebrows were knitted together, hiding under his bangs. He lowered his hand so that it was back at his side again.

"Wait!" I screamed again, reaching out to him. He shook his head gravely, jerking his head to something behind him. I let my gaze look over his shoulder to see the blurry form start to clear out. I blinked away, before it could become clear, to stare back at him. He grinned at me halfheartedly, turning his body to walk away. Why did it feel like a strange sense of déjà vu?

"_See you around, Kairi_." He whispered softly. I knew it was bad. My heart pounded in my chest, cursing at me for not following. I felt alone and lost.

"_Roxas!"_

A deep chill of shock and fear ran through my body as I saw his body fade away.

"Wait!" I yelled, sitting straight up in my bed. I looked around wildly for any sign of him.

After a few seconds I realized I was in my room on my bed waking up from a nightmare. I felt my forehead wiping off the cold sweat and sighed. My tank top stuck to me like glue from all the sweat.

I blinked taking in the darkness of my room. I couldn't remember turning them off before sleeping. I didn't even remember falling asleep. I fumbled around in my sheets before flicking on the lamp, feeling as if the light filled me with warmth.

I was so cold. I was breathing unevenly. My heart was pounding. I was shaking. And I had no idea what caused me to do all of this. I ran a hand through my hair, trying to calm myself. What the hell happened?

I wracked through my head trying to remember what the bad dream was. But for the life of me, I couldn't remember at all – only that something _bad_ was happening, obviously, hence the _bad_ dream.

Feeling my pulse slow down, I flopped back down on my bed, throwing an arm over my head. I sighed out loud. Why couldn't I remember? I couldn't even recall who was in it, or what the hell was happening?

All I just knew was that whatever it was scared me to death.

I removed my hand from my forehead and my fingers pressed against something cold. I looked up quickly, to find my phone lying innocently on my pillow. I relaxed, reassured that it wasn't something else that was going to attack me.

I grabbed it and debated whether phoning Xion to put me to sleep. She probably would have no problem talking until I knocked out – or maybe Olette would have been a better choice. I fumbled with the buttons, scrolling down the contacts, only stopping when _his_ name literally made me jump out of my skin.

I instinctively threw the phone across the room, and it clattered with a loud noise.

Okay seriously, what the hell was _that_?

I blinked, sitting stiffly, glaring at the phone splayed across the floor. His name still blinking back at me. I felt my core quiver in fear as I thought of said blonde. It was irrational – this sudden feeling of dread. It only brought a slight wave of frustration below the frightened feeling pumping through my veins.

I sat there, feeling my body ache from being in that awkward, upright position.

"_Prove it."_

"_I love you."_

"_Kairi!"_

"_You don't realize…"_

"_Say it."_

"_I love you."_

"…_important to me…"_

"_See you around, Kairi."_

"… _do you?"_

With a tiny gasp, I jumped off of my bed and dived for my phone. My fingers dialing the number that had been ingrained in my head for who knows how long.

"Hello?" His soft groggy voice sent my pulse into a sporadic rhythm, not the _good_ one either.

"_Roxas_, I need to ask you to do something for me, okay?" I said quickly. I heard him yawn.

"Kairi, you do know what time it is right?" He mumbled. And I could almost picture him ruffling his hair.

"I know." Okay that was lie. I quickly looked over my shoulder to see 2:39 am, flashing in my face. "It's really late, I know. But I need you to do something. And I know that this is completely unreasonable for me to ask you, but I just – I just need the reassurance, okay?"

"Kairi?" I was aware of how serious he became at my panicky tone. "Kairi what is it? Are you in trouble?"

"No, no, no, it's not that. Listen I need you to promise something okay?"

"You're – you're kind of scaring me." He admitted. I managed the action of rolling my eyes. If he only knew how scared I was at this moment.

"Roxas, be serious." I muttered.

"Okay, okay, calm down, what is it?"

"You – you still love me right?"

I could practically feel the hesitation on the other line. Out of all the other times he was perfectly fine proclaiming his love for me, he chose now to be hesitant.

"Why are you – "

"Roxas, please."

"Yes, I do love you."

I let out a breathy sigh, before responding.

"Then just," I paused, gulping audibly._ "Promise me you won't break my __**heart**__."_

It was silent on the other line. I was this close to screaming for him to answer but he replied before I could.

"Yeah, okay, I promise."

x.X.x

I fell asleep, after the abrupt phone call. But I still couldn't shake of that nagging, uneasy feeling in my gut.

He promised. Relax.

x.X.x

I woke up to the sound of loud footsteps in my room. My eyes cracked open slightly, as I tried to blink myself awake. If it was my mom stomping around I swore I would've –

"Hey, you're finally up!"

_Okay, not my mom…_

"Xi- Xion?" I grumbled half surprised and mostly still sleepy. Her face broke out into a wide, bright smile as she bounced over to the side of my bed. "What are you doing here?"

"You're mom let me in, dummy." She murmured, rolling her eyes. She plopped down on the end of the bed; I had to curl up so she wouldn't sit on my feet.

I sat up, rubbing my eyes.

"Wow you don't look so good. Didn't sleep that well, did you?" She remarked, staring at me with a raised brow. "Are you that excited for your little date?"

"How did you – "

"Puh-lease Kairi, I have my ways. You were practically glowing yesterday." Xion leaned back to observe me with a large smirk.

"Oh right." I mumbled dryly, throwing the covers away, and moving to sit beside her on the edge of the bed. I felt her eyes on me, so I tried to hide my insecurities. Why on earth was I insecure? I had no idea myself. It was just a dream.

_Then why did it have that eerie premonition feel to it?_

"What is it?" Xion's voice broke me away from my thoughts.

"It was just a bad dream." I admitted, stretching, trying anything to divert her attention away from me. But that seemed to have the opposite effect, considering Xion broke out into a wide smile and poked me in the stomach.

"Aw does little Kairi need a night light now, or a fluffy teddy bear to go to sleep?" She giggled. "What was it about anyway?"

"We were at a carnival and you died choking on cotton candy." I deadpanned, causing the smile to wipe off her face immediately.

"I love cotton candy!" She spluttered out horrified.

"Maybe it's a sign then." I concluded, resisting the urge to snicker as she brought a hand to her jaw dropped mouth. "What are you doing here?"

Xion brightened at the change of subject.

"Oh I needed to make sure your attire for your date was appropriate." She said. I rolled my eyes.

"Xion, I'm pretty sure my attire _will_ be appropriate – "

"Okay, let me rephrase that then: I needed to make sure your attire for your date was _inappropriate_." She replied, clapping her hands together.

"Wha-"

"Because honestly – and Olette agrees with me here – you need to show more skin and show off what your…" Xion paused, trailing off. Her eyebrows pulled together.

"Xion, my what?"

Her head snapped back up at me. "You filthy liar! It's physically impossible for me to choke on cotton candy, because it instantly melts in your mouth the moment you eat it."

I literally face palmed.

x.X.x

I didn't quite understand the purpose of Xion being here so early in the day, considering my date was later in the afternoon. She insisted that she needed the whole day to prepare me, but most of the time we were lounging about in my room. Whatever the case was, I had to admit I was a little relieved by her presence. It sort of took my mind of that awful dream, and made me forget the slight paranoia I was feeling at seeing Roxas.

The snap of Xion's phone caught my attention.

"Ugh." She grumbled, throwing it on the bed.

"What's wrong?"

"Sora." She deadpanned.

I felt my lips pull into a tiny smirk. "So how is _loverboy_?"

"Awful!" She moaned, rolling her eyes. "I swear, if I see him give Namine that broken puppy dog look again, I'm going to shoot myself."

"That bad huh?" I winced.

"I wish he'd just grow a pair and make sweet love to her all night lon- "

"Ew, I don't need a visual okay?" I yelled, throwing my hands to my ears. "And leave Sora alone!"

She giggled. "Aw developed a soft spot for him?"

I pouted, crossing my arms over my chest.

"He's become like my best friend." I muttered. "And besides, it's hard for him, she's not giving him a chance."

Xion stopped her teasing and sobered up.

"I thought Namine was your best friend?" She challenged with a raised brow. I felt my face flush with embarrassment immediately.

"It's not – I just – what I mean is – it's complicated." I finished, feeling incredibly stupid.

Xion rolled her blue eyes, in an exaggerated way and let out a loud _OMG_.

"You two have yet to make up don't you?"

"I wouldn't know what to say to her." I mumbled honestly. "I can't just pop in her room and say 'hey'!"

"Of course you can!" Xion exclaimed, rising from her seat, and yanking me up from mine. "We'll go now!"

I fell silent as she dragged me to the door, and down the stairs. The thought of going to Namine's house and talk to her didn't exactly process inside my head until we were already out the door.

"Wait what?" I burst out, snatching my hand away from Xion's. She huffed and scrunched her dark eyebrows together in frustration.

"We're going to talk to Namine. Now come on!"

"Are you crazy? I'm not going in there!" I cried, stepping away from her advance.

"Come on Kairi, quit being a baby. I'll be with you the whole step of the way." She said with a wink.

I let out a mangled groan as she grabbed my arm and pulled me towards Namine's house. Every step towards the white house made me feel like I was walking towards the gallows. Why did Xion have to be so irritating?

She should really just mind her own business, I mean what if I –

"Hi, Namine's mom!" Xion greeted brightly, breaking me from my thoughts. I didn't realize we had already reached the doorstep, and her mother had opened the door.

Namine's mom. Ugh. I remembered clearly our last conversation, and I knew she remembered it too, because her eyes fell on me with disdain.

"I told you, my name is – "

"Uh, is Namine around?" Xion interrupted, tiptoeing to look behind the tall blonde's shoulder. Her blue eyes swiveled in my direction again. They were threatening as I stared back with a raised brow.

"Who wants to know?" She spat back, still glaring at me.

"Me and Kairi, right Kairi?" Xion took the liberty of nudging me on the side. I coughed uncomfortably and nodded my head, averting my eyes from her glower.

"She's extremely busy and doesn't want any visitors at this moment so you both should – "

"Mom is that Xion?" Namine's voice came from behind. And in less than a second the shorter blonde appeared at her mother's side, with a curious expression.

She broke out into a half grin at seeing Xion and when her eyes glanced at me, I couldn't help but noticing her smile waver. Wonderful, this plan was going to work out _beautifully_.

"Right well, Kairi and I have some important business to discuss with you." Xion tried to say it professionally but ended up giggling towards the end. Namine laughed as well and held the door open for us to enter.

Namine guided us upstairs towards her room, despite the fact that I could practically find her room on my own, even if I was blindfolded.

Seeing the bare white walls of her room sent an odd mixture of discomfort and familiarity rushing through my body. It had certainly been a long time since I had been in this room. And it still unnerved me how exactly the same it sort of looked, from her chair, to the intricate detailed sketches scattered on her desk.

"Sit." Namine mumbled awkwardly, taking a seat herself, cross legged on her carpeted floor. Xion immediately flopped on her bed, swinging her dangling legs over the side of the bed. I slowly eased myself in the chair.

Namine twiddled with the end of her blonde hair and looked at Xion and then slowly at me.

"So what is it?"

Xion sat up abruptly. "Kairi wants to tell you something."

Namine's eyebrows rose slightly, as she directed her attention on me. I pouted, shooting Xion a hard glare. She shrugged her shoulders with a smug grin. I shook my head sighing, turning my head back towards Namine.

"Well, uh, um…"

"You know what?" Xion interrupted, rising from her seat. "I forgot something in your room Kairi."

I raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"Yep, that's right. My – uh – my phone! I forgot my phone in your room and I'm expecting an important call from… uh Olette!" She lied quickly. How did I know she was lying? Her phone was bulging out of her right jean pocket.

And I was just about to call her out on it until –

"I'll be right back to go get it okay? So don't let me stop you from saying whatever it is you want to say." She said hurriedly, running out of the room.

_Traitor…_

I would have to make a mental note to not trust Xion ever again.

"She does know that it's in her pocket right?" Namine asked quietly.

"Of course she does. She just wanted an excuse to leave us alone." I mumbled heatedly, forgetting who exactly I was talking to. After a few seconds I turned away from her with an embarrassed expression.

"You're here," Namine started slowly. "To fix things."

I paused, looking up to meet her gaze. Her dark eyebrows knitted together as she stared at me intensely. Her blue eyes were hollow and I didn't know exactly what to expect from her.

"Yes, I am." I admitted. "I don't know where to start, or what to say to you. I'm just – I'm just sorry okay?"

She gulped audibly and looked away from me. Her arms crossed over themselves, and I could see her knuckles white with strain.

"You can't fix everything you do know that Kairi?" She remarked softly. I felt my face flush with sudden frustration. My eyes narrowed as I stared at her.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I said, feeling like smacking myself at the slight anger in my tone. Namine's head snapped up in my direction. "I'm apologizing aren't I?"

She shook her head. "I mean, _you_ can't really fix anything that_ I_ broke."

"What are you talking about?" I demanded, rising from my seat.

"Our friendship Kairi. It's – it's all screwed up." She blurted out. "And it's because of me. I – I made an idiot out of myself. I hurt myself and you too in the process."

I gulped, watching as she repeatedly looked at me and looked away, and her eyes blinking away what I now noticed were unshed tears.

I let out a shaky breath.

"I- It wasn't just your fault, Namine." I tried to say, but she shook her head, bringing a hand to her face and wiping furiously. "I-I hurt you too. Probably more than – "

"Don't do that." She snapped.

"What?"

"Defend me. We're – we're not kids anymore." She said in a low voice. "It's not the same."

She met my gaze and I felt a surge of frustration hit me again.

"Then why can't it be the same again?" I cried, feeling my bottom lip tremble.

"Stop, please – " She mumbled, bowing her head.

"I want my best friend back." I pleaded, feeling my voice break towards the end of my statement. "I just – I just want us to be best friends again."

"And you don't think I want that too?" She demanded.

"Then why – "

"Because I wouldn't know how to be your best friend again." Namine countered. My eyes widened in shock and I felt my jaw drop open. She sniffed loudly, rubbing her eyes again. I watched as she fidgeted in her spot. Her cheeks grew red with embarrassment at blurting the statement out.

I swallowed the large lump in my throat, that at some point, appeared.

"Is that how you really feel?" I questioned in a small voice. Namine bowed her blonde head again, shaking it slowly. She brought her hand away from her face to wrap it around her stomach, before looking back up at me.

"Kairi," Her voice was a trembling whisper as she addressed me. "You have no idea, how much this - _guilt_ is eating away at me. For pushing you away, stealing Sora." She looked away, and shook her head again. "I couldn't even look at you without reliving everything all over again."

"Namine – " I tried, taking a step towards her. She automatically backed away and sunk on her bed, glaring at the floor – anywhere but me.

"I resented you for the longest time." She admitted in a lower voice. "And I hated myself for feeling that way because you were my best friend. _We were supposed to love each other no matter what._ I should've told you. From the very beginning, so we didn't have to get into this mess."

She sighed and buried her face in her hands.

"You must've realized our friendship was on thin ice way before that whole Riku drama happened." She spoke softly. I couldn't find my voice. So I just continued to listen to her. "We stopped talking. _Why did we stop talking?"_

I knew what she meant. And I felt ashamed for not answering her question. Why _did_ we stop talking? Stop talking about our feelings, or our secrets.

I shook my head helplessly, and slumped into the bed, sitting next to her.

"I'm sorry." I muttered.

"I'm sorry." She whispered back. I stared straight ahead, at the blank, white wall in front of me. I could sense she was doing the same thing.

.

"_That's me and you silly"_

"_Why do I have purple hair?"_

"_Oh, I didn't have a red crayon,"_

_._

_"Why don't you draw someone else?"_

_"Relax Kairi; it's not the end of the world."_

.

"_So you like it right?"_

"_I love it, thanks Namine."_

_._

_"Aw, look at the pretty little face she hid from the world!"_

_"Ah, Namine stop!"_

_"Say uncle!"_

_"Uncle, uncle!"_

_._

_"Aww, how cute,"_

_"Eww you smell go take a shower!"_

_"Eww, you're dirty, you go take a shower!"_

_._

_"I'm sorry… I ruined the trip for you."_

_"Its fine, I wouldn't have gone in the water anyway."_

_"You look miserable though," _

_"I'm not."_

_"You sure?"_

_"Positive."_

_._

_"The best ice cream there is! And Kairi and I have been loyal customers and consumers of this frozen delight so I think we should deserve some kind of treatment!"_

_._

_"Oh Namine! I'll wear it all the time!"_

_"__Don't lose it!"_

_"__I won't!"_

_._

_"I cannot believe you!"_

_"Just drop it Kairi."_

_._

_"Um, well there was a fight at school, and I kind of got caught in the middle, but I didn't really get hurt."_

_"Why were you fighting?"_

_._

_"Please, please get better. I don't want to see you like this."_

_"I'm going to go home. You're right. I shouldn't have come."_

.

_"We have to call you're mom- yes. That's good. She'll know what to do. Oh god, how am I going to tell her Kairi's arm is broken? She'll kill me. She'll kill Riku first, then me- or maybe Sora first. I don't know! Ah, but Kairi needs help. Now. Oh jeez what am I going to do!"_

_._

_"Don't be stupid Namine. You know you're going to get hurt."_

_"If you can't accept that then maybe… maybe we shouldn't be friends anymore."_

_._

"It's melting."

"_**Kairi**_, _stop laughing! You're making me feel like a – "_

_._

_"It's okay, I would be angry too." _

_"Never mind. I think I deserve this, you know, getting a taste of my own medicine."_

_"No one deserves this." _

_._

_"Kairi… "_

_"Please, can we just stay like this for a little while. Just a little bit. Please."_

_"Yeah, we can."_

.

The empty wall stared back at me – almost mockingly. Is this what we had come to? Our friendship? Empty blank white walls?

I shook my head feeling a sudden surge of determination. I tilted my head in Namine's direction, before reaching out and placing my hand on top of hers. She almost jumped at the sudden contact. She turned to look down and meet my gaze.

I gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, before looking back at the wall.

"I need you." I said simply. "_Be my friend."_

I heard her let out a humorless chuckle, flipping her hand over and squeezing back.

"Okay."

x.X.x

We both walked back to my house to find Xion chatting animatedly with my mom in the kitchen. She looked up guiltily when she spotted us in the kitchen doorway, sporting a fresh milk mustache. My eyes scanned the table to find her glass and a couple of cookies.

"You little liar." I accused.

"Your mom made cookies!" Xion chimed in brightly, shoving a few cookies in my face. "They're _so_ good. Try one!"

"Don't bribe me with cookies!" I snapped, flicking them away.

"Kairi be nice." My mother scolded me from the other side of the table. I frowned, crossing my arms over my face to counter, but I stopped when I noticed my mom's eyes on the blonde behind me.

"Namine," She greeted with a raised brow. "It's been a long time hasn't it?"

The said blonde, looked down, her pale cheeks brightening into a crimson color.

"I uh- well… "

"I haven't seen you around." She continued, disregarding Namine's babbling. I glared at my mother, stepping in front of the blonde.

"Mom," I hissed. "Shut up."

My mom blinked, as if she couldn't believe I said that. I would have laughed, if I wasn't all that afraid of her reaction. So I quickly latched my hand on Xion and Namine's wrists dragging them upstairs.

Xion whistled tunelessly as we climbed the stairs, glancing down at her phone. In less than a second, her eyes bulged out.

"Kairi! It's four o' clock!" She exclaimed.

I shot her a confused stare.

"Yeah so?"

"Your date!" She sputtered, pushing me the rest of the way. "Ah, you need to get ready!"

Quite honestly, I literally forgot about my little date. The nervous feeling emerged suddenly. And I felt a bit queasy.

"Come on, come on!" Xion snapped practically throwing me in the bathroom. "Go take a shower, preferably a quick one!"

I frowned at Xion's ignorance and I caught Namine shoot us an amused smile.

x.X.x

I watched the both of them rifle through my closet, trying to find the perfect outfit. Occasionally, one of them lifted a shirt thoughtfully, before chucking it over their head.

"You know, most people going on a date would think it was their job to pick out their _own_ outfit." I said pointedly.

"Shut up!" Xion said brightly. "Aha!"

She exclaimed pulling something out, that looked rather familiar.

"Oh no! Not that thing!" I cried out, shooting a threatening finger at the horrid pink clothing dangling from Xion's hand.

"I like it; it's cute." Xion remarked, throwing it in my direction. "Go put it on."

"I am not wearing a dress, for a stupid date!" I protested.

"Oh but it's not a stupid date is it? It's a date with Roxas." Namine pointed out, with a teasing smile. I felt my face flush angrily.

I shot them both a dirty look before stomping off to the bathroom to change.

x.X.x

By the time six o' clock came around, all three of us sat in the kitchen. I felt my heart pounding anxiously. That sense of dread still lingered, but the excitement overpowered it. I was going on a date. Finally.

I tapped my fingers on the kitchen table watching Namine and Xion try to throw bits of cookie into each others' mouths. I cocked an eyebrow, feeling my lips tug into a smile.

"Shouldn't you guys, like, leave or something?" I said, watching a piece of cookie hit Namine square in the forehead.

"Hush now, Kairi, we have to be here to make sure we interrogate Roxas and find out exactly what his intentions are with our little girl." Xion admonished, giving me a smug look. I sighed, turning to Namine, who was angrily rubbing her forehead, shooting Xion a glare. I watched amused as she grabbed a whole cookie and chucked it at an unsuspecting Xion. "Ow, that cookie doesn't fit in my mouth!"

"Sorry." Namine apologized with a shrug of her shoulders. "And Xion is right."

"If I was right then why did you try to stuff a _whole_ cookie in my mouth?" She snapped back heatedly.

"No, I meant about the boy's intentions. We have to make sure he doesn't have ulterior motives, right Xion?" Namine said playfully, but if I looked close enough I could see her eyes glaze over. Namine _would_ have said that, considering that whole drama with Riku.

"Right!" Xion agreed.

I sighed again, and leaned my face against my hand. My eyes flickered towards the clock, hanging above the doorway. It was 6:15. I tried not being a little butt hurt by it, but he was undeniably _late_.

"It's going to rain soon." Xion mumbled darkly, staring outside the window. "I can feel it."

I couldn't disagree with her there. From the start of this whole vacation, the weather has been murky and cloudy and freaking cold. I cringed as I thought about going out in this short dress in the cold. Could my friends be any_ more_ helpful?

We stared in silence at the gray sky, until Namine abruptly broke the silence.

"It's 6:30." She stated, worriedly.

"There's probably traffic or something." I defended.

"Roxas doesn't drive." Xion mumbled.

"Maybe he's riding his skateboard." Namine suggested, shrugging her shoulders.

"Yeah and how would Kairi and Roxas go on their date?" Xion muttered, shaking her head incredulously.

"She could ride his back?" Namine immediately burst out laughing at that idea. Soon Xion joined in and I was left glaring at the two.

"Hardy har har." I snapped, staring back at the clock. 6:40. Okay, so he was forty minutes late. No big deal.

I bet people were late all the time, on their first dates. Really, it was no big deal.

It _still_ wasn't a big deal when forty minutes turned into an hour.

"Okay this is getting ridiculous." Xion snapped. "I've been eating cookies for an hour and he still isn't here!"

She jumped from her seat and started pacing back and forth through the kitchen. I looked away from her; just watching her stomp around angrily was making me nervous again. Not in the good way. I could feel the fear sprouting up in my chest. _What if he's not coming?_

"He'll be here." Namine whispered, placing a hand over mine reassuringly. I nodded my head in response and glanced back at the clock.

7:10.

7:30.

7:55.

8:20.

I fiddled around with my phone, debating whether to call him. I didn't want to. I felt like I shouldn't have to. And I didn't want to sound like some needy, weirdo. I stared out the window, gazing at the purplish black color of the sky.

9:00.

"He'll be here Kairi, he will."

9:18.

9:39.

My fingers dialed his number hurriedly and it immediately went to voicemail. I tried calling more than once, probably more than ten times.

9:50.

Xion had already left, saying something a long the lines of _finding that kid and beating his pretty boy face into his skateboard._

"Maybe something's wrong." Namine tried to reason, with knitted eyebrows. I was passed the point of trying to listen to her reassure me. It wasn't working anyway. Something was wrong. But I didn't think he was in any immediate danger.

My phone vibrated against my hand. I flipped it open and felt a wave of anger seeing the name of the sender. I pressed the open button furiously, and I swear my stomach dropped when I read the message.

_I can't do this anymore. Sorry._

"Kairi? Kairi what is it?" Namine's voice sounded far away as I blinked stupidly at the message. I felt – well I felt - embarrassed. Was this some kind of joke?

"Please tell me this is a joke." I whispered in an uneven voice, answering my own question. I felt my eyes sting and I knew what was coming next. I hurriedly wiped my eyes and stood up. I heard the scrape of the chair as Namine rose from her seat as well.

"What's wrong?"

I turned, trying to blink away the hot, watery, blurriness. I felt her hesitant hands on my shoulders, turning me back towards her.

"Kairi."

"He's not coming."

"Kairi, please look at me."

My eyes flickered in her direction to find her staring back at me with worried eyes. It took only a few seconds for my resistance to break.

And I crumbled.

x.X.x

**Meh, rude people suck :(**

**Next chapter is going to be really short, hopefully I can post it up in a few days. Thanks for reading.**

**Review? (preferably not about the earlier said review... I'd rather not be reminded)**

**Also, Help Japan ! **

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	40. Chapter 39

**Wow, so, I finally updated. I know, this is absolutely ridiculous. I told you guys I was updating in a few days and a whole 2 weeks go by. Ideally I wanted to update before I went on Spring Break - which was last week for me - because I was going on a road trip. Where you ask? To Washington ;) It was COLD. And no; there were no Vampires or shape shifters that take form of wolves either. **

**Anyway back to the point, it isn't exactly excusable - this road trip. I brought my lap top and used WiFi and all that good stuff, so I should have updated. -_-' I'm sorry about that. I really am. And an even bigger disappointment was that I didn't lie about how short this chapter was going to be. :x**

**You guys deserve better than me! Your reviews make me so freaking happy. No joke. And I feel terrible that I don't get to reply personally to _all_ of you who leave reviews. It's just - I don't want to say it breaks my heart ...but it kind of does ( in a weird, non stalkerish way). But... I'm going to continue trying. And if I absolutely fail again...**

**THANK YOU FOR YOUR REVIEWS DX! **

**... now picture that in Yoda's accent... (well nvm... it's be something like: for your reviews, I thank you)  
**

**So, in the story's news, I kind of like this chapter, only because I like Aqua. Buahahahaha. Also, you guys might hate me a little once you're done reading. (Dui bu qi, dui bu qi) *Sigh* will you look at this disgustingly long disclaimer? Without further ado, I present to you (lmao rhymes xP)  
**

...

**Chapter 39:**

_So don't make me wait, honey/ Don't make me say it out loud/ Don't hesitate now, honey/ Or it will all fall down_

-"Don't Make Me Wait" The World Fair_  
_

* * *

**x.X.x**

I blinked awake, when I heard a loud yawn beside me. My eyes blearily landed on the blonde laying beside me.

Namine was rubbing her eyes, mouth opening for another yawn. I stared silently, half covered by the sheets. When did she get here?

She blinked sleepily, staring at the ceiling for a moment, before tilting her head to meet my gaze. Immediately her drowsy blue eyes, widened sympathetically. Her dark eyebrows drew together tightly, and her lips pulled into a grimace.

"You're awake." She mumbled awkwardly, sitting up. Her eyes never left mine, as she stretched and moved towards the edge of the bed. I said nothing, but continued to stare at her. "I was getting worried that you wouldn't get up at all."

Her lips twitched into a tiny smile.

"What are you doing here?" I mumbled, half confused and half astonished. Her smile faded.

"I mean – I didn't know – I just wanted to see if you'd – I didn't want to leave you after what happened…" She finished sheepishly.

My eyes narrowed. "What are you talking about?"

She visibly paled, and retracted in her position slightly. She chewed her bottom lip, averting her eyes. Her whole posture reeked of hesitation and I had no idea why.

"Kairi," She whispered her voice low and full of concern. "Roxas didn't show up."

I should have remembered – no I should have realized it wasn't some kind of sick dream. That in fact, all that crying last night was real and not a nightmare. And having my best friend holding me was real as well.

I turned to the girl in question, as watched as she gently eased herself closer to me.

x.X.x

The time didn't occur to me until I walked into the kitchen and stared at the blinking digital clock on the stove. Noon. It was already noon. My eyes drifted towards the blonde who followed me into the kitchen, bringing a hand to her mouth to stifle the yawn bursting out of her mouth. She looked as tired as I felt.

I wondered briefly if she even really slept at all.

"Your mom had to run off to do some errands." Namine said finally, when she noticed me peering around her. "Probably Christmas shopping right?"

I was thankful for this and nodded my head in acknowledgment. She coughed uncomfortably, wringing her hands out. She took a seat by the table and watched me carefully. I reciprocated.

"Oh I forgot to tell you," She started suddenly, sitting up straighter. "Your Dad came by… and told me to tell you he'll be off on another trip."

I felt my face tense up, and I hurriedly looked away from her probing blue eyes. I had forgotten that we weren't _friends_ when that whole parental business went down. I didn't even know how to explain it to her – or even if I wanted to.

But, miraculously, she seemed to have caught on.

"I'm sure it's nothing Kairi." She reassured. And for one brief moment I felt better. It wasn't so much her words, anyone could have said them and they'd still be an empty reassurance. I think it was more the fact that now; there was someone that could say that to me. Try to reassure me. Be there.

"Thanks." I said after a moment of silence at the table. "I mean – for this. You didn't have to. And I know we – it might be still uncomfortable for us to consider ourselves as – as _best friends_."

Namine's lips tilted into a small half smile, reminding very vaguely of her pre-school year old self.

"I am your best friend. Always."

The words were pouring out of my lips, and I was just about to return her gesture when something interrupted me. The doorbell rang breaking my speech. Namine shot me a confused stare, shrugging her shoulders. I chewed my lip before pushing myself up from the table and walking towards the door. I could hear the light padding of Namine's feet as she cautiously followed me.

I peeked through hole of the door only to find it blocked completely. Annoyed, I threw the door open only to wish I had shut the door again. There standing before me, stood a nervous looking Roxas. His blue eyes met mine, and they hardened, before he looked away.

"Kairi." He greeted softly.

My stomach flopped, and I seriously felt two seconds away from throwing up. All that warm, fuzzy feelings I felt earlier drained out of me as if unplugged in a bathtub.

I hated the way my heart beat in excitement at the sight of him. I was still angry and I hated the way my body betrayed me.

I pressed my mouth into a tight firm line, watching him wearily.

"Can I come in?" He asked, attempting to take a step forward but I quickly blocked the doorway. He stopped, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise, before furrowing. He bowed his head, and coughed uncomfortably. "Kairi, I'm sorry."

I hesitated opening my mouth to speak. But I closed it again, and continued to watch him. I could feel Namine's eyes burn holes through the back of my head. I wished she would've left.

"I need to talk to you – please, Kairi." He mumbled, lifting his head up again to stare at me. His eyes were smoldering, and for a brief second it hurt to look at him.

"You've got some nerve to show up here and expect for her to answer to you!" I heard Namine snap behind me. I watched as Roxas visibly recoiled, and took a step back. His lips pulled down into a miserable frown.

I audibly gulped and tilted my head to glance at Namine, who looked like an angry cat.

"Namine, please." I mumbled, causing her to stare at me confusedly. Her expression softened, and she nodded. She stomped past me, raising her head to glare at Roxas briefly, before walking past him too. She stopped and turned back.

"I'll be next door." She said, before continuing her trek. I wasn't exactly sure who she was talking to specifically.

Roxas and I both watched as she left in silence. It wasn't until he coughed suddenly that I remembered he was there with me.

"I need to talk to you." He repeated again. I leaned against the doorframe, crossing my arms over my chest, and putting up a glare. I hoped to god it was an angry enough glare.

"Go on." I said, shocking myself with how much venom I managed to produce in that statement. Roxas winced, noticing it too.

"I-I'm sorry." He said.

"I figured that much already." I deadpanned; my nails digging into my arms.

He shook his head roughly.

"That's not – I mean – I'm sorry about not calling earlier, I shouldn't have made you wait." Roxas stammered, his eyebrows knitting together, causing creases to form on his pale forehead. He pulled back, staring at me expectantly.

I watched him with narrowed eyes, feeling my nails loosen up on my arms.

"What aren't you telling me?" I demanded; the glare I put up fell away and was replaced with an irritating sense of desperation.

He sighed heavily and shook his head. My throat tightened at his hesitant behavior, and it only served to make my insides quiver in fear. What was it? Why was he acting like this?

I felt a surge of annoyance at my internal questions. Why should I even care how he was acting? It wasn't my problem…

Roxas backed away, until he was leaning against the porch beam. Frustration formed in the pit of my stomach at his unresponsive behavior. I walked out, slamming the door behind me. The chill of the cloudy day hit me and in less than a second, goose bumps erupted on my arms. I let out a little shiver, rubbing my arms hastily.

Roxas studied me carefully, his blue eyes felt like they were x-raying me. I hated the light blush that formed on my cheeks.

_Clear head, Kairi. You're angry remember._

I resumed to my crossed arms position, ignoring the biting chill. Roxas sighed again, before taking off his sweater and handing it to me. I watched the sweater with a scowl.

"I don't want it." I hissed.

"Kairi, just take the sweater." He said wearily, shaking it earnestly.

I felt like slapping him. Right then and there, that tired look he was shooting me. Who the hell did this guy think he was?

"I don't want the stupid sweater!" I snapped. "Stop trying to change the subject. Just tell me why you're here and then _leave_."

Roxas grimaced in my direction, before pulling his sweater back on. He stuffed his hands in his pocket and let out another low sigh. I clenched my teeth, fighting the urge to wrap my arms around myself.

"I've been thinking…" He trailed off, giving me a serious expression. His blue eyes were grave as they stared back at me. They looked hollow, devoid of that passion I was yearning for, despite the furious amount of anger I held towards the blonde at this moment. "About _me and you_."

My stomach flopped again, and I started to really feel sick. The way he said it - almost as if he was guilty. Well he _should_ feel guilty after what he did to me yesterday. I was _hurt_. Other than the fact that it was a major blow to my self esteem, it basically broke the trust I had for him.

"I _looked_," I started slowly, cutting him off. "Like an idiot yesterday -"

"I know, I told you I was sorry about that – "

" - waiting for you like some pathetic, smitten, girl. You could have called. Why didn't you _call_? Why didn't you – you give me some kind of clue?"

He didn't respond, so I continued, feeling my chest burn with anger.

"And now you're telling me that you didn't come because you were too busy _thinking_? What kind of – I mean what is that supposed to mean?"

Roxas opened his mouth then closed it, and repeated the process a couple of times. I watched as he closed it, his lips forming into a tight line. He looked away from me again and looked at the porch swing set, pityingly.

I chewed my lip, glowering at his turned head.

"What's the verdict then?" I asked shakily. He bowed his blonde head.

"I don't know." He admitted. "I know my feelings for you are real." He paused, before glancing back at me. His blue eyes narrowed at me accusingly. "But you? I don't know what you're feeling. I don't know if you're being honest with me, and I don't know if – I mean you've never said _it_ to me and – "

"You're joking right?" I demanded incredulously. His blue eyes turned into a glare.

"_No_, I'm not." He seethed, standing up straight, and turning his body to fully face me. I knew where this was heading. I'd been here way too many times with him. And I wasn't going to back down.

"What makes you think I didn't mean what I said to you before?"

"Uh- I don't know – how about all those hundred times you send mixed signals to me and then run off to Sora." Roxas snapped, clenching his fists at his sides.

I felt my face harden, as I stared at him.

"Right and when has that ever stopped you before?" I scoffed. He blinked rapidly, obviously taken aback. I watched as his pale cheeks reddened slightly. He sputtered and crossed his arms over his chest, looking, yet again, away from me.

"I realized it's time to move on." He mumbled lamely.

"You're lying." I deadpanned. "Why don't you tell me what's really going on?"

"I'm telling you the truth!" He defended.

I shook my head. "If you're going to be like this, then I really don't want to listen to you – "

"Okay fine!" He practically yelled. I raised an eyebrow in his direction skeptically, letting him continue. Roxas met my gaze, letting out a deep breath. "I talked to Aqua – "

"Ugh – "

"- And she, well, she – "

"Manipulated you, yes that's to be expected." I answered flatly, feeling the blood drain out of me. No, actually, the blood _literally_ drained out of me when her name came out of his mouth. I suddenly felt tired and miserable all over again. She _would_ meddle around in my life. Who did she think she was? Honestly, I was – I was there first. Shouldn't I have some kind of unspoken dibs on Roxas?

Great, I was starting to make him sound like a piece of meat.

"She's not like that." He muttered weakly. "I wish you'd stop being mean to her already."

My eyes flickered toward Roxas, who was watching me with a mixture of caution and frustration. _And Roxas! _How could Roxas easily just fall under her charm? I didn't know exactly what to feel at this moment. I was torn between punching him, and pulling him in for a kiss – which was _not_ going to happen.

I blinked, slowly realizing that he was defending her. As soon as the thought processed in my head, I felt the previous anger erupt in my system more strongly than ever.

"You're siding with her!" I cried out. "What did she say to you!"

"She didn't say anything! It was me okay?" He blurted out, taking a threatening step closer to me. His nostrils flared and his eyebrows pulled together dangerously.

A creeping feeling trickled down my body as I felt a sense of déjà vu hit me.

Roxas made another step forward, but stopped, and backed away. I almost expected him to push me against the door. He let out a frustrated groan.

"I'm tired of this Kairi. I don't want to wait for you anymore." He stuttered. "I love you, but – but you've just made things so freaking hard. You don't want me. I know that."

My jaw dropped open. He regarded me patiently before continuing.

"You don't have to pretend to want me anymore, just to please me. I realized that I was probably not taking your feelings into consideration in the past." He said with a pained voice. His lips pulled down into a grimace. "I'm sorry about that. And, as much as it hurts me, I think that it'll just be for the best if we don't continue with this one-sided relationship. You'll be so much happier living your life without me bringing you down. And I'll – I'll learn to be happy, because in the end the only thing that'll make me happy is if you are."

I blinked, standing stock still. I wasn't even aware that my arms were hanging loosely at my sides, or that most of my weight was now being heavily supported by the front door. I turned my gaze away from his face, feeling my eyes prickle. My throat was clogged with a large lump I couldn't swallow.

What was he saying?

His words ran through my head, but I couldn't process them.

"…_best if we don't continue with this one-sided relationship."_

What did that mean?

My surroundings turned blurry and slow. I even felt my movements sluggish. Why did my head hurt all of a sudden?

I heard Roxas's voice, far away and sounding as if he were underwater.

"What?" I mumbled, when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see him staring down at me with a bittersweet smile. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying _goodbye_." He finished.

"Are you," I mumbled, feeling my speech spill out slowly. "Are you breaking up with me?"

"You can't break something that was never there." Roxas answered carefully.

"You're just going to give up?" I half screamed. He visibly paled, and averted his gaze. "On us? On- on me?"

He frowned, and looked away. "Why are we going to pretend that there is something there, when there isn't?"

"How would you know?"

"I know." He pressed.

"I broke up with Sora for you." I protested, feeling the prickling sensation grow. My vision blurred over slightly and I knew I was about to break any second.

"It was going to happen anyway." He retorted sharply. "He wanted Namine from the very beginning."

"I want you – " I started out. The desperation in my voice was almost pathetic.

"You don't know _what_ you want."

My lips trembled as I watched him glare back at me. His icy blue eyes froze over, and I was staring at a hard, protected glacier. This couldn't be happening. How could this even be happening? Everything was supposed to be okay now. Perfect even.

How did it get like this?

"Why are you being so _mean_?" I whispered shakily.

He sighed. "I'm being realistic, okay? I'm just trying to be the better person and look at our outcomes. You say you want me, but I know your heart's not in it."

_My heart's not in it? My heart's not in it?_

Of course my heart was in it. This boy had the power to make me a blubbering mess and a ball of sunshine at the same time. I loved -

It hit me, finally. It hit me like a _giant yellow school bus_. I realized that he _didn't_ believe me. He didn't believe me yesterday and he wasn't believing anything I said now. I wondered if he ever did believe me.

"I'm really sorry Kairi." He whispered.

"I can't believe _you_." I said in a small voice. "After everything – you're just going to do _this_?"

"I know you don't understand where I'm coming from – "

"Yeah, you're right. I _don't_ understand! After all that talk about my being special to you and – "

"You _are_ special to me!"

"-claiming you love me. Did it ever occur to you that I actually love – "

"I do love you – wait what?"

My face boiled furiously under the spotlight. "Nothing!"

"Tell me!" He suddenly broke out – his voice loud and angry. I turned my head and pressed my face against the cold, wooden door. I could feel my hand brushing against the door knob. It was so tempting to just yank it open and run inside. I didn't want him to see me cry. Because I was _not_ crying.

"Damn it Kairi, I'm sorry. Just stop crying please."

"I'm not crying!" I flushed angrily, clutching at the doorknob. I quickly turned my back on him and rubbed at my eyes with my other hand, discreetly. But I still think he might've seen, because I felt a hand on my shoulders again. I shrugged it off immediately.

"Kairi, please."

I sniffed, resting my forehead against the door. I closed my eyes and for a moment pretended that the door was his forehead – for a just a moment. Once I realized where my imagination had I lifted it.

"You promised you wouldn't break my heart."

"I'm keeping it, by doing this." He stated simply.

I shook my head wearily. "You promised." I breathed out.

"Kairi – "

"I don't want to talk to you."

"Kairi I don't want things to be this way."

_You realize _you_ made it this way._

I didn't voice out my thoughts. I felt exhausted and tired in his presence. I didn't want to fight with him anymore and I thought that it would've stopped. I just wanted to go on a stupid date.

"Go home, please." I whispered.

I didn't turn around. But I still felt the creak of the wood, as he stepped back, and down the stairs. With a slightly choked sigh, I threw the door open and shut it behind me. My legs wobbled as I leaned heavily against the door.

I knew it wouldn't last long before my legs gave out. It only took two seconds for it all to happen. And I was curled up, wishing I could just sink into the floor.

My eyes burned angrily – so angry, to the point in which I wasn't sure what was causing my tears: the stinging pain from my eyes, or that – that _ache_, deep in my chest. The low searing twinge stabbed me and felt as if someone was carving my heart out like a pumpkin; it had me holding myself tightly.

My breathing was shallow as I tried to suck in oxygen, Christ, it even hurt to breathe properly.

_What happened – I mean what _really_ just happened?_

I let out a quivering breath, cringing at the bruising feeling building up in my throat.

_What happened?_

I didn't understand. My brain was malfunctioning. The little running Kairi's were in a frenzy trying to find the right files to correspond with this sudden gut wrenching feeling – trying to find the misplaced Roxas file.

_Roxas._

_Roxas._

"I hate him." I mumbled against my knees. It was startling how unrecognizable my voice was. "I hate him. I hate him. I…" I let out an uncharacteristic whimper. "… _love_ him."

There was knocking on the door. I didn't hear it at first, but rather, felt the jolting vibration against my back.

"Kairi. Kairi, are you okay? _Please_ let me in."

Namine.

I felt a tiny twinge of embarrassment upon hearing her voice laced with concern. She didn't need to see me at my worst yesterday, and she certainly did _not_ need to see me now.

_She's your best friend, Kairi._

"I-I'm fine." I choked out, internally reprimanding myself. _Way to make yourself sound convincing._ I sniffed quietly and wiped my eyes.

The other side was quiet. I wondered if she left, but I knew better because then the mail flap opened, and I immediately shifted so that I was looking right into her pale blue eyes.

"Kairi," She whimpered miserably. "Let me in, will you? I need to see you."

I shook my head and looked away. "I don't want you to see me."

I glanced her way quickly to see her eyebrows pulled together. She was hurt, and I felt like the biggest jerk ever.

"Do you want me to leave?" She asked in a small voice. I watched as she slowly backed away from the mail flap, to rise from her crouched position. My chest twisted at the thought of her leaving. And suddenly it was getting harder to breathe.

"No don't. Stay, please." I begged. "Just – "

"It's okay. We can just, talk, through the flap if you want." She said patiently, returning to her position. Her blue eyes squinted until she found me staring back at her. I could see the ends crinkling and I knew she was grinning.

I moved away from the flap, wiping my eyes again, and leaning against the door. I heard Namine shuffling on the other side as she reciprocated.

"What happened?" She questioned.

I felt my face cringe at her frankness. Namine; always to the point.

"He doesn't want me." I said quietly. I knew she knew who I was talking about. Who wouldn't know at this point? I heard her scoff.

"Of course he wants you." She responded incredulously. But then whispered when she added, "He loves you, Kairi."

x.X.x

I couldn't tell you how long we both sat against the door. Namine filled up most of the empty conversation with her encouraging words. By that time, I was feeling okay. Empty, but okay.

I sighed, tilting my head and turning towards the mail flap and then the doorknob.

"Aqua probably had something to do with this." Namine's thoughtful voice broke me from my silence. "That girl has something against you."

"_They_ talked." I simply responded. I heard the loud stomping as I suspected Namine jump from her seat. I felt a pounding on the door.

"That's it!" her voice sounded excited on the other side.

"What?"

"It all makes sense now." Namine spouted, opening the mail flap to make her voice sound less muffled. I turned so that I was staring through the flap as well.

"What?"

"She obviously said something to him, Kairi."

"I figured that. But – but I thought that he was smarter than to listen to her." I mumbled miserably.

"She said all the right things to make Roxas do that to you Kairi. Think about it. If you go talk to her now, and tell her to back off, maybe things between Roxas and you could be – well – _fixed_." I could practically hear the glee in her voice. It gave me a quiver of hope, however, I wasn't that naïve.

"Namine, I'm pretty that's not going to – "

"You totally love him right?" She pressed.

I felt my face flush at her direct question. "I, yes, I suppose – "

"Well then fight for him!"

"Eh?"

"Kairi, she's stealing your guy, and you're just going to sit back and let it all happen?" She stammered impatiently.

I shook my head, my eyes widening at the fire dancing in hers.

"I don't think that's – "

"_Fight for him!"_

I didn't realize I was starting to nod, feeling my chest bubble with… excitement?

"Yeah!" I agreed.

"Show her who's boss."

"Yeah!"

"Who Roxas belongs to!"

"Yeah!"

"Go up to her and tell her off…just don't punch her or anything, okay?" She finished in a soft voice, watching me warily. I closed the flap, reached for the door and yanked it open.

Namine, in all of her blonde glory, stared up at me from her crouched position with a triumphant smile. I lowered myself down, and returned the smile gently, before pulling her into a hug.

"Thank you." I murmured. I felt her hand pat my back comfortingly.

"Go get em' Kairi."

x.X.x

I was bouncing in my step. The pain from before hadn't gone away entirely, it was just dormant. I felt a surge of confidence overflow throughout my body, from my toes to my fingertips. I was warm, and radiant. And I was going to win him back. Aqua wasn't going to stop me.

I knew exactly where she'd be. Where else would she be staying but Xion's house?

I thought of the said girl; Xion. I hadn't seen her since last night. I wondered if she tried talking some sense into Roxas before. I shook my head. I didn't want to think too much into it. I was on a mission right now.

Mission: Destroy Destiny Island's Rusty Aqueducts and Free the Blonde Princess – er Prince.

It took me less than ten minutes to reach Xion's house – maybe because of the fact that I was practically sprinting in anticipation. I bolted up the walkway, and almost ran into the door.

_Stupid._

I shook my head, clearing my fumble for a few seconds before rapping the door. I was almost expecting Xion to answer the door – complications – but to my utter delight, the blue haired bitch was the one behind the wooden barrier.

Her cold blue eyes scanned me up and down before settling on my face with a glare. I felt my blood boil just being in her presence. I hated her. I didn't even know her, and I hated her more than anyone else.

"The midget's not here right now. Please leave a message after the – "

"I'm not here to talk to Xion." I said dangerously low, reciprocating her glare.

Aqua's eyes narrowed, before she flipped a lock of her short blue hair behind her shoulder.

"Well seeing as her parents are not here either I guess you're out of luck, aren't you _Katie_?"

I fumed, my hands at my side curling up into fists. "Don't play dumb, I'm here to talk to you."

Her lips tilted into a smirk, as she regarded me.

"Well, I don't feel like talking to you." She started.

"You're going to hear me." I commanded, stomping my foot. She paused, before letting out a loud laugh.

"You don't tell me what to do, little girl." She sneered, having the decency to prod me in the shoulder. I was about two seconds away from tackling her, but I resisted the urge, focusing on my mission.

"Listen to me- "

She turned abruptly, pulling the door open, and was only a moment away from stepping inside the door.

My hand automatically snatched her thin wrist. Immediately her head snapped in my direction, eyes wild like a hawk zoning in on its prey.

"Let go of me." She said slowly, enunciating each word as if to make her speech more deadly. I wasn't afraid. I wasn't afraid of her.

I didn't _exactly_ let go right away – actually _she_ ripped her wrist from my grasp.

"What did you do?" I snarled, feeling my blood boil staring at her face. Her dark eyebrows were raised doubtfully; they clashed harshly against her bright colored, _fake_ hair.

"What are you talking about, loser?" She snapped angrily, placing her hands on her hips. She leaned back to survey me. I glowered back, my head raised to meet her gaze.

"What did you say to Roxas?" I seethed. I could feel my teeth gritting against each other as I noticed her lips quirk upward into a smirk. My eyes narrowed, and I knew I was sending off hatred waves towards her because in less than a second her smirk grew. Pretty soon, that smirk morphed into a wide grin.

Her blue eyes danced with this maliciousness I knew I could never achieve. That only seemed to spur on my deep, growing resentment. I really hated this girl.

"Oh, so he's finally confronted you, has he?" She questioned, removing her hands from her hips to cross over her chest.

I stomped my foot, and let out an unintentional growl.

"Don't play your little games with me!" I barked.

"Listen_ carrot top_, the only one playing games here is you." Aqua retorted. Her eyebrow cocked upward again. I hated that stupid skeptical expression. Who did she think she was – looking all skeptical and stuff?

I could feel my right hand curl into a tight fist. I really wanted to punch her, wipe that stupid smirk off of her pretty face.

"What are you talking about?" I growled. "Everything was fine until you showed up. "

"Right." She deadpanned. Her indifference only seemed to make me even more furious.

"Right! You think you're so great and cool, strutting up here and stealing Roxas away."

Her lips stretched into another smile – a knowing one. "Please, little girl, I didn't steal anything away from you. You're the one that pushed him to me."

I opened my mouth to protest, but she took a step closer to me. I felt my voice die out in my throat.

"You think you know everything don't you?" She whispered her face only a few inches away from mine. "You think that no one understands you. But I do. I know exactly what you are – I've dealt with people like you. You're so scared of the fact that someone wants to be with you, that you'll do anything, _everything_ to deny them and your feelings. Deny. Deny. Deny, that's all you're good for, right _Kairi_?"

She let out a humorless laugh, shaking her head back and forth. Her blue eyes glinted with anger.

"Roxas loves you now. He'll follow you, and you'll deny your feelings. He'll try to move on, but you'll still have him hanging by a thread. And when you start feeling guilty, you'll allow him some sort of pleasure with false hope, before pushing him away again. And the process repeats itself for a little while – you're shoving becomes worse and worse."

She paused, zoning out thoughtfully, her blue eyes focusing a few inches to the right of my head. I caught her lips quiver slightly, pulling down a fraction. Her eyes fluttered for a second, before glowering back at me.

I blinked, feeling my lips tremble. My whole body began to shake at her words. I took a step back, trying to regain some control without her noticing, but she simply took a step closer to me.

"Do you want to hear what happens next?" Aqua asked softly, I couldn't hear any of the malice in her tone.

My throat felt dry and raw. I tried to speak, tell her to shut up and back off. But I couldn't find my voice. It was like it was sucked out of me – total Ursula style.

"He realizes what a complete and utter bitch you are, and summons up enough decency to forget you. You'll be nothing but a distant, unimportant memory – forgettable, really." She continued in that quiet voice. I was starting to become dizzy, and didn't all together realize how her expression shifted. I only caught snippets of something other than that stupid superiority expression and anger on her face. If there was one way to explain it, she had some sort of nostalgic look about her.

"That's – that's not true." I defended, feeling my voice give out weakly. "He won't give up on me."

She wasn't looking at me anymore. Her head was turned slightly so that it looked like she was staring past the walkway, and even farther than the sidewalk. Aqua shook her head again, her short blue hair whipping gently.

"What happened today then?" She remarked, still staring blankly at the door.

"That was – I mean those were just words. I know he doesn't really mean them." I muttered nervously.

"You're lying."

"He loves me." I snapped. "And I – I – "

"Can't admit it, can you?" She asked, only causing aggravation to bubble in my stomach.

"Shut up!" I snarled, averting my eyes from her turned face.

"Don't you think you owe Roxas the chance to be happy? After everything you've put him through?"

I could feel my eyes sting, and my vision blurred slightly. Unwanted tears – unnecessary tears.

"He- he loves _me_." I stammered, blinking the moisture brimming around my eyes angrily.

"Now, he does. He can't keep waiting for you. You need to let him go." She said.

"What?"

"Let him go."

I paused for a minute, staring down at the space between us. The corny _welcome home_ mat laying in my line of sight.

_Let him go?_

_He loves me. Why would I do that? He loves me, so he should be happy with me, right? And I? I love him? I do. I really do, right? I mean, I love him right? _

I opened my mouth as an attempt to voice out my thoughts – my feelings. But my words, once again, got caught in my throat. I couldn't. I couldn't just say it, it sounded weird in my head. So why on earth would it sound right coming out of my actual mouth?

I felt a surge of frustration at my inability to speak. Why couldn't I say it? Roxas said it a bunch of times, and every time I attempted the phrase, I always got tongue tied. I glanced up to find Aqua staring at me intently. There was no smug expression on her face. She looked – well – she looked completely serious.

This was her fault. Why did she have to come barging into our lives and make everything so complicated?

"What do you know!" I demanded, watching as she visibly recoiled. "You're just – you're just a bitch. I don't like you. No one even likes you, did you know that? Why don't you just go back where you came from?"

It sounded harsh, even to my own ears. And for one split second I wished I hadn't said a thing, because her expression fell immediately. Her blue eyes widened, and her mouth fell open, her eyebrows knitted together. And in that one second she looked completely hurt. It was only brief, because the moment I blinked, her face was composed. She looked angry. And bitchy again.

"Tell me something I don't know." She scoffed. She flipped her hair behind her shoulder, and sharply turned away. Her hand reached for the doorknob, and she swung it open farther.

I watched as she put a foot inside and paused. She looked over her shoulder, her expression remote.

"Stay away from Roxas." And with that, she walked inside, slamming the door behind her.

I blinked; aftershocks of anger coming and going like waves.

For the first time I actually considered her warning.

Maybe I should just _let him go_. All I ever did to him was make him miserable. How can you still even _like_ a person for that?

He doesn't deserve me. He deserved someone better. Someone who could actually return his feelings wholeheartedly, without being such a scared baby.

I turned, and walked down the pathway towards the sidewalk. I rubbed my eyes angrily, wiping the excess wetness building and spilling over my cheeks.

How could I even consider myself a possibility for Roxas?

_I-I love him. So why isn't it enough?_

I sniffled, rubbing my arms against each other. My head tilted upward to the sky, only to feel the light peck of a drizzle beginning. Rain. Never had I ever been so indifferent towards it, until now. I couldn't even really feel the rain picking up as the drizzle turned from light drips to fat drops.

My chest constricted painfully. I tried to suck in a deep breath, but it only resulted in a half hiccup, half wheeze. I was only half aware of the fact that I was slowly become drenched. I could feel my hair sticking to my face.

I didn't care. I didn't even want to go home. All I wanted was –

My chest twisted again. It felt like my lungs were rolled and coiled tightly, restricting access to oxygen.

It had to stop – this cat and mouse relationship. Roxas was moving on, whether I liked it or not.

And I realized I had to move on too.

x.X.x

**No hating! I'm too young to hate! DX**

**Anyway, I want to say I'll update this weekend...but idk. _ (Queen of procrastination) **

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!  
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	41. Chapter 40

**Well this chapter has been utterly delayed. I suck. Yes, I give you all permission to say you, ACCIDENT-PRONE KLUTZ, suck. Go ahead. I'll bow my head in shame as you throw eggs or various other slimy things at me. I'm sorry. I honestly wanted to finish this story before my birthday... but that didn't happen. And then I had this stupid thesis paper to do -shot- **

**I've just been really uninspired lately. I want this story to be finished and done with... bleh.**

**Anyway, there's a lot of shenanigans going on in this chapter. I mean a lot. It's like boom, boom, boom. And tons and tons of Roxiri-ness, plus angst, plus hormonal Kairi. Eh, you'll find out. This took forever to write. I had like the end done, but the beginning took forever to be written. Um, what else?**

**Random unimportant facts about the author:**

**-So I turned seventeen at the beginning of the month, and ...fuck, I feel old -_-'.**

-**Glee tour was at the Staple's center today- or last night I should say - and I'm so pissed I didn't get tickets. UGH.**

**-I was listening to "Rolling in the Deep" by Adele while writing this chapter... so all that emotional crap should be fun.**

-**I've recently developed an obsession with Dianna Agron (my future wife, well if Lea Michele doesn't snag her first)... she's like an angel that fell from heaven... **

**Er, yeah, so let's get back with the story. I don't own KH blah blah.**

** I present chapter 40 yada yada yada, enjoy ;)  
**

**Chapter 40:**

x.X.x

I reached the house in a sort of blubbering mess. I saw my mother's car in the drive way and I could already feel a sense of dread building up in the pit of my stomach. What I wouldn't have gave to walk through the door to an empty house. What would my mother say when she saw me like this?

I didn't give that question too much thought. Maybe it was because my head just felt like it was hit over with a wooden baseball bat.

I gripped the sides of my sweater, wringing it. The water mixed in with the raindrops. What am I supposed to do now?

My feet mechanically climbed the steps to the porch. I felt my eyes sting as I paused at the door. The same exact spot I was – rejected.

I could hear Aqua's sickly sweet voice ringing in my head.

Let him go.

Let him go.

Let him go.

"Kairi, there you are. Namine here told me you went to Xion's house – holy cow, you're _drenched_!" Someone's voice said, once I opened the front door. I didn't even lift my head as I brushed past the source of the voice.

A hand clamped over my wrist as I put my foot on the first step of stairs. The hand tightened its grip and whirled me around. I came face to face with a worried looking blonde. I felt my heart jump at the flash of blonde. But under more scrutiny I realized it was the _wrong_ shade of blonde.

Namine stared at me, her eyes darting between mine; concern was evident in her blue orbs. I wanted to look away. I didn't know why I felt suddenly ashamed to be under her gaze. She had nothing to do with my problems with _him_.

"Are you feeling – I mean are you okay?" She asked quickly, wincing at the stupidity of her question.

I sighed, and turned away.

"Kairi what is it?" The voice I heard initially asked. My head lifted and I met another pair of worried blue eyes.

"Sora, I think you'd better leave." Namine answered for me, turning around and pushing the brunette towards the door. He put his hands on her shoulder to stop her from shoving him.

"I'm her friend too Namine." He said coldly. "I think I kind of have a right to be here for her."

I caught Namine regard him with a raised brow. Her lips curling into a scowl, before she shook her head. "No, go home."

"You're the one who called me –" He started.

"I was worried about Kairi. I didn't call you out of my own personal satisfaction." She snapped. "Now if you don't mind, Kairi is – "

Sora completely ignored her, walking around the blonde, and towards me. His brown eyebrows furrowed in that adorable pout I used to be so infatuated with. He moved his hands so that they were resting on my shoulders.

"It's going to be fine." He said simply. I felt my lips tremble as I stared back up. His tanned face looked so reassuring – so safe. Sora's lips quirked into a small half smile that reminded me so much of –

I bowed my head and it hit his chest. I think he took that as a cue to give me a hug because the next thing I knew I was in his arm, sobbing. I felt his hand pet my hair and if I were in a different situation I would have teased him about his awkward methods of comforting people.

"It's okay." He whispered in my hair.

x.X.x

I sniffled and curled up into a ball on my bed. Sora sat down on the edge and looked at me patiently. After about a half an hour of making a fool out of myself, it was a unanimous vote that I take a warm shower and get into bed and rest. Sora had volunteered to help me, much to my disdain, and Namine's annoyance. I felt bad. As much as I didn't want Sora here, I _did_ want him here.

Despite all the drama that happened between us, he still was the Visine to my life's surreal blur. He was as close to me now, as Namine once was. And I had a slight inkling that was why she was so irked by his presence, along with the fact that their relationship was over going its own complications.

Speaking of whom, Namine stepped out to call up Xion, leaving Sora alone with me. I could tell how much she wanted to drag me out of the room with her, but I kind of begged her to call Xion. I hadn't heard from her since the day before.

I caught Sora staring at the door with a frown, his hands clenched and unclenched at his sides. I saw the brief flickers of annoyance and disappointment in his cerulean eyes. He let out a slight sigh, before turning his attention to me. I felt an eyebrow rise in suspicion.

"_What_?" He probed nervously, while his dark brown eyebrows shot up. Under closer scrutiny, I could detect the light patches of crimson forming along his round face.

"Why don't you just talk to her?" It surprised me how hoarse my voice sounded. And I wrinkled my nose, sheepishly upon hearing it. I had forgotten I hadn't really spoken, considering all the sobbing I was doing.

His eyebrows immediately relaxed, and knitted together. An uncharacteristic crease formed on his forehead. His frown deepened, as he shook his head mechanically.

"I try." He said softly. "I don't know what to say."

I nodded my head, and curled up into a tighter ball. I didn't want to get into it. How could I give him advice when my own pathetic love life was spiraling downwards?

"I just – I really like her Kairi." He mumbled sullenly. "No I- I love her and she won't give me a chance."

I watched him mutely. His eyebrows furrowed deeper as he continued.

"I feel like everything I do pushes her away from me." He said, before turning to look down at me. "I'm- I'm tired of playing this game."

My eyes narrowed upon hearing his last statement. Those words just sent a bad chill down my spine. And for one brief second Roxas was sitting here confessing all of this to me. Sora – he was just another Roxas. Another person convinced that their feelings could never be requited.

I felt my stomach twist uncomfortably. My chest flared with this sudden anger.

_How – how dare they feel that way! They're not the only ones that feel that way. How can they be so – so selfish?_

I opened my mouth to voice out my thoughts but Sora's sad little smile stopped me in my tracks. Of course. It made sense. The both of us – Namine and I – brought this upon ourselves. I felt a wave a self-loathing hit me hard.

I was really disgusted with myself. How could I just go about acting like a huge mope? I didn't have a right. Not really.

But shoot, it hurt like hell.

I was letting him go. And I was – I was freaking martyr for doing that. He didn't need me. Roxas deserved someone so much better. Someone like Xion. I felt my chest twist painfully at that thought. They were the perfect match made in heaven. She could get rid of her stupid, abusive ex-boyfriend for good. And Roxas? He could get over his stupid crush for good.

_It's just a crush._

That's all I ever was to him.

"So are you going to tell me what happened to Roxiri?" Sora asked suddenly, breaking me from my internal ramble. He looked at me curiously, removing his shoes and crossing his legs on my bed. I winced, and turned my head away. "Sorry, being insensitive again right?"

"It's okay." I mumbled, regarding him with a stony gaze. He wrinkled his nose, and lifted a hand to run through his spiky hair awkwardly.

"Do you… wanna talk about it?" He said, grinning pathetically.

"Not really." I admitted, pulling my legs closer to my chest. His blue eyes were downcast as he turned away from me, patting his thighs nervously. "But, I probably should let you know, Roxiri has been annihilated."

Sora's head whipped back to meet my gaze. His tanned face looked troubled, and his hair did that whole droopy thing whenever he was upset.

"Don't say that." He scolded gently.

"It's true." I corrected, moving to sit up from my position. "He – he doesn't – we're not – " I struggled with my words. What exactly was I trying to say? We're not – what _were_ we? "It's complicated." I finished lamely, bringing a hand up to my face to rub my forehead.

His eyes narrowed, and he quirked his lips. "Tell me."

I hesitated.

"It's over Sora." I whispered. "I'm moving on."

"But you can't!" He blurted out, jumping up from his seat. His eyes were suddenly wild. I sat up abruptly, glaring at him with alarm.

"I can – I mean I already decided."

"Kairi he's like, a wreck without you." He protested, waving his hands in the air. I would have laughed at his weird gesture, but my face felt permanently stuck in a frown.

"I've already decided." I repeated.

"You can't just give up – "

"Sora – "

"-because, then what would that mean for me? Huh?" He asked desperately. "If Roxas can't get the girl he wants than what does that say about me?"

I gaped at him for a whole minute, my mouth opening than closing. Blinking rapidly, I focused and shot him a hard glare.

"Sora, our situations are entirely different." I shot back, feeling an unusual lump in my throat.

"Yeah, and Santa Claus exists!" He retorted sarcastically. My face flushed angrily, and I sprang from my seat.

"Are you implying something?" I demanded, my hands curling up into tight fists. Sora scoffed, rolling his blue eyes, before crossing them over his chest.

"Yeah, you're a liar!" He snapped. "If you have enough decency to give up on Roxas, then I'm pretty sure Namine will do the same to me."

"That doesn't even make any sense-"

"Because she's been doing an awfully good job following your example of running away from her problems."

"I-I don't run away from my problems! And Namine's acting incredibly stupid for avoiding you. It's not like I'm feeding her information and telling her what do to!"

Sora opened his mouth to argue, but was cut off, when the bedroom door gently opened. My heart literally sank through my stomach, when I saw Namine walk slowly into the room with her head slightly bowed.

Her eyebrows were pulled together, and her lips were trembling into a deep frown.

"Namine, I …" I felt the words die in my throat as she lifted her head. Her blue eyes were averted, neither looking at me or Sora. She sucked in a deep breath.

"Your mom is finished with dinner, Kairi." She said with a shaky voice. "And Xion said she'd be here in about an hour – she's busy with _something_."

She stood there awkwardly, playing with the hem of her shirt, refusing to stare at either of us. Sora fidgeted next to me, and I glanced quickly in his direction.

"Namine, were you – did you listen to what…" Sora trailed off, reaching to rub the back of his head.

She blinked rapidly, eyes darting around the room until they landed on the ceiling.

"I'd appreciate it if the next time either one of you has a problem with… my behavior, you'd have enough decency to actually talk to me instead of behind my back." She muttered softly.

"I'm sorry." I blurted out, feeling my face flush with embarrassment and shame. She shrugged a shoulder.

"It's okay, Kairi."

"I'm sorry too." Sora added. Namine dropped her gaze of the ceiling and it landed on Sora. Her blue eyes narrowed into a hard glare, before she swiftly turned on her heel, and walked out the door. Neither of us missed the way she slammed it.

Sora let out a deep sigh, and threw his head back, staring at the ceiling.

"Oh god, I'm done for."

I glanced at him, and despite our argument I felt a little sympathetic for the boy. But it still didn't change my decision.

x.X.x

Dinner was awkward – extremely awkward. Especially when you yourself felt miserable, had an overenthusiastic mother, a guilty ex-boyfriend, and a best friend who refused to stare at anything besides the food in front of her. I didn't exactly blame Namine for this particular behavior. She did try to leave after she confronted us in my room. But my mother sort of begged for her to stay. My mom had the worst timing.

"So, how's school?" She asked through a mouthful of lasagna. I sighed, and stared down at my plate, poking with my food.

"We're on _break_, Mom." I snapped, stabbing the pile of melted cheese.

I could feel the pout on her face, boring at me.

"Yeah I knew that." She huffed. "So what are your plans for tonight? There's a Redbox down the street by the store; I could get a movie, and I think there's still popcorn in the cupboard. We could have a little movie night – "

"Mom!" I yelled, slamming my fork on the table. Sora jumped in his seat and Namine finally looked up from her food, looking politely confused."We are not having a movie night."

"Actually, I kind of should be going home." Sora said in a small voice.

"Me too." Namine added, looking back down at her food glumly.

"Oh come on, it's raining! You both can't possibly be out walking in this weather; I'll drive you both home once the movie's over."

"I live next door." Namine murmured pointedly, lifting her head to stare at my mother then myself.

"Your parents aren't home." My mom countered. Namine blanched, glaring back down at her food. My mom turned to look at Sora. "And what excuse do you have?"

"I walked here earlier, really, it's okay –" He started, but my mom waved a hand dismissively.

"No, no, no." She argued, heaving herself from her seat and grabbing her plate. "I'm going to go get the movie. Kairi, don't let either of these two leave. We _are_ watching that movie."

x.X.x

I didn't understand what possessed my mother to have this sudden urge to hang out with my friends. It was weird and out of character. And I knew that both of my _friends_, didn't want to be here at all. I could tell by their uncomfortable expressions as they sat on both ends of the couch.

I sighed, leaning against the arm of the couch on Namine's side.

"You guys can leave." I muttered.

"But your mom is making us watch that movie." Sora countered.

"Yeah, well, don't listen to her. I don't." I replied.

"I think we should stay." Namine said quietly, hands firmly clenched on her lap. "She looks like she can use the company."

I stared down at the blonde, who gazed at the t.v thoughtfully. And for another moment I felt the guilt swallow me at how much of a sucky best friend I was being. She cared. She cared for my mom because of me.

I hated myself for not giving Namine enough credit – because she _was_ observant. So uncannily observant that sometimes I forgot the time I used to accuse her of not paying attention.

My eyes flickered towards Sora who was gazing at the blonde with admiration. Such fuzzy admiration that I almost felt sick. My throat clogged up, and I began to feel my eyes prickle with that familiar sting. I coughed uncomfortably, and pushed myself away from the couch.

"I'll go make popcorn." I said, suddenly feeling indecent being around the two of them. Sora opened his mouth, but I cut him off. "No, do you remember the last time you tried to make popcorn?"

He deflated and shot me a scowl. "Fine."

x.X.x

I watched as the flat bag spun around in the heated microwave. The occasional popping sounds filled the quiet kitchen. What am I doing?

Trying to play matchmaker?

I wanted them to leave, just so I could have wallowed away in my misery in peace. But I didn't want that to happen, because it was pathetic. And I shouldn't have been crying over –

The microwave beeped, and I sighed, grabbing a bowl, and pulling out the steaming bag. Shaking the bag, I stared blankly at the kitchen table. I felt – weird.

My stomach churned nervously, as my gaze hardened over the table. This was the same exact spot Sora and I talked during our winter formal, and Namine was in trouble. This was the same exact spot I waited for Roxas, and he dumped me. Why did I get the feeling that being in this kitchen was becoming sort of a pattern?

The sudden crackle of thunder broke me from my thoughts. I shook my head, and poured the popcorn into the bowl.

Great more thunder. I grumbled making my way back towards the living room.

"I don't want to talk about this." Namine's voice stopped me in my tracks. I could hear the anger in her voice. I almost felt like walking in just to stop the possibility of a future argument.

"Please, I'm – I'm trying, Namine." Sora's voice sounded sad and angry all rolled into one.

"What do you want me to say to that?"

"The truth." Sora answered simply.

It was quiet for a few seconds; I was holding my breath, clutching the popcorn bowl close to my chest.

"I-I can't, Kairi's – "

"Stop making it about Kairi because we both know this isn't about her. This is about you and me."

I risked a chance at staring at them. I peeked around the door way getting a clear view of the back of Namine's head. I saw Sora staring at her with a frustrated expression. I whirled back around the wall, thankful that he was too focused on her to notice me.

I sucked in a deep breath before straining my ears to listen.

"I'm not – it's just…" I could feel the shakiness in her voice, even with the separating the rooms. "I'm terrified, Sora."

"What?"

"Terrified of – of giving myself to you. Wearing my heart on my sleeve, or however that saying goes." Namine sniffed out. I knew she was crying by now. I could already see her wiping her face angrily.

"Namine, I'm not going to –"

"I know, I know." She hushed him up quickly. "I get that that you won't intentionally hurt me – "

"I'd never hurt you."

"I know." She repeated.

"Then why are you saying that? Is this why you won't – why you're pushing me away? You think I'm going to hurt you?"

"It's not that. I mean, not entirely." She sighed. "You just don't understand."

"Then help me to." He demanded.

"I'm not like how I used to be." She confessed, in a whisper, I literally pressed my ear closer to the doorway.

"You look fine-"

"No, Sora." She snapped, raising her voice. "Just stop and listen."

"Okay. Fine."

I heard Namine sniffle a few times, before continuing.

"I'm not the same person anymore. I'm not the girl you want me to be, Sora. And don't look at me like that because I know it, I _feel_ it. Sometimes you look at me like you can't believe I just did something or said something. Like you're almost ashamed."

"Namine – "

"I-I feel like some kind of toy that was abandoned in a sandbox. I'm not – new anymore Sora. You have to understand that. I feel like I've been cheated out of something important. Something so important to _me_ and I can't get it back because the damage is done. The worst part of it all is that I can't blame anyone but myself for this."

She hiccupped for a second. Sora knew not to interrupt again. But I could picture his determined expression.

"And then there's you, and your claim of not giving up. I don't want you to, but I do at the same time. I'm miserable and angry at myself because I have these feelings, feelings for you that I know I shouldn't act on. And I don't want to- to just give you my heart and expect you to fix it. Because you don't deserve that. You don't deserve a used toy."

Her voice was breaking by this point.

"I love you, Sora, but I don't want to love you. Understand that please." She finished. "And I swear I'll do anything to push away these feelings."

"I don't understand," Sora finally said, after a few silent seconds. "How you can think so little of me?"

"Sora, just don't – "

"No! Used or new, you'll always be the same _Namine_ to me. Just Namine. _You_ understand that!" Sora said with a fiery tone in his voice.

I sighed, slightly, before putting the bowl back on counter and quietly making my way towards the stairs. I didn't want to interrupt or eavesdrop on their _conversation_ anymore.

Admittedly, it was rather fascinating listening to them slowly confess their feelings. I was envious. But not because I wished that I was with Sora. I just wish I could have been like them with-

I sighed roughly and raked a hand through my hair. No. That boat already sailed. I wasn't going to hope for that anymore.

He was going to find a different girl, one that was going to treat him right. Hopefully. I didn't want to think any blasphemous thoughts or hope that his and his future girlfriend's relationship didn't work out.

x.X.x

I gave them another ten minutes of privacy. I carefully walked down the stairs pausing at the entrance of the living room. The sight nearly knocked the breath out of my lungs.

Sora was sitting back, his hands lightly stroking the blonde locks splayed across his lap. Namine was fast asleep, one of hands clenched near her lips and the other curled loosely around Sora's. Sora smiled softly down at the sleeping blonde, and I coughed breaking his gaze from her. His eyes widened, and a slight blush crept on his cheeks.

"Eh, Kairi, it's not… I mean –"

"Forgot I was here huh?" I teased with a slight smile. Sora's embarrassed expression fell away.

"She just – ah – fell asleep." He admitted, pulling his hand away from her hair. She let out a soft groan, before yawning, visibly relaxing when Sora's hand returned its previous position. I looked down at the blonde, taking in the soft smile plastered across her lips as well.

"She must've been really tired." I whispered softly, my gaze never leaving Namine's face.

"Yeah." Sora agreed.

I felt knots in my stomach, and suddenly the room was starting to spin. I needed to get out of here. As if someone up in the heavens heard my prayers, the doorbell rang. Or at least it rang over and over again. I blinked shocked.

Why would my mom ring the doorbell? Honestly this woman was crazy.

The ringing stopped and there was soon pounding on the door. It woke Namine up immediately. She sprang up like a frightened cat, staring around the room wearily.

"What's going on?" She sputtered out crazily.

"The door, I'll get it." I said hurriedly, running towards the door. I peeked through the hole, and practically opened the door in the next second.

Xion, completely trenched, pushed past me, almost knocking me off my feet.

"Xion, what the hell?" I demanded. She whipped her head to look at me, her eyes crazed. It was like she was looking at me, but not really _seeing_ me.

"Kairi, who's there?" I heard Namine call, before she came to the door. "Xion! Why are you-"

"Please! I-I need help. You have to help me!" She cried out.

"Xion, what is it?" Sora asked, concern dripping from his voice. Her eyes darted between all three of us.

"Riku – mad- I didn't mean to – I just – and I just wanted to – I don't know what to do!" She rambled running her hands through her dark hair.

"Xion what are you talking about?" Sora demanded.

"He's gone! Riku just up and left. And – and I'm worried – I mean he was just so mad." She stammered. You guys have to help me look for him!"

I felt Namine tense up at my side. I automatically reached backward and clutched her hand.

"I-I don't know, maybe he might just turn up?" Namine said in a small voice.

"No he's – this is different. Something's going to happen if we don't find him. Please, just trust me." She begged. Sora sighed beside me, and ran a hand through his hair.

"I'll get my jacket." He mumbled. "You two stay here." He added, taking his raincoat off the hook. He draped it around himself and put the hood on. Xion let out a small sigh of relief, before opening the front door and bustling outside.

"Hey, Xion wait!" He called, following her outside.

"Sora!" Namine blurted out, startling both of us. He stopped mid step and looked over his shoulder at the blonde. She hurriedly grabbed her coat and stuffed it on. "I'm going with you."

x.X.x

I was left alone. Except when my mother joined me, looking completely confused at the sight of an empty house. She grumbled the whole time, saying I always spoiled her fun. Whatever. She also left me alone after complaining that my presence was draining her Chi. Whatever that meant.

I sat on the living room couch watching the movie my mother had brought. Some random romantic comedy. I was doing fine getting distracted until the future love interest of the main character came out. He just had to be blonde.

I groaned out loud before flicking it off, leaving myself staring at a blank t.v. screen.

I didn't know what to do with myself. I couldn't just sit here. If I sat here, I'd start thinking, and when I started thinking, my thoughts always ended up to blue eyes, blonde hair, pale skin…

I swallowed down a large lump - I didn't realize was forming - in my throat.

I needed to stop thinking, I thought, ironically. I was convinced I needed sleep. Just as I thought someone up there was looking after me, there was someone else cursing me, because as soon as I rose from my seat the doorbell rang again.

I paused, shaking my head. It might've been Namine and Sora. I walked towards the door, reaching up to peek through the door hole, only to fall away.

I blinked, staring at the door with wide eyes. The doorbell rang again.

I felt the knot in my throat form again. Panic started to flood my body system. What do I do? What do I do? I rubbed my eyes quickly and reached up to flatten my messy hair. I couldn't open the door. I couldn't just open the door and face him –

The doorknob turned and I mentally scolded myself for not locking it. My hand reflexively clamped over the knob holding it in place.

"Kairi." His muffled voice called from the other side. I could feel my heart pick up its pace as I tried to swallow back the sudden urge to burst into tears.

Let him go.

Let him go.

Let him go.

I leaned my head back, sucked in a deep breath, and opened the door.

Roxas gazed down at me, looking disheveled and out of breath. He let out a loud sigh and brought a hand to his face. Wiping angrily at his eyes. I blinked watching as he pushed his wet blonde hair back, only for it to spring back into that windblown position.

Was I dreaming? Was this- this real?

_I'm dreaming. I'm dreaming. This can't be real. Nothing I ever want is real._

I felt my arms outstretch towards him, my fingertips brushing against his soaked clothes. My hands curled against the collar of his jacket, before moving against his smooth warm neck. It was freezing cold outside and yet he still managed to stay warm.

_This is a dream Kairi; of course weird things like this happen._

His eyes closed briefly at the touch before widening, boring into mine with admiration and that passion I was craving.

Oh god, this was such a good dream. I felt myself unconsciously lick my lips, before leaning forward and capturing his.

Fireworks. No not fireworks, a whole Fourth of July palooza erupted in my belly. My hands moved from his neck to tangle into his wild blonde hair. It felt so real, so good. Best. Dream. Ever.

My lips parted against his, and I felt a groan erupt from my mouth. His teeth nibbled on my bottom lip and oh my, was that his tongue? I never thought I could imagine something like this in a dream. I was in winterfresh wonderland and I sure as hell wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon. His hands roamed around the small of my back, moving up and down, then lower and lower. I crushed myself against him, holding on tighter.

His mouth pulled away, trailing kisses along my jaw, and then down my neck. His teeth occasionally nipping my skin. His hands moved lower, sliding easily into the back of my jean pockets.

This whole situation felt so – not innocent anymore. And I freaking loved it. I was relishing in it. This sudden heart racing feeling. The nervous tremors spinning across my lower stomach.

I tilted my head back, until it hit the front door, clutching his hair and bringing him closer to me.

"I don't want to wake up." I breathed out. He hesitated in his ministrations, making let out a frustrated groan. His hands pulled out of my pockets and, he gently removed my hands from his hair.

"Wake up?" He whispered confused, his warm breath bit my lips teasingly. I leaned in drunkenly only for him to pull back.

"_Don't_." I whined irritably.

"What do you mean wake up?" He pressed, his features still puzzled. It took a moment for me to compose myself and when I did I shot him a scowl.

"Why are you stopping? I don't know when I'm going to wake up. It's all going to be over." I snapped.

"Kairi, you _are_ awake." He said slowly. His blue eyes widening.

"I'm dreaming." I retorted.

Roxas blinked at me, before backing away with a sigh. He stopped leaning against the porch beam, gazing at me with what looked like amazement.

"I came here to try to talk to you, and you just sort…well.. " he trailed off, his face turning slightly crimson. I watched him for a minute, watched him cough uncomfortably, and look anywhere but me. Slowly, I started to feel heat creep up my neck.

And the realization hit me so hard I felt like fainting. I just attacked real Roxas, not dream Roxas. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god.

I felt myself cling to the door behind me, putting as much distance from myself and the embarrassed looking blonde.

"Oh god!" I blurted out, burying my face in my hands. "I'm sorry."

"No, no it's okay; I mean I kind of enjoyed it… a lot." He mumbled sheepishly.

"It won't happen again." I said, lifting my head to give him a determined look. Roxas sobered up immediately and shot me a pained expression.

"Actually, this was what I came here to talk to you about." He said quietly, fiddling with his fingers.

"I don't understand." I admitted warily, feeling myself put my walls up. I didn't easily forget the other meeting with Roxas.

"I've been thinking, again, and I just… I mean I acted like a jerk before. I didn't mean to hurt you, because in the end I just hurt myself in the process."

"What are you saying?"

"Kairi, I-I," He blinked, his eyebrows pulled together roughly causing a crease to form. "I want to- to try this out. I mean I _want_ be with you."

I caught my mouth hanging open slightly. I tried to speak but my voice didn't seem to want to function at this moment. He was staring at me, waiting for a response that I couldn't give. After a few silent seconds he spoke up again.

"I know that you've been hurt and that I was probably the reason it happened but," He paused looking down at his soaked shoes. "But I just want you to know that that won't ever happen again. I love you." He reached out and grabbed my hand. Despite the warmth of his hand, I felt an icy shiver chill throughout my body. Not the good chill either.

My mouth was pressed into a hard line, and my eyes were glued to the floor. I refused to look at his pleading eyes. I knew what I'd see there, and I knew how it would affect my answer. I couldn't say yes, I just couldn't.

"Kairi," He whispered, his voice shaking, more like breaking. "Please… say something." He took a step closer to me, putting his other hand underneath my chin, lifting my head to look at him. His eyes were watery; it could have been all the rain. My body shivered under his touch. "Talk to me please."

My lips trembled as I tried to hold down the urge to cry. I roughly pulled away from his hands, to look away. "Go home, Roxas." I said in a hollow breath. I could have almost pictured his face, which only made me even more miserable.

"Kairi-"

"I said go home Roxas!" I shouted, shutting my eyes and shoving him off the porch. He stumbled backwards a bit, but regained his posture. The rain hit him, and for a brief second I almost pulled him back on the porch.

"But Kairi, please just listen-"

"No, you listen! I already told you I don't love you, so just leave me alone damn it!" I screamed. The rain was pouring down harder than before drowning out our voices.

"Why – why were you so desperate to make us work before then? I thought you wanted –"

"You thought wrong." I snapped back, feeling the taste of the bitter lie on my tongue. I hated this.

"Then why'd you just kiss me?" He pressed. My face heated up considerably even in the cold weather. I opened up my eyes to glare at him. He was wearing a little smirk that made me even angrier.

"What makes you think we'll work huh?" I demanded, completely ignoring his question. "We just keep playing this stupid game of tag. Aren't you sick of it?"

"Stop playing then." He said simply. I scoffed, throwing my hands in the air.

"I am stopping. This is over." I snapped.

"I don't believe that," he murmured, making me smack my forehead in irritation. "I know that you love me back."

"You're such an idiot. You do know that you've just contradicted what you said to me before?" I snapped. He shook his head, causing water to spray on me from his wet hair.

"I didn't mean it. I don't want give up on you. I want you to be with me because you love _me_. And I know you do." Roxas bit back, his face turned absolutely serious.

"I don't love you, ok? I will _never_ love you!" I stomped a step closer to him, so that I was on the first step of the porch, the rain sprayed my face slightly. "So stop trying to throw yourself on me, it's annoying! It's never going to happen Roxas." I opened my mouth to continue but out of nowhere his arm grabbed me around my waist and pulled me out into the rain with him. His expression fierce, with a familiar emotion I've seen before.

"So you mean to tell me, that this is annoying to you?" He questioned. My face burned with embarrassment. Because I hated this hold he had over me. Because I hated how much I loved this. I was drenched in a couple of seconds.

"Let go of – " I never got to finish my insult because I was suddenly cut off by his lips which forced themselves upon mine, working around them roughly. His kiss was urgent, like a stolen type of kiss, one of the same nature I attacked him with earlier. I stood there trying to fight him off, but only causing his grip to tighten. His lips barged through my mouth, tongue grazing mine, and my teeth.

Let him go

Let him go

Keep him.

Take him.

My mind was in a huge lust filled blur that I couldn't even finish my thoughts. The next thing I knew I had my body pressed up against his, my arms wrapped around his neck, and my mouth completely glued to his. It was like my body took complete control over my mind, yet again. One of his hands was placed securely around my waist, and another knotted in my hair once he was convinced I had given up fighting. I tugged angrily at his wet clothes when he nibbled my bottom lip, I could feel him laughing against me. I backed up and slipped on the wet cement, he caught me easily, and pulled me back towards him. Nothing really made sense but the heat that was emanating from my body because of his touch. My whole mind was fuzzy, along with all of my actions. He pulled away leaving trails of kisses all along my neck and back up to my face.

I closed my eyes, relishing the feeling of his lips and the rain beating against my skin. It felt so right, but so wrong. Somewhere in the back of my mind was begging me to stop. It was almost as if he read my mind because the kisses ceased. I opened my eyes to see Roxas staring back at me. His finger tips caressed the sides of my cheeks gently. Damn him, I thought. How could he cause me to lose utter control over everything?

I was trembling under his intense gaze. Oh and I loved it.

"Kairi," he breathed, his lips brushing against mine, his blue eyes soft and warm with admiration. I blinked, trying to calm the urge to kiss him that was burning inside me. This can't be happening again. I can't do this to him, I can't hurt him _again_.

"Let me go." I said wanting to sound strong and unaffected by him, but in the end I sounded the complete opposite. He grinned at me softly, before planting his lips on mine again. I was going along with it, but immediately stopped myself, trying to think of a way to get him off of me. The only thing that came to my mind quickly made me even more miserable than the thought of _letting him go_. I knew it would hurt him, but it was the only way to prevent him from getting even more hurt.

I was going to move on. And by god, even Roxas wouldn't stop me.

"Kairi." He whispered in my ear.

My lips trembled and my body shook in fear as I responded. "_Sora_."

In that instant I knew I had done it. I closed my eyes scared of his reaction.

"Kairi?" He murmured. I opened my eyes to glance at him. He was staring back down, his eyes wide with a cross of shock, anger and to my horror devastation. Before I could speak, he moved away, and jumped back a few steps away from me. He immediately turned away from me.

Let him go.

Let him go.

I stood there, staring at his back which was hunched in defeat. I stepped back, until my foot hit the first step of the porch.

"I'm sorry," I muttered quietly. He shook his head slowly before turning his head around to face me. His eyes narrowed into a glare.

"How could you-… Why- Sora?" He growled angrily. I found myself glaring back at him with all my pent up anger and frustration.

"What'd you expect Roxas? Me running into your arms and live happily ever after?" I asked incredulously. He deepened his glare before he spoke again.

"Then what would you call all of this Kairi?" He snarled furiously.

"I-I don't know," I said softly.

"What do you mean you don't know?" He snapped.

"I DON'T KNOW!" I shrieked. My clothes were drenched with all the stupid rain. I could feel dirt streaming from my hair, and down my shirt. My breathing was heaving and I could see the small breath cloud form. The warmth from Roxas was quickly leaving my body.

"I cannot believe you." Roxas snapped back. His wild blond hair was flattened and slicked around the sides of his face. "You are unbelievable."

I glared at him, but I realized it wouldn't have that much of an affect because I was shaking so much.

"After all this? After all he's done to you, you still have the decency to think of him like that?" He demanded, clenching and unclenching his fists. He was shaking too, but I don't think it was because of the same reason as me. His icy blue eyes were narrowed with frustration.

"You wouldn't understand," I murmured, turning away from him.

"The hell I don't!" He spat, grabbing my arms, and shaking me. "Enlighten me Kairi." He said in a mocking tone.

"Roxas I-I don't know how many times I have to tell you," I said quietly, glancing back at him. His eyes were still narrowed into little slits. "I don't want you the way you want me."

The lie felt like it burnt a hole through my tongue.

He stared at me for the longest time with a furious expression.

"I'm done Kairi. For good." He said sharply, dropping his hands from my shoulders. He bowed his head and his shoulders hunched forward. "I give up."

I felt my eyes sting, as fat, hot tears built up around the rims. My chest constricted painfully and took everything inside of me not to show how much this hurt.

I hiccupped, but covered it with a cough. I nodded my head feeling like lead.

"I'm glad you see it my way." I whispered mechanically.

He gritted his teeth, shaking his head in disgust.

"I _hate_ you." He snarled.

I blinked, shocked. Everything around me suddenly felt icy and it wasn't because of the rain. My insides froze over in fright.

"W-what?" I asked, perplexed.

"I hope you and Sora are happy together." He remarked coldly, spinning on his heel and storming away. I watched him walk off, the rain pouring hard on his back with only one thought going through my head.

_I love you._

x.X.x

When I got out of the shower (yeah, another one), everything looked exactly the same, my room, my mother in her room, and for a second I thought that everything was back to normal. And the things that happened between _him_ and I never happened. It was a beautiful disillusion, really.

But the muffled ringing brought me back to reality.

My phone beeped annoyingly. I grabbed it and checked the front screen. One new voicemail. Oh great, I thought sarcastically. It better not be Roxas or else I'd be pissed off all over again. I tried to tell myself I would be pissed off. Being angry would've hid the way I was _really_ feeling. Completely heartbroken. It almost felt like a part of me just walked out with Roxas.

Walked out on _me_.

"_I hate you."_

I never realized how much worse it was to hear those words than the words I dreaded hearing from him long ago.

Before I could even dial my voicemail number, the house phone blared on, ringing like crazy. I jumped off my bed and ran downstairs to grab the phone.

"Hello?" I said rather irritatingly. Sora's voice came from the other line. His voice was soft and grave; I instantly knew something was up. Something bad.

"Kairi," He murmured.

"Sora? What? What is it?" I asked worriedly.

"We're at the hospital, "He said stiffly. "It's Roxas."

"What? What's wrong, Sora?" I asked, suddenly starting to panic.

"He's- he's hurt Kai-"

x.X.x

**Yeah, er, sorry about that cliff hanger... *cowers under random table*... considering how sporadic my updating patterns are.**

***Sigh*, so I'm not even going to say when I'll update because I'm usually wrong. (major depression) Anyway, next chapter will have Aqua. That's for sure.**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW ( I loves them. I loves my reviewers too.)  
**


	42. Chapter 41

**It is here! Lol. Yes. I'm sorry for the horrible cliffhanger last chapter T_T**

**Anyway, good news is I updated. Bad news: This chapter is rather short. Disgustingly short. But I wanted to break it here. I'm so sad. This story is coming to an end. DX So not _a lot _happens in this chapter. However there is something important that happens regarding Roxiri. So I hope you enjoy that. Also, Namine finally grows a pair. That's been undeniably delayed. I also didn't want to go super into Roxas's injuries. Because me=stupid when it comes to medical stuff. What do you expect, I'm just a child!**

**Completely irrelevent info about the author:**

-**Summer break is approaching... (next Friday to be exact) uber excited for that!**

**-Saw Xmen...Jeez the beast was super cute! (I love you Tony Stonem!) and I'm pretty excited for Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss in THG**

-**listening to "wires" by athlete while writing this chapter.  
**

x.X.x

_As I drown in my regrets /I can't take back the words I never said_

x.X.x

I never got to hear what was said after that because I threw the phone on the receiver, grabbed my coat and bolted out the door. At that moment it didn't occur to me how cold it was outside, and how I was wearing only a tank top and PJ bottoms underneath my coat. The only thing running through my mind was Roxas.

_I'm huge such an idiot. _

_Stupid idiot._

My heart beat crazily as I ran down the wet sidewalk, occasionally slipping and falling. The rain poured hard on me, drenching me in less than seconds.

I caught a few glances from passerby watching me incredulously under their warm jackets and umbrellas. I brushed them off by speeding up my pace. My shoes crashed against puddles made in the sidewalk, the splashing water meshing with the raindrops.

I felt my chest constrict tightly as the tall hospital building came in sight. I wheezed as I pushed my legs to move faster. I had to get there. I needed to get there.

A loud honking noise stopped me in my tracks, as I ran through the parking lot. A bald man poked his head out of the bright silver car, yelling an unintelligible string of curse words in my direction. I paused, before turning my head and continuing my sprint towards the hospital entrance.

"Kairi!"

I crashed into a body, but I was only really half aware. I brushed off the crash, and attempted to burst through the automatic doors, but a hand clamped around my wrist yanking me backward.

I whipped my head around furiously, tugging my hand away, when my eyes landed on the person holding onto me. My mouth literally went dry.

Riku, in all his silver haired glory (ugh), was staring at me nervously. His green eyes flitted around my face. I stared back – glared. Trying to make a point to have him let go of me without saying anything. He didn't seem to take the hint.

In fact his grip tightened around my wrist.

I turned to look at the hospital doors and back at the silver haired boy. My glare melted away into a pained desperate face.

"L-let m-me go!" I pleaded, tugging my arm away. Riku's eyebrows knitted together, but he held on. I felt his nails digging into my skin. I glanced back up at his face, searching for that malice, or anger that was usually evident on his features. I balked when I realized all I found was anxiety and – what was it? – guilt?

_What do I care! I need to go! Roxas- he..I need to see him!_

"L-let go!" I begged again, feeling my eyes well up. Riku shook his head, but for some reason I got the feeling he wasn't shaking his head at me directly. His face was pained and ghostly pale – paler than the norm. His jaw clenched and he bowed his head.

"Kairi, I'm so sorry." Riku said earnestly, sending a jolt of fear course throughout my body. I turned around so that I was fully facing him, grabbing is arm with my other hand and prying it away. When I was finally free of his grasp, I spun back around and headed for the door.

I was only vaguely aware of Riku's footsteps following after me.

_If he stops me again, I swear I'm going to hit him._

My socks made squelching noises inside the sneakers as I rushed into the hospital's waiting room, leaving little puddles of water. Sora, Namine, Aqua, and Xion all jumped up in shock as they took in my appearance. I couldn't blame them. I probably looked like a drowned cat. I knew I was crying too, but I couldn't tell what was rain water or tears. I heard Riku pause behind me. Judging from their faces, I figured they knew Riku was here.

"Kairi, why are you – Did you walk here?" Namine started to say, running over to me. She peeled off my wet jacket, draping hers over my shivering body.

"R-Roxas-s? W-where's R-Roxas?" I uttered, my teeth chattering like crazy. I wrapped my arms around myself trying to keep warm.

Sora sauntered over to me and put both of his hands on my shoulders, shaking me angrily.

"-What the hell is wrong with you!" Sora burst out furiously. I bowed my head shamefully. I knew he'd be mad at me. It was my fault his best friend was in the hospital after all. If I hadn't- if I'd just didn't –

Namine pushed him off of me, glaring daggers at him.

"Leave her alone!" She snarled, standing in between us. I looked over her shoulder to see Sora's expression only worsen.

"No!" He barked back, his voice rising considerably. "Do you realize what a stupid move you pulled off Kairi! You could have gotten hurt, what were you thinking running around in this weather. Do you want to get yourself killed? Look what happened to -"

"I-I d-don't know, I-"I stuttered, gaping at Sora. I'd never seen him this angry; heck I don't think I've ever really seen him angry. His blue eyes were narrowed with frustration.

"God damn you Kairi," He cursed, before pulling me into his arms. I stood there limply, shivering, as he rubbed my back for warmth. "You seriously could have gotten hurt. Do you understand that?" His voice was soft. I shook my head suddenly, feeling a surge of anger run through me. After the shock passed over, I started to become really anxious and angry.

"I-I don't c-care! What's w-wrong with R-Roxas-s?" I yelled, pushing him off of me. "T-tell m-me!"

Sora looked down, Riku looked away, and Namine stared back at me in shock. Her blue eyes were as wide as saucers.

"N-Namine," I said, ridding myself of my last shiver. "What happened, tell me!"

"He- he got hit by a car." She said weakly. It felt like my whole world was crashing down.

_Roxas. Roxas getting hit by a car. _No, that wasn't possible. It couldn't happen to Roxas. It must have been some other blonde look-a-like. It couldn't have been.

A nauseous wave of pain hit my head. This couldn't be happening. No. No. No. I thought about the last time I saw him, that defeated look he wore as he walked off into the storm.

_I'm so stupid! How could I just let him go like that? What's wrong with me? What the hell is wrong with me?_

I felt someone's – Namine's presumably – arms forcing me to sit in the nearest chair. I was shaking and I didn't realize that I was screaming my thoughts out loud.

"I need to see him," I said fiercely, refusing to let Namine guide me to the hard cushioned, two-seaters. I wrapped my hands around her arms, and pried them off of me. I wouldn't believe it, I couldn't. I started to walk towards the door that led to the patients.

"Kairi, you can't," Namine blurted out, reaching out for my arm but I pulled away.

"Kairi, relax," Riku said over Namine's shoulder. I couldn't help but give him a cold glare.

"You! You did this – what did you do!" I demanded, stomping around Namine, and up into his face. Riku's green eyes lowered, and his shoulders hunched.

"I-I didn't mean to." He whispered.

"What did you do?"

"It wasn't his fault." Xion piped up, almost knocking the wind from my lungs. I rounded on her.

"Why are you defending him?" I growled, taking a step towards her. Her blue eyes widened, and she took a step back.

"I-I'm not defending him Kairi. I'm worried too- "

"If there's anyone to blame it's _you_!" Aqua's voice interrupted Xion. Her blue eyes, on the other hand, were narrowed into thin slits. She sidestepped around Xion, and walked up into my face. I gritted my teeth

I visibly recoiled, as the blue haired girl advanced on me.

"You're the one that sent him out in this weather! This is _your_ fault. If he hadn't gone to see you, he wouldn't be here!" She continued. Her pale face was contorted with rage, and for a moment – a brief moment – I was truly scared of her.

"Shut up!" Namine blurted out, brushing past me.

"Don't you tell me to shut up Blondie – "

And completely out of character, Namine shoved her. Aqua stumbled backwards a bit, glancing at Namine with a shocked expression. Said blonde, huffed slightly, her fists clenched at her sides.

She was shaking with anger, and I was momentarily distracted by it.

"Shut up! I'm sick of your stupid comments! Every time you open your mouth you poison everything around you. Just… shut up." She snapped.

It was like a blur because of how fast it happened. One second Aqua was glaring at Namine and the next second they were pulling each other's hair. I cringed as I caught Aqua trying to claw at Namine. And Namine in turn was trying to aim a hit towards the tall girl's face. Xion and Sora, both tried to hold back Aqua's flying arms. Riku wrapped his arms around Namine, trying to yank her back – which immediately caused her to tense up. This left an opening for Aqua to hit her square in the face.

I didn't realize I started screaming. Like hardcore, bloodcurdling screaming.

The receptionist called security and in less than a second, every single one of us was being escorted outside.

"Look what you did, you idiot!" Aqua snarled, over Sora's shoulder, trying very hard to pull herself away from him and Xion. Her hair was a frazzled mess.

"You started it." Namine bit back, holding a hand to her mouth. I had a nervous feeling that she had a busted lip.

"You guys stop!" Sora ordered, causing both girls to stop trying to lunge at each other. "Stop fighting. Roxas is hurt; we don't have time for these petty little fights okay? Kairi calm down!"

It should have occurred to me to stop yelling. My throat hurt and my voice was sounding raspy. I closed my mouth instantly, but I still had that sudden urge to just belt out again. My eyes were watering at the restraint.

Namine spun around quickly, ducked under Riku's arms and was at my side. Her blue eyes searched mine. And I stared back mutely. Her bottom lip was bleeding a bit, but she seemed unaffected by it. I felt her thumb wipe the tears I didn't realize were on my face.

"I'm sorry." She whispered softly. I trembled slightly and moved away from her, gazing at the door.

"I need to see him." I muttered.

"Kairi, I know you're worried but you have to relax. We all want to see him." It was Sora's voice this time. I felt his hand on my shoulder again. He gave me a reassuring squeeze but I wanted to shrug it off. I didn't even have the effort to do that.

"I need to see him, "I repeated. " I have to see him with my own eyes." Before I took another step, Sora was in front of me. I bumped into him, tripping backwards. Namine grabbed my arm to prevent me from falling. He was staring down at me with a miserable expression on his face.

"You can't see him," He said sternly. I shook my head stubbornly.

"I have to," I snapped, jumping up to my feet.

"Kairi, he's – I mean the doctors won't tell us what's wrong." He muttered, his voice cracking at every word. "Riku called the ambulance, and – and they just rushed him over here. He's been in there for a good hour."

It felt like a shock wave entered my body, shocking every part of my body. I blinked, staring incredulously at Sora, before it hit me.

The thought of seeing him in the emergency room. He could've been in critical condition.

_He could be dying…_

"Oh god," I gasped, feeling my face crumple. My mouth trembled as my lips went down into a frown. My eyes became watered and clouded with blistering hot tears. I could feel my lungs burst in despair as I tried to calm my breathing that was coming out in raspy wheezes. "Oh god, oh god." I felt my knees give way and fall to the floor.

The next thing I knew Namine's arms were around me, pulling me close to her. She stroked the back of my head comfortingly, trying to calm me down. But the thing was I was far from comfortable and calming down.

"Shh, it's ok, it's ok Kairi," she cooed.

I buried my face in my hands and sighed. Aqua was right. This was my entire fault, damn it, I thought angrily. Everything was always my fault. I was never ever right. And now, Roxas was in the emergency room because of my stupidity. I almost jumped at the voice right beside me.

"Kairi," Namine whispered gently beside me, leading me to the wooden benches. She put her small hand on my back and rubbed back and forth. "It's alright." She looked tired and completely drained of the usual energy she had. Well she did get into a fight.

If I wasn't so distraught I would have scolded her on her irrational behavior. But I guess she sort of deserved a chance to be irrational, after years of being so put together.

My gaze shifted around the entrance and landed Sora, sitting down beside her, a worried expression plastered across his face. They were both concerned about Roxas. What if he doesn't make it? What if he dies because of me? I couldn't even bear that thought. What would life be without Roxas, without his scowling pessimistic attitude, or his insults, his comforting hugs, his kisses? My lips burned angrily for the contact of his. What if I never got to do that anymore? Did I even like it? I felt my heart skip a beat when I remembered the last time he kissed me; well attacked me was more like it. My body wanted it again, I wanted it.

Tears started to build up in my eyes, as I prayed he'd be fine. I prayed that the words I said to him a few hours ago wouldn't be the last thing I'd tell him.

"No," I murmured feeling my voice quiver. "It isn't alright, Namine, everything's my fault."

"Kairi, it's not, it was an accident, he'll- he'll be fine," she said quietly. Even a complete idiot could tell she wasn't even sure herself. I buried my face in my hands again, to hide the stupid tears. I wish I could go back and change everything. Change everything and tell the truth for once. I wish I could just stop lying to everyone and to myself. It's only made everything worse. I wish I could have told Namine what my real feelings were for Sora, instead of lying to her the whole time. I wish I could have confessed to Sora earlier, get it off my chest before everything turned all screwed up. And Roxas… I wouldn't have lied to him.

"_I mean I _want_ be with you."_

"Me too," I whispered sadly into my hands. My eyes burned angrily with tears, blurring my already blurred vision. "It's my entire fault!"

x.X.x

A man with blonde hair and golden eyes came outside, pausing in front of our little group.

"Are you all here for Roxas?" He asked. My ears perked up at the mention of his name, and I lunged from my seat.

"Yes! Is he okay?" I asked desperately. The blonde doctor chuckled gently, putting his hands up as if in surrender.

"He's perfectly fine – well not perfectly. I mean he's going to be just fine." He answered.

"What's wrong with him? How- how hurt is he?" Sora asked, also jumping up from his seat.

"Right well, if either of you are family members follow me, I can explain it all in the room." He said. "That is, if you don't start another fight in the lobby."

I felt my throat knot up as Sora followed the doctor. He looked over his shoulder at me, shooting me a determined expression before walking inside. I was nervous and still worried, but it felt like a major wave of relief hit me.

Roxas was going to be fine. Roxas was okay.

Namine tightened her arm around me.

"Are you okay?" She asked quietly. I sniffed loudly, before nodding and leaning into her embrace.

"Yes." I replied.

x.X.x

Sora came back outside fifteen minutes later. His face broke out into a big smile.

"He's totally okay." Sora answered my unspoken question. "He just has a couple soft tissue injuries and his left leg's in a cast. But Ansem said it'll only be on for about six months."

"Can we see him?" I asked anxiously.

Sora's face melted slightly. "Well he's sleeping right now, but I suppose, I think they'll let you in… "

I was on my feet before anyone could stop me. I walked up to the receptionist and asked which room I would find him.

My heart was pounding in anticipation as I walked down the white hallway. I hated this place. It was so sterile and so clean, yet so full of sickness. I hoped Roxas wouldn't have to stay here for long. I don't think he'd like being in here either.

Once I found the room, I quietly opened, and closed it behind me.

There he was, sleeping soundly on the hospital bed. Even in his unconscious state, he still had this weird way of making my pulse race and my face flush. I crept towards the bed and stared down at him. Observing his injuries.

His left leg was propped up. His hand had bandages wrapped around them, covering all the way up to his elbow. His chin had a large bandage covering it. And his forehead was also bandaged. My heart ached suddenly.

Yes, I was relieved that he was going to be okay. But this, I didn't want to see him like this. Even in his sleep he looked like he was in pain.

His face was paper white, black shadows smudged underneath his closed eyes, and his lips were pulled down into a painful grimace.

I just felt so – bad.

Hesitantly I reached out, my fingertips brushing against his face. Tracing over the bridge of his nose, his cheeks, and the bandage over his chin. I moved higher, smoothing out his wild blonde hair.

Despite the pain that was evident in his expression, he still looked – well – _beautiful_.

_Jeez, you've got it so bad Kairi._

I continued to watch him, letting my worry and anxiety slowly fade away. I stood there, studying him until my legs felt tired and I had to pull up a chair to sit by his bed. I knew I was abusing my visiting time – considering the other people waiting outside to see him – but I didn't care.

"Roxas?" I whispered gently.

No response. I sighed out loud, dropping my head so that it was resting on the edge of his bed. His hand was only a few inches away from my forehead.

"I need to tell you something." I mumbled against the white, hospital sheets. They smelled like…hospital. I wrinkled my nose in disgust, moving my head so that I was looking at the sleeping blonde. "Something I should've told you a long time ago."

I chewed my lip nervously. I kind of half hoped he'd wake up so I could stop talking. But I needed to say this, regardless if he was asleep or not. I lifted my head, scooting the chair closer to the bed, and sitting up straight.

"This is so typical talking to an unconscious person." I laughed watching Roxas still form. My lips pulled downward into a frown as I didn't watch him laugh back. Well that's to be expected? He's not even awake. "This is going to sound cheesy." I started, burying my face in my right hand. I sighed, shaking off my embarrassment.

"I don't want you to give up on me, Roxas." I admitted, feeling my lips fall into a deeper frown, as I stared at his blank, twisted face. "I know I've put you through a lot of pain this year and believe me I-I hate myself for it. It's been killing me this whole time. I feel like I barely realized I've been slowly dying ever since that day I made the wrong choice in picking Sora…"

I paused, before taking one of his bandaged hands in both of mine. It was ice cold and I involuntarily shivered. I stopped my speech, moving my hands against his, trying to warm it up. Satisfied I let go, holding on to his hand with one of mine. I let out a small sigh before continuing to talk.

"I-I know you hate my guts right now. I don't blame you… I would hate my guts too. It all just seems so stupid, you know? Being so – so _infatuated_ with Sora when I had you as an admirer from afar. And when you finally told me how you felt I just denied you. What kind of _idiot_ could do that? All this time I've been denying what I really felt for you." My eyesight became blurry as that familiar hot sting of tears reached my eyes. "What I _still_ feel for you." I sniffed audibly, removing one of my hands and wiping my eyes. "It scares me you know. I've never… never felt something _this_ intense before. It scares me to death. You're all I think about, most of the time- all of the time. And I can't get you out of my head. I _don't_ want to get you out of my head. It annoys me, but I like it too. I just-..great I'm not making any sense am I?"

I sighed again, before giving my head a reassuring shake.

"Look, the point is that, I'm letting you in now. I'm not holding back anymore. I'm tired of it. And really, I'm done with shushing away my fluttering heart when I see you, or being just friends. There was no point with the charade to begin with because, you _know_ me. I feel like you're the only person that _really _knows me. It's like you see right through me...and I-I can't hide anymore. I feel vulnerable, and stupid and scared. But at the same time, I-I'm happy, because it's _you_. And I trust you, completely."

I fell quiet; listening to his steady breathing. My eyes studied his face for a few seconds, watching for any flicker of life.

I sighed and bowed my head. "I don't know if you could ever forgive me. For everything I put you through. Roxas I -" I felt myself choke reflexively when I looked back at his sleeping form. "I want you. I want to be with you. I _love_ you. I love you so much that sometimes I can't stand it."

I sniffled, reaching forward, and wiping my nose on the sleeve of Namine's jacket.

"I can't believe you had to be in an accident for me to do this, It just shows how much I really _really_ don't deserve you. And you're asleep while I'm doing all of this. God."

"_God_ is right, fire crotch."

My head snapped up to find Aqua leaning against the doorway of the hospital room. Her expression was annoyed, and twisted with distaste. She raised a challenging eyebrow in my direction.

I sighed, shaking my head.

"I honestly don't want to fight with you right now." I said wearily, my eyes still on Roxas.

"And you think I do?" Aqua sneered in that sickly sweet voice. I felt a twinge of annoyance. But it was gone as quickly as it came. My eyes left Roxas to glance at Aqua. Her eyes were darting between me and my hand that was intertwined with Roxas's. Something flashed in her blue eyes that I couldn't quite decipher.

"I don't know." I muttered cautiously. "I know you just love confrontation."

She smirked, crossing her arms over her chest. I studied her for a second, waiting to find some kind of crack in her bitchy-ness like I had done before. I think she knew what I was trying to do, because she quickly averted her eyes and cleared her throat.

"Look, _Pepe Lepew_ I have some unfinished business with you." She said seriously, pushing herself off from the doorway. She uncrossed her arms and motioned for me to follow.

I blinked abruptly. "What?"

"We need to talk." She deadpanned.

**x.X.x**

**Jeez, I'm super bad with these cliffie's huh? Well, wonder what Aqua has to say... How about that confession huh? Lmao.**

**Thanks for reading! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**

**p.s: credit to "Words I never said" -Lupe Fiasco ft. Skylar Grey** **for an amazing song**


	43. Chapter 42

**Readers. Hello. Ah, you all MUST hate me right now. I seriously suck at updating. I SUCK AT IT! I honestly feel so ashamed with myself. I've been unintentionally dragging out the end. Originally this was going to be the final chapter (le gasp, I know!) but I cut it, and felt I needed to add stuff, tie up loose ends - that kind of stuff.**

**So this chapter isn't that long, but it's not really that short either. So I guess I'm pretty okay with the length. What else can I say?**

**Ohhhh right! So to the Anonymous reviewer who wanted to _contact _me, my twitter account is VeeGeeMcgee so I guess you can follow me if you want to. But tell me who you are so I know it's not some random, okay?**

**To the rest of my reviewers. I'm sorry I couldn't reply to all of the ones I got. I suck at replying too. I usually start off good, but then I just ... get bad at it. I love you guys, I really do. And I really appreciate all of your reviews! Thank you guys!**

**Anyway, I'm holding you all up. I present to you chapter 42.**

x.X.x

I felt my mouth fall open slightly at her serious expression. Her eyebrows knitted together, and she rested a hand on her hip, impatiently.

"_Well_? I don't have all day. And frankly, you're hogging Roxas up." She snapped.

I stared at her mutely for a few seconds before the realization hit me. I felt the heat creep up my neck and pool around my face.

"Wait…did you hear – were you listening… the whole thing?" I mumbled incredulously. Aqua rolled her eyes, before jerking her head into a quick nod.

"Oh relax; everyone heard your pathetic excuse of a confession." She drawled, walking towards the bed and staring down at me. I poked around her and caught Sora, and Namine peeking through the doorway. Sora looked sheepish, and Namine was totally beaming at me. I ducked my head, feeling my face grow incredibly hot.

"This was private!" I snapped.

"Yeah, it's a hospital Red. Can't get any more private can it? Look will you just get up already?" Her tone was impatient, but it almost sounded pleading as well. Pleading? Aqua never did any _pleading_. Her hand landed on my shoulder and she was gripping me. I could feel her tugging at me as I turned to look back at Roxas.

"Wait-"

"No, come on! I don't have all day-"

"She doesn't have to go if she doesn't want to." Namine's voice blurted out. My eyes flickered in her direction. She was glaring at the blue haired girl. Aqua in turn stiffened, glanced at Namine with a glower.

"Stay out of this, Blondie." She said in a deadly voice. If there was any other time Namine reminded me of an angry cat, it was nothing compared to this. She took a step forward, but Sora quickly wrapped an arm around her waist pulling her back.

"That's right, keep your little dog on a leash why don't you?" Aqua laughed, as Namine let out a furious growl.

"Let go of me Sora!" She hissed, fighting with his arms around her. I glanced at Aqua and Namine quickly, before staring back at Roxas. I let out a small sigh, giving his hand one last squeeze before letting go.

"It's okay, we can talk." I mumbled. Namine immediately stopped struggling to stare at me wide-eyed.

"Kairi, she-she – you _want_ to talk to her? You don't have to do this- " She started but I held up a hand.

"It's fine." I replied, silencing her in less than a second.

x.X.x

I followed her as she sashayed through the hallway, pausing at a door. She opened it, peered inside, before ducking out and motioning for me to follow her. I know I should've been worried – being in a room alone with her – but I honestly didn't care. My heart was tugging me back towards Roxas sleeping in the room I had just left.

I followed her inside, and she turned closed the door and locked it. She whipped around to stare at me, and I watched her, starting to feel the nervousness creep in as the situation hit me.

"So what do you – "

"You should sit." She cut in quickly, walking over and leaning against the counter where the doctors kept all of their disposable supplies.

I blinked, confused, before taking a step backwards and falling into the chair by the window. I looked up and waited for her to speak. She frowned.

"Look, fire-cr… _Kairi_, I haven't exactly been _nice_ to you." She stated through gritted teeth. I narrowed my eyes, meeting her glare. "I'm not proud of it. But you rub me the wrong way. In fact I really don't like you. Or your little friend for that matter…"

"What are you trying to say, Aqua?" I snapped, suddenly feeling irritated. She visibly flinched when I used her name.

She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest, averting her eyes.

"I was trying to protect Roxas from you, okay?" She growled, uncrossing her arms. "You – you just – you annoy me, and you were hurting him!"

"You know I didn't mean-"

"The _point_ is I was protecting him. I was doing all of this for him, not for my own personal satisfaction! Do you get it now Kairi?" She growled exasperatedly. It only hit me a second later that she used my name. "I know what it's like. I mean…" She shook her head, and backed up farther into the counter.

I watched her warily, as she blinked rapidly, and rolled her eyes. Her bottom lip was trembling and she was flushed a deep red.

"Aqua… "

"Shut up! I'm not done!" She shrieked, looking about two seconds from throwing the bandage dispenser at me. I shrunk back in my chair and allowed her to continue. "I-I was only thirteen when I met him."

I stared at her puzzled, opening my mouth to question her but her glare shut me up. She sighed before continuing.

"He really did sweep me off my feet. I really liked the guy – okay well I, um, yeah, I loved him. Like serious, mind-screwing love. And I thought he loved me back. He would always push me away, but I always took it as him playing hard to get." She shook her head, bowing it, and stomping her foot. It took me a moment to realize that she was trying really hard not to… cry? "And then he told me he loved me. And I – I believed him."

She stayed quiet for a disturbingly long time. I didn't want to interrupt, but I also didn't want to stay. This was weird enough. Seeing Aqua with a heart? What was the world coming to? I felt my nerves get to me. I was so close to rising from the seat and attempting to sneak out, because she was off in her own world. Aqua was seriously catatonic.

But her voice stopped me in a shattering halt – half raised and half sitting.

"The next thing I find is him kissing my _cousin_." She let out a bitter, humorless laugh. "I should have realized he was using me from the very beginning; our relationship wasn't exactly exclusive."

Her cousin? I felt my eyebrows knit together, confused. I sat back down, feeling my knees quiver at the strain I was putting them through. What was she talking about?

"Aqua – "

"And when I saw him today, it felt like something clicked inside of me. I didn't want this happening again. I tried to stop it with Roxas, cut him off from you before he got too – too _attached_. Before he turned into some bitter, cynical monster – someone like me." It was almost heartbreaking the way she emphasized the ending of her statement. She was looking at me again.

That pleading look was back in her eyes. And I felt so horrible. My chest started to tighten at her face. I wanted to get out of here. Was this all some kind of trick or…?

"But I realized it was too late. And I realized that we're – our _situations_ weren't the same at all. You're not – you're not like him Kairi. Not at all." She finished wearily. The pleading expression had softened, and she was staring at me with something akin to respect.

I felt my insides twist nervously.

"I'm not like who?" I probed, feeling the answer already on the tip of my tongue. One of her sculpted eyebrows rose, and her bitchy mask fell back into place.

"I thought you would have figured it out already."

I looked away and nodded my head.

"So now you know." She said simply, pushing herself away from the counter. Her expression was amused, but I could still see the pain flashing blatantly in her eyes.

I chewed my lip, hesitating.

"You're not really a bitch, are you?" I whispered. Her eyes averted instantly.

And to my utter surprise she smiled, a genuine one. For a second I was reminded of Xion.

x.X.x

Aqua ended up not visiting Roxas. She left quickly after our little conversation in the hospital room. I felt… bad, watching her walk down the hospital halls with that confident strut. She looked composed and well rounded, and pretty bitchy but I knew that inside, that wasn't the case at all.

I felt this weird strange bond with her.

Oh boy, how on earth was I going to explain that to Namine?

I rolled my eyes before making my way back to the waiting room. I figured Sora and Namine were still in the room. And as much as I wanted to go back in, I wouldn't with them in there. It felt too intimate to have more than just…well me in the room with Roxas.

I heaved a sigh once I spotted Xion. I almost completely forgot her presence. I needed to apologize to her. I didn't – okay well I did – mean what I said to her. But I didn't have to actually accuse her. Some things really are better left unsaid.

Her head lifted up before I reached her, and she was staring at me blankly.

"Hi." I mumbled.

"Hello." She muttered, turning to stare back at her lap.

I nodded my head once, and stared at the receptionist. She was glaring at us. I guess, watching us to see if we'd start another fight.

"How's Roxas?" She asked suddenly, breaking my gaze. I felt my chest ache at the mention of the blonde. I wanted to see him again.

"He's sleeping." I said simply. "But he's fine."

Xion visibly relaxed and let out a sigh of relief. I watched as she sunk back in her chair.

"That's good." She said sincerely.

I nodded my head again, twiddling with my fingers. I glanced at her.

"You should go see him."

"Oh…I don't think that would be a good idea." She answered quietly, looking defeated. My eyebrows knitted together, and I crossed my arms over my chest, regarding her with a suspicious expression.

"Why's that?" I questioned. She let out another deep sigh, and finally lifted her eyes to meet mine. I had to swallow the lump that was beginning to form in my throat at the sight of her pleading, blue eyes. It reminded me so much of –

"I-I…" She hesitated, chewing her lip and looking away from me again. "It's my fault. If I hadn't been standing in the middle of the road, if I would've just broken up the fight, h-he wouldn't even be here."

I felt the blood literally drain from my face. Xion shook her head; one of her hands reached up to wipe her eyes. I saw a hand placed on her shoulder. I didn't realize Riku was there with us, until my eyes traveled up the arm to find the green eyed owner.

"He's fine, Xion." He whispered gently in her ear. She sniffed loudly, and gazed back down at her lap miserably.

The lump formed again in my throat. I coughed painfully, trying to ignore it.

"What happened?" I internally winced at how hoarse my voice suddenly sounded. I could feel a pool of heat boiling in my stomach as I watched the both of them. Xion in her misery and Riku in his guilt. I coughed again. "Tell me _exactly_ what happened."

"Kairi, I think we should let this all settle down before we go into that – " Riku started but I cut in.

"No. You are going to tell me what happened. _Now_." I said slowly, leveling my gaze with his eyes in a steely glance. His green eyes narrowed questioningly. I was almost certain he was going to come back with a snide remark or revert back into his jerk attitude. We both stared over Xion's head at each other, until he finally relented and sighed.

"I was pissed off."Riku started, glancing down nervously at the black haired girl, who was now quietly sobbing into her hands. He wrapped a comforting arm around her. I immediately felt this wave of nausea at seeing them together. I wished she would have shrugged him off. "Xion and I got into an argument and I left her."

"What kind of argument?" I snapped, suddenly feeling irrationally furious.

"I hardly think that's any of your business." Riku remarked dryly. "But we were discussing our relationship."

"Which is?"

"Riku will you wait outside?" Xion interrupted, tilting her head away from me to look up at the silver haired boy. He pursed his lips, gazing at her intensely before nodding his head once. Lunging from his seat, he turned back to look at me.

I glowered at him. I didn't care if his expression softened.

"I'm really am sorry Kairi." He apologized. I shook my head, watching as he walked through the automatic doors.

Once I couldn't see his stupid silver hair anymore, I rounded on Xion. I was almost shocked to see her eyes dry and a blank look on her face.

"Do you mind telling me what the hell's going on?" I demanded. I could feel my hands trembling with anger against the arms of the chair. It was stupid to suddenly get mad. I didn't even really get it either. But just looking at Xion gave me a headache.

Her dark eyebrows furrowed. "Nothing."

"Xion, seriously – "

"_Nothing_ was going on. And that's what made him upset." Xion muttered. "He- he got angry and just bolted. I didn't know what to do. Of course I was freaking out. There was a storm outside. He- he could've gotten hurt –"

"- Yeah like Roxas did." I snarled.

She visibly recoiled, shrinking further into her chair.

"You're mad."

"Of course I'm mad!" I practically screamed out loud. My eyes instantly flickered towards the receptionist who was watching me warily. Our eyes met and she gave me a warning look. I gulped, and tried to calm myself down before I got kicked out again. I needed to see Roxas at least one last time. I let out a deep sigh, turning my attention back to Xion, who was staring at me cautiously. "You're here sitting with your _boyfriend_, claiming you're the cause of Roxas being here and yet you won't go see him!"

"He's not my boyfriend." Xion defended quietly.

"He sure as hell isn't Aqua's." I countered nastily. At this comment, her blue eyes widened in shock. Her mouth fell open, and formed an O.

"How did… How do you know about that?" She stammered.

I hesitated, and averted my eyes.

"That's not the point." I huffed, sinking into my seat and running a hand through my hair. I closed my eyes, breathing deeply through my nose. My jaw clenched and unclenched as I tried to rid myself of the anger that was just festering in my body. I was – conflicted. I didn't know exactly what the right thing was to feel. Should I have been angry with Xion? Maybe I was being too hard on her. And Riku, he did seem sorry.

Maybe things were personal because it was Roxas. Would I still be the same way if it were Sora sleeping in the hospital bed?

"Look, just, continue with what happened." I finally said, keeping my eyes closed, then opening them to peek at her. She blinked slowly before nodding in agreement.

"I didn't know what to do. So I came to you to help me find him. Namine and Sora came with me and we found him with Roxas. I don't – I don't remember what they were saying, but they were both so angry. And then –"

"And then what?" I pressed unevenly. The anger only seemed to become harder to hold back. I could feel tears building up in my eyes as I tried to hold back the urge to lash out on her again.

_Stay cool Kairi. Calm yourself._

"They started fighting. I – I tried to stop them, but they kept pushing me away. And Sora couldn't hold both of them back. Namine wouldn't go near Riku; she just froze on the spot and watched the entire thing as if it were some kind of spectacle."

I fought the urge to defend the blonde. It wasn't her fault that that bastard completely traumatized her. Instead, I mechanically nodded my head, gesturing for her to continue.

"I was so frustrated and angry that they wouldn't listen. The last thing I really remember is yelling at them. The headlights and Roxas pushing me out of the way." I heard Xion shudder audibly. My eyes cracked open and I saw her shaking. I was torn. I wanted to be angry with her. I really did, but at this moment I couldn't help but feel a wave of sympathy, and this desire to comfort her. She looked broken. And I got the hint that more went on between her and Riku. Because of that, it probably left her in this state of confusion.

"It was horrible – the way he toppled off the car. I just –" She shook her head.

I couldn't listen anymore. I lunged from my seat and left Xion in the waiting room.

x.X.x

My footsteps thudded softly against the bleach-white, glossy floors. Nurses regarded me with a suspicious expression. I didn't mind though. My mind was pretty preoccupied with other things than the possibility of being yelled at.

I paused at the door, peeking around the corner to see Namine and Sora at Roxas's bedside. Her head was resting against his shoulder and he had an arm wrapped around her shoulders.

I cleared my throat. Namine abruptly shoved Sora from around her and turned to smile at me sheepishly. Her face flushed as I raised an eyebrow.

"Um, so you're uh- done with talking to Aqua?" Sora asked, shooting Namine a wounded glare. She pointedly stepped further away from the brunette.

"Yeah." I answered, leaning against the doorway.

"She didn't say anything to make you upset did she?" Namine asked, suddenly regaining the previous anger from earlier.

"No. Not entirely." I admitted honestly, pushing myself away from the doorway and stepping into the room.

"What did she say?" She pressed.

"It's nothing important." I lied, stopping around the other side of Roxas. The side with the chair. Quickly I fell into the chair and moved it until I was right back at the edge of the bed. Roxas was in the same position. His face stony and pale.

I had the sudden urge to smooth out the crease on his forehead. Just as I was about to, I felt a chill down my spine – that feeling you get when you know you're not alone. Well, obviously I wasn't alone.

Both of them were quiet and I figured they were just staring at me incredulously. I sighed wearily before tilting my head to look at them expectantly. Namine met my gaze.

_Like go, seriously._

"We should go." She blurted out, reaching down and tugging Sora's hand. A dopey grin formed on his face and I watched as he gladly followed her.

_Thank you!_

I shook my head in annoyance before turning back to the blonde laying on the bed.

I chewed my lip, holding my hands against my lap. They were just itching to touch him. Just to make sure he wouldn't disappear. That this really wasn't an illusion or dream. Timidly, I reached out for his hand again. It was just begging for me to grab. Literally only two inches away, the nurse walked in. I jumped back immediately and stuffed my hands in Namine's jacket, attempting to look nonchalant.

The nurse gave me a warm, knowing smile before moving towards the bed and pulling out a thermometer and checking Roxas's temperature. She flipped her long pink hair over her shoulder before placing it in his ear. After about a minute, she pulled it out and tutted thoughtfully at the reading. I glanced down at her name tag attached to her dark blue scrubs.

_Marluxia_.

"How is it?" I asked before I even realized what I was saying. She looked up at me, blowing her pink bangs out of her face. Her narrow green eyes praised me with curiosity.

"Looks good."

I almost fell out of my chair hearing her speak in such a masculine voice. What the hell? I scrutinized her as she walked out of the room, only to realize that she was undeniably a _he_.

I face planted and felt my cheeks burn with embarrassment. Was it really my fault that he looked so feminine?

I waited at least five minutes, expecting her – uh – him to walk back inside the room. Or the doctor at the very least. Once I was satisfied that I was going to be alone with Roxas without interruption, I resumed my position at the edge of the bed. My hand crept out of the jacket pocket and laid flat against the hospital sheets. His hand was only a few inches away. My fingers tiptoed against the bed.

Almost there…

"He should be getting up soon." Marluxia's voice broke me from my concentration, and for the second time I hurriedly stuffed my hand into the jacket. I coughed uncomfortably, trying to hide my reddening face. "The doctor said so."

"R-really?" I stammered out nervously, as the nurse came into my view. He carried a tray with the standard hospital food. I blinked at the food confused. Would he really be able to eat that now?

"I'm sorry. I keep barging in like this." He finally said after setting the things down on the table near the bed. "He's lucky to have a girlfriend like you to sit around like this. I bet he'll be really happy when he wakes up."

I opened my mouth to deny what he had just said. I- I wasn't his girlfriend. And I wasn't exactly his friend at the moment. I licked my lips anxiously, watching Marluxia's eyes flicker from Roxas to me. He was expecting me to agree – in fact he was just standing there waiting for me to say _something_.

_What do I say to that?_

"I just…" I felt like an idiot, mumbling to myself. Marluxia probably took it as embarrassment, which was partly true. I was embarrassed at being referred to as Roxas's girlfriend. Not because I was ashamed – please, I was way past the denial phase. I was only embarrassed because I _wasn't_ his girlfriend. (Even if that was my fault).

I winced at that thought.

_You're an idiot, Kairi. Really._

"I just…. I'm glad he's okay." I finally said in something similar to a defeated tone.

Marluxia gave me tight smile, before backing away from the bed and walking out the door. It didn't go unnoticed the way she – er – he shut the door. My face flushed again at the obvious attempt at privacy he was trying to give me. What did he expect me to do?

I shook my head trying to wash away the embarrassment. My eyes flickered back towards Roxas. I felt my chest heave and I released a deep breath. For the first time this whole day, I felt calm. Reassured. _Happy_ even.

Maybe things were starting to turn out for the best.

Hesitantly I reached out for his hand again, and when I made contact a warm wave of content spread through my body. My thumb brushed against the top of his cold bandaged hand.

I was good. We were good. For now.

x.X.x

I think it was safe to say I practically fell asleep for a good hour when Marluxia walked back inside the room and woke me up.

I lifted my head drowsily and looked around, forgetting where I was for a moment. My eyes glanced down to be met with the sight of my hand intertwined with Roxas's. I felt my face heat up in the presence of the nurse, and I quickly pried my hand away.

"Um…" I trailed of stupidly, stuffing my hands hurriedly in Namine's jacket. The nurse regarded me with another one of his warm smiles. "I was just – um…"

"It's getting rather late, dear." He said softly. "Do you need to use our phone to call your parents?"

"Um…"

"I'll give you a minute to say goodbye." He responded knowingly before walking outside the door again. I froze, staring blankly at the door.

I licked my chapped lips and turned back towards the sleeping blonde. Why couldn't he just wake up? I wanted to be here – I wanted to be the first thing he saw. My chest felt heavy and I sighed deeply.

_This isn't a movie Kairi. Be realistic._

I stared at his pale face thoughtfully. My eyes trailed his cheekbones, to his jaw, resting on his neck. An idea struck me suddenly. I leaped from my seat, banging my knee against the side of the bed.

"Ow!"

_Okay, that really hurt._

Massaging my sore knee, I scooted closer to the top of the bed, where Roxas's face still laid motionless. I sucked in a deep breath, before reaching up to unhook the silver chain dangling from my neck. I pulled it off in one swift motion. My eyes locked on the swinging key pendant.

Namine was going to kill me all over again. I held back a small laugh, before reaching down and locking it around the sleeping blonde's neck. I studied the necklace. It felt right, seeing it against Roxas's collarbone. Maybe I shouldn't have taken it back in the first place. It was his.

_It's always been his._

I was so lost in my thoughts, that it literally startled me to hear a slight cough coming from the blonde's lips. I jumped back crashing into the chair, and toppling back down into it.

"R-Roxas?" I stuttered, struggling to sit up.

He was still, and for a moment I seriously thought I was hearing things. But then I saw his eyes flutter, before cracking open slightly. A wave of excitement grew in the pit of my stomach at seeing the warm, liquid blue eyes dart slowly around the room.

"Uhhh, um, Nurse!" I cried out, straightening forward, and rising from my seat. The door opened and Marluxia came bustling in. He was wearing that smile again, and it only brightened at seeing the blonde awake.

"Ah, you're up!" He said happily, coming over to Roxas's side.

Roxas coughed, squinting his eyes towards Marluxia's direction.

"Wh-where am I?" He mumbled hoarsely.

"You're in the hospital." Marluxia answered patiently. "Hit and run driver. Lucky, there was no real damage to vital organs."

Roxas was silent for a moment. His eyebrows pinched together and a crease formed on his forehead. I had to restrain the sudden urge to smooth it away.

"You're a lucky young man." Marluxia continued. "Your girlfriend here, stayed with you pretty much the entire day."

My cheeks burned and I shot a withering glare in his direction. The nurse threw his hands up in the air in surrender.

Roxas's furrowed eyebrows smoothed out, as a confused expression replaced his thinking one. His eyes searched Marluxia's with that same puzzled look.

"Girlfriend?"

His eyes finally flickered in my direction. Immediately, his lips formed into a tight frown. We both stared at each other for what felt like hours. I didn't even realize Marluxia had walked out, yet again, from the room.

I fidgeted uncomfortably in my position as I study Roxas studying me. I coughed, and broke away from the intense gaze. I couldn't read his expression and it was starting to freak me out. The happy, and reassuring feeling from earlier was quickly dissipating.

"H-Hi." I mumbled shyly, finding my sodden shoes more interesting. "How – um – how are –"

"-What are you doing here?" The harshness of his voice made my attention snap back up. I almost gasped in shock. His warm blue eyes hardened and turned icy cold instantly. I felt myself back up automatically.

"W-what?" I questioned blankly.

"What are you doing here?" He repeated slowly.

"I um.." I tried to speak, but I was in such a daze. What the hell was happening?

He was glaring at me expectantly and I was so taken aback, I didn't know exactly what to say. What should I have said? I didn't know. I didn't know!

"I just, I…"

_Was worried you were going to die! _

"Wanted to see if you were ok..." I finished weakly, watching as his features darkened. He winced as he tried sitting up. I reached forward attempting to help him, but he shot me glower that made me freeze in my tracks.

"That," His voice was quivering."Is the most pathetic excuse I've ever heard." He burst out, clenching his hands into tight fists, so tight his knuckles were white. I would have stared at his never ending tightening fists, but his eyes caught my attention.

I'd never seen such – hatred in them. I was shaking. And I was aware of how obvious I was being.

"'_I wanted to see if you were ok.'_" He mocked. "If I wasn't ok, _he_ would have said something to you."

I felt my face burn with humiliation. My pulse was racing and I was keeping from the urge of bursting into tears. I could already feel my eyes burning. I swallowed a large gulp, feeling the tight knot forming in my throat.

"S-Sora did call me – " I started, but he turned his face away from me, causing the words die on my tongue.

"I don't want to hear anymore about him."

"You're not being fair-"

"Yeah, well life isn't fair, is it?" He spat. Roxas turned, facing me again. My lips trembled as I tried to restrain the bubbling tears.

"How can you say that?" I stammered my voice thick. "I don't – I don't want Sora, okay? I just want you."

He shook his head. I felt my breathing quicken as I started to panic. That's what it was. I was having a panic attack.

I licked my lips nervously, and attempted to swallow the large lump in my throat again.

"Roxas, I- I want you."

"Shut up." He muttered, looking away.

"Please, I love – "

"I said shut up!"

I stopped and watched him as my vision blurred. He was resolute and I was desperate.

_Oh how the tables have turned._

"Why won't you just listen?" I pleaded, hating how quickly I was reduced to tears. He was still looking pointedly away.

"You expect me to listen to you now, after everything – all that crap you put me through, just because it's convenient for you? No. No Kairi. I meant what I said, I'm done."

My eyes never left him. Even when I didn't realize I was crying at this point. I felt – numb. Really, what the hell was happening?

My head couldn't process it. My brain wouldn't let me process it. This wasn't happening. I wasn't being rejected again. This had to be a dream – a nightmare. And I would be waking up in a few minutes.

Suddenly the hospital lights were too bright, and it was too hot in here. I felt the lump in my throat moving, and I realized I was going to throw up.

"So that's it?" I croaked out. "You're just going to dump me again?"

"Doesn't feel too good on the receiving end does it?" He sneered. I shook my head and finally broke my gaze away from the blonde, to stare down at the tiles on the floor.

"I'm sorry." I whispered out honestly.

_Because I love you. Because I put you through this. Because it hurts like hell._

"Little too late for that, don't you think?" Roxas spat. His voice sounded far away now.

"I know. I just wanted to let you know." I finally said. And suddenly I wasn't crying anymore. I didn't feel the pain in my throat, or my lungs tighten. I didn't feel anything. I was just – there.

"Whatever."

I nodded my head to nothing in particular and drifted towards the door. It felt like I was floating, but that would've been impossible considering the fact that my feet felt so heavy. He didn't say anything as I made my way towards the exit. But I could sense his gaze on me.

I paused at the door, considering my next move. With a deep sigh, I latched on to the door handle.

"_I love you, Roxas_." I whispered softly against the door. "Thought you should know."

I didn't look back.

x.X.x

**Thanks for reading! Hopefully last chapter up this week. Hopefully, remember, you're talking to the Queen of Procrastination. **

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	44. Chapter 43

**With a heavy heart and a little relief, I'm a tiny bit ambivalent to announce the end of It's Just a Crush. What can I say? It's been a good long run. And it pains me to think of no longer writing for this story. Yet at the same time it feels like a gigantic thing has been lifted off of my chest. I can breathe finally and continue writing. And explore different fandoms. I hate to say that this story sometimes felt like it tied me down, but it sometimes made me feel like a proud mother hen. Oh what the hell, I am a proud mother hen. This is my baby. I've fed it words and sentences, and your reviews have taught it to just live. I've watched it grow and that saying "they really do grow up that fast" is true (despite the fact that this took over two years to complete). I began writing this story as a freshman in high school and look now, I'm in my last year. So it is rather sad knowing that I'm saying goodbye to a chapter in my life. It does not mean I'm done writing (hell no!).**

**Special Thanks To:**

_candelight, EpikDreams, XDarkRider, AngelJeanne, kataragurl27, SaphireWaves, Angel heart-chan, Psychopathic Prodigy, ., Achalys, blz1990, Joey Hirasame, RoxiMaximoff, Sorrelstar, Kai Hero, JazzBox, poohbearlover95, OSheaMackenzie, TinaalovesMints, JDH1080, littlekelly360, stefanie51, Maika Akarui, A. Santos, miyakiki-sama, WhiteTenshi, Ground-Cinnamon, CocoaButter, XRarityoftearsX, riku23, mahamania, Clarilune, Sashabelle, LadyJamie178, sunflowerb, KHgatomon3444, Smirking Idiot, UseTheForce3434, xxxPLURxxx, JoyDollie, PurpleTango, momochan1995, Aisa the Knight Apprentice, KelseyMariee, Fanfiction Fanatiction, , ultravioletpapercutsx, Here but not notiiced, Scielle, Nothing Short of Awesome, dearlybelovedangel, QuinnyBear, Nomsaur, mimi-chan04, Tbaby13, Sookdeo, Hook131, abyss walker, SpartanCommando, ash-nobody, Mirajanehottie, MyRealNameIsHiding, ShadowShikome, Rea Valentine, Breathlessly Wicked, Takuri, Gaia Bane, Princedarkness, TheDarkprincess15, Finished and Gone, nacho-chan, Iggy Lolita, Onyxclarinet, Rima Akien, ventus4ever, CupcakeLerman, Draco Oblivion, Don't Shoot the Puppy, Ashcroitt, Hero Of The Hazard, Gxmwp, Knightmare Frame Razgriz, Bonsai-chan, Burai Stelar, Spellbound a.k.a soragirl4ever, StripperBoy69, Ali-Flash-Loving-Nerd, Realms of Destiny, timoteii, roxirigirl, Tbaby13, Akitsuki Akira, , sakuraharunoluver7, Atlandim, Morbidly Bored, , xCarryOnDancingx, ken08002, FallingIntoParadise, twobecomeone13, Pokefan102_

**And to all of the heartfelt anonymous reviews! Seriously I wish you guys had an account so I could personally thank you too!**

**So… I'm really thankful to all of the readers out there who've stuck with Kairi since the beginning, when she was just the dorky four-eyed freak.**

**Thank you guys. Really.**

x.X.x

I felt numb. I was pretty sure I was bawling though. My mother took one look at me as she waited in her car. I didn't feel Sora wrap an arm around me, or Namine grab my hand. I wasn't even really aware of it. They questioned me – asked me if I was all right. I didn't respond, I just couldn't.

What would I say? What _could_ I say?

Xion fell into the car with us. Riku wasn't with her, neither was Aqua.

I just didn't know what I wanted. I think I felt more confused than hurt.

x.X.x

I laid flat on my bed as Sora, Namine, and Xion talked amongst themselves. They were whispering, looking as if they were conspiring against one another. It really was starting to tick me off. They were doing it more and more often.

It had been a week since the day I left _him_ in the hospital. A week of doing absolutely nothing. I refused to think of him. If I didn't think, I wouldn't hurt. I knew I was being stupid by burying everything and pretty soon I was bound to blow, but I couldn't help it. I didn't want to cry over him.

I wouldn't.

"Hey Kairi." Sora's voice snapped my attention. I lifted my head to meet his gaze. His eyes were swimming with happiness, and his lips were always in a permanent grin. It made me angry all over again. How could he be so damn happy when I was miserable? Oh – I mean, not miserable… I was fine.

My eyes flitted over towards the blonde sitting next to him, who _discreetly_ had her pinky linked with his. Discreetly, my ass. I still didn't understand why the two – mostly Namine – tried to deny they were in a relationship. I couldn't tell you how many times I walked in on them in an uncompromising position which led to the blonde pushing Sora away.

Xion met my gaze and smiled furtively. The little tension in our friendship that day at the hospital subsided. Riku wasn't hanging around her; there wasn't a valid reason to stay angry with her.

"So, um, I was uh, you know talking to Roxas earlier today." He continued hurriedly.

My eyes darted quickly back towards the brunette. I felt my body instantly tense at the name. What did these people not understand that talking about _him _was taboo?

"And he asked for you." Sora added in a whisper. I felt the blood rise to my face as my gaze flickered to each of their faces. How could I have been surprised? There was something fishy about their conspiring whispers.

"And we know that you might be hesitant about going to see him." Namine blurted out.

"But who knows, you guys might make up." Xion finished with a shoulder shrug. It seemed rehearsed. This whole conversation. And it was only causing more anger to erupt.

"That's not going to happen." I snapped, burying my head against the pillow again. I could feel my lips tremble against the cloth and I was suddenly extremely thankful I had a pillow to hide my face. I wished they would leave already.

I knew they were thinking they were supporting me by staying around, but honestly the only thing I wanted at this moment was to be alone. I needed… I needed time to readjust. Time to consider my options.

They didn't say anything after that. And to say I was relieved was an understatement. It was quiet for a few minutes until I heard Sora cough uncomfortably.

"Um, well I think we'll be going now… we have… um…" he trailed off dully. I felt my eyes roll against the pillow.

"Sora, um, wanted… um he wants to buy new shoes." Namine cut in quickly. "Isn't that right, Sora?"

"I-I do?... Ow, I mean yes, I do."

"So we have to go."

Another eye roll against the pillows, as I heard them noisily exit my room. I huffed before rolling on my back to glare at the ceiling. Stupid perfect, happy couples interfering with my not-moping time.

"I don't understand why they won't just say it's a date." Xion murmured breaking my inner rant.

"I know." My eyes flitted in her direction as she smiled softly. The tension may have subsided, but it was still there. I hadn't exactly been alone with the dark haired girl since the day of the accident.

I chewed my lip before returning my gaze on the ceiling. Looking at her was starting bring up unwanted feelings regarding that day at the hospital.

"Aqua went home." Xion muttered after a long period of silence. I quickly turned and stared back down at her.

"She didn't say goodbye." I found myself saying, and quickly regretting it once I saw the flash of hurt flit across Xion's expression.

"I wasn't aware of your friendship." She offered quietly.

"We aren't friends." I defended, rising from my seat and sitting on the edge of the bed. "We just… came to an understanding."

Xion's blue eyes darted between my own as she studied me. Her lips pulled down into a frown and I could've sworn they were trembling. Her eyebrows knitted together as she nodded softly.

"I guess she told you." She said bitterly.

I hesitated, watching the sudden anguish that sprang up like a ninja on her face.

"I don't understand." I admitted, sliding down from the bed to sit on the floor with her. This was the most I had spoken in days, I realized it now. But the curiosity of the whole situation got the better of me – as usual. "Why would you do that to her?"

"I-I didn't know." Xion stammered out. "I didn't know she and him… and god, I just feel so disgusted with myself."

"Because you still love him." I murmured.

Her head snapped up and she regarded me, blue eyes narrowing harshly with unshed tears.

"Don't." She whispered sharply. I flinched, slightly taken aback by the coldness of her glare, before leaning back against the side of the bed. Xion huffed, and let out a deep sigh, uncrossing her legs, and bringing them up to her chest.

Her gaze was unrelenting and we were having a sort of intense staring contest, until she pulled away.

"The day of the accident Riku asked to talk to me. And I – I agreed. I met him at his house and he told me everything. From his fling with Aqua, to manipulating Namine, to – to now. I was angry to say the least. I couldn't believe that he was the same person the whole time. He was playing all of these girls just to get to me. And – and I realized that I really wasn't an exception, somewhere down the line he was going to do the same to me."

I watched as Xion wrapped her arms around her legs, closing herself inward.

"I know Riku is… troubled. I understood that when I met him and I really tried to pull away from that. But he was just so… I- I thought I saw something in him. Something good. I know there's some kind of good in him now, but every time I look at him I can't see it anymore."

She sighed a quivering breath and buried her face in her knees.

"I tried. You have no idea how hard I tried Kairi. I look at him now and I'm trying – trying to find something but I can't. I look at him and can't help but feel hurt and try to make sense of how everything just turned to crap."

Xion brought her face up, quickly wiping her eyes with her sweater shirt, and sniffing loudly.

"I can't… I can't do it anymore. I'm not the person who can find it. I know that. He knows that. And that's what I tried telling him but he got so upset."

I felt my own hands shaking as I attempted to reach out to her.

"You don't have to say anymore." I whispered comfortingly. She sniffed again and shook her head roughly. Her eyes met mine in another fierce glower.

"No. I'm telling you this because Roxas loves you and wouldn't do this to you."

I blinked and visibly recoiled at the comment and the name. I could feel my throat tighten up as she studied me with the glare in place.

"Why – why are you making this about me?" I stammered, feeling my chest start to peel at the seams. The feelings I tried bottling up were slowly oozing out. And by god, did it hurt like hell. My eyes stung as the pain filtered past my chest and up my throat. My lungs clenched and it was suddenly becoming harder to breathe.

"Because you're giving up too easily." Xion snapped.

I looked away and down at my lap. My vision blurred as I tried to regain control of my breathing.

"I don't know what to do anymore."

It was quiet and I was afraid that Xion had given up on _me_. My eyes flitted up to meet hers. Her face was soft and there was no glare in her features. She was looking at me with an abnormally gentle look. It was too gentle with too much feeling that I couldn't take it anymore.

I knew the unwanted tears spilled out of the rims of my eyes. I could feel them trailing down the sides of my face.

I felt her hand fall over mine and squeeze it reassuringly.

"You are so lucky." She murmured in a voice as smooth as velvet. "_You_ know that Kairi."

I felt my head unconsciously nod at her statement.

x.X.x

I was still lying in my bed when Xion decided it was time for her to leave. The glow-in-the-dark stars stared down at me and I was vaguely reminded of his room. I remembered the time I was almost in the same position in his room staring at his stars.

I huffed and rolled on stomach. I did not want to think of him. Despite what Xion had told me earlier. It was true. I was lucky in a sense. Better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all right?

But was it too soon to say it was lost?

I rolled on my side and stared out the window. The sky was still cloudy and ground was still wet from the rain yesterday. The storm had long since passed and I was starting to wonder when the rain would pass up.

I stared down at my phone when it vibrated. It was a text message from Namine.

_Look what I got you ;)_

And it was followed by a picture of her fingers holding a keychain of a paopu fruit. I felt my lips pull into an involuntary smile. I caught Sora's wild brown hair in the side of the picture. So much for being discreet again, I thought as I set my phone down.

We were okay now. Namine and I. Shouldn't I have been thankful for at least that?

For at least _one_ relationship in my life to be making its way back to normal?

I heard the loud footsteps of my mother coming towards my room. Languidly, I rose from my seat and walked over to the vanity mirror to pretend I was preoccupied. Her face popped through the door as she watched me with a sympathetic stare.

"Do you want to talk about it – "

"- No." I snapped.

She sighed, pulling her eyebrows together before nodding.

"It'll get better, kiddo." She said softly, closing the door. I felt like throwing something in her direction. How was this supposed to get better? She knew nothing of what I was going through. Of how complicated my situation was. To be in love with someone who was in love with you but stupid mixed signals got in the way.

How was it that after confessing to him I could feel so close to him and his feelings, yet so far apart?

We were both on the same planet, hell, the same freaking town. But it still felt like we were circling in different orbits. Was this even worth brooding over?

Was it worth waiting forever for that happy ending?

I sighed, and brought my eyes to stare at my reflection. There were slight mascara smudges around my eyes and it confused me for a minute. I reached up and wiped them away with my fingers, wondering when on earth I started wearing make-up.

Was I on auto-pilot the entire time?

My eyes flitted around the drawer top and landed on lenses case set neatly next to container that held my contacts. I felt my fingers automatically reach out towards the case and thumb over it. With a sigh I popped open the case and stared down at the glasses glaring back up at me.

"_Just…don't hurt _him_, ok Kairi?"_

"_Listen to that little ol' heart of yours. It knows what its doing."_

My heart? My heart was tearing in two and – dear god, what was I doing?

I lifted my gaze back towards my reflection, and stiffened considerably. What the hell was I doing? Walking away from Roxas like this?

_I'm Kairi!_

I never used to give up. When did I become such a freaking, goddamm pushover?

I straightened my shoulders, grabbed the glasses in the case and rushed out the door.

I wasn't going down without a fight. And if Roxas didn't want to hear it, I'd make him listen.

x.X.x

My feet hit the pavement with heavy steps, and yet I felt like I was floating down the sidewalk. My heart thumped hard against my chest as Sora's house came into view. I didn't expect the sudden pain that came with the knowledge that I would see the familiar blond.

I could feel my insides and chest rip up into little pieces as I slowed my pace and walked towards the door. Every fiber in my body was telling me to turn around and run – run as fast as I could.

_This was a bad idea, just go home Kairi._

My mind screamed at my disobedience.

_Go home. This isn't safe. Please, Kairi!_

And yet, despite all the anxiety and painful turmoil erupting in my body, I still felt the ridiculous tickle of butterflies in my stomach. The burning of my cheeks. The slight sliver of hope that was dangling by a thread.

I wasn't safe, that was true, but I hadn't felt more alive this whole week.

I came to an abrupt halt a few feet away from the front door. The twisting doorknob stopped me in my tracks. The door swung back to reveal the blond that was in my head all week whether I liked it or not.

He didn't see me at first as he tried adjusting his crutches over the ledge. I heard him sigh angrily before heaving himself across the door frame.

When his head lifted up, and his eyes met mine, I swear I might've literally melted, and frozen over just so I could melt all over again. I felt sudden warmth spread across my still shredded insides. The internal injuries were still there – I knew it, I just couldn't feel them. It was almost as if they didn't exist. But I also knew the second those blue eyes left mine; the pain would hit me harder.

His eyes were wide as he took me in. Questioning and something else I couldn't quite determine. I couldn't find any of the hostility from the day of the hospital, which may or may not have been a good thing.

I didn't realize I started moving again until I noticed how much closer I was to him. His eyes never left mine as he watched my movements.

The butterflies in my stomach were in a riot. And I wasn't stopping. My hand reached up to peel off my glasses. My fingers fumbled with them as I stuffed them in my sweater pocket. My feet continued to move and… where was I going?

I was only half aware of the fact that my hands reached up, tangled in the wildly soft blonde hair, and pulled his face down to meet mine. But when his lips touched mine the warmth that initially spread, burst like a bonfire – no like an inferno of bonfires. The butterflies were fluttering around against the inside of my stomach trying to find a way out, as I parted my lips and pulled him closer.

My heart was beating rapidly against my torn chest, much like the butterflies, attempting to find a way out of my body. And what was going to happen once they got out?

My fingers ran their way down his hair and rested on the sides of his smooth face. My thumbs circled around his cheeks, trying to memorize the unusual softness of it, before trailing down to brush against his neck.

I felt a hand at the small of my back, holding pressing my body against his. His fingers tightened around my sweater and I could feel him tugging at it. And it was so, _so_ ridiculously amazing. I _felt_, rather than heard, the noise he made as I pried open his mouth. I was over being shy, and sensitive, and so damn insecure that I didn't even care when I slipped my tongue into his happily awaiting mouth.

The butterflies managed to realize that they could find their way up my stomach past my bursting lungs, and through my tightening throat. My heart seemed to take the hint because I could feel it jumping and skipping and swelling with – with what?

Happiness? Pride? Love?

I tasted it. Winterfresh and there wasn't a moment I was more in love with the taste than now. My tongue grazed against his and I unashamedly felt an arousing tingle at the feeling. God why did I wait so long for this? I swiped around, trying to learn the contours of his mouth.

His fingers loosened around the material of my sweater and danced lower, resting on my hip. His hands were dangerously close to uncharted territories and I was - oh what the hell I was encouraging it. My lungs were on fire and I suddenly realized I needed to breathe. I closed my lips around his bottom one and pulled away with a pop.

His breathing was heavy and I felt it beat against my numb lips, as I tried to even out my own breathing. I opened my eyes to find him staring down at me with amazement. His blue eyes danced with – there it was again – that passion that I was dying for. It was stitching up my ripped up insides as if it were the most natural thing to do. And it hit me, this boy had the power to break me and fix me at the same time. As cliché as it sounded, my heart was in his hands and I was wholeheartedly giving it to him.

"What was that for?" Roxas asked, his voice low and husky – that _I-was-just-kissed_ voice. It sent another surprising tingle down my body. His face was stained with a slight blush and I was swelling up with pride. I did this. I've rendered him completely tomato red. I was shaking with glee, as I ignored his question and captured his lips in another heated kiss. My mouth moved sloppily against his and I was just bubbling with excitement at this newfound addiction.

_It's better with feelings. So… soo much better._

His hand on my hip clenched, before trailing back up. And I wasn't stopping. My lips moved against his harshly. Nibbling, biting, drawing in his lips. They were mine – I was claiming them and I didn't care what he would say afterwards. I didn't care if he rejected or pushed me away after because this was my moment. He was mine and I wasn't going to let go easily.

My fingers grasped the collar of his jacket, yanking his body closer to mine. I was in some kind of blissful oblivion. Nothing else mattered. And when I felt his fingers dance around my belt loop, before slipping inside the back pocket of my jeans, the whole world just sort of shattered. An unfamiliar – but most certainly not unwelcome – feeling pooled at the pit of my stomach. I wanted more. I needed to feel more. My arms wrapped fully around his neck, my fingers tangled in his hair again. I tugged, and wrapped blond locks around my fingers.

His lips mirrored mine as the kiss suddenly turned desperate. His hand inside my pocket tightened and I was pretty sure I was the one that let out a heavy gasp. My fingers curled and dug inside his hair, trying to search for something – some kind of foundation because I was losing myself.

I wasn't aware of my weak knees, or the fact that I was heavily leaning against Roxas, until I heard him grunt and pull away.

My eyes were still closed as I blindly searched for his mouth again. I made contact with something soft and I didn't even bother opening my eyes to find out what it was because I already knew it was some part of him.

"Kairi." The words vibrated against my lips, causing my eyelids to flutter open; I was met with his nervously gulping neck. More butterflies started sprouting in my stomach as I unconsciously smiled, and pressed an open mouthed kiss back to the spot I was in. My lips trailed up and down, exploring the curve of his neck.

It sent a ridiculous wave of pleasure throughout my body, as I felt him swallow thickly.

"K-Kairi, I actually wa-wanted – " He sucked in deep breath when I reached his ear and gave it a small nibble. "- _needed_ to talk – talk to you."

I paused in my ministrations, pulling away so I was only inches away from his ear.

"_Enlighten me_, Roxas." I whispered, not-so-subtly. I felt the involuntary shiver his body made. He groaned and wobbled on the spot.

"Actually, I'm – it's hurting to uh – " He removed his hand from my pocket, and quickly grabbed the crutch that was leaning against the doorway. Once he threw an arm over it, he straightened up slightly and regained his balance. "Sorry. It's kind of hard to lean on one crutch."

I studied him for the first time with this much distance between us. He was still red, as were his lips which were a little bruised looking. His blue eyes darted between mine; I still noticed the confusion and questioning emotions in his eyes. And I still caught the passion underlying both those emotions.

"Are Sora's parents home?"I blurted out without thinking of the implications behind that question. My once confident mask melted, and soon I was blushing as much as the blond in front of me.

"No."

I nodded, before walking past him, and stepping over the threshold. I turned back to look over his shoulder, gesturing for him to follow. He looked apprehensive as he moved to follow.

"My room?" He asked timidly, causing me to raise a questioning eyebrow in his direction.

"Can you get up there?" I asked sharply.

"I can manage."

x.X.x

We both sat awkwardly on Roxas's bed. I honestly didn't anticipate things would get so awkward so fast. I mean I was practically sucking his face off a few minutes ago. You'd think that would be an incredible self-esteem boost.

He coughed uncomfortably which caused me to fidget in my seat.

"Sora and Namine are on a date right?" Roxas finally said after several minutes of silence. I felt a wave of disappointment at the direction this conversation – or lack of thereof.

"I don't want to talk about Sora and Namine." I answered shortly. Roxas snapped his head in my direction and stared at me wildly.

"When did you get so bold?"

I flushed and turned to stare down at my lap.

"Our relationship has suffered so much." I said softly. "I just don't see the point in hiding what I'm thinking – or feeling for that matter – anymore."

"And what exactly _do_ you feel?" The blond pressed. My eyes shot back up to meet his questioning blue ones. They were liquid and soft and I could feel my heart swelling against my stitched chest with so much emotion I couldn't help leaning over and brushing my lips against his again.

It was a different kiss, sweet and simple. When I pulled away I could feel my own lips tingle at the loss of contact.

Roxas flushed, and looked down.

"I uh, was actually on my way to your house when you… caught me outside the door." He admitted.

"How did you plan on getting to my house?" I asked incredulously.

"Walking."

"You mean hobbling?"

Roxas's nervous expression melted away into an annoyed one. He shot me a glare but his face was so soft I couldn't see it as anything more than a pout. The new batch of butterflies jumbled around in my stomach.

My fingers itched for contact; they were fiddling with each other as Roxas and I stared at one another. Finally after deliberating, I hesitantly reached up and brushed my fingertips against his face. They trailed his cheek and across his eyebrow.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, watching as he lazily closed his eyes. "For making you angry."

"I'm sorry. Back at the hospital, I- I don't know what came over me."

"You were frustrated." I supplied. He shook his head.

"I was a jerk." He said, imitating the volume of my voice. Unconsciously I moved closer. "I wanted to make you hurt after everything that happened."

"You did." I agreed softly as I moved even closer and buried my face in the crook of his neck. I inhaled deeply, trying to cement the scent in my head. I think it was at that moment I realized I hated peppermint. "But not without a good reason."

My fingers came upward and played with the collar of his jacket. I felt the gulp of his throat against my mouth.

"You shouldn't say things you don't mean." Roxas finally said seriously. I froze, before pulling away to look up at him. I was about to open my mouth to ask what he was talking about, but his eyes narrowed beseechingly. And I instantly got it. The hospital. The one brief period of word vomit. I hadn't meant to really say that to him at that time. I had it planned out way differently, considering the fact that I didn't expect him to blow up on me.

My face prickled up in temperature and I had to look away from his intense gaze.

"You think I didn't mean what I said?" I mumbled out.

"I don't know! I don't know what's going on in your head anymore. I always used to think that you could never return my feelings. But there were moments that convinced me otherwise. And then you pull stunts like you did the day of… _that_ day. And I just – I don't know."

"Roxas," I started. My eyes flitted back in his direction. His blue eyes darted between my own searching, gauging my reaction. "I love you."

He blinked, completely stunned.

"You're serious?" He stuttered. I nodded my head, with a smile. "Why does this conversation seem so familiar?" He questioned in a small voice. I felt a tiny chuckle fall out of my mouth.

He didn't respond to my laughter. So I pressed my lips gently to his, and let mine linger there for a good few seconds, before pulling away. He stared at me incredulously, as if I walked on water or something crazy like that.

I smiled pushing his blonde hair back and planted a kiss on his forehead. "Kairi, what are you doing?" He tried getting up, but cringed. I put my lips on his cheek, pulled away, and finally spoke.

"I adore you." I murmured against his soft blonde hair. I could feel him stiffen below me. "I-I'm in love you." I admitted feeling my face grow pink. His round face looked as shocked and red as ever. He opened his mouth to speak, but I put a finger on his lips, silencing him. "Don't people do this to the one's they love?"

He fidgeted nervously, I guess trying to counter with a witty remark, but he remained speechless. I couldn't believe how calm I was. Usually I would babble like a freaking idiot, but I was relaxed as ever.

"Kairi, what about Sora and-"

"Roxas," I breathed, putting my hands on either side of his face. "I love _you_. Don't worry about them, because I don't care about them. I care about you." I was on a roll here! My confidence didn't waver for an instant.

"It was that kiss outside wasn't it?" he laughed uneasily, probably trying to decipher if this was a dream or real. I smiled warmly.

"I thought that would be the last time I'd be able to do it. So I had to take advantage of you then." I countered playfully.

Roxas shook his head, a small smile on his features.

"I still don't get it. What brought all of this on?"

"Realization?" I suggested.

"-of what?"

"My feelings." I said obviously. "And the fact that I didn't want to give up without a bang."

Roxas's face fell. "You were going to give up?"

"Never."

"Good answer," He praised lightly, gently pushing me off of the bed, and shifting so that he could throw his legs on the mattress. Once he laid his head on the pillow and settled, he patted the empty spot next to him. I rolled my eyes before crawling up to lay beside him. I turned on my side watching his profile.

"Hey, I never asked you… um…" I trailed off, thinking of a way to word my question. Roxas turned his head to stare at me.

"What?"

"Did you and Aqua ever… you know do anything?"

"No, honestly, she was so different when we were alone." Roxas admitted.

I felt myself sigh in relief as I shot him a thankful glance. His lips tugged upward into a small smile that made the butterflies dart around like a roller coaster.

We both stayed quiet, continuing to stare at each other.

"You know," He said, breaking the silence, a tone of happiness in his voice. "I knew you'd come around soon, I knew you wanted me." He laughed, I couldn't help but joining in.

"Uh huh right." I said sarcastically, breaking our gazes by scooting closer and resting my head on his chest. I felt him press his mouth on my head. _"It's just a crush_ Roxas. I'll get over it."

x.X.x


	45. Epilogue

**Epilogue:**

**x.X.x**

I really did like him, I liked Sora. He was everything to me, and he didn't know. No one knew.

Well… if you didn't count a stupid, persistent… adorably, annoying blond. I mean seriously, you'd think I'd do a very good job hiding a secret crush, but then this weirdo bursts my bubble by sneaking his hands and stealing it right out of my mouth!

Not that I didn't mind, considering the fact that the secret wasn't the only thing he stole from me.

Anyway, the point is, answering my earlier questions:

No, I don't necessarily think it was wrong of me to wish Namine was blasted off this earth or wish she never existed. I know it sounds wrong right now, but in all honesty without going through that stupid jealousy raid I wouldn't have – well – fallen for Roxas. Because he wouldn't have had the courage to take me before Sora did (but don't tell him I told you).

Great, he's giving me that look again. Sometimes it's like he can read my mind… and I hate that… So much.

Now he's looking away… And I hate that more.

Oh, I see what he's looking at now. I should tell you now, that after vacation was over Xion met my cousin Axel, showed her his fire trick… and bleh. I don't see what they see apparently.

Oh, oh, his eyes are back on me and he's – oh god – not another one of those stupid notes.

_Your place ;)_

As if the winkie face makes it any more innocent. I know I'm blushing because he's smirking now…

And….. my thoughts have now reverted to things not entirely PG-13.

But I guess that's a whole _other_ story.

x.X.x

The End.


End file.
